An Arabic Tale,

or: The incredible Arabic adventures of Eve Dansford, as written down by (here words obscure)

based on her own true memoirs and those of her family, to be found stored at the Ponderosa ranch, Nevada, United States of America

 

17.10. (the memoir of Joe Cartwright)

I’m glad I’ve decided to join Cpt. Dansford on this journey, if for no other reason but the fact that Eve became very depressed..

Who could know that the sea would claim the Captain so suddenly? I thank the Lord that Father was spared the pain he would have endured if Sarah or I went down... I remember all too clearly as he was telling us when we were leaving – “I’ve lost one son to the sea – don’t the sea dare to take another.” Adam’s drowning has affected him greatly – all of us, but him the most of all. The parent-child relationship is of different nature than the one of siblings; and it’s unnatural for the younger to go first.

I’ve always thought of Eve Dansford as a lively girl, if something spoiled. She worries me greatly now as she sits silently in her cabin and stares at the wall. Not even Sarah can get through her stupor at times. I hope she can overcome it soon and busy herself with something – that frees the mind from too many painful thoughts. I must find a good guide to fill her with information about the city and its antiquities while we’re sightseeing. If she gets the least interested, her mind will go in a different direction, away from the pain and memories.


20.10. – possibly (Sarah Cartwright)

What dreadful – I don’t even know how to name that thing. My thoughts are all jumbled as I try to organise them. One moment we were walking through the crowded market square, in the next some people grab us, pack on animals like rolled blankets and ride out into the unknown, in the desert, with us two as their booty. Their hands were dreadful, their faces were dreadful, their voices were dreadful. They pulled us with them like slaves day and night, looked us over as though we were little better than some horses or what...

I still don’t know where those two men came from. I saw two horses gallop straight into us, spooking the horses and unnerving the camels, then some force grabbed me upon one of them as Eve was lifted on the other one just as suddenly, and the horses carried us to safety.

Or so we thought. I’ve prayed for help from dear, dear Father – what must he be enduring! – but it doesn’t seem as though they are taking us to him. The younger of the men is called Khaled, the older one is Ahmed. We are sitting in a tent, I and Eve. By some chance, I have both our diaries. Eve is too shaken to write. Beside the capture and the inhuman treatment before, Khaled began kissing her when they’d brought us here. I wouldn’t let him hurt her so I hit him like Dad had taught me. That Ahmed pushed me to the ground, and then, when I was ready to fight both of them – silly, I know, but what else was I to do? – they thankfully left.

Eve is very shaken, so am I. There must be some way to escape and find Father, there must be at least one way and I’ll find it, not yet, not today maybe – but I’ll find it.

 

[20.10.] (Khaled)

[the date is chronicler’s supposition, original dates given according to a different calendar]

Today we saw slave dealers; they kept two white women with them. I don’t like slave dealers. We took the women away before they could stop us and we brought them to our camp and in our tent.

Ahmed had the dark-haired one, and I the blond one. She looked so vulnerable in my arms that I kissed her. She tastes sweet and her body feels good. It was created to lie in my arms, it fits so perfectly.

Then someone pulled my arm away and a fist hit my chin. I saw stars as bright as the sun when my head hit the ground. I heard angry voices and I saw Ahmed throw the dark-haired woman on the ground. It was she who hit me. There is fire in her eyes. She has the spirit of a fighter.

I moved towards the blond woman again and she cowered from me. I didn’t want to hurt her. The dark-haired woman shielded her, holding her fists ready. Ahmed said they were scared of us and they should be left to rest. So I left them. We made a small new tent for ourselves.

Tonight I cannot sleep. I think of the blond woman and how well she fits in my arms. She would feel good by my side now.

I think of white women, European women. Some of them said it is indecent to hold a woman like I held the blond one. Indecent was wrong. They spoke of respect, too.

Women like beautiful things. They like it when a man says they are beautiful. I can give her very many dresses, jewellery and camels; I can show her respect. I want to have her without force. I want her to come to me by herself.

Second day with Khaled – probably 21.10.(Sarah)

Today, he came into our tent again. I wasn’t about to allow him to hurt Eve further. I must have looked funny, now that I think of it – standing there with my fists clenched and my dress dirty and torn. He had a funny look on his face, anyway. The good thing was that he stopped and didn’t try to approach us. He said something in his language and Ahmed came in. He brought some kind of oriental dresses, and Khaled gestured for us to take them. All the dresses looked suspiciously, well, uncovering, only one or two of them more decent. Honestly, I’d prefer something of the kind that he had on. It must have protected from the wind, the sand and surely from the scorching sun.

Khaled eyed me with amusement, and I must say I didn’t trust that look. He said something to Ahmed; the big man reached for something and produced a fabric similar to that of Khaled’s clothes. Khaled smiled at me and indicated each part of the cloth, saying “pour tête”, “haut”, “inférieure part”. As far as I know my French, he must have meant the turban for the head, top part and trousers. The language can be our chance for communication.

He chose a dress – the most decent one, to give him the benefit of the doubt – and handed it to Eve. She stayed behind my back and looked distrustful, so I decided to take the dress for her. Khaled looked hesitant but handed it to me, gazing intently at Eve. He seemed to stop smiling from then on, and soon left the tent with Ahmed. After a moment, some of the women came in. I still suppose it’s a kind of harem that Khaled keeps. Ahmed looks like a eunuch to me; that only confirms my suspicions.

It turned out that the women came to help us change. Obviously the kind of clothes Khaled wore were indeed meant for me. Eve’s dress was fairly light, but covered decently all the right places. It felt embarrassing to have to change in front of these women, but it had to be, I guess.

They paid special attention to making Eve beautiful. I felt almost like a female Arabic warrior; truth be told, the clothes were quite comfortable. The women treated me differently, showed me a different kind of respect than they showed Eve. They might have seen her as Khaled’s favourite, which thought scares us.

Later we were led out of the tent. They seemed to strike camp. Khaled approached us, his eyes smiling; his face was covered, but he pulled the fabric aside. Eve stepped behind me; in fact, I was a bit scared myself, but at least I had the freedom of movement to fight him. He showed no intention of being aggressive, however; he showed to the horses and asked, “ ’orse? Camel?” His English is dreadfully tortured with the French accent, but rather understandable. I preferred a horse, and asked for one for Eve. He shook his head and argued that a camel would be preferable for her; he showed us a pretty litter secured on the camel’s back and repeated, “Camel,” indicating Eve. Unsure as to what he may have in mind, I resigned myself to a camel, too. I’d rather not that they part us.

Before we were brought up on the camel, Khaled managed to somehow get around me to Eve and held her chin, then touched her hair. “Beauty,” he said to her and turned to me. “Beauty,” he repeated with a smile, bowing his head to me. “Vous êtes très belle.” [“You (both) are very beautiful” – chronicler’s annotation] Then we set out.

We don’t know where he is taking us.

 

Third day with Khaled – 22.10. (Sarah)

He gave me a horse today, although I protested. All right, it is more comfortable for me than reclining in the litter up on the camel all day, at least I feel I’m on the move and in control of the horse. Thankfully, we stayed beside Eve’s camel, so I could keep an eye on her. Surprisingly, Khaled started a conversation with me. He asked our names, wanted to know about our families and where we were from. He himself gives no more details on his name than we already know; he claims Ahmed to be his family, but once I asked for details, he said Ahmed were his servant. I’m not sure I understand his thinking in this respect. I wanted to know where he came from, but the answering gesture of his hand was – vague, to say the least. His eyes are like two black gems in black exotic setting; Europeans don’t tend to have such. He claims he’s not French, although it took a moment of hesitation on his part; neither does he admit being an Arab; my next detailed questions as to his origin are answered with a single ailleurs – elsewhere. A mysterious guy, I say. On the other hand, he wants to know a lot about Eve: family, friends, steady friends, character, favourite activities, abilities – I’m not sure what he wants of her, but dadgum it if I don’t stand up and stop him once he tries anything. And nothing stops a Cartwright once she makes up her mind; just let him think of trying...

 

 date obscure (Eve Dansford)

 Wherever I go, sadness follows me. I wonder if it made a difference if we stayed with our former captors; I can see Khaled wants me. He hasn’t done anything after kissing me once in the beginning but the intensity of his gaze alone scares me. Since father is no more, disaster and calamity go my way. I only wish Sarah weren’t here. It seems to me I’m pulling her in this drowning whirlpool without knowing, without wanting. Sadness overpowers me. It renders me incapable of action, fearful and lost. I feel cold inside. I hope no one can see that in me. Sarah would be under more strain; Khaled would use it. What would be there to stop him?

 

 no date (Eve)

 Today, a sandstorm came. Storms begin to scare me. The sea storm took father, the sandstorm left me at Khaled’s mercy. They got me down from the camel and we were headed for some shelter, when the wind hit with such force that we fell – Khaled and I, for he was at my side. I felt something wrap my head away from the outside world, and I thought my heart would stop. I felt Khaled beside me.

I felt cold and hot all at the same time. I suppose that is what true fear does to you. Khaled’s robe was covering my head and I could only see those intense eyes glisten next to me. The force of the wind began subsiding, or the sand around us made it feel so. I suddenly knew we were buried under it, and the thought suffocated me. Khaled began shushing me through the cloth on his face and stroked my cheek. He said in French that it was fine; he whispered it a couple of times, “C’est bien, c’est bien,” the sounds soothing in themselves. I felt silly realising I was behaving like one of those damsels in distress from dime novels. Khaled lived here, he knew what to do, don’t lose your head, I told myself. That would only encourage him to take advantage. I had to stay calm. Khaled kept stroking my cheek and shushing me gently; surprisingly, he did nothing else. Then something tore the fabric up away from Khaled’s grasp, and we saw Ahmed and Sarah above us. They had succeeded in digging us out. I caught the immense relief in Khaled’s eyes, only this making me realise just how lucky we’ve been to have been found, and I had to sit down in the sand again for a moment.

Tonight when we retired, Ahmed brought me a different bedding and took the old one; I don’t know why. This one is warmer than the old one, anyway; there is a barely retraceable scent about it, familiar yet I can’t name it. It’s silly, but it makes me feel both anxious and safe.

 

[between 23.-27.10.] (Khaled)

I watch the white women constantly. The one named Sarah has a fighter’s constitution. Eve, however, is pale and she seems weak. Today a sandstorm overcame us and I held her under my robe to shelter her. I wanted to eat her up alive. I saw that she was scared; I think she can be ill, too. I knew I would hurt her if I held her too close, so I only calmed her until they found us. Luckily.

I want her with my body and soul.

I have sent Ahmed to her with my bed. It is warmer and it will do her good in the night. I don’t want her to be ill. Ahmed brought me the bed we had given to her before.

It smells of her, the bed. I want her. I’m going crazy for her. I won’t sleep tonight.

 

29.10. (Sarah)

I’m sitting at the window and hoping to catch a glimpse of Eve in the crowd. Maybe I’m just cheating myself with the hope...

We arrived at the seaport yesterday. That day, Khaled’s women left us. It turned out that he was helping them get home to their families. Then we were heading towards the market, when suddenly we heard shouting and what sounded like a fight. There wasn’t time to learn what was going on, we were soon surrounded by yelling, fighting, enraged men. Khaled pointed to a group of men in what looked like uniforms, and told us to run there. When I reached them – thankfully, they were soldiers – I turned to see Eve, but there was no sign of her, and no chance of getting back for her into the middle of the crowd. Now as I recall the happenings, I’m quite sure I heard a shot – there was some shooting, generally – and right then Eve cried out. Didn’t sound like a cry of pain, but I’m not sure of anything right now, having mulled it over for hours. Maybe I’m imagining things. Hours have passed until everything calmed down, and then it was hard to find any traces. No familiar bodies were found, either. It gives some hope.

I hear Father outside the door. Whether it was the Lord’s Will or coincidence – whatever you call it – Father was the first person I ran into after reaching the soldiers’ headquarters. I name it the Good Lord’s Will. He is good, he will help Eve.

I told them to look for Khaled and Ahmed, as well. They were the last to see Eve...

Father came in and just shook his head again. He looks tired, although you’d think he got ten years of his life back once he saw me. He’s ageing a little again in his concern for Eve.

Maybe I should look more closely at the passing crowd. Just maybe.

 

1.11. (Sarah)

 I can’t bear to leave shore, yet I can’t bear to stay. The ship is to leave in a moment. Dear Lord, watch over Eve and bring her safely home. Watch over me and dear, dear Father. He’s had far too many worries on this journey. Lead us home safely, to our family, and let us appreciate them the more for all that has happened here. May this damned land never have existed.

 

Date obscure (Khaled’s diary; Eve’s hand; in French)

 Eve sits by my side and writes for me. I cannot write with my injury. I don’t really remember getting injured. I remember people around me.

In the scuffle, I rediscovered my mother. There is also a man. A man I don’t know but my mother and Ahmed tell me that he is my father. I like him. I trust him and that surprises me. I don’t trust people, usually.

Eve argues that I should use words which she knows, not from Arabic or my mother’s tongue. Now she laughs at my words but she writes them. I like it when she sits with me.

I don’t remember getting injured but I remember that Eve shot at one of the men, and I was already injured then. It is strange. I remember how calm she was. I also remember that I was afraid when I woke up, afraid that she would be gone. She could have left me and she didn’t. I never was so much afraid as then, when I thought I could lose her.

I love her.

Khaled went to sleep. The dictation tired him; he’s still very weak. I do remember how he got injured, and hard as I may try, I cannot wipe the image out of my mind, him bleeding all over the ground, as it seemed to me, then the man trying to kill him, and the fear that forced me to grab a pistol and possibly take a life. I was so afraid for him. Afraid of losing him.

He is my only family now. I don’t know what happened to Sarah, I can only hope she had reached the group of soldiers that was our aim.

Khaled’s parents treat me very naturally, as though I were one of them. His father is white, possibly American, but I can mistake here. Either he hasn’t used English for a longer time, or he has just learned it somewhere. Sometimes sailors speak a couple of languages, none perfectly but most of them understandably, some just  enough for a simple conversation. He has a gift of talking about the most important or most painful things in the softest, calmest, most reasonable and convincing way, regardless of the language he uses. I told him of my father, and talking alone seemed to help – his words so much more. He must have endured a lot of pain himself in his life.

Khaled’s father is a handsome man – has passed that on to Khaled, obviously – with a white beard and trustworthy eyes.

Khaled’s mother speaks little. She doesn’t need to. You always know what she wants of you. She’s not Arabic, but I  don’t think she is from somewhere near Europe. She has gentle eyes and a patient smile. When she heard of my father, she just hugged me tight and let me cry it all out. It was the first time since the event that I could cry for him.

They call Khaled: John.

Khaled stirs in his sleep, but is probably still too weak to shift. He’s still pale, but the fire is back in his eyes and voice, and I know he will be fine. Still, today’s dictation has tired him quickly. He needs his rest.

It is strange and silly how difficult it is to speak to someone directly about certain things. Yet he just needed to say I love you to the page to strike my heart. Then, as I turned to him, he began showering my hands with kisses with both such intensity and gentleness in his eyes... The skin still tingles with the sensation.

I love him. I can’t say that directly to him either and that is so silly. It feels even more silly as I know he will read it for I write it in his diary. I suppose that’s why I write it here.

I think he knows anyway.

 

15.11. (Joe)

I prefer novels to experiencing pirate fights first hand. Those are cruel men, animals I’d call them but the God’s creatures have nothing in common with this murderous locust. Two men dead, five severely injured. Had it not been for the other ship, we might not have made it.

We thought at first it may be another pirate ship, and my heart sank. In face of imminent danger, however, you don’t put down your gun and let anyone kill you just like that. The time we fought without hope, however, was not lost, as the other ship opened fire to the pirates, and soon new figures jumped on board of our ship, pushing the pirates in-between us and them. Soon, it became apparent that the newcomers, clad in Arabic fashion and thus easy to spot, were even harder on the pirates than we. Obviously – allies.

My heart rose, more so when I spotted a small cloud of smoke from the cabin door, slightly ajar. Sarah was definitely a Cartwright. I gave a her a lecture later, of course – the men could have easily ripped the door out of the doorframe, and her with it – but I can’t say I’m not proud of her. Then a pirate appeared at my elbow unexpectedly, as though from the depths of hell – yelled a war curse in language unknown – and fell like a cut-down tree at my feet. I only saw two burning, oriental eyes from the folds of the Nomadic-like, dark blue turban, and my ally turned to fight off another attacker. I could swear he was still very young – but his face was covered with the blue fabric his clothes were made of. I wonder if he’s an Arab. The others don’t look Arabic, despite clothing. We only know they are our allies here and now.

When the last of the pirates was caught and put in the empty cargo hold to bring them to justice as soon as possible, most of the strangers were already back on board of their own ship. I saw one of them exchange a few words with our Cpt. Johnson, who was shaking hands with him and nodding. Then the Captain ordered his men to take care of the dead, the injured and – a thing I didn’t understand right then – to find old, spare clothing.

It turned out that the Arabic clad men wanted to change their clothes to something more Western. I gave the Captain some clothes for them, too, but I didn’t want money, although they were paying handsomely for the things to the crewmembers. Clothing is the least we could give them to thank for their help, I think. The sailors don’t seem to share my point of view, sadly.

Tomorrow we should reach land.

 

16.11. (Joe)

We sat at dinner when they announced the captain of the other ship. Captain Johnson rose to greet him properly. In response to the greeting, the man who came in shook his head. “I’m not... we don’t have a captain”, he said hoarsely. I still have the feeling I know this voice; I hear every word in my head; the voice reminds me of something that I cannot grasp – it’s an infuriating feeling.

In answer to Cpt. Johnson’s query, the man said, “I was the commander of those people.” When? Many years ago, as he claims. He is well-built, but looks somewhat emaciated. His complexion is olive-grey, there is bruising around his eyes, and all in all he looks weary.

They plan to stay in the port for a couple of days; the men are tired from the journey and from the long absence from home. From the fight with pirates, as well. The man is wearing some of the clothes they had bought from the crew; the others are also wearing them. The clothes don’t fit, and mostly the men look sorry and miserable in them. They plan to buy some more fitting ones today or tomorrow, as I’ve heard. The man doesn’t want to immerse in the matter of how they ended up on an undermanned ship with scarce clothes. He doesn’t even want to explain who they are. We were sailors was all he said to Cpt. Johnson. Cpt. calls him Commander. He doesn’t look very official in the too small shirt and loose-fitting trousers, but he has a natural air of authority around him, and I’m inclined to believe that he had indeed been a Commander. It’s a man to give orders, not take them. His eyes bother me. He hadn’t exactly looked at me, he just spoke with the Cpt. and didn’t pay much attention to anyone but the crew; he soon left. He came only to thank for the clothes and say they were staying here a couple of days. Cpt. Johnson decided to stay as well, even if only to accompany them; I was about to suggest it myself. They helped us, after all, and their ship is terribly undermanned even for a layman’s – i.e. my – eye. The Commander expressed his gratefulness, although he sounded only polite, and left. His eyes still bother me. The eyes and the voice. I don’t know what it is about them, and it drives me mad not to know. I intend to find the man tomorrow, maybe visit his ship. I need to find out what it is about him.

 

18.11. (Joe)

I went on the other ship and sought the Commander’s cabin. The people already wear their new clothes, and look much better, cleaner, more civilised. In the Commander’s cabin I found a woman (which is not a common sight on a ship, unless it’s a passenger ship) and the young Arab I thought I had seen during the fight with the pirates.  I could see his face now, and then it was again, the unsettling familiarity of the eyes, though exotic, the lips, the expressions, the movements. The cabin was full of rich Arabic clothes and some chests; one of them was open, revealing a dazzling treasure of gold, silver, precious jewels and other riches.

The woman was still a handsome one; she wasn’t pretty – she was attractive in this other special way: more serious, calmer, more classic than most of the girls and women I’ve met. The young man could be her son; there were similarities. He was displeased with my arrival, and shut the chest with a challenging look. It was then that the Commander entered.

He was saying something as he came in, but stopped at the sight of me. I faced him, and he looked at me as though a lightning had struck him. Then he called my name and that sound brought everything home, which felt like a roaring avalanche to my poor mind. I thought I’d go crazy, and that maybe I already had. We held each other as tight as we could and I cried like a baby in his arms. The emotion was too great to describe.

That was yesterday. He has found some men, as he tells me, that can join his crew, and possibly we’ll sail home together with Cpt. Johnson. I don’t want to risk getting parted by any caprice of nature, and aim to move our things over to a free cabin next to them. His wife’s name is Abisha; he sometimes calls her Ahava, though. Told me it meant ‘beloved’. His son’s Christian names are John Abdiel. And he, John that is, is not a Nomad, although he used to dress like one. The big Arab I have seen earlier on the ship is called Ahmed; he was introduced to me as a friend of the family. The crew, when they learned who I was, hastened to exchange greetings and shake hands; their respect and love to their Commander is staggering, and encompasses all that are connected with him. Tonight, I will bring Sarah there. I haven’t told her anything yet.

18.11. (Sarah)

Father invited us to the other ship, the one under the Commander. I didn’t even know the man’s name; all call him Commander. For some reason – although I have never seen the man – his eyes seemed familiar, and that made me uneasy. Tonight I’ve learned the reason. I was told I was in for a big surprise, but what happened, surpassed all imagination.

In the beginning, we were led to a cabin to have supper there; the crew were so respectful and polite that I didn’t know what to make of it. Then the host came; his wife was with him, and behind them stood no one else but – Khaled, with that infuriating smirk on his face. Beside him there was Eve. My mind and my heart stopped.

Father began the introductions, but barely had he said a few words when there was complete chaos and confusion. My head is still spinning from all the news and revelations. Maybe tomorrow I’ll be able to put all the puzzles in place and grasp the whole picture. There was too much of it at once.

 

18.11. (Khaled) [original date, Western calendar]

I’ve never seen so much confusion at once. I was surprised to see Sarah, true; but she was very shocked to see me and Eve. I don’t know the sight of which one of us was more shocking for her.

It began with the first introduction; all the things we did not know. I’m sorting it out in my mind; my father and Sarah’s father are family and only they knew that, and they’ve learned it yesterday. So Sarah and I are cousins. She didn’t know I was my father’s son – her uncle’s son – and it was the first shock. Sarah thought that Eve was lost to them and therefore she was again shocked, and we had to tell of our accidental meeting with my father. She heard that I took care of Eve and she was shocked again; I think she thought I would hurt Eve, but I never would. Her father – Joe – was shocked as well; he did not know that I was the Khaled about whom Sarah told him. I saw his face and eyes and I don’t think she had told him something nice about me. He was also shocked that I helped Eve and that she was safe. My father didn’t know that Sarah’s father knew Eve, and he was shocked, too. It was funny. At some point my father began to laugh and it was pleasant to hear that. His laughter sounds pleasant. I don’t remember him laughing; but I don’t know him much yet and I don’t remember him at all. When he laughed, everybody laughed after him and we could have supper in peace. I must ask my father who is the guardian of Eve if she has no family.

 

20.11. (Joe)

Although they are new to the crew, the men Adam had hired seem to work well and know their place on the ship. It is strange – no one wears any kind of clothes or symbols to show their rank and yet nobody questions the authority of the higher ranked man. Adam explained to me they had once or twice met with some of the men, so they aren’t complete strangers, and his old crew remember who was who and share the knowledge with the newcomers. Adam acts as the leader – he refuses to be called captain – and the people follow him with some kind of love. No one wants to tell me what had happened to them while we thought they were gone; Adam and the crew don’t seem to hear my questions in that matter, and Khaled only smiles at me. I’m not sure if I can talk to Adam’s wife, her culture may not allow that, even if Adam laughs when I say so.

Khaled, or John, as they call him now, is a very interesting young man. He often pretends not to understand me when he doesn’t want to answer some questions, yet I’m sure he knows exactly what is being said. He speaks a curious mixture of French, Arabic, English, Hebrew and Aramaic – at least these are the languages Adam is able to enumerate. John seems still confused in the matters of language, and doesn’t mind substituting French or Arabic words or phrases for English ones. Adam is working with him on his English, and on dividing his knowledge into particular languages. His mother teaches him as well, as she knows more Arabic than Adam and certainly more Hebrew.

Eve is staying with them. She works with John a lot, talking about religion, language and culture. They spend a lot of time together and seem to have taken to each other; when I hint at that, Adam shrugs his shoulders. He seems to think that it’s completely normal and that there’s nothing wrong with that. Ahmed laughed at me when he heard of my problem; he adores John and thinks whoever John chooses to have should belong to him. Adam smiles bitterly when he says he can’t bring Ahmed to think differently than in terms of ownership. Ahmed, in turn, is trying to be more ‘western’ when in Adam’s presence. It feels as though Adam is averse towards the Arabic culture, and Ahmed knows it, but I don’t know what may have caused that.

There is some kind of bond between Ahmed and Adam, not quite one of servant and master, although this is how Ahmed addresses Adam often in private. Something brought the two quite close together.

From what I have learned and deduced, Ahmed is a eunuch.

 

25.11. (Joe)

Yesterday John came to me and gave me some papers to read. I recognised Adam’s handwriting; John kept smiling at me in his smug manner, and only said, “You ask.”

Once I started reading, I couldn’t stop before I’d read all. It was about Adam’s life after the ship went down.

I’m starting to sort it out, now that I have calmed down. I read the night through, and cried – no, HOWLED the night through as well. It may sound silly as I write it now, I know, but whatever kept Adam going through all this cruelty – I can’t understand, I can’t grasp.

The shipmate associated with pirates. The desperate fight. The Arabic market – I never did and I never will understand how can someone sell people – and how Adam must have felt. He writes the worst thing was the separation from his crewmates – he was bought (I hate this word, but this is the one Adam uses) by an Arabic sheikh by the name of Abdullah. The man seemed to ‘like’ him in some sick way, kept him like a pet, for pleasure.

Ahmed was his warden, and, indeed, he was a eunuch. Adam was given anything Abdullah could think of – rich clothes, golden jewellery – rings, chains, anything possible – pets, women. Then the first pet he really liked, Abdullah had it beaten to death in front of Adam. Adam writes the lesson was never to value anything or anyone higher than his master. Other than this one pet, he hated to use what he was given, wear the clothes, put on what was rich or adorned, never wore signet rings unless Abdullah forced him to; then, in fact, Ahmed forced the rings on his hands, almost breaking Adam’s fingers in the process; he never paid attention to the pets he was given, or the women offered to him. There is so much hatred and bitterness on those pages that, as much as I wouldn’t believe it, I still could – I know it sounds stupid, but I can’t express it otherwise – when I read the letters in black red saying that he had just slashed his wrists. The next page said they have managed to save him.

Abisha was the one exception to the rule of ignoring the women. He writes about her as though it was most natural that she was there. They fell in love, the child was born. All Adam writes at that time is filled with apprehension and outright fear of Abdullah. It was painful to learn how right he had been. One day, Ahmed just took her and the boy away, leaving Adam hateful, vengeful, and bitterly grateful he wouldn’t witness their death, as he knew Ahmed had the order to get rid of them – and that meant only one thing. The next page says that they have saved him again. For some time, he fell into disgrace by Abdullah for doing that. His writing is more relaxed then, when he expects to die soon and so be free. He didn’t die.

Adam never really explains in his notes how he came to Mohammed’s palace. Mohammed was another sheikh, and another ‘master’ of his. Most of Adam’s notes relate to the time at Mohammed’s palace; he seems to have spent there most of the years he’s been thought dead.

There were mentions of a business nature from time to time, then more frequently – either Adam was remembering Ponderosa business relations or procedures, or calculating things he observed. His life seemed to have toned down emotionally. He is calmer, and his writing is not so upsetting.

Up till the end of his life there, Adam stubbornly kept declining anything offered to him as a gift, and eventually Mohammed brought him to a group of slaves, telling him to decide on their fate. Adam recognised his old crew.

What scared me most, was the sick logic in Adam’s reasoning, taught to him by Abdullah: if he tells Mohammed to free them, they’ll be killed for Mohammed’s pleasure; if he tells him to kill them, the same happens. So he only asked for the same to happen to him as would happen to them. He admitted being their leader, and feeling responsible for them. Now I understand why they love him so.

He was consequently brought with them into where they stayed. One night they were given some food and drink, and the next thing they knew, they woke up on a ship. The ship was deserted but for them. They had clothes (although Arabic), food and water. Utter disbelief continued even after they found Mohammed’s letter. The sheikh admitted to admiring Adam’s courage, and let them go wherever they wanted to – free. I suppose all I’ve seen in Adam’s cabin – the clothes, the riches – comes from Mohammed. Here end the notes.

I have to see Adam.

Once Adam learned I’d read the notes, he opened up a little. Otherwise, I suppose, he would have to do a lot of additional explaining, and I’m sure he wouldn’t like to remember it all in such detail.

I found him in his cabin with Abisha; John was on deck with Eve and Sarah. Adam was slightly surprised when I showed him the notes, but didn’t seem angry at John for showing them to me. He looked through them with a bitter smile. He supposes the notes from Abdullah’s palace were taken by Ahmed, as he had left them there; he agreed to fill in the gaps as well as he could.

Abdullah’s palace was raided one night; everyone scrambled away into the dark. Adam was caught by Mohammed’s people when running out of the burning part of the palace. He admits with a smile that it was less disgraceful than being bought like a horse after standing three hours in the scorching sun on display on the marketplace – his own words. He admits that Mohammed wasn’t as bad as Abdullah; yet he couldn’t bring himself to trust the man. He had acted in the manner of a kind of business advisor, however, hence the notes. He supposes that was the reason why the sheikh had kept him for so long and in such good conditions. He now admits he had been lucky in that respect. I can’t see it that way.

He shows me Mohammed’s letter and jokes that the sheikh was kind enough to use mostly the words which Adam knew. It looks like child’s scrambling to me, but hey, I don’t read Arabic!

Adam confirms that all that is there on the ship, including the ship itself, came from Mohammed. They were given Arabic clothes, however, and longed to have some more familiar ones. “With all the fortune here I could buy Massachusetts, not just some clothes,” declares Adam, but to my eye he could buy the whole New England with what he had there, and still would have some of the fortune left. He shows me everything with an indulgent smile. He’s seen far greater riches.

Some time after they woke on the ship, they heard some commotion from the port. Adam describes it all rather vaguely; anyway, they all met at some point in midst of the scuffle: Adam, Ahmed, John, Abisha, Eve. It turned out that Ahmed had not got rid of the woman and child in the usual ultimate way. He had just brought them to a white settlement – French, that’s why John speaks the language. After some years, already after Abdullah was gone, some unrest caused Abisha and John to be parted. Ahmed stayed with John, whom he had come to love as a son. For some reason, however, he still wouldn’t see himself as a part of the family but rather as a servant.

From that point on, John led a Nomadic life, acquiring probably more Arabic; then at some point he met Sarah and Eve, but lost the sight of Sarah in the scuffle in the port. Eve stayed with him.

Adam briefly told me how they had nursed the injured John to health, put out to sea, then saw our fight with the pirates and helped a bit. Then he asked about home.

I’m sure I’ve told him some of the stories already a couple of times, but he doesn’t seem to be bored. He could listen to them for hours. He visibly can’t wait to get back home. It is Ahava, however, (she lets me call her so) who asks most questions. Her English is smooth, though the accent clearly foreign. I suspect she comes from somewhere in the Middle East, but I haven’t asked. I ask if John would like to hear it, but Adam supposes that Sarah and Eve are sharing the knowledge with him on the deck, anyway. Maybe tomorrow. He admits they are both still learning about each other, John having no recollection of his father, Adam having known him only as a baby. Abisha and Ahmed are a kind of bridges. Ahava is a truly remarkable woman, intelligent, warm, patient. Ahmed, as far as I can read him, has a soft spot for both Adam and John, and considers them his masters; he also treats Ahava rather warmly, especially for an Arab. Adam sees him as a friend, particularly because Ahmed saved his family, and he understands Ahmed had a tough life and nothing compelled him to change like he’s trying to change for Adam.

I want to see them home, on the Ponderosa, by the fireplace, at Pa’s side. The news of Adam’s death had cost him more than enough; he needs to get him back. We all need that.

 

26.11. (Sarah)

Strange how the obvious isn’t so obvious anymore. Whatever story I tell, Khaled – still can’t think of him as John – asks questions which would have never crossed my mind. He was surprised that we have to follow the law just as everyone else, and that the law is actually represented by the sheriff. Mais vous êtes riche, he said. He didn’t want to believe me when I said everyone on the ranch had to work. Mais vous êtes riche. He can also hardly pass over the fact that we have no servants. Mais vous êtes riche. Hard-headed like a true Cartwright, my word. And when I spoke about the work with the cattle, his expression slowly changed, until he offered, Mais vous êtes riche, in a strange voice, clearly disgusted. Only after Eve and Uncle Adam confirm it, his doubts seem to be somewhat fading. Although, once Eve did try to pull his leg and convince him of something untrue – but he asked Uncle Adam as his final oracle. He calls him Abba – it means Daddy; Father is Ab. I think the word is Hebrew. It has a special sound from his lips.

 

27.11. (Khaled)

I went to Abba with his notes. Now I have seen Eve and Uncle Joe read them and I want to see him read them, too. He was surprised, but he never dismisses me. Even when he says no, it is for a reason. He went through the notes with me, and I saw what I thought I would see in him, and much more. It is the only way to understand. He is not like the people I know.

I showed him the other papers, too. I don’t read English. He began reading them to me, those they call poetry, and he translated me some of the ones he calls “epic”. My French is better than his. We laughed about it.

We need to find a tongue we both use equally well. Abba speaks English and some French and Arabic. Maman speaks Arabic and her home tongues, and French, and some English. I speak French and Arabic, but it unnerves me to know so little of English words that Eve does not understand me. Uncle Joe claims I speak a chaotic language of many languages. But I’ll learn, they’ll see, I’ll show them I can. Abba laughs; I believe him when he says he is the same. I feel he understands.

Home is my parents. I lived in many places, and places don’t count. Home is when I feel good. I feel good when Abba holds me like that at his heart. Like maman. It is not a thing a man yearns for, but something a child would want, but it is also something a man likes to remember in his heart. Abba couldn’t give it to me when I was a child, so he gives it to me now. It is our secret.

 

Abba wants to know how I got out of the difficulties at the French place. Ahmed brought me away after I hid somewhere in a dead end street. He knew me, he came a couple of times to our place. I think he lived nearby. I feel Abba is grateful to him. They are very different; it is difficult to feel genuinely positively about someone so different. Abba can. I will learn, too.


26.12. (Ben Cartwright)

Christmas without Joe and Sarah. Hopefully the only one. Their letter made it home, and they are hoping to get back in the second half of January or the beginning of February, with some late Christmas surprise Joe is boasting of impossibly; with luck, they’ll be here even around the middle of the month. Lord bring them home safely.

 

26.12. (Joe)

Wish we were home already. The time drags on like a stray cow stuck in the mud. Christmas isn’t the same without Pa, Hoss and Barb, the kids, the Ponderosa. Adam awfully wanted to be home for Christmas, but as a sailor he understands that he can’t hurry the ship or change the weather. We’re making good time, though.

I’m glad there was someone to read from the Bible on Christmas day. It’s not like anyone can read it in any way. Everything is special on that day. I was always more accustomed to Pa reading, but truly never has anyone read it like Adam yesterday. Goodness, how I had missed his reading voice.

I promised we’d make ourselves real Christmas once we were home, be it the middle of January. At least John will know some of our traditions by then, and will be able to join in more fully.

Home, home, home, home, home. Home, sweet home.

16.01. (Hoss Cartwright)

Dear Lord, I must tell You – You know it anyway, I guess – but I have to tell You, You sure know how to get someone the best Christmas present ever. Touched me right there in the heart with your own finger. I felt it. You know I trust You and I bless You each day of my life, but right now I wanna explode, with this gratefulness and awe and all those things You know better than me how to name. You be blessed for all time, I can only say, but You know what’s in me and in those words. You know they ain’t just words for me. Oh – You know.

I thought I’d pass out there and then, and Pa right with me. And Joe’s introduction – the world’s most famous sheikh of all Arabia – I think the kids did believe him at first. No wonder, with Adam clad in that white Arabic gown or robe, or whatever that was, with all those rings and the golden chain and the jewels, and John in that strange dark blue clothing – Nomadic, they say – Abisha with that yashmack thing or whatever you call it, and Ahmed... All Joe’s idea, of course. Where did he find him? how? – everything is still a blur with all the emotion, they will have to tell the story again, and again, and again, and again -

Dear Good Lord, be blessed once again. You know I’m bursting with thanks and all – You know. I know You do.

 

16.01. (Ben)

 I’m a truly happy man. The missing third of my life has been restored to me. Lord be blessed.

THE END

Chronicler’s note: This thrilling story, dear reader, brings also a moral with it for you to follow – Author’s voice, interrupting: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..........

Author’s notes:

1.      “Abba” (Hebrew) is a diminutive of “ab” – father and so is a counterpart of English dad/daddy. From Ks. Tomasz Węcławski, “Abba. Słowo pierwsze, słowo ostatnie”, the last fragment of the book Wobec Boga Ojca.

2.      The term ‘Arab’ has been used in late 19th century also as a euphemism for ‘Jew’, the terms ‘Hebrew’ and ‘Israelite’ being occasional pompous circumlocutions; to avoid ambiguities, however, the words are used here in their contemporary sense (from Euphemisms. Over 3.000 ways to avoid being rude or giving offence, John Ayto, Bloomsbury, 1994).

3.      Abisha/Ahava’s name was taken from the site http://www.20000-names.com/ with the meaning of “God is my father” and “loved one, dearly loved” respectively; Khaled is an Arabic name I know, and I found it’s meaning to be “~eternal”; I am not fully certain of the data on the site, judging by the Polish names they give; however, these names are probable (Abisha, Ahava) and certainly existing (Khaled/Khalid).

4.      Nomads are all peoples who don’t have one place to live, but lead their lives travelling from place to place; as far as I know, it was also a name of one specific tribe (who indeed lived that way).

5.      The Arabic countries described here are a kind of Aladdin’s magic land, fully justified in tales of the mythical, oriental and exotic. You haven’t believed the chronicler that the story is true, have you?

       Or is it true, and just disguised as a tale? What do you think?


agnierszka  

 

 

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