" BIG TROUBLE N MISCHIEF "

By: Lynne G.

" Well here I am havin' ta stay in my room, cuz I'm in trouble AGAIN !  I dun't mean ta get into trouble, but I just can't help it.  Ya know what, I think someone put a spell on me that makes trouble and mischief find me.  Yah, that's it, it's a spell !"

" Pa told me that everyday this week after I finish my chores, I have ta stay in my room.  THAT AIN'T FAIR !!!"

" I s'pose I should explain what's been happenin' around here lately.  So here goes.  As you know, I'm gonna be seven years old in a few months which makes me a BIG BOY and not no little boy no more.  Now being a BIG BOY, I can do BIG BOY things like my two big brothers, but try tellin' that to Pa."

" About three weeks ago Pa, Adam and Hoss and two or three of the hands went out to round up some cattle ta take em to another grazing area.  I wanted ta go ta help too, but Pa said, "NO" cuz I was too young and too little.  I know I can help do that, so after they all left, I followed em."

" Once I had found em all I just sorta joined in and I was havin' a good time till I heard, " JOSEPH-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"  Uh oh, guess who saw me?  Yup, it was Pa and HE was really MAD at me.  HE yelled at me a whole lot and HE told me I was a very BAD little boy.  I'm a BIG BOY, Pa. Would you believe that Pa made me go back home?  Well He sure did, and HE came with me.  HE yelled at me all the way home, and we had ta have a " little discussion" in my room then.  I had ta sleep on my tummy that night, and I didn't sleep so good, cuz everytime I tried ta lay on my side or roll over, my butt hurt.  Geez !!"

" The next week everything went good and no trouble or mischief found me, but dadburn it all anyway, that next week-last week wouldn't ya know, that darn old trouble and mischief found me.  DADBURN IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

" Adam and Hoss were busy on the ranch away from home, and Pa was really busy doin' all kinds of paper work.  He kept on mumbling about not bein' able ta go ta Virginia City ta mail a bunch of stuff, or even ta pick up our mail."

" Pa had just finished up the last of his paper work, and he had a BIG pile of stuff that needed ta be taken ta the mail office in town.  I think he was planning on goin' ta mail all that stuff the next day or maybe even that afternoon.  Anyway, Max came ridin' inta the yard and he needed ta see Pa bout somethin'.  I was busy doin' chores when Pa and and Max came out of the house, and Pa went ta saddle Buck.  When he came out of the barn he told me he would be back late that afternoon, and he also told me ta finish my chores and ta stay out of mischief.  I told him I'd be a good boy, and he and Max rode away.  Can you imagine ME in trouble?  Nah !"

"After I finished my chores, I went ta get some cookies and a glass of milk.  After I finished my snack, I noticed that big pile of stuff that needed ta go ta the mail office.  Hmmm, then I had this here idea, that hey, I could take that stuff ta town and mail it all fer Pa, and I could also get all our mail too..  What a GREAT idea !!"

" I know Pa won't let me go ta Virginia City by myself, cuz he says I'm too young and too little ta go, but if'n I can ride all the way ta school by myself, which just happens ta be just off the main street in town, well, I can sure go ta the mail office too.  So I did."

" I put all the stuff that needed mailin' inta my saddle bags, saddled Ginger and off I went.  Ya see, we BIG BOYS can do these things by our selves."

" I mailed all that stuff for Pa, then I got all of our mail.  There was a package fer Adam, which was most likely that new BORING book he ordered.  Can't figure out what he sees in that Shake--what's his name's books.  Miss Jones loves his books too.  It's just too BORING !!!!!!!!!"

" I just happened ta have some of my money with me, lucky me, but I didn't buy nuffin' fer me, but I did buy the latest copy of THE TERRITORIAL TIMES fer Pa.  He sure loves ta read that newspaper.  Anyway, I put all our mail, the package and Pa's newspaper in my saddle bags and headed fer home."

" When I got inta the barn, wouldn't ya know, Buck was in his stall.  OH GREAT, why did Pa have ta get home so early?  DADBURN THAT OLD TROUBLE N MISCHIEF !!  It looks like IT has got me AGAIN !!  So I unsaddled Ginger, rubbed her down and fed and watered her.  I picked up my saddle bags and SLOWLY walked towards the house."

" As soon as I opened the door, and laid my saddle bags down, there HE stood with HIS hands on HIS hips, and boy was HE ever MAD at me.  HE yelled, "JUST WHERE WERE YOU LITTLE BOY?" Uh oh, there's THAT " little boy" thing AGAIN !" 

" HE was so Mad at me, that I swear I saw smoke comin' out of his ears.  No foolin', I saw smoke and THAT ain't good at all.  I tried ta tell HIM what I had done, but HE wouldn't let me say nuffin'.  HE just yelled LOUD !!!!  Then we had ta have a trip ta my room fer a 'little discussion'.  My poor little bottom has had way too much action lately.  It's gonna be all worn out before I get ta be a man.  Just like usual, I didn't sleep too good that night, cuz somethin' was hurtin'."

" DADBURN IT ALL ANYWAY !!!!!!!  Why did THAT STUPID OLD TROUBLE N MISCHIEF HAVE TA  ATTACK ME AGAIN THIS WEEK?"  IT JUST AIN'T ONE BIT FAIR AT ALL?  WHY ME ?"

" I decided ta let Pa know, that since I'm a BIG BOY, that I should have a bigger horse, and not no pony.  HE told me that I'm a little boy, and that a pony is what I will be riding yet.  HUH, I don't think so.  Can't ya just see Hoss on a pony?  He's a BIG BOY, so he has a horse-not a pony.  Well tell ya what, I can ride a BIG horse too.  Now, here's where TROUBLE N MISCHIEF came ta get me.  I went out ta the barn and saddled me up a horse-not a pony!!!  After I had saddled Tony, I went fer a nice long ride.  It was GREAT fun ta be on a HORSE and not a PONY, and it was easy, cuz Tony is a nice horse."

" As I was ridin' up the road that leads ta our yard, I could hear a horse behind me gallopin' real fast.  UH OH, its was---ya know who it WOULD HAVE TA BE, RIGHT ?   Yup, it was Pa and HE was so MAD at me AGAIN that his face was all red.  HE had FLAMES comin' out of HIS eyes, and, yup, SMOKE comin' out of HIS ears too !!  I think everyone in Virginia City could hear HIM yellin' at me.  Boy did we ever have a little discussion THAT NIGHT, or maybe I should say-a BIG DISCUSSION !!!!!!!!!   It still hurts ta sit down, so Hoss makes sure that I have a nice soft pillow to sit on everytime I sit down.  Hoss is so nice.  Adam just gives me a funny look, and then he gets THAT little smile on his face."

" Pa gave me so many chores ta do, so I told HIM that LITTLE BOYS shouldn't have ta do so many HARD chores.  Yup, I did say " LITTLE BOY!"  Pa just stood there and looked at me, and told me, since LITTLE BOYS get inta TROUBLE N MISCHIEF all the time, then they have ta do lots of chores.  I kept tryin' ta tell HIM that these chores is too HARD for a LITTLE BOY like me, but HE just glared at me.  IT AIN'T FAIR TA TREAT A LITTLE BOY LIKE THIS PA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

" Ya know what Adam said?  Well, he said this bout me, "you are a little boy who wants ta be a big boy, but is now a little boy again."  HUH ???  Can you believe that???   When I get stuck with havin' ta do ALL of these HARD chores, I am a LITTLE BOY, so I made like I couldn't do ALL those chores, which was TRUE, cuz I got really tired.  I figured that if'n I cried, then just maybe Pa wouldn't make me do so much.  If I planned it out just right, then it just might work.

" I was SO busy making my plans while I was pushin' a REALLY HEAVY LOAD OF CHOPPED WOOD, that the wheelbarrel fell over and I fell over it and landed on the HUGE PILE OF WOOD !!  That REALLY hurted, so I started ta cry.  Pa came runnin' out of the house and over ta me.  HE was very concerned bout me.  HE picked me up and held me.  I couldn't help it, and I cried really hard."

" Pa carried me over ta the rockin' chair on the porch and HE sat down and kept holding me.  HE asked me if I hurt and I said YES, cuz I did hurt.  My ribs hurt, so Pa carried me in the house and laid me on the sattee and HE felt by my ribs and he found where it hurted.  HE felt bad cuz I got hurted.  I told HIM that some of them chores were too hard for a little boy like me to do, and HE agreed with me, and HE told me HE was sorry.  I decided not too play a joke bout the hard chores, cuz them hard chores DID really hurted me."

" Wouldn't ya know, Pa sent Adam ta get Dr. Paul Martin ta come out here and check my ribs.  Dun't get me wrong, Dr. Martin is a nice man, but when I'm sick or hurt, I dun't wanna see him, cuz he gives me AWFUL tastin' stuff ta drink.  YUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

" He  told Pa that I gots some bruised ribs, so he taped me up, and he told me ta stay in bed for a few days and that I had ta take it easy till I healed up."

" I just figured that TROUBLE N MISCHIEF would leave me alone while I was hurt, but OH NO, IT just had ta come up ta my room and attack me while I was sleeping and IT had the NERVE ta wake me up too.  DADBURN IT ALL !!!!!!"

" TROUBLE N MISCHIEF made me get out of bed, get dressed and go down the stairs.  If'n THAT ain't bad enough, IT also MADE me go outside too.  CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT ???"

" It was cold outside, but it felt good cuz I did have a fever from my ribs, so the cool breeze felt nice.  I sat down on the rockin' chair on the porch and wouldn't ya know it, I fell asleep."

" Next thing I knew, there was Pa standin' there with HIS hands on HIS hips and HE was shoutin' at me.  I woke up and looked at HIM tryin' ta look as innocent as possible.  I told HIM that the cool air felt good, cuz I was hot.  HE told me ta go back ta my room and get undressed, inta my nightshirt and back inta bed, but at least we didn't have ta have a ' little discussion'.  So I guess bein' hurt and havin' a fever was a good thing."

" So now ya know why I have ta stay in my room.  I sure wish Sheriff Roy Coffee could put THAT NASTY TROUBLE N MISCHIEF in jail fer a very long time."

THE END.

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