ALONE AGAIN!
By Bonnie Nesvick#
January, 2002
With Grateful Appreciation to Meggy the Muse
Adam Cartwright came riding into the yard just as the family was sitting
down for the noonday meal. His primary errand had been to hire
hands to help with round-up and branding. Mindful of the time of day,
he tethered his horse outside rather than put him away in the barn.
A little standing wouldn’t trouble the horse, but keeping Hop Sing waiting
was asking for trouble.
He walked into the house, hung up his hat and set his gun belt on the sideboard
before joining the others at the table.
“How’d you do, Adam? Any takers?” Hoss asked.
“None to be had. Seems like most of them hired out last week when we were
otherwise occupied” Adam glanced in Lorrie’s direction “and the rest moved
on. We’ll have to take care of it ourselves.”
“That’s gonna be a big chore.” Joe said. “It’s been a while since
we tried to do a round up all by ourselves”.
“I think we can manage alright” Ben said. “We’re four grown men. We’ll
just plan to stay out and get the job done. If we push ourselves just a little
harder than normal it shouldn’t take us much more than a week...maybe a week
and a half.”
“Stay out there all that time, Pa?” Joe wasn’t thrilled at the prospect.
Other ranches would be finishing up sooner and they would be sure to miss
some of the springtime social events.
“Who’s gonna cook?” Hoss thought it seemed like an awfully long time to
be away too.
“I didn’t say it was going to be a picnic but we’ll have to get through
it, boys. Let’s eat what we have here and enjoy it...it’ll be camp
cooking after today”.
Lorrie listened intently to what was being said. She hadn’t spoken much
since Ben had found her alone by a burned out wagon. She didn’t remember
how she got here but she was just beginning to feel safe. Now everyone
was talking about going away. What would happen to her then? She
was startled out of her thoughts when the man they called Pa said her new
name.
“What do you think of that, Lorrie?”
She looked up at him. What was the answer. Think of ‘what’?
She stared at him silently for another minute.
“Do you know what I’m talking about?” Ben finally asked.
Lorrie shook her head.
“We have some work to do away from here, the boys and I”, Ben explained.
“We will have to be gone for a while and we want you to stay here and help
Hop Sing take care of our place. Can you do that”?
Lorrie nodded. She would have a place to be. They would come back.
That sounded fine. She didn’t know about Hop Sing though.
He worked hard and she didn’t know how to help him.
**********************
Hop Sing and Lorrie were not a good match from the start. Hop Sing
was industrious and always had chores. Lorrie was inquisitive and tried
to learn how to survive here. Hop Sing had no patience for that. His
workload was too high. He tried to give Lorrie a chore to help him out.
“Missy you give chickens food. You bring eggs. Hop Sing show
you today. Tomorrow you do.” Hop Sing thought this would
be an easy way to keep her occupied at least part of the time. He resented
having this intrusion and the extra work it created for him.
Lorrie had developed an intense fear of birds as she watched vultures
rip strips of flesh off the rotting corpse she had been abandoned with.
She tried to comply with Hop Sing’s request but the chickens were terrifying.
Sometimes Hop Sing sent her outside with garbage scraps and sometimes she
fed them grain.
The first couple of times she came out, they didn’t know she was bringing
food but soon her appearance in the yard caused them to flock at her feet.
Lorrie stood in the midst of them terrified to move, watching as they climbed
over the top of one another to get at the food. Lorrie began running
out of the house, flinging the food quickly in their general direction and
then backing up toward the corral to watch.
In spite of her terror, the chickens held a fascination for her. They
were wicked toward each other...reaching out to peck one another and flying
at each other. Except for one. One of them was sickly and
didn’t move very much at all. Lorrie kept a watch on that one and when
the chickens weren’t flocking to the food, she watched them peck at the lonely
bird. Lorrie hated the sight of it but was drawn to it every day.
She tossed it bit of grain at it but it didn’t move in the direction of the
food. She noticed that the other birds flocked to the new site each
time. When she realized that, she threw the food as far away as she
could hoping to divert them. When Hop Sing saw her throwing food at
the birds he yelled at her in his peculiar mixture of Chinese and English.
She didn’t know what he was saying but his dark look and angry gestures left
no doubt in her mind that she had messed up good.
When she went into the yard for any reason, Lorrie felt her eyes drawn to
he area of the yard where the sad bird was. She had to see
it but at the same time she was afraid to. It was horrifying to watch
the others wander by tormenting it.
And then, there was trying to gather eggs. Hop Sing made it look easy.
He’d reach right under the hen if she was setting and grab the eggs.
No way could Lorrie touch a bird. She took a stick and prodded the hen
away. Even THAT resistance - when the stick touched the bird, caused
her to shudder and frequently drop the stick. She consistently got several
eggs and then the rooster would saunter over to see who was disturbing his
domain. He was aggressive and Lorrie kept a watchful eye out for him.
His approach was always the end of the egg gathering. But sometimes
she misgauged and he would come between her and the door. He would
flap his wings and crow and move towards her. When that happened, Lorrie
usually dropped the eggs and ran. That created ANOTHER problem with
Hop Sing. He needed the eggs and he couldn’t imagine how the girl could
be so careless. No one in his memory had failed so miserably at such
a small task.
When Lorrie went to bed, these chickens came into the room with her.
Not at first. They would wait until she was almost asleep and then she
would jerk wide awake, as they landed on her bed. She could
feel them walking up the bed, hear their feathers rustling, and if she could
dare to open her eyes she knew she would see those beaks coming at her face.
Lorrie screamed, throwing her covers off in an attempt to get them off the
bed! Hop Sing didn’t make that any better. The first time she
woke up screaming he came running upstairs looking for a burglar and
when he found it was only her, he shook his finger and yelled his unfamiliar
words at her. When he came into the bedroom with a light, she could
see they weren’t really there. It didn’t help though. They would
just come in again the very next night.
Lorrie wasn’t quite sure who was worse. Hop Sing or those chickens.
She HATED them on the bed...but Hop Sing would yell and shake his finger and
she didn’t know what he would do either. One night Lorrie tricked the
chickens. She snuck under her bed, and brought her stuffed rabbit and
pillow. She had just fallen asleep when she felt the bed above her
jerk. They were back! Lorrie was very still and quiet. She
KNEW she could feel them walking around on the bed. She wasn’t even
aware that she was digging her fingernails into her arms to hold herself
still. Those chickens couldn’t find her so they finally left.
They must have. She fell asleep. The next morning she found scratches
on her arms and wondered if those chickens had found her hiding place
after she went to sleep.
Lorrie started keeping a stick just outside the door. She could use
it to keep the chickens away.
***************************
The Cartwrights spent almost all of their time out in the far pastures.
There were a lot of calves to locate and though the work was hard and tiring,
all of them wanted to get it over with. Not only were they behind on
branding but ranch chores were piling up as they tried to make up for lost
time.
Joe and Adam spent time looking for the calves while Ben and Hoss kept a
fire going. They would bring in a few calves for on Hoss to wrestle
down to the ground and the others would apply the brand. It was hot,
dirty and Ben’s cooking left a lot to be desired after being used to Hop Sing’s
food. Bits of ash settled in the food and spring breezes dropped bits
of sand and other debris into their dry, tasteless cuisine. There was
nothing pleasant about the work they were doing and all made their best effort
to finish the job as quickly as possible.
************************
Hop Sing was used to making good meals which were enjoyed by all the men
of the Ponderosa. Lorrie was lonely for company during meals and too
uncomfortable to eat under Hop Sing’s watchful eye. She wasted most
of what he gave her. She was an all-around vexation to Hop Sing.
He would be heartily glad when the branding was over and he had some
assistance with the girl again.
In her boredom, Lorrie had spent a lot of time out in the barn while Hop
Sing was occupied with his household chores. It got her
away from those chickens and she was very drawn to the horses. It didn’t
take long before talking and petting them wasn’t enough. She especially
liked the look of a chestnut gelding and spent most of her time in the barn
near his stall, bringing him treats if she could get something away from Hop
Sing. She wished she could think of a name for him. She didn’t
know how names worked. Hers came from a song but she didn’t know any
songs. She thought of him as “safe” in her mind and used that
as a bit of a nick name. It didn’t sound like a real name either.
She didn’t know if he would like it.
Lorrie knew she could ride him. She wondered if Hop sing would
be mad about that. But he didn’t like her underfoot. She decided
it would be more fun than just hiding out in the barn all day. She tried
put a halter on him but he was too tall. She settled for a bit of rope
around his neck...all she wanted was something to guide him till she could
get on. She brought him out into the corral area so she could use the
fence to climb on and mount up. She climbed up but couldn’t
quite bring herself to make that big jump to get on his back. Still,
while he was close she liked to rub against his neck and get the horse smell
on her face. If she could just get on that horse and stayed in the
corral, she thought she would be okay.
She was lonesome too. Only Hop Sing was there and he treated
her mean just like those chickens did to that lonely one.
Nobody ever said she couldn’t get on the horses. It was probably okay
but he didn’t like anything else she did. Maybe he wouldn’t like this
either.
One morning Lorrie went out to do her chicken chore. She picked up
the stick and waved it in front of her keeping the chickens at a bit of a
distance. She went over by the sick one. It was laying flat out.
It didn’t move. Its feathers ruffled with the breeze. She scattered
the grain and walked over a little bit closer. The eye she could see
wasn’t closed but it didn’t look open either. It was all white. It’s
beak was open and she saw a little whitish pink...ack! A trail of ants
was walking across its face and disappearing into the nostril she could see.
Lorrie dropped her stick and covered her face screaming.
Hop Sing heard the noise. He shook his head in frustration.
‘Always that girl scream’! He went outside and saw her standing over
near the chicken coop, hands over her ears. Just like when Mr. Cartwright
brought her. He walked over and touched her shoulder. He didn’t
have the same skill at quieting her. Lorrie didn’t know what had touched
her shoulder. She whirled around and lost her balance. Hop Sing
grabbed her.
“Why you make noise!” Lorrie pointed at the dead chicken. Hop
Sing reached down and picked it up by a leg. It’s head lolled and the
wings fell limply away from the body. Hop Sing gave it a good toss.
It was a horrific sight, burned into her mind. Then he took that SAME
HAND and put in on her arm to guide her into the house.
Once inside, Lorrie ran up to her room and poured water out of the bowl
and scraped and scraped to get that icky touch off her arm. Lorrie
worked hard to get her feelings under control. She didn’t want that
Hop Sing coming up and yelling at her again. She had to get out of the
house. Her stick had been left out in the yard so she charged
as fast as she could to the barn, slamming the door as she went out.
Hop Sing muttered at the noise.
Lorrie had come into the barn without a treat, but her pal was glad to see
her just the same. She got her rope and brought him out and climbed
up the rails of the corral. This time he stood closer and she got on
him. He walked around the corral slowly. Her eyes wandered to
where the dead bird had been. She wished she could get away from that
place. Suddenly the horse ran around the corral and jumped the fence.
Without any control, Lorrie lay down on his neck and hung on. She forgot
about the rope. She had no idea where he was going.
*************************
The Cartwrights were finally returning from the branding weary and dirty,
looking forward to a calm quiet evening, a good meal by Hop Sing and nothing
to do. As they approached the yard, a horse went running in the
opposite direction. Something or someone appeared to be on it.
“What’s that. Did you see that horse?” Adam tossed the question to
everyone.
“It looked like that gelding we were working with before the branding.”
Ben said.
Joe leapt into motion. He kicked Cochise into a run and tried to catch
up with the horse he had believed to be running free. As the gelding
retreated it became obvious that it wasn’t riderless. They all saw the
small figure laying against the horse’s neck.
Ben was stunned. What possessed that girl..there was no RIDING GEAR.
Adam and Hoss turned around to give chase also but there was no need.
Joe had caught the rope dangling from around his neck. He turned toward
home and the gelding followed.
“What are you DOING!” Ben shouted at Lorrie.
“What were you doing on that horse!”
“Riding” It seemed pretty obvious to Lorrie. THOSE MEN were
riding horses. What did they think SHE was doing.
Ben glanced at the horse and saw the little loop of rope around its neck.
For just a moment he felt sick. Nothing there to stop a runaway horse.
“Lorrie you go inside and wait for me in your room.” Ben said.
“Hoss, Joe, take care of that horse and mine, will you? I want to...”
his sentence trailed off as he stalked into the house. He was heading
for the stairs when Hop Sing came running out of the kitchen and stopped his
progress,
“Why you leave girl here with Hop Sing! She make trouble all the time!
No have time to work AND watch little girl! She throw food
at the chickens. She no eat. She scream all night sometimes.
She break eggs! She poke chickens with stick. Make them upset!
She ride horse alone!!! Hop Sing glad you back. You take care
of girl. Maybe Hop Sing go somewhere else!”
Ben soothed the frustrated man to the best of his ability and then went
to have a few words with Lorrie. He was particularly concerned about
the horse incident.
“Lorrie?” Ben walked into the bedroom.
Lorrie had been watching out her window. She jerked around at the
sound of Ben’s voice. “Hi Mr...Pa. Did you come to stay now”?
“Yes. And I’d like to talk to you a bit. Come sit here
by me on the bed. Hop Sing has been upset at some of the things you
have been doing while we’re gone. I need to find out about that.”
“I didn’t do anything bad. I promise!” Lorrie said.
“Well Hop Sing was upset about the chickens. Said you threw food at
them and poked them with sticks and dropped as many eggs as you brought in.
Can you tell me what happened there?”
Lorrie’s eyes welled up immediately. She rocked back and forth in
a familiar but unconscious behavior. “Them....them chickens...Pa, they
are like those birds out there. I can’t touch them. I’m scared
of them. They go after each other and I think they’re going to get me like
them other ones go that man. I can’t...I can’t....” Ben could see the
distress it was causing her and moved closer to her on the bed and put his
arm around her.
Ben reflected back on the scene where he had found Lorrie. There had
indeed been several vultures there, ripping flesh away from the corpse, fighting
one another. It was an awful site for him and he’d been exposed to that
kind of thing before. Lorrie was very small compared to the birds and
for all he knew, she could have thought they were responsible for his death.
He pulled her onto his lap.
“You’re not in trouble Lorrie. I just need to know what’s wrong.
Can you tell me why you drop eggs once you’ve got them?”
“That big ol’ rooster comes at me. I don’t know what he’ll do.
I try real hard to hold...”Lorrie relived the encounter and cried again. Ben,
getting a much clearer picture rocked her on the bed and patted her back.
“Okay, I think I understand that. We won’t have you do that chore anymore.
I guess ol’ Hop Sing thought YOU were scaring the chickens instead of the
other way around!”
Lorrie couldn’t imagine how she could scare a bird. Not after what
she had seen them do.
Ben changed the subject. “Lorrie, what were you doing riding that horse
today?”
“I want to ride him. He likes me. He’s Safe.”
“But you’re too little to put a saddle on him...How did you get on him?”
“I just brought him to the fence and climbed up the fence and got on him!”
“But you didn’t have any way to control him either...just a loose rope around
his neck. That’s dangerous, especially on a newly broken horse.”
“Oh I COULD though,” Lorrie said. “I don’t need that stuff.
Horses know what you want. You...you..” she realized she couldn’t quite
explain how to control a horse.
“I don’t want you on a horse by yourself unless I tell you it’s okay.
Do you understand me?”
“But Pa, I can...”
“Lorrie you are not to ride by yourself. Is that clear?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. We’ll talk about this more tomorrow. We’re all tired
and..”
“I’m not tired!”
“No, you’re not tired. But Adam and Hoss and Little Joe are tired
and so am I. We’re going to have supper and go to bed early and tomorrow
we can sort out some rules.”
Lorrie didn’t want to go to bed early either. She already went to
bed way too early for her likes. It was hard to sleep and sometimes
in the dark, at night...all by herself she started waiting for the chickens
to come and couldn’t sleep at all. That helped because they always
waited till she was asleep but she wanted to stay up as long as she could
and avoid them.
She had been waiting and waiting for this springtime chore to get over so
she wouldn’t be so lonely but it was going to be a longer wait after all.
****************************
Ben walked wearily down the stairs, hoping that the boys were done with
the bath house. From the moment he’d walked in the door he’d been bombarded
first with Hop Sing’s complaints and then Lorrie’s energy. It wasn’t
the way to end a long chore. He’d been looking forward to winding down
and he felt more frustrated than he had during the whole time he had spent
outdoors.
Ben asked Hop Sing for new, clean bath water and got a change of clothes
and went out to the bath house. He helped Hop Sing carry the water,
listening to him mutter about the delay of dinner. Ben grinned...couldn’t
make Hop Sing happy! After days of eating trail food, he was pretty
sure Hoss would make Hop Sing happy when he ate his dinner tonight.
Ben relished his time away from every one in the bath house. For just
a few minutes no one was talking to him, asking him what to do, or making
any other demands. For a short time he could let everything go and relax
in the hot water.
Joe and Hoss were relaxing in the great room. “Too bad we don’t have
beer here”. Joe said. “That branding is hot work!”
“Yeah, I could sure go for a big ol’ glass of beer” Hoss agreed.
***************************
Ben considered Hop Sing’s dilemma with Lorrie. It wasn’t quite fair
to have Hop Sing add Lorrie to his chores. She sure had some deficits
in social skills - but what made her try to ride a horse like that?
That wouldn’t do. He thought of all the areas where she was lacking.
What did she know anyway? He would have to find some ways to keep her
out of Hop Sing’s hair. That was certain.
Hop Sing waited graciously if rather impatiently for Ben to come into the
house. He was fairly sensitive to the men of the Ponderosa. The
new addition was different. An enigma. But he understood what the men
needed after this heavy exertion. As soon as Ben came into the house,
Hop Sing served dinner.
After spending so much time so close together, everyone was ready for private
time and each retreated to their room to pursue their own relaxation.
Lorrie drug herself up the stairs, unwilling to be alone but even more unwilling
to be with just Hop Sing and his bad temper. She got her pillow and
rabbit and went under the bed.
Ben came in to check on her on his way to bed. The bed was too smooth
to contain a child.
“Lorrie! Where are you?” He looked around.
Lorrie scooched out from under the bed. She had forgotten that Pa
always checked on everyone.
“What are you doing under the bed?”
“I’m trying to...I got scared up here when you were gone so I hid.
Sometimes the chickens come in here, Pa.”
Been shook his head. “Just get in the bed, Lorrie and I’ll tuck you
in.”
She lay down on the bed and thought about those chickens. Maybe since
Pa and those boys were back, the chickens would leave her alone. It
sure felt better to have everyone back. She was asleep before she knew
it.
******************************
The night was shattered by the horrible keening sound that the Cartwrights
had hoped was gone. As Ben brought a lamp into the bedroom he saw her
blankets flying off the bed and watched her cover her face with a pillow and
flail her arms and legs wildly. After the quiet of sleeping under the
stars, Adam, Hoss and Joe were startled out of their beds as well.
Hop Sing woke momentarily, heard the noise subside, smiled and rolled over.
This was the first time in a while that he hadn’t been responsible for that
noise and the child that went with it and he was going to make the most of
it.
Ben put the lantern down and reached for Lorrie who was slowly coming awake,
her breathing became jagged as she was struggling to compose herself. Holding
her sobs at bay took all her energy and she couldn’t get any words out.
“Did you have a bad dream?”
Lorrie looked wildly around the room and then snuggled into his chest and
the sobs came out unchecked. It was a while before she could speak.
“No! Them chickens got on my bed. They did it while you were
gone and I thought they wouldn’t come now that you are back. They always
come after me when I get asleep!”
Ben looked around the room and saw his three groggy sons in the doorway.
“Boys, look around in here will you? Make sure there are no chickens.”
“Huh?” Hoss had smuggled critters in before but it hadn’t created
this big of a row.
Adam nudged him. “Hoss just have a look will you so we can get back
to bed!”
Joe brought in another lantern and it didn’t take any time at all to conclude
the room had no uninvited guests.
“It’s clear, Pa. We’ll just...leave you to it” Adam said as
the three made their way back to their rooms.
“Lorrie, the boys checked for me. There are no chickens in here.
You were right. They are scared to come when I am here. I think it was
a dream after all. I’ll just stay a little longer so you can go back
to sleep. They won’t come in here any more. Where’s your rabbit?”
He looked under the bed where Lorrie had started the night and found the
toy and tucked it into bed with her. It was a whole lot easier
to fall asleep with Pa right there and the light on.
****************************
Ben announced at the table, “Boys, I think we all need to pitch in and help
Lorrie learn what she needs to get along if she’s going to stay here. Adam,
I wonder if you could help her with reading and numbers.”
Adam looked over at Lorrie. “Have you ever read anything, Lorrie?
“I don’t know. Probably not. How do you do it?”
Adam knew his work was cut out for him. He wasn’t sure where to begin.
Ben turned to Hoss. “Son, I hope you can help Lorrie learn to ride
like we do.”
“Sure, Pa.” Hoss answered, always agreeable but from what he had seen
earlier today, Lorrie knew how to sit a horse quite well. He wasn’t
quite sure what Pa wanted from him. It was soon clarified.
“Pa, how come you’re having Hoss show her riding?” Joe asked.
“I’m probably our best rider!”
“Joseph, you are our most daring rider. That’s not quite the same
as the best. After what I saw today, I think we would do well to steer
Lorrie away from any kind of dangerous riding.”
“I never did nothing dangerous!” Lorrie objected.
“Anything” Adam automatically corrected.
“See?” Lorrie said. “Even Adam knows it!”
Ben wished he hadn’t started this line of conversation.
“Anyway, Pa, if you don’t think I can help Lorrie learn to ride, what DO
you think I can do?”
“Joseph, if there’s one thing I know you’re good at, it’s socializing.
I’m hoping you can help Lorrie get comfortable with people and start to behave
like a little lady.”
“Well, I AIN’T a lady, Pa!” Joe said.
“No, but you know a lot about how ladies act, Joseph, or so you would have
us believe!” Ben countered.
A smile began to creep over Joe’s face. Pa was right. He COULD
help Lorrie adapt to her role!
***************************
As soon as dinner was finished, Adam called Lorrie over to the settee.
“If you’ve never read anything, you probably don’t know what you’re missing.
How about if I read you a story and you can find out why we like to read?”
Lorrie didn’t know what she was agreeing to but sat down next to Adam.
He had a book on his lap. Adam opened the book. “Once upon a time”
he began.
Lorrie snuggled in under his arm and looked at the funny symbols on te paper
in the book. but in a moment she was lost in the word pictures Adam
made for her. She was going to like this learning!
*Formerly posted under pen name Lorrie Wood
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