" IT WAS ONLY SUPPOSE TO BE A JOKE "

By: Lynne G.

Ben quickly walked over to his son and he put his arm around the crying boy's shoulder.  " Little Joe, please son we need to talk," Ben softly said.  Little Joe stopped crying, turned around and looked up at Ben with tears running down his pale face.

" Little Joe, I have a lot to say, so I want you to just listen to me, then you can say what ever is on your mind," Ben told his son.  Little Joe just nodded at Ben.  " First of all son, you are NOT adopted.  I am your real father and Marie was your real mother," Ben softly said.  Little Joe just stood there and looked up at Ben not sure if he wanted Ben to leave or stay.  " Son, why don't we go up to my hotel room where we will be more comfortable," Ben suggested.  " I can't leave my job," the boy answered back very softly.  " Don't worry about that, I talked to Derek and he said it was alright," Ben told him.

When Ben and Little Joe got to Ben's room, they sat down on the small sofa in the room.  Little Joe didn't say anything to Ben on their way to the hotel.  He really didn't want to be there, and he felt very uncomfortable as well.

" Little Joe, have I ever lied to you ?" Ben asked as he looked down at his son who was looking at the floor.  Little Joe slowly shook his head.  " Sweetherat, as I said down at the stable, you are NOT adopted.  Adam was pulling a joke on you, which Hoss had no part of.  In fact, he was very angry with Adam for what he said to you," Ben explained.

" All three of you boys are very much like your mothers, especially you Little Joe, and all three of you a very much like me as well.  Where do you think all that stubborness comes from?  Your mother was also very stubborn, so you get a double dose of it.  I see in you a lot of myself when I was a boy.  I use to pull jokes on my older brother, John all the time.  He use to tell me that I was adopted too, but I just laughed it off, like you have done with Adam many times.  I use to pull jokes on all my friends too.  That seems to run on my side of the family.  Sweetheart, I know how upset you get when I have to go away on business, and I know how much you miss me too, so when Adam told you that you were adopted, that was just too much for you to handle.  I know you have been deeply hurt.  You don't belong here baby.  You belong at home on the Ponderosa with your family who love you more than anything else in this world," Ben said.

" Hoss is very much like his mother, Inger, in so many ways.  His love for animals, his gentleness, and his willing to help anyone who needs help.  Inger had a heart of gold, just like Hoss has.  She did have a temper too, but she hardly ever used it, and Hoss is the same way.  Then there's Adam, who is very serious and very stubborn, which he gets from his mothers' side of the family.  I have tried to change that in him since he was a boy, but as you can tell, I didn't succeed," Ben explained.

" Please Little Joe, please believe me.   Again, I know you have been deeply hurt by what Adam said.  He regets what he said, and he feels awful.  Hoss is beside himself with worry about you sweetheart.  Your brothers have searched everywhere for you.  They had ' missing person ' posters made up and sent all over the Nevada Territory, and they did this before I came home from San Francisco.  After I came home and found out what happened, I almost gave Adam a very hard tanning,"  Ben told his son.  Little Joe was still silent as he just listened to what Ben was saying. 

" We had more posters made up and sent them off to California, Texas, and the Oregon Territory, and we continued to look for you," Ben continued to say.

" Little Joe, you have a family who loves you so very much and we want you back in our lives," Ben said as he put his hand on his sons' chin and he turned the boys' head toward him so he could look at the boys' face.  Little Joe began to trembling and crying as all the emotions that he had kept inside of him had finally let go and had over taken him and he totally broke down.

Ben picked him up and sat him on his lap so he could hold his son, and he cried too.  Little Joe cried for over thirty minutes, until he fell into a very exhausted sleep.  Ben continued to hold his son as he kissed the top of the boys' head.  After about an hour, Ben was still hold Little Joe as he stood up and carried his sleeping son into the bedroom where he laid the boy on the bed, took his boots off of him and covered him up.  Ben felt tired also, and he hoped that he had gotten through to his son's mind and that the boy would be alright.

Ben heard a knock on the door, so he went to see who was there, and it was Roy.  " Hi Roy, come in," Ben said.  " Hi Ben.  Is everything alright again?" asked Roy.  " I sure hope so Roy.  I had a long talk with Little Joe and he completely broke down.  He had been holding in all his emotions all this time and I think he finally released them.  He was so hurt Roy.  I haven't heard him cry like that since Marie died.  He fell into an exhausted sleep, so I carried him into the bedroom so he could sleep for awhile," Ben sadly told Roy.  Roy put his hand on Ben's shoulder and he said, " Ben, I think Little Joe will be fine, but it will just take time, and then the next hard thing for him will be when he see's Adam.."  " I know Roy.  I've been thinking about that too, so when we are riding home, I'll keep talking to him about that and maybe I can help him through it," Ben said.

" Ben, would you and Little Joe like to join me for dinner tonight?" Roy asked.  " Thanks Roy, I really appreciate the offer, but I think I still need to be alone with Little Joe yet tonight.  How about breakfast though?" Ben suggested.  " That would be great Ben," Roy agreed. 

" Roy, do you have any plans for the next hour or so?" Ben asked.  " No I don't," Roy said.  " Roy, I hate to ask you this, but I need to send a telegram to Adam and Hoss, then I need to talk to Derek Paulson also.  So I was wondering if you wouldn't mind staying here with Little Joe, just in case he wakes up," Ben asked.  " I'd be happy to Ben.  You how I feel about Little Joe," Roy said as he smiled at Ben.  " Thanks Roy.  I can't thank you enough," Ben happily told Roy.  Before Ben left, he looked in at Little Joe and the boy was still sleeping.

After Ben had sent a telegram to Adam and Hoss, he walked over to the stables to talk to Derek.  " Hi Mr. Cartwright.  How did it go with the boy?" asked Derek.  " Hi Mr. Paulson.  I think it went alright.  Please call me Ben, Ben said.  " OK, you call me Derek," Derek said.  " Derek it is, Ben said as he smiled.

" Ben, I have to tell you that I think a lot of Robbie, I mean Little Joe.  That boy is a hard worker, and an excellent worker too.  He's a very sweet boy and very quiet too.  I knew he was very young, but I could also tell that he seemed very sad.  I tried to get him to come and live with my wife and me, but he said he just wanted to live in that small room over there," Derek said as he pointed towards the door that led into the small room at the end of the stable.  " I was also worried about the boy as he looked so tired all the time, and I know he wasn't eating very much.  We tried to get him to come and eat with us, but he refused," Derek told Ben.

Ben told Derek how much he appreciated that he gave Little Joe a job and let him saty at the stable.  Ben told Derek the story of why Little Joe had run away from home.  Derek felt sorry for the boy, and he told Ben that his older sister use to tell him that he was adopted too, and at how much that had hurt him as well.

Derek gave Ben an envolope with money in it and told Ben it was the money that Little Joe had earned.  Ben thanked him as they went into the small room so Ben could get Little Joe's things.  He left Little Joe's saddle in the barn, but he took the saddle bags, his son's jacket and hat.  Ben told Derek that he and Little Joe would leave for home in a couple of days.  He wanted Little Joe to get some rest and eat before they started for home. 

Ben was back at the hotel in one hour.  " Hi Roy.  Little Joe still sleeping?" Ben asked as he laid down the saddle bags, jacket and hat.  " Yes, he is.  I looked in on him a couple of times," Roy said.  " Thanks Roy," Ben said.  " Did you get everything done that you needed to Ben?" Roy asked.  " Yes I did," Ben said.  " Well Ben, I think I'll let you get some rest too old friend, since you have had a very emotional day too.  See you and Little Joe in the morning then?" Roy said.  " Yes, we will come and knock on your door, and then we can all have breakfast, Ben told Roy.  " Sounds great to me.  See ya Ben," Roy said as he left.  Ben went in the bedroom and laid down next to Little Joe, and fell alseep.

About two hours later, Ben woke up and he looked at his son, who was still sleeping.  " He looks so little," Ben thought to himself.  He decided he had better wake up his son so he could get washed up for dinner. 

" Little Joe, son, wake up sweetheart," Ben said several times as he gently rubbed his son's back.  Little Joe slowly opened his eyes, rubbed them and yawned several times.  " Hi son.  Sorry I had to wake you, but it's almost time for dinner.  I ordered us room service.  Are you hungry sweetheart?" Ben asked.  " A little.  I love you Pa," Little Joe said as tears filled up his eyes again.  I love you too precious," Ben said as he held his son tightly.  After a few minutes, Ben looked at Little Joe, and he dried the tears there were on his son's face.  " How about you get washed up for dinner now, by then dinner should be here," Ben suggested.  " Ok Pa," the boy said.

After they ate their dinner, they talked some more.  Little Joe had eaten most of his dinner, but he was still emotionally drained, that he was having trouble keeping his eyes open.  Ben was also very tired, so they went to bed early.

 Ben woke up about seven that next morning and he felt very rested.  He turned to look at Little Joe, and the boy was still sleeping.  Ben quietly got up, washed, shaved and got dressed.  By then Little Joe was starting to wake up, so Ben watched his son and he smiled at the boy as he opened his eyes.  " Good morning sweetheart.  How did you sleep?" Ben asked.  " Morning Pa.  I slept good, but I'm still tired," Little Joe answered back.  " I bet you are son.  Yesterday was extremely emotional for you.  That's why we are staying here till tomorrow so you can get rested up.  As soon as you get washed up and dressed, we are joining Roy for breakfast," Ben told his son.  " Ok Pa.  I am kinda hungry," Little Joe said as he smiled at Ben.  " Good boy," Ben said as he hugged his son.

Breakfast was enjoyable.  During breakfast Roy told Ben and Little Joe that he was catching the stage back to Virginia City in a couple of hours.  After breakfast, Ben and Little Joe went with Roy over to the stage depot.  Ben again thanked Roy for all of his help.  " I was more than happy to help Ben.  Now you two have a safe trip home tomorrow," Roy said as he got on the stage.  " Thanks Roy, and you have a safe trip too," Ben said.  " Bye Sheriff Coffee," Little Joe said.  " Bye Little Joe.  See ya at home," Roy said.

Ben and Little Joe went to buy some supplies for their trip home.  On the way back to the hotel, Little Joe wanted to go by the stables to talk to Derek for a few minutes. 

Back at the hotel, Little Joe sat down on the sofa and he looked at Ben and he said, " Pa, I'm scared ta go home.  I wanna see Hoss and Hop Sing, but I'm scared ta see Adam."  That statement caught Ben be surprise.  He walked over to the sofa, sat down next to Little Joe, and he put his arm around the boy's shoulder.  " Son, why are you scared to see Adam?" Ben asked.  " I'm not sure Pa.  Maybe he won't want me back home.  Maybe he's mad at me cuz he got in trouble at what he told me.  Pa, help me please.  I'm scared, and I don't know what to do or say to him," Little Joe softly told Ben as tears ran down his face.  " Oh, Little Joe, please don't worry sweetheart.  Adam wants you home very much.  He is nervous about what to say to you too.  Everything will be just fine son.  Now, let me see that famous smile of yours," Ben said as he wiped away his son's tears.  Little Joe gave Ben a small smile.

Little Joe told Ben about Chester and Clara Norton and how nice they were to him the two weeks he lived with them, and he asked Ben if they could stop by to see them on their way home.  Ben agreed and he wanted to thank them and explain to them about why Little Joe had come to them. 

Early the next morning after breakfast, Ben and Little Joe checked out of their hotel room and headed to the stables to get their horses, and say ' good bye ' to Derek.  Derek was very happy for Little Joe, and he gave the boy a big hug.  He know that he would miss Little Joe very much.  Ben again thanked him for helping Little Joe.  Then Ben and Little Joe left Placerville.

The next afternoon, they rode into the Norton's yard.  They got off their horses, walked up to the front door and knocked.  When the door opened, Clara stood and as soon as she saw Little Joe, she smiled and hugged the boy.  " Oh Robbie, I'm so happy to see you honey.  Come in," she said.  " Hi Mrs. Norton, it's great to see you again ma'am," Little Joe said as he smiled at her. 

About thirty minutes later the front door opened again and Chester Norton walked in.  As soon as he saw Little Joe, he too gave the boy a big hug.  " Robbie, you've come back to us.  It is so wonderful to see you son.  We have really missed you," Chester said.  " It's good to be back again, Mr. Norton,' Little Joe said. 

" Mr and Mrs. Norton, my name is Ben Cartwright and Robbie, or I should say, Little Joe is my son.  I know you are probably wondering about that and I will explain what has been going on, but first I just want to thank you both for letting Little Joe stay here with you," Ben told them. 

" Mr. Cartwright, please call us Chester and Clara," Chester told Ben.  " Alright, and you can call me Ben," Ben said as he smiled at them.  Ben then explained why Little Joe had run away from home.

" We're sorry about what happened to you Little Joe, and we are very happy to know that you do have a family honey.  Ben, why don't you and Little Joe stay for dinner and spend the night.  You both look very tired," Clara said.  " Thank you very much Clara.  We are tired," Ben said.  " Little Joe, why don't you go and take care of your horses.  You know where the grain is son," Chester told the boy.  " Yes sir.  Thank you," Little Joe said as he left the room. 

" Ben, is Little Joe alright?  He is so skinny and very tired looking," asked a very concerned Clara.  " He is tired and way too skinny.  That boy has been through a rough time.  He did get himself a job in Placerville at the stables.  He worked very hard, but he didn't sleep very well or didn't eat very much.  He was deeply hurt at what his oldest brother said.  I had to go away on business and Little Joe always gets very upset when I'm gone.  You see, his mother died when he was only five years old, and he thinks that when I'm gone, that I won't come back either, and that makes him very upset.  So when Adam told him that he was adopted it really hurt him.  He usually laughs it off when Adam tells him that, but he was so upset this time when Adam told him, that he felt that his world had been turned upside down.  I had a long talk with him, and all those feelings and emotions that he had kept to himself, just gave way.  He will be fine, but it might take him a while.  He is very nervous about seeing Adam, as I know Adam feels the same. He feels so bad about that stupid joke he pulled on Little Joe.  Those two need to have a talk about what happened," Ben told the Nortons

" Ben, Little Joe is a wonderful boy.  You should be very proud of him.  Not only is he a hard worker, but he is very caring too.  When he first got here, he wanted to do chores in trade for some grain for his horse, even though he was starving.  He is quite a boy Ben," Chester told Ben.  " Thank you.  Yes he is a very caring boy, and a hard worker when he wants to be.  He's also a very sensitive boy, which makes him very easy to be hurt by words, even if it is a nasty joke.," Ben said.

After breakfast that next morning, Ben and Little Joe said ' good bye ' and again they thanked the Nortons for all their kindness.  They were soon on their way home.

Little Joe didn't say much the rest of the way home.  He was very tired, and the closer they got to The Ponderosa, the more nervous he became.  That last full day on the trail, he was too  nervous to eat or sleep, which was worried Ben.  When they stopped for the night, Ben tried to get the boy to eat some dinner, but Little Joe's stomach was just too upset to eat.

Ben sat next to his son and he put his arm around the boy's shoulder and he could feel his son's body trembling.  " Little Joe, please son just relax before you make your self sick.  Everything will be just fine sweetheart, I promise you son.  That night Little Joe couldn't sleep at all as his mind was racing.

Early the next morning, Ben tried to get Little Joe to eat some breakfast, but the boy refused.  Ben didn't try to push his son into eating then as he didn't want to upset him more than he was.  They were soon on their way home again.  Ben figured that they would be home around three in the afternoon.

Hop Sing was planning on making Little Joe's favorite food for dinner that night.  He had even made the boy's favorite cake, chocolate.  He was so excited about seeing Little Joe again.  He had missed the boy very much as the house was much too quiet without Little Joe.

Hoss and Adam had made up a big sign and they hung it up so it would be the first thing Little Joe would see when he rode into the yard.  The sign was Adam's idea, and he hoped that his little brother would like it.  The sign read:  " WELCOME HOME LITTLE JOE !!!! "

Hoss was so excited that he had a hard time trying to settle down.  " Dadburnit Adam, it's so hard to wait!" Hoss told Adam.  " I know what you mean Hoss.  I can't wait to see our baby brother either, and I'm trying to figure out what to say to him," Adam said as he looked at Hoss with sad eyes.  " Don't worry big brother, you'll come up with the right words to say to him," Hoss told Adam as he put his arm around Adam's shoulder

Just before three in the afternoon, two very tired Cartwrights rode into the yard.  As soon as Little Joe saw the big " WELCOME HOME LITTLE JOE " sign, the tears filled up his eyes and ran down his face.  " Pa, look," he said softly as he pointed to the sign.  " Well, will you look at that.  See I told you son not too worry didn't I?" Ben said as he looked at the now very emotional boy.  Little Joe just nodded.

The front door flew open as Hoss ran out the door, followed by Adam and Hop Sing.  Hoss ran up to Little Joe and he literally pulled his little brother off the horse and he hugged the boy.  " Oh Punkin, you're home finally.  I missed you so much baby !" Hoss said as tears ran down his face.  Little Joe couldn't talk, as he just cried.  He had his wrapped his legs around Hoss's waist and his arms around Hoss's neck.  Ben got off Buck with tears in his eyes as well.  When he looked over at Adam and Hop Sing, they too had tears running down their faces as well. 

Hop Sing walked over to Hoss and Little Joe and he patted Little Joe's back and he said, " Welcome home Little Joe.  It so good to have number three son back where he belong."  All Little Joe could do was smile at Hop Sing as he was still crying. 

Adam walked over to his two brothers, and he put his hand on Little Joe's back.  " Little Joe, little buddy," Adam said softly.  Little Joe looked at Adam, unwrapped his arms from Hoss's neck and he held out his arms to Adam.  As Adam reached out to take his little brother, Little Joe unwrapped his legs from around Hoss's waist, and he wrapped them around Adam's waist.  Adam held his little brother tightly, and they both cried.  Hop Sing headed back to the house while Ben and Hoss took the horses into the barn.  They all knew that Little Joe and Adam needed time alone.

" Oh God Little Joe, I am so so sorry about what I told you baby.  I thought it would be funny to tease you, but I was so very wrong.  How could I ever hurt you so deeply, when I love you so much.  Oh little buddy, I love you so much.  You are part of my life.  I missed you so very much.  Oh, Little Joe, I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me for being so stupid and thoughtless.  I thank God everyday that you are my baby brother.  I will never forget that night when you were born.  You were so tiny, so helpless, even though you were only a few minutes old, I just knew that I needed to protect you from the world.  I thank Marie for giving you to us.  Oh God Little Joe, I love you so much boy !" Adam told his little brother as he was crying.  Little Joe was crying too hard to say anything. 

Adam carried his little brother over to the rocking chair on the front porch and he sat down in the chair still holding his little brother for dear life, and they both just cried.  After several more minutes, Adam was able to get his emotions under control.  He was patting and rubbing Little Joe's back and kissing the top of the boys curly head. 

" Hey little buddy, are you alright?" Adam asked the sobbing boy.  Little Joe nodded and very quietly said, " I'm ok Adam.  I forgive ya.  I love you Adam."   " Thank you little buddy," Adam said as he closed his eyes, and he hugged his little brother again.

Ben and Hoss walked over to Adam and Little Joe, and Ben said, " Are you two alright?"  "  We're just fine Pa, aren't we little brother?"  Adam said as he smiled at Ben.  Little Joe just nodded as he was still crying.  " Why don't we all go into the house and get washed up for dinner," Ben suggested as he looked at Adam and Little Joe and smiled.  Adam still didn't want to let go of his little brother, so he carried him into the house.

Little Joe was so sleepy that he could barely finish his piece of cake.  He was so exhausted that he did fall asleep at the table.  His family looked at him and they had to smile because the boy was still holding his fork in his hand.

Adam carried him up to his room, while Hoss pulled down the blankets on the bed.  Adam laid his little brother down on his bed, and his family got the boy undressed and into his nightshirt.  Ben covered up his son, and they all stood there and watched the boy sleep.

Once they had gone back down stairs, Ben told Adam, Hoss and Hop Sing about Little Joe's time with the Nortons and then about him working at the stable in Placerville.  Adam, Hoss and Hop Sing were amazed at what Little Joe had gone through, and again Adam apologized for what he had told his little brother.

" Little boy needs to eat.  Much too skinny.  He need to rest too.  Much too tired," Hop Sing said.  " I totally agree with you Hop Sing," Ben said.  " We'll all make sure he eats and gets plenty of rest," Adam said.  " Do ya think Short Shanks will agree to that?" Hoss asked.  " I don't think he will have any choice in that matter, since he is out numbered by adults," Ben said as he smiled.  They all agreed to what Ben had just said. 

The heart of The Ponderosa was safely back home right where he belonged, which was the most important thing.

THE END

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