Toby
By: Helen B
Ben Cartwright sat at the dining room
table, enjoying a quiet cup of coffee. His two eldest sons, Adam and Hoss were
out in the barn finishing their morning chores and hitching up the buckboard.
Adam was going to take Ben into
Ben smiled as he heard a noise upstairs, a signal that the quiet was about to be broken with the rising of his third and youngest son, Joseph.
Joe came downstairs still wearing his nightshirt and walked straight over to his father. “Good morning, Little Joe. Did you sleep well?” Ben asked as he picked the little boy up, placing him on his lap.
Joe didn’t say a word, his only response was to lay his head against his fathers chest, his small hand coming up to play with the tassels on Ben’s vest. Ben felt as if a hand were squeezing his heart; he knew what was wrong and he felt so guilty.
Joe hated it when his father had to go away on business and since his mothers death just a few months ago, he’d become even worse about it, not wanting his father to go away for even one day. Ben had recently received a wire that he was needed in San Francisco to see to a business matter, knowing how Joe felt and not wanting to leave the boy so soon after his mothers death, Ben had done all he could to come up with a solution to avoid the trip; to no avail.
Looking down at the top of the curly head, Ben gently patted his sons back and said, “It’ll be all right, Joe.”
Joe shook his head and through his tears
said, “I don’t want you to go,
Ben glanced over at the front door when he heard it open, Adam and Hoss walked in. Adam nodded, signalling to his father that the horses were hitched and it was time to leave.
Ben took a deep breath and gently pulled Joe back and away from him so that he could look into the little boys eyes. “Joseph, you know I don’t want to go away on this trip and if it could be avoided, I wouldn’t go. The time will pass quickly, you’ll see. I’ll be home before you know it and you’ll have both of your brothers and Hop Sing here to look after you.”
“But I want you,” Joe sobbed, throwing himself against his father and once again hugging him tightly. Ben lowered his head and rested his chin on his son’s head.
Adam walked over and squatted down on the
floor, next to his father and young brother, putting his hand on his brother’s
leg, he gently shook it, speaking softly. “Hey, come on now. We talked about
this yesterday, remember?” He saw Joe turn his head and look at him so he
continued, “You said you were going to a brave boy for
Joe’s lip trembled when he replied with the logic of a five year old, “That was yesterday. I changed my mind today.”
“Pa has to go, Joe,” Adam insisted, “You’re making him cry now. You don’t want Pa to go feeling sad, do you?”
Joe slowly looked up at his father and saw the tears shimmering in his eyes. “I’ll miss you,” Joe whispered.
“And I’ll miss you, so very much,” Ben replied as he hugged the child to him.
It had been decided that since it was
Saturday and Hoss had no school, that Hoss would stay home with Joe rather than
go into
Hoss came over and Ben stood up, handing Joe over to him. Embracing both Hoss and Joe, Ben said, “I love you both. I’ll see you when I get home.”
“Bye Pa,” Hoss replied, “Have a good trip.”
Ben ran his hand through Joe’s hair and then turned away to collect his belongings before heading for the door. With one final look over his shoulder, he saw Hoss sitting holding Joe, trying to comfort him.
Outside, Ben stood beside the buckboard, turning to Adam, he said, “Maybe I could take him with me.”
Adam shook his head. “Pa, we discussed that and you were right when you said it would be too rough a trip for him at this time of the year. Try not to worry. We’ll look after him.”
Ben nodded. “I know you will. It’s just so hard to leave him.”
**********
After seeing his father off on the stage, Adam went straight home. Quickly unhitching the horses, he saw to them and headed for the house.
Adam pushed the door open and immediately saw Hoss raise his finger to his lips and signal to the settee. Going over and looking down, Adam saw Joe sleeping peacefully. “I think he cried himself out,” Hoss said, “Pa get away all right?”
Adam nodded as he sat down. Hoss glanced over at Joe to check he was still asleep and asked, “What are you going to do now? Guess you got work to do?”
“Yeah but it can wait for one day. I thought the three of us could go fishing. Might cheer Little Joe up a bit.”
Hoss smiled. “He’d like that.”
“Lets get everything ready and when he wakes up we can go.”
After they had everything organized, Hoss went to the kitchen, to get some food from Hop Sing to take with them. Adam sat reading in a chair near the settee, out of the corner of his eye he saw his little brother stir and sit up. Putting down his book, he smiled. “Hello sleepy head.”
Joe’s lip trembled and his eyes swam with tears but before they could fall, Adam swung his brother into his arms and ran up the stairs with him. “Come on you,” Adam said cheerfully, “Let’s get you dressed! You can’t go fishing in your nightshirt.”
“Goin’ Fishin’?” Joe asked.
“That’s what I said, didn’t I?” Adam put Joe on his bed and tickled his belly, making the little boy giggle.
**********
At the fishing hole, Adam and Hoss made sure Joe was never more than an arms reach away from them, in case he fell in.
After they’d fished for a while, they sat on the bank eating sandwiches and talking. Joe stopped eating and looked behind him, a frown on his face.
“What’s up Joe?” Hoss asked.
“Heard somthin’.”
“Probably just a rabbit,” Adam said, but just in case it was something dangerous, he started to get to his feet, intending to move so that he would stand between Joe and the bush Joe was looking at; where the noise had come from. Before he had a chance to get up though, a head popped through the bushes.
“A dog!” Joe yelled excitedly as he leapt to his feet.
Hoss who was sitting next to Joe, grabbed his arm. “No, Joe. Stay here. He might be savage.”
Joe threw his sandwich to the dog who slowly crept out of the bushes and hungrily devoured it. The dog was obviously of mixed breeding with a shaggy brown and white coat, he was of medium size.
“It’s Toby,” Joe said, recognizing the dog. Joe called the dog to him. “Toby, come here boy.”
“Joe,” Adam held his breath, his hand going to the forty-five strapped to his thigh as the dog approached his brother. Adam watched nervously until the dog sat in front of Joe and happily rolled over while Joe scratched him. Adam turned to Hoss and asked questioningly, “Toby?”
“It’s old Jock Miller’s dog,” Hoss replied, “I didn’t recognize him either at first.”
Adam looked closely at the dog and realized his brothers were right. Jock Miller had died a few weeks ago and the dog had run off. Ben had often visited the old man, taking Joe with him. The old man had looked forward to the visits, always having some candy to give to Joe. Joe had loved to play with Toby while he was there. Looking at the dog now, Adam saw he was thin and unkempt looking but he was relieved to see that his personality was unchanged; he was as friendly as ever.
Joe reached behind him for the rest of the food and Adam said, “Not too much buddy, we don’t want to make him sick.”
After he’d fed the dog again, Joe looked pleadingly at his oldest brother and asked, “Can I keep him,” when Adam hesitated, Joe said, “Please Adam, please. He don’t have no home now. He’s all alone. Please.”
Adam nodded. “All right, Joe. He can come home with us.”
Joe grinned happily as he went back to stroking the dog.
**********
Hop Sing was outside feeding the chickens when the boys arrived home. He stared at the dog. “You go fishing, bring home dog. Father no say you could get dog. Where he come from?”
“It’s all right, Hop Sing,” Adam replied, “I’ll explain later. Pa will understand.”
**********
The next day the boys bathed Toby. Making sure they got all of the mud out of his coat they then gave him a good brushing. Afterwards, Adam and Hoss sat on the porch, watching Joe run around the yard with the dog. “He sure is happy to have that dog,” Hoss said.
Adam nodded. “He came in and slept with me last night, he was crying for Pa but hopefully Toby will help keep his mind occupied through the day and off missing Pa so much.”
**********
Three weeks later, Hop Sing stood at the kitchen door and watched as Joe threw a stick and Toby fetched it, neither seemed to tire of the game. “Little Joe,” Hop Sing called out to the boy, “I leave bucket in barn this morning. You get for Hop Sing please.”
“Sure Hop Sing,” Joe called back as he ran towards the barn, calling Toby to come with him. “Come on, Toby.”
Joe went inside the barn and across to the other side to reach the bucket, as he turned to go back towards the door, Toby growled, the hair standing up all along his back.
“Toby,” Joe said, frightened of the way the dog was behaving. “Toby, what is it boy? What’s wrong?” Joe looked nervously around the empty barn; the horses were all outside in the corral. Then Joe heard a growling that he knew wasn’t coming from Toby. Suddenly out of the shadows a dog leapt at him. In that instant, Toby sprang at the other dog, knocking it off it’s feet. As the dogs fought, Joe dropped the bucket and ran for the house, yelling as loud as he could. “Hop Sing! Help! Hop Sing!”
Hop Sing came running outside, knowing by the sound of the boy’s voice that something terrible had happened. “What wrong?” he asked as the boy reached him.
“A dog. Toby’s fighting a dog in the barn. Please help him Hop Sing.”
Hop Sing quickly lifted the boy into his arms and ran into the house with him. Reaching the gun cabinet, he put Joe down and said firmly, “Stay here.” Grabbing a gun, he quickly loaded it and ran outside.
Cautiously entering the barn, Hop Sing looked around, the only sound was a whimpering coming from the back of the barn. Hop Sing crept forward. When he reached the sound, he saw Toby, hurt and bleeding. Looking around to make sure the other dog wasn’t in the barn, he lifted Toby into his arms and carried him into the house.
Joe came running into the kitchen when he heard the door and burst into tears at the sight of the bleeding dog.
Hop Sing put the dog down and tried to comfort the boy. “I try to fix.You help Hop Sing.”
**********
When Adam rode into the yard late that afternoon, he was surprised when he didn’t see Joe and Toby as they were usually outside playing. As he was dismounting, Hoss came out of the house and called to him. “Adam.”
Seeing the look on his brother’s face, Adam’s heart leapt. “What’s wrong? Has something happened to Joe?”
Hoss shook his head. “No, Joe’s fine. It’s Toby.” Hoss told Adam what Hop Sing and Joe had told him when he’d arrived home from school.
Calling to a hand who had just entered the yard, Adam told the man to put away his horse and rushed into the house with Hoss.
Toby was lying on a blanket beside the fire; Joe was sitting beside him. Adam immediately lifted the little boy into his arms. “Are you all right?” he asked anxiously as he felt Joe tremble.
Joe nodded. “Toby saved me,” Joe’s voice shook as he continued, “I was frightened.”
Adam sat down in a chair, with Joe in his lap. “I bet you were. I sure would have been.” Adam unbuttoned Joe’s cuffs and pushed the sleeves up. “The other dog didn’t bite you, did he?” Adam knew Hop Sing and then Hoss would have already checked but his mind was reeling with what could have happened.
Joe shook his head. “No. He didn’t,” he looked down at Toby, “he hurt Toby, but.”
Adam moved to sit on the floor, Joe still on his lap. Adam reached out and stroked the dog. “Good boy,” he murmured, quietly.
**********
Later that night, after Joe had gone to bed, Adam and Hoss were sitting in the great room. Adam glanced at Toby and then looked at Hoss. “You know that other dog might have had rabies.”
“I know, Adam. I’ve been thinkin’ the same thing. What’ll we do? It’d break Little Joe’s heart. He loves that dog.”
“I know but we can’t take the risk. Tomorrow, I’ll take the horses out of the barn again and we’ll tie him up in there, until we know,” Adam paused and swallowed hard, “one way or the other.”
**********
The next day, Adam and Hoss made Toby a comfortable bed in the barn, both of them putting of an explanation to Joe about why they were doing it. When the time came to move Toby to the barn, Joe became upset. “But why can’t he stay inside. He’s hurt. He won’t be any trouble. Please let him stay inside.”
Sitting down beside the little boy on the floor, the two older brothers tried to explain. “Joe,” Adam began, “that other dog that was here yesterday might have been sick and if he was, it’s possible he passed on the sickness to Toby when he bit him.”
Joe looked up at Adam. “Well, if Toby’s sick, he should be in here with us, not by himself in the barn.”
Adam reached out and pulled Joe into his arms. “Little Joe, I know it’s hard for you to understand but this sickness is really bad. If Toby’s got it, he’ll turn savage. He wouldn’t mean to but he could hurt you, Joe. We can’t take that risk. We need to keep Toby locked in the barn until we know if he has it.”
Joe nodded slowly but Adam and Hoss weren’t sure that really understood.
“Little Joe,” Hoss said, “this is real important. You mustn’t go near Toby until we say you can.”
Joe frowned and Adam gently held his chin with the fingers and thumb of his right hand as he looked into the child’s eyes and said, “Promise me, Joe. Promise you won’t go near Toby until we say you can.”
“I promise,” Joe said softly.
Adam put Joe down on the floor and signalled Hoss to help him lift the blanket that Toby was lying on so they could carry the dog to the barn. Joe reached out and stroked the dog’s head. “It’ll be all right, boy. I’ll see you soon.” The tears slipped slowly down his face as his brothers carried the dog outside.
**********
Adam had the hands search for the dog that had attacked Toby. He didn’t want it coming back to the house, worried for Joe’s safety. He didn’t think it could have gotten far as he knew it must have been hurt too. Two of the hands found it’s dead body. They were unable to tell if it had rabies.
Everyday, Joe asked to be allowed to go and see Toby and everyday his brothers refused. Adam and Hoss were keeping a close eye on the dog and looking after him, his wounds were healing well. Each time they checked the dog, they both felt an over whelming sense of relief that he was showing no symptoms of rabies.
One afternoon, Joe was sitting outside on the porch waiting for one of his brothers to come home so he could once more ask to see Toby. He heard Toby start to bark and grew worried that something was wrong. Wanting only to check that Toby was all right, Joe walked over to the barn and pulled the door open.
Joe entered the barn and started to approach the dog. Suddenly Toby charged at him, barking madly, he was only stopped when the rope became taut and pulled him back, stopping just short of where Joe stood.
Suddenly Joe was pulled off his feet and he realized he was in Adam’s arms. Adam hurried outside, shutting the door behind him. “What were you doing in there? You were told to stay out!” Adam shouted, terrified by the thought of what could have happened.
Hop Sing came running out of the house, having heard all the noise. He saw Adam hurrying towards the house, carrying his crying young brother. Reaching Hop Sing, Adam thrust Joe into the man’s arms. “Take Joe upstairs and stay with him until I come up.”
Hop Sing nodded, he didn’t know what had happened but at the sound of the barking dog, he guessed what was wrong and what Adam was going to do. As Hop Sing carried him upstairs, Joe kept saying that he was sorry but for what, Hop Sing didn’t know.
Hop Sing sat on Joe’s bed, the boy in his arms. Joe jerked as the sound of a gun was heard outside. Pulling free from Hop Sing, Joe ran to the window, he was just in time to see Adam come out of the barn carrying his rifle.
Adam heard his brother scream and jerked his head up to Joe’s window. His heart twisted as he saw the little boy looking down at him. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to clear his head. He prayed for the right words to make Joe understand why he’d had to do it and then went in to face him.
**********
The first thing Hoss noticed when he got home from school was the open barn door. Going over, he looked inside and saw no sign of Toby. With a sinking heart, he quickly saw to his horse and headed towards the house.
Adam was sitting in a chair, a book in his hands but he wasn’t reading, he was just staring at the pages. He looked over when he heard the door.
“I saw the barn was empty,” Hoss said.
Adam nodded. “I had to shoot him. I buried him out back under a tree.” Adam fought to keep from crying as he told his brother what had happened.
After Adam told Hoss how Joe had seen him come out of the barn, he shook his head and said, “I just wish it hadn’t happened like that. He’s only a little boy, he doesn’t understand.”
“What did he say when you went up to see him?”
“As soon as I walked in the room he just yelled at me to go away, I tried to talk to him but he just got too upset. He won’t talk to me. Won’t have anything to do with me. There was nothing I could do to comfort him, he doesn’t even want me near him,” Adam wiped his eyes, “Hop Sing is upstairs with him.”
“I’ll go up and see him,” Hoss said sadly.
Hoss quietly opened the bedroom door, Joe was sitting on Hop Sings lap and at the sound of the door opening, he turned his head to face the wall thinking it would be Adam. Hoss walked over and lifted Joe into his arms. Hop Sing patted the little boy on the back and said, “It be all right.” Looking at Hoss he said, “I go make food. Everyone eat. Everyone feel better.” Hoss nodded but he didn’t think that was going to be true this night.
Hoss sat down and hugged his brother to him. “I’m real sorry about Toby, punkin. I know how much he meant to ya.”
Joe sniffed, trying to stop the tears. “I hate him,” Joe cried brokenly.
Hoss knew who Joe was talking about and said, “No, you don’t Little Joe. You’re just upset. Ol Adam just did what he had ta. You have ta understand that Joe. He’d never deliberately hurt ya for the world.”
“I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!” Joe screamed. Hearing a noise, Hoss turned his head and saw Adam standing in the doorway. Blinking back tears, Adam turned and walked away as Hoss tried to calm Joe down.
**********
A week later, came the day of Ben Cartwright’s arrival home and Adam drove the buckboard into town to pick him up.
Ben’s face broke into a smile when he stepped down from the stage and saw his eldest son. Ben shook the outstretched hand and then pulled the young man into an embrace. Pulling back and looking around, Ben asked, “Where are your brothers?” It was a Saturday and Ben had thought all three of his boys would be there to meet him.
“I’ll explain on the way home,” Adam answered.
**********
“And he hasn’t spoken to you since that day?” Ben said, when Adam had finished telling him what had happened while he’d been away.
Adam shook his head sadly, “No. He won’t have anything to do with me. He’s been going in to Hoss at night and sleeping with him.” Ben saw the hurt in the young mans eyes. At night when Joe couldn’t sleep, it was usually Adam’s room that he wandered in to. Adam swallowed before continuing, “Hoss has tried to talk to him about it, Hop Sing too but Joe just gets so upset. I just don’t know what to do,” Adam looked down as he spoke of his greatest fear, “What if he never forgive me?”
“He will, Adam. Joe loves you. He’s upset with you right now, but I know that the loves still there. When he understands why you had to do it, he’ll realize there’s nothing to forgive. You did the only thing you could, Adam. You had no choice.”
Adam shook his head. “That’s just it,
Ben reached over and put his hands on his sons, pulling the horses to a stop so they could just sit and talk.
“We can’t live our lives by what if’s, Adam. When you let Joe keep that dog, it was the right thing to do. I would have done exactly the same thing; I would have let him have it. You had no way of knowing what would happen.”
“I know you’re right,” Adam replied, “but it doesn’t make me feel any better.”
“What if Toby hadn’t been there when Joe went in the barn?” Ben asked quietly.
Adam felt the bile rise in his throat and
swallowed hard. “I can’t even bare to think about it,
“I know, son. I know,” Ben replied quietly.
**********
Joe and Hoss were waiting on the porch. As much as he wanted to see his father, Joe had refused to ride in with Adam so Hoss had stayed home with him. Now, at the sight of his father, Joe raced towards the buckboard. Adam pulled the horses to a halt and Ben quickly stepped down. He was just in time to catch the boy as he threw himself into his father’s arms.
While still holding onto Joe, Ben reached out and embraced Hoss.
“Welcome home, Pa,” Hoss said.
“Thank you, son. It’s good to be back.”
Ben realized Joe was crying and gently patted his back as he said to his two older sons, “We’ll catch up on all the news later. Right now, I better see to Joe.”
Adam and Hoss both nodded and watched as their father carried their brother inside. Turning they led the horses to the barn, intending to give father and son time to talk in private.
Inside, Ben just sat in his chair, rubbing the little boy’s back and making soothing noises until finally the tears stopped and Joe said, “I missed ya so much.”
“I know,” Ben replied, “I missed you just as much.”
Looking at his father, Joe’s lip began to tremble and he said, “Adam killed Toby.” Ben watched dismayed, as the tears started again.
Ben rose from his chair and gently rocked Joe as he walked. “I know son and we need to talk about that. Shhh, it’s all right.” When the sobs stopped, Ben sat back down with Joe in his lap and wiped the tears away.
“Joseph,” Ben began, “I know both of your brothers have tried to explain to you why Adam had to shoot Toby,” Joe shook his head and tried to pull away but Ben turned Joe back towards him and continued, “Your brother did the only thing he could do. Toby was sick. The sickness sent him mad, Little Joe. He would have hurt you if he hadn’t been tied up in the barn. There was nothing else Adam could have done. Nothing.”
Joe shook his head and whispered, “I promised Adam that I wouldn’t go in the barn to see Toby until he said that I could,” Joe’s voice broke on a sob at his next words, “I broke my promise so Adam killed Toby.”
“What! No, Joe,” Ben looked intently into the small boy’s face, “No, son. That had nothing to do with it. Toby couldn’t have lived. Once an animal has the kind of sickness Toby had, there’s nothing anyone can do. Adam knows how much you loved Toby, Little Joe, and he’d have given anything not to have had to shoot him but he had to kill Toby before he hurt someone.”
Joe shook his head. “Toby wouldn’t have hurt me.”
“Joe, Toby wouldn’t have known what he was doing. You think about it, son. Just before Adam pulled you away from him in the barn, Toby went for you, didn’t he?”
Joe’s eyes filled with tears and he slowly nodded. “He didn’t mean to, Joe,” Ben said gently, “It was the sickness that made him do that. That’s why you must always be careful around animals like dogs. Always check with me or one of your brothers before you go near one, in case it has the sickness.”
Joe nodded solemnly and then blinked back tears and asked, “Toby got it from the other dog, in the fight?”
Ben nodded. “Yes, son.”
“He saved me. He wouldn’t have got bit, otherwise.”
“That’s not your fault, Joe. Toby loved you so he did what he did to protect you. And I’m so very glad that he did. I know it was a sad way for Toby’s life to end but for those weeks you had him, you gave him a good home and he knew he was loved again. Toby’s in heaven now with Mr Miller.”
“Do you think so?” Joe asked, as he laid his head on his fathers chest.
Ben’s arms encircled the boy and he replied, “I know he is.”
**********
Joe lay sleeping in his father’s arms and Ben looked down when he felt the boy stir. Joe opened his eyes and smiled up at his father. “Did you finally decide to wake up,” Ben said, as he smiled back at the boy, “Did you have a good sleep?”
Joe nodded and turning his head he saw his older brothers playing a game of chess. When Adam and Hoss had come inside, Joe was already asleep and Ben had told them that Joe had come to terms with Toby’s death but Adam was still worried about his little brothers feelings towards him.
Joe slipped off his fathers lap and went over to his oldest brother. Putting his small hands on the young mans arm. “I’m sorry I was mean to you, Adam. I know you only did it ‘cause you had to. Pa told me you had to do it ‘cause Toby was sick and not ‘cause I broke my promise to you.”
Adam picked Joe up and put him on his lap as he asked, “What do you mean, Joe? What promise?”
“I promised you that I wouldn’t go in the barn to see Toby until you said I could but he started to bark and I was worried somethin’ was wrong. I only wanted to check on him,” Tears pooled in Joe’s eyes and slowly slipped down his face as he said, “I’m sorry I broke my promise.”
Adam found it a struggle to stop his own tears as he said, “Oh, Joe. You didn’t think I shot Toby because you broke your promise, did you?” At his brother’s silent nod, Adam shook his head. “I only wanted you to stay away because I didn’t want Toby to hurt you. I’m not angry with you about the broken promise. I know you were just worried about Toby.”
Joe sniffed and blinked away his tears. “I know that now. Pa splained it to me.”
Adam smiled at his brother’s pronunciation of the word. He felt Joe’s arms tighten around him and Joe said, “I should have listened to you when you tried to tell me. I really am sorry.”
Adam automatically tightened his own arms around his brother. “I know. It’s okay, really.” He moved a hand to Joe’s head and running his fingers through his brothers hair, he said, “It’s lucky we have Pa to splain things to us so we can get it all sorted out, isn’t it.” Adam felt Joe nod his head and he looked over at his father. “Thank you,” Adam mouthed silently.
**********
That night, Adam woke when he felt someone climb into his bed and then a quiet voice asked, “Can I sleep with you?”
Adam ruffled Joe’s hair and then pulled him close as he replied, “Of course you can.”
“I love you, Adam,” Joe said sleepily, as he closed his eyes.
“I love you too, Joe,” Adam whispered as he smiled down at the sleeping boy.
The End
January 2004