GRANDMOTHER
By Bonnie Nesvick June 2002
With thanks as always to Meggy the Muse, to Robb for quality control and to John the Guru for rescuing this story from a dead computer.
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"You’re the big one. The one they call Hoss."
The old woman was standing next to the bank and as far as Hoss could tell, hadn’t turned around at all. He had dismounted and left Chubb while he approached the cave. He thought he had been quiet.
Before he could respond, she spoke again, "Don’t worry, you haven’t lost your knack. I didn’t hear you. I felt you." She put down her work and slowly turned around. She looked him up and down. "It fits."
Stories had been circulating around
"Yes’um, my name is Hoss, alright. I’d kinda like to know what you’re doin’ out here and who you are." Hoss extended his hand.
The old woman took his large hand in both of hers and closed her eyes as she held it steady, rather than shaking it. Hoss was unsure what to do and stood there silently, wondering what to make of her odd behavior.
The old woman abruptly let go of his hand and a smile lit her face. "I’d be pleased to have you call me Grandmother" she replied.
"I ain’t seen you before and I really ain’t no kin to ya." Hoss said.
"We’re all kin." she said and headed into the cave. "Come on in Hoss...we’ll talk a spell. I’ll make you some tea."
Hoss brought Chubb closer to the cave and then made his way cautiously inside.
"You’ve heard stories and decided to check them out." The old woman didn’t look at him as she poked at a small fire with a stubby stick, moving the embers close to one side next to a pair of matching charred rocks. She balanced a pan of water on the rocks.
Hoss didn’t quite know what to make of her. Every time he had a thought, she seemed to speak it aloud before he could voice it. He looked around at the interior of the cave. She had placed a fire pit under a natural opening, which served as a chimney.
The interior of the cave had few personal possessions but Hoss found a place to sit and waited while the water heated water and the woman poured tea for him. She brought it over to him. She brought over a little pottery jar full of honey. "If I’m right, you got a bit of a sweet tooth." She held out the jar.
Hoss was perplexed but dipped into the jar. She was right. He wasn’t too keen on tea anyway. "How come you ain’t got no name ‘cept Grandmother?" Hoss asked.
"I have lived my entire life as a slave to the Real People." she replied. "The elders were treated with respect. I’ve never had respect. I want to live out my days with a bit of respect. Now, I’d like to talk to you, since you’re here, about the use of this cave." She changed the subject so quickly Hoss hardly noticed it.
"What, you want to live here?"
"I was on this land when I was captured. It was long before your family settled here. I don’t have many days left and I’d like to spend them here."
"But ma’am, you got no bed, nor table..."
She cut him off. "I can live with a lot less. I can do for myself and I like the feeling of it. I don’t think your Pa and your brothers will have a problem with me staying here but I’d rather have your blessing for it."
"Well I don’t think there’s any trouble....so far anyway. There is some talk about you bein’ a witch."
The old woman smiled. "Well I’ve helped folks now and again with a bit of advice. I got some herbs around here that I’ve gathered...sometimes just listen to ‘em and they give me something for my trouble...maybe a chicken, a jug of milk. I guess they make it out to be a bigger thing than I do."
Hoss tasted the tea. It was a lot better than he was expecting. Maybe it was the honey.
"I don’t reckon anyone will mind if you stay here, long as it don’t cause too much traffic. Ain’t been a problem so far...just kind of a mystery."
"What we don’t know is always a mystery." The old lady said. She smiled at Hoss and cocked her head for a few moments looking him over. Hoss felt like he was somehow more exposed. He just sipped his tea.
"You’re a good man, Hoss", she finally said. "You have some lovely gold in your….emanation. You are kind and people love you for it."
"My what?" Hoss asked.
"Your emanation…energy from your body. It’s...it’s a glow. Everyone has one. It tells them as can see it a lot about you. I’m proud to meet you, Hoss. I haven’t seen many folks I could call kind in my travels, but you’re one of them."
*************************
Hoss was whistling as he entered the house. He was considering the woman he had met. He had felt so good spending time with her. They hardly talked about anything important but he had come away feeling happy.
"What’s up, big brother?" Joe asked, coming down the stairs.
Ben and Adam were working at the big desk, trying to balance some figures.
Hoss hung up his hat and put his gun on the sideboard. He walked around the room and did a bit of a twirl. Joe laughed and Adam and Ben looked up.
"What’s up with you Hoss?" Adam asked.
"I just wondered if anyone here could see it." Hoss replied.
"See what?" Ben asked.
"My golden glow" Hoss replied standing still and striking a pose so they could all take him in.
"What, exactly, are you talking about, ‘golden glow’?" Adam asked.
"I been out to see that ol’ woman everyone’s calling a witch...and she ain’t a witch. She’s real nice and she said I had a golden glow about me and that she could tell I was a kind feller." Hoss replied.
"Well we all know you’re kind, Hoss," Ben said, "but I don’t see any glow."
"You went out there to see her?" Adam asked. "Did you tell her to leave?"
"No, I didn’t and if you know what’s good for you, Adam, you won’t neither. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with her. She’s just a kind old lady livin’ out here days here. She was took by folks she calls the Real People when she was little and right from around here. I reckon she’s talkin about Indians. She’s been a slave most of her life and now she just wants to live by herself and have a little respect. That’s all she said and I don’t want to hear about you givin’ her no grief, Adam."
"That’s a very touching story, but we don’t need the townsfolk saying that we’re keeping a witch on the Ponderosa, especially when they think she’s causing problems."
"Who said she’s causin’ problems?" Hoss asked.
"I don’t know exactly who, Hoss. That’s the rumor." Adam replied.
"And that’s just the problem, big brother. Ain’t nothin but rumor about a kind old lady trying to enjoy the rest of her life. She’s a friend of mine and I said she could stay in that cave as long as she wants." Hoss gave Adam a look that dared his interference before continuing upstairs."
Ben watched him go and turned to Adam. "Just how many folks are talking about this...rumor, Adam?"
"I heard Becky Stassen went and got a love charm off her" Joe responded. Got it off her for a sack of flour and a couple of silver pieces."
"I’ve heard some comments in town, Pa" Adam
said. "People refer to her as the ‘Ponderosa Witch’ and the word spreads like
wildfire. I don’t know about letting her stay here. You know how folks get
about something like this. We’ll have everyone from
"Or blaming us for what went wrong. Well maybe you and I will pay her a visit and see for ourselves."
***************************
Hoss was still stepping lightly as he joined the family at the table for lunch. Ben looked him over, a frown on his face.
"Hoss, this..this woman you met..she wants to live in that old cave?" he asked, wondering how to draw out more information without generating an argument. Adam was right. They didn’t need every superstitious person in town sneaking out to the Ponderosa for a love charm or a potion. Theirs was a working ranch, not a circus.
"That’s what she said, Pa, and she ain’t hurtin’ nothin. You always let folks stay in the house. Can’t hurt nothin to have her stayin’ out there."
Ben glanced at Adam, who took the cue.
"Well, did she say anything interesting, besides turning your head with this talk of a golden glow?"
"Well Adam, she knows all about us. Knows about the ranch, about us three livin here with Pa and no ma, knows we sell timber. Knows how Pa likes to take care of the land. Said that made her feel good here and it’s part o’ why she wants to settle here for her remainin’ days. On accounta the land feels good."
"Heck Hoss" Joe added. "Everyone in town knows that. Nothing special."
"That may be." Hoss replied. "But she’s a sweet ol’ lady and she ain’t gonna do us no harm staying out there."
"Well how do you know she’s not working a scam, Hoss? Like Joe said, she didn’t tell you anything she couldn’t learn in town and if anyone can be taken in by a scam, it’s you, little brother."
"Well she did so, Adam and that’s a fact." Hoss scowled as he dug out another scoop of potatoes and smacked the spoon down on his plate.
"Don’t keep us in suspense, son. What else did she say?"
Hoss looked around the table at the suspicious eyes of his brothers and his father. He’d wanted to keep this little fact all to himself but if he shared it they would have to believe him. He remembered countless occasions when his family had doubted his word but each time he had proved himself out This time he had the proof up front. With a smug smile and a toss of his head Hoss turned loose of his special secret.
"She told me about that little birthmark I got on my...well on my side. Don’t NOBODY know about that, Adam!"
"Well that’s mostly true, Hoss, unless...well folks probably have seen it when you have your shirt off."
"Adam you just can’t believe someone might be okay if they’re a little different can you? She’s got to have some secret motive besides what she said. Well maybe someone has seen it. But nobody but Pa and you ever seen my ma kiss it! Ain’t that right?" Hoss looked back and forth between his father and older brother.
Ben’s eyebrows shot up. Hoss was right! He’d never mentioned that endearing trait of Inger’s and it had become lost in many faded memories by the time Hoss had been old enough to wonder about his mother. Marie had been more of a mother to him or at least he’d had her for longer, and the memories had blended. Ben had seen no reason to sharpen the focus over the years. Anything the boys could remember, factual or not, had brought them comfort.
Ben’s astonishment was not lost on Adam or Joe either. They both watched his expression for confirmation. The three sat considering this strange bit of news while Hoss smirked in satisfaction and ladled gravy onto his potatoes.
***************************
Adam was up early the next morning, but no earlier than his father, he observed as he approached the front door and saw Ben’s outerwear missing. ‘So much for going out there together.’ he thought to him self, momentarily annoyed. Then a smile broke across his features. ‘Guess I’m no better. I’ll let Pa have his privacy before I go see her.’
Stealth hadn’t occurred to Ben. He had found the innocuous revelation startling and wanted to find out what there was to this woman Hoss had so freely granted a place to live. His mind pondered the same objections Adam had raised but he had always welcomed those in need to the Ponderosa as well.
As he approached the cave, Ben saw that he wasn’t the only early morning caller. A buggy stood outside and he recognized the "Lazy J" brand on the single horse pulling it. So, the Judds were taking advantage of his mysterious guest. Ben dismounted and secured Buck to a tree a ways back and waited in for the buggy to pull out.
The wait gave him a few minutes to enjoy the land he loved so much. A crisp fall morning with the sunrise painting the clouds in the sky burnt orange and pink, leaves and grass still moist with the dew. The air had a bit of a nip to it, a promise of the upcoming winter but from the look of the day, that would burn off soon and it would be pleasantly warm. The lake had a hint of mist rising off its still surface and reflected all the colors of the morning, intensifying the effect.
Ben heard a noise and turned to see Millie Judd emerge from the cave, glance around furtively and then get in her buggy and turn the horse toward town at an almost breakneck pace. It might be interesting just to observe the clientele, never mind what the old woman was up to. Ben wondered what nasty little secret Millie was fleeing.
He stood for a moment longer considering his approach. Suddenly the old woman was in the clearing below him, beckoning to him. She was looking right at him. Ben had left his horse back a ways and approached foot. How had he given his presence away? Slowly he made his way down the slope toward the cave opening, his thoughts jumbled.
"It’s a beautiful morning isn’t it, sir, but a bit chilly. Come in by my fire, where it’s warm. I don’t have coffee but I have some lovely tea,"
Ben reached his hand out to her. "My name is Ben Cartwright. How do you do?"
The old woman took the hand he offered and clasped it with both of hers. "I know who you are. I met your wonderful son yesterday."
The old woman stood there holding his hand firmly in hers and closed her eyes. Ben stood watching her for a moment and it became awkward. What was she doing holding on to his hand that way. Just as suddenly she let go and headed toward the cave.
"Come in and sit for a few moments. Your other boy is waiting."
"My..what? My other...."
"The older one. He thinks very much like you do."
Ben shook his head abruptly wondering if there were cobwebs invading his thoughts. This woman did have an unusual manner. He had come alone but it was true that Adam and he thought alike. No wonder Hoss had been taken in by her.
"I...my son Hoss....he told me something startling and I’m curious about it Miss..er...what should I call you?"
"I am called Grandmother."
"I feel kind of funny calling a perfect stranger ‘Grandmother’"
"I’m not perfect and I’m not really a stranger either. We are all members of a grand family."
"Well that may be, but I..I..." Ben’s voice trailed off. He didn’t want to lose track of the purpose of his visit.
"You were surprised by what your son said...your Hoss." The old woman was staying on track better than he could! And she didn’t hesitate. She spoke in statements and seemed to stay one jump ahead of him.
"Yes I..I..that was a very...private...er nobody knew about it besides me and possible his older brother."
"No, that’s not true." the old woman said. "He knew about it. Maybe it wasn’t in his memory, but he knew."
Ben looked up sharply. "But he didn’t...he..."
"He didn’t tell me. I could tell. Sometimes I can. I can tell what you’ve been through. You’ve overcome most of it...made your peace with it."
"Well, yes I think I have."
"But it left its mark and it made you the man you are."
"I think that’s true of all of us Mis...Grandmother."
"Yea...our lives shape us. I have learned to see from afar. I see things that some don’t know they share."
"Yes, I can tell that you do." Ben wasn’t feeling as much anxiety about the old woman’s presence on the Ponderosa. She really did seem to be the kind woman Hoss had described rather than a secretive old witch woman. His thoughts went back to the hasty, surreptitious departure of Millie Judd. He formed a question but again Grandmother spoke before the words left his lips.
"I have no truck with evil. But I won’t betray a confidence either."
Ben marveled at the old woman’s capacity to read his thoughts. He swirled the tea around in his cup. She was right, it was lovely tea even for a coffee drinker like himself. He swallowed the rest of it down and got up to leave.
"No, you just wait there, young man. I have a little story for you...maybe it will put your mind at rest about me. Just have a little more of this tea and there’s even a muffin to go with it."
Ben smiled to think of someone considering him a ‘young man’. The old woman went over to a small rock Ben had failed to notice and took something out of a basket. To his surprise, it was still warm to the touch. ‘Millie must have brought these out this very morning.’ He thought as he took a bite and settled in to hear what the old woman would say.
************************
Hoss wandered downstairs following the enticing breakfast smells, fully expecting to see his father and at least his older brother at the table. The dining room was deserted. He went into the kitchen and found Hop Sing busily preparing breakfast and muttering about the unappreciative people he worked for.
"Mornin’ Hop Sing. Where’d everybody go?" Hoss got a cup and reached for the coffee pot.
"You stay out of kitchen. Hop Sing get!" He chased Hoss back into the dining room."Mista Ben, Mista Adam leave velly early."
"Where’d they go? Did they say?"
"No. No go together. First Mista Ben. Then Mista Adam. Nobody want food. I cook and cook, nobody eat!"
"Ah calm down, Hop Sing. I’ll eat..and I’ll get Joe to help me. You won’t hardly even notice that they ain’t here."
Hop Sing returned to the kitchen and Hoss went upstairs to see if Joe had left as well. As usual, he was buried in covers getting the last possible second of sleep.
"Come on, Joe. Get up. "
"Ah Hoss. Go on. It’s early. Let me sleep just..." Joe peeked at the sunlight coming in his window..."just a few more minutes, huh?"
"No, it’s time to get up and anyhow I need some help."
"Help?" Joe mumbled into his pillow, pulling the covers over his head. "It’s too early to need help."
"Come on, Joe. I been there for you hundreds a times. I’m just callin’ in a favor now."
Joe realized he wasn’t tired - it was more the principal of the thing. He rolled over and sat up, digging the sleep out of his eyes. "Okay, big brother. What’s the problem?"
"Well you remember that ol’ woman I was tellin’ you about yesterday?"
"That spooky ol’ lady that told you the private stuff? Sure. What about her?"
"She ain’t spooky Joe. She’s a nice old lady and I told her she could stay here and I think Pa and Adam got up and went out there to run her off. I stood by you against Pa before. Now I’m asking you to help me out on her account."
"I don’t mind helping you, Hoss, but getting up at the crack of dawn for some witchy woman is different."
Joe started to work his way back into the covers with a twinkle in his eye. Hoss grabbed them off the bed.
"Come on Joe. Ain’t no time for foolin’ around. I wanna make sure they don’t give her no trouble."
"What’s the big deal with the lady, Hoss? How come you’re so interested in her?"
"You heard what I said last night, Joe. He’s a kind old lady and she ain’t never had nothing good in her whole life. No reason she can’t take up a little ol piece of the Ponderosa for a couple of years."
"You don’t have to be so touchy, big brother. I’ll come out there. Was it true? Did she really say stuff that nobody ever knew before?"
"I done told you all just what she said. Pa and Adam think it’s some kind of trick. It wasn’t worth makin’ into a trick. She just knows some stuff that nobody has a way of knowin’ and I like hearin’ her talk."
"Hey Hoss, you don’t think....do you..well maybe she would tell me something like she told you?"
"I guess you ain’t gonna know that unless you come on up there with me, little brother."
************************
Adam watched his father emerge from the cave and walk to where he had tethered Buck. He didn’t look around at all. He appeared to be lost in thought. Adam waited till he was out of the clearing and strode in the direction of the cave. Just as he approached the entrance, the old woman appeared.
"You’re all business. No time for small talk or tea."
Adam was startled at her appearance. He had expected to surprise her, not the other way around.
“I...I’m Adam Cartwright."
"Yes. The oldest son. I know. Come in, at least. We can talk in comfort"
Adam followed the old woman into the cave but before he could voice his concerns she turned and said, "You can’t save him from his feelings, you know."
Adam took the seat the old woman indicated and tried to pull his thoughts together. "Hoss is a very kind individual. People have taken advantage of him before."
"Yes they have, and they will again." she said. "And you have no more right to protect him from his experiences than she had to protect you from yours. "
Although no name was spoken, Adam knew who the old woman meant. After all these years her memory still took Adam’s breath away. If he hadn’t been sitting he suspected he would have lost his footing. He hadn’t allowed her image to surface in his mind since she had left.
Adam looked up into the kind eyes of the old woman. He had recovered a little but not enough to carry on a conversation. It didn’t matter to her. Hoss was right. There was more to this woman than he had first thought.
"You know...she meant the same thing for you."
"She meant...." Adam was somewhat confused, his mind still in the past.
"She thought she knew what was best for you and what you needed. You never got a chance to make a decision on that. Now you’re doing the same kind of thing where your brother is concerned."
"What are you referring to?"
"The...circumstances of her departure. She left to protect you. But she didn’t tell you. She left to protect you and your family and you never had a say."
"Why don’t you tell me the rest of what you know, and maybe while you’re at it, why you know it?" Adam approached this topic cautiously. The pain was long buried and she was digging a knife into the center of it.
The woman poked and prodded at her fire for a few moments considering offering a cup of tea but she knew her guest was impatient and would refuse the offer. She would indulge him and have hers later. She resumed her place across the fire from Adam and looked directly into his eyes.
"She left to spare you embarrassment. She was with child."
Adam blanched. He rocked forward looking at the ground hoping to conceal his face. He inhaled deeply and was once again grateful he was sitting. Swiftly the old woman continued, her voice helping him to reorganize his thoughts.
"I know it wasn’t you." She replied to his unspoken comment. "It was the result of force but she knew you would take the burden...your family would take the burden. She thought that would be wrong. She has made a pleasant life among....some sisters."
Seeing Adam’s distress, the old woman busied herself with the tea. It seemed her guest could do with something after all. She at a cup down in front of him and walked by giving his shoulder a squeeze. "You must let others have their own feelings in their own time. You can’t protect them for their own good." She walked outside giving Adam time and space away from her..the opportunity to assimilate his knowledge and compose himself before leaving.
***********************
Ben stood in a clearing and gazed at the lake.
The inverted portrait of the fall day now smeared as a breeze danced on its
surface. Ripples and currents but nothing like the sea. Nothing like the turmoil of the great
How could that old woman have known. Ben himself had scarcely remembered. She had not even mentioned the name, but he knew. Only 12 and small for his age. Ben was nearest in age, on his first real voyage, 15 himself. Timmy had taken Ben’s place as a cabin boy but he was as awkward a sailor as Ben was sure of himself.
He hadn’t come on board of his own volition either. Orphaned and trying to survive on his own, he had been saved by Captain Stoddard from prison for stealing. He hadn’t been a good sailor and the captain had released him from any duty because he could barely function. Once away from the protection of the captain, poor Timmy had become a toy to some of the rougher men. First it was taunting for his poor seamanship. Soon they progressed to abusing him, his slight form evoking memories of ladies left behind.
Ben remembered the sickly look of the boy when he had confided in him originally. He was pale and dark bruises marked his skin where forceful fingers had insisted on his compliance. Timmy was leaning against the side of the ship, his small fingers even whiter than the rest of his skin in their death grip on the rail. He turned his tear-stained face towards Ben in response to his cheery greeting and returned his gaze to the water.
Ben had tried to reassure the boy that his intervention with Captain Stoddard would prevent the men from continuing with their sport. He offered Timmy room in his own quarters but the boy wouldn’t budge. When he came on watch again and heard the awful news, Ben regretted that he hadn’t taken action immediately...let it wait until it was convenient. He had resolved never to let problems linger again but that hadn’t helped Timmy.
It was a long-buried memory and one that he had never shared with anyone. But the old woman had known. And she was right. It had left its mark on him. His interaction with Timmy had gone a long way to shape his nature when he had children of his own. Her words had even softened the guilt he had carried these long years. Timmy had chosen his escape before he had ever spoken to Ben.
**********************
"Hey, this ain’t bad." Little Joe looked around the cave. It didn’t have many furnishings but it felt cozy and welcoming.
"It’s good to see you. You’re not so small." The old woman’s eyes were twinkling.
"Naw, it’s just a habit...they always call me that." Joe seemed to expand just a bit in every direction.
"All of you so different and all with the same core running through you."
"So..did you meet up with our Pa then? And big brother Adam?" Hoss was anxious to correct any damage that might have been done.
"Yea, we had good talk."
"So they didn’t...didn’t..." Hoss was unsure of the words he wanted to use.
"Hoss, you said it would be fine to stay here. They didn’t say differently."
Hoss released the breath he hadn’t been aware of holding. "Well that’s just fine then. Me and my little brother here’s on our way to town. Maybe we can pick something up for you, huh."
"Not so fast, brother. Maybe I’d like to talk a spell, get acquainted." Joe had been reluctant to make this trip but now that he was here he wanted to know more. He was especially hoping she might tell him a special kind of secret like she had done for Hoss.
"Your company is welcome but I’ve promised to meet a new life coming into this world. She’ll be here soon and my walk is slow. We’ll talk again, yea."
"Come on, little brother. Let’s get that chore over with...get back before Pa sets up a ruckus about us bein’ gone."
"It was nice to meet you, ma’am." Joe reluctantly backed toward the opening.
"Grandmother" she corrected.
"Grandmother, then." Joe smiled and walked out with Hoss.
**********************
Adam rode in the same direction his father had taken. He was shaken. He didn’t know if he wanted to share his new insights or let the wound heal back over as quickly as possible.
He was deep in thought and letting Sport find his own way when his father’s voice startled him back to reality. He looked around and first noticed Buck poking around the edge of the lake for any edible remnants. He raised his eyes and saw his father near the bank, partially obscured by a tree.
"So you’ve been to see her too, huh? She’s a remarkable woman".
Adam scowled. Suddenly everyone was reading minds.
"What makes you so sure?" he asked his father.
"I expect she...touched a nerve for you, as she did for me. You aren’t watching where you’re going. You didn’t even see me until I hollered."
Adam dismounted and joined Ben on the bank.
"You know how Hoss gets taken in. I just wanted to make sure..." Adam trailed off reflecting.
"I had the same plan but she kind of...well she turned it back on me, and I expect she did the same to you, son."
"How does she know this stuff, Pa? Stuff nobody
knows." Adam kept so much to himself. He had tried to mask his feelings but
he knew his family had seen his torment when
"I don’t know, son.
*************************
"Well,
"The end of the harvest is always a fine
time to celebrate," Ben said, "part of the
"I don’t think it will be long before
"Ain’t they been having’ them thanksgiving days all along? Since them pilgrims came along anyhow?" Hoss wasn’t strong on history but was always willing to participate in a celebration, especially when it involved food and to the best of his recollection, that was the memory he had of the pilgrims..celebrating that they had enough food set aside to get them through the year.
"Here’s the part about the actual day....I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or suffers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidable engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union.’
"I think we should observe that. There is so much we have to be thankful for here on the Ponderosa. Let’s talk to Hop Sing and see what we can do to make it a special day." Ben said.
"Hey how about Grandmother...she...she’s kind of an orphan isn’t she? Lost her parents a long time ago and now she’s all by herself. She’s been real good to folks. Maybe we could have her celebrate with us". Joe
"That’s a wonderful idea, Joe. Maybe you and Hoss can ride out and let her know."
"Pa, I’ll sure do that. But...I been thinkin’..it just don’t seem right...leavin’ her out in the cold all winter. Do you....what do you think about...I mean...we got a lot of room and..."
"I think I understand what you mean, Hoss, and I agree. She’s lived her whole life outdoors. I’m sure we can find a way to make her comfortable here."
*******************************
"I just hate to think of you stayin out here all by yourself with the snow and the wind...we got room - Pa’s always puttin’ guests up...maybe just for the coldest part of the winter."
"This is as good as I’ve ever had, Hoss, yea...I am out of the worst of the weather but I can feel it on my skin. I will stay."
"How bout this here....this Thanksgiving thing? You could come for supper couldn’t you?"
"I will come, Hoss. Yea, I have much to be thankful for."
"We’ll come and get you, Grandmother. We’ll bring a buggy or if there’s snow, a sleigh.." Joe was looking forward to the day already. Maybe she would finally tell him something special like she had Pa and his brothers.
"Nay, young man. I’ll walk and enjoy it since I can. It will give me time to consider my blessings. I will come."
**********************
The morning was cold and clear. Grandmother could see little puffs of her breath as she walked. She had never been to this fine house but it was always a joy to walk in the fresh air. After years of outdoor living there was almost no time to think as her senses enjoyed the preparations the world was making for the upcoming winter.
The lake was still and the water looked almost black. Almost freezing, but not quite. The scent of the pines was faint but noticeable in the cold air. The sun would enhance the smell later in the day. Curled leaves and soft needles carpeted the trail. She caught sight of a hare bounding away, his coat partially brown, partially white. The scent of wood smoke guided her steps for several minutes long before the house came into view.
**********************
"Well, come in, come in! I’m so glad you’re here. "Ben opened the door. "Here let me take that." and relieved Grandmother of her burden. "What is this? What have you brought?"
"This is..I don’t know the word. It’s like pudding. It is a food the Real People have at their celebrations. It is made with ground corn and I sweetened this with honey to make it taste more like your food. It is cooked for many hours. All night it cooked. It is right that I contribute also."
"I’m sure we’ll be glad to have it. But it wasn’t necessary for you to bring anything. Come have a seat. Would you like tea?"
"Coffee will be nice. It smells wonderful."
"So tell me," Ben said, "your moccasins. I’ve seen moccasins before but...never with the fur on the bottom like that."
"These are for snow walking. The fur going in that direction - prevents slipping. The snow will be here soon. Tonight or tomorrow."
Joe walked over and looked at the moccasins.
"Did you do that beadwork also, Mis...Grandmother?"
"Yes, that is a friendship basket."
"Don’t look like no basket I ever saw." Hoss wrinkled his nose and tried to see how anyone could see a basket in the design. "Looks like just some zigs and zags to me."
Before Grandmother could explain, Hop Sing called the family to the table. Ben guided Grandmother to her place and the others took their seats. Ben remained standing.
"We have always enjoyed the harvest time.
A time to put aside our hard work and enjoy the fruits of our efforts. This
year we join the
As Ben sat, Grandmother rose and spoke.
"I know of this war but I am not thankful about war in any way. Freedom has a much different meaning to me. It is so recently I achieved my freedom and with it came a price. I am free but I have no people. I have few possessions but I learned long ago to live simply. I am grateful for that gift. I am thankful that the Great God, yea, for the bounty of the earth. I am thankful too, that all creatures on this earth do each their part - the four-legged ones, the winged ones, those that creep and crawl, those that swim in the waters, the trees, the rocks the wind; all have helped me. They have become my people. Those who have gone before, I have learned from them and I am thankful."
Joe spoke quickly as Grandmother returned to her seat. "I hope you don’t feel so alone now, Grandmother. We’d sure like to have you think of us as your people, isn’t that right?"
Joe looked around. Ben was watching Grandmother’s face and didn’t respond to Joe’s question at all. It was almost like he hadn’t heard.
"You bet we are." Hoss had been the old lady’s champion from the very first moment.
Joe looked back and forth between his father and older brother. Adam’s head was bowed and his attention hadn’t wavered from his plate. Joe knew that Grandmother had said something to them that had changed the way they viewed her but he didn’t know what it could be.
"Well, let’s get started on this..Hop Sing has outdone himself." Ben took a platter of roast pork and forked a slice of meat onto his plate and passed it to Adam.
"If you like fried sweet potatoes, Grandmother, you better get ‘em quick. Don’t wait for them to pass by Hoss." Joe nudged Grandmother gently and winked at Hoss.
"Don’t you pay him any mind." Hoss was used to the teasing and it broke the gentle tension all were feeling at the table. "Matter of fact, I’ll put some on your plate for you right now. You just tell me when to stop."
********************
It was near dusk as Grandmother was putting on her heavy winter coat.
"It looks like that snow you were talking about is on it’s way" Ben said looking out the door. "Are you sure you wouldn’t rather even spend one night here and go home in the morning? We have a room you can have all to yourself."
"In my memory I have never slept under a roof. It would confine me. And this will be a heavy snow. It looks light and although it is the first of the season it will stay. I have things I must do."
"I’d like to see you home, if you don’t mind." Joe said.
"I’ll join you, little brother." Hoss was already donning his coat. The three of them went out together.
"You’ll need a lantern to see your way home or you’ll be staying the night with me." Grandmother said once they were outside. Although it wasn’t yet dark, Hoss got a lantern from the barn. As they waited in the yard Joe thought about his brothers and how they had all heard a special secret from Grandmother.
"There isn’t anything you could tell me is there Grandmother? Something about my past...some little special thing?"
Grandmother smiled at Joe. "As young as you are, your life is ahead of you, not in the past."
Hoss walked up with the lantern and the moment of privacy was lost. "Looks like we’re ready to go."
*********************
The walk back to the cave was pleasant and the conversation cheerful but the sky had darkened and snow was falling heavily by the time they reached the cave.
They went inside and Grandmother blew on the embers of her well-banked fire. As she added kindling the flames grew brighter illuminating a good store of firewood. Joe looked around the cave, impressed once again at the simple way the old lady had all she needed but nothing extra. As he watched her walk around he noticed that her feet were bare.
"Grandmother, aren’t your feet cold? Where are your moccasins?"
"Nay, I like the feel of the earth. It’s only when I walk for distance that I use them. I slip them off when I enter the cave."
Joe looked where she pointed and saw them wondering how she had slipped out of them without slowing down. He wanted to ask about the story of the friendship basket she had mentioned when he first saw the moccasins but his thoughts were interrupted by an exclamation from Hoss.
"Boy I didn’t think it was gonna snow like this. C’mon little brother. I think Grandmother was right. Won’t be long before we won’t see to get home if we don’t get a move on right away."
Hoss had lit the lantern from Grandmother’s fire.
"He speaks true Joe. It will be a storm soon. It has waited long in the season and now must make up that time." Grandmother had put a pan full of water on her two charred rocks in the fire pit to heat for tea and was smiling in her cozy cave as Hoss and Joe headed for home.
"I don’t like thinking of her staying there all by herself, Hoss. ‘Specially after what she said about not having any people."
“I know what you mean, little brother, but it ain’t gonna do no good to try and change her mind. I been after her since I met her. She ain’t never lived in a house - least not that she can remember. She’s lived like this her whole life and you ain’t never worried before so I don’t reckon there’s no call for it now."
"That’s true enough." Joe agreed.
Snowflakes were falling faster and a wind had picked up and was swirling them around. Hoss increased his pace till Joe was hard pressed to keep up. The footprints they had made between the house and the cave were all they could use as a landmark and they were growing fainter as the storm increased. He was more relieved than he would show when the familiar lights of home finally appeared through the snow.
The boys went into he house stamping snow off their boots, watching clumps dissolve into puddles and vanish as they shed their outerwear.
"Looks like Grandmother was right about the storm, eh boys?" Ben was relieved to see them back. "Come on over by the fire and warm up. Did she get home alright?"
"Yeah, we seen her home alright - if you can call it that." Hoss said. "I hate to think of her out there, almost in the middle of it and nothin to really protect her from it if the wind kicks up any more than it has. I reckon I’ll go on over and see her in the morning." he added.
In the morning Hoss looked out the window but all he could see was swirling white. The barn wasn’t visible from the house. They would have to care for the stock but no one would be able to leave the house safely in weather like that. The old woman occupied his thoughts throughout that day and the next.
After two full days of intense blizzard, the sky cleared and the wind abated. The world was so clear and bright with the sun on the snow, it hurt his eyes to look outside. As soon as his initial chores were done, Hoss announced to his family that he was off to see how Grandmother had fared in the storm. Hop Sing packed some special treats for the old lady. He had grown fond of her as well.
"I’m coming with you, Hoss" Joe said, entering the barn. "Hand me a pair of those, will you?" He asked Hoss who was strapping on snowshoes.
The trip to the cave, although slower than normal in the snowshoes was much faster than it had been in the dark swirling snow. Hoss stopped several times and sniffed the air, subtly relieved at the smell of wood smoke. When they were more than halfway to the cave, it began to occur to him the smell was fading. They were smelling the fire of the Ponderosa. He picked up his pace.
Hoss felt a wrench hin his gut as the cave came into view. There was no smoke and the snow around it was undisturbed. No one - or no thing had been in the cave since the snow stopped falling. He glanced at Joe and then made his way to the opening.
"Grandmother?" he called. He looked around the dim interior of the cave. There was no fire but he had known that for the last hour or so. He walked further into the interior of the cave.
"Hoss, look here" Joe said. "This is right where she kicked those moccasins off. She’s got to be here somewhere."
He joined Hoss inside the cave and they looked around. In the dimness it was not possible to see anything out of the ordinary. Hoss poked at the fire. Although he knew the old lady could conserve her embers, there was no sign of heat. It was dead. He wished he had thought to bring the lantern.
"Joe, I can’t see well enough in here...I guess we’ll need a fire anyhow...bring me some of that wood over there would you? And look around..I ain’t seen her but she’s gotta be here somewhere."
They soon had a fire going in the fire pit and it lit up the interior of the cave. There was no doubt...the old lady wasn’t there.
"Where could she be, Hoss? Her moccasins were right where she left them when we brought her home."
"I can’t figure it." Hoss went around the interior of the cave, through the old lady’s meager belongings. He found the pan she had set on the charred rocks for tea and picked it up. Underneath he found a rabbit skin. He picked it up. It had something on it. He brought it over closer to the light.
"Joseph, you better come take a look at this." Hoss held the skin up.
Joe took the skin from Hoss and looked at it. There was no mistaking his likness. But how did she know about his other brother? How could she capture Clay’s likeness - had she ever even seen him? To have a brother - a connection with is mother and then to lose him. Did this mean he would return? Joe had to force himself to breathe. What was it she has said to him? ‘Your life is ahead of you, not in the past.’
She had truly given them all a very special gift.
The End