A Life Lived



By Helen B.


Joe stood as still as he could, he felt sick to his stomach and he could barely control the quivering in his legs. He fought to keep his breathing steady. His body begged for release from the pain and as much as he fought it, his mind kept screaming at him that his body would give out soon.

Adam knew it wouldn’t be long now. There was no doubt in his mind that he was going to die. He tried to keep as still as he could, knowing that any movement by him was sending pain throughout Joe’s body. He didn’t know how Joe had been able to endure it for so long.

Adam heard his youngest brother start to cry and as much as he dreaded what was going to happen to him, his heart broke for Joe, for he knew that no matter what he said to him, Joe would forever hold himself responsible for Adam’s death.

Adam thought back to how this had all started. Lately it had seemed that he and Joe had done nothing but argue. It had all come to a head a couple of weeks ago. Adam had stood in the barn arguing with Joe.

Joe walked out of the barn, leading Cochise, turning his back on Adam. Adam grabbed his arm and swung him around. “You’ll do as I say.”

“I don’t have to do what you say. Pa said I could go and I’m going.” Joe yelled.

“You’ll not defy me on this, boy.”

Those words were like a match to dynamite and just as quickly, Joe exploded. Pulling free of Adam he yelled “I’m sick of you treating me like a child. I won’t put up with it any longer”. Before Adam could stop him Joe leapt on to Cochise and was gone.

“Damn” Adam was beyond angry but also willing to admit that he had handled the situation badly. He knew he should never have let Joe ride out like that in the mood he’d been in.

Hoss, coming out of the house to see what all the yelling was about saw Joe go flying out of the yard on Cochise. He walked quickly over to Adam. “What happened?”

“Joe wanted to go over to the Miller’s place to help Sarah set up for her party. I told him he couldn’t go.”

“Why? Pa said he could have the day off.”

“Pa’s away. I’m in charge. I told Joe he had to get that water hole cleaned out in the South pasture. He hasn’t done it. I told him last week that if it wasn’t done he wouldn’t be going to the Millers today.”

“Did you ask Joe if he’d done it?”

“What?” Adam asked, not understanding what Hoss was talking about.

“Did you ask Joe if he’d cleaned out the water hole?”

Realization hit Adam. That he hadn’t asked; he’d just assumed that Joe hadn’t done it. Trying to justify himself he said, “Joe never does anything without being asked ten times to do it.”

“This time he did.” Hoss said simply.

“What do you mean? Are you telling me that Joe has cleaned it out?”

“Yes, he has and before you say anything else, yes, I’ve seen it and yes, he did a good job.” Hoss was angry himself. “Joe’s worked really hard while Pa has been away. If you think about it, you’ll realize that Joe’s done all you’ve asked of him and more. He’d just finished cleaning that water hole when I went by there yesterday. He thought you’d be pleased at the job he’d done and that you hadn’t had to remind him to do it.”

“Why didn’t he tell me?” Adam said, full of remorse.

“When did you get home last night?”

 Adam nodded realizing what Hoss was telling him. “You know I got in late. I had a meeting in town. Joe was in bed by the time I got home.”

“Exactly. And by the sounds of it, you didn’t give him a chance to say anything about it this morning before going off at him.”

“No, you’re right. What a mess. I’ll have to go after him and apologize.” He turned to start saddling his horse.

“Adam, why don’t you give him time to calm down before you try and talk to him.”

Adam smiled wryly. “You’re right. He wouldn’t want to hear anything I have to say at the moment. Hoss, ride after him. Make sure he got to the Millers okay. It worries me when he rides when he’s so angry.”

“I’ll go now, Adam.”

Joe stood trembling, his mind trying to think of anything but what was happening now. He remembered the argument he’d had with Adam, and the things he’d said to Hoss. Hoss had been right he hadn’t meant it. Joe’s thoughts turned to the day of the argument that had precipitated his father sending Joe with Adam to sell the horses in the hope that time away together would give them a chance to sort things out between them.

Joe rode away from the ranch. After awhile, his emotions took over. He slowed Cochise, getting off he just sat down on the side of the road, his head resting on his arms which were on his drawn up knees.

As Hoss had ridden along the road he’d seen Cochise just standing there, with Joe sitting there beside him. Hoss jumped off Chub and hurried over to him, thinking that Joe had fallen.

“Joe!” shouted Hoss.

Joe looked up at the sound of his brother’s voice. Hoss came over and sat next to Joe, placing his hand on his younger brother’s back.

“Are you alright?” Hoss asked concerned. “You ain’t hurt are ya?”

Joe shook his head. “No, I’m alright. He just makes me so mad.”

Hoss didn’t need to ask who Joe was referring to. Hoss could tell by Joe’s voice that Joe was struggling with tears and anger. “He didn’t mean it Joe. I told him about the water hole. He’s sorry for jumping on ya.”

“So he should be.”

Hoss shook his head, Joe sure could hang on to a bad mood. But Hoss knew it wasn’t just anger, Joe was hurt.

“Adam sent me after you.”

“Oh, he would. What is wrong with him can’t he just leave me alone.”

Hoss interrupted him. “Joe, it’s not like that. He was worried about ya that’s all.”

“Humph,” Joe merely grunted.

“You know you could have stood your ground with Adam, let him have his say and then made him listen to you.” Hoss hated it when his brothers were at odds with each other.

“There’s no talking to Adam when he’s in that mood.”

“The same could be said of you.” Hoss said.

“I hate him.” Joe said quietly.

“No, don’t say that Joe. You’re angry with him is all. You don’t hate him.”

Joe didn’t answer.

Hoss patted Joe’s back and said, “Adam’s been under a lot of pressure with Pa away. He wants everything to run smoothly.”

“I was doin’ my best to help him. I didn’t mean to make him mad.”

Hoss heard the hurt in Joe’s voice. “He knows that. Sort it out with him Joe. Don’t let the anger fester.”

Joe was about to retort angrily but Hoss’ calm manner had a good effect on him and Joe calmed down. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Joe gave Hoss a slight smile. “I will. I’ll talk to him later when I come home to get changed for the party.”

Hoss stood and pulled Joe to his feet. “You better get goin’. Miss Sarah will be wonderin’ where you are.”

Joe swung up on to Cochise. “I’ll see you later.”

 When Joe returned home later that day, Adam was waiting to talk to him.

Adam was working at the desk when Joe came in, he called over to him. “Joe, can I talk to you for a minute?”

Joe approached the desk and sat down on the corner of it.

“I’m sorry about this morning. I should never have said the things I did. I hope you can forgive me.” Adam held out his hand to Joe.

Joe immediately reciprocated the move. “I’m sorry too, Adam.”

Joe nodded at the bookwork Adam was doing. “Are you nearly finished?”

“I have a bit more to do. I want to get it all done before Pa gets home tomorrow.”

“Aren’t you coming to the party?”

“I didn’t know if you’d want me there.” Adam replied, not sure if things were back to normal between them.

“Come on, Adam. I thought we put that behind us?”

“Alright,” Adam shut the book. “I guess I can finish this in the morning.”

As an excruciating pain shot through Joe, his thoughts returned to the awful situation he now found himself in. His shoulder felt like it was on fire.

Adam felt Joe try to adjust his weight. Adam’s thoughts turned to his treatment of Joe lately. Their father was right, he did still treat Joe maybe too much as a child but how could he help it. Joe would always be his baby brother. And now, he couldn’t help but think about what would happen to Joe after this. He thought about the day after his argument with Joe.

Ben arrived home and that night after Hoss and Joe had gone to bed, Ben and Adam talked.

Ben said, “Well, everything looks fine Adam. How were things between you and Joe?” Ben knew the two brothers were prone to clashes.    

Ben knew his sons well and he saw the look that crossed Adam’s face. “What happened?”

“Joe and I had an argument yesterday. It was more my fault than his.” Adam told his father what had happened.

“And everything’s alright between you and Joe now?”

Adam smiled wryly “For now anyway. It’s like Joe and I just don’t get on. It never used to be this way between us. I don’t know what went wrong.”

“Adam, Joe’s young. He’s just trying to find his own place in the family. He doesn’t know where he fits yet. He’s caught between no longer being a child and not quite an adult. You were as difficult to get on with when you were his age.”

Adam nodded. “I guess so. But he isn’t like that with you and Hoss.”

“I know. But if your honest about it Adam, I think sometimes you expect too much from Joe.”

Adam started to protest but Ben said, “Adam, you expect him to be like you, and he’s not, son. He does things differently than you, reacts to things differently. It’s not that your relationship with Joe is gone. It’s just changing. Give it time and I think you will find that it’s as strong as ever.”

“Maybe you’re right.” Adam reluctantly agreed. Smiling at his father he said, “Pa, how did you get to be so wise?”

Trying to keep a straight face, Ben replied, “I was born wise.”

Adam’s thoughts stopped wandering and he was jerked back to the present as he heard a crack and Joe cried out. Adam realized Joe’s left shoulder had given out, but still, through sheer force of will Joe stayed on his feet and maintained the weight.


Adam heard Joe sob as he struggled to speak. “Adam……… I’m sorry……….I can’t………….God, Adam………………I’m so…….. sorry.”

Adam felt the rope against his neck pull and he tried to adjust his weight to the right. “It’s alright Joe. Whatever happens, it’s not your fault. You have to understand that. Please Joe.”

Adam knew there wasn’t much time left. He was desperate to make Joe understand. He felt like giving in to panic and despair, he didn’t want to die like this. Adam knew for him it would soon be over but Joe would have to live with the guilt of not being able to save his brother and Adam feared that the guilt would destroy Joe.

Joe’s body was starting to cramp from the weight pressing down on it. His legs felt like they were going to give way but Joe knew he could never allow that to happen. He knew if he chose to end his own pain it would cause the death of his brother and he could never do that. He thought about the morning his father had told him he wanted Joe to go with Adam to sell the horses. The words his father had said came back to him and they pounded in his head.

The day after his arrival home, Ben had spoken to his sons at the breakfast table. Adam was to leave the following day to take some horses for sale. One of the hands was due to go with him.

“Adam, I told Pete he wouldn’t be needed to go with you tomorrow. I want Joe to go with you.”

All three sons knew what Ben was up to. He thought a bit of time away from the ranch together would give Adam and Joe a chance to talk things through. He knew his sons well and he’d used the same strategy before; it had never failed him yet.

Adam and Joe nodded their acceptance as they got up from the table to start their day. Ben said, “I want you to remember you won’t have Hoss there to be the peace maker between you two so try not to kill each other.”

They saw the smile on their fathers face and all three sons laughed. “We’re not that bad.” Adam said.

“Hmmm.” Ben said noncommittally.

Joe’s head spun and the words kept going around and around in his head. ‘Try not to kill each other; try not to kill each other; try not to…………’ Joe tried to make the words stop. Pa had been joking, but now here he stood and it was up to him if Adam lived or died.

“Bastards.” Joe wanted to scream. How could they do this? Why didn’t they just take the money? The thoughts kept running through his head. Was it only yesterday that he and Adam had encountered the men, it seemed like longer than that. But yes, it was only yesterday.

 Joe and Adam had been heading home after selling the horses. As they rode along they had been talking and laughing. Often lately they didn’t seem to see eye to eye on anything and there always seemed to be an argument brewing. Pa had hoped this time away would help them sort things out between them and it appeared it had worked. They had gotten on well, but both had been looking forward to getting home.

Along the trail heading in the opposite direction they’d met four men. Joe and Adam nodded their heads in greeting as they passed them. Before Adam had a chance to react one of the men had pulled Joe from his horse, pulling Joe’s gun from his holster he’d held it to the boy’s head. He’d held Joe in front of him so Adam couldn’t shoot for fear of hitting Joe.

The other men had all pulled their guns and Adam had no choice but to throw his down.

The men had searched Adam and Joe, taking the money they’d gotten for the horses and anything else they had of value on them. Then they had been tied up. Throughout the night the men got drunker then one of them said he wanted to show the others something he’d heard about. They laughed and thought it was funny as Adam and Joe had been forced into position.

Adam was forced to stand on Joe’s shoulders, a rope around his neck, when Joe couldn’t take Adam’s weight any longer and collapsed – Adam would hang.

The image faded from Joe’s mind as he was brought back to reality by the sound of Adam’s voice.

Joe was too confused to understand what Adam was saying. His eyes blurred by tears and pain, he wasn’t aware of what was happening.

As unbearable pain shot through Joe’s entire body, blackness claimed him and Joe collapsed to the ground.

                    ********************

Joe awoke to the feeling of a warm soft bed under him. He felt someone touch him as he moved then he heard a voice he knew so well.

“It’s alright Joseph. Lie still.”

Slowly Joe opened his eyes, knowing who’s face he would see and wanting so very much to see that face.

“Pa.” Joe whispered.

The drapes were closed, only letting in a little light. The doctor had suggested keeping them that way so that when Joe did finally awaken the light wouldn’t be too painful on his eyes.

Ben gently lifted Joe’s head and let him sip a glass of water, laying him back down when he’d had enough.

As awareness came back to Joe he remembered what had happened. Ben was holding Joe’s right hand and he felt his son squeeze with what little strength he had.

Suddenly tears were flooding Joe’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Pa. I tried to hold him.” Joe kept repeating the same words over and over.

Careful of Joe’s shoulder wound Ben lifted Joe up so that Joe was resting against him. “Joe, listen to me. Adam’s alright. Shhhh, Joseph. Joseph, please believe me. Adam is fine.”

Joe would not be comforted.

Ben and Hoss had made good time to Willow Falls, riding as fast as possible. Adam had looked after Joe until their arrival. This morning Adam and Hoss had gone downstairs to the hotel dining room to have breakfast. Afterwards they went back upstairs to take up vigil in the room where Joe had laid for the last four days. As they walked in, Ben looked across the room.

“Thank heavens you’re here.” Ben pulled Joe back. “Joseph, look.” For a moment Joe just starred, too shocked to say or do anything.  Ben gently released Joe, getting up so that Adam could take his place.

Joe reached up and touched Adam’s face, Adam placed his hand over Joe’s for a moment, then reaching out he pulled Joe towards him.

“I thought you were dead. I thought I’d killed you.” Joe said.  

Adam was shocked at what his brother said. “Oh, Joe.” Adam ran his hand up and down Joe’s back while talking to him. “You saved me, Joe. No one could have done more than you did. No one.”

Finally when Joe’s emotions were under control, Adam released him. Joe wiped the tears away, his eyes staying on Adam.

“What happened?” Joe asked.

“What’s the last thing you remember Joe?” Adam asked.

“Pain. The pain was so bad.”

Adam rubbed Joe’s right arm. “You know how you were cramping. The doctor said when my weight was taken off you, the release made those cramps go right through you. That’s why the pain was so bad and you passed out.”

“But how did you get free?” Joe asked.

“I could feel you sway and I knew you were about to go, when suddenly out of nowhere, someone came riding up. He got me down just before you collapsed.”

Joe stared an Adam in wonderment. Still not being able to believe his eyes. His tears returned at the thought of just how close he had come to never being able to see his brother again.

Adam had always found it hard to show his emotions, believing that his family knew he loved them without him needing to tell them so but at this moment he felt in his heart that Joe needed to hear it from him. “Joe, I love you. Always have, always will. You saved my life.”

Joe shook his head and Adam stilled the movement with his hand. “Yes, you did Joe. I really don’t know how you managed to hold me up as long as you did.”

“I love you too Adam.” Joe said looking at his brother, then looking over at his father and Hoss he said, I love you all.”

Ben sat down on the other side of the bed. He knew Joe was feeling very emotional after all that had happened. “And I love you Joseph, so very, very much.” He said as he smoothed back Joe’s hair.

Hoss walked over and squatted down beside the bed. “That goes me for two short shanks, you know that.” Trying to lighten the mood, he continued, “Can’t I let you two go anywhere without me without you running into trouble.”

Joe smiled. “Well, where is this stranger? What’s his name? Can I meet him? When can we go home?” Then Joe realized he didn’t even know where he was. “Where are we?”

The others laughed. “One thing at a time, Joseph. His name is Tyler Hudson and yes, you can meet him.”

As Joe started to open his mouth, Ben said “You can meet him later Joe, not now. There’s plenty of time. As it turns out Tyler was looking for work so I’ve offered him a job on the Ponderosa. As to where we are, we’re in Willow Falls.”

Ben could see that Joe was sleepy. “Now young man, the doctor says that as well as having a broken shoulder you’re extremely dehydrated and exhausted. He said the best thing for you is rest so you are going to get plenty of it. So you get some sleep now and I’ll get your brothers to bring you up something to eat.”

Joe was almost asleep when he remembered his Pa hadn’t answered one of his questions. “You forgot to tell me when we can go home.”

Ben smiled. “I didn’t forget. I just decided not to answer that one.”

Joe opened his eyes. “Pa.”

Ben rubbed Joe’s arm. “Go to sleep Joseph. We’ll go home when the doctor says you can and not a moment before.”

Adam was still sitting on Joe’s bed and as Joe turned his head to a more comfortable position, their eyes caught. “Are you really alright?” Joe whispered sleepily.

Adam smiled. “I’m fine.”

Just before sleep claimed him, Joe mumbled. “Guess I’m lucky it wasn’t Hoss standin’ on me, I’d of been squashed.”

His family’s laughter was the last thing Joe heard before he went to sleep.

                    ********************

Ben agreed to Joe meeting Tyler the next day. Joe was still so exhausted that he could hardly keep his eyes open but Ben knew how much he wanted to meet Tyler.

Adam brought Tyler in and introduced him. “Tyler this is my youngest brother, Little Joe.”

Tyler reached for the young man’s hand. “Little Joe, it’s nice to meet you.”

Joe clasped his hand. “Thank you so much. I don’t know how I can thank you.”

“Your Pa’s given me a job that’s enough in my book. I’m just glad I came across you both when I did.”

“Not as glad as us.” Adam joked.

Ben was watching Joe carefully. “That’s enough for today. Joe’s tired.” Ben said.

“I’ll see you later, Little Joe.” Tyler said.

“It’s just Joe.” Joe mumbled.

The other Cartwright’s laughed and Joe scowled. Looking Joe in the eyes, Tyler said quietly, “I’ll remember, Joe.”

Joe flashed him a smile, instantly liking the man.

                    ********************

The Cartwright’s were riding home. Tyler Hudson was with them. Joe felt three sets of eyes on him as his family continually watched him. Joe had, as usual, gotten his own way. The doctor had wanted Joe to stay a few more days but Joe had talked the doctor into letting him go home by promising he wouldn’t over do it.

They were a day into the journey with another day to go. Ben had already suggested they stop for the night although there were still a couple of hours of daylight left. Joe had shaken his head and kept going. They hadn’t gone much further when Joe pulled his horse to a stop, with his head low he said, “I’m sorry Pa. I need to stop.”

Ben was off his horse and to Joe’s side in a moment, helping his son down he said, “There’s nothing to be sorry about, Joe.”

When Joe got off his horse, even though his left arm was in a sling, force of habit made him reach with his right for the buckle of his saddle, preparing to settle his horse for the night but Ben gently led Joe away. “Your brothers will see to the horses.”

Adam handed Ben a couple of blankets and the saddle roll from Joe’s horse.

After the horses were unsaddled, Tyler took them to a nearby stream to water them. Adam and Hoss walked over to Ben and Joe to start setting up camp.

Joe was stretched out sound asleep. Ben was sitting next to him.

“How is he?” Adam asked.

“He’s so tired. He’s been through so much.” Ben looked up at Adam. “You both have. We should have stayed in Willow Falls a few more days.”

Adam and Hoss sat down. “Pa.” Hoss said. “Joe’ll feel a lot better once we get home.”

“I wish we’d been able to get Cochise back for him.” Hoss said. He looked across at Adam. “I’m sorry you lost Beauty too Adam. You know that but Joe, well, you know how he is about that horse of his.”

Adam nodded. “I know. I’d have given anything to get the horse back for the kid, too.”

Ben sighed. Well, the Sheriff in Willow Falls was sending wires out everywhere so hopefully those men will be tracked down. At least by the descriptions you and Joe gave them they know who they’re looking for, the Wilson gang.”

“He didn’t sound too hopeful though. Seemed to think they’d just head for Mexico. The posse he sent out didn’t find anything.” Hoss said.

All the Cartwright’s were discouraged at the thought that the men might escape justice. The money that had been stolen was of no consequence to Ben, he’d have gladly given it a thousand times over to have spared his sons the ordeal they had gone through.

                    ********************

As the five men rode into the yard, Hop Sing hurried out to meet them. Joe could hardly raise a smile for the little man. He was almost asleep on his feet. Ben put his arm around Joe’s waist and steered him into the house.

Adam, Hoss and Tyler took care of the horses and then Adam showed Tyler where the bunk house was and introduced him to the other men.

                    ********************

For the first few days after their return, Joe seemed to do nothing but sleep. Ben had Doctor Martin come out, much to Joe’s chagrin.  He’d subjected Joe to a thorough examination, at least putting Ben’s mind at ease about Joe’s physical injuries. But Ben was concerned that Joe still seemed so listless.

On the fourth day, Ben was doing some work at his desk and Joe was reading on the settee when there was a knock on the door. Ben got up to answer it.

“Roy.” said Ben, reaching to shake his old friend’s hand. “Come in. What brings you out here?”

“Good news actually Ben.”

As Roy came in, he saw Joe. “Joe, how are you feeling?”

“Fine thanks, Roy.” Joe answered automatically.

“I’m glad you’re here, Joe. You’ll want to hear this.” Roy looked around as he sat down. “Are Adam and Hoss here?”

Ben shook his head as he took a seat. “No, they’re branding. They’ll be back this evening.”

Hop Sing came out with coffee for everyone, having heard the sheriff arrive.

Once everyone had their coffee, Ben asked, “Okay, out with it Roy. What’s this news?” Ben kept an eye on Joe, knowing the news was probably about the men who had waylaid his two sons.

Roy also looked over at Joe. I got a wire from Harleyville. The Wilson gang are dead, Joe.”

“How did it happen?” Joe asked.

“The sheriff there had received the wire from Willow Falls and he recognized them. He got some men together and they went after them. The sheriff and his men got them boxed in and well, they wouldn’t surrender.”

Joe nodded. “Are you sure it was them?” Joe asked quietly.

Ben got up and went and sat next to Joe, putting his arm around Joe’s shoulders.

“Yes Joe. We’re sure it was them. The descriptions all fit and…….” He paused for a moment. “They still had Cochise and Beauty with them.”

A smile immediately lit Joe’s face. “Really? Are they alright? Can we go and get them?” Joe jumped to his feet.

Roy laughed, having gotten the reaction he knew he would get. “There’s no need Joe. I’ve arranged to have someone bring them here for you. They’ll be here in a few days.”

Joe grabbed Roy’s hand and shook it. “Thank you so much.” He turned to his father excitedly. “Can I ride up and tell Adam?” He was already heading for the door as he asked the question.

Ben quickly grabbed Joe’s arm. “You’re not riding anywhere just yet.”

“Please pa. I want to tell Adam.”

“I’ll take you in the buckboard.” Ben said.

Joe quickly hugged his father. “Thank you.” Once again Joe headed for the door. “I’ll hitch up the team.”

Ben pulled Joe back again. Looking at Roy Ben rolled his eyes.

Taking one last look at Joe, who was pulling his father’s arm, reminding Roy of an excited child, Roy laughed. “I’ll leave you to it Ben.”

“Thanks a lot Roy.” Ben replied sarcastically as the sheriff left.

“Now Joseph, slow down.” Ben said while trying not to laugh. In truth he was overjoyed at Joe’s enthusiasm.

Ben felt a great relief that the men who had left his sons to such a cruel fate had met the end he felt they deserved. He knew Joe was feeling exactly the same way and Joe’s joy at getting his horse back was obvious.

“Come on then Joe.” Ben joked. “What are we waiting for?”

                    ********************

As Hoss released the calf, he heard the sound of the buckboard approaching. He looked up and wondered what had brought his father and Joe out.

Adam put the branding iron down as Ben drew the buckboard to a stop. Before Ben could stop him, Joe was off the buckboard and running toward his brothers.

“Adam, Adam.” He called excitedly. Adam rushed to Joe’s side, afraid that he would fall.

“What is it Joe?” Adam asked as he caught Joe in his arms.

“They got them, they got them and Roy’s got someone coming with the horses.”

Joe spoke so quickly, Adam and Hoss couldn’t understand everything he said.

“What are you saying, Joe?” Hoss asked

Ben approached them, laughing at the confused looks on his older sons faces.

Adam held Joe away from him, holding onto his right arm.

Ben patted Joe’s back and said, “Take a deep breath and slow down so your brothers can understand you.”

The smile never left Joe’s face as he said, “They got the men who robbed us Adam. They’re dead. They still had our horses. Roy’s having someone bring them home for us.”

Adam pulled Joe to him. “That’s great news, buddy.”

“Sure is.” Hoss agreed, pulling Joe from Adam and giving the boy his own hug.

Adam looked at his father. “They got them all?” he asked.

“Yes.” Ben replied.

Adam breathed a sigh of relief.

That night Ben checked on Joe before turning in for the night himself. He knew Joe was long past the age that he needed to be checked on but Ben couldn’t seem to break himself of the habit. As he opened the door and looked in, he saw that Joe was still awake. Ben went over and sat on the bed.

“Too excited to sleep, Joe?”

“I guess.” Joe replied but Ben could tell by his voice that something was troubling him.

“What is it, what’s wrong?”

Joe sat up in bed. “Pa is it wrong to feel glad that those men are dead?”

“The Wilson gang?”

Joe nodded.

“No, I don’t think it’s wrong to feel like that Joe. I feel the same way and so do your brothers. I think when someone does something as evil as they did to you and Adam that they forfeit their right to life. They’d done a lot of bad things in their lives and now they can’t hurt anyone else ever again.”

“What makes people like that Pa? Are they born bad do you think?”

“I don’t think so Joe. I think sometimes people just start down that road and once started there’s often no turning back.”

                    ********************

With the immanent return of Cochise, Joe’s mood was much improved. Ben thought Joe would burst with happiness the day Cochise was returned. Although Paul Martin hadn’t been too keen on the idea, Joe had convinced him to let him start riding again.

Up until then Joe hadn’t had much to do with Tyler Hudson. Joe was extremely grateful to him and liked him but they just hadn’t had a chance to talk much. On the way home Joe had been too ill to pay much attention to anything and once home he’d spent most of his time inside but once Joe was up and around again he found that Tyler was great company.

Joe still couldn’t do much with one arm still in a sling but he hated being cooped up inside so one day Ben sent him to show Tyler around the ranch so that if Tyler was sent somewhere he would know where to go, but it was actually more just to get Joe out of the house. As Joe and Tyler rode, they talked.

“Where are you from, Tyler?” Joe asked.

“San Francisco. I left there about four years ago when I was seventeen. It’s been three years since I’ve been back.”

“Do you have family there?”

“Yes, I do.” Tyler replied.

Joe thought it strange that Tyler hadn’t been back to visit his family when San Francisco was so close. “Why haven’t you gone back again? Don’t you miss your family?”

“Sometimes there’s no going back.” Tyler said wistfully to himself.

“What do you mean?” Joe asked.

Tyler hadn’t realized that he’d spoken aloud. “Never mind, it’s a long story. So what about you, Joe? How long ago did you leave school?”

Joe had the distinct impression that Tyler was changing the subject but decided not to push him. “Last year. I wanted to leave sooner but Pa wouldn’t let me and Adam was on his side.”

“That’s understandable. They just wanted you to have a good education.”

“I know, but they never let me decide anything for myself. They always know what’s best for me; in their opinion, anyway. Even now. I mean, I’ve been out of school for months now but I’m still little Joe. I think they’ll still be calling me that when I’m an old man.”

Tyler laughed but Joe didn’t take offense. For some reason he knew the other man would understand, and he did.

“I had the same problems when I was your age. They just need some time to get used to the idea that you’re growing up.”

Some of the pieces of Tyler’s life fell into place for Joe. “You said you were seventeen when you left home, is that why?”

Tyler was worried that he’d said the wrong thing. The last thing he wanted to do was encourage the boy to leave home. “Joe that was the biggest mistake I ever made. I’ve regretted it everyday since the day I left.”

Joe looked at him thoughtfully, wondering if that’s what Tyler had meant when he’d said, sometimes there was no going back. Joe was reminded of the words his father had said the night they’d learned the Wilson gang had died.

  ************

A couple of months went by and Tyler settled into the routine of ranch life. Late one afternoon Adam rode into the yard just as his father was coming out of the house. As they stood talking Adam was startled by a shot. His hand went to his gun but then he looked at his father and asked, “Joe?”

Ben smiled and answered simply. “Joe.”

Joe’s shoulder had healed much to his relief although it was still a little stiff. He had been practicing every afternoon with one of his brothers since the doctor told him he could.

Ben and Adam walked around to watch and Ben saw that Tyler was with Hoss and Joe. As Ben and Adam stood and watched, Tyler moved next to Joe and said “On the count of three. One. Two. Three.” Both men cleared their holsters quickly and both shot all their bottles accurately.

“Joseph!” Ben spoke sharply.

Ben saw the guilty look on Joe’s face as he turned and realized his father had been watching. “I didn’t know you were there, Pa.” Joe said.

“Obviously.” Ben replied angrily. “Who taught you to draw like that?” Ben threw an angry look at Hoss and Tyler.

“No one Pa.” Joe answered quickly, not wanting the others to get in trouble. I’ve been practicing myself.”

“Well that’s not something I want you to practice anymore Joseph.”

“But Pa.” Joe started to protest.

“I said no more and that’s an end to it.”

“Yes sir.” Joe replied knowing his father was waiting for an answer.

“Go and start your evening chores.”

“Yes sir.” Joe replied before flashing Hoss and Tyler an apologetic look.

After Joe had left, Hoss said, “I’m sorry Pa.”

“I expect better of you than that Hoss. You know I disapprove of Joe shooting like that. I don’t expect to see you encouraging him to do it.”

“I wasn’t.” Hoss tried to defend himself.

“You didn’t try to stop him either.” Ben replied.

“Mr. Cartwright, if there’s anyone to blame it’s me. I suggested the contest. I didn’t see the harm in it. Every boy at Joe’s age wants to be able to shoot like that. This is a hard land Mr. Cartwright. Joe has to be able to protect himself.”

“I don’t need you to tell me what I should teach my son. Joe is quiet capable of protecting himself, he doesn’t need to be able to draw like some kind of gunfighter to be able to do that. That’s a skill that would more than likely get Joseph into more trouble than it would get him out of. In future you will leave Joe’s shooting practice to myself or one of his   brothers. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes sir.” Tyler replied as Ben turned on his heel and went inside.

“I’m sorry Tyler I should have stopped you.” Hoss said.

“No, it’s my fault. Your fathers right I really shouldn’t have encouraged Joe like that.” Tyler said. “It was stupid of me.”

                    ********************

A few nights later the Cartwright brother’s were getting ready to head in to town. Things had settled down between Ben and Tyler and Tyler was going in with them. Adam was just about to leave the house to join the others who were saddling the horses.

“Keep an eye on your brother, Adam.”

“I will Pa, you don’t have to worry.” Adam knew without asking which brother his father had been referring to. Pa still worried about Joe going to the saloon.

After arriving at the Silver Dollar, the brothers and Tyler sat down to enjoy a beer. There were a few hands of poker going on which Adam and Hoss might have joined in, if Joe hadn’t been with them. They didn’t want to make Joe feel left out but knew Pa wouldn’t be happy with them if they allowed Joe to participate in a game so they were happy just to sit and talk.

 They had only been there about half an hour when Tyler had an uncomfortable feeling that someone was staring at him, before he could turn around to look he heard someone say, “Matthew Tyler, I’ve been looking for you.”

Adam, Hoss and Joe saw a look of resignation flash across Tyler’s face. Tyler slowly stood and turned to face the man. “What do you want?”

The young man who had called the name rested his hand on his gun and said, “You know what I want.”

“I’m not going to fight you.” Tyler replied.

Everyone was moving aside leaving a clear circle around the men. They could all see where this confrontation was heading and no one wanted to be caught in the crossfire.

Adam glanced at this brothers, “Hoss, go outside with Joe.”

Hoss nodded and reached to grab Joe’s arm.

Joe pulled away. “No.”

Adam knew Joe was worried about Tyler but things could erupt quickly and Adam wanted to make sure Joe was no where around if they did. “Joe, do as I say. It’ll be alright, I promise. Just do as I say.”

“Come on, Joe.” Before Joe could protest again, Hoss pulled him outside.

Adam stood his ground and looked at the stranger. ‘What’s going on?” Looking across at Tyler he asked, “Do you know him?”

Tyler shook his head, “No.”

“My Name is Drew Maxwell. Remember it, my names going to be well known in these parts soon.”

Just then Sheriff Coffee pushed through the swinging doors. “That’s enough. Take your hand off that gun or the only place your name will be known is on a tombstone. What’s going on here?”

The air was thick with tension and no on spoke. Roy looked at Adam. “Adam?”

Adam nodded at Tyler and said. “We were just having a beer when he,” Adam pointed at the young man who had called Tyler out, “tried to start something.”

Roy looked at the young stranger. “Do you have anything to say?”

He received no answer.

“I want you to pack your gear and leave town. I want you gone by tomorrow.”

Maxwell protested. “You can’t make me do that. I haven’t done anything.”

“This is my town,” Roy Coffee replied, “I can do whatever I like, now get.”

Maxwell looked at Tyler and said, “This ain’t over.” He slowly walked out of the room.

Looking at Tyler Roy said, “I still want to talk to you. Let’s go to my office.”

Hoss and Joe were anxiously waiting outside and joined the small group heading towards the jail.

                    ********************

Once everyone was seated Roy said, “Did you know him Tyler?”

“No. I’ve never seen him before.”

Roy nodded. He knew Tyler wasn’t telling him the whole truth. “But you do know what it was about, don’t you?” It was more of a statement than a question.

“Tyler didn’t do anything. It wasn’t him that started it.” Joe said, starting to get angry.

Adam put his hand on Joe’s arm. “We’ll get it sorted out.”

Looking at Tyler Adam said, “What was it about? If you don’t know him, why did he call you out and who’s Matthew Tyler?”

“Matthew Tyler is me.” Tyler replied.

“I think you better start from the beginning.” Roy said.

Tyler knew he had no choice. “When I was about sixteen I saw myself as a fast gun. I was always practicing. When I was seventeen I got in my first gunfight. I killed a man.” He looked at Roy before continuing. “It was a fair fight, I wasn’t charged with anything.”

“Is that why you left San Francisco?” Hoss asked.

Tyler nodded sadly. “Yes, my father made it clear that I was no longer welcome in his house.”

“You’re a gunfighter?” Joe said in awe.

“Don’t make it sound exciting Joe. That kind of life gets real old, real fast. Everywhere I go there’s always someone wanting to earn a reputation for themselves by taking me on. I’ve been trying to put that life behind me for over a year now but there’s always someone who finds out who I am.”

“What are you going to do now?” Adam asked.

Before Tyler could answer, Roy said, “I can make sure the kid moves on but there’s no guarantee he won’t come back.”

“Now that someone knows I’m here they’ll be others. Only thing I can do now is move on.”

“But you can’t.” Joe said. “You like it here. Why should you have to go.” Joe stood up, angry at the situation.

Tyler got up and stood next to Joe. “Joe as much as I’d like to stay I don’t have a choice. I don’t want to live that kind of life anymore. I’m sick of the killing. I can’t stay.”

Joe looked at him sadly. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too, Joe,” He looked at Adam and Hoss, “All of you. I can’t tell you how much working on the Ponderosa has meant to me. It gave me a normal life, even if it was only for a little while.”

“When will you leave?” Hoss asked.

“Tomorrow.” Tyler said simply.

“I think that’s best.” Roy Coffee said.

                    ********************

When they made it back to the Ponderosa they all went inside. With one look at their faces Ben knew something was wrong. “What’s happened?” He asked.

Once Ben had heard the whole story he looked at Tyler. “I’m disappointed you didn’t tell me all this when I first offered you a job.”

 “I know Mr. Cartwright. I’m sorry. I should have. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you. I just wanted to forget I was ever a part of that kind of life. I just hoped this time would be different and nobody would find out who I really was.”

Ben nodded. “I can understand that but that doesn’t mean I’m still not angry that you didn’t.”

“I know, sir.”

“Look at what happened in town today. My sons were with you when that play was made against you, anything could have happened. What about the times you and Joe were in town alone getting supplies. What if Adam and Hoss hadn’t been there to get Joe out of the way.”

“I can look after myself.” Joe said indignantly.

“I’m not saying that you can’t Joseph. It was just a very dangerous situation.”

They all knew Ben’s concerns were real ones.

“Where are you going to go?” Hoss asked.

“Where ever the road leads me.” Tyler replied.

“Have you ever considered going home?” Adam asked.

“I have no home.” Tyler said simply.

“I mean your fathers home. Surely he’d want to see you.” Adam said.

Tyler shook his head. “My father disowned me.”

“Have you tried to see him since then? Made any attempt to patch things up with him?” Ben asked.

“I tried. I went back about a year later. Father wouldn’t even let me in the door. I’ve had no contact with him since then. I’ve tried writing but my letters are always returned unopened.”

Joe looked at his father, feeling his throat tighten, he didn’t know what he would do if something he ever did caused his father to never want to see him again.

Ben looked at his three sons experiencing the same feeling. Though in his heart he knew he would never have been able to turn them from his door no matter what they had done.

“It must have been very hard on you.” Adam said.

“It has been but I can’t lay the blame at my father’s feet either. He warned me time and time again to be careful about the choices I made. He told me what the consequences would be.”

Tyler seemed to snap out of his reflective mood and said, “Well, no use dwelling on it now, that’s just the way it is. I better get some sleep. I’ll see you all in the morning before I leave?”

Ben nodded.

“I’ll come out with you.” Joe said.

After Joe and Tyler had left, Adam said “Joe will miss him. They’ve become good friends.”

“Yes.” Ben agreed. “I think it’s for the best that Tyler is leaving now.”

“Pa, I don’t think you have to worry about Tyler leading Joe into that kind of life, he wouldn’t do that.”

“I know he wouldn’t do it intentionally Adam, but Joseph is only young, he’s at an age where he’s very impressionable. I don’t want to take any chances. It was only a few days ago that Tyler was encouraging Joe to draw fast. And now knowing the kind of life he’s led, well I think it best he leave.”

                    ********************

As they walked towards the bunk house Joe and Tyler talked.

“I wish you weren’t going.” Joe said. “Do you think you will come back one day?”

“Maybe one day”

“If you write and let me know where you are living I could come and visit you. When Pa thinks I’m old enough.” Joe added disgruntled.

“Don’t be in a hurry to grow up and leave home Joe. It’s easy to leave but it’s not always so easy to return.”

Joe shook his head. “I don’t want to leave. I thought I could just visit.”

Tyler smiled. “We’ll see.” He knew Ben would never allow Joe to go and visit him.

                    ********************

The next morning Ben and Tyler stood talking in the great room.

“Tyler I want to talk to you about something.” Ben said.

“Joe?” Tyler asked.

“Yes. I know he has probably asked you to write but I would prefer it if you didn’t.”

“I would never do anything to hurt Joe Mr. Cartwright. He reminds me of myself when I was his age.”

“That’s the problem.” Ben said.

“I don’t think you have to worry about Joe. He’s a good kid. I don’t think he’d ever do anything that he thought would disappoint you.”

“Sometimes people do things in the heat of the moment before thinking about the consequences.”

“Yes sir.” Tyler replied knowingly. “I won’t write to Joe.”

Ben held out his hand. “Thank you. Good luck, Tyler.”

“Thank you, sir.” Tyler replied as they shook hands.

Just then Adam, Hoss and Joe came in. They had been out in the barn saddling their horses.

“Your horse is ready to go, Tyler.” Joe said quietly.

Tyler smiled. “Thanks Joe.”

They all walked outside. When Tyler reached his horse he stopped and turned around, shaking first Adam’s hand and then Hoss’ as they said goodbye. He was about to reach to shake Joe’s when they were startled by Dave, one of the hands riding into the yard.

“Mr. Cartwright part of the fence is down in the north section. If the cattle stray onto Edwards land and we don’t get ‘em off right quick we’ll never hear the end of it.” Dave said.

Ben agreed. “You’re right about that.” The Cartwright’s had been having trouble with Jake Edwards for a while and wanted to avoid more. “Well, we better get up there and round them up.”

“I’ll give you a hand.” Tyler said. With all the other hands already gone to other parts of the ranch for the day, Tyler knew they could use the help.

Ben started to protest but Tyler said, “A few hours won’t make any difference.”

                    ********************

It took all morning but finally the cattle were all rounded up with only one mishap that had brought a great deal of laughter for the three older Cartwright’s. Tyler and Joe had been pulling a cow from a mud hole on Edwards land and both young men had ended up in the mud hole.

“That’s all of them.” Tyler said.

“Thanks Tyler. We really appreciate your help. Why don’t you stay today and get an early start tomorrow.” Ben said.

“I’d like to but I guess I can’t put it off any longer. I better go now. I’ll just go back to the bunk house and get cleaned up first, I think.”

Ben tried not to laugh. “That sounds like a good idea.”

Ben and Tyler were joined by Adam, Hoss and Joe. They heard Tyler say he was leaving.

Once again Ben shook Tyler’s hand. “We seem to be making a habit out of saying goodbye.” Ben said.

“It seems that way, doesn’t it.” Tyler laughed

“Good luck Tyler. Thanks for the help.” Adam said. Turning to his brothers he said, “Let’s get to work, we still have a fence to fix.”

“Pa.” Joe said.

“Yes Joe.”

“Can I ride back to the house with Tyler?”

“Sure Joe that’s fine. I think you need to get cleaned up as well anyway. But you are not to leave the ranch.” Ben knew goodbyes were hard for Joe. He felt everything so deeply. Ben knew Joe wanted to say goodbye in private but he didn’t want him going anywhere else with Tyler. He didn’t think it was safe after what had happened in Virginia City the previous day.

“Yes Pa. Just to the house, I promise.”

Ben nodded. “We’ll see you at home once we get this fence fixed.”

                    ********************

Back at the ranch Joe stood next to Tyler who was about to mount his horse, both men had cleaned up and changed.

“I wish you weren’t going. Will you write?”

“Joe, I……….” He was interrupted by a cold voice. “I was hoping we’d meet again.”

Tyler and Joe turned at the voice and starred at the man in front of them, it was Drew Maxwell.

“What are you doing here?” Joe asked.

Joe’s hand went to his side, then he realized he hadn’t put his gun back on after he’d had his bath and changed. Joe cursed himself for his stupidity.

Maxwell saw the move and laughed.

Tyler started to ease himself away from Joe. Not wanting the boy to be in the line of fire.

“I’m not going to fight you Maxwell.” Tyler said.

“You have no choice.” Maxwell said. “If you don’t draw I’ll kill you anyway.”

“That’d be murder.” Joe said.

Without turning his head to look at Joe, Maxwell kept staring right at Tyler as he said “There are other ways.” In one swift movement he fired at Joe.

Tyler quickly looked at Joe and could see that he was clutching at his shoulder and blood was seeping through his fingers but Joe was still standing and the wound didn’t look too bad.

Tyler turned his eyes back on Maxwell. “Leave the boy alone.”

“You agree to draw against me or I’ll kill him with my next bullet.”

“No, Tyler don’t.” Joe said.

Tyler looked at Joe and smiled. “It’ll be alright Joe, don’t worry.”

Maxwell holstered his gun and started to take a few steps backwards. “On the count of three.” He said.

Joe stared across at the scene as he heard the count echo in his head. Joe saw Tyler start to pull his gun but before he could fire a shot rang out and Tyler fell. Joe started to run towards him but a bullet fired into the ground just in front of him stopped him in his tracks.

Tears pooled in Joe’s eyes as he looked over at Maxwell. “I’ll kill you for this.”

Maxwell laughed. “I think your forgettin’ that I’m the one with the gun.”

Maxwell walked over to Tyler, looking down he saw the man was still alive but he could tell by the look of the wound that Tyler wouldn’t survive. Picking up Tyler’s gun he said to Joe, “Tell them he was beaten by Drew Maxwell.”

Maxwell walked away, mounted his horse and rode away without looking back. Joe ran to Tyler and dropped to his knees beside him. As Joe heard Maxwell’s horse he looked up and screamed, “I’ll get you Maxwell. If it takes me twenty years, I swear I’ll get you.”

Maxwell didn’t even acknowledge that he heard he just kept riding.

As the tears slid from Joe’s eyes Tyler reached for his hand. “Don’t be sad Joe. It’s alright, really. I don’t have to keep looking behind me anymore.”

Joe started to rise. “I’ll go for help.”

Tyler kept a hold of Joe’s hand and pulled him back down. “No Joe. No one can help me now.”

“I’ll get him for you Tyler. I promise I will.”

Tyler shook his head. “No Joe. You mustn’t go after him.”

Joe didn’t answer and Tyler squeezed his hand. “Joe I’ve lived my life, it’s over but yours is just starting, don’t let your life turn out like mine. Maxwell isn’t worth it. I’m not worth it.”

Joe shook his heard fiercely.

Tyler was filled with dread at the thought of where this could lead Joe. “Joe I want you to promise me that you won’t go after Maxwell. Promise me Joe.”

As the tears dripped from Joe’s eyes he nodded. “I promise.”

Tyler smiled and before he could say anymore he took a last shuddering breath and was gone.

Joe wasn’t aware of the hours that passed as he sat there. His arm throbbed constantly but he pushed the pain away. He couldn’t even think, only one thing kept going through his mind, Tyler was dead. So unaware of what was happening around him, Joe didn’t hear the horses that rode into the yard.

Ben, Adam and Hoss were shocked at the scene that awaited them in the yard. Before Buck had even stopped moving, Ben was off him and running to Joe’s side.

As Ben knelt next to Joe, one glance at Tyler told him the man was dead. Ben pulled Joe around so that he could get a good look at him. Ben could see that Joe had been shot in the shoulder and blood drenched his sleeve and shirt front.

Adam and Hoss joined their father at their young brother’s side. Hoss squatted down next to Joe placing his hand gently on Joe’s back. “Joe, buddy.”

“Come on Joseph.” Ben spoke quietly as he helped Joe to stand up, he could see how upset the boy was and wanted to try and calm him down before asking questions about what had happened.

Joe stood shakily supported by his father. Hoss stood on his other side and wrapped his arm around his waist. “Come on buddy, let’s get you inside.”

Joe took a step forward but then his legs went from under him and if not for his father’s and brother’s arms he would have fallen.

“I’ll take him.” Hoss said.

“No it’s alright Hoss, I’ve got him.” Ben replied. He lifted Joe into his arms, looking over his shoulder at Adam before carrying Joe inside, he said “Get Paul.”

As Ben carried Joe into the house and up the stairs to his room he looked down and saw that Joe was starring intently at him, his eyes welling with tears. “It’s alright Joseph. We’re here now and everything’s going to be just fine.”

Joe turned his face into his father’s chest but didn’t answer.

Ben laid Joe on his bed and gently pulled the bloody cloth away from the wound, taking off Joe’s shirt he heard Joe moan in pain. “I’m sorry I’m hurting you Joe. Try and lie still for me.”

Joe pushed his father’s hand away when Ben touched the wound, sucking in his breath Joe said, “Hurts.”

Ben stopped what he was doing. Carefully sitting on the edge of the bed he gently pushed Joe’s hair back from his forehead. “I know it does Joseph, I know. The doctor will be here soon.” As he watched Joe’s eyes fluttered a couple of times and then closed.

“Pa?” Hoss asked, worried when he saw his brother’s eyes close.

Ben gently ran his hand down the side of Joe’s face. “It’s alright Hoss, he’s just passed out.”

At the sound of Adam’s footsteps Ben turned towards the door. “Where’s Hop Sing.” He shouted.

“He stayed in town last night. His Uncle’s sick, remember.” Adam replied.

“Yes, yes of course. I’m sorry, I’d just forgotten. Adam we need some water and bandages.”

“I’ll get them.”

Adam was back in a few minutes. “How does it look Pa?”

“It doesn’t look too bad. He’s lost a lot of blood. I think we’ve got it under control though.” Ben said.

“I sent Dave for Doc Martin and Roy.”

Ben nodded. “Thanks son.”

Ben set to work cleaning the wound thoroughly, glad that Joe was asleep, he hated to think he was hurting the boy even more.

Adam handed his father some bandages and said, “It looks like it happened a few hours ago, Pa.”

Ben nodded.

“Why didn’t Joe come and get us after it happened?” Hoss asked.

“He’s in shock, Hoss. He’s hurt, he’s lost a lot of blood, he probably saw Tyler die.” Ben shook his head. “He’s only sixteen years old, it’s no wonder he’s not thinking clearly.”

“Who do you think did it?” Hoss said, sure he knew the answer.

“Until Joe wakes up we can only guess what happened here but I think we all have a pretty good idea of who it was. I should never have let Joe come back here with Tyler.”

Adam put his hand on his fathers shoulder. “You had no way of knowing this would happen.”

“After the trouble in town last night, I should have been more careful. I should have kept Joe with me.” Ben said.

“Pa, as you keep pointing out to me, Joe’s not a child anymore. As much as you’d like to you can’t keep him with you constantly to keep him safe from the world.”

“He could have died Adam.” Ben’s voice shook at the very thought of it. “He could have died without any of us here with him.”

“I know Pa but he didn’t. We’re with him now and he’s going to be alright.”

“If infection……..” Ben started.

Adam cut him off. “No pa. We’ve cleaned out the wound real good and Doc’ll be here soon. Joe’s going to be okay.” Adam stated firmly.

Joe started to wake up, moving restlessly on the bed. His eyes flickered open and he just stared at his family.

Ben stroked Joe’s hair back, “Shhh, Joe. Take it easy. How do you feel?”

“I’m okay.”

“Can you tell us what happened, Joe?” Adam asked as he pulled a chair over to the side of the bed and sat down.

Joe nodded. “It was Drew Maxwell.”

The other three Cartwright’s looked at each other. It was what they had suspected.

Joe continued. “He must have been hanging around just waiting for a chance to get Tyler. Tyler didn’t want to do it but,” Joe’s voice trembled and his words trailed of.

Ben smiled encouragingly at Joe. “It’s alright son just take your time.”

Joe took a couple of deep breaths before continuing. “Maxwell shot me and then he told Tyler that if he didn’t draw against him that he’d kill me. Tyler only did it to save me. If it wasn’t for me he’d still be alive.”

Ben grabbed Joe’s arms being careful not to hurt his wounded right arm and said, “Don’t you dare blame yourself for this Joe. Tyler chose the sort of life he led.” Ben saw Joe was about to interrupt and said, “Let me finish Joseph. I know Tyler wanted to give that kind of life up and I know he really tried to make a fresh start but for all of that he was still a gunfighter and he knew there was always a chance of someone calling him out just to gain a reputation.”

“But he didn’t want to live like that anymore. Maxwell made him do it, it’s not fair.”

Ben took Joe into his arms. “No, you’re right Joe. It’s not fair.” Ben didn’t say anymore he just held Joe in his arms. After a while he felt Joe pull back and the young man looked him in the eyes.

“Pa, what’s going to happen to Maxwell?”

“I honestly don’t know Joe. I’ll talk to Roy when he gets here and I’ll see what he can do.”

Joe looked down as he said “I told Tyler I’d get Maxwell for him.”

For a moment Ben felt as if his heart had stopped. He grabbed Joe and shook him, speaking sharply. “Joseph I want you to get those thoughts out of your head now.” Ben saw Joe wince as he inadvertently hurt his arm. Ben was immediately sorry. “I’m sorry Joe I didn’t mean to hurt you but I don’t want you thinking that you owe it to Tyler to go after Maxwell.”

“Just before Tyler died he made me promise him that I wouldn’t go after Maxwell. He said he didn’t want my life to turn out like his.”

Joe allowed himself to once again be gathered into the comfort of his father’s arms. ‘He was a good man.” Ben said.

Hearing horses Adam looked out of the window. “It’s Roy and Doc. Martin.”

Ben nodded as Adam and Hoss went downstairs to greet the men.

Within a couple of minutes, Doctor Martin was upstairs. “Ben why don’t you leave me to have a look at Joe while you go down and talk to Roy.”

Ben did want to talk to Roy but he was reluctant to leave Joe.

Joe gave Ben a slight smile. “It’s alright Pa. I won’t give Doc Martin a hard time.” Joe joked, trying to stop his father from worrying.

Ben laughed. “You’d better not.” Ben ran his hand through Joe’s hair and said, “I won’t be long.”

Going downstairs Ben found Adam and Hoss had filled Roy in on what Joe had told them.

Shaking Roy’s hand Ben asked, “Well, what do you think, Roy? Is there anything we can do about Maxwell? It’s murder in my book. Tyler was forced into that gunfight.”

“I’m sorry Ben but I really don’t think there’s much I can do.” Roy said.

“Oh come on, Roy.” Adam said. “He as good as shot Tyler in cold blood.”

Roy shook his head. “That’s not the way the law sees it. It’s Joe’s word against Maxwell’s. Tyler was a well known gunfighter and that’s what it will come down to in the end.”

Ben was livid. “How do I explain to Joseph that Maxwell can get away with murder?”

No one had an answer to that.

Ben sat down. “He saved two of my sons. Adam would have died two months ago if not for Tyler and Joe,” Ben’s voice broke “and Joe today and this is how I repay him, I let his murderer go free.”

The family turned at the sound of feet coming down the stairs and Ben rose.

“He’ll be fine, Ben. He’s lost a lot of blood, he’s tired and as much as he’d try and deny it he’s hurting but a few days in bed and he’ll bounce back.”

“Thank you Paul” Ben headed for the stairs.

“I’ve given him something to help him sleep Ben.”

Ben nodded. “I just want to sit with him.”

                    ********************

A few days later Ben and Joe sat on the buckboard outside the graveyard talking. Joe had talked his father into bringing him as he hadn’t been well enough to attend the funeral.

“People will only remember him as a gunfighter who was killed but that wasn’t who he was, Pa. He was a good person.”

“There are people who will remember the real Tyler, Joe. You, me, your brothers.”

“If it weren’t for me, Tyler would still be alive.”

“Joseph, son, we’ve been through this so many times. It’s not your fault.”

“He saved my life.”

Ben put his arm around Joe’s shoulders. “Yes that’s true and I will always be eternally grateful to him for what he did for both you and Adam, but” Ben gently squeezed Joe’s shoulders “if it hadn’t been for Tyler, Maxwell wouldn’t have been at the ranch. Tyler wouldn’t have had to save your life because you wouldn’t have been in danger.”

Joe shook his head. “He saved my life twice Pa, because I couldn’t have lived with myself if Adam had died. But when Tyler needed me, I couldn’t do anything to help him. I feel so bad Pa. Why did he have to die?”

“We don’t know how our lives are going to turn out Joseph. There are all kinds of twists and turns along the way and sometimes we just take a wrong turn. Some people can find the right path again and others are lost forever. I think Tyler was happy that he found the right path before he died.”

“Do you think that we could find his family and tell them he did try to change?”

“I’ll have someone try and locate them, Joe.”

As Joe got down from the buckboard, Ben said “You take as long as you need Joe. I’ll wait here for you.”

Joe smiled at his father. “Thanks Pa.”

Joe walked over and stood in front of the grave of a man he’d only known a short time but a man who had quickly become a good friend.

“I know Pa’s right Tyler, but I still feel like I owe you. I promised both you and Pa that I wouldn’t go after Maxwell and I’ll keep my promise but if our paths ever cross again, I swear I’ll make him pay.”



THE END

November 2002


RETURN TO LIBRARY