ANDROMEDA
By Julie
Jurkovich
December,
2000
Note: I have taken some liberties with the time of
the episode "The Stranger," and set it a few years earlier than it
was in the show. There are a few
references to the story "Lavender and Lace," but this story may be
read independently.
*******
Joe was
waiting for Adam. He sat astride Cochise
like a statue at the crest of the hill.
His leather coat lined with wool was buttoned up to his chin and the
collar turned up over his neck. His
black hat sat low over his forehead, and he beat his gloved hands against his
thighs to warm them in the brisk wind.
Cochise started at the sound, and pranced nervously. Joe tightened his knees against him, and
stopped his horse from running down the hill.
Adam was
late. Joe wasn't sure why. This worried him, because his older brother
was seldom late. Probably it was
nothing more serious than a few stray cattle that didn't want to be driven to
the lower pastures, but Joe still worried.
Those stray cattle had initially been stolen by some
entrepreneuring rustlers, probably
attempting to raise some cash and get some fresh beef for a trip over the
Sierras to
Joe hadn't
been with his father and brother when the rustlers were cornered. He was at Doc Martin's office in Virginia
City, recovering from a bar room brawl. He had been punched in the face, kicked
in the back, and would have been beaten even more severely if Adam hadn't stepped
in with the sheriff and put a stop to it.
Joe was
still smoldering now, a few weeks after that stranger, Charles LeDuc, had
waltzed arrogantly into town, throwing his name about and intimidating his
father. When Ben had told his youngest
son that this man held compromising information about Joe's mother's past, Joe had challenged the man (against Ben's
wishes), and that had nearly cost him his own and his father's lives.
Joe knew
that if he hadn't run so mindlessly to LeDuc, his father may have had time to
prove the man's claim of murder to be a fraud.
Instead, through Joe's youthful impatience and hastiness, Ben had been
forced to rescue his youngest son by offering himself in his son's place.
Joe
berated himself. Why had he done
that? Why had he run to LeDuc,
threatening him with murder if he spread rumors of Marie? A fight had ensued between Joe and LeDuc's
hired man, Tom Cole. When Cole drew on
him, Joe had no choice but to shoot him.
He hadn't meant to kill him. It
just happened. Then, when LeDuc gloated
over him, saying he would be able to tell his story of Marie and her alleged
lover, Simon LaRoche, thus ruining his father's reputation, Joe had panicked
and run.
LeDuc, of
course, claimed that Joe had shot Cole in cold-blooded fury. Fortunately, Ben's level head and calmness in
the face of emergencies had prevailed, and he managed to convince his son not
to run away. Ben had convinced LeDuc to drop the assault charges against Joe by
promising to accompany the Inspector to
Rumors of
Marie's past had spread throughout Virginia City in the meanwhile, and Joe
found himself compelled to defend his mother's good name. He was in town to blow off some steam when he
got in his latest fight. Ben, unable to
keep his restless and angry youngest son home, but worried that he might get
into more trouble than he could handle during this hot-headed state, had sent
Adam to town to look after his brother. After Adam had left, some of Ben's
neighbors came by with the news about the cattle rustlers, and he and Hoss headed out to help track them
down.
Joe closed
his eyes at the distressing memory of Tom Willis's grieving widow and stunned
children at the funeral. Tom had made a
fairly nice start with his small ranch and farm. They had made enough money and raised
sufficient crops to feed and clothe themselves, as well as put a little by for
the future. But how would they manage
now that Tom was dead? Of course, Ben
had offered his own and his sons' help, but Tom's widow had been too deeply buried
in her grief to respond, and was too proud to accept charity, anyway.
Joe was
painfully aware that his foolishness in town that day could very well have cost
his brothers and father their lives.
Adam might have been seriously hurt along with him, and his and Adam's
presence with the other ranchers against the rustlers might have made the
difference in that fight. Perhaps Tom
wouldn't have been killed. Maybe no one
would have died. The cattle might not
have been scattered. Adam wouldn't have
had to go on a two-day trip to find them.
He would be home, and Joe wouldn't be worrying that something else had
gone wrong.
Maybe
nothing had happened. Perhaps he was
simply worrying for no good reason.
Joe again
beat his hands on his thighs to bring some feeling into his legs and
fingers. The wind whipped about him, blowing
his curls from under his hat and cutting through his coat like a keen-edged
knife. Clouds raced across the sky,
casting fleeting shadows on the hills about him. Cochise pranced restlessly. Joe leaned forward and spoke softly to his
mount, attempting to calm him, before he took one last look around for
Adam. "All right, come on,"
he told his horse when his brother was nowhere in sight. "Let's go back in the trees and wait for
him there." He rode reluctantly
down the hill and into a small grove of pine trees near a stream in between two
small hills.
It was
warmer out of the wind, and Cochise blew and whinnied with relief. "I know," agreed Joe. "But I can see him coming from the hill. I can't see him down here." He dismounted and tied Cochise to a pine
sapling. His boots crunched through the snow that still clung to the ground
under the trees as he strode restlessly
about the edge of the grove. Where was
his brother?
Ben had
noticed a few days ago that two of the steers had broken through one of the
fences. They hadn't gone far, and Ben
had been able to get them back through with little additional damage to the
fence, which he hastily repaired. But it
needed better repair, and quickly, before the snow came again. Ben had told Joe to meet Adam as he returned
with the cattle, help him finish driving them to pasture, and enlist his help
in repairing the fence. Joe had left the
supplies by the fence where the repair was needed and had ridden out to await
his brother.
Joe sighed
in frustration as he looked at the sun.
If he didn't leave now, it would be well after dark before he arrived
home. He mounted Cochise and headed for
the fence. Snow from the most recent
storm still lay in patches on the frozen ground. Yesterday, when Adam had left, the
temperature had come a little above
freezing, turning much of the ground to mud, but it was getting colder
again. Probably another storm blowing in
tomorrow or the day after. All the more
reason to get that fence repaired.
Joe was
not looking forward to doing this by himself.
He could mend a fence, of course, but it took longer alone. He might have to take off his gloves to
handle the wire and nails, and would rather have some help before he
froze. He could do the job properly, but
two could do it better. His head began
to throb behind his right eye, and he gingerly held his cold glove up to his
discolored, swollen eye. "My
prize," he thought grimly, "from my most recent fight." His back, still tender from the kick he had
received, was also reminding him that he'd been hard at work and in the saddle
most of the day while still recovering from his injuries.
The man in
front of Adam wore a dark blue uniform.
At first, Joe thought he was a Union officer, but he quickly saw that
couldn't be so. His trousers, instead of
being tucked into boots, came all the way down to his feet. He wore low-heeled black shoes that showed
signs, despite a little mud and grime on them now, of being recently shined. His blue dress jacket was of a style that Joe
had never seen.
He hurried
down the hill to his brother, dismounted, and took the man as Adam eased him
from his horse. Adam stiffly and
awkwardly slid off of Sport, careful not to let the stranger fall from his
arms, and together they lifted him onto Cochise, after which Joe mounted
carefully. "Where did you find
him?" he asked Adam.
"At
the edge of the Ponderosa," said Adam.
"He was lying in some snow, in a shallow depression in the ground,
right by the fence." Adam was
breathing hard. He was grimy and covered
with mud from head to toe. Sport's white
socks were barely visible. He tossed his
head impatiently while his master spoke with Joe, snorted, and hung his head
near the ground, trying to eat a bit of shriveled grass at his feet. Adam took hold of the reins and
remounted. Sport turned in a circle and
shook his head. "I had a dickens of
a time getting him back here, and herding those cattle at the same time."
The two
brothers headed up the hill. Adam went
in pursuit of the cattle, while Joe followed more slowly. Once he was down the hill, he looked more
carefully at the man before him. A
silver eagle decorated each shoulder of his jacket. On each lapel were the initials "
Joe
managed to help his brother get the weary cattle through the gate. When it was shut after them, Adam sighed in
relief, drew his grimy hand across his
brow, and ran his fingers through his black hair. "Thanks, little brother," he said
gratefully. "I thought I'd never
get them home." His hazel eyes
moved toward the soldier in front of Joe.
"Especially not with him."
"What
happened to him?" asked Joe.
"I
have no idea," replied Adam.
"He doesn't seem to have any injuries, at least not current ones,
that I can see. He has some scars on his
face -" he turned the man's head so Joe could see what he was talking
about - "but those are from old injuries.
He hasn't been hit in the head that I can tell. There's no lump on his head. And he doesn't appear to have any broken
bones. But he hasn't moved, or made a
sound, since I found him."
"Is
he -"
"He's
still alive, yes. At least, he was when
I found him." Adam smiled grimly
and put his hand to the side of the stranger's neck. He nodded.
"Still alive." He
looked closely at Joe. "What brings
you out here? Did Pa send you?"
A
frustrated laugh disappeared in a puff of steam in the cold wind. "Yeah.
He did. Pa told me to wait for
you here. He figured you'd be coming
this way, judging by what direction you had to go to get the cattle. I was supposed to help you finish driving
them in, and then you were supposed to help me mend the fence a few of them
broke through the other day. Pa already
did a temporary fix, but it needs more, before the next storm hits. I was just on my way to tend to it myself as
best I could, when I heard the cattle come over the hill behind me. It really needs two of us to straighten the
posts and string the wire properly."
Joe looked
down at the stranger before him as he finished speaking. He looked up, and met Adam's hazel eyes. There was no need to debate the matter. They had to get this man indoors. "Trouble is," said Joe, "I
left the supplies by the fence. We can't
leave them out overnight." He
described where the section needing repair was.
"We'll
go home that way, and pick them up," said Adam. "Come on."
As they
rode, Adam asked, "What are Hoss and Pa up to?"
"They
had to go after some cattle that slid down that bank - you know, the one with
the big overhang - by the stream. I was
helping them yesterday and earlier today, but this afternoon, Pa said he and
Hoss would finish driving the cattle away from there, and he told me to come
wait for you, help with the cattle, and mend that fence."
Adam
looked at the sun already descending to the horizon. "By the time we get home, it will be too
late for anyone to come out and take care of it."
Joe
nodded. "Pa wanted to get it
finished before the next storm. It seems
another one may be blowing in."
"Yes,
probably tomorrow or the day after." Adam looked steadily ahead of
him. "Think you can carry him the
rest of the way home?" He looked questioningly at his brother.
"Yeah,
sure," said Joe, a little indignantly, thinking his oldest brother still
thought of him as a little kid. Weary
with his long trip, the cold weather, and very preoccupied, Adam said nothing
for the remainder of the ride home.
Adam
mulled over what he had seen and heard - rather, what he THOUGHT he had seen
and heard - as he rode. What with the
job of driving weary, unwilling cattle through the snow, mud, and ice, combined
with the burden of the limp stranger in
his arms, he hadn't had much occasion to think on the strange circumstances of
this soldier's appearance. He had been
driving the cattle from the high country, where they had scattered when he and
the other men apprehended the rustlers, and had just come in sight of the
Ponderosa, when he saw a flash of light.
He had blinked quickly, and it was gone.
He told himself that perhaps the sunlight had reflected off of something
in front of him, but he knew better.
This "flash" had encompassed the entire sky and landscape
before him, and it appeared that the sky had briefly opened.
Strange
noises had echoed about ahead of him, sounds clearly defined, yet dim and
distant as those he heard while approaching a bustling town from a
distance. Shouts, terrified screams,
wails, and tremendous explosions, like gunfire only much louder, had emanated
from the earth. He thought the ground
rocked slightly beneath him, and that he surely must be dreaming or seeing
things, when Sport suddenly shied and reared back, nearly unseating him. The cattle lowed and ran. Adam was hard put to gain control of his
horse and regroup the cattle before they scattered again. As he turned to chase the recalcitrant bovines,
he thought he saw, on the very edge of his vision, a dark, smoke-covered
terrain with intermittent fires burning, people huddled in the shelter of
crumbling buildings or desperately running, and strange-looking, heavy vehicles
with wings jutting from the side rumbling over them in the sky. Cursing his visions and the cattle, he drove
the steers back to the Ponderosa fence line, where they finally settled down,
huddled together, lowing fearfully with heads lowered.
It was
then that Adam had seen the soldier. He
was lying in a shallow depression in the snow, right by the fence. For a moment, Adam thought he must be
imagining him, too, but no, he was real.
And alive. Adam looked over his
uniform, and recognized nothing, except the "
Adam
compressed his lips and set his jaw stubbornly.
Who knows what he had really seen, or what had happened! He was tired: tired of driving stubborn, bawling cattle
through wind, cold, and mucky terrain;
tired of sleeping on the cold, wet ground, even if for only one night; tired of
chasing rustlers, and very tired of keeping tabs on his younger brother, who
should be old enough to keep his own hot head out of trouble. He was just tired, that was all. After a hot bath and a good meal, as well as
a good night's sleep, everything would look better.
As they
rode up to the house, Hoss and Ben emerged from the stable. They were just as dirty, if not filthier,
than Adam. Hoss's blue eyes peered
wearily from his mud-encrusted face as his brothers dismounted. Adam helped Joe so he didn't drop the man
Joe's now-numb arms were carrying. As
Hoss and Ben watched in a weary stupor, Hop Sing emerged from the kitchen
door.
"You
all late!" he shouted. "You late, and Hop Sing's meal
ruined!" He saw the limp burden Joe
and Adam shared, and was suddenly quiet.
He hurried to them. "Who is
this? " He peered closely at the
man. "He sick! He need doctor! Take him inside! I fix bed." Hop Sing hurried through the front door,
leaving it open for them to follow.
Relieved
that someone was taking charge, the Cartwrights followed their energetic cook
and housekeeper. As they proceeded to
the bedroom, Hop Sing erupted with a series of shrieks and Chinese curses,
intermixed with a volley of "No!
No! No!" Confused, they stepped back and looked in
bewilderment at the small man storming about before them. "Take off boots!" he insisted.
Too weary
to debate the matter of not tracking mud in the house while they were carrying
an unconscious man, the men removed their boots. Adam took the stranger from Joe and carried
him to the bed, and stripped off the soldier's muddy shoes and jacket.
Hop Sing
pointed to Ben. "You all
wash," he said accusingly. "I
bring food to table. You feed him-"
he pointed at the stranger - "water and broth. I get doctor."
"Hop
Sing, wait." Adam stopped their
cook as he left the room. He knew that
Hop Sing
bristled angrily. "I get
doctor!" he insisted. He pointed at
Joe. "You put horses in stable, and
get fresh horse for Hop Sing while Hop Sing puts food on table!"
Joe looked
at Adam, who raised his eyebrows and shrugged.
Joe retrieved his boots from the middle of the floor, put them back on,
and saddled a horse for Hop Sing. As he
cared for Sport and Cochise, he realized that he was probably the least tired
of all of them. His father and Hoss had
been pushing cattle up a bank and through mud and snow, and Adam had been God
knew where, chasing cattle down from the hills.
Both had been at it for two days.
At least he'd had one afternoon of rest as he waited for Adam, even
though in the cold, instead of pushing or herding steers around. Joe cared for the stock, and stumbled back in
the house, hoping there would be some dinner left for him.
As Joe
hurriedly gulped down what was left of dinner under Hoss's longing eye, Adam
told his father how he had found the man.
Ben looked closely at his eldest, wondering if he was omitting something
from his account. Adam stared at his
empty plate after giving his father a simple narrative of finding the stranger
by the Ponderosa fence line.
"Did
you see anyone, or anything?" queried his father. "Anyone who may have left him there, or
anything that may have indicated how he arrived?"
Adam shook
his head. "No,
Ben's
eyebrows drew together as he studied Adam.
"Were there footprints, tracks of any kind on the ground? Anything that would indicate how he came to
be there, or who or what brought him?"
Adam rose
abruptly from the table and poured himself a glass of brandy. After hastily swallowing it down, he said,
"There were lots of tracks, from the cattle and Sport. They ran all over the place before I found
him. Once I got him up on Sport with me,
it was all I could do to carry him and herd the cattle the rest of the
way. When Joe met me, it was a
lifesaver." He swallowed down
another glass of brandy.
Ben
watched Adam for a moment. Finally, he
looked away. Obviously, his son would
tell him the rest of the story when he was ready. Finally, he went into the spare room to
check on the stranger. Adam rummaged
through the saddlebags that Joe had brought in after tending their tired
horses.
"What's
that?" asked Joe.
Adam was
holding a hat he had pulled from the saddlebags. "I found this lying near him." He handed to Joe a dark blue hat with a
polished black brim. Above the brim, on
the crest of the hat, was an emblem of an eagle.
Hoss moved
next to his little brother and peered at it.
He pointed to the eagle.
"What's that it's got hold of in its claws?" he asked. "A feather?"
Adam
shrugged, and took the hat from Joe.
"Not sure," he replied.
He didn't mention the obvious, that he hadn't had a chance to look very
closely at it. He took it into the room
where his father sat with the stranger, and looked down at the man.
Ben was
holding a bowl of soup broth. "Did
he eat anything?" asked Adam.
"I
got a few dribbles of soup broth down him," replied Ben, "and he
drank a few swallows of water." He
looked at the hat in Adam's hand.
"What's that?"
"His
hat, I think. I found it near him. I put it in my saddlebag." He tossed the hat at the foot of the bed.
"Has
he spoken yet?"
"No,
he barely opened his eyes. I don't think
he even saw me."
"Can
you find any injuries on him?" asked Adam.
"I couldn't find any broken bones, bumps on the head, or
anything. But it's not like I could do a
real thorough check at the time."
"No,
I see no sign of current injuries," replied Ben, "though he does have
some scarring on his face from an old one."
"Yes,
I noticed that," said Adam. He
picked up the jacket from the foot of the bed and examined the regalia on
it. "What do you suppose all this
means?"
"I'm
not sure, son," admitted Ben.
"Most of it doesn't look familiar."
Adam
touched the eagle on the shoulder of the jacket. "This could signify the rank of Colonel," he mused, "but it's smaller than what
I've seen on the
"I
think we'll have to wait for him to wake up to let us know," said Ben
gently. He looked at the stranger
again. "I checked his pockets to
see if there was anything in them, and I found this." He handed Adam a leather wallet. Adam opened it and pulled out some
identification papers.
"Colonel
James Daniel Donovan," he read.
"
"There's
talk of creating another territory northeast of here, and calling it
"Isn't
Yankton that settlement they just built, after that treaty with the Yankton
Sioux?" asked Adam. He looked again
at the unconscious man before them.
"I'll have to check the newspaper for that, too, I guess. But a man dressed like this, from
Yankton? That's still on the edge of the
wilderness, near
Ben shook
his head in bewilderment. "He's a
soldier. He must be stationed
there."
"But
Pa, this isn't an army uniform! His
clothes are all - different!"
"One
thing's for sure," said Ben.
"He needs the doctor."
He looked at Adam. "You go
take a bath. Tell your brothers to take
one, too. Hop Sing should be back with
the doctor soon. I'll stay here with
him."
Adam took
a last look at the soldier. His lank
blonde hair, cropped close to his head, contrasted with the deep red scars on
the left side of his face. Adam fingered
his shirt and shook his head, wondering at the material, before he left the
room.
******************
Doc Martin
was out when Hop Sing arrived. He had
returned home from delivering a baby reluctant to make his entrance into the
world to find the cold, impatient, stubborn
Dawn was
just appearing at the edges of the eastern horizon when Hop Sing and Doc Martin
rode into the yard. Hoss was sitting
with the Colonel, as they were calling their guest, and reported that he had
grown a little restless, but still didn't respond to anyone or anything about
him.
Doc Martin
looked him over. "I don't see
anything wrong with him. His pulse is
fine, his respirations are a little fast, but nothing to be concerned about,
his lungs and heart sound fine, and he doesn't have a fever." He examined the side of the Colonel's face. "Looks like he was burned. How long has he been here?"
"Since
yesterday afternoon," replied Hoss, and proceeded to tell the doctor how
Adam had found him by the fence line.
Hoss showed him the Colonel's strange jacket, which the doctor looked at
and dropped back down on the chair.
"Well,
maybe he can tell us something about himself tomorrow morning. Meanwhile, I've been up all night delivering
a baby. You don't suppose I could have
something to eat and a bed, and see him when he wakes in the morning?"
"Uh,
Doc, it is morning," said Hoss.
"All
the more reason for me to finally get some sleep," said the doctor
shortly.
"Yeah. Yeah, sure, Doc," said Hoss. "If you can't find nothin' wrong with
him anyhow, you might as well sleep, I guess.
Uh, Hop Sing, can you rustle up some grub for the doctor here, and find
him a place to sleep? I'm gonna get Pa to sit with this fellow a while, and
go take care of the stock."
As soon as
breakfast was over, Ben sent Joe and Adam to fix the fence. As they rode out with the supplies, they saw
dark clouds gathering in the west, relentlessly approaching on a cold, steady
wind. "We'd best hurry, and get
this done quickly," said Joe.
"Another storm's blowing in."
***************
It was
late morning when the doctor knocked and entered the room. "Hello, Ben."
"Hello,
Doctor," greeted Ben. "We have a bit of a strange customer for
you here, I'm afraid."
"So I
saw, when I came in earlier this morning," replied the doctor. "Help me undress him, will
you?" He again examined the Colonel
for the next several minutes. When he
was finished, he put his instruments away.
"Ben, there appears to be nothing wrong with this fellow. Everything seems fine with him. There's no sign of illness, heart or
breathing problems, fever, or concussion.
No broken bones. He's not even in
shock. He has scarring from burns on his
face, chest, and arms, but those have healed quite well, and certainly aren't
the cause of his problems now. I don't
understand why he's not waking up and responding to us." The doctor picked up the jacket from the
chair near the foot of the bed. "Do
you know what this is?" he asked.
"I know it's no typical army uniform."
"No,
we're just as puzzled about it as you are," replied Ben. "We don't know what to make of it."
"Did
you find anything on him that might identify him?"
"Yes,
in his jacket pocket," replied Ben.
Doc Martin
pulled out the wallet and read the papers therein. "Ben," he said as he dropped the
coat back on the chair, "I think we ought to inform the sheriff. He may be a fugitive trying to hide from the
law."
Ben stared
at the doctor. "What makes you say
that? If he was trying to hide, I don't
think he'd choose such a strange get-up.
His uniform, his clothes, the material, his papers - it's all stuff I've
never seen. It's no Union uniform, as
you know quite well. And there is no -
'United States Air Force.' If he was on
the run, he'd try to blend in, not stand out."
"You
have a point, Ben. All the same, I think
I'll notify
******************
Joe and
Adam had just finished straightening the fence posts and were starting to
string the wire when a bright light flashed about them. "Maybe we'd better stop," said
Joe. "Lightning and barbed wire
don't exactly mix."
Adam put
down his tools and looked about him.
"I don't think that was lightning," he said, though he knew
that just about anything could happen during a storm. He remembered the flash of light that had
preceded his discovery of the Colonel, and looked about him apprehensively.
"If
it wasn't lightning, what was it?" asked Joe impatiently.
"I
don't know," Adam replied through gritted teeth. He picked up the wire cutters. "Come on. Let's get this fence finished before the
storm comes." Tiny snowflakes flurried
about them as they finally completed the task.
They packed the supplies and
mounted to hurry back to the house, looking forward to a crackling fire, a
change into dry clothes, and a cup of hot chocolate or tea.
Suddenly,
to the north of them, the sky opened again in a flash of light. Adam looked toward it, fearful of what he
might see or hear.
"That
was no lightning," said Joe.
"What was that?"
Adam
wanted nothing more than to go back to the house and forget all the occurrences
of the past day or two. He fought the
gnawing curiosity drawing him to go investigate, and said, "Who
knows? Something to do with the storm
blowing in. The sooner we get back, the
less of that we'll have to deal with."
"We
should go check it out," insisted Joe.
Pa would want us to."
"Not
when we're racing a storm," argued Adam.
"I've been out on the range for a couple days, chasing cattle, and
I'm not going on a wild goose chase now.
Probably it was nothing more than a weird flash of lightning."
"That
was no lightning," repeated Joe.
"You go back home, and I'll be back after I've looked that area
over." He rode off, despite Adam's
protests. Cursing under his breath, Adam
followed his brother until he overtook him.
He didn't know what Joe would meet, and certainly didn't want him alone
whenever he found whatever might be there.
If
anything was there.
If
anything had been there.
As they
rode, spots of light mixed with darkness ahead of them. Adam hoped he was ill or overtired, and
rubbed his eyes.
"Adam!"
Joe's
voice was behind him. Adam stopped and
turned around. Though the lights were
behind him, they still flashed before his eyes.
The snowfall was getting heavier, and it was hard to see his
brother. "What?"
"What
is all that?"
"What
is all what?" Adam stubbornly
refused to acknowledge the question.
"Haven't you seen snow before?"
"Don't
you see it?" Joe's voice rose in
exasperation. "Those lights! And why is it so dark there?"
Adam was
furious. He didn't want to be here. He preferred to ignore the lights. He didn't want this to be happening. "Why don't you go back to the house,
little brother?" he asked sarcastically.
"Let me go check out those 'lights' you're seeing." He turned to ride off, only to see the
darkness and spots of light filling the sky above him and all about him.
Adam
cringed at the sound of gunfire and ear-splitting explosions. He heard a drone and whine, and looked up to
see the winged vehicle of his previous vision.
It flew straight toward them, coming lower every second. Adam recognized the sound of an engine that
was much more sophisticated than that of a steam engine. He bent low over Sport's neck. Suddenly, the sound was gone. He looked up to a cloudy sky with big
snowflakes settling on his face.
"What
was that?" His brother's voice just
behind him was filled with skepticism and fear.
Adam was
silent for a moment. "I don't
know." He stared vainly into the
snow, hoping for a clue to what he had just seen. He saw only snow and increasing clouds. "Let's get home."
As the
brothers turned up their coat collars against the wind and snow and pushed
their horses toward the house, Joe recalled his strange adventures at Ellen's
house the previous October. As he had
driven home after dark that night, he had heard eerie, beautiful music from a
stone quarry next to the road.
"Adam?"
"What?" Adam asked tersely.
"Do
you remember last fall, when I was supposed to take Ellen to that party, and we
couldn't go?"
"Yeah. I remember."
Joe
hesitated. His brother was likely to
think him a fool.
Adam
squinted and lowered his head against an especially hard blast of wind. "What are you getting at?" he
finally asked when Joe remained silent.
"Well....What
I just saw back there made me feel - funny.
And I felt the same way when I was riding home from Ellen's that night
last October." He paused. "Does that make any sense?"
"No,"
said Adam. "But don't worry. Nothing is making sense right now."
******************
Colonel Donovan
could hear the resonating booms above the noisy drone of the plane's
engine. Smoke rose as bombs fell, and
the
When he
awoke, his face was swathed in bandages, and his hands were tied to the metal
rails of the bed. He tried to open his
eyes, but couldn't open them far enough to see very much. He attempted to pull his hands free, and
winced as the strips of cloth used to restrain him chafed his sore wrists. Apparently, he'd been struggling to free
himself for a while. He tried to talk,
but his mouth was dry and his lips cracked and sore.
He thought
he saw people in white uniforms walking by, but no one came toward him. He hoped someone would come soon. He needed a drink of water, to find out where
he was and what had happened to him, to find out what day it was, and if his
wife was here. He tried to call out, but
couldn't raise his voice above a croak.
His struggles to free himself were again fruitless.
Suddenly,
a strong arm slid under his shoulder and lifted him slightly. "Easy, easy," a young man's voice
crooned. Water was dribbled onto his
lips, and he opened his mouth desperately.
He yanked the glass to his face, spilling the water over the front of
him. "Easy!" exclaimed the
young man again, as he grabbed the glass and kept some of it from spilling, and
held it to his lips.
Jim
Donovan looked about him after gulping down the water. This wasn't the field hospital. This was - where was this? Home?
No. There was no room at home
that looked like this. He suddenly
realized he could see clearly, and that there were no bandages on his
face. Nor were his hands tied.
"Where
am I?" he asked.
"At
the Ponderosa, my father's ranch," the young man's voice replied.
Colonel
Donovan looked for the first time at the young man by his side. Sensitive green eyes in a concerned,
youthful, handsome face framed by brown curls met his gaze. Donovan gasped in mixed amazement and
delight. "Johnny? Johnny!
You're - you're all grown up! And
- and you - you can sit up!" He put
his hand on the young man's cheek.
"Oh, it's so good to see you!
Where is your mother?"
"I -
I'm not Johnny, sir," the young man replied as he gently removed the
soldier's hand from his cheek. "I'm
sorry, but I'm not Johnny. My name is
Joseph Cartwright, and you're on my father's ranch, the Ponderosa."
Colonel
Donovan was devastated. He collapsed
back on the pillows. "Oh, I'm
sorry," he moaned. He looked again
at this man Joseph. "You sure look
like my Johnny." He closed his
eyes. "Are you sure you're not
him?"
"Yes,
sir, I'm sure," replied Joe.
"I'm sorry," he added.
The
soldier opened his eyes and studied him again.
"What happened to your eye?"
Joe was
painfully reminded of his foolishness that nearly cost him his life. "Oh, I - got in a fight."
Donovan
studied him. "A fight."
"Yes,
sir." Joe felt as though he was
talking to his father.
"A
fight in the war?"
Joe looked
puzzled. "War? No, sir, there is no war. Except the Indian wars. Is that what you mean?"
Colonel Donovan
looked at Joe. Indian wars? He looked about him. The paneled room shone golden in the sunlight
streaming in the western windows. He saw
an oil lamp on a table along the opposite wall, and a candle on the
nightstand. These people apparently didn't
have electricity. They must live awfully
far away from civilization. He studied
the young man, Joseph, again. His
clothes were old-fashioned, but clean.
His tousled curls were damp.
Apparently, he had recently bathed.
They seemed civilized enough.
"Where
did you say I am?" he asked.
"On
the Ponderosa, my father's ranch," Joe explained again.
"Where
is that?"
"We're
in
Colonel
Donovan looked at him with an expression of mixed terror and suspicion. "
Joe tried
to hide his surprise. "No, sir, I
mean
Colonel
Donovan's eyes darted about the room.
Where was he? What had happened
to him? Perhaps this was all a bad
dream. His eyes finally came to rest on
Joseph. He closed his eyes, and saw the
green eyes and brown curls on Johnny, only three years old when he had left for
the war. Of course, this young man
couldn't be Johnny. Johnny was
dead. He remembered now. His wife had notified him of his death while
he fought in
Johnny had
never been expected to live long. The
doctors told Donovan and his wife that he would probably never walk, and may
never even sit up. Most of the time, the
doctors said, these children die while they are quite young. Johnny would probably get pneumonia, or a
childhood disease such as whooping cough or measles, and die.
Jim and
Irene Donovan had been determined that their son would beat the odds. They cared for him as best as they were able,
despite constant chiding from family, friends, and doctors to put him in an
institution that specialized in caring for children like him. They refused to treat him as though he was
fragile or special, instead insisting that he learn to live as normal a life as
was possible for him. He was a beautiful
child, with brown curls corkscrewing from his head, and vivid green eyes with
long lashes. When Jim had left for the
war after the bombing of
But Johnny
had died while his father fought the Axis forces in
*******************
The storm
had blown by in less than half a day, followed by a beautiful, sunny late
afternoon and magnificent winter sunset.
When Joe reported that the Colonel had spoken to him that afternoon, the
day after Adam had found him, they were delighted. The man was confused, as he was mistaking Joe
for "his Johnny." But he had
obviously been through severe emotional trauma, and some confusion was to be
expected.
The
morning after the Colonel awoke, Ben paid a visit to the Willis family to
invite them to spend Christmas at the Ponderosa. Adam, Hoss, and Joe went searching for a
Christmas tree. As they rode into the
hills among the tall Ponderosa pines, Hoss said, "Let's make sure it's the
perfect tree this year! Them Willis kids
need to have a good holiday!"
"Hoss,
you always make sure it's the 'perfect' tree," said Joe. "We never can bring home anything less
than the perfect tree, and that's why we ride all over creation! Come on!
There's lots of good trees! Let's
pick one and be done with it!"
"But
Joe, those kids have been through a lot!" exclaimed Hoss. "They just lost their pa, and they need
to have a good Christmas! And that means
a good tree!"
"You
mean a perfect Christmas, and the perfect tree, don't you, Hoss?" joshed
Adam. "Let's see: Is that the perfect tree over
there?" He brought the sledge to a
stop and pointed to the right side of the path.
"Or how about that one?" He pointed to the left. "Problem is, we can't pick out the perfect
tree until we've examined every tree around, can we?"
"Oh,
come on!" exploded Joe. He didn't
like being reminded of Tom Willis, or his now-fatherless children. "Just pick a tree, will you? And let's be done with it!"
Hoss and
Adam stared at their brother in mute shock after this atypical outburst. Joe clenched his teeth and stared ahead of
him, unwilling to meet their gaze.
"Why,
Joe, what's the matter with you?" exclaimed Hoss. "This isn't like you! 'specially not at Christmas, when we're
trying to help somebody, and cheer them up!" Adam said nothing, but looked at his youngest
brother with concern.
"I
know! I know! I'm just sick of scouting around for the
perfect tree! Like it even exists! Let's just cut a tree, and get it home!"
"Joe,
what is eatin' you?" declared Hoss.
Joe buried
his head in his hands. "I don't
know," he said haltingly after a long minute. He raised his head and impatiently wiped his
face with his sleeve. "I should've
been there," he whispered. "I
should've been there with you, by your side, when you were fighting those
rustlers. Maybe Tom Willis wouldn't have
been killed, if I'd been there, instead of in town, fightin' mad."
"Joe
-" Adam hesitated. "What makes
you so sure that things would've been any different if you'd been there? The same thing could've happened anyway, you
know." He spoke gently, trying to
calm his younger brother.
"If
I'd been there, you would have been, too, Adam," said Joe. "Pa wouldn't have had to send you to
town after me, if I hadn't been gone.
The two of us might have made a difference."
"Little
brother, you don't know that," said Hoss earnestly. "For all you know, you or Adam might
have been killed. Some of the other men
were injured. None seriously, except Tom,
of course. But the fact is, you don't
know what might have been. No one does
or can. You were in town, Adam went
after you, and that's that. No one can
change that. All we can do now is help
Tom's widow and children as best we can."
"I
know!" said Joe with an anguished cry.
"I know! But if I'd been
there -"
"Joe,
Joe!" said Adam, taking hold of his brother's shoulders. "You weren't there. You were going through your own private
hell. You don't know what might have
happened, and neither does anyone else.
No one is blaming you. Stop
torturing yourself." Joe looked
into Adam's eyes, and collapsed in his arms.
The two brothers hugged each other tightly.
Hoss
stepped down from the seat and walked over to them. He clapped them on the back, and encased both
of them in a huge hug. "Let's get
going, you two," he said. "We
want to do all we can for Tom's family, now, don't we?" He looked at Joe.
Joe and
Adam pulled apart. "Yeah,
Hoss," replied Joe. "Yeah, we
do."
"Well,
a start to helpin' them out is making sure they have a real nice tree,"
said Hoss. "Now, I was by here
about a week ago, and I saw a real purty one up over the next rise. Why don't we go look at it, and see if we can
fit it through the door?"
*****************
The three
brothers entered the house later that day to find the Colonel sitting at the
table with their father. An empty plate
and glass were pushed back in front of him.
"Hello,
Pa!" Hoss greeted his father.
"Hello - sir!" Hoss was unsure how to address the stranger.
"Boys,"
announced Ben, "come here, please.
This is Colonel James Donovan.
These are my sons, sir: Adam,
Hoss, and Joe."
"Call
me Jim," said the Colonel in a pleasant voice. Greetings, pleasantries, and handshakes were
exchanged.
"Glad
to see you feeling so much better, Jim," said Adam.
"Adam
is the one who found you by my fence line a few days ago," explained
Ben. "I was just starting to tell
you, as they came in, that we couldn't figure out what happened to you."
Jim's eyes
moved back to the boys. He looked
intently at each one, until his gaze rested on Joe. "I talked to you. Didn't I?"
Joe
nodded. "Yes, sir. You did.
Yesterday. You talked to me for a
few minutes. But you were - confused, I
think."
"You
told me..." Jim sighed. "You
told me some strange things. Maybe I was
dreaming."
"No,
sir, you weren't dreaming," Joe assured him. "We did talk."
"Who
are you, Jim?" asked Adam. "We
found your identification papers in your pocket, but we don't understand. Where are you from?"
"Well,
if you found my papers, you know who I am." Jim sounded slightly indignant
and frightened. "I'm Colonel James
Daniel Donovan, and I'm a Colonel in the United States Air Force. I'm from Yankton,
"Jim,"
said Hoss gently, " there ain't no United States Air Force, sir. There's the Union Army, and the Navy, but no
air force. Can't rightly think what an
air force might be. And - there ain't no
"Yankton's
near the southeast corner of what's about to become
Jim buried
his head in his hands. Adam and Joe
exchanged glances. Ben and Hoss stared
at the man. Suddenly, Jim raised his
head and looked at Joe. "Didn't you
say something about -
Joe nodded
uncertainly. "Yes, sir. I did.
That's where we are, in
Their
guest looked at the table before him in shock.
"What is the date?" he asked faintly.
After a
moment's hesitation, Joe replied, "It's December 23rd, sir."
"Of
what year?" asked Jim.
Joe looked
at his father in bewilderment, then replied, "1859, sir."
The
Colonel looked about him with dread as he realized where and when he was. Ben approached him and laid a hand on his
shoulder. "Why don't you tell us
the last thing you remember?"
Jim took a
deep breath and looked around him. He
saw the oil lamps, the hardwood floors,
the old-fashioned rugs, and the antique furniture, not to mention the
out-of-style clothing of his benefactors.
It was all so clear now. Indian
wars -
With his shoulders
sagging, and staring into space before him, he began his tale. "I was flying home from the war. I was to attend an awards ceremony once I
reached home, so I was wearing my dress uniform." He looked at the clothes he was wearing. "I don't know what happened to my
uniform."
"We
have it," Ben assured him.
"The doctor needed to undress you to fully examine you. We put the uniform away, and gave you some of
my clothes to wear."
"Anyway,"
the Colonel continued, "shortly after my pilot said we were over the
Missouri/Nebraska border, we suddenly entered a thick fog. We hadn't seen it coming. I couldn't see an inch past my window, and
the pilot couldn't navigate at all, because his instruments suddenly went
haywire. For a long time, he wasn't certain
where we were. We must have veered off
course. I thought we'd crash for
sure. I felt this tremendous jolt, and
heard several explosions, but they sounded far away. I must have passed out. The next thing I remember is this young man
-" he nodded toward Joe - "talking to me."
Ben's
brows drew down over his eyes. "Mr.
Donovan, sir," he said, "there are several items from your 'account'
that need clarification. For starters,
you say you were flying. In a
balloon? If so, how could you get from
the Missouri/Nebraska border to here, in the circumstances you describe? No fog could last that long! And you say your pilot's instruments 'went
haywire'. What instruments?"
Adam
looked from Colonel Donovan to his father.
He felt his youngest brother's eyes upon him, and turned unwillingly to
meet them. Joe was watching him with a
knowing, frightened expression, and Adam's fear grew as he returned the
gaze.
Adam
swallowed hard, and turned to his father.
"Pa, wait a minute." He
looked at their guest. "Mr. - uh,
Colonel Donovan, what were you - were you in a balloon when this
happened?"
The
Colonel looked puzzled. "Why, no,
sir, of course not!" he exclaimed.
"I was in a plane, of course!"
"A
WHAT?!" exclaimed Hoss.
"A
plane!" exclaimed Jim. "An airplane! Surely you have seen planes out
here!" Suddenly he realized the
date: 1859. No.
They had not seen planes. Not if
they were telling him the truth, and this wasn't some gigantic hoax.
"Colonel,"
said Joe, "the last you remember, when you were going home, as you say,
what year was it?"
Jim
swallowed and stared bleakly back at him.
"1945," he whispered.
"And
what war were you in?" asked Adam.
"World
War II," came the barely audible reply.
Joe and
Adam looked at each other with mingled fear and understanding. Ben's brows drew down even more. "Mr. Donovan," he thundered,
"I'm going to have to report you to the sheriff. I can only assume -"
"Pa,"
Joe interrupted. His father glared at
him. "He's not lying,
"Joe's
right," agreed Adam. "Colonel
Donovan's telling -" Adam hesitated.
"He must be telling the truth."
Ben looked
from one son to the other. "Perhaps
you would care to enlighten me as to why you are so certain he's being
truthful?" he stormed.
Adam and
Joe looked at each other, turned to their father, and shook their heads. "No, sir," replied Joe. "Not right now, at least."
"You'd
never believe us," added Adam.
"I'm not sure I believe us," he silently added to himself.
Hoss
stirred uncomfortably. "Uh, why don't
you tell us about the war you fought in, Mr. Donovan?"
Jim
hesitated, unsure of whether or not to continue. "I was a pilot in the war. 305th Bombardment Group, Eighth Air
Force. We were stationed in
"My
Johnny!" sobbed Jim. "He was a
beautiful child! He was three years old
when I left in '42. He had green eyes,
brown curls, and was the spunkiest, happiest boy anywhere. He was the best."
After a
few deep breaths, Jim continued.
"Johnny had something wrong with him. The doctors had a long, fancy name for
it. I don't recall it. I only remember them telling me that he'd
never walk, and he'd probably die before he even reached two years. He was five, almost six, when he died. We took care of him ourselves, we did, though
most everyone about us told us to put him in an institution. But he contracted pneumonia, and he
died. He died. And I wasn't there! I wasn't there to see him, or be with him. I couldn't hold his hand; couldn't comfort
him, or my wife. No, I was at war, and
in the midst of one of the most horrible and decisive battles in the war, as it
turned out."
Joe
swallowed and looked away. He knew full
well the agony involved of being one place and later wishing he was in another.
Jim buried
his head in his hands. "Once I knew
my son was dead, and we finally were through with that horrible battle, I
didn't want to go back." He stopped
while he mastered his emotions, then continued.
"After that, we were sent to help with the Allied invasion of
"I
woke up in a field hospital in
"While
I was still in the hospital, I was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross for
valor in battle." He laughed
mirthlessly. "What valor?! I only did what I had to do; what I was told
to do. Once I learned my son had died, I
didn't care what I did, or what happened to me." He shook his head. "It was not valor that earned me that
medal. It was foolhardiness."
Ben pulled
a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to his guest. After wiping his eyes, Jim continued. "A few months later, after I recovered
somewhat, I could have gone home. But I
didn't. My wife needed me, I'm
sure. But I couldn't go home and face
her without our son there. I couldn't. So when I heard that people were needed in
"Concentration
camps?" asked Adam.
Jim closed
his eyes wearily. "Hitler, the
Fuhrer of Germany, incarcerated in forced labor and extermination camps anyone
who was....different. Anyone
non-white. Especially the Jews. There were also blacks, gypsies, Christians
and others who stood up for those they would take away...and the ones blind,
deaf, deformed, or....crippled." He
uttered the last word in a whisper. He
couldn't go on.
"The
Germans did this?" Ben asked incredulously after several moment's silence.
Jim
nodded.
"Didn't
anyone try to stop them?" demanded Joe.
Jim shook
his head. "Not at first.
Jim's
hands shook. How could he describe the
horrors of learning that large groups of people had been murdered by poison
gas, while thinking they were showering?
How could he recount the nightmare of war-hardened troops, liberating a
concentration camp full of live skeletal bodies behind barbed wire, only to find
a crematory full of human skeletons? And
that wasn't even the beginning....
Hop Sing
emerged from the kitchen. "Colonel
Jim's bath ready. Come with me, please,
if you are ready?"
Ben
nodded. "Yes, Hop Sing, thank
you." He helped the Colonel up from
the table and led him to his cook, who anxiously assisted him to his bath.
"You
eat, bathe. You feel better. Soon!"
Ben and
Hoss looked at one another, then at Adam and Joe, who dropped their eyes to the
floor. "Boys, I can't buy what he's
saying," Ben argued, as though to convince himself. "The German Confederation is full of
unrest and dissension. There was a
revolution about 10 years ago, and the Prussian king refused to rule over a
united
"He
mentioned
"But
Pa," protested Joe, "he's talking about 1945, not now."
"Is
he?" thundered Ben. "Or is he,
as Doc Martin suspects, a fugitive from justice?"
"Pa,"
said Adam gently, "if he was running from the law, why concoct such a
wild, unbelievable, inaccurate story?
Why wear such a get-up as he had on?
No, if he was running from justice, he'd try to blend in, not stand
out!"
Ben
hesitated as he heard his own words to the doctor echoed by his eldest
son. He looked at him sharply, wondering
what he had seen, what he knew, that he wasn't telling. "Maybe he's not right in the head,"
he muttered, more to convince himself than Adam or his brothers.
Adam
shrugged. "Maybe not. But he deserves the benefit of the
doubt. Let's give it some time."
Ben
sighed. Adam was right. This wasn't the time of year to be uncovering
subterfuge, anyway. They had company
coming tomorrow, and the house had better be ready, and the hosts in the right
frame of mind. Anything that needed
reporting to the sheriff could wait until after Christmas. "Did you boys find that tree I sent you
after?"
"Yes,
sir!" exclaimed Hoss. "We
found us the perfect Christmas tree, didn't we now, Joe?" Hoss and his brothers led their father
outside to show him the tall, slender tree on the sledge.
******************
While his
hosts struggled to get the huge tree into the house, Jim attempted to relax in
the warm water. He was exhausted after
telling his story to the Cartwrights, but his mind was in turmoil. What he had revealed to his hosts had shocked
them, though he could tell that Ben, and maybe Hoss, doubted his tale. But what he hadn't told them now tormented
him.
He saw in
his mind the long lines of people waiting, for hours or days, for information
about their loved ones who had been taken away before and during the war.
Jim
shuddered as he recalled searching through endless lists of names and documents that had been found when the Nazi
soldiers abandoned the camp during the Allied advance into
He found
it increasingly difficult to sleep, and began to dread going to his quarters at
the end of the day. Countless times each
night he woke to his own screams, drenched in sweat, with vague memories of
nameless demons pursuing him in his swiftly fading dreams. He began leaving a light burning at night
while he slept, and found himself constantly looking over his shoulder whenever
he was alone, especially when it was dark.
Then the
sisters arrived. He saw them far back in
line, waiting patiently in their neat but travel-worn habits. As they approached, he noticed their anxious
yet hopeful eyes in careworn faces. For
some unfathomable reason, he began to dread their approach, and hoped that they
would talk with someone else in their search for loved ones. His hopes were unrealized as they came to him
when they finally reached the front of the line after several hours.
Sister
Marta Francesca addressed him politely but earnestly. Her German was a little difficult to
understand, as it was mixed with French.
She and her sisters came from a
small town west of
As she
told Jim what they wanted, he understood why he had dreaded talking to
her. He couldn't face these women. He had to get away. But all of their eyes were fixed on him, and
there was no escape. They had been to
The women
were from the Convent of the Sisters of Mercy.
They were looking for their children.
The nun's words were punctuated silently by her sisters' nods of
affirmation. Their children, Sister
Francesca explained, all had infirmities.
Many were mentally feeble, some were blind, or deaf; several could not
speak as well, and many were in wheelchairs.
They had cared for these children for many years, the sister was careful
to point out. Some of them were orphaned;
others from broken homes. Quite a few
were from loving parents who simply could not care for them. These were the children God had given them,
whom no one else wanted. They had
lovingly devoted themselves to their care.
They never
thought their children were in any danger.
What possible threat could they pose to the people about them? When the soldiers came to their small town
for the Jews, it didn't seem to affect them.
They prayed that God would keep them and their children safe. And so it seemed He did.
But one
day, there was a knock on the door. The
sister who opened it encountered several grim, unsmiling soldiers, one of whom
informed her they had come for their children.
The woman ran for Sister Francesca, but there was nothing any of them
could do. The soldiers went through the
convent and took all their children.
They carried them outside and threw them into the back of an army truck
as though they were sacks of cattle feed.
No amount of reasoning, pleading, begging, or weeping could dissuade
them. This was by order of the Fuhrer,
the commanding officer tonelessly informed the sisters. There was nothing he, they, or anyone could
do. When several of the nuns attempted
to climb into the truck with the children, they were thrown or kicked out. They begged to be taken with the children, to
care for them, but were harshly refused.
Helplessly, they watched the truck and the soldiers disappear with the
precious cargo.
Appeals to
the town authorities met variously with stony silence, disapproving glares,
shifting eyes, or threats of incarceration due to their sedition in supporting
and caring for "undesirables."
The Fuhrer only wished to weed out the inferior, unproductive members of
society. Did they not wish to help? Pleas to visit the children, to at least see
them from afar, were refused. This,
along with all else the Fuhrer ordered, was for
Sister Francesca
produced photographs of some of the children, and names and descriptions of all
of them. Jim's hands shook as he took
them. He did his usual search through
the files, and finally found cross-referenced under "
Through
his tears (which rarely flowed now), the Colonel looked again at the
pictures. One of them was of a lad with
a twisted body who appeared to be about five years old. He had bright eyes, a lively expression, and
a winsome smile. Jim could tell that
child wasn't mentally feeble. His only
"crime" was to be born in a body that didn't work right. He could have been Johnny. Any of them could have been Johnny.
Jim managed
to stop his tears, and stumbled back to tell the sisters that their children
had been killed by poison gas. That lie
was bad enough, but he could not bear to tell them the truth. He managed also to inform them that some of
the children, whose names or descriptions he provided, had been sent to
Treblinka. He was careful not to watch
as they clutched one another and stumbled away, bent over and sobbing with
grief. He wondered what they would have
done had he told them the truth.
That
night, his nightmares returned worse than ever.
He awoke screaming, convinced that something was in the room with
him. He was sent to a hospital by his
superior officer, where doctors determined him to be on the edge of a nervous
breakdown after two intense battles, being shot down and injured, and the death
of his son. Dealing with the aftermath
of the concentration camps was only adding to his stress, it was decided, so he
was discharged and sent home.
He
notified his wife of his impending arrival, who wired him back, saying his
hometown wanted to hold a special ceremony for their decorated war hero upon
his return. He dreaded that ceremony as
much as he dreaded returning to a home bereft of his son.
*****************
The four
Cartwrights struggled mightily as they eased, jiggled, gently pulled, and
finally shoved the gigantic tree through the door of the Ponderosa. "Hoss, you've done it again!"
growled Joe. "Your 'perfect' tree
is too big to get through the door!"
Hoss
grunted as he strained to compress the branches so none broke as they brought
the enormous tree through the doorway.
"You weren't complaining when we found the tree, Joe. You said you thought it'd do just fine."
"I
did not!" Joe hotly replied.
"I told you it was too big to get inside! You insisted it was fine!"
"Enough,
you two!" panted Adam.
At the
same time, Ben snarled, "You boys always get a tree we can barely lift off
the sledge, much less fit through the door!
Remind me to cut a bigger doorway once the weather gets warmer!"
"Pa,
you say that every year!" declared Hoss.
"That's
because I forget to do it in the summer, and it's too cold to do it when I need
it!"
With a
mighty heave, Hoss, who was holding on to the bottom of the tree, squeezed the
great branches past the doorway and shoved the behemoth all the way into the
room. Ben, Adam, and Hoss were caught
off guard and propelled forward along with the tree. Adam stumbled and fell, closing his eyes
tightly as the branches raked over his face.
Ben was dragged along with his arm caught tightly in the fork of the
branch he had been holding. Joe was
swept off his feet and dragged along under the tree, which fell on top of him
once his father and brother lost their hold.
"Hoss!"
bellowed Ben, yanking his arm free, "Tell us before you do any more
shoving like that! We'd like to be
ready!"
"
"We
have to know what you're doing before you go shoving the tree around like it's
on a runaway train, Hoss!" shouted Adam.
He rubbed his sleeve over his face to dislodge pine needles. "Next time, warn us!"
"All right!" exclaimed Hoss. He watched his brother rub his face and his
father massage his arm. "Well, come
on! Are you gonna help me get this tree
up, or not?!" Ben and Adam glared
at him, and Adam started toward him with fists clenched and a glint in his eye.
"Would
somebody get this thing off of
me!" shouted Joe.
Adam
stopped in mid stride and looked down to see a few of the branches waving as
his brother struggled under the tree.
Ben looked down in alarm.
"Hoss!" Ben exclaimed.
"Joe is caught under the tree!"
Hoss
looked at his father in alarm, dropped the tree completely on the floor, and
ran forward. "Where?" he
shouted.
"Right
there!" roared Ben, pointing next to his feet. "Get it off of him, now!"
Hoss
seized the trunk of the tree and lifted it off of his brother, who crawled out,
sticky with rosin and spitting pine needles.
Once he was clear of the branches, Hoss dropped the tree back on the
floor, oblivious to Ben jumping out of the way.
"You ok, Little Joe?"
"Bleeeah!"
Joe spat the last of the pine needles from his mouth. "Yeah, I'm ok, no thanks to you, you
lumbering ox!"
Hoss's
eyes grew big, his mouth tightened up, and his brows drew together. He started over the tree toward his younger
brother.
"All
right, now, that's enough!" said Adam, jumping between his brothers with a
restraining hand on each of them. Hoss
stopped, but Joe slipped around Adam. As
he tried to punch Hoss, Adam tried to grab his arm. Joe tripped over the tree branches at the
same time, and fell back into the tree.
Adam tried
not to laugh, but the sight of his brother's curls stuck full of needles and
the fury in his eyes as he rose from the tangled, breaking branches suddenly
triggered a fountain of mirth. He
stumbled back to sit on the floor, laughing as hard as he could.
Joe's
attention was suddenly turned toward Adam.
He had only taken one step toward him, however, before Hoss stepped over
the trunk of the tree and lifted his younger brother over it. "Let me go, Hoss!" shouted Joe as
he struggled to free himself.
Hoss
waited for him to calm down. When he
didn't, he tossed him into a nearby chair.
"Cut it out, Little Joe," he said. "We've gotta get this tree up. So cut out all the foolin' around, and let's
get it done."
Joe paid no
mind, but shot out of the chair straight towards Adam, who still sat on the
floor laughing.
"Joseph!"
shouted Ben.
Hoss
yanked him off of Adam, pulled him close, and slowly squeezed. For a moment, Joe protested and struggled
mightily. His struggles grew more
feeble, and finally stopped. He gasped
for breath.
"Are
you gonna quit this nonsense, Little Joe?" asked Hoss. "Or do you turn blue first?" He dropped him on the floor and started for
Adam, who was still laughing. He opened
his hand and drew it back. "How
about you, older brother?" Adam
scrambled to his feet and stepped hastily backwards, swallowing his laughter.
"Now,
cut out this foolishness, and let's all help get this tree up," said
Ben.
The four
men slowly heaved the tree off the floor and moved it to the center of the
room, where a large wooden tub sat ready next to several pails full of dirt and
small rocks. "Steady," groaned
Ben. "Let's get it into this tub,
and then Joe, you put in the dirt and rocks once we tell you to." Joe grunted his assent.
"Now,
let's all lift it up into the tub-" started Ben. Once again, Hoss gave a mighty heave, and the
tree went up, then the trunk down.
Unprepared for his brother's mighty effort, Joe was lifted off the floor
and swung about into Adam, knocking him over.
The tree fell over, knocking the knickknacks from the top of the
bookshelf, which broke on the floor with a crash-smash-splinter-crunch.
"Consarn
it!" bellowed Hoss. "Can't you
two do nothing right?"
"Thanks
for the warning, Hoss!" Adam's sarcasm was unmistakable as he emerged from
the branches once again.
"Pa
said to lift it up!"
"Lift
it up, not propel it through the ceiling!
And on the count of three!"
"He
didn't say anything about countin' to three!"
"You
didn't give him a chance!"
"Get
this thing off of me!" Joe was pinned between the upper part of the tree
and the stair bannister.
"Enough!" roared Ben. Silence
immediately fell. "Now, get
hold of this tree, and when I count to three, lift it into the tub!" Finally, the tree was successfully lifted off
of Joe and into the tub.
Joe
stepped back and looked at it.
"It's crooked. Move it to
the right." As the other three were
standing on different sides of the tree, they all attempted to move it in
different directions.
"Right!"
shouted Joe.
"Whose
right?" snarled Adam.
"My
right! Towards the stairs!" They complied. "Uh, now it's too far to the
right." They moved it again. Joe studied it critically from every
angle. "Um, it's tipped too far back." They moved it forward. "Now it's too-"
"Just-put-the
rocks-and dirt-in!!" growled Ben through clenched teeth.
Joe opened
his mouth, then shut it, and did as his father said.
Hop Sing
came in the room. "What are you
doing?! Door is standing open! It is cold in here!" He looked at the floor. "Dirt and snow all over! You careless, and drop tree, and break
things! Company coming tomorrow, and Hop
Sing does not have time to clean up after big boys fighting!"
The men
shut their eyes as he continued his tirade.
"Hop Sing, Hop Sing!" exclaimed Joe. "We'll clean it up, ok? We'll clean it all up! Won't we?" he looked at his brothers.
Hoss
glared at him. "You oughta clean it
up!"
"Me!"
sputtered Joe. "Seems to me you're
the one who caused all the trouble!"
"You'll
all clean it up!" thundered Ben.
The boys looked at each other and shrugged.
Adam and
Hoss cleaned up the mess while Ben and Joe, mounted on ladders, anchored the
top and center of the tree to the wall with wire. While they admired their handiwork, Hoss
grumbled, "Get over here, Little Joe, and help us clean up." After a glare from his father, Joe complied.
The
Colonel entered the room as the brothers swept up the last of the dirt and
broken glass. He had started to pull his
sweater on as he felt the chill in the room, but let it slide down his arm as
he stood transfixed. Ben and the boys
watched him as he stared at the tree. A
smile crept across his face, and his eyes grew moist.
"Come
in, Mr. Donovan, and sit down," said Ben.
"Would you like something to drink?
Some tea, perhaps?"
For a
moment, it appeared Jim hadn't heard him.
"Uh, yes," he finally stammered. "Tea sounds delightful, thank you."
Ben went to
the kitchen to ask Hop Sing to bring in some tea while Hoss and Adam moved a
chair back by the fire for the Colonel.
When Ben returned, he told Hoss to return the ladders to the tool shed. "Adam, you come with me to the attic and
help me get the Christmas decorations down.
Joe, you stay here and entertain our guest." He looked at Jim, wondering what memories
were triggered by the tree that he and his sons had struggled to put up. "Come to the fire, Jim, and sit
down," he said gently. "We'll
be with you in a few minutes."
Hop Sing
bustled into the room a moment later with a tray holding a steaming teapot,
cups and saucers, plates, and cookies.
"Mr. Cartwright work hard at getting tree up. Boys clean up mess, so I can bake
cookies." He served Jim a fragrant
cup of tea. "Colonel Jim eat,
drink, and get strong, so he can go home.
Eat cookies now, before Mister Hoss come, or there will be no
cookies!"
"Sounds
like good advice to me!" Jim took several cookies while Hop Sing poured
Joe's tea.
After Hop
Sing returned to the kitchen, Joe and the Colonel sat in silence for several
minutes, sipping their tea and munching cookies. The room was slowly warming up after the door
had been open for so long, but they huddled close to the fire. The acrid scent of wood smoke, the comforting
aroma of the ginger tea, and the sharp, tingling fragrance of the pine tree
reminded Joe of Christmases long past, and brought the image of his mother
to mind.
He recalled helping her decorating the tree, and saw her sprucing up the
house for the holidays. When neighbors
came to visit, she greeted them with frothy mugs of hot chocolate - a rare and
expensive treat out West! - or a cup of hot, spicy tea.
"How
strange," Joe thought. "I'm
the only one of my brothers who remembers his mother, and I barely remember her
at all. But I miss her so
much!" A tremendous wave of
loneliness swept over him, and he wondered if Hoss or Adam felt as lonely when
they thought of their mothers, if indeed they ever thought of them.
Jim sat down his teacup with a clatter. His large hands were almost too big to handle
the delicate china. "Your tree is
beautiful," he told Joe. He stared
at it for a moment. "It reminds me
of the last Christmas I had at home."
"When was that?" Joe asked.
"Three - no, four- years ago," Jim replied
quietly.
"Did you have a tree like this?"
Jim opened his mouth as though to speak, then gave a
deep sigh. "No, not this big,"
he finally said. "It was smaller,
though it seemed as big, because it filled our whole room. But our room was a lot smaller than
this. I had just been called to active
duty, and had to leave right after Christmas, in January of '42. We got the biggest tree we could find, and
had a Christmas celebration that we hoped no one would ever forget." He stared at the fire. "Johnny - my son- had a wonderful
time." Jim swallowed hard.
"I - I'm sorry about your son, sir," said Joe
awkwardly.
Jim nodded, acknowledging Joe's expression of
sympathy. "I wasn't there when he
died," he said hoarsely. "I
should have been there."
"You couldn't be, sir, if you were fighting a
war," reasoned Joe. "At least
you have a happy last memory of him."
"I still should have been there, or gone home after
I was released from the hospital instead of staying in
Joe stared at him, shocked by his outburst. He wondered what this man had gone through,
and what he hadn't told them that could possibly be any more grim than what he
had already shared. "I'm sure he
would have known you, sir, and been proud of you," Joe replied with quiet
certainty.
Jim looked at him closely. "What makes you so certain,
Joseph?"
"He'd know you," Joe said with quiet
confidence. "And he'd be proud of
you, the same way I'd know and be proud of my mother."
"Your mother?" asked Jim.
"Yes, sir," replied Joe. "My mother died when I was a small
child. I barely remember her. Not too long ago, someone came into town,
saying nasty things about her; about her past, I mean, before she met and
married my father. I spent a lot of time
fighting people, defending her honor."
Jim looked knowingly at him. "That's how you got your black
eye."
Joe laughed self-consciously. "Yes, sir. A fight over my mother, who is
dead."
"But you believe in your mother." Jim's voice carried across the room.
"Yes, of course!" Joe said defensively.
"Good!" exclaimed Jim. "If a man won't fight for something he
believes in, what good is he? I had to
go overseas to fight against the Germans and their allies, to do my part to
keep them from taking over the whole world and destroying the freedoms and way
of life I know. I also had to miss my
son's death while doing it. Maybe I
should have gone home right away after getting out of that field hospital. My wife needed me. But I was needed in
Joe fought back tears to no avail. "I -
I missed something, too, sir.
While I was in town, fighting drunken gamblers about my mother's honor,
my father sent Adam, my oldest brother, to check up on me. While we were both gone - because of me - my
father and my brother Hoss had to leave with some other men to chase down some
rustlers who had stolen some cattle.
They got in a shoot-out, and - one man was killed." Joe swallowed and gasped, "If Adam and I
had been there, we may have been able to have stopped it. Maybe that man wouldn't have been
killed. But he's dead, and now his wife
and children are alone-"
"Joseph!"
Joe stopped as the Colonel looked hard at him. "Do you actually think you might have
changed things? How can you know what
might have been? How can you know that
divine providence didn't arrange it in just such a way as this?" Jim looked at the crackling fire behind the
boy, and the pictures and Bible on the table pushed out of the way against the
wall. "Yes, you ran off,
hot-headed, perhaps, defending your mother's honor. And someone else died while you were away. But your mother's memory is still there,
unchanged, despite what anyone thinks or does.
Nothing can change your memory, unless you let it." He looked sharply at Joe. "You did what you had to do, at the time
you had to do it. Let it go at
that. Move on. Your mother, I believe, would be proud of
you." Jim looked Joe in the eye, and a tear rolled down his cheek. "You look so much as I imagine my son
Johnny would look, were he grown. You
are a young man, a son, anyone would be proud of."
Joe nearly choked.
"Even though I wasn't there during a shoot-out, when my father and
brother needed me? And when I took
another brother away to check up on me, so he wasn't there either? Even when a man with a wife and children was
killed when I might have prevented it?"
"Even so; especially so," said Jim,
"since you were fighting for someone you loved and believed in." He smiled at the young man before him. "So many of us, during this war, wished
we could be two, or even three, places at once.
But we couldn't. We had families;
yet we were called on to defend our country.
We had to be one place in order to fight for what we believed was
important in another." He smiled as
he fought tears. "You've done well,
John- Joseph. You did the best you
could. And that's all anyone could
ask." He put a strong hand on Joe's
shoulder. Joe looked him in the eye and
tried to smile through his tears.
A strong gust of wind blew the tree's branches about and
rushed up the chimney as Hoss came back in.
"It's gettin' colder 'n ole Billy b'dang out there! I think there's another storm blowin'
in! I sure hope Mrs. Willis and them
kids can get here tomorrow! I'm thinkin'
maybe one of us should go there and get them, instead of lettin' them drive
over here alone!" He hurried to the
fire and stood in front of it, rubbing his hands together. "Hey, Joe, where's Pa? I need to talk to him about something."
"Pa went up to the attic with Adam to get the
Christmas decorations down," said Joe.
He looked toward the top of the stairs.
"I think I hear them coming back downstairs now." Scraping and thumping noises resounded over
their heads, followed by Ben and Adam's footsteps descending the stairs. Hoss and Joe helped carry several big crates
down the steps.
"Well, come on, everyone, let's start
decorating!" exclaimed Adam. He
looked around the room. "Where are
the ladders? We can't get the tinsel on
the tree, or any decorations near the top, without them."
"Dadgumit!" exclaimed Hoss. "Pa, why did you tell me to take them
ladders back out to the shed? Now I
gotta go back out in this cold to get them!"
Everyone except Hoss laughed. "No, Hoss, just leave them until
tomorrow," said
Hoss furrowed his brow and frowned. "What makes you say that, Pa?" Much to his chagrin, everyone laughed
again. "What's so funny?" he
demanded.
"Hoss, some of us nearly died to get this tree
up," Adam reminded him.
Hoss's brows drew further together. "Well, it wasn't my fault!" he
growled.
"No, no, of course not," Ben placated
him. "We were all just hungry, and
tired, that's all. We ARE all hungry and
tired, and need something to eat."
He looked hopefully toward the table.
"Surely supper will be ready soon," he muttered wishfully.
As if on cue, Hop Sing emerged from the kitchen door and
began setting the table. "Supper
almost ready. Wash up, and sit down, or
chicken and dumplings will be ruined."
"Chicken and dumplings! Now, don't that sound good!" exclaimed
Hoss as he made a beeline for the table.
"Wash up!
Wash up! I do not feed boys with
dirty hands and faces!" Hop Sing
waved all of them away from the table and through the door, where they
proceeded to wash up.
As they started to eat, Hoss said to Ben, "Pa, I
saw some strange goings-on outside while I was taking them ladders back to the
shed. There were lots of lights off to
the north, and strange, loud noises. I
couldn't figure what any of it might be."
He took a big bite of chicken.
"Maybe we ought to go out and take a look around after dinner. Or tomorrow morning. Can't do much in the dark, but we would be
able to see those lights, if they come back."
Joe and Adam stopped eating. Adam put his fork on his plate, while Joe's
fork remained suspended between the plate and his mouth with a tantalizing bite
of chicken with gravy on it. Ben was
staring at Hoss, meaning to ask him what he meant by lights and noises, but
turned instead toward his other two sons.
Joe and Adam looked first at Hoss, then at each other. When they noticed their father looking hard
at them, they immediately turned their attention back to their food.
Looking at his oldest and youngest sons, Ben said,
"What do you mean, Hoss? What kind
of lights, and what sort of noise?"
"Well, uh -" Hoss looked from his father to
his brothers. "It's kind of hard to
explain,
Joe sneaked a glance up from his plate toward Adam, who
kept eating. "Nothing, Hoss,"
said Joe. "We're not keeping
anything from you."
Adam glanced quickly at the Colonel, who was hungrily
devouring one of the best meals he'd had since he left for the war. Jim smiled politely at Adam in between
mouthfuls of dumplings and beans. As he
took a sip of piping hot tea, he noticed Ben's blazing brown eyes beneath
lowered brows glaring at him with scarcely muted fury, and drew back, puzzled
and alarmed. As all eyes at the table
turned toward him, he put down his cup and said, "Gentlemen, is something
amiss?"
Adam looked at his father. "No, sir, Colonel," he
replied. "Nothing's wrong. We're just - tired, that's all."
"Yeah," agreed Joe. "We're tired. Aren't we, Pa?" Ben said nothing, but looked hard at Joe and
Adam.
The Colonel sighed, and looked down at his plate. "I'm sorry to put you to so much
trouble," he apologized.
"It's no trouble, sir," Joe assured him. "You're no trouble at all."
Ben managed to give a tight smile to his guest. He leaned slightly toward Hoss and hissed,
"You must have been seeing things!"
Hoss shrugged and kept eating. Maybe he had been imagining things, as his
father thought. It had all occurred so
quickly that he couldn't be certain. But
now, the house was warm, the food was good, and Christmas was coming. He'd worry about what he had seen outside -
if he had seen anything - later.
****************
Hoss awakened suddenly during the night, and listened
intently. Some sound had roused him
immediately and completely from a deep sleep.
He wasn't frightened; he hadn't even been startled awake, but he knew
that something was amiss. He listened
closely to the deep silence of the
There it was again!
A deep, resonating sound echoed about outside. Hoss threw the covers back and rose
stealthily. As soon as his feet touched
the cold floor, he hastily pulled on his socks.
He grabbed his robe from the foot of his bed as he went to the window,
and pulled it tightly about him.
He looked out into the eerie blackness lit only by the
sliver of moon. The resonating
vibrations grew more focused and changed pitch, growing higher, then
lower. Hoss furrowed his brow as he
looked at the sky, hoping to see the moon was behind a cloud, and might soon
give more light. But the moon rode in a
clear sky, and was already beginning its descent to the west.
Hoss saw Andromeda and Cassiopeia in the western sky,
and watched them for a moment. He swore
that bright, fuzzy star in Andromeda winked at him. The two constellations were lower in the sky
than they had been last October, when Adam had pointed out that star to
him. His brother had mentioned it more
than once in that peculiar way of his, and had always emphasized how bright it
was. Adam had a funny way of putting
things. He talked as though that star
could be another whole world in itself.
The fluid sound vibrated up the stairs. Hoss turned around, half irritated. "Doggone if that isn't Adam playing his
guitar, waking everyone up!" But he
knew it couldn't be Adam's guitar, unless Adam was making it play differently
than he had ever heard it. He left his
room and went quietly down the hall to the stairs. He suddenly stopped, and his breath caught in
his throat. Someone was standing
there. He could see nothing in the dark,
even with the moonlight dimly illuminating the hall outside his room, but he
could feel someone there, and he had heard the scritch of clothes against the
wall.
"Who's there?" he asked.
"It's me, Hoss," he heard Ben reply from the
top of the stairs.
"Pa? What's
that sound?"
"I don't know, son.
Maybe some of the hands are up to something in the bunkhouse."
Neither of them could figure what that something might
be.
"I thought it might be Adam's guitar," said
Hoss.
"It's not a guitar," said Ben. He didn't say what he thought it could be.
"Sounds like it's coming from downstairs now,"
said Hoss.
As the two men descended the stairs, the sound faded
away. They looked about, but found
nothing. "Well, perhaps we were
dreaming," said Ben.
Hoss started to say it was a pretty strange dream that
happened at the same time, the same way for both of them, but jumped
instead. His eyes grew big, and he
pointed to the window next to the table.
"Pa! Look! There's those lights again!"
Ben turned around.
Through the window, he could see lights flashing in the northern
sky. A low rumble resounded from far
away, growing in intensity until the windows shook. Heedless of the cold and his nightclothes,
Hoss ran to the door. "Hoss!"
called Ben. "Don't go
outside!"
But Hoss ran out anyway, leaving the door open behind
him. Ben ran to the doorway, and both
stared above them. Something huge with
flashing lights was flying directly toward them. The low rumble had become a roar. Hoss and Ben both ducked, fearful that
whatever it was they were seeing would hit the house. Suddenly, it disappeared. The lights and sound were gone as well. They searched the sky all about them, but
only the stars shone, and the moon set as they were looking.
Ben took hold of Hoss's arm. "Come on, son. Let's get inside." As he left the mystery of the lights and
flying machine outside, Hoss took one last look at the western horizon. Andromeda once again twinkled brightly at
him.
Ben shut the door, and father and son looked at one
another. Then Ben stared at the floor while
Hoss peered anxiously out the window, hoping and dreading to catch another
glimpse of whatever spectacular sight he had just witnessed. "Pa," said Hoss, "what did we
just see out there?"
"I - I don't know," said Ben. "Maybe we need to go to bed. We must be - seeing things."
"Together?"
Hoss shot the word like an accusation.
Ben was speechless.
"Pa, we need to figure out what just happened! We aren't dreaming, and we can't imagine the
same things together! Now, let's go back
out there, and see what we can find!"
Ben put a restraining hand on his son's arm. "Hoss, what makes you think we'd find
anything? There was nothing there when
we went inside. Besides, it's too cold
and too dark to be going back out there tonight." Hoss stared at him for a moment, wanting to
argue but finding no words. "We can
always check tomorrow morning for - footprints, or, or tracks," continued
Ben.
Reluctantly, Hoss nodded. "Yeah.
Yeah, I guess we can do that."
He nodded again. "First
light."
Ben resisted the urge to turn and look out the
window. "We'd best get back to
bed. We have company coming tomorrow,
and a couple of big days ahead of us."
Wordlessly, Hoss preceded his father up the stairs.
The music wove itself into Adam's dreams, which shifted
from slogging through the mud after stubborn, bewildered cattle to a concert
hall he had frequented while in
Finally, the music penetrated his consciousness, and he
recognized it as the cello music he had heard that night last October, after
Joe had come home so late from an outing with Ellen. Fully awakened, he opened his eyes and stared
at the darkness about him, trying to convince himself that he wasn't actually
hearing what he was hearing. As the
music grew louder instead of fading away as he willed it to do, he turned over
and put his pillow tightly about his ears.
Long before he could settle down enough to go back to sleep, however, a
deep rumble that vibrated from the floor up through his bed made him open his
eyes. He saw lights flashing against the
trees outside his window, and heard the now-familiar low rumbling noise
increasing to a roar. He hurled the
covers over his head, wrapped the pillow back around his ears, and buried his
face in the bed.
Joe started out of a sound sleep when he heard the
music. He bolted upright in bed, and
stared about him. For a moment, he
thought it was last October, after he had returned from Ellen's, and had heard
that music on his way home. As the sound
faded, he realized that it was two months later. It must be Christmas Eve by now. What was that sound? Why was he hearing it again, here, now? Maybe Adam....? No.
That wasn't Adam's guitar. Adam
never woke anybody when he couldn't sleep, unless something was wrong.
He held his breath, trying to detect any sound in the
silence now about him. There was
something....He fancied he heard a low rumble.
His window rattled, and so did the breath in his throat. As the roar surrounded the house, he put his
hands over his ears and waited for it to stop.
He saw the trees outside dimly illumined in flashing light, and squeezed
his eyes tightly shut. In the sudden
silence that followed the sound, he heard the door close downstairs, followed
by stealthy footsteps on the stairs and in the hall, and two bedroom doors
closing. He lay back down and tried to
go back to sleep. It took a long time
for his ragged breathing and pounding heart to get back to normal.
Early the next morning, Joe went to the barn to help
with the chores. He saw footprints in
the shallow cover of new snow that had fallen after they had brought the tree
in the house the night before, and noted with surprise that they didn't lead to
the stable, but continued out of sight in the opposite direction. One of his brothers
must have gone for a walk this morning, he mused. He lit a lantern and began feeding the
stock. Just as he was wondering if
either of his brothers was going to join him, Hoss entered the barn. He grabbed a pitchfork and assisted Joe in
mucking out stalls.
"G'morning, brother," said Joe.
"Mornin', Joe."
They worked in silence for a moment.
"Been someplace already this morning?" asked
Joe.
"I, uh...just went to check on a few things over by
the corral. Pa wanted me to...to, check on
the fence over there."
"Oh? What
was wrong with the fence?"
"He, uh, wasn't sure; that's why he wanted me to
check it out."
They worked in silence for a few moments, then Hoss
nervously cleared his throat. "Say,
Joe? Did you...umm....hear anything last
night?"
Joe stopped working and stared wide-eyed at his
brother. The memory of the sounds that
had awakened him the night before, forgotten and distant as a dream when he
rose that morning, suddenly returned.
"Hear anything?" He
turned back to his work. "Like
what?"
Hoss sighed. How
could he explain this without sounding as though he was crazy? He returned to work with a vengeance. "Well...let me put it this way: Did anything wake you up last night?"
Joe considered the question for a moment. "Yeah, I had some dreams," he
admitted. They finished the chores in
silence and went in the house.
Adam poured himself another cup of coffee and bit into a
warm biscuit. His father had just told
him to leave shortly after breakfast to pick up the Willis family. Adam swallowed his bite of biscuit and said,
"Will there be room enough in the sleigh, do you think?"
"I should think so.
There's Mrs. Willis and the three children, and you. There should be room enough."
"But they're staying for two nights," said
Adam. "They'll have bags."
"Well -" Ben looked puzzled. "How much can they bring?"
Adam raised an eyebrow but said nothing. They could sit on their luggage if need be.
"Adam," Ben said earnestly, then paused. Adam took a deep breath. He thought he knew what was coming. "Last night," Ben continued,
"did you - hear anything?"
Adam opened his mouth, and quickly shut it. "Hear anything?"
"Yes! Any -
noise, music, or - well - any sounds - you know..."
"Sounds," said Adam. "Uhhh..."
The spare bedroom door opened and the Colonel
appeared. "Good morning."
"Good morning, Jim," Adam and Ben echoed.
"Sit down, and have some breakfast," said
Ben. "Hop Sing will be right out
with some more coffee."
Jim helped himself to a biscuit. While Hop Sing set a platter of bacon and
eggs on the table, along with another pot of coffee, Ben asked, "I trust
you slept well last night?"
"Yes, I did," said Jim as he enthusiastically
served himself a large portion of food.
"Better than I have in a long time.
I imagine that good dinner I got last night helped. A man doesn't get such good food on the
battlefield, you know. Or even elsewhere
while he's serving in the air f- the army.
There's nothing that can beat good home cooking." Hop Sing beamed as he returned to the
kitchen.
While Jim hungrily devoured his meal, Adam drank a final
cup of coffee . "Well, Pa,
Jim," he said as he stood, "I'm off.
I'll tend to a few things in the barn, then I'll get the Willis
family." As he left the house, Joe
and Hoss entered.
"Mr. Donovan," Ben was saying as Hoss and Joe
took off their coats, "you mentioned yesterday that you speak fluent
German."
"That's right." Jim scraped the last scraps of food from his
plate to his mouth, and helped himself to more.
"My mother grew up in central Pennsylvania, with the Pennsylvania
Dutch. She spoke German as a child, and
I learned it also as a child, from hearing her speak it. There was a German community not far from
where I grew up in Illinois, and I had some friends among the children
there. I didn't have much trouble
understanding folks in Germany once I got there."
Ben tried not to stare at his guest as he ate. "What was it you said you did in the
war, Mr. Donovan?"
The colonel looked at his host for a long minute, noting
his serious attitude, yet detecting an underlying discomfort. "I don't expect you to believe me, Mr.
Cartwright, but I flew a fighter plane.
An airplane."
"And what exactly, Colonel, is an airplane?"
asked Ben.
Joe and Hoss slowly approached the table as Jim
answered. "An airplane is a machine
that flies in the sky. It is big, and
heavy, but is shaped in such a way and has engines that allow it to fly. We've had the technology for airplanes since
- oh, since 1903, though it has come a long ways since then." He took another sip of coffee as Hoss and Joe
sat down. "An airplane would appear
to be pretty strange to you. Big, heavy,
and noisy. I flew a fighter plane. We dropped bombs - like your grenades, only
from the air - on enemy targets."
He put his fork down, as though his appetite was suddenly diminished.
"So it would make enough noise to wake a man up, if
it flew over his house at night?" asked Hoss.
Jim nodded.
"That's right. If it was
flying close enough, or if you're not accustomed to sleeping through it, it
would wake you up." He looked closely at Hoss, wondering at the
question.
Ben looked at Hoss.
"Good morning, Hoss, Joe."
The brothers nodded.
"Good morning, Pa."
They divided the remains of breakfast between them, and Hoss scowled at
the pitiful portion before him.
Fortunately, Hop Sing returned from the kitchen at that moment with yet
more food, muttering under his breath in Chinese. Hoss gratefully scooped another generous
offering of food onto his plate. Joe
snatched the platter from his brother and dumped the rest on his own
plate.
"Did you sleep well, Joseph?"
Joe looked at his father, puzzled at the unusual
question. "Uh, yeah, Pa, I slept
just fine, thanks."
"You didn't hear anything?" probed Ben.
Joe nearly choked as he swallowed his coffee. "No, Pa, I - well, I - had some
dreams. But nothing bad, and I don't
remember what they were," he rushed to say before his father could ask
more questions.
Ben looked at his youngest son as he refused to meet his
father's gaze, and then looked at Hoss.
Everyone finished eating in silence.
****************
When Adam pulled the heavily loaded sleigh before the door
early that afternoon, the horses were blowing and their sides heaving. Adam had managed to fit the lady and three
children, along with all their luggage, into the sleigh, though he privately
wondered how many bags of clothes and other belongings it took for a family to
manage for a couple of days away from home.
Elizabeth and John, the two youngest children, had to ride on top of
some bags, while Paul, the eldest, held one on his lap, as did their mother
Joanna.
Before Adam had completely stopped, the children began
leaping to the ground. "Whoa!"
shouted Adam, yanking hard on the reins so the children wouldn't get caught
under the runners.
"Paul, come back here!" called his
mother. "You help Mr. Adam carry
the bags in the house," she admonished him as the youngster turned back
impatiently.
The other two children ran to the door. Elizabeth stopped, but John reached up with
both hands and turned the doorknob. As
he disappeared into the house, his sister turned around. "Mama!
John just went inside without knocking!"
"Oh!" Her mother shook her head in
frustration. "That child! You should have held onto him,
Elizabeth!"
"Paul ran in, too, and threw his bag on the
floor," Elizabeth said.
Adam laughed.
"It's all right," he assured her. "Let them go in." As he saw her lift a bag from the sleigh, he
added, "Please, Ma'am, don't bother.
My brothers should be out in a minute, and they can help me. You just go on inside."
"Nothing saying I can't carry my own bag," she
said as she determinedly lifted it.
"Mama!
Mama!" Adam and Joanna
turned to see John standing outside the front door, which was wide open. "You should see this tree they
have! It's huge! It's the biggest tree I've ever seen
anywhere!" Laughter echoed behind
him in the house.
"John, where are your manners?" his mother
chided. "Running into the house
without knocking, without being invited in!
And you've left the door standing open!" She and Adam made their way to the house.
"But we were invited, Mama! Remember?
Mr. Cartwright invited us! And
Elizabeth left the door open, not me.
But I'll shut it." He ran
inside and shut the door just as Adam and Joanna, their hands full of luggage,
reached it. Mrs. Willis rolled her eyes
toward Heaven in a mute appeal for help, while Adam laughed, put down a bag,
and pushed the door open.
Hoss was pulling tinsel out of a crate on the floor, and
feeding it up to Ben on the ladder, who twined it carefully about the tree as
far as he could reach. Joe, also on a
ladder, then took it and put it about the other side of the tree. After the long strands of silver and gold
tinsel were in place, they would hang
the ornaments.
Ben descended the ladder, and went to greet his
guests. "Hello, Mrs. Willis! How nice to see you again!"
"Hello, Mr. Cartwright," she replied. "Thank you for inviting us. The children have been so eager to
come." She stopped as she saw Hoss
grab John by the seat of the pants as he scampered up the ladder. "John!" she reproved.
Ben laughed.
"It's nice to have some young ones excited about Christmas in the
house."
"Come sit down, all of you," ordered Mrs.
Willis.
"But we've been sitting," said Elizabeth. "Can we go outside and make a
snowman?"
"I think there's enough snow out there for a snowman,"
said Joe.
"You've been out in the cold long enough,"
objected their mother. "Get warmed
up, and maybe Mr. Cartwright will let you help decorate the tree."
But the children were already pulling on their coats and
other wraps. As he hurriedly wrapped his
scarf about his neck, Paul nearly knocked a lamp off of the table in his
excitement.
Joanna Willis threw her hands up in surrender. "All right! All right!
Go outside, and freeze again, before you tear the house apart! But if you don't settle down when you come
back in, we'll get back in that sleigh and go right back home!"
Upon hearing these words, Adam groaned and rolled his
eyes as he struggled inside with yet more luggage. The children skillfully dodged him as they
dashed out the door. In his effort not
to step on or run into them, Adam tripped, and fell on the bags he was
carrying.
"'Scuse me, Adam," said Joe as he jumped over
his brother and ran out after the children.
Adam disgustedly untangled himself from the luggage, and
slammed the door shut after his younger brother. "While the little kids play, how about
some help with this luggage, Hoss?"
"Sure, Adam."
Hoss moved one of the ladders out of the way so no one would run into it
when the room was full again. He picked
up several of the bags and headed toward Adam's room. As Adam opened the door, letting the cold in,
Hoss turned and stared at him with a puzzled look. "Where are you going?"
"To get some more of it."
Hoss glanced at their guest, who was deep in conversation
with their father. "You mean
there's more?" he whispered.
"You have no idea," Adam whispered back.
Finally, the bags were upstairs, the sleigh put in the
barn, and the horses tended. Hoss went outside to help build the snowman,
and discovered a snowball fight in progress instead. Adam gathered what he would need from his
room while their guests stayed, and moved his belongings to the study.
Hop Sing had brought out some tea shortly after the
children went back outside, and had promised gingerbread cookies in a
while. As Joanna Willis warmed herself
before the fire with a cup of tea in her hand, she told Ben, "I can't tell
you what it meant to the children to be invited here for Christmas. Losing their father was such a devastating
blow." She stared bleakly into the
fire. No tears came to her eyes. She had spent them all.
"We were all very sorry about Tom," Ben gently
replied. "I wish there was
something more we could do."
"Just having us here for the holiday is doing a
great deal," the widow replied. She
gazed at the tree. "What a
magnificent tree!"
"Thank you!
The boys had quite a time finding it.
They always outdo themselves."
"So it would seem.
I imagine it was rather difficult to get up, wasn't it?"
"Well....yes, now that you mention it, it was a tad
difficult." Ben laughed as he
recalled the near catastrophes that had occurred while bringing that tree into
the house. "We were looking forward
to having the children help us decorate it."
"They'll enjoy that Ben," she said
gratefully. "But they mustn't get
on the ladders. I could see them leaping
off the ladder onto the stairs!"
"My boys will help them," Ben assured her.
Hop Sing came into the room with more tea, cups, and
plates, along with a pitcher of milk. He
was followed by the Colonel who carried a big platter of gingerbread
cookies. As he sat the huge assortment
on the table by the fire, the Colonel announced, "We have cookies!"
"So I see!" said Ben. "All shapes and sizes, too!"
"They look and smell delicious," said Joanna.
"Make lots of cookies for company," said Hop
Sing. "Colonel want to help, so I
have him decorate cookies!"
Jim smiled.
"Figured I might as well make myself useful." He looked at Mrs. Willis. As Ben hastened to introduce them, Hop Sing
went to the front door and called everyone in for gingerbread cookies, tea, or
milk, then angrily scolded as they tried to run in without wiping their feet or
removing their boots.
At their mother's
insistence, the children lined up and picked out only a few cookies apiece,
which they carried to the table, despite their desire to eat with the adults by
the fireplace. Jim poured their drinks
and carried them to the table.
"Here's tea for you," he said as he set a cup before
Paul. "And your mother said you
could have cambric tea, my dear."
He placed the weak tea with plenty of milk in it before Elizabeth. As he placed a large glass of cold milk in
front of John, he said, "And you get the biggest glass of milk in the
house." John looked at it and
frowned for a second. He looked
longingly at his sister's cambric tea and his brother's tea.
Elizabeth pulled her drink out of his reach. "You asked for milk," she reminded
him.
"That's the best milk in the house," assured
Jim.
John picked up the glass and took a taste, then nodded
his approval and set it down. "It
tastes real good." He took a big
bite of cookie, then looked curiously at the man before him. "Aren't you going to eat?"
"No, I sneaked a few cookies out in the
kitchen," Jim whispered.
"Didn't Mr. Hop Sing get mad at you?" asked
Elizabeth incredulously, shaking her blonde braids over her shoulder.
Jim leaned closer to the children. "I did it while he wasn't looking,"
he whispered. "Don't tell
him!" Elizabeth giggled.
"What are those funny marks on your face?"
John asked. Paul frowned at his little
brother from across the table, and John squirmed in his seat.
Jim smiled kindly.
"That's ok, son. I was
burned during a battle, and that left scars on my face."
"What's your name?" John inquired as he took a
big bite of his second cookie. This
forward behavior toward an adult earned him another frown from his older
brother.
"I mean," said the younger boy hastily,
"my name is John." He
impatiently brushed his tousled curls from his eyes.
Jim smiled sadly at the lad, thinking of his own son
Johnny's curls. "It's nice to meet
you, John. My name is Mr. Donovan. Colonel Donovan, actually. You may call me either name you like."
"Colonel?" asked John, obviously puzzled. "What's that mean?"
"Colonel!" exclaimed Paul at the same time.
"You're the soldier, I bet!" said Elizabeth.
"Have you seen Indians?"
"Did you fight them? What are they like?"
"Did they burn your face?"
"Oh, boy! I
wish I could see Indians!"
"Where did Adam find you?"
"Whoa!
Whoa!" laughed Jim.
"One at a time, please!"
When they were quiet, he continued.
"First of all, I don't know your names." He looked at the older two.
"I'm Paul, and this is Elizabeth."
"It's very nice to meet both of you. How old are you?"
"I'm nine," said Paul. "Elizabeth is seven, and John is
five."
"Nine, seven, and five," the Colonel
repeated. "Hopefully, I won't mix
you up. Now, who told you about me? Adam?"
He doubted very much that Adam had said anything to Mrs. Willis and the
children about finding him. Adam seemed
a very reticent man, whom he believed would be reluctant to speak freely about
something he did not yet comprehend. He
may have mentioned that there was another guest at the house, but Jim doubted
that Adam would have said much more than that.
"No, it wasn't Adam," said John. "It was Toby. He said that yesterday when he was in town,
he heard those gamblers at the saloon-"
"Toby's our hired hand," interrupted
Paul. "He's been with us for a long
time. He's staying with us now, and is
looking after our place for us while we're here. He's not leaving, even though our Papa's dead
and we can't pay him much."
All the children looked down at their plates, and
stopped eating. Elizabeth bit her lip
and fought against tears, and John wiped his eyes.
"Anyway," Paul continued, "he went into
town, and heard that Mr. Adam found you, and you were dressed up in a soldier's
uniform, but something was - different about it. Sometimes, when Toby comes back from town, he
tells a lot of tall tales. You can't
always believe every story he tells."
He glared at his younger brother.
"But everyone says you're a soldier," insisted
Elizabeth. "Are you?"
Jim sat down next to Paul and across from John. "Yes, I am."
"Wow!" exclaimed Paul, obviously impressed.
"Where's your uniform?" asked John.
"I'm finished fighting right now, so I'm not
wearing it."
"Did you say you're a Colonel?" asked Paul.
"That's right."
"What's a Colonel?" asked Elizabeth, trying
the word out carefully on her tongue.
"That's an officer in the air- in the army. It's my rank, which means my level. There are other officers who are my
superiors. That means they're in charge
of me. And I'm in charge of other
officers, as well as other men below them."
John looked at him closely. "I bet you were in charge of a lot of
people."
Jim met his gaze.
"Why do you say that, son?"
"Because you listen to people, and I bet they'd
listen to you, too."
Jim fought mightily to keep tears from spilling down his
cheeks. "Well, there were plenty of
people also in charge of me," he finally managed to say.
"Is it true that the Indians do awful things, like torturing
people?" asked Elizabeth.
"Some people say that they like to hurt people really, really
bad."
"Elizabeth," reproved Paul, "Mama says
you're not supposed to eavesdrop when those people talk!"
"You listen, too!" argued his sister. "We can't help it if we hear them. They talk right in front of us like we're not
even there." She looked expectantly
at Jim, waiting for an answer to her question.
"The Indians aren't the only bad guys," said
the Colonel heavily. "People on
both sides do terrible things in any war.
Sometimes, one side does act worse than the other." He thought of the concentration camps and
briefly closed his eyes. When images of
the sisters and their children appeared in his mind, he quickly opened
them.
"I wouldn't like to fight," Elizabeth said
thoughtfully. "I'd rather
talk. Will the Indians talk to
people?"
"You can't talk to people when you're fighting
them," said Paul almost contemptuously.
"It's a horrible business, to fight a war,"
the Colonel continued. The children
watched him, subdued at his somber tone.
"You find yourself killing
people you've never seen. You're
surprised at what you do; what you're trying to do. People do - they get desperate." He sighed deeply, realizing he could never
explain to them so they could understand.
He looked at Elizabeth.
"To answer your question, young lady, yes, the Indians have
tortured people. But the whites have
committed terrible crimes against the
Indians, too. I bet you didn't know
that."
Elizabeth shook her head. "What did they do?" she asked
tremulously.
"Such things are not for family discussion,"
said Jim, regretting he had upset her.
"Especially not on Christmas eve.
I bet you're expecting Santa to come!"
The two younger children brightened immediately, and
began discussing what they wanted Santa to bring. Paul rolled his eyes and looked aside. When the Colonel caught his eye, he gave the
older boy a conspiratorial wink, but he wondered why a boy of his age wouldn't
believe in Santa.
They talked about last Christmas, which had been the
last one with their father, and the presents they had received then. When the Colonel asked them about family
traditions,
"He always said he'd get Santa next year, and
called him a mean old man, but we knew he was just playing," said
John. "It was funny!"
"Why aren't you going home for Christmas?"
asked Paul.
Jim swallowed nervously.
"I - I can't right now. It's
too far away, and I was - hurt for a while.
So I'll be here for Christmas, and will go home - later."
"Where is your home?" asked Elizabeth.
The Colonel opened his mouth to say "South
Dakota," and stopped himself just in time.
"Far to the northeast of here, in
"A lot of Indians live there, don't they?"
asked Paul. "I bet that's where you
fought! Why did you come here?"
Jim smiled.
"I'm not sure," he replied softly. "I was ill when Mr. Adam found me. There is a lot I don't remember."
"Do you live with your papa?" John's wide-open
hazel eyes, brown curls, and innocent
stare disarmed the Colonel, and he was unable to restrain a couple of
tears.
"No."
He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket. "I live with my wife. My papa lives very far away, in the East, and
we don't see each other often." He
dabbed at his eyes again.
John nodded.
Still looking at him, the boy said, "You miss your papa. I miss mine, too." Sadly, he stared out the window into the darkening
afternoon. "My papa was killed by
bad men."
"I heard," Jim said softly. "I'm very sorry." Again, he fought back tears.
"Do you and your wife have any children?"
asked Elizabeth.
Jim started to answer, but the breath escaped from his
mouth in a sob instead. His voice was
tight as he replied, "No."
"You don't?" asked the girl.
"We had a son, but he died about a year ago."
"Did he die right before Christmas, too?" Paul asked.
Jim nodded.
"Did bad people kill him?" asked John.
Jim shook his head.
"No. He died because - he
was sick." Again a tear escaped his
vigilance.
"How old was he?" asked Elizabeth.
"Five, not quite six years old." The Colonel looked at John.
"Then that was a sad Christmas for you," said
Elizabeth.
"Yes. Yes,
it was very lonely. See, I had been away
at war for a long time, and hadn't seen my wife and son in years. I wasn't there when he died."
John climbed down from his chair and walked around the
table to the Colonel. "I wasn't
there when my papa died, either," he said simply. He climbed into his friend's lap, and the
Colonel drew him close. Tears flowed
down their faces as the fatherless child and the childless father drew comfort
from one another. Elizabeth and Peter
drew close together.
Silence fell as
everyone witnessed the scene between the boy and the man. Adam and Joe walked over to the table, and
Joe put his hands on Elizabeth and Peter's shoulders. "Hey, you two," he said. "How would you like to help decorate the
tree? It's been waiting for all of you,
once you're ready. Like to get
started?"
Hoss and Joe had finished putting on the tinsel, and had
brought out the other decorations while the children had eaten . Paul and Elizabeth hastened to examine and
hang the many ornaments. They marveled
at the colored balls, miniature horses, sparkly gold and silver bells, toy
drums, tin soldiers, and replicas of musical instruments.
"Where did you get these?" exclaimed
Elizabeth.
"Well, some of them our pa brought with him from
the East, though he couldn't bring many knickknacks like that with him,"
said Joe. "It's too long and hard a
trip out here. And some Adam sent from
Boston, when he went to school there."
"Wow!"
The children's eyes shone.
Joe rescued a box from John as he came to join the
fun. "I'm afraid that's an ornament
that needs special handling, John. I
need to put this one on the tree. Would
you like to see it?" Without
waiting for an answer, he leaned to the boy's ear and whispered, "I don't
even let Adam or Hoss handle this one!"
John snickered, and the other children gathered about as Joe lifted the
pretty thing from the soft cloths about it.
"Ohhh!"
"What is it?" asked Paul.
"It's made from an eggshell, with the front and
back sections cut out," explained Joe.
"Then, the outside was covered with red velvet, and the gold trim,
and the horse was placed inside."
The children looked at the beautiful horse standing
proudly inside the beautiful setting.
"How did you make it?" asked
"
Joe smiled.
"That's all right, Ma'am."
Looking back at
The Colonel sat and chatted with Ben and Mrs. Willis as
the children finished decorating the tree with some help from Hoss, Joe, and
Adam. Then Adam brought his guitar from
the study, and they sang some folk songs.
Ben and Jim danced with Joanna, and Joe danced with
"Mr. Hoss, why don't you dance with me?"
"Honey, if I danced with you, you wouldn't be able
to ever walk again," said Hoss.
The roast goose was succulent and so tender it nearly
melted in their mouths as they ate it.
They had whipped potatoes, with mounds of butter and gravy, and
stuffing.
"Mmmm, Mmmmm," exclaimed Hoss, when his mouth
was finally partly empty. "I don't
know how Hop Sing does it, but he always
comes through!" There were murmurs
of agreement around the table as everyone had second and even third
helpings. Hop Sing cleared the table and
brought out dessert: baked apples with
sweet syrup and cream. He smiled broadly
as he collected the well-scraped dishes, happy that everyone appreciated his
efforts.
As they all relaxed with a cup of coffee or tea, John
squirmed impatiently. "Can we open
presents now?" All of the adults,
even Hop Sing, laughed, while John's
siblings jumped all over him.
"You do this every year!"
"We have to wait for Santa!"
"He doesn't come until we're in bed!"
"All right, that's enough!" commanded Mrs.
Willis.
"I know what," said Adam. "Let's sing some Christmas carols! We can take turns choosing what songs we'll
sing. John, how would you like to make
first choice?"
John looked crestfallen, as though singing boring songs
was a poor substitute for opening gifts.
But he agreed politely.
"How about I bring out popcorn?" suggested Hop
Sing. "You pop over fire, and
string for tree!" The children
agreed enthusiastically, adding that they'd like to put some outside for the
birds.
While Hoss and Jim helped the children pop and string
the corn, Ben poured some brandy for himself and his sons. Jim declined.
He had started drinking after the war, while working with the aftermath
of the concentration camps, and had no desire to start again.
Adam began strumming his guitar while the children
popped the corn. Finally, during a lull
in the conversation, while Joe was putting a string high up on the tree, Adam
began humming "The First Noel."
Ben began singing, Joe joined in from his perch on the ladder, then
Hoss, then Mrs. Willis chimed in with her alto.
Finally, Jim added his voice, and
everyone stared in astonishment at his clear, beautiful tenor voice. Jim realized that he hadn't sung, or heard
anyone singing, for months on end. What
had there been to celebrate, that he or anyone about him should sing? Tears streamed down his face as the words
and interwoven harmonies pierced his soul.
When they finished that song,
Adam began "Hark! The Herald Angels
Sing," and they sang one song after another.
After "O Come All Ye Faithful," John asked if
they could take the extra strings of popcorn outside and hang them on a tree
near the door. His mother agreed,
provided they didn't stay outside too long.
It was getting late, and was time for bed. The moans and complaints that would
ordinarily have accompanied this condition were silenced by the realization
that it was Christmas Eve, and they had to go to bed soon, anyway, or Santa
would not come.
Jim and the children bundled up and took the popcorn
outside. It was bitterly cold, and a
light snow was falling. As they placed
the popcorn chains upon a couple of trees near the door, a wind arose which
blew the clouds away and revealed a bright, starry sky.
"Would we be able to see Santa in his sleigh if we
stayed up and watched?" asked
"No," said Paul "He doesn't want to be seen, so I doubt
that many people ever see him on Christmas Eve."
"Your brother's right," said Jim softly. "Children belong in bed, asleep, on
Christmas Eve."
John looked at the multitude of stars in the heavens
above him. "I wonder where all
those stars came from," he marveled.
He had never seen a sky so late at night before, as he always went to
bed early.
"God made them," pronounced
John was silent for a moment as he pondered the stars
and his sister's words. "Why did
God let my papa die?" he wondered.
Silence met his question.
"Couldn't God have kept the bad men from shooting
him?" John continued. "His
friends who were with him didn't die.
Why did he have to die?"
The Colonel put his hand on the child's head. "I don't know, John," he
replied. "I don't have all the
answers. I only know that God doesn't
stop people from doing evil. He could have stopped your papa's death, as he
could have stopped lots of suffering.
But he didn't. We don't always
understand what happens, or why. We
can't understand, sometimes. But we need
to go on with our lives, and make the most of them, and do the best we can,
despite what happens to us."
He paused as he looked at the barely visible moon
sinking behind the trees. "My
grandmother used to say that God holds us all in the palm of his hand. She said that the bad things that happened
belonged to 'the trust of the unexplained.'" He paused as he lifted the child in his
arms. "That means that no matter
how bad your life may seem at times, God is in charge. I guess we would all do well to remember that
tonight, wouldn't we?" They gazed at the stars and listened to the
profound silence, broken only by the wind which was dying down to a gentle
breeze, before they reluctantly went back to the house.
As they stripped off their wraps, Mrs. Willis said,
"It's time for children who expect Santa to come to go to bed!"
"Couldn't we have one more song?" asked Paul
as he stifled a yawn. He resented being
called a child.
Adam picked up his guitar before Joanna could
protest. "One more," he
pronounced. In a soft, deep voice, Adam
sang "Silent Night." John sat
in a chair to get his boots off. He had pulled
off one before Adam began singing.
Unable to remove the other one, he began taking off his coat
instead. He barely had one arm out of
the sleeve before he realized how tired he was.
He gave a huge yawn, and leaned back in the chair. He rubbed his eyes, yawned again, and fell
sound asleep, with "sleep in heavenly peace" echoing quietly in his
ears.
Jim pulled off the child's other boot, and removed all
his wraps. He picked him up and carried
him to Adam's room. As he laid him one
of the cots that had been prepared for the children, Adam began "O Holy
Night." John stirred and sighed
deeply.
"Can Papa hear that song?" John murmured. "He'd like it." He turned on his side and fell asleep again
as Jim tucked him in. As he left the
room, Jim cracked the door so they could hear him if he awakened, frightened in
the dark in a different house.
Finally, Mrs. Willis and the other two children went to
bed. The Cartwrights brought out all the
presents they had been hiding and put them under the tree, including presents
for the Willis family. In the morning,
the children would believe Santa had come.
Suddenly exhausted after the unusual activities of the past few days, they
gladly went to bed.
Outside, the gentle, cold breeze stopped completely. The bright multitude of stars shone over a
silent, snow-bound world. The moon had
set, but the starlight reflected off the
snow. The house was silent as everyone
slept. Low in the western sky, Andromeda
shimmered, pulsed, and grew, moment by moment, imperceptibly brighter.
Light as bright as the Christmas star a century and a
half before gradually waxed in the western sky.
Oblivious, the Cartwrights and their guests slept on. A slight tremor shook the earth, and the
Colonel awoke in the guest room. He sat
up in bed, and looked in alarm at the bright light flooding through the
window. Not daylight, but a brilliant,
white light cascading through a nighttime sky.
He got out of bed and walked over the cold floor to his window. The light grew too bright, and blinded
him. He closed his eyes.
The floor jerked beneath him, and he opened his eyes in
alarm. He wasn't looking out the window
into the night from the Cartwright's guest room, but was staring at the inside
of a small plane. He looked out the window
and saw a grey daytime sky, and houses and fields surrounded by fences below
him. When he glanced down at himself,
thinking that he must still be in his night clothes, he saw he was in full
dress uniform.
"Good afternoon, sir."
Colonel Donovan turned toward the voice.
"We're about 15 minutes from landing, sir. We'll have the ceremony shortly after we
land. Are you ready, sir?"
Disoriented and perplexed, Colonel Donovan stared at the
Captain. He was obviously a captain, as he
had two silver bars on his shoulder. The
Colonel finally recalled the name. He
was Captain Stanley, sent to escort the Colonel home. Colonel Donovan stared at the man.
"Sir, are you all right?"
"Uh - you said - we're about to land?"
"Yes, sir. They've
fixed up a landing strip in a field outside of Yankton, sir. We'll land there, and drive you back to town
for a short ceremony. You - do know that
you're expected to - say a few words, sir?" The captain wasn't certain that it was a good
idea to mention giving a speech at the moment.
The Colonel looked rather dazed and tired.
The Colonel nodded slowly. "Yes.
Yes, I realize that." He
leaned his head back. "I'll be
ready, Captain. Thank you."
Jim closed his eyes and tried to make sense of what was
happening. Had he really been to what
would become the state of
As he wiped his face, he thought the handkerchief felt
unusually coarse and thick. He looked
closely at it. It was a little heavier
and more densely woven than the cloth he was accustomed to, and he wondered
where it came from. He shook it open,
and saw in the corner of it the initials "BC." He clenched it tightly in his fist as he
recalled Ben Cartwright using those handkerchiefs. Ben had loaned him some while he was at the
Cartwright home. But how did this get in
his dress uniform pocket? Perhaps Hop
Sing had put it there for his later use, after he had cleaned and brushed the
uniform?
Jim clutched the handkerchief tightly as the plane began
its descent. He remembered the Willis
children, bereft of their father at such a young age. He didn't doubt that Ben and his sons would
help them through whatever rough times lay ahead. What a pity Ben Cartwright had not been in
Nazi Germany, Jim thought. A good man
like Ben who reached out to his neighbors like the Willises and a stranger like
himself might have been able to have influenced enough people to have stopped
the madness that took so many lives.
Perhaps not. Ben Cartwright
appeared to belong right where and when he was, just as he, Colonel James
Donovan, belonged in his own time.
The Colonel thought of the sisters who had come to him
in
"Captain?"
"Sir?"
"What is the date today?"
"The date, sir?
It's December 22, sir."
"1945."
Perhaps a statement, rather than a question, would be better received.
A pause.
"Yes, sir."
The Colonel sighed in relief.
He had no idea what he was going to say in these
"few words" that he was expected to say, but he did not doubt that
the words would come to him. He did know
that whatever monsters he might encounter, either in his life ahead of him or
from his past, he could now meet head on without fear. With the loss of his son, and the events he
had been forced to face in
******************
John awoke before dawn.
For what seemed a long time, he tried to lay still. He heard his mother say, "John, lie
still. It's not even light outside
yet."
"Is it Christmas?" John whispered.
"Not yet," said his mother firmly.
"But it was Christmas Eve when I went to bed,"
insisted John. "That means it must
be Christmas now."
"Not when you only sleep for a few minutes,"
Paul grumbled from the cot next to him.
"It must be Christmas!"
Their mother sighed.
"Yes, it is Christmas," she conceded. "But we mustn't wake the Cartwrights up
so early."
Elizabeth and John were already out of bed and down the
hall before she finished. "We'll be
quiet, we promise, Mama!" called John as he ran down the stairs after his
sister. He bumped into
"Where's the tree?" she whispered.
"I don't know; it's too dark," he
replied. "Can you light a
lamp?"
"Silly! I
don't even know where a lamp is!"
They both started as a door opened near them and a deep
voice said, "Wait a minute."
Light flickered from the study nearby, and Adam emerged with a lamp, his
blue robe thrown hastily on. His hair
was tousled, his face stubbly, and sleep was still in his eyes. "Is this what you're looking for?"
The children saw the tree decorations sparkling in the
light. They ran to the tree, and whooped
and hollered as they saw the pile of presents beneath it. "Bring the light closer, Mr. Adam!"
John called happily. "Then we can
see what presents are ours!"
"John and Elizabeth!" The children looked up to see their mother
standing on the stairs. "Look at
the clock!" They obediently looked
at the clock. "What time is it,
"It's - it's almost
"Does that mean it's time to open presents?"
asked John.
Adam laughed, and they heard Ben's booming laugh resound
from upstairs. "Yes, I guess that
means it's time to open presents," said Ben. "That is, IF you give us a chance to get
up and ready first!"
Joanna shooed John and Elizabeth back to the room to
dress, and insisted they wait until the Cartwrights were ready to go back
downstairs. Adam lit the fire, and Hop
Sing, ever attentive to his family's needs, came in with a pot of coffee,
chuckling at the antics of the children as they came down the steps.
"Where's the Colonel?" asked Hoss. "Don't tell me he's sleeping through all
this ruckus!"
"I guess we'd better wake him up," said Ben. "He needs to be here while we open gifts,
and I don't think it would be a good idea to wait much longer!"
Adam knocked on the guest room door. When there was no answer, he opened it and
looked inside. "Jim?" He took a lamp from the table near the tree,
and went in the room. When he came back
out, he said, "Pa! He's not in
here! His bed's been slept in, but he's
gone!"
"Well, he must be in there! Where else could he be? Has anyone seen him this morning?" They all looked at one another. No one had seen him.
They searched every room in the house, upstairs and
downstairs. Hop Sing searched the
kitchen with Joe. Finally, the men put
on their boots and coats, and went outside to search. One look was all it took to see that no snow
had fallen last night, as Jim's and the children's footprints were there from
the night before when they had put the popcorn chains on the trees. No one had been in the yard since last night,
as there were no other tracks leading to the stable or anywhere else. They searched all around the house, by each
door and window. There were no new
tracks. Adam went to the stable to see
if any horses were missing, but every horse and all the equipment was accounted
for.
"Mr. Cartwright!
Mr. Cartwright!" Hop Sing called as they looked again throughout
the house.
Ben came running.
"What is it, Hop Sing?"
"Colonel Donovan's uniform is gone! I clean and brush and press it, and I hang it
by laundry room door to take to his room once tree is up. But then, children are decorating, and
everyone busy, and Hop Sing forget. I
leave it, and now it gone!" He led
them to his laundry area, and showed them where the missing uniform had hung.
"Maybe it's in his room," said Joe.
Adam frowned.
"I didn't see it." He
went back to have another look.
"I'll look upstairs and in the study," said
Hoss.
Hoss came downstairs as everyone was again gathering
around the Christmas tree. "I
didn't find it," he said.
"Where's Adam?"
Adam walked slowly from the guest room. "I didn't find the uniform," he
said, "but I did find this."
He held out to his father the identification papers he had found in the
Colonel's pocket when they had first brought him to the house three days
earlier. Ben looked at them, and handed
them to Mrs. Willis.
"Colonel James Daniel
"Son," said Ben to Adam, "did you find
the wallet that these were in?"
"No,
"I put wallet back in pocket after I clean
uniform," said Hop Sing
indignantly. "It in laundry room until then. I not take anything out of it!"
"We know you didn't, Hop Sing. "We know that. This must have fallen out shortly after we
found it."
"I put handkerchief in pocket for him," Hop
Sing said. "He have no
handkerchiefs, so I put one of yours in, Mr. Cartwright."
"But Ben!" exclaimed Joanna. "
"I don't think the sheriff will find him,
Ma'am," said Joe.
"No," agreed Hoss. "I don't think so, either."
"We couldn't find him," said Adam. "There are no footprints, or hoof
prints, and no horse missing. He's
nowhere to be found, I'm afraid."
"But he must be around somewhere!" exclaimed
Joanna. "How far could he go, in
this cold? And-"
"Do you think he went home?" asked John.
"I think he must have," said
John looked wistfully at the piece of paper in his
mother's hand, which Ben now took back.
"I was hoping he'd come home with us. He fought bad people, too, just like
Papa. I thought he might stay
here."
"He doesn't belong here, with us," said
Paul. "His home and family are
someplace else."
"But he didn't say 'goodbye,'" said John.
Joe stooped down in front of the younger boy. "I guess he just came for a visit,
John. He probably had to leave real
suddenly, just like he came, most likely."
Joe glanced at Adam.
"He stayed long enough to show us what was
important." Adam looked out the
window as the early morning light began to filter through the darkness. He could see the barn, which reminded him of
the chores, but he knew this was one morning when the chores would have to
wait.
Ben Cartwright looked thoughtfully at his sons. "I think that soldier finally found his
way home," he said. Adam met his
gaze, and smiled.
"Yes, sir,"
said Hoss. "I'd say you're
right about that,
The End