Unusual
Gifts
Written by Lauren Rate
This is my first finished
fan-fic. I
hope you enjoy it!
“Ah,
“But, Hoss! It’s my birthday. Ya gotta sing!” Little Joe exclaimed.
“Alright, short shanks,” Hoss grumbled. Adam, the oldest of the Cartwright brothers, walked over to his blue chair beside the fireplace. He reached down beside it and picked up his guitar. When he had returned to the dinner table, he strummed a chord and sang happy birthday to his youngest brother. Ben and Hoss, although grudgingly on Hoss’ part, joined in the second chorus.
Little Joe laughed, “Beautiful. Well, it was until Pa’n Hoss joined in.”
Ben cuffed Joe lightly in the head. “Thank you so much, son. Hop Sing?” he called towards the kitchen.
The diminutive Hop Sing came into the dining rooms carrying a chocolate-iced cake. “Velly special cake foh velly special boy.”
“Man,” Joe grumbled. “Man.” Adam heard him and grinned. Joe was the youngest of Ben Cartwright’s three sons and so he had always been the baby of the family. He was turning eighteen. His brother Hoss was twenty-four and the eldest brother, Adam, was thirty.
“Wall, lookit that, Joe. Ol’ Hop Sing done and wrote yer name right there on the cake.” Hoss licked his lips hungrily.
“I like it, Hop Sing. Thanks. Can I eat it now, Pa?”
After they had eaten their cake they sat down in the living room; Adam in his blue chair, Ben in his leather chair closest to the dining table, and Hoss and Joe sharing the settee.
“Well, Little Joe, I think it’s time for your gifts,” Ben said. Joe smiled, getting excited.
“We were supposed to get gifts?” Adam looked up sheepishly. “Sorry, Joe. I didn’t get you anything. I thought you were too old for birthday presents. You did just turn 18 after all.”
Joe gave Adam a cheeky grin, “So does that mean I get to keep those new architectural books I got you for a present?” When Adam had gone to college several years back, he had taken architecture and engineering. Any literature of this sort was precious to him.
Adam’s eyes widened when he heard about the books and quickly retracted his statement. “I was only kidding, Joe. I’ve got your present right here,” he said, grabbing it from behind his chair. He handed it to his his younger brother and smiled, “Happy birthday, little brother.”
“Thanks, Adam,” he grinned as he tore the paper wrapping. Inside the box was a thick, neatly stacked pile of papers. Joe lifted a few out of the box and studied them carefully. “Your ranch plans? Really?” Joe adopted a confused look.
“Well, I’ve noticed how you’re always asking me about how the house was built and about our land. I thought you might be interested in those.”
“Yeah, thanks, Adam. But you’ll need t’explain what all your writing and drawings mean.”
“Of course I will, Little Joe.”
“Mine next, short shanks. I hope ya like it,” Hoss interrupted.
“You know I will, brother,” Joe grinned at him. He took the present from Hoss and opened it. It was a bulky rectangle of durable leather with the Ponderosa brand burned into the front. It had a clip which clasped the smallest ends of the rectangle together. When he unhooked it, he found small tools attached by leather loops inside. They were too small for regular uses around the ranch.
“Knowin’ you, Little Joe, I figgered you’d find some sneaky use fer ‘em. Jest don’t use ‘em against me.”
“I’ll try not to,” Joe laughed.
“Hop Sing have gift foh numbah three son.” He smiled to the youngest, and his favourite, boy. Joe smiled back and opened the unwieldy package. The paper had wrapped two boxes. Lifting the lid on the one box, he saw various packets of herbs. Each of them were labelled in both Chinese and English. Joe looked up at Hop Sing, who explained, “Velly good plants, some good, some bad. Use carefully. Open other box.”
Joe hastily opened the second box. Inside was a large assortment of Chinese fireworks. He flashed Hop Sing a mischievous smile. “I’m sure I’ll find a great use for them.” Hop Sing smiled, pleased that Joe liked his gift.
“I get from numbah two cousin in fireworks busahness.”
“Now, Little Joe, not inside the house or anywhere where someone could get hurt,” Ben cautioned. “Now, my gift.” He left his chair and strode over to his desk. From behind the desk he lifted a hefty, long box. He called to Hoss who helped to lift it over to the settee.
Joe looked up at his father questioningly, what could fit into this size of a box? “Go on, son,” Ben prompted. “Open it.” Joe tore open the paper and lifted the flap of the box.
Inside were four Indian spears, each from a different tribe. “This one is Paiute and this is Shoshone,” he said confidently. “This one is-” he looked at it closely and hefted it in his left hand. “Apache?”
Ben nodded, “And the last one is Ute.”
“Thanks,
“We’re glad you like them,” Adam replied. He yawned. “Now, if you will excuse me, I have a very long day tomorrow. Happy birthday, Little Joe.” He stood to go upstairs when his father motioned him back.
“I actually have one last gift for Joe,” Ben said. Joe glanced up, surprised. “Joseph, I am giving you the next five days off to camp, hunt, fish, or do whatever you like!”
The young man jumped to his feet, “Really, Pa? Great, I’ll be leaving first thing in the morning. I haven’t been hunting for ages.” With that, he bounded up the stairs and into his room and closed the door quickly behind him. His family downstairs could hear him as he packed and pulled his clothes from the drawers.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“How do you think he liked the gifts, Pa? He looked kind of... puzzled,” Adam said to his father at the breakfast table after Joe had left.
“I’ll admit he looked at bit confused considering how he was probably expecting the usual clothes and things for his horse. But I think he enjoyed them all the same. If you haven’t noticed, Adam, that boy tacked your drawings up in his room. They cover an entire wall. When I went in there this morning, I found him studying them. You should have seen the concentration on his face. And the pride,” he added.
Adam was startled. Covered an entire wall with his work? “Pride, Pa?”
“Oh, yes. Your little brother adores you, Adam. I think he realized your gift meant you recognized him as a mature young man.”
Adam smiled, thinking of his little brother. The young man who, just a few years back, had been a baby. An adorable hazel-eyed baby who had grown up into a man they could all be proud of. Ben roused Adam from his reverie.
“ Well, I have to get started on the books. Would you mind looking over a few of our timber contracts before you go to the pasture this afternoon?”
“Sure,
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Ben, Hoss, and Adam had been eating their supper together when they heard several horses ride into the yard. Most of the hands were working with the cattle and weren’t supposed to be back for a week. Ben rose and had barely opened the door when three men rushed in, six-guns cocked and shouting for the Cartwrights to sit down. They found Hop Sing in the kitchen and proceeded to tie the four men securely with thick rope.
“What do you want?” Ben growled angrily.
“We want forty thousand dollars, Cartwright,” one of them said.
Adam glared at them from his blue chair. “Do you seriously think we keep forty thousand dollars here in the house?” he scoffed.
“We wasn’t sure. But you ken always send a note to the bank and we ken git it.”
“Who are you?” Adam demanded, skirting their idea.
“It don’t matter none who we are, thar’s four of us. Th’other’s outside. An’ yer all tied up. Now, ‘bout that money. We’re gonna hev ta work sumpthin’ out, but right now we’s hungry. You, Chinaman, cook us up some suppah.”
Hop Sing was untied and led grumbling into the kitchen. He later emerged with coffee and sandwiches.
When the men had finished, the man, who appeared to be their leader, walked slowly up to Adam. Adam glared at him defiantly before a back-handed slap from nowhere cut his lip.
“Don’t you look at me like that. Remember, I’m boss now. Now, I want that money.”
Adam continued to glare stonily at him, to which he received another harsh slap. This continued until the man tired of his game. Adam sported a black eye and his lip was cut in two places.
“We’ll discuss this later, Cartwright. Smith, you watch ‘em. I’m gonna grab some shut-eye.” He motioned to the two other armed men at the front door. You keep watch outside, switching fer each other ev’ry two hours.”
Hop Sing had been retied and the four tried to ignore their uncomfortable upright positions and get some sleep. All of them were relieved that Joe had left on his trip and these men would be gone, hopefully, by the time he got home.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Joe was a six hour’s ride away from the ranch house. The previous day he had caught several rabbits in the snares, enough for a few meals. He had seen a few deer as well, but they were all does. Most of them had either small fawns or appeared to be expecting.
He had woken up on his second day refreshed and calm. It was lunchtime when he realized he had forgotten his fishing gear and his lariat. He had left it all in the barn while he had saddled Cochise, his pinto horse.
He grumbled as he packed up his camp. If he left now, he could pick up his gear and make camp at a creek closer to home. Then he could bring some trout home for Hop Sing and leave for this site again the next day. His stomach growled at the thought of the fresh trout even though he had just eaten his lunch. He mounted Cochise and began to whistle as he rode back to the Ponderosa house.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Jest remember, Pa, Little Joe ain’t gonna be home fer another three days,” Hoss said quietly. “Mebbe we can git rid o’ these fellers by the time he gets home or the hands git back.”
Ben shook his head wearily. “I suppose the only thing we can do is pay them the money.”
“Wait,
Ben fell back with a sigh and wondered what Adam’s plan was. Adam’s lip and cheek were swollen from the slaps and punches from yesterday. He could only wonder who they’d turn on next.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Joe was 15 minutes from home when he heard something in the bushes. Nudging Cochise into the forest on the side he soon found four horses tethered to a tree. Buckets of water and oats had been set out for them.
Why these horses were there, fifteen minutes away from their barn, he didn’t know. He did not recognize them as Ponderosa horses and the hands always stabled their mounts. Becoming very wary, he stayed off the road and dismounted. He tethered Cooch a few hundred feet from the other horses and out of sight and walked quietly through the trees to the house.
From the edge of the yard he could see two men holding rifles. Joe’s blood went cold. Those men weren’t Ponderosa ranch hands. He had never seen them before. Where was Pa? What about Hoss and Adam?
He took a moment to calm down and take note of the situation. He figured there must be four men because of the horses he’d found. He knew there were plenty of guns, ammunition, and food in the house. If he brought the sheriff out they could be in a shootout for days and people could get hurt. Joe quickly decided he must help them himself.
He retreated back to where he’d left Cochise and began formulating a plan.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Listen, Cartwright, we want that money.” Jenkins had rotated from beating on each of the three men all day. Now they sported bruises on their faces.
“Well, the bank account doesn’t have forty thousand dollars. You’ll have to wait until Friday when the payroll money comes in,” Adam told him coolly.
“That’s three days from now. We want it now!
“Well we don’t have it,” Ben shouted. He wanted them to leave before anyone else got pulled into this.
“Maybe you’ll have a new answer tomorrow. You, Chinaman, it’s getting late, we want our suppah.”
Ben and his sons exchanged looks. They had bought one more day, but for what? Would it do them any good?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Joe waited until it was dark before he moved to the side of the house with the trees as cover. When he was sure he was completely out of sight, he felt slowly up the walls until he felt some familiar handholds. He grinned. Those late-night trips into town were paying off.
He had taken his boots off so that he could walk on the roof a bit more quietly. When he reached the roof, he walked slowly over to his bedroom window. He had left the curtains open and could now see that his door was closed. He lifted the window, praying that he hadn’t latched it.
He hadn’t.
He climbed carefully through the window with practised ease, but when he stepped on the floor, a board creaked loudly. He froze.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Downstairs, everyone had been asleep except for one guard and two outside. Adam had woken up when the grandfather clock had chimed twelve. He looked around for a minute before he heard the small creaking noise of a floorboard.
He sucked in his breath, hoping, but when there were no other noises, he allowed himself to fall back to sleep.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
When he was sure no one had heard, he treaded over to his dresser. There he grabbed a pair of moccasins and deerskin clothes his friend Saratuchi had made for him. He also took the tools Hoss had gotten him and the fireworks and herbs from Hop Sing. He glanced around the room and saw Adam’s Ponderosa plans on his wall. He silently took them down and added them to his pile on the bed. He took a bow and his quiver full of arrows. He smirked at how his decorations were going to help him. Now he grabbed the four Indian spears his father had given him. They were not that heavy, but they were bulky and awkward. He decided to take only the Paiute weapon. He wrapped everything in a sheet from his bed and manoeuvred it soundlessly through the window. He set the bundle down and climber out after it.
He had knotted the four corners of the sheet together and then tied another sheet’s corner to that knot. He could now climb slowly to the roof edge and lower his package to the ground rather than dropping it.
He made it to the ground, put his boots back on and retreated into the darkness.
Joe sat in the woods digging into the sheet. He knew he could not take on four armed men and win, so he decided that he would whittle away at them bit by bit. He changed his ranch clothes for the moccasins and deerskin pants and shirt. He took off his hat and replaced it with a beaded head band. He looked down at himself for a minute before he grabbed a comb from his jacket pocket.
This was one of the few times that needing a haircut worked to his advantage. He removed the head band and wet his hair with water from his canteen and combed his hair flat with a part down the middle. His hair was too short to braid like some Paiute braves wore their hair, so he left it straight. He replaced the head band again. Now, if anyone saw him, they could easily mistake him as a Paiute. He rubbed a bit of soil on his face and hands to darken his complexion.
Next, he took the herb packets that Hop Sing had given him. He chose them carefully. When he was satisfied with what he had, he took a piece of paper and a pencil and wrote a quick note to Hop Sing.
He stuffed everything into a small pouch tied around his hip and crept towards the house. He went behind the dining room and looked through the window. In the living room he could see his entire family being guarded by one man. A second man was asleep on the stairs.
Adam was the only one whose chair was facing the window. Joe wanted to get his attention but he didn’t want to risk alerting their guard. He crouched below the window and headed for the door of the kitchen. He looked around the corner to the front porch and saw that the two men were thoroughly distracted with their poker hands and whiskey bottles.
Joe crept around the corner into the shadows. He reached for the kitchen door handle and turned it quietly. He slid inside and left the door slightly ajar. Little Joe surveyed the kitchen. Hop Sing had a pot of soup on the stove to be heated and a pile of sandwiches on a large plate.
Joe headed for the soup first. He took out a small packet and poured half of it into the pot. He stirred it gently and then moved on to the sandwiches. He took off the top few slices and sprinkled another powder onto each. He replaced the bread and removed a small bottle from his pouch. He used a small brush he had found in a drawer to spread the viscous substance on the handles of the soup pot and sandwich platter.
He smiled at his handy work and finally removed the note he had written from the pouch. He opened it and placed it in plain view on top of the sandwiches.
Joe retreated stealthily from the kitchen and returned to the forest.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Adam had changed his gaze from the floor to the dining room. He caught a glimpse of movement, a dark head with a Paiute head band. Paiute? They didn’t often stray onto Ponderosa land, and definitely not so close to the main house. He shrugged it off, there wasn’t anything he could do about it now in his current predicament.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hop Sing was awake at dawn and was allowed to go feed his chickens. When he came back into the kitchen he immediately noticed the note perched on the sandwiches. He snatched it up and looked at it carefully. It was written in Chinese!
Suddenly, the man who had been watching Hop Sing demanded, “What’s that, little man? Give it here!”
But Hop Sing held onto it. “It recipe! In Chinese! You no read Chinese!”
The man growled as he watched the cook read the “recipe” in his hand:
Hop Sing,
Do not let Pa, Adam, Hoss or yourself eat this food. It is important that you don’t. Trust me, I put your birthday present to good use. Do not touch the tray or pot either. Make the guard carry it. The coffee is safe for you to drink.
Don’t worry. I will get you out of all this.
It was signed in the familiar slanted scrawl, Little Joe.
Hop Sing looked at the food and smiled slightly. “Numbah three son velly smaht,” he thought to himself. He turned to the guard. “You carry soup and sandwiches. I carry coffee. You hurry or food no good to eat.”
The guard slung his rifle over his shoulder and lifted the soup. The handles were a bit sticky, but he ignored it.
Hop Sing told him to put the soup on the table and bring the sandwiches out. He brought cups over to the Cartwrights and whispered to Ben, “You no eat food unless Hop Sing bling.”
Ben looked up confused. He was about to ask about it but Hop Sing straightened and was now whispering the same message to Adam and Hoss as he poured their coffee. The men, Smith and the leader, Jenkins, were too busy eating to notice the exchange. Adam and Hoss exchanged looks. What was going on? They could drink coffee but hey couldn’t eat any food? What was Hop Sing getting at? But when Hop Sing went back into the kitchen and returned with food for the Cartwrights, Jenkins immediately ordered him to stop.
“No food fer them, Chinaman. They only get coffee until they decide to give me that money.”
Before they could think of anything Jenkins had turned and was now demanding that Ben tell him when he would get his money.
“We’ve already told you, Jenkins. Friday. We don’t have forty thousand dollars right now. If you want it you’ll have to wait.”
Jenkins prowled around the room, trying to find another solution. Finding none, he turned again to the Cartwrights. “Alright, we’ll wait ‘til Friday, but if this is a trick we’ll kill ya. Ahm serious.” From the look in his eyes they could tell he wasn’t joking. “Smith, take over fer Red and Jake. Tell ‘em to come in an’ get sumpthin’ ta eat.”
“Right,” Smith said as he left out the front door.
A minute later the two men trudged in and grab some food. Smith sat down outside and rubbed his hands over his face and eyes. Boy, was he tired. Why couldn’t they just get the money and leave? He didn’t like sticking around any longer than necessary.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Joe had stayed close to the open dining room window, out of sight, waiting for a sign that his plans had worked so far. Hearing nothing, he crept towards the front of the house. He could only see one man sitting on the porch. The man was leaning back in his chair, dozing. He grinned. The man’s face and hands were swollen and turning red. He would scratch absently at his cheeks and hands every couple of minutes.
Joe turned around and scrambled to the back of the house. He was barely back in the cover when one of the guards came tearing out of the house and ran into the outhouse. Joe nearly laughed out loud when he saw a second man run out after him and start pounding on the outhouse door. “Git atta thar, Jake!”
Joe could hear groans coming from the outhouse. Staying in the cover of the trees, he withdrew to his hideout. He started making more plans for later that night.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Adam could barely keep from laughing when he saw the two men tear out of the house headed for the privy. What was the matter with them? He looked at Hop Sing, who smiled mysteriously and headed back to the kitchen. The food! Of course, why else had he not let them eat it themselves? Hop Sing, you are brilliant!
He glanced around the room and grinned as he watched Jenkins clutching his stomach. “Smith!” he shouted. “Git in here!”
“ What? Whassa matter?” Smith asked. He looked at Jenkins, “What’s wrong?” All Jenkins could do was stare at the man.
“What happened to your face?” A wave of nausea hit him suddenly. “Watch them!” he yelled as he ran out into the front yard and lost his lunch behind the water trough. Smith stared after Jenkins and then he remembered, “What’s the matter with my face? Where’s a mirror?”
“Upstairs in the hall,” Ben managed to choke out. Smith ran up the stairs and they heard him yell as he saw his face. It was entirely red and swollen with streaks when he had scratched it. His hands were dry and cracking. He ran back down the stairs. “How’d it happen?” he cried. “What’d you do?”
“Us? We didn’t do nothin’” Hoss told him. “We’ve bin tied here fer two days. ‘Sides, I don’ even know what would do that to a fella’s face. Probably won’ kill ya, but it might stay like that.”
The blood drained from his face, but it still didn’t remove any of the red. Jenkins returned now wiping his face and grumbling. “What’d that cook o’ yers do? We’re all sick.”
“Hop Sing didn’t do nothin’, mister,” Hoss growled. “Who says ya weren’t sick afore ya got here but now’s the only time it’s shown?”
Jenkins snarled and stomped out of the house to find Jake and Red.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Joe sat studying Adam’s plans in the fading light. He found several small passages stemming from the back stairs. He traced the passages with his finger to where they exited the house. He nearly laughed out loud. No wonder Adam rarely got caught when he went to town late.
Little Joe took the blueprints and rolled them up. He stuffed them into his pouch along with the tools Hoss had given him. He waited at the edge of the trees for darkness to fall when he could get to the house without being seen.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Ben, Hoss, and Adam were all getting tired. This was their third day being held captive and no one had found them yet. They hoped that Little Joe wouldn’t stumble in and get caught in the same situation.
The illness which the captors had suffered from was fading and they were making fewer stops to the outhouse. Smith’s face was still tomato-red but it was less swollen. They had increased their watch Hop Sing, thinking he had been the cause of the illness.
Ben had fallen asleep at
Three of the men were now staying inside with only one outside to guard for riders. Out of nowhere, a door upstairs slammed. Jenkins, Red, and Jake all jerked to their feet.
“You two,” Jenkins ordered. “Upstairs. Find out what did that.”
A few minutes later they came back down the stairs defeated. “Nothin’, boss.”
“Prob’ly jest the wind.”
They barely had a chance to calm down when they heard one door slam and then another. The two guards tore up the stairs. After ten minutes of banging around, they came back down again.
Jake came down the stairs angrily. “What’s goin’ on? All them doors was open.”
“Maybe it was the windows,” Red suggested. “They was all closed.”
“Nah, they was all latched up-“
Jake was cut off by the sounds of several doors slamming and opening. They grumbled as they ran up the stairs yet again. They stayed in the hallway longer, hoping to see what was causing the noises. Seeing and hearing nothing they finally tramped yet again down the stairs.
“Ah cain’t b’lieve it. Gotta be ghosts!” Red cried. “Ev’ry door up thar is closed and locked from the inside!”
“Maybe it was the Ponderosa Ghost,” Adam suggested in all seriousness.
“G-ghost?” Red stammered.
“Ah, Red, yer such a baby. Thar’s no such thang as ghosts,” Jake informed him.
“Well,” Adam continued, giving Hoss a subtle wink. “You see, our ghost is sort of a... rabble-rouser, I guess you would say. You know, a troublemaker. From what you can see, after all, he is a ghost, he’s got wild, curly brown hair, evil looking green eyes, about 5’10”, I guess. He’s always playing tricks. Scares the wits outta me all the time.”
Hoss grinned to himself and thought, “I bet I know his name too.”
Hoss joined in the discussion, “He can be mighty dangerous too. Why, he’s nailed my door shut on me an’ he’s pushed me into the water trough. Nearly drowned that time!”
“No telling what he’ll do. He’s caused explosions and fires. You wouldn’t believe the damages!” Adam was now thoroughly enjoying himself. “He’ll scare you to death while you sleep. He’s horrible to newcomers. Any woman who stays here either dies under mysterious circumstances or leaves and never comes back. Have you noticed that, Hoss?”
Hoss nodded vigorously . “We ain’t had a lady in this house, permanent’like, since our mama died more’n thirteen years ago.”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Joe had been hiding in a small room Adam had built under the stairs. He pulled back one of the wooden panels and listened. His sides ached with silent laughter as he heard his brother’s exxagerated tales of his antics. He sure hoped his Pa was asleep, or else after this was over he’d be restricted to the ranch for weeks. He’d never told his Pa about nailing Hoss in his room or lighting a few small piles of gunpowder in Adam’s room. It shouldn’t be so bad, Joe thought to himself, that fire hadn’t been too big. He moved the panel back further so he could see the reactions of the captors.
Noticing the fear, he decided it was time to join the conversation before he left for the night.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The brothers added tales of horror, embellishing real stories where Joe had been the instigator. Suddenly, they heard a giggle which came from nowhere in particular. The giggle grew quickly into a side-splitting laugh.
“Here he is,” Adam told them. Red and the men looked terrified.
“You’ve got me, Adam. Right down to the last detail. Hoss, which rooms are they sleeping in? I just found this big ol’ nest o’ fire ants and-”
Finally Red could take it no more and he ran out of the house, casting horrified glances all around.
Adam and Hoss shared a quick grin before they settled back into an uncomfortable sleep.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Joe had caught a couple of rabbits and had eaten them for supper. He had moved further from the house and built a small, smokeless fire so that he was not given away.
He saved his last rabbit and drained some of the blood into a tin cup he had. He headed back to where he had Cochise tethered. He grimaced as he poured some of the blood on his saddle.
“Sorry, Cooch,” he said as he poured some blood on his right hand and made a smeared handprint on his pinto’s neck. He untethered he and led her to the side of the road leading to the Ponderosa ranch house.
He waited until well after sun-up before he turned her towards the house and pulled her reins down so that they were trailing on the ground. He gave her a light hit on her flank. He stood watching her trot away for a minute before he went through the woods and back to the house.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Thar’s a horse comin’, Jenks,” Smith called from outside on the porch.
“watch ‘em, Jake. Red, you come with me.” They walked outside and looked at the horse. “Looks like the fella who owns this horse won’t be ridin’ agin. Get all them Cartwrights out here.” Red went inside and came out with Jake and the Cartwrights, who had their hands still tied.
Ben walked slowly ahead of Hoss and Adam. He looked up at the other men and his face became drawn with apprehension when he saw the painted horse was riderless.
“Joe?” He stumbled over to Cochise and touched the blood on the saddle and trailed his hand down to the bloody handprint which stood out boldly on a patch of white on the horse’s neck. He collapsed to his knees.
“Joe. My little Joseph.”
Adam and Hoss reached out and lifted him to his feet.
“Pa, let’s git you inside,” Hoss said.
They helped him to walk inside. His sons sat Ben down in his chair. Casting a cautious glance at the door, Adam whispered, “Pa, we’re sure he’s alright. Hoss and I heard him last night in the house. And I’m sure he was the one who sabotaged their food.”
Ben looked up at them hopefully but before he could ask any questions Jenkins and Jake walked in.
“Alright you two,” Jenkins motioned to Hoss and Adam with his rifle, “over ta yer chairs. I got a couple ah questions t’ask ya. First of all, whose horse was that?
“It’s my little brother’s horse,” Hoss answered.
“So where is he?”
“How should we know?” Hoss demanded angrily. “He was supposed ta be huntin’ cougar up past the north pasture. He wasn’t supposed ta be back fer another week at least.”
“Well, by the looks o’ his horse, I’d say he ain’t ever comin’ back,” he laughed.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Joe had watched from the bushes as the men looked over his horse. When his father and brothers were called out of the house he nearly gasped out loud. They were all paler and looked haggard, but his pa was the one who worried him most. He walked slowly and dragged his feet. He looked very sick. Joe nearly ran out to him when he saw his pa collapse after seeing Cochise. Instead, he ran quietly to the dining room window.
He pulled out his leather tool kit and extracted a long, thin piece of metal. He slid it between the window and the frame and lifted it up, unlocking the latch.
He climbed through the window. He treaded carefully in his moccasins and went to Adam’s chair. Adam’s guitar was beside the chair in plain view only to the person sitting there. He wrote a quick line on a scrap of paper and stuck it between the strings and ran upstairs. He stopped at the top and moved around the corner.
Little Joe listened as Adam told Ben that they knew he was alive. It took all of his strength to keep from running down the stairs and showing them he was definitely alive, but Jenkins and Jake walked in. He moved away from the stairs and into his father’s rooms.
Joe padded over to the right wall, where Ben had an Indian headdress hung up. He grabbed it and climbed swiftly out the window and down the roof, a new plan hatching in his mind.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hoss and Adam managed to calm their father into a light sleep. But he awoke with a start when he heard a window break. Ben looked up sharply and saw a Paiute arrow embedded in the dining room table. It had come through the dining room window. The Cartwrights immediately ducked in front of their chairs.
“What the-” Jenkins started before another arrow came crashing through the window behind Ben’s desk. Red and Smith tore into the house.
“Paiutes. Gotta be all round the house. Cain’t see any of ‘em though,” Smith gasped.
War whoops filled the air. Suddenly, they stopped. The men heard a thud as something hit the door.
“Open it,” Jenkins ordered. Smith moved forward hesitantly. He stood behind the door as he opened it. Rooted in the door was a large Paiute spear. A voice came from the yard, “Chief of house. We parley.”
“You’d best talk with them,” Adam advised wearily. Hoss and Ben nodded. None of them had noticed the initials JFC carved into the handle of the pole. They had seen too many Indian weapons before.
“Alright,” he called out the door, “but you come in here.”
In a moment a man with a darkish complexion, dark hair curling on his forehead, and wearing deerskin pants, shirt, and moccasins and a feathered headdress walked confidently in.
“Who is chief here?” he demanded in a deep voice. Jenkins looked back at the Cartwrights, looking uncertain of himself.
Ben had been staring at the floor, but he now looked up gradually. He turned towards the chief, not comprehending the situation. Hoss and Adam were also staring at the Indian.
“Who is he?” asked Jenkins.
The brothers just stared with shocked expressions.
“I am Chief Winnemuca’s son, Lone Spear. We wish you to leave now. We want the Cartwrights. You do not leave, you will die. You have until sundown.” He turned and left into the yard. Smith ran and pulled the spear out of the door and then closed it.
“We don’ know nothin’ ‘bout them Paiutes. Why don’ we leave ‘fore they kill us too?” Red whined.
Smith tossed the spear to Adam. “Whad’ya know about ‘em?”
Adam turned the spear over in his hands and noticed the initials in the handle. He thought quickly. “That man is very determined. If he has a grudge against us he won’t care if he has to kill you too to get to us. Anyways, he’s probably got all of the braves in his tribe out there. If you don’t leave now when you have the chance...” He shrugged.
“We still ain’t got our money,” Jenkins said angrily.
“Well, I think I’d rather be alive. Dead men don’t need forty thousand dollars,” Hoss pointed out.
Jenkins strode to the door and yanked it open. “No deal,” he yelled into the yard. He slammed the door harshly.
A minute later they heard the short reply: “Then none of you shall leave this house alive. You shall feel the spite of the great Manitou!”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The whoops and yells continued for several hours and the men in the house grew increasingly nervous. The Cartwright men looked resigned. They knew Joe was behind this, but how many braves were out there? And who was that chief? Every few minutes Red would look out the windows, trying to see whoever was outside.
Smith and Jake were trying to plead with Jenkins to reconsider his decision. Each time they were given an icy glare.
Finally, after dark, several windows in the house shattered. “We have told you what would happen if you did not leave,” said Lone Spear. “Now you will pay the consequences.” Then, in rapid succession, half a dozen arrows were shot through one of the windows. One missed Red by inches.
After the arrows, something else was thrown through the windows. Just as Smith picked one up, it exploded in his hand. He shrieked as he dropped the firecracker. He hand was burnt red.
The other firecrackers which had been thrown in shot coloured sparks around the room. Hoss and Adam had pulled Ben closer to the floor out of the way. They looked over the back of the settee gleefully, forgetting the Indians as they watched Jenkins and Red running back and forth. They were trying futilely to duck out of the way of the sparks. Jake had moved over in front of the fireplace and was surveying the scene with wide eyes.
He had thought he was out of harm’s way when he heard a loud “bang” and felt his pants growing hot. He looked over his shoulder. His britches were on fire! He tore out of the house and dove into the horse trough. The water steamed as the flames went out.
“Let’s git out here,” Red screamed as he ran out after Jake. Smith followed. Jenkins gave the Cartwrights a final glare and seemed about to say something before he ran out down road after the others.
Adam waited a few minutes before he stood up and hurried into the kitchen where Hop Sing had been left, still tied. He took a knife from the drawer and carefully Hop Sing’s bonds. Hop Sing then took the knife and cut Adam’s ropes. They walked into the great room and freed Hoss and Ben.
Hop Sing brought Ben a glass of water and a cool cloth. After they had made sure he was alright, Hoss and Adam sat down. Hoss hefted the Paiute spear, “Sounded like there were fifty braves out there. I wonder how many there were?”
Before he could continue, he heard footsteps upstairs. He looked up to the top of the stairs. Adam saw him and followed his gaze.
At the second floor landing stood the Indian chief in his Indian clothes and headdress. “Actually, Hoss, it was only me.”
The two brothers couldn’t help but stare. Ben had heard his boys talking. He glanced up to where the third voice was coming from and blinked. “What are you-”
Joe pulled off the headdress and ran a hand through his hair so that some of the curl came back. “You alright, Pa?”
“Joe?” he asked uncertainly. “Is that you?”
“Course it is,
“My Joseph.” Ben stood up and walked unsteadily to the stairs. Joe bounded down the steps quickly. “My little Joseph. Are you alright?” he asked, pulling Joe into a tight hug.
“Of course I am,
“I saw Cochise. All that blood...” He clutched Joe’s hand. “Where was it from? Are you hurt?”
“Pa, I’m fine.” He turned to his brothers, who were standing off to the side, “Did they hurt you?”
They shook their heads. “Boy, are we glad you’re back,” Hoss said. Unable to restrain himself, he grabbed his brother and pulled him into a bear hug.
Joe tapped his shoulder. “Uh, Hoss?” he gasped. “Watch the ribs.”
Hoss let him go and turned him to Adam. Little Joe and Adam shook hands but Joe forgot about that and hugged his brother. “Are you sure you’re alright?” Adam asked carefully.
“Are you kidding? ‘You’d have to kill me to hurt me’. Your exact words from a little bit back if I recall correctly.”
Adam laughed. “Now tell us everything.”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
After they had eaten some sandwiches and made sure that Ben’s colour was coming back, Joe began to explain.
“Well, I got up there Monday. Which was when you said those fellas barged in here. Tuesday I realized I’d left some of my gear here, so I decided to come back. It was late afternoon when I was nearly home and found their horses off the trail. I figured something was wrong. I realized I couldn’t get help without someone getting hurt. I made my decision. After dark, I climbed up to my room and grabbed some stuff.”
“So it was you I heard. I didn’t realize,” Adam said.
“As long as they didn’t realize,” Joe grinned. “When I got back to my camp, I changed into these duds and went into the kitchen.” He winked at Hop Sing, “I kind of had a bit of fun with their dinner .”
“What did ya do ta them, short shanks? You shoulda seen their faces,” Hoss exclaimed.
“Well, I put some clivia in the soup and just a bit of castor bean powder in the sandwiches. Then I spread some euphorbia and chrysanthemum on the handle of the dishes.” He giggled. “I knew it would work.”
“What’s all that stuff, Joe? Eu- euph... That word,” Hoss asked.
“ You-four-bee-ah, Hoss. It’s a toxic sap. Chrysanthemum is the flower. They both make your skin get red and swollen and itchy. The clivia makes you nauseous and gives you... ahem... Well, it makes you need to go to the outhouse very badly.” They all laughed as they remembered the stricken looks on Jake and Red’s faces.
“Numbah three son velly smaht,” Hop Sing repeated to himself.
“What did ya do after that, Little Joe?” Hoss asked eagerly.
“I climbed back up onto the roof and got in through my bedroom window. I used Adam’s designs to find a little room built behind the wall in the upstairs hallway. I slammed Adam’s door and hid in the little room. I heard two men come upstairs. When they left, I came out and slammed two more doors but then I opened them again before I hid. Next, I closed most of the doors quietly and used a pair of small pliers you gave me, Hoss, to lock the doors from the inside. I just stuck them in the key hole and turned the key on the inside.”
“I knew he’d find a use fer ‘em,” Hoss said to himself.
“I slammed the other doors and locked them. I hid until they were gone and then used a passageway I found in my hiding spot that led down underneath the main stairs. I pulled back one of the wood panels and listened in.”
Ben decided to interrupt, “How did you think of all this?”
“I don’t know. I just knew I had to do something before they gave up on your stalling attempt.”
“How did you...?” Adam mumbled.
“I really liked those ‘ghost’ stories you told them,” Joe cackled.
“They weren’t that far from the truth, you know, Joe,” Adam told him. “You wouldn’t believe how petrified they were when they actually heard you talking about those fire ants.”
Joe laughed again, “ Well, I figured if they didn’t leave after that, I’d have to use something bigger. When Cochise came into the yard, I climbed through the dining room window and went up to Pa’s room. I borrowed your headdress, Pa, I hope you don’t mind. I shot some arrows through the windows and threw my spear into the door. I came in and told them to leave. When they didn’t I launched some firecrackers into the house. While they were distracted with that, I climbed onto the roof and dropped a couple down the chimney. I really didn’t think it would light his pants on fire...”
“It was brilliant, little brother. Brilliant!” Adam exclaimed.
“I’m glad I left you that note. It gave you some warning at least,” he told him.
“Note? I never saw a note,” Adam said, confused.
“It’s on your guitar.”
Adam reached over and pulled the small slip of paper from the strings. “‘Get down.’”
“Well, I didn’t have much time, alright?” he said defensively. “Anyways, I climbed down through my window and that’s how I got to the top of the stairs.”
Ben looked at his youngest son in awe. “Joseph, I can’t believe you did all that. I am very proud of you, son. But-” he continued. “What’s all this about secret passages in my house?”
Joe looked at Adam, whose face had paled. “Well, Pa,” Joe jumped in. “Adam had it built in case of emergencies. If there was a fire or something and we couldn’t get out, we’d have an alternate route.”
“That only Adam knew about?”
“Well... You see, Pa, he was so busy when he designed and helped to build it and so much was happening after, he just sort of... forgot?”
Ben did not look convinced. He knew Joe was trying to save his older brother from a very serious conversation. He sighed. He knew his boys wouldn’t be telling him anything else. “Boy, I’m going to bed. You’d better head up soon as well.”
“We will, Pa,” they said in unison.
“Too bad those bunglers had to get away,” Adam mentioned, rubbing his jaw. He still had a black eye, but it was beginning to fade from black to a dark purple. His cheeks and chin were littered with bruises of various colours. “I’d like to tell them a thing or two,” he grumbled.
Joe began to giggle and soon escalated until he was doubled up, his sides aching. Ben, who had made it to the top of the stairs, turned around. “What is so funny, Joseph?”
“Yeah, older brother?” he began when the laughing had subsided somewhat. “You know that just might be possible.”
“What’re you talkin’ ‘bout, Joe? You know they left more’n an hour ago. They ain’t comin’ back after all you done to ‘em. They must think we’re runnin’ over with Paiutes and ghosts.”
Hoss’ comment only caused Joe’s cackles to set off once again.
“Joseph, would you please enlighten us?” Ben asked impatiently.
“You know that new glue stuff you bought in
“Yer amazin’, Little Joe. But they can still ride their horses outta here. Jest cause they can’t get off don’t mean they can’t jest ride them horses slower.”
“Oh, I thought about that, Hoss. I cut their girth and cinch straps. I left them thick enough for them to mount but after that... I’m afraid their going to take a rather nasty spill. I cut their bridles too. They’re gonna topple pretty quickly trying to control their mounts.”
“Well, let’s get some lanterns and find them!” Adam exclaimed, “before they walk right off the Ponderosa.”
Joe gave Adam a cautious glance, “Are you sure they didn’t hit your head into the wall or anything, Adam?”
“Yes, why?”
“I ruined their saddles and put glue on the seat. There’s no way they can even get their trousers off. They’re gonna have a hard time walking of our land with a saddle glued to their legs.”
Adam realized his mistake and clapped his brother on the back, “I don’t know how you thought off all that, Joe, but I must say you really know how to celebrate a birthday.”
“That’s enough, boys,” Ben cut in. “Off to bed. Remember, we’ve got to catch up to those men in the morning.”
Adam stretched, “It’ll be nice to get back in my own bed. Those chairs aren’t very comfortable to sleep on.”
“Chairs? At least they’re cushioned. Besides, they’re right beside the fire. I couldn’t build one big enough to keep me warm or else they’d have found me. And if they had-”
“Joseph, that’s enough for tonight. Good night, son.”
“Yeah, Pa,” he mumbled as he trudged up the stairs behind Ben and his brothers.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Later that night, when everyone was asleep, Ben walked slowly to Joe’s room. Opening the door carefully, he looked at his son sleeping peacefully under the covers. He looked at him in amazement. His youngest son had managed to save them all using only a few birthday gifts and his intelligence. He gazed down at his boy for another minute before he closed the door.
He shook his head, “My little Joseph.”
The End
September 2002