Half of
Nothing, All of Everything
Adam
strummed lightly on his guitar while Ben watched from the red chair where he
sat. Hoss was perched on the settee with
his head leaned back against the headrest.
Little Joe was sitting on the hearth with his elbows propped on his
knees and his chin resting in his open hands.
He sighed deeply, drawing his father’s attention.
Ben
casually glanced at his youngest son and noted the sad expression in the hazel
eyes. For several long moments, while
the soft music played in the background, Ben kept his dark eyes focused on
Joe’s expression.
Adam
swept his long slender fingers down the strings one final time and the music
stopped.
“How
was that?” he asked.
Ben
smiled at Adam and nodded his head.
“That
was very nice, Adam. Is that a new
song?”
“Yes,
I heard it while I was down in
“Well,
you certainly did a good job,” Ben praised.
“Joe, did you like it?” Ben asked while turning his attention to the boy
who seemed lost in thought.
Joe
raised his head, letting his wind escaped slowly from his lungs. He glanced at his father for a brief moment
and then turned to Adam.
“It
was sorta sad…but nice,” Joe said without any expression resounding in his
tone. “Pa, I think I’m going to turn in,
I’m bushed,” Joe said, standing to his feet and stretching. He covered his mouth to stifle a yawn.
Ben
seemed surprised for it was the third night in a row that Joe had used the same
excuse.
“Son,
are you sure you’re feeling well? You’ve
been to bed early every night this week…that isn’t like you at all.”
Joe
stopped, twisting up his lips in a smirk.
“I’m fine…honest Pa…I’m just tired, that’s all. Can I be excused?” His tone was almost pleading.
“Certainly,
I’ll be up shortly to say good night,” Ben said.
“Night
Pa, night Adam, night Hoss,” Joe called over his shoulder as he slowly began to
climb the stairs.
“Night
Joe,” Adam called, watching his father watch Joe’s retreating back.
“Sleep
well, short shanks,” Hoss called as he finally raised his head.
He
noted Ben’s expression and couldn’t help but follow Ben’s gaze. Hoss turned to look up, just as Joe rounded
the corner of the hall and disappeared out of sight.
“What’s
with him?” Adam said, drawing Ben’s attention from the top of the stairs.
“Yeah,
Joe ain’t been him self for better’n a week now,” Hoss added.
Ben
sighed deeply and shook his head. He
picked up his pipe and prepared it for a smoke.
“I
don’t know. He’s been unusually quite
and somewhat withdrawn. It makes me
think that he’s got something on his mind that’s bothering him. Has he said anything to either of you?” Ben
questioned.
“No…in
fact, he’s hardly said more than a few words to me,” Adam commented.
“He
ain’t said much to me either. Fact
is…it’s sorta been nice, not havin’ the kid yappin’ ‘bout somethin’ all the time,”
chuckled Hoss.
“I’ll
agree with that,” Adam said in a soft voice but then was quick to add, “ Still, it’s not like Joe.
Pa, do you want me to talk to him…maybe see if he’ll tell me what’s
going on?”
Ben
took a long drag on his pipe and gently blew the smoke from his lungs. “I’ll have a word with him later. If he doesn’t open up, then I’ll let you have
a go at it.”
Ben
stood to his feet, “guess I’d better go say good night. If he’s as tired as he claims, he’ll be
asleep before his head hits the pillow,” Ben said with a smile as he headed for
his youngest son’s room.
Ben
was right in his thinking; by the time he’d made it to Joe’s room Joe was
curled into a ball sleeping. The covers
had already been kicked to the foot of the bed where over half lay in a pile on
the floor. Ben smiled at the sight and
gathered the disarrayed blankets from the floor and spread them smoothly atop
the boy. Joe turned over and settled
himself, stretching out beneath the warmth of the covers.
Ben
leaned down and softly placed a kiss atop Joe’s mass of unruly curls and then
turned, pausing long enough to lower the wick in the lamp before quietly
closing the door behind him.
By
the next morning, Joe seemed much like his former self as he slid into his
place at the table. He turned to his
father and smiled.
“Morning
Pa…morning Hoss, hey Adam,” he greeted each one by name.
Adam
cast a sideways glance at Hoss and then returned the greeting.
“’Bout
time you got up,” he grinned.
“Yeah
short shanks, what’s with ya…first to bed last night, last to the table this
mornin’,” chuckled Hoss.
“All
right boys, leave your brother alone,” smiled Ben the minute he saw Joe’s smile
leave his face. “Joseph, you will need
to hurry a little, I don’t want you late for school this morning.”
“All
right Pa,” Joe smiled weakly as he glanced at his brothers.
Joe
turned his attention back to his father who was just finishing his coffee.
“Pa…you
did mean what you said…the other day, right?
I mean…you won’t go back on your word, will you?” Joe asked
hesitantly.
Ben
lowered his head slightly as he glanced at Hoss and then Adam. He tried not to smile when he looked up and
saw the large hazel eyes watching his face.
“That
depends son, just what did I promise you? I don’t remember making a promise,” Ben said.
“PA!”
stammered Joe, causing his brothers to burst out laughing. Joe turned angry eyes their way. “Shut up!” he shouted, his anger apparent on
his young face.
“Joseph! That will be enough!” Ben snapped, placing
his coffee cup down so that it clanged lightly with the china saucer. “There’s no need for that tone of voice!”
“Make
them stop laughing at me!” growled Joe as he shoved back his chair. “They’re just like everyone else…always
making fun of me!” he barked as he turned on his heels and headed for the door.
“Joseph…you
stop right there, young man, and get back here!” ordered Ben, giving Hoss and
Adam a dark, warning look.
They
had stopped their laughing and were staring in wonder at their younger
brother. Joe paused in his tracks but
refused to turn around and face his father who by this time had rounded the
corner of the table and stood slightly behind the younger boy.
“Joseph,
turn around…please,” Ben issued in a milder tone.
Joe
gulped and slowly did as his father had asked.
He stood before Ben with his head low, fighting back the tears that
threatened to spill forth.
Ben
gently guided Joe’s chin upward. He was
surprised to see the anger had vanished and had been replaced with a sad,
downcast expression. His heart softened
at the sight of his son’s unhappy countenance.
“Would
you please explain this sudden outburst of anger?” Ben said calmly.
Joe’s
eyes sought his father’s face. Seeing
that the anger was no longer present, Joe swallowed.
“Them…they’re
always making fun of me…I hate it,” Joe said barely above a whisper. He swallowed again, hoping to remove the
thickness in his throat. “They treat me
like I was a little boy…and I’m not.”
Ben
smiled slightly at Joe. “No…you are not
a little boy, but sometimes, such as now, you act like a little boy…”
Joe’s
face twisted into a frown and he pulled away from the hand that so gently
cupped his chin. He took a step or two
backward, swallowing away the sudden hurt that had washed over him. He had expected his father to take up for
him, but Ben’s words had only added to his growing disappointment in his
family.
“Joseph,”
Ben said quickly, knowing that he had caused the sudden change in his son’s expression. “Joe…why don’t you tell me what is going
on? I know something has been bothering
you?”
Adam
and Hoss had quietly gotten up from the table and were standing slightly behind
their father.
Joe
glanced over his father’s shoulders at his brothers and frowned. “I dun told ya,” he said, pointing at Adam
and Hoss. “Them…”
Adam
moved to his father’s side and glanced at Ben and then again at Joe. “We didn’t mean anything, Joe…for heaven’s
sake, we were just teasing you and…”
Joe’s
chin began to quiver and he feared he might cry. His anger rose again as he glared at his
oldest brother.
“That’s
just it…I’m sick of your teasing, I’m sick of always being the butt of your
jokes…and I’m sick of…you!” he practically shouted as he turned and ran from
the house.
Ben
stood in shocked silence at the outburst until the sound of the slamming door
woke him from his stupor.
“Why
that little…” he bellowed but stopped when Adam placed his hand on his arm.
“Pa…Joe’s
right, I suppose Hoss and I have been ragging the boy more than usual. I’m sorry, I’ll talk to him and apologize,”
Adam promised.
“Yeah, me too,
Ben
let out a long sigh. “No, most times he
just takes it in stride.” Ben turned to
face both boys. “Something else is
eating at him, your teasing him has nothing to do with the real problem.”
“Maybe
he’ll open up to me…I think I’ll meet him after school and ride home with him,”
Adam suggested. “Right now I have work to do.” Adam
started to put on his gun and holster. Hoss did the same.
“Pa…about that promise you made to Joe…are you still going to let him
quit school after this term?”
Ben
pinched his lips tightly and shook his head.
“I was going too…but when he acts like this, I’m not sure if I should or
not…”
“Aw
Pa, Ya cain’t go back on your word…” began Hoss.
“I
have no intention of breaking my promise, Hoss.
Joe is more than ready to take on the responsibilities of working full
time on this ranch. It’s just that at
times, I’m not sure of his maturity in handling his temper.” Ben chuckled softly. “He’s so much like his mother…she had a
temper too, you know,” smiled Ben, remembering.
Adam
glanced at Hoss and smiled. “I remember
“So
do I…barely,” Hoss grinned.
“Well,
you boys get to work…Adam, I think it’s a good idea,
you meeting your brother after school, thank you…and good luck. I have to ride over to
“Sure
thing, Pa…we’ll see you tonight, come on Hoss,” Adam said as he headed out the
door.
Joe
pulled his mount to a halt in front of the schoolhouse. He was earlier than on most mornings and the
yard was empty of any other children.
Joe led Cochise to the small stable where they kept their horses during
the school hours and began to remove his saddle.
“Well,
what’ll know…there’s the little twerp,” laughed a voice from the dark corner of
the stable.
Joe
spun around, startled, thinking that he was alone in the dark little barn. He instantly recognized the familiar voice
and inside, his stomach started churning.
There was no doubt in his mind that he was facing a showdown, for he had
been warned.
“I
thought we told ya not to come back…we don’t want ya kind here,” growled the
other boy as he emerged from the shadows.
He was joined, on either side, by two more boys who were both larger
built than Joe was.
“My
kind,” snapped Joe, spacing himself from the trio. “Just what is my kind?”
Joe
knew he was bargaining for a fight, but he didn’t really care. For weeks now, these same three boys had
deemed it their right to make his life miserable and Joe was to the point of
wanting the matter settled, one way or the other.
His
father had promised him that if he finished the year with good grades, he could
quit school and work full time on the ranch with his brothers. Joe had been more than pleased with the idea,
for it was no secret that he hated school, unlike his brother Adam, who had
always loved going, so much so that he had left home for three years to go back
east to college. Joe had missed his
brother, almost to the point of becoming angry with Adam for going away. Joe
could not fully understand his brother’s longing for knowledge, for Joe’s only
desire was to live his life peacefully, on the Ponderosa and become one of the
best horsemen around.
The
only things standing in his way were the three young men who stood before
him. The three were brothers, full
brothers, not half-brothers such as he and Hoss and Adam were. The three had recently moved into the area
and had started school, mid-way of the term.
They had singled Joe out the first day.
Once they learned who he was, who his family was and learned the known
facts about their lives, the three had since that day, tried to make Joe’s life
a living hell.
Dan,
Bobby, and Cody were seventeen, sixteen, and fifteen, respectfully. They were bigger built, more muscular, and
all three had bad attitudes, which warranted them the respect of the other boys
in the class. The trio was a force to
reckon with, and everyone else gave them their space, avoiding them at all cost,
except Joe, who refused to be bullied by either one or all of them.
“Ya
know what you’re kind is, Cartwright,” smirked Dan, the oldest of the
brothers. “Ya nothin’ more than a
half-breed…ya pa’s a dirty blue-bellied Yankee and your ma was nothin’ but a
French-Creole whore…everyone in town knows…”
Dan’s
words were cut short by the left hook that shattered his nose. Blood spurted outward and covered the front
of the boy’s shirt. Dan fell backwards,
screaming out in pain at his brothers.
“Get’em,”
he screeched.
Bobby
and Cody jumped Joe, knocking him to the ground by the weight of their
bodies. Joe groaned when he hit the
ground, feeling the wind knocked from his lungs as he did so. Fists began pounding him, striking him on all
parts of his body. He turned trying to
protect himself, unable to fight back as the onslaught of bombarding fists
hammered away at his flesh.
Dan
had managed to stagger to his feet and had joined his brothers. The toe of his boot connected with Joe’s ribs
and Joe cried out, feeling the bones snap in his ribcage. His stomach took the
next kick forcing Joe to curl into a ball as his arms folded tightly around his
middle and leaving his sides open for more abuse.
Joe
heard the brothers’ laughter and felt the solid punch to his kidneys as Cody
stood to his feet. Bobby still straddled
Joe, leaning his head low to Joe’s ear so that his words could not be mistaken.
“Go
home half-breed, go back to that half-family ya half of!” laughed Bobby. “Half Yankee, half whore, half-brothers…hell,
ya ain’t more than half of nuthin, and ya’ll never be more than half a man!”
Bobby
stood to his feet and grinned at his older brother, Dan.
“Ya
heard us Cartwright…go home and if’n ya smart, ya’ll
not show ya face around here again. Stay
away from this here school, ya place is back on that ranch of your pa’s,
working like a hired hand. Ya got no
need for education, ya too dumb to learn…just like
that half-wit brother…what’s his name…Horse?” snickered Dan.
Joe,
who still lay in a heap on the ground, turned his head sideways, glaring at the
trio. “Someday, I’ll make you eat those
words,” he groaned.
The
three burst out laughing. “Sure
Cartwright, when ya think ya man enough, look me up, I won’t be hard to find.”
Dan
turned to his brothers, “Come on, we don’t wanna be late for class,” he
snickered as he wiped the drying blood from his face with the handkerchief he
pulled from his back pocket.
The
three turned and left Joe to himself.
Joe waited until he was alone in the stable and slowly staggered to his
feet. He leaned heavily onto the post
nearest him and moaning softly turned to his horse. Joe guided Cochise from the stall where he
had just stabled the horse and led his mount out into the bright morning sun. Painfully, Joe mounted up, noting that the
schoolyard had begun to fill with children.
He turned his mount toward home and kicked gently at Cochise’s
sides. The school bell rang, but Joe did
not look back. He had to get away, not
only did his aching body need rest, so did his weary mind. Halfway home, Joe turned toward the lake,
seeking solitude in the only place he knew that would bring peace to his
troubled soul, his mother’s resting-place.
Joe
tied Cochise’s reins to a nearby tree and clutching his stomach, slowly made
his way over to Marie’s grave.
Carefully, Joe squatted down, running his hand lovingly over the large
headstone. His fingers gently traced the
lettering that spelled out Marie’s name.
Tears blinded his vision as Joe lowered his head. Slowly, a lone tear made it’s
way down the front of Joe’s dirt smeared face and dropped onto his knee,
leaving a tiny circle of dampness of his trouser leg.
Joe
settled himself on the ground, his back resting against the side of the massive
rock. He sighed, wiped the tears from
his face and leaned his head back, closing his eyes as he sucked in a gulp of
air.
“Why
Mama…why do they hate you so? They didn’t even know
you…yet they judge you…it ain’t right,” whispered Joe softly.
Joe
opened his eyes, looking out at the grandeur of the lake and noting how blue
the water was. “It’s beautiful up
here…no wonder this was always your favorite place,” sighed Joe. “It’s mine, too.”
Joe
turned to look at the headstone, his eyes beading with water again.
“You
were no whore…you were a warm, wonderful, beautiful
person…Pa told me all about you. I have
trouble sometimes, remembering you…I look at your picture at times, when I want
to remember your face. And Adam and
Hoss, they tell me things about you…things you’ve said to make them laugh, and
things you’ve said and done for me, for them and
A
sob caught in Joe’s throat and he swallowed it away, sniffing his nose. “I wouldn’t have cared what ya were before ya
met Pa and married him. I’d of love ya,
no matter what…just like Pa and Adam and Hoss loved ya.”
Joe
stood to his feet and walked off a few paces, turning to face the
headstone.
“I ain’t never been ashamed of ya, Mama…honest…and I ain’t
never been ashamed of who or what I was.
But Dan and his brothers have a way of making me wish that I was…was…”
“Was
what Joe?”
Joe
spun around, startled to see his oldest brother standing just yards from
him. He watched in silence as Adam
tethered his horse and moved closer, coming to stand side by side with
him. Adam gazed down at the headstone
and then glanced at Joe.
“I
went by school, but they said you didn’t show up today…”
“I
went…I just didn’t stay,” said Joe softly as he moved slightly away from Adam
and turned his back to his brother.
“How’d ya know I’d be here?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder.
“I
guessed. Mitch said he saw you riding away
this morning, and said you looked as if you’d been in a fight, so I just
figured you’d come here,” Adam said, gently placing his hand on Joe’s shoulder.
Joe
flinched as if he’d been struck and stepped away from the tender touch. He turned so that he could see Adam’s face.
“I
didn’t start anything, if that’s what you’re thinking,” muttered Joe.
“I
wasn’t thinking anything of the sorts,” Adam assured his brother.
“Oh…well,
I just thought…”
“Joe,”
smiled Adam as he turned to retrieve his canteen from his saddle. “Why don’t you come over here and let me
clean up you’re face. Looks
as if you’ve been wallowing in the dirt.”
Adam
untied his neckerchief and waited for Joe.
He motioned toward a large boulder and when Joe had settled himself,
Adam dampened the cloth and carefully began wiping away the dried blood and
dirt from his brother’s face.
For
several moments neither said a word.
“They
said I was half of nothing,” Joe said in a whispered voice. He wrinkled up his face as Adam wiped
carefully at the cut above his left eye.
“They…who?”
“The
“That
Pa was what, Joe?”
“A
dirty, blue-bellied Yankee,” Joe murmured.
Anger
momentarily flickered across Adam’s expression, but he was quick to mask
it. “Well…truth is, Pa is a Yankee Joe,
for that matter, so am I,” Adam smiled.
“I know
that…but it’s the way they said it, as if it were something to be ashamed
of…and…that ain’t all they said,” Joe stammered, looking away. “They said things…about…her.” He nodded his head toward the grave.
“Your mother? What could they know about Marie?”
Adam asked, somewhat surprised that the new boys, in town, would know anything
negative to say about his father’s third wife, and Joe’s mother.
Joe
looked away, not trusting himself, for he felt the tears burn his eyes. Quickly he wiped them away with the sleeve of
his shirt and turned back to Adam, though he could not meet the dark eyes.
“They
called her a whore…a French Creole whore,” he sputtered, lowering his head as
the tiny beads of water rolled gently and silently down his face.
Adam
felt as if the wind had been knocked from him.
He hurried to Joe’s side and slipping his arms about the trembling
shoulders, pulled the boy into his embrace.
Adam swallowed hard, his anger rising at the ones who had caused such
misery and hurt in his brother.
“You
know better than that, Joe…Marie was a…”
“I
know what she was, Adam…but knowing that other people think she was…was a…well,
it hurts…even if it ain’t so,” stammered Joe, allowing himself the comfort of
his brother’s embrace.
“Yes,
it does hurt. And if that’s what this
fight was about…then I can’t say I blame you for taking a swing at those
three,” Adam whispered.
He
gently forced Joe back enough that he could see his brother’s face. He smiled slightly.
“You
did get in at least one good punch, I hope?”
Joe
found it impossible not to smile.
“One…only one, but it was good. I
think I broke Dan’s nose.”
Adam’s
brows rose slightly and he fought to control his amusement. “Pa’s not going to like it you know, your fighting, I mean.”
Joe
lowered his head. “I know…he’ll probably
thrash me,” Joe muttered in a low voice.
He glanced again at Adam. “I
couldn’t help it…there was no way I was going to stand there and let them call
my mother names. I could care less what
they say about me, but…”
“What
did they say about you, Joe?”
Joe
puckered up his lips, fighting to control his quivering chin.
“They
said I was a half-breed, half of nothing.
They even called Hoss a half-wit…how can they be so mean, Adam, they don’t
even know us?” Joe said as he turned and knelt down in front of Marie’s grave.
Adam
watched the sadness wash over his younger brother and he knelt down next to
Joe, placing his hand on his brother’s back.
“Ignorance,
Joe. When people don’t try to understand
others, they’re ignorant. They are short
sighted, they become handicapped in their way of thinking and in the way they
treat others. Joe,” Adam said, turning
his brother so that Joe would have to look at him.
“Your
mother was a beautiful woman, not just in looks, but inside, in her heart. She was from a part of the country that few
people understand; she lived a different type of life than most any woman
around here. They were jealous of her,
they envied her and those that chose not to get to know her, allowed their
ignorance to rule their views of her.
Marie had only a handful of friends, mostly men, which only added to the
women’s dislike of her. But she was happy
Joe, happy and very much in love with our father. She worshipped the ground Pa walked on, and
she was good to Hoss and I, she loved us very much. And when you were born, why…I’ve never, to
this day, seen a woman happier than what Marie was. She loved you Joe; please, never doubt
that. Regardless of what the world
thought of Marie Cartwright, she never let those thoughts or unkindness’ damper
what she felt in her heart for her family.
And we were a family Joe. We
still are, thanks to your mother.”
“Pa,
Hoss and I were like three sailors lost at sea until your mother happened
along. Oh sure, I resented her in the
beginning; unlike Hoss who to took to her kindness and love practically from
the moment she stepped into the house.
But I learned to love her Joe; she was as much my mother, and Hoss’
mother, as she was yours. She made our
lives complete, and she never gave in to the harsh words of others, that I know
must have hurt her deeply.”
Adam
gently took hold of Joe’s shoulders and eased him to his feet. He smiled down at the tear-dampened
face.
“Don’t
you give in either.
Marie wouldn’t want you too.
She’d say to you, ‘son, it takes a bigger man to turn and walk away’.”
“But
they called her a whore, Adam…”
“They
called her many things, Joe…to her face and behind her back. Yet she rose above them all, and she’d want
you to do the same.”
Joe
looked Adam squarely in the eyes. “But
it’s so hard.”
“Yes…I
know, buddy. I’ve had to swallow my
anger many times myself…for the same reasons that caused you to fight,
today. I’ve been called coward by a few,
chicken and been told I was yellow by others.
But, as Pa says, you can’t settle everything with just your fists…or
with a gun.”
“Then
how…and don’t tell me to ignore them…I’ve tried that, and believe me…it doesn’t
work with those three,” grumbled Joe, moving to sit back down on the rock. He lowered his head, lost in thought.
After
several minutes of silence, he turned again to Adam. “They told me not to come back to school.
They said that they didn’t want me there.”
Joe
rose and went to stand before Adam.
“What am I going to do? If I
don’t finish this year with good grades, then Pa won’t let me quit school…and I
want too, I want to work with you and Hoss and
Adam
placed both hands on Joe’s shoulders and tightened his lips, silently praying that
he was doing the right thing.
“What
do you think, you should do?” he asked softly.
He saw his brother gulp.
“Go
back?” Joe practically whispered.
“That’s
what I would do…but then, you aren’t me,” Adam answered just as softly.
“No,
I ain’t you…but I am your brother…and I am a Cartwright,” smiled Joe. He hesitated slightly before continuing. “Will ya go with me?” he asked.
“Do
you really want me too…I mean, do you want them seeing you riding in with
your…Yankee…brother?”
Joe
lowered his head, shaking it from side to side.
“Not really,” he said and then smiled up at Adam. “I’ll go back…and I’ll stay, no matter what,”
he promised in a determined voice.
Joe
giggled softly as he turned to his horse.
“How about if ya ride into town a little after I do, and have Doc Martin
ready? I have a feeling I’m going to
need him by the end of the day,” he smiled.
“Alright
Joe, I’ll be about ten minutes behind you.
And no matter what happens, I’ll be around, but this is something you’ll
have to settle for yourself. Just take
them one at a time…if possible,” offered Adam.
“I’ll
try, but I can’t promise,” smiled Joe as he mounted up and turned his horse
back toward the school. “Adam…about this
morning…I’m sorry I lost my temper.”
Adam
laughed as he placed his hand on his brother’s knee. “Forget it, Little Joe,
I’m sorry for always teasing you. I only
do it cause…I…I…”
“I
know Adam, ya don’t gotta say it,” giggled Joe.
“Cause…I…I…love ya too.”
Joe
spurred his mount into a run and disappeared before Adam had a chance to
respond.
Joe
entered the schoolyard at a slow pace.
The last of the children were just entering the building by the time
that Joe dismounted and started slowly for the door. He paused just before entering and let the
wind free from his lungs.
When
he entered the room, the entire class stopped what they were doing and turned
to stare at him. Joe gulped; Miss Jones
turned as well, and eyed him from head to toe.
“Joseph,
I hope you have good reason to have missed the first part of class,” she said
in an agitated tone.
Joe
slipped quietly into his seat, noting the daring looks from his attackers. He ignored them and focused his attention
back to the teacher.
“Yes
ma’am, I was caught up in a fight, and I had to stop long enough to clean up
before coming in,” he explained honestly.
“A
fight?” stammered Miss Jones.
Her
eyes moved swiftly to Dan’s nose and then returned to the youngest
Cartwright. “
Very
well…but I shall be sending a note home to your father, explaining your
tardiness,” she said sternly.
“Yes,
ma’am…I figured ya would.”
Joe
was right too, by the end of the day, Miss Jones had the note ready and she did
not hesitate to place it on the desk in front of him just before dismissing
class for the day. He looked up at the
teacher, surprised to see the slight smile on her face.
“I
sent a note home with Dan too…just so you’d know,” she whispered and then
surprised Joe further by placing a hand on his shoulder as she turned to the
class.
“Class
dismissed,” she said in a clear voice.
Joe
rose slowly from his seat, taking the note and shoving it into his shirt
pocket. He glanced at Miss Jones.
“Be
careful going home, Joseph…the way I see it, it’s three to one,” she cautioned.
Joe
smiled, amazed that his teacher would be so concerned; for he had it in his
head that Miss Jones didn’t like him much.
“Yes
ma’am…I promise to watch my back.”
Joe
thought about telling her not to worry, Adam had promised to meet him but
thought better of it. Any mention of his
brother’s name would spike too much interest from the teacher, and Joe had no
heart to cause Adam any embarrassment.
He smiled again and took his leave.
Once
outside, Joe paused to look around for Adam.
He was nowhere to be seen. Joe
gulped and swallowed his disappointment as he slowly made his way to his horse. Cochise snorted softly at his approach. Joe smiled at the horse and gently rubbed the
velvety nose.
“Guess
it just you and me, Pal,” he muttered, untying the reins from where he had
looped them around the branch.
Joe
turned to swing up into the saddle but as he did so, he felt his body being
spun around and slung to the ground. He
groaned as his body made contact with the hard packed earth. Pain from his aching ribs surged through his
body, limiting his reaction time.
Dan
reached down and grabbed Joe’s arm, roughly yanking the boy to his feet. Joe turned just in time to see the fist aimed
at his face. He managed to duck clear
but in so doing, lost his balance and stumbled forward, straight into the
waiting arms of Dan’s two brothers.
Bobby
and Cody each made a grab for Joe, taking him by the arms and holding him so
that he could not break free. Dan
laughed as he swung out his fist, punching Joe in the abdomen. Joe’s body lurched forward but instantly the
two on either side of him hauled him upright.
Dan punched Joe again in the stomach and when Joe’s head fell forward, Dan
punched Joe in the face, causing Joe's head to snap back.
Dan
swung back to punch Joe a third time but was caught off guard when he felt a
hand tighten about his arm. Dan jerked
around startled to find Adam clutching tightly to his arm, instantly he relaxed
his fist. Bobby and Cody dropped their
hands, letting Joe slump to the ground.
“If
you want to fight my brother, then do it fairly…one at
a time,” warned Adam, “or else deal with me.”
Adam
almost laughed when he saw Dan’s eyes widen and then heard him gulp.
“Ya
mean…ya goin’ to let him fight us?” stammered Dan.
“That’s
what you’re wanting isn’t it, or did you think you needed your brothers in
order to take Joe?” smirked Adam.
“I
can take the little twerp, any day…I don’t need my brothers,” Dan said,
grinning and rubbing his opened hand over the fist he had made with his other
hand.
He
walked over to where Joe was slowly getting to his feet. “Come on Cartwright…I can take ya any day…I
don’t need…”
Dan
never got to finish his sentence. Joe, half
bent over, charged the bigger boy, driving his head into the other boy’s
stomach. Adam heard Dan’s loud groan as
he and Joe hit the ground and began rolling around.
He
watched as Dan managed to gain the advantage and deliver several hard blows to Joe’s
face and stomach. Adam almost stepped in
as the blood spewed from his brother’s nose but stopped just as Joe flipped the
larger boy onto the ground. Joe swapped
several punches with Dan and then suddenly found himself being flipped through
the air. Quickly, Joe staggered to his
feet and when Dan charged him, Joe stepped aside, allowing Dan to tumble over
his own feet and into the dirt.
Dan
spun around, jumping to his feet and ran at Joe. Joe met the oncoming fury with a solid punch
to the boy’s chin. Dazed, Dan froze and
then staggered backward and then falling into the arms of his brothers. They gently lowered the older boy to the
ground, where Dan slipped into unconsciousness.
Bobby
glanced worriedly at Cody and then down at his brother.
“Come
on, Bobby…I ain’t finished yet…now is the time if ya want
some of me, come get it!” challenged Joe, with a crooked grin.
Bobby
hesitated, not sure of what he wanted to do.
“Either
fight me now, or leave me alone…for good,” urged Joe, who was still aching to
fight all three.
Bobby
lowered his head in submission. He
glanced sideways at Joe. “Ain’t nobody
ever bested Dan…I reckon ya proved ya point Cartwright. Ya won’t hear from me again.”
“Or
me either…Joe,” Cody added in a soft voice.
Adam
walked to his horse and grabbed his canteen, returning to pour the cool water
into Dan’s face. Dan sputtered as he
regained his senses. Bobby and Cody
helped their brother to his feet. Dan
wiped the water from his face and glared at Joe.
“I
could’ve taken ya…” he spouted and then turned, shaking himself free of his
brothers’ hands, which were trying to help him.
He slowly made his way to his horse and mounted up, turning toward
town. “There’ll be another day,
kid…another day.”
Joe
and Adam stood together and watched the three brothers
ride away. When they were gone, Joe
looked up at Adam.
“Where
were you?” he demanded.
“I’m
sorry Joe, but I got tied up in town. I
got here right as Dan jerked you from your horse. I was going to stop him, but then thought I’d
let you take him first…”
“Gee
thanks, his brothers didn’t quite make it a fair match you know,” grumbled Joe,
wiping the oozing blood from under his nose.
“I’m
sorry Joe…”
Joe
snickered, “Forget it, big brother. It was
worth the punches just to see the look on that kid’s face when you grabbed his
arm. For a minute he thought you were
going to hit him!”
“I
almost did…I sure wanted too, but then it suddenly dawned on me, he’s just a
kid…If I had hit him, I’d most likely be in jail right now,” smiled Adam.
“Ha,
that wouldn’t have gone over very well with Pa,” giggled Joe.
“No…but
neither is your face…you should see it,” laughed Adam.
“I
don’t have to see it, Adam…I can feel it…and it hurts like blazes. So does my stomach…I think I cracked a couple
of ribs,” Joe said as the pain unexpectedly washed over him.
He
stood at his horse’s side, his hands in place to mount, but his movements were
slow.
“I
don’t feel so good, Adam,” moaned Joe and lowered his head, resting against the
stirrup.
Adam
quickly rounded Joe’s horse and placed both hands on Joe’s shoulder, turning
the boy slowly.
“Let’s get you over to the doc’s,
he can patch you up before we go home.
Think you can walk?”
“Yeah,
if ya let me lean against ya,” Joe said.
Adam
smiled as he gently pulled Joe close to him and slipped his arm about Joe,
letting Joe lean heavily on him. Slowly
Adam led Joe the short distance from the school to the doctor’s office.
“Adam,”
called out Paul Martin when he saw Adam, leading Joe inside. “What in the world?” he proclaimed as he
motioned to the small table where he examined most of his patients.
The
kind doctor leaned over as Joe stretched out on the table.
“Let
me guess,” he grinned at Adam. “Another fight? Joseph,
when are you ever going to stop trying to settle matters with your fists?”
teased Paul lightly.
Feeling
the discomfort growing, Joe closed his eyes and refused to answer the
question. His thoughts were more prone to
what his father would say once he got home and Ben saw the bruises and scraps
on his face.
“He
had no choice this time, Doc,” Adam was quick to come to Joe’s defense. “It was rather poor odds, three against one,”
he explained. “So I had to even it up
some, and let Joe fight them one at a time.”
“I
did too,” moaned Joe.
Paul
finished his exam, glancing over at Adam who stood nearby. “I’m going to have to bind these ribs,
Adam. There’s a couple cracked,” he
explained.
“I
figured as much,” Adam said, looking down to see the tears swell in his
brother’s eyes. “Sorry Joe…”
Joe
pinched his lips tightly, willing away the tears from his eyes. “Well, at least Pa won’t take a strap to
me…for a few weeks, anyway,” he said with a forced smile.
“Joe,
you know as well as I, Pa don’t punish you like that any more,” laughed Adam.
“No,
it’s worse, he just locks me in my room and feeds me bread and water,” groaned
Joe.
Paul
couldn’t help but laugh. “Joseph, you do
have a vivid imagination…Ben Cartwright would never starve one of his sons, for
any reason!”
The
ribs bound, Paul handed some powders to Adam with instructions on how to give
them.
“Wait
until you get Joe home Adam, otherwise, he’ll be asleep in the saddle. And I sure don’t want him falling from his
horse. Tell your father Joe will be fine
in a few days, just keep him in bed until I come out
one day next week to check on him.”
“Sure
Doc, and thanks,” smiled Adam as he joined Joe outside. He helped Joe to mount up and reached for
Sport’s reins.
“Say
Adam…who won?” Paul questioned, grinning at Joe.
“I’m
not sure…I think it was a draw…but Little Joe proved his point.”
The
minute that Ben saw his youngest son’s face, Joe was ushered off to bed and
given one of the pain powders. He tucked
the blanket around Joe’s form and leaned down, brushing back a fallen lock of
chestnut hair.
“You
try to rest Joseph, I’ll be back to check in on you later. I want to have a word with your brother,”
smiled Ben assuredly.
“Pa…wait,” Joe called before Ben could leave. “I have to explain something…”
“Not
now son, you rest and we’ll talk later…”
“But
Pa…” Joe felt the quivering of his chin.
“I had to fight…they…said things,” his voice faltered, remembering the
cruel things that Dan and his brothers had said about his mother and father.
Ben
returned to the bed and sat down next to Joe.
He took one look at the quivering chin and knew that whatever Joe had to
say he had to hear.
“What
things, son?”
Ben
watched as Joe struggled with his emotions.
“Whatever they were, they must have hurt you deeply. Did they?”
Joe
nodded his head. He looked into his
father’s face and noted the love that reflected back at him through eyes that
had always met his with a depth of warmth and love that had always astonished him.
“They
called me names…Dan said I was nothing but a…half-breed…part Yankee, part
French Creole…”
“Well,
son…part of that is true…”
“I
know Pa…Adam already explained it to me…you are a Yankee, and my mother was
French Creole…”
“Then why the fight? Why not
laugh it off and just walk away?” Ben questioned gently, unaware that behind
him, Adam and Hoss stood, silently listening in the doorway.
“Because…they
called her, a…a…” Joe gulped, looking away from the probing eyes that
scrutinized his face.
“Whore,”
he whispered.
There
was a long silence that filled the room.
Joe chanced a look into his father’s face, surprised to see both the
hurt and anger mixed into one.
“I’m
sorry…Pa…I didn’t mean to…hurt you,” he whispered, tears filling his eyes.
Ben
swallowed the anger and smiled at Joe.
“You didn’t hurt me, son…I’ve heard it all before. It’s just that it surprises me that it’s
still being said. Your mother’s been
gone nearly ten years; I would have thought that by now, everyone would have
forgotten the gossip. I suppose I was
wrong to think that,” Ben said, his voice filled with emotion.
He
smiled again at Joe and tenderly caressed his son’s cheek. “I hope you know Joe, that it’s all lies…your
mother was nothing of the sorts,” Ben informed his son.
“Don’t
you think I know that, Pa?” Joe said. “I
wouldn’t have care if she had been, she was my mother, regardless of what
anyone says…I owe her my life…and I…I…”
Joe’s
reserve broke as his father pulled him into his arms and held him close.
“Why
do they have to be so mean, Pa…they didn’t even know her? They said I was half of nothing, which made
me the same as nothing. They said all of
us were…”
Ben
cradled Joe’s head against his heart and gently ran his fingers through the
thick curls.
“Joe…forget what they said…it doesn’t matter in the least. I know it hurts…but we are what we are and we
are who we are. We are a family…we’re
all of one blood, bound together through mutual love and respect. You and Adam and Hoss may have different
mothers, but that doesn’t make you half of nothing. It makes you a whole…it makes us a family,
and isn’t that what counts…not whose mother’s who’s, but that I am your father
and Adam and Hoss are your brothers, and we love one another. That’s everything son, it’s something that a
lot of people cannot claim.”
“I
never even thought about any of us being anything except family. I knew my mother was different than most of
the ladies around here, but that never bothered me, until Dan and his brothers
started making something out of it,” Joe said quietly. “Pa…my mother was everything to you, and to
Hoss and Adam, wasn’t she?”
Ben
squeezed Joe a little tighter, reassuring the boy of his love. “Yes son, she was everything I could have
ever wanted in a wife, and everything Adam and Hoss could have longed for in a
mother, why?”
Joe
eased back from his father and smiled a bit.
“Then that means that I’m not half of nothing, doesn’t it?”
Ben
laughed lightly, pulling Joe to his breast once more.
“It
means Joseph, that to your brothers and I, you are everything and you have all
of everything…that’s important. You are
all your brothers could wish for in a youngest brother and everything a father
could ask for in a son. You are not half
of anything, but rather the source that binds our family as a whole. Does that answer your question, young man?”
smiled Ben.
“Yessir…but
Pa…what if Dan and his brothers don’t leave me alone…what if I have to fight
them again?” Joe looked up at his
father.
“Let’s
not bargain for trouble son. Besides,
from the looks of your face, I’d sure hate to see the other young man’s face,”
Ben chuckled. “I don’t condone fighting,
though, young man…I only let this pass this time because I feel the boy
deserved what he got.
Joe
drew back from his father’s embrace and leaned against the pillows. He wiped dry his tears and forced a smile.
“Ya
should’ve seen him hightailing it outta there,” laughed Joe. “He said I was only half a man…well, I guess
I showed him, didn’t I Adam?”
“You
sure did, sport,” replied Adam.
Ben
looked up at his oldest son who had joined them. Ben forced himself to frown at
his oldest son.
“You
stood by and watched the whole thing and didn’t make any attempt to stop your
brother from brawling like a common hoodlum?” Ben said in as stern a voice as
he could muster.
Adam’s
eyes grew wide and he glanced at his youngest brother.
“Hmm…well…I…”
“Pa…Adam
couldn’t have stopped me…it was my doings.
I had to stand up to Dan; otherwise he never would have stopped saying
nasty things about my mother…and you.
Adam did make them fight fair…and…”
Ben
laughed out loud as he took in the expression on both Adam and Joe’s
faces. He glanced up at Hoss and noted
the worried look on his face as well.
“Boys,
I was only teasing. Joe, I’ve lived long
enough to know that there are times that a man has to stand up and fight. He has to do what a man has to do…and though
I don’t approve of using one’s fists to solve one’s problems, I do know that
there will always be times that arise when there is no other way to settle a
dispute but to fight.”
Ben
smiled at Joe, “I’m proud of you for defending your mother’s honor…and mine…but
please promise me Joe, you’ll not make a habit out of it,” laughed Ben. “I’m getting too old for such shenanigans!”
“I
promise Pa…and that’s a whole promise, not just half a promise!”
Joe
finished the school term with honors, surprising both himself and his
family. Pride shown in
Ben’s eyes when Joe stepped up to the podium and accepted his diploma. Ben stood with the other parents, clapping
loudly as Joe’s brothers cheered him on.
Joe
looked out into the crowd and saw his father’s smiling face. He grinned back,
winking at his father as he moved down the isle to join his family.
“I
did it!” He beamed happily.
“You
sure did, son…it’s an answer to prayer!” rejoiced Ben.
“Congratulations
little brother,” smiled Adam, shaking Joe’s hand.
“Hey…good job, short shanks!”
“Hey…I’ve
got an idea, why don’t we go over to the Silver Dollar and celebrate?” Joe
suggested, giving his father a cheeky grin.
Joe
started for the door, but was stopped by the pressure of hands on his
shoulders.
“Oh no you don’t,” ordered Ben, guiding Joe toward their waiting
horses. “Just because you’re out of
school, doesn’t mean you’re old enough to start drinking,” laughed Ben with a
serious look.
“Yeah,
Hoss and I’ll go celebrate for you, you go home and get a good night’s rest,
tomorrow is a work day…and you’re gonna wish you was back in school when we get
finished with you!” teased Adam.
Hoss
slung his arm about Adam’s shoulder and grinned down at his little brother.
“Adam’s
right Joe…can’t give a whole day’s pay lessen ya do a whole day’s work…ain’t
that right, Pa?”
“That
right Hoss, but I don’t think you’ll have to worry about Joe doing anything
half way…do I son?” Ben asked as he turned to Joe with a knowing smile.
“Nope,
it’s half of nothing and all of everything…I’ll earn my pay, just don’t the two
of you stay out so late or drink so much, you can’t do your own jobs…come
morning!” laughed Joe as he swung his horse around and started home.
Ben
turned to Adam and Hoss with a stern look.
“Joe’s right boys, don’t you stay out too late!” Ben took a couple of steps and started to
mount his horse.
“By
the way Adam…I didn’t see the
Adam
glanced at Hoss and then laughed.
“I
think they’re half way to
“Larceny…what
did the man steal?” Ben asked as he mounted Buck.
Hoss hew-hawed loudly, “Half a bottle of whiskey!”
“
Ben
frowned at his laughing sons. “I get the picture…half of nothing is nothing. Now if you
will excuse me, I’m sure that by now, Little Joe is half way home! Good bye!”
Ben
kicked at Buck’s sides and as Buck broke into a run, Ben was half way tossed
from his saddle. As he righted himself,
his sons’ laughter rang in his ears.
He
caught up with Joe, half way home, just as he had suspected. He reined Buck into a walk beside Joe and
smiled at his son, happy to see the pleased expression on the boy’s face.
“I’m
proud of you Joe,” Ben said after awhile.
“Thanks
Pa, I half expected ya would be…”
Ben
spurred Buck into a gallop, startling Joe.
Joe urged his horse forward, yelling out in the process of catching up
with his father.
“PA…WAIT UP…WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID?” shouted Joe,
halfheartedly.
THE
END
JANUARY
2004