BUT WHY PA ?
This isn’t meant to be serious – I just thought I do
something funny for a laugh. The title
of the story will become more obvious as your read further down the page. Not my usual stuff and not intended to be
the way of my future stories. Just a
poke in fun at our favourite family.
The shouts could
be heard coming from inside the house before Adam and Hoss even reached the
front door handle to the house. It
wasn’t unusual for the two older brother to return after a hard day’s work only
to find themselves listening to the heated arguments between their father and
youngest sibling. Tonight however, the
level of the voices seemed to be raised even more so.
“But why can’t I
go Pa,” Adam and Hoss heard Joe ask his father. They could tell by the strain of the young
man’s voice that he was slowly losing control over his temper.
“Because I am your
father and I am telling you that you cannot go Joseph,” Ben said as his own
frustration began to boil over.
“That’s what I
have been hearing all night Pa but it still isn’t a good enough reason,” Joe
whined as he pouted his lips, making sure that he was standing just right in
the light so that his handsome tanned face could be seen at all times.
“What’s going on
here Pa?” Adam now interrupted. He
didn’t like seeing his father and brother fighting but lately because it was an
almost regular occurrence, Adam found himself and often Hoss being brought
right into the middle of whatever the argument was about. He needed what they were fighting about on
this particular night before the same thing happened again.
“Not that it is
any of your business anyway Adam,” Joe said in his best snobbish voice. “But I want to go into town and have some fun
for the night in
“Like Pa said Joe,
that’s not an entirely good idea,” Hoss said taking Ben’s side.
“Whose side are
you on Hoss?” Joe demanded of his older brother. He normally could rely on Hoss to take his side on almost any topic and
he had covered his behind for being in trouble more times than he would rather
admit to.
Actually as Hoss
thought back now, there weren’t too many times in his life that he could
remember taking Ben’s side rather than his brother Joe. “I am just remembering what happened the
last time you decided to go into town for some fun Joe, that’s all,” Hoss said
sheepishly as he tried to smooth things over before his brother was fighting
with him too.
“And the time
before that and the time before that,” Adam said, unable to keep his comments
to himself and always at the ready to chastise his younger brother’s sense of
what was right and wrong wherever he could.
“You just stay out
of this Adam,” Joe said hotly to his eldest brother.
“Look KID don’t bite
off more than you can chew,” Adam now said, standing up in front of hisbrother,
letting his height work to his advantage.
He made sure that he emphasised the word“Kid”.
Joe wasn’t
deterred by his brother’s strong arm tactics however and now stood in front of
Adam glaring directly back at him.
But something wasn’t right here.
The height difference was more noticeable than most days today.
“This isn’t right
David,” Michael said to the director off stage, pointing in the direction of
his shoes.
The Director
quickly came to Michael’s rescue and had a costumer replace the man’s shoes
with ones that had higher lifts in them.
Now when Joe looked at his brother, he was almost eye to eye level.
“Much better,” Joe
commented and then went back to his regular performance of arguing with his older brother.
“Now I have
forgotten my line,” Michael said in a huff to Pernell, “And it’s all your
fault.”
“This is the part
where you stomp your way to your room Mike,” Dan Blocker said in a whisper,
trying to help his friend out with his lines.
“Oh yeah,” Joe
said as his eyes lit up when he remembered what he was supposed to say.
“You always want
to treat me like a little kid still Pa,” he said with the correct pronunciation
on the right syllables. With that he now walked over to the
staircase and made sure that his family heard each disapproving stomp on each
step. The sound of his new set of shows
echoing back to those still standing in the living room set.
The scene ended
with the resounding of the bedroom door slamming. “I’ll go talk to him Pa,” Adam offered.
“Not right now
son,” Ben replied. “I know you are the
best at trying to get people to sort their problems out by talking about them
around here. But in this case I think
you had better let your younger brother simmer down for a while first.”
“I am the one with
the college education after all Pa,” Adam said as he went back to the table and
sat down to have a cup of coffee.
“Fat lot of good
it does around here,” Hoss remarked before heading out of the house towards the
corral fence. Hoss always sought the
solitude that the early evening offered to try and think through what his
family was fighting about.
It also got him away
from that big-noting brother of his who was always putting his college
education in front of his face. Hoss
had never wanted to go to college. He
didn’t even like school the first time.
But Adam took pride in showing off his knowledge where it wasn’t wanted
on the ranch.
“What are you
going to do right now Pa?” Adam asked as he watched his father sit down in his
favourite blue leather chair.
Lorne didn’t know
why they called it his favourite chair though.
It was just the one that all the writers put into his scenes. The thing was so uncomfortable. It had a spring loose on the seat that got
Ben every time he sat down on the blessed thing. The back of the chair was curved and
caused his lower back to ache whenever he got up again.
On a few occasions
he had been bent forward in this position as Victor Seng had entered the living
room set. The little oriental man had
thought that Lorne was bowing out of respect towards him and returned the gesture. Lorne didn’t have the heart to tell the man
that the reason he was bent over was his aching back not his respect of
Victor’s culture.
Lorne had even
asked the prop supervisor to have the uncomfortable piece of furniture replaced
with something a little more modern. It
could be still the same blue colour but with a little more padding in the right
area would be most appreciative. The
prop supervisor had told Lorne that it was out of his hands and something to do
with the budget of the show and that there was nothing he could do with
replacing the chair.
Later on that
evening, Hop Sing announced that dinner was served. Hoss walked up to Joe’s bedroom door and
knocked and waited for a response from his brother.
“About time,
there’s nothing to do back here you know,” Joe commented as he showed Hoss the
room
that was supposed
to be his bedroom.
Actually the door
opened into a store room that was now almost vacant. The other scenes of him getting dressed or
laying in his bed was usually filmed on another set. The same set was also used for Hoss’s, Ben’s
and Adam’s bedroom. The furniture was
just changed slightly each time and moved about the room to make each appear
different to the audience.
“Sorry Mike, maybe
one day you will actually get a real room of your own,” Dan said with a chuckle
before falling back into his character role.
“Pa says to come down to supper anyway.
TO BE CONTINUED -
Need to know if
people really like this idea from me.
Please let me know
what you think – if people like it I will keep adding to it and repost this
part along with the rest I have in mind.
What you see above is the basic recipe following how I might plan out my
usual Bonanza stories adding in the funny parts along the way.
I intend to change
from their real names to their character names as is necessary. I definitely intend to poke fun at Adam and
Joe quite a bit as well as the rest of the cast.
This is in no way
intended to infringe on what the Giggly sisters do when they write.
This is intended
to be a one off funny spoof of a fanfiction story.
Hope you all will
read it.
JULES