Disclaimer: I am making no money on this venture. No copyright infringement intended. Just borrowing the boys for a short while and promise to return them unharmed. Thank you to Mr. Dortort for his excellent cast of characters.
“She just don’t like me, Cooch.” The paint
nodded his head in commiseration. His
young master ran his fingers through his mane as they walked the road out of
Joe sighed. This
sure has been a hard month…Pa and Adam are upset all
the time ‘cos we just can’t hire enough men…and I
didn’t help things by complainin’ about Carl…but he
gives me the willies. He don’t like me either, and I have ta
work with him tomorrow. Not even Hoss
believes me about him, but I know he’s up to no good and he’s all the time
tripping me or giving me slaps on the back when no ones around, ‘cept they’re more like hits, he means to hurt me…Joe
had never in his twelve years been afraid of a ranch hand, but he feared
Carl. The man acted regular around Pa,
and Adam had hired him months ago, so Adam thought he was all right, but Joe
had seen something in Carl’s eyes when they were alone that frightened
him. It’s like he’s dead inside…and
I’m supposed to help him repair fence tomorrow.
We’ll be alone all day…Joe shivered.
Joe had been letting Cochise have free rein. His thoughts were consumed with worry about Carl and how Pa would react to yet another note from Miss Jones.
When Cooch stopped, Joe looked up, surprised. We’re at the fork already? Cooch had halted near a wagon that was pulled off the road. A man bent and examined the hock of his lathered horse, still in harness. The man looked up at Cochise’s snort.
“Hey, son.”
“Hello, sir.”
Joe pressed Cooch’s flanks, bringing the up pony alongside of the covered wagon. He noticed the shovel and pick strapped to the side closest to him.
“Is this the way to
“Yes, sir. My name’s Joe…Joe Cartwright. Do ya need any help? I could ride in and…”
“No, lad. My name is Oscar Wright. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance. We’ve traveled a far piece today, so I’m giving old Bear here a rest, and then we’ll go on into town.”
Joe tipped his hat in farewell. He’s headed for the mines like all the rest. No wonder we can’t find enough men for a full crew. And he’s pushing that poor horse too hard…As Joe passed the back of the wagon, a boy jumped out, startling Cochise. The paint reared, and Joe slid off and landed on his back on the road. His breath rushed out, and he opened and closed his mouth a few times before his lungs decided to work again.
He drew in a few shaky breaths, and tried to sit up, looking around for his horse.
Cochise had stopped nearby.
His head was down. Joe thought he
looked embarrassed. You should be…scared
of a little kid.
Mr. Wright rushed over. “You all right, boy? I’m sorry about that. Toby’s three and hasn’t learned to look before he leaps.” He looked sternly at the small boy. “ Apologize to Joe, Toby.”
Joe smiled. “It’s all right. I’m not hurt, and I’m glad Toby wasn’t either.”
Toby flung his arms around Joe’s neck. “Sowwy! I sowwy.” He had a funny scratchy little voice.
Although surprised, Joe hugged the boy back and was rewarded with a beaming smile. “You’s got the pwettiest howsy I ever seen, Joe.” Toby coughed at the end of his sentence and grimaced a little, rubbing at his throat.
“Thank you, Toby.” Joe looked between the boy and Mr. Wright. “If it’s all right with your Pa, Toby, I’ll let you sit on Cochise a while.”
Toby danced around Joe. “Pwease, Papa? Can I?”
Oscar Wright nodded. “Mighty kind of you, Joe.”
Toby’s face lit up as Joe lifted him onto Cochise. “Hold on right there, and I’ll walk him around. Don’t kick him though. Keep real still.” Toby nodded, coughing twice.
“Look, Papa! Look at me!” Mr. Wright smiled at his child’s delight.
Too soon for Toby, his Papa decided that their horse had had enough of a rest. “Thank Joe. Hop down, Toby; we need to head out.”
As Joe lifted Toby down, he was rewarded with a kiss. “Tanks, Joe. You’re weal nice, Tanks for sharin’ your horsy.”
Mr. Wright smiled at Joe as the boy swung himself on his horse. “Thank you kindly, young Joe. Your thoughtfulness made my Toby very happy. I’m sure he won’t forget you.”
Joe’s face reddened a little at the attention. But it’s sure nice to have somebody happy
at something I’ve done.
He waved at Toby as the wagon moved off.
“Bye, Joe! Bye Cochise!!”
I’m so late. Joe
kicked Cooch to a run. I’ll be lucky to be home by
suppertime. Pa’s going to bust a gusset!
****
“Let’s just eat,
“Yeah. After all, he’s done delayed so long we had ta do his chores—again! He’ll come breezin’in any minute with another excuse.”
Annoyed as Ben was at his youngest son’s tardy habits, he
was surprised to hear the vexation in Hoss’s
voice. Normally, Hoss made excuses for
Joe’s worst behavior. Ben nodded at his
older sons. “Go ahead, boys. No use in all of us eating cold food.” We’re all too tired. I need to remember that when that prodigal
gets home and I have to punish him…again!
He sighed and bowed his head. Lord, give me patience.
****
Hop Sing was cutting the dessert when they heard Joe ride in. But it was another thirty minutes before the front door slowly opened and the youngest Cartwright entered.
“You certainly took your time caring for your horse. I’m sorry that you haven’t developed such care for your family! Why are you late this time, Joe?”
Ben felt his temper heating even further at his son’s silence. “Joseph…look at me! What delayed you today?”
Hoped that supper would’ve sweetened
his temper. No such luck…Joe
looked at his boot tips as he dug in his shirt pocket. Wordlessly, he met his father’s eyes as he
handed him the folded note. “I…I’m
sorry,
Joe flinched back as his Pa swept the note from his fingers. “I…I can explain, Pa…”
“I do not want to hear from you, Joseph. Go to your room. Now.” Ben’s face reflected his disappointment with his youngest.
Joe watched him unfold the missive and scan it. He’s real upset…can’t stand to see that
look in his eyes…right now, I feel lower than a worm’s belly…
Ben glared at his youngest. “I know that you heard me, Joseph! UPSTAIRS! NOW!!”
Joe jumped, and then nearly ran up the stairs. He sneaked a look at his brothers on his way
by the settee. Adam looks as mad as
Pa! And Hoss…he looks like…like he’s
disgusted with me. Pa didn’t even let me
explain…
Joe grabbed the stair rail, his eyes already blurry with
tears. He knew that his Pa would be up
later for a ‘necessary talk’. But he knew
that even if he did get spanked tonight, it couldn’t possibly make him feel any
worse. Feels like I’m just a problem
to them…I…I know they love me, but it don’t feel like any of ‘em like me much right now…or want me around…
He wept on his pillow. His stomach growled, but he didn’t want to face any of them and ask for dinner. Anyway, he thought that the food might not stay down, given the way he felt; he was hurting and all twisted up inside. He rolled over and stared at the ceiling. His eyes were burning, so he closed them. Feels some better…wish Pa would hurry up…this waiting is the worst part…Joe let his mind drift, remembering Toby’s bright smile. Soon, the tired boy fell asleep, his long lashes still wet with tears.
Downstairs, Ben paced back and forth, first to his desk and then back to the fireplace.
Finally, Adam heaved a sigh. “Pa..”
Ben rounded on him. “WHAT?!”
Adam just looked at him.
Ben modulated his tone, visibly relaxing. “What, Adam?”
Hoss threw up his hands. “Oh, just go up there and wallop him, Pa! It’s the only thing that’s getting through to him these days. The boy’s brain must be located in the seat of his pants!”
Ben shook his head. “I need to calm down before I talk to your brother. And Hoss, you need to calm down too. Your brother is in the wrong, and I will punish him as I see fit, but you are acting as if you are storing up his offenses like a squirrel stores up nuts for the winter.”
Hoss looked away and struggled to contain his ire. “I suppose you’re right,
“Tired. We are all too tired.” Ben looked at his older sons. Adam was slumped in his chair as if he didn’t even have the energy to sit up straight. And Hoss’s attitude spoke volumes to his Pa of the depth of weariness in his middle son. “Our work load is affecting our patience and our tempers. I, for one, am going to bed. I’m sure that things will look better in the morning.”
Adam snorted. “I’m
not! We’ll still have too much to do and
too few hands to do it. But I’m
following your example,
Ben smiled at his eldest. What would I do without him? I…I hope that he knows how very proud of him I am…
He watched his sons climb the stairs. You two are certainly taking a much slower pace than Joseph…but I’m not yelling now, either…He banked the fire, then dimmed the lamp and carried it upstairs.
Joe’s door stood open and the soft glow of lamplight spilled out into the darkened hall. Ben began talking as he crossed the threshold. “Waiting up for me, Joseph? I…”
“Shh!”
“Pa!”
Ben jumped a little at Adam and Hoss’s whispered shushing. He hadn’t known that they were in the room.
Hoss was carefully slipping off Joe’s boots. “No whipping for you tonight, shortshanks.”
Ben was relieved to hear the tenderness in Hoss’s voice. He
watched Adam ease the folded quilt over the sleeping boy. He smiled his thanks at his eldest son. Adam is always looking after his
brothers. It was probably his idea to
bring Hoss in here…
Adam caught his Pa looking at him and winked. His quiet voice was resonant and calming. “I never can get over how angelic he looks while he’s asleep. Hoss told me once that this is Joe’s true face—the one he hides under all his mischief and energy.”
Hoss looked at him, startled, and then looked thoughtful as he watched his little brother sleep. “I forgot that I said that, Adam. Guess I should thank you for reminding me. I…I’ve been real impatient with Joe lately. Guess I do need some sleep, too.” He took one last look at his slumbering brother and his eyes softened. “Goodnight, punkin’—see ya in the mornin’. Goodnight, Pa; goodnight, Adam…and Adam, don’t think that I don’t know why ya brung me in here.” He cuffed Adam’s arm lightly on his way out the door.
Adam leaned over and ran his thumb down Joe’s cheek. “Goodnight, baby Cartwright.” He laughed softly. “I have to wait until you’re sleeping to use
that name without backtalk.” He smiled
again at Ben. “Goodnight,
Adam stopped at the doorway and watched Pa fuss with Joe’s
blankets and then sit carefully on the bed.
His fingertips grazed the still wet lashes, and then he bent and placed
a soft kiss on Joe’s forehead. Adam
looked away. Buddy, I hope that you
know that your Pa’s doing the best that he can—try harder to please him, little
boy! For all our
sakes.
****
Joe woke to the smell of bacon and biscuits. The soft morning light meant that it was still very early. Better get up and get my chores done. Maybe I can do some of Adam and Hoss’s too…kind of make up for them having to do mine. Joe kicked until his feet were free of the covers. Wonder why Pa didn’t come in last night. He must have been extra mad. Joe stood up and walked to the basin to wash his face. He winced and rubbed his forehead. Hope some breakfast stops this pounding…Joe didn’t bother to change his clothes. He slipped on his boots and tiptoed down the stairs. Adam’s door was still closed, and he could hear Hoss snoring. I’m the first one up! How many times has that happened? Joe rolled his eyes. Except Hop Sing, of course. No one is up before him…I wonder if he ever sleeps? Joe stopped at the front door and unlatched it, careful to open it slowly so that it wouldn’t squeak.
He rubbed his forehead again on the way to the barn. Have to ask Hop Sing for one of his nasty
tasting teas if this don’t let up. It
feels like Hoss is squeezing my brain!
“Hey, Cooch.” The paint whinnied a greeting to his boy. “…be with ya in a minute, Coochie.”
For the next hour, Joe worked hard, mucking stalls, filling water buckets, milking the cow, and gathering eggs. He was chopping more kindling when Hop Sing called him in to breakfast.
“Smells good, Hop Sing.”
“You eat big breakfast! Make up for no dinner.”
“I plan to…” Joe cleared his throat. His headache had backed off some, but now he had an annoying ache in his throat.
“Good morning,
“Joseph. I’m glad that you’re up…and so early. I heard you outside. Are all the chores done?” Ben patted Joe’s empty seat beside him.
Joe grinned at his father’s welcoming tone and quickly sat down. “Yes, sir. I even got the tack room in better order.”
Ben smiled. “Good for you. Say the blessing, Joseph, and we’ll eat.”
Breakfast conversation was pleasant, but no one lingered. There was too much to be done.
Accurately gauging his Pa’s mood to be much improved from last night’s, Joe tried again to get out of working with Carl. “Pa…Isn’t there something that needs doing here? Can’t someone else go with him today? I…”
Ben’s stony glare made Joe falter.
“Joseph. Fencing is a two-man job. You’ll do it, and no more complaints. And—I haven’t forgotten about the note from Miss Jones. You will not be allowed to attend the picnic Sunday. You will stay here and write a letter of apology to your teacher. The rest of your day will be spent in your room contemplating how you will pay better attention to your lessons in the future.”
Joe looked dismayed. “Can’t you just tan me, Pa? I’d rather…”
Joe glared over at Adam, who was trying to cover his laughter with a cough.
Hoss guffawed loudly. “What’s the matter with ya, boy? Askin’ Pa for a whippin?
Joe’s face darkened in anger. “Don’t…don’t you laugh at me. This is between me and Pa! Just…just you two keep your noses out!”
Adam stood. “Gladly,
little boy. Pa…we’re leaving. I told Clem to have the men at the south
meadow by
Still laughing, Hoss followed Adam out the front door.
Joe watched them go, furious at their taunting. He blinked back tears. “Pa…”
“Not another word, Joseph.
You will saddle your horse and meet Carl at the west fence line as we
discussed. By now, he will have the
wagon there with everything that you two need.
And, Joseph—you will be home and cleaned up by
Joe dropped his head, brushing his hand over his eyes. “Yes, sir.” He whispered.
“I better get going then. I…I’m
sorry, Pa—I..I just…”He shrugged, at a loss as to
explain his trepidation; he was unable to put into words his unease, his fear
of the ranch hand. Carl better not
try any of his tricks today…there’s no one gonna be
there except us…I’ll have to watch him close…
Ben sighed as his youngest son dragged out of the house. That boy! What was going on with him? He stared at the stack of invoices on his desk. ‘Sooner begun, sooner done’, as my father used to say. Smiling ruefully, Ben started his ledger entries and forgot all about trying to understand Joe’s behavior.
By lunchtime, Joe was ready to go home. Only his unwillingness to face the disappointment that he was sure he would see in his Pa’s eyes kept him at Carl’s side. Sure enough, halfway through the morning, Carl had begun bumping him, jostling his hands as he tried to tighten the wire. Joe tried to keep an eye on the man, but that distracted him to the point that he cut his own arms several times. To top it off, his headache was worse and his throat burned with every breath he took of the crisp morning air.
When Carl called a halt for lunch, Joe tried again to find out why the man seemed intent on bullying him.
“Say, Carl?”
“What do you want, boy?” Carl glared at him, visibly irritated at the boy for bothering him during his break.
“I…I wanted to ask ya…is there somethin’ I do that makes ya mad? We’re having to work together and I want to get along with ya—it would make for a better day, don’t ya think?” Joe gave him his most winning smile, determined to make amends, even though he couldn’t figure out what he had done wrong to make the man despise him so.
Carl just stared at him, and then took another bite of his sandwich.
Joe tried again. “Carl…”
“Shut up, brat.” Carl’s face reddened and he stood up quickly. Joe backed away from him, a little apprehensive at the anger he saw in the man’s eyes. “Rich man’s brat. I have to put up with you today, but I don’t have to talk to you, and I’m not going to slow my work down for you! You get in my way, I let you know, don’t I boy? Just do your work, keep up your end—and I won’t bother you, hear?”
Carl had advanced to where Joe stood, and the boy had to concentrate not to back away again. Carl poked him in the chest. “Understand, brat?”
“Y…yes.” Joe hated the tentative sound of his voice. Is that all this is? Am I not pulling my weight? I…I know I’m doing my best…Is my best not good enough? Joe was normally a confident young man, but the last weeks of strife at school and conflict at home had robbed him of some of his self-assurance.
Carl smiled, reading his fear. He needed this job, for a while. Just long enough for his plans to come to fruition. He had been feeding his partners information about the herd movements and the route for the upcoming drive. They would make some easy money soon. In the meantime, it was fun to torment the kid, when no one else was around to step in.
“I see that you understand me. Now, let’s get back to work, boy.” Carl gave Joe a slight shove back to the fence line.
The final shove of the day happened when both of Joe’s hands were full; he was crouching down, twisting a section of wire taut when he felt Carl’s boot hook his right leg. Joe threw himself to the side at the last second, so the barbed wire caught him on the side of his face, on his cheekbone, rather than across his eyes.
Joe landed on his hands and knees, shaking with pain and
fear. His face burned, and he felt the
warmth of his blood flow down his neck and soak into his collar. I think I
made a mistake by talking to him about this; he’s madder than ever at me…
“Clumsy, ain’t ya?” Carl’s taunting comment enraged Joe and his fear of the bully evaporated in the heat of his anger. He sprang up and charged, burying his head in the man’s soft gut. Carl sat down hard—right on the roll of wire.
He howled and rolled off, clutching his punctured backside.
Despite his lingering fear, Joe began to laugh. “Hurts a little, don’t it Carl? In fact, I think you should find a safer job,
cause I’m not gonna take this off of you anymore, and
I plan on having a long conversation with my Pa when he gets home today. I don’t care how bad you hurt me. I’m gonna give it
right back—any way I can!” Mighty big
words…I hope I can live up to them. God,
help me not to back down…
Carl started to get up, and then froze at the sight of the boy’s blazing eyes and blood-streaked face. Joe wasn’t laughing now. Never thought you looked like your Pa, you little devil, but damn…if you ain’t his spittin’ image right this second. Carl weighed his options and decided to take the brat’s advice. So far he’d gotten away with his petty torments and his spying, but the kid’s face looked like it needed doctoring. Carl didn’t want to stick around and answer Ben or Adam’s questions about this day. He decided to cut his losses and move on. There were easier chickens to be plucked than these Cartwrights.
Joe saw the fire die in the man’s eyes, but he kept his
guard up. Adam was right. No matter how scared you are, it’s always
better to stand up to a bully.
Joe hid his relief when Carl muttered. “Sick of this job, anyway—tired of working around Cartwright whelps.”
Joe watched Carl warily as the man limped over to the wagon and untied his horse, settling very gingerly on the saddle. As he rode away, he yelled. “You can finish this fence alone, boy. You tell that brother of yours that I quit!”
Joe stood watch until Carl disappeared in the distance, and then he relaxed slightly. His hands were trembling and his heartbeat was still faster than normal, but he thought that he’d hidden his fear well, and he felt a surge of pride. Despite the fact that his throat was raw and his face hurt, he was happier than he’d been in a long time. Carl was gone!
****
By the time that Joe finally finished stringing the rest of the wire, the fireflies were lighting the tops of the high meadow grass. The fencing wasn’t as taut as it should have been, but Joe had done the best that he could. The muscles in his arms and abdomen shook with fatigue as he loaded everything back in the wagon. He was careful to pick up the tools and the little scraps of barbed wire. The cattle sometimes ate them if they were left behind, and the bits of wire could perforate one of the bovine’s stomachs, causing a slow, painful death. Joe did not want his carelessness to be the cause of a beast’s suffering.
The boy was so tired that he had a hard time getting up onto
the buckboard seat. Least this day’s
almost over. Right now, missing that
picnic tomorrow seems to be a good thing.
I think that I want to sleep until Monday anyway. He clicked his tongue at the team and
they started home. His face was still
burning, and he fingered the wound carefully, feeling the ragged edges still
oozing blood. He’d seen enough of it splatter the ground around him while he
worked. I’m late, and I must look a
sight. I hope Pa listens tonight before
he starts yelling—of course, when he sees my face, he may take pity on me, at
least he might let me off the hook for missing dinner again.
The team stopped at the barn door, and Joe gradually became
aware that the wagon was no longer moving.
Wha..? I think I fell asleep…last thing I remember
it was still light…Why am I so dizzy?
Joe climbed down and made his way to the house. It was dark and silent. Where is everyone? Oh yeah, everyone’s at that dinner with the
Major in
Joe lit the kitchen lamp and looked around. His stomach rolled at the thought of eating anything, but he did need to clean his face. The stove was still hot, and the big pot on the back burner was full of warm water. He stripped off his shirt, dropped it, and grabbed a few rags, then ladled some water in a nearby pitcher. I’m too tired for a real bath…I’ll just wash up and go to bed. He carried everything up to his room, trying not to cough and jostle the full pitcher. The burning in his throat vied with the slash on his cheek to see which one would cause him the most discomfort. He wished that Pa were there with him. Even if Pa was going to yell ‘cause I’m late…again…at least I wouldn’t be alone in this dark house, having to doctor my own face.
Feeling very sorry for himself, Joe transferred his supplies to his dresser, and took a look at his face. Yuck! I’m a sight to scare small children and stampede cattle! Avoiding looking at his cheek again, Joe dumped the hot water into the bowl and soaked the first rag.
****
There. That’s the best that I can do…It looks a little better, I guess. If the stinging is any sign, I suppose I got enough soap in there to clean it out. Wish it’d stop bleeding…Joe staggered over to his bed, his legs wobbly with exhaustion. There was a note propped next to his lamp. He read it slowly, rubbing his head.
‘Joseph. You will go straight to bed. I cannot begin to tell you how disappointed I am that you are late again. But I will not let your behavior undermine what I had to do with your brothers this evening, and so I find that I must put off speaking to you face to face until I return. If we are delayed, you are to stay in your room until I send for you.’
Joe’s shoulders slumped and he could not control the tears that had begun when his eyes read ‘disappointed’. Oh, Pa! I want you to be proud of me, and I just can’t seem to please you lately…I’m trying as hard as I can to show you and Adam and Hoss that I’m growing up. I hate this feeling between us now; I hate feeling like I’m not good enough anymore, like I’m always out of your good graces. Joe coughed hard, his tears thickening his breathing and causing him to choke a little. His head felt like it was about to split apart. He laid back on his pillow, feeling the tears slide down the sides of his face. His cheek pulled and burned, and he closed his eyes tightly trying to control his emotions. God…why can’t I do anything right? Despite his efforts to stop, Joe cried for a long time before he fell asleep.
****
It was nearly
“Thanks, Clem…we’re all done in.” Ben smiled tiredly at his foreman.
“I can see that and I’m happy ta do it for you all, but I wanted to speak with ya a minute too, sir.”
Adam and Hoss took a step nearer Clem; they had heard the solemn, almost angry tone of his voice.
Ben looked concerned. “Is something wrong?”
“Well, Mr. Cartwright, I don’t know if something’s wrong, I just didn’t think that this could wait until morning. You need ta know that I had to drive Hop Sing into town earlier, we got word that his father had an accident…he’ll be all right, but Hop Sing wanted to stay and help.”
“So no one was here for a while? When did Joe finally get in, anyway?”
“I don’t know, exactly. Sometime while I was gone, Joe came back, but he didn’t put away the team or his horse, just left them by the barn. That’s not like him, Mr. Cartwright. Joe’s real responsible about caring for Cochise. So with Hop Sing gone, and him the only one here, I was a little worried about him. I did see his lamp lit for a while, and now it’s out, but he didn’t answer the door when I knocked earlier. I was just about to go on in when I heard you all coming”
“Why didn’t Carl take care of the team, I wonder?”
“Don’t know that either, Mr. Adam. I haven’t seen hide nor hair of that bad apple.”
Adam smiled at Clem’s blithe scramble of metaphor, and then frowned as he absorbed the foreman’s meaning.
“You don’t like Carl much, do you Clem.”
Clem turned to the side and spit. “He’s a snake, but we need the hands. I promised Joe that I’d stay out of it, but I seen him pick at the boy when he thought that no one was around.” Clem glared at them. “You might think that I’m overstepping, so I’ll say sorry before I start, but I think that the three of you have been making light of the lad’s concerns. I know that he’s scared of Carl, and with good reason. The man’s a bully, but Joe felt like he had to handle him alone…”
Ben looked stricken. “…Because we wouldn’t help him.”
Relieved of his secret, and glad that Mr. Cartwright was now taking the matter seriously, Clem nodded at his boss and led the horses into the barn.
Hoss looked toward the house. “Pa, I think we oughta get in there. I…”
Adam was already walking toward the ranch house door. Clem’s words stung. If that man hurt Joe, it will be partly my
fault. I didn’t listen to the kid. Clem’s right, we’ve been too caught up in our
own worries to help Joe through his…I’m sorry, brother.
They entered the house quietly and started upstairs. Joe’s door was closed, but they could hear him moving around and coughing a little. Stopping at the door, Ben turned to his older sons.
“I don’t want us to leave this unresolved. Even if we have to wake him up, we need to talk about this until it’s settled. I’ve been reviewing the last few weeks in my mind, and all I can think about are all the times we’ve yelled without listening to him. I have to apologize.”
Adam smiled sadly. “I feel the same way, Pa, so lets get to it.”
“I jest want to see that he’s all right,
Ben put his arm around Hoss’s shoulder. “Your little brother has a forgiving heart. We just need to talk it out with him; now, let’s get in there.”
Ben opened the door and they walked into a nightmare.
****
“Joseph…” Ben’s words died away as his mind tried to make sense of what he was seeing.
“Dear God! Hoss, go downstairs and send Clem or someone else for the doctor. Hurry!” Adam bypassed Ben, who was still frozen in place, and rushed to the bed.
“Pa…PA! Help me!” Adam’s frantic voice finally galvanized Ben to action. Together, they lifted Joe’s head off the blood soaked pillow, and helped him to sit up. Adam had pressed the sheet tightly to his brother’s cheek, trying to stem the blood flow.
Joe’s eyes were open, but they were unfocused. His face was splotchy and red in some places, paler than milk in others, and Adam could see the veins in his brother’s arms as his hands plucked aimlessly at the counterpane. It scared him, how insubstantial Joe’s flesh looked.
“Hold him upright, Adam. I want to get some of this water in him. He’s lost so much blood…”
“Joseph…try to drink, boy. That’s it, son. Good…good boy.” Ben held the cup and coaxed Joe to finish it. Ben could feel the blazing heat of Joe’s skin. The boy was burning up with fever.
“
Adam pushed it firmly against the bleeding cheek and Joe moaned, trying to move away from the increased pain.
“Shhh. I know it hurts, buddy. But you’re going to be all right. Pa’s here. I’m here. We’ll take care of you.” Ben’s eyes filled at the tender concern in Adam’s voice.
Adam looked up at him, despair in his voice. “Pa…he’s scorching hot. I…I’ve never felt a fever like this before…”
Ben nodded. “We’ll try to cool him down. I’ll have Hoss get some cold water.”
He stood, but before he could leave, Joe gave a choking cough and then threw up; his vomit was streaked red with blood. Joe continued to gag, shuddering and heaving, nearly falling out of Adam’s arms. They watched, too horrified to move, as he continued to convulse, choking tearing coughs bringing up nothing else but bits of bloody mucous.
Adam managed to hang on to him, and tried to help him clear his mouth of the mess, but Joe was out of his head with fever. He mumbled and screamed in a hoarse voice until his eyes rolled up and he fainted. He collapsed against his brother, and Adam clung to him, shaking.
“Pa…Pa… Oh God, what’s wrong with him?” Adam rocked Joe, his tears falling on the unconscious boy.
“Adam. Paul’s on his way. It’s up to us to keep Joe alive until then.” Ben shook his oldest son’s arm. “Adam? I need you to be strong for me, son. Help me to cool him down.”
Together, they stripped the bed and bundled the mess of
blood and vomit soaked fabric, putting it in the far corner of the room. Joe lay on the floor, on top of a pile of
quilts from the linen closet. He was
covered with a water soaked sheet, and he shivered slightly. His eyes tracked the shadowy shapes of his Pa
and brothers, but he didn’t understand what he was seeing. He was too cold, and then too hot. His head and throat hurt so bad, but he was afraid to cry out. He didn’t know why he was so afraid, and he
couldn’t think to reason it out. He only
knew fear, and heat, and cold, and now pain, more pain tearing away at his
throat as he coughed and wheezed. And
finally, a clear thought surfaced. I
want to die…I want to leave here…I hurt and I can’t stand this…I want to
die…Please, God…I want to die.
Ben got to him first this time, and jerked him on his side. Joe retched and choked on the bile, but his throat finally cleared, and his skin turned from blue-gray to red as he caught his breath. Ben nearly turned away at the misery in his baby’s eyes. “I know, Joseph…I know it hurts. Oh son, I would be in your place if I could, but I can’t, so you must go through this, Joe. You must fight to get well.”
Hoss was kept busy bringing up buckets of well water to
clean and cool Joe. While in the yard,
he kept an anxious eye on the road, willing Dr. Martin to hurry. He was sure that the next trip upstairs would
be the last, and Joe would be still and blue in Pa’s arms. I can’t stand lookin’
at him, even. I’m so afraid, God. Help Joe!
Dr. Martin arrived at the Ponderosa at
“Well, young man. What have you gotten yourself into?” Dr. Martin did a quick visual examination, clucked over the torn cheek, and then ran his fingers over the rash developing on Joe’s neck and chest. He lifted the unresponsive boy’s arms, then pried open his mouth.
“What is it? Paul…What are you looking for? You suspected something before you came in…”
Dr. Martin shushed his friend with a wave of his hand. “I’m not jumping to any conclusions, Ben. Allow me to thoroughly examine your youngest before I diagnose, all right?”
Ben flushed at the gentle reprimand. “I’m sorry, Paul. I’m just so worried. I…I’ve never felt a fever like…”
“But it’s down some now. That’s excellent. You did what you could.” Paul continued to prod Joe’s neck as he peered into his mouth. After a few more minutes, he sat back with a sigh. He mumbled to himself. “First thing, stitch that face…”
He turned to the men watching. “Ben. How long has his throat been sore?”
“I…I didn’t know that it was…” Ben looked down. “I failed him, Paul; in the worst sort of way, I failed my boy.”
“Ben, illness is easy to miss, especially in someone like Joe, who hates being ill and hides it. Don’t feel like you…”
Ben just shook his head. Paul didn’t understand. “What do you think is wrong, Paul?”
Paul sighed, his voice quiet. “I’m so sorry, Ben. He’s got all the symptoms of scarlet fever.”
Ben gaped at him. “no…NO! He’s not going to die, Paul. He can’t die…I won’t lose him.”
Paul gripped his shoulder. “I’ll do all I can for him, Ben. But you know how serious this is for children. You need to keep Hoss out of here now. He’s already been exposed, but maybe…”
Ben blanched at the thought of this affecting his middle son. “Paul…what can we do?”
“I want Adam to limit his time in here. He’s probably safe, given his age, but I don’t want to take any chances with him.”
“Wait a minute…I need to help
“No. No, Adam. Do as Paul says. Please, son. I can’t stand the thought of losing…” Ben swallowed heavily, his tears close to the surface. “Please, Adam..”
Paul finished his last suture and rubbed salve around and on the neat row of stitches on Joe’s face. He looked over at the Ben’s eldest. “Thank you, Adam. You can help alleviate your Pa’s worry right now by keeping Hoss company. And keep an eye on him, Adam. If he starts to develop a sore throat, or complains of a headache, come and get me right away.” Paul smiled encouragement at the young man and ushered him out of the room.
He stopped Adam in the hall and whispered to him. “You need to let the hands know that Joe has the fever as soon as possible. And, Adam. This house is quarantined from this moment. No one in or out. Have someone post signs.”
Adam’s eyes were bleak. “What chance does he have, Paul? Am I going to lose my baby brother? Is Joe…dying?”
Paul looked down and away. “I won’t lie to you. It’s very bad right now. And scarlet fever doesn’t just go away. It can cause all kinds of problems with internal organs. Joe could survive the fever only to die of a heart or liver ailment. Sometimes, Adam…sometimes it’s more merciful to succumb to the fever, and that seems to be the direction Joe is going. I’m so sorry, son.”
Adam wiped his eyes. “Promise me that you’ll come and get me if…if Joe gets worse? I need to say goodbye. I need to be there when…” His voice broke, and Paul pulled him into a hard embrace. “I need to be there for Pa…you understand?”
Adam felt Paul nod. “I promise, son. Now go and warn the men. And get the signs posted.”
****
Through that long night and for the next two days, Joe hung on. He clung to life with a tenacity that surprised even Paul, who, from past experience, had come to expect miraculous recoveries from this particular patient. Paul was relieved beyond words that Hoss had shown no symptoms yet, and took this as a good sign that he had avoided contracting the fever.
Hoss and Adam did what they could to help the two men, but
Paul and Ben insisted that they stay away from Joseph. Adam kept Hoss busy, and that helped to
distract the eighteen year old from his worry.
Neither one of them was sleeping well, and they
spent many dark wakeful hours together, talking quietly by the fire and praying
for Joe and their
Joe was lost in a fever dream. Most of the time, he thought that he was with Carl, stringing an endless line of fencing. Every tearing pain in his throat and bowels was another kick or punch delivered by the phantom bully. So Joe fought against Ben’s hands, and struggled weakly out of his father’s tender arms.
Ben was at a loss as to how to help his son. Joe cried out for him, but when he tried to
comfort his son, Joe looked horrified, his face twisting into a grimace of
pain. Ben settled for holding him when
he was unconscious, and hoped that somehow, Joe would know that he was there,
would feel his love for him. His
thoughts went inevitably to Joe’s struggle with Polio. Did you spare him then Lord, so he could
suffer and die now? I don’t want to believe that…His whole life has been a gift
to me, to Adam and Hoss…Oh heal him God…
****
Paul was sleeping, and Ben was alone with Joe when the end
came. Adam and Hoss had been allowed in
to the room briefly that morning, as Paul was sure that Joe had lost this
battle. Ben was rocking Joe, holding the
boy next to his heart. He looked down
into Joe’s gray twisted face and prayed for his youngest as he had done
endlessly for the past three days. You’re
burning up again, Joseph, and you’re suffering so…I love you, and I can’t
imagine my life here without you, son, but I don’t want you to hurt
anymore. Ben shuddered. I was strong for my boys as they said
goodbye to you, baby…I didn’t want to add to their burden. God help me to be able to comfort them…He’d
wept so much the past few days that he didn’t have any tears left to cry, but
he sobbed now anyway, his eyes dry and burning, his heart breaking as he prayed
to God to take his boy, to deliver him from the pain filled cage his body had
become and to comfort what was left of his family. If he’s going to die, God, if this is the
end of Joseph’s days, take him quickly, God.
Be merciful and take him out of this pain…and help my faith, O God. I don’t know how I will survive this loss…
Joe hadn’t moved in hours, but he could feel the arms around him, could hear his Pa’s heartbeat. He knew that he wasn’t alone, and he was content. His body suddenly didn’t hurt anymore, and the absence of pain was the most intense pleasure that he had ever experienced. He could hear Pa praying, and wanted to tell him that he was all right, that he felt wonderful, but he couldn’t get his body to obey his thoughts.
Ben opened his eyes when he felt Joe take a deep
breath. His son’s face was relaxed and
his eyes were open, brilliant green under a glaze of tears. Joe’s cheeks were rosy, shining with beads of
water that sprung from his skin even while Ben watched. Ben touched his son’s face in wonder, feeling
the cool soft skin, and Joe’s clear eyes met his. “God heard you,
Ben found that he had tears left after all.
****
Joe was allowed up that day after Paul examined him. He wrote in his casebook. ‘Cured by God—miraculous recovery’, and the doctor wondered for the hundredth time what future plans God had for Joseph Francis Cartwright.
****
Two months later, Mr. Wright came to call at the Ponderosa. He brought Joe a picture of a stick boy leading a stick horse, a smaller boy perched atop the black and white stick pony. There was a giant yellow sun in the sky, and the circle face of the rider was dominated by a wide smile.
Ben invited him to stay for dinner; and that night, he and
the Cartwrights rode to the small gravesite outside of
“You made my boy the happiest I’ve ever seen him. He had a short hard life, and he was never
real strong, but he made up for all that by the joy he took in everything and
everyone around him. I reckon he lived a
richer life than most do who are given
Mr. Wright swiped his eyes, and then put his hands on Joe’s shoulders. “I’d like to think he’d have grown up as fine as you have, Joseph. I thank you again for your kindness to my boy.”
When Joe got home that night, he folded Toby’s drawing carefully, and tucked it behind the framed picture of his ma.
****
Joe’s face healed without a scar. Paul just shook his head, and made another notation in the Cartwright file.
****
Carl and his partners were caught, tried, convicted, and
hung in
The End