Home to Stay part 4

by: Lyn R.

Expecting the trouble with Addison to come to a head on Friday, the next two days seemed to go very slowly. Outwardly things were normal, although the number of hands in the bunkhouse steadily increased as the men were called in from the outlying parts of the ranch. Under the surface the tension steadily grew as they planned the details of their defence. Hoss at one point remarked that he hoped they were right, it would be a terrible anticlimax if nothing happened. Somehow none of them doubted that trouble was coming, it all seemed to fit too well.

Friday morning dawned bright and clear. Hoss was ready to set out for the mines. The wagons weren’t due to leave the mines until five in the evening as time at the stamp-mill was booked during the night, so Hoss could take his time riding up there. Ben was sending Red, one of the long time hands, with Hoss to make sure that he got there safely, as his leg was still very weak. Hoss was going to explain the risks to the miners and ask for volunteers to defend the mine and to guard the ore wagons. A further party of hands would join him later in the day, led by Roy who had arrived the previous evening.

Roy had told them that some thirty men, led by Dan and Philip Deidersheimer, would be out to help defend the ranch. All of them long time friends of the Cartwrights who wanted to repay past favours. Ben was delighted to know that so many people were willing to risk their lives to help him and his family, forgetting how often they had risked their own lives for their friends. Ben was heading up to the lumber camp and sawmill to ask for volunteers there, and Adam promised to send extra help later in the day, when he knew just how many men were available.

Ben’s parting with his sons was a casual “Look after yourselves” but he was heavy hearted as he rode off, wondering if all four of them would survive this night, because he was sure there would be men dead before morning. Adam had simply given both his big brother and his father a swift hug and watched them leave with a prayer that both would be safe.

In town Carole was very restless and found it almost impossible to concentrate in school. As evening approached and she dressed for dinner she tried hard to stay calm, but all she could think about was the fight for the ranch that Adam and his family might be facing that night. Carole did her best to act when Addison took her out but when the food was gone and they were sitting over drinks, Buck asked her what was wrong.

Carole bit back a hasty reply, and fell back on an old excuse, she had a headache. Addison didn’t accept that “Are you thinking about your cowboy?”

Carole laughed to hear Adam described like that “He’s not quite the normal run of cowboys.”

“So I hear, plays around with all sorts of things, bit of engineering, bit of law, bit of a gunman.”

Carole glared at him “I will not discuss my fiancé with you.”

“When’s the wedding?”

“In a couple of months. I have to finish out this term at school first and Adam is designing our house.”

Addison grinned at that thought, by morning a new house would be needed but Adam wasn’t going to be around to design it. Carole didn’t like the expression on his face and almost despite herself she said, “Why are you looking like that, what do you mean?”

Addison shrugged “I was just thinking I must meet this paragon of virtue, expert in so many fields.” The sarcasm dripped from his voice and Carole, very uneasy, said “Leave Adam alone, don’t hurt him.” The emphasis was on the last word and Addison frowned at her, grabbing her arm “I think it’s time we had a private talk.”

Before she knew what was happening he led the way out the back and down the corridor to his room, the grip on her elbow almost painful. Carole was too slow to react and too embarrassed to scream and found herself pushed into a luxurious suite. Addison locked the door and lent against it “Right Carole just what did you mean by that remark?”

Carole tried to bluff him “I only meant that you were jealous and you mustn’t harm Adam. You always were ruthless.”

Addison knew her far too well “You’re lying, what do you know?” He started walking towards her and scared Carole backed away until she felt the wall behind her and couldn’t go any further. Addison grabbed her arms “Tell me the truth Carole, just how much do you know?” Even as he spoke, Buck realised that if she hadn’t known anything before he had just told her that there was something to know. He was well aware that she was very bright and he backed off slightly at the thought, but Carole couldn’t keep it in any longer. She wasn’t going to be scared by him, still positive that he wouldn’t hurt her. She straightened her shoulders “Alright I’ll tell you what I know. I know that you are trying to ruin the Ponderosa, that you had Joe beaten and Hoss shot. And I know that you are going to lose, because they are better men than you are. More determined and much cleverer than you’ll ever be, with right on their side. Now give me the key of this room, I’m going home.”

Addison was shocked to realise that his cover was penetrated and to know he would never win her back, but he couldn’t stop her and passed her the key and then watched her leave.

Addison was still determined to get his revenge on Adam, blaming him for the loss of Carole. His plans were all laid and by now the various groups of men would be moving into position. He had planned to leave within quarter of an hour anyway, but it would ruin his plans if Carole went out to the Ponderosa. He went down to the schoolhouse and he could see her moving around inside. He left two men to make sure that she didn’t leave but warned them that she was not to be physically hurt. In his own warped way he did still love her. Then Addison headed out for the spot he had chosen so carefully, where he was going to come face to face with his rival.

Carole paced around the schoolhouse, very worried by what she had said. She went over and over exactly what she had said wondering if she ought to go out to the ranch and let Adam know. Eventually she decided that she had no news that would help. She hadn’t said anything to alert Addison that the Cartwrights were expecting trouble that night and they were already expecting a full-scale attack. Maybe she had ensured that it would take place but it wasn’t exactly news and if she went to the ranch and there was trouble, she would just be in the way. Eventually she sunk down onto the sofa and poured herself a large drink as she settled down to wait for news. There was no way she could sleep, she was far too worried, and all she could do was wait and pray.

At the ranch Adam had explained the situation to the men only keeping back Addison’s name and personal reasons for the attack. Every one of the hands had expressed their willingness to fight. Adam had expected it, knowing the men, but he was touched and for a minute he couldn’t find his voice. Then he thanked all of them and began organising them into four groups. Including the men from town he had 127 men. He sent 30 with Roy to join Hoss and 40 men with Dan and Philip to join his father. He put 30 under José to be ready to ride out at the first sign of trouble to wherever they were needed and had Kirk deploy fifteen men round the house for protection. The remaining twelve he told to have horses saddled and be ready to ride with messages, when he needed them.

Unable to do anything else to prepare for trouble Adam went back inside and up to join his little brother and Beth. Joe knew that he was too weak to really be able to help but insisted that Adam load his rifle and bring his gun belt up. Adam did so but made his brother promise to stay quietly in bed unless the house was under attack. Joe begrudgingly agreed.

Suddenly they heard an altercation outside, one of Kirk’s guards had caught a man sneaking in. The man insisted he only had a letter, and yelled at the top of his voice “A letter for Adam Cartwright that he will wanna see.”

Adam forced a grin for Joe “Guess I had better go and see what all the excitement is about.” He went downstairs and called to Kirk to bring the man over to him. The man, a stranger, was unshaven with a low slung gun, and asked “You Cartwright?”

Adam nodded and the man went on “I wanna talk to you in private, about Miss King.” This was said with a leer and Adam went cold at the words. He ordered Kirk to search the man and Kirk removed both his gun and a vicious looking knife, both of which he handed to Adam. Adam signalled Kirk and the other two of his men who had escorted the stranger in, to go back on guard and then turned back to the stranger. “Alright what do you have to say.”

The man handed Adam a letter, purporting to be from Carole. It was a good forgery; Addison had kept all her letters from four years ago. It wasn’t signed but Adam knew the handwriting. The letter was short and to the point “I am being held as a hostage. If you come with this man I will be set free; otherwise they say they will kill me. Come alone.” Adam knew that she had been having dinner with Addison, it would have been so easy to grab her and even before he finished reading it, he knew he would have to go. He grabbed the messenger “Where is she?”
The man just shrugged “I don’t know. My orders were to bring you to a certain point. If I’m not there with you in one hour, she pays and that’s all I know.” The way he said it carried conviction and Adam lost all colour, knowing he couldn’t take the risk, despite Carole’s belief that Addison would never harm her. He knew that he was putting his own neck in a noose but maybe he could find some way out, he knew he had to try. He called Kirk over “Tie him up and guard him. Then get Sport saddled for me.” Adam was about to head up to see Joe when the man said “If we are followed it’ll be the worse for her.”

Adam went into Joe’s room and Joe knew that something was terribly wrong as soon as he saw Adam’s face. “Pa, Hoss?”

“They are fine. I’ve had a note Addison has grabbed Carole, it’s her handwriting. He wants an exchange, her for me.” Joe stared in horror at his brother “You promised Pa you’d stay here. He’ll kill you.”

“Probably but if I stay here and they kill Carole?” the terror was clear on his face “I couldn’t live with that Joe. Maybe I’ll get the chance to turn the tables, I have to try.”

“Carole was sure that Addison would never hurt her.” Joe protested but Adam shook his head “She has barely seen him for four years, she doesn’t know him any more.” Adam stared at his brother “Would you risk it?”

Joe had to admit in his brother’s place, he would be making the same decision. Tacitly admitting that Adam had won that argument Joe asked, “What can I do?”

“You’ll have to decide when and where to send José, when we get news and otherwise stay put.”

Joe put out his hand and Adam took it, he bent down and gave his brother a hug and then hurriedly he left. Joe pulled himself to the window and stood watching Adam ride off with the stranger, knowing he would probably never see his brother alive again. Beth had come back in and she supported him back to the bed and then Joe asked her to go and fetch one of the messengers and a long-term hand Jamieson. He wrote a quick note and asked the messenger to take it to his father up at the sawmill.

Then Joe turned his attention to Jamieson. He knew the older man was one of the best trackers they had on the ranch. Joe asked Jamieson to try and follow Adam, but to be very careful to make sure that he wasn’t seen. Jamieson was to take two other men with him so that if they could track Adam down, a message could be sent back to the house and to Ben at the sawmill. It was all Joe could do and he felt it was so little, it seemed hopeless to try and get any aid to Adam in the wide expanses of the Ponderosa at night.

As he rode into the trap Adam prayed that Carole and his family would be all right. He knew that his own chances of living past the next couple of hours were very slight and as he was led up towards the lake, he took a last leave of the land that he loved. They hadn’t long left the house when Adam heard shooting coming from there, his guide cum captor wouldn't say anything but just led him on. About twenty minutes later he led Adam into a clearing he knew well, it was one of the few places from where the house and the flume could be seen. It was empty but he was ordered to dismount and wait. He still had his gun but knew it was of no use while Carole was held as a threat against him. He stood waiting, wondering what was happening for what seem an age, when suddenly an order came from behind him to drop his gunbelt. Adam did so and then moved back as he was ordered.

Then Adam was allowed to turn round and found himself face to face with an elegantly dressed good looking man of about his own age. The pair stood considering each other and eventually Adam said, “You must be Addison.”

“Yes Carole told me that you knew. May I ask how? I thought I had covered my tracks rather well.”

“You booked the transport that I required before Christmas, using your own name and then cancelled it a month later.”

Addison nodded “I wondered if it was that. A foolish move before I decided to take over the Ponderosa.”

“You won’t succeed.”

Addison just laughed “It will be mine by morning, as you will see. Sit down, the entertainment will start very soon.”

Meanwhile the attacks had been launched. Hoss was on the lead wagon and was expecting the ambush but it was well set and his driver was hit. Hoss pushed the injured man down into the seatwell and took the reins, keeping his wagon moving forward; knowing the others would follow. At the first shot Roy and his men, who had been keeping at the back moved forward, giving covering fire for the heavy wagons. There were nearly forty men attacking the wagons and they had been told that it would be a walkover, but in fact found themselves under heavy fire. The running battle carried on for about ten minutes and then the attackers pulled back to lick their wounds and reform.

As soon as things quietened down Hoss pulled up his wagon, needing to know what the damage was and tend the injured. Hoss needed to cut free one injured animal from his wagon and there were several others on the other wagons. Roy quickly checked his men, two were dead and five others badly hurt, including the driver from Hoss’ wagon. Adam had been scared that something like that would happen and he had suggested that Hoss take a light wagon along just in case they had anyone hurt and some spare oxen. Grateful for his brother’s foresight Hoss had the injured lifted into the wagon and the two dead tied over spare horses, asking two men to take them on into town. Several others had flesh wounds but for the moment they accepted rough first aid from their mates and were ready to carry on. Roy had a graze on his arm but so far Hoss himself was untouched. It took Hoss about quarter of an hour to rearrange things and then he was ready to move on towards the mills. They still had some twenty miles to go and Hoss knew there would probably be another attack but at least they had weathered the first one, albeit at the cost of two lives.

At the house the firing was sporadic as those mounting the attack discovered that it was well defended. They jostled for position probing to try and find a weak spot. Their orders were very specific, they were to set fire to the house and Addison wanted the fire set on the upper floor, specifically in Adam’s bedroom. He had bought information about the house from an ex-hand and knew exactly which room belonged to his rival. Addison needed to destroy Adam’s possessions and make sure Adam knew it before he destroyed the man himself. He wanted to wipe all trace of his rival off the earth. Anyway it made good sense to start the fire on the upper storey; it would be more difficult to put it out. Addison was sure that the fire could be started, by using fire arrows from the roof of the outhouse. With any luck it would get a firm hold before it was even discovered.

Beth insisted that Joe stay in bed, there was nothing he could do for now and to Joe it seemed time was standing still. He could hear occasional shots but both defenders and attackers were in cover and everyone was loath to take the risk of moving. The stalemate continued for over two hours and then one of the men, Hank, who had gone with Jamieson broke through the cordon of attackers and went up to the house.

Hank went up to report to Joe. They had managed to track Adam, his brother had deliberately left sign, brushing against trees to break twigs, walking Sport through any soft ground that he could. Adam was being held in the middle of a clearing with at least two guns on him that they could see. They hadn’t dared make a move; Adam would be dead before they could reach him and the two gunmen were well protected. Jamieson had stayed behind to watch sending Hank back to see Joe while Red went to see Mr Cartwright.

From Hank’s description Joe knew exactly where his brother was being held but he was too weak to go to Adam himself. He asked Hank to send José up and then explained the situation to their foreman. Joe asked José to take five men and break out, try to help Adam.

José agreed immediately, but pointed out that they couldn’t make any overt move to attack the clearing, Adam would be the first to die. Even if Jamieson had only seen two guns there could be more.

Little Joe nodded, not daring to meet his friend’s gaze “ I know that José but don’t forget Adam will be angling for a chance. He won’t just be waiting to die. If you’re around, maybe you can pull him out. Just play it by ear. Pa may well be there anyway but I don’t know what’s happening at the sawmill, He may not even know yet that Adam’s gone.” Joe looked up, near despair so clear on his face “It’s all I can do José”

José gripped Joe’s left hand “I’ll do all I can. Try not to worry Adam’s canny enough to wriggle out of trouble, he’s done it before, I’d bet on him doing it again.”

José didn’t find any great problem in slipping his men out through the cordon, no shots came their way and once they were well clear, they mounted and headed after Adam. If the rest of the rescue went as easily there would be no trouble, but José knew that the odds were heavily against him being able to do anything to help his friend.

Ben had faced the first of the four attacks and had been hard pressed as some sixty men attacked the sawmill. They had dug themselves in on the treeline and then started to lob dynamite. At first the Ponderosa hands had managed to pull the fuses out but the lesson was quickly learnt and the attackers shortened the fuses. Two men were blown up as they tried to reach the dynamite. At that Ben had ordered his men to take cover, he wouldn’t risk lives unnecessarily. They had worked hard all day and dismantled the two main saws and hidden them. While they remained the sawmill could be made operational within a couple of weeks even if the whole structure was destroyed. The attackers continued to lob dynamite into the mill, until it was just a smouldering ruin. Then they turned their attention to the piles of wood, cut and ready for delivery. Here their job wasn’t so easy, in order to reach the cut timber they had to leave the cover of the trees and came under a barrage of fire from the Ponderosa hands. After two frontal attacks, they retired with quite heavy casualties to consider matters.

Ben had his men well organised, with one group firing, another reloading. The one thing they had done during the days of planning was to check all guns and ensure more than adequate ammunition at all possible points. Ben also had certain men detailed to be ready for fire fighting if necessary, he wanted to try and save the cut wood if it was at all possible.

The ruin of the sawmill was still alight and gave a dusky light over the scene. It was a very uncertain light for accurate shooting and any hits made were due to the sheer barrage of shots. Thus a lone rider Bill Symons, managed to make his way up to Ben’s party unharmed despite being shot at from both sides.

Bill called out that he had a message from Joe and was allowed in. Worried Ben hurried over to him and recognising Bill he asked what was happening. Bill repeated what Joe had told him “Adam left the house with a stranger. The man brought a message from Carole, she was being held hostage and was gonna be killed if Adam didn’t go.” Ben aged visibly as Bill spoke, it was what he had feared, a trap set for Adam, which could cost his life. It was why he had made his son promise to stay at the house. Now he felt he should have foreseen this move the one thing, which would force his son to break his word.

Somehow Ben managed to keep control and he asked, “What has Joe done?”

Bill explained that Joe had sent Jamieson with two men to track Adam. Once they knew where Adam was being held one would bring word to the sawmill and the other take word back to the house. Ben couldn’t think what else Joe could have done with Carole held as a hostage, Adam would have to go alone, but he knew it was long odds against him being able to reach his son with help in time to be able to save his life. There was nothing he could do until the next messenger reached him, other than pray for his eldest son. Then suddenly a fresh attack was launched and he had to try and put the fear for Adam to the back of his mind and cope with the new attack. The reason for the delay was soon obvious as fire arrows began to rain down on them. The fire fighters were soon very busy trying to save the months of work and thousands of dollars the pile of cut timber represented. Then Ben saw a group of the attackers riding off. A couple of minutes later they heard firing coming from a distance and knew that the group must have run into Johnny’s party. At the mill there was a lull in the fighting and Ben stared into the distance, so scared for Adam, and wondering what was happening with Hoss and elsewhere on his ranch.

His attention was brought back to the present as another man rode in. This time it was Red, who had been sent by Jamieson. He had not had very far to go from where Adam was being held. Red headed straight over to Ben. Ben stood tensely watching him approach and recognising the fear, Red said “Adam’s fine so far.” Ben relaxed a little and Red went on to explain exactly where Adam was being held and the conditions as far as they had been able to see. Red said, “He’s just sitting in the middle of a clearing, there were two guns on him that we could see, although we couldn’t really make out the men holding them. He seemed to be talking to someone in front of him but we couldn’t see him at all. Jamieson stayed to watch and Hank went back to tell Joe while I came here.”

Ben nodded and turned to Jack Catfish “I have to go to Adam.”

“Of course Boss. I can keep this fight going, you go and get Adam out.”

Ben said tautly “Thank you.” And then picked four men to go with him, all men he knew were steady and good shots. He carefully watched the pattern of gun flashes in order to see the best way to break out. He soon spotted a break in the cordon in the direction of the flume and he led his small party through it and headed towards his eldest son.

Meanwhile Hoss and the wagons had been attacked again but those attacking them were in a quandary. They couldn’t kill the oxen or they wouldn’t be able to move the wagons. They had planned to wipe out the men with the wagons and take charge but there were too many of them and the defenders were too good with guns. Suffering too many casualties, the attacking group were reduced to trying to pick men of from a distance, but it was dark and hard to be accurate, especially with Roy and his men keeping up defensive fire. Then another forty odd men suddenly descended on the wagons.

For a moment as they saw the men approaching Hoss and Roy were totally dismayed but then Hoss realised that the shooting at them had faded as the raiders saw help coming. Then the new force was amongst them whooping and yelling and Hoss recognised John McKay. He turned to Roy “Looks like a rescue mission.”

Fair and McKay had brought half the afternoon shift out to meet the wagons in case of trouble. The miners knew that Adam had helped to design and the Cartwrights had fought for the introduction of the square set shoring which had probably saved at least some of their lives, cave ins being much less frequent and less catastrophic. The miners were very willing to help out especially with the prospect of a good fight. McKay and Fair were unable to control their miners, who seeing their enemy running were off in hot pursuit, not about to be done out of a fight. The two men let the rest go and stopped by Hoss’ wagon, the big man instantly recognisable even in the dim light of the moon. Jim Fair said, “We heard you might be in trouble and thought we’d help out.”

Hoss grinned broadly “I think anyone would have run from that charge, if my leg was better I’d have led the way. The cavalry have nothing on you lot.”

Jim was very pleased at their reception “Right we’ll escort you on in.”

Hoss said, “Seriously many thanks, things were looking very dodgy. I don’t think they would have stopped us but I’m sure many more would have been killed.” On checking casualties they found that they had five dead, including the two they already knew about and another nine who needed doctor’s care urgently, apart from various flesh wounds. Hoss had taken a bullet in the arm but it was only a graze and he was fine otherwise. Roy tied it up for him and then said that he would leave the injured men with Hoss and take the fit men back to the ranch in case Ben or Adam needed extra help.

Hoss could only agree, he was confidant that the wagons were safe now, they only had eight miles to go. The raiders were too dispirited to try again even if they could manage to evade the miners’ pursuit. Hoss said, “Just tell Adam that we’re fine. I sure hope things are going as well elsewhere.”

Adam was still sitting in the middle of the clearing. He could see Addison in front of him, but Addison had built himself a shelter, in case anyone had succeeded in following Adam. Adam had asked where Carole was but had only been told that there was no point in him worrying about that, he would never see her again. Adam said, “You are going to kill me?” Addison nodded and Adam asked “Why the delay?”

Addison said, “I want you to watch your ranch being destroyed first. That’s why I picked this spot. By morning there will be no ranchhouse, no flume, indeed no Cartwrights. Then I will take over the land and there won’t be anyone to stop me. You will watch the death throes of your precious Ponderosa and then you will join it.”

Adam just sat calmly; he had guessed why he had been brought to that particular spot so Addison wasn’t telling him anything he didn’t already know. Addison was furious, he had expected some reaction but he tried to hide his fury “You’ll change when you see the ranchhouse go up in smoke.”

Adam considered him and almost conversationally said “You must hate me very much and yet she could have been yours, if you had only compromised, she did love you once.” That was too much for Addison who came to his feet and hit Adam hard round the face with his gun butt twice. Adam reeled backwards feeling the blood running down his face but he managed to keep hold of his senses, although he was sure that his cheekbone was broken.

Addison got control of himself and retreated to his seat. Then with delight he saw the fire as the first dynamite hit the sawmill; he pointed it out to Adam. Adam’s heart fell, scared for his father, but he knew the only chance he had was to taunt this man and to do that he had to show he was totally unaffected by whatever happened and he just sat and watched as the mill was destroyed. Then there was a lull, Addison said “That’s just the start of the evening’s entertainment. By this time the ore wagons should be in my hands, all the drivers will be dead. Were any of your family along?”

Adam swallowed hard to make sure that his voice was under control and he sounded almost disinterested “My brother Hoss is with the wagons, but he isn’t dead. I very much doubt that you have control of the wagons. We have them well defended.”

Addison lent forward “How do you know your brother isn’t dead? I sent a considerable force of very experienced men to take over.”

“I can always sense when my family is in trouble and so far they are fine. Anyway we had more than sixty men with those wagons.” Addison was visibly disturbed by that, much to Adam’s delight. Addison knew that if Adam was telling the truth then his men would be outnumbered. He shook his head as though to clear it and then gave a sharp laugh “You must have left everything else bare, did you really think the ore wagons were the only thing I wanted tonight?”

Adam shook his head “You underestimate us. We employ more than 200 hands and 40 or so friends from town have come out to help us.”

Addison was shaken by that but he was quick to come back “Cartwrights only ask volunteers to fight or so they say.”

“True enough but when you hurt Hoss and Joe, you ensured that every man who works for us would volunteer.” Addison had no answer and Adam went on “That is why you will lose. You underestimated our men, when you had Joe beaten and Hoss ambushed every one of the hands began to work twice as hard to help me.”

The two men sat and stared at each other in silence, they were alike in many ways, not least in their love for the same girl, but the principles which Ben had taught his sons and which governed their lives were entirely missing in Addison’s make up. Time passed and then Addison pointed to the flume. From that distance it was spectacular as it wound its way down the mountain. Then as they heard a bang they saw a great section of the flume lift into the air. For a moment it seemed to hang there and then broke up and fell back to earth. A couple of minutes later Adam watched impassively as the other high section was blown up. He knew it would hit the ranch hard but as things stood he was unlikely to live to worry about it and he let no reaction show, although it needed all his control. All he wanted was to go for this man, who sat only a few feet away from him, and had ordered such destruction and caused his brothers such pain but he kept control. The thought of Carole sustained him and he sat impassively as Addison gloated.

Ben was only a mile from his son when he heard the first explosion and saw the flume destroyed. He had no need to hide his feelings and the men with him knew, that if they found the man who had ordered this done, then either he or Ben would be dead before morning. With a muffled curse Ben led the way on, things such as the flume or the sawmill could be replaced, but his son could not.

They soon reached the place where Jamieson was waiting. From there they could actually see Adam and hear the sound of voices, although it was impossible to make out the words. Ben could guess why Addison was waiting, there was only be one reason for bringing Adam to this particular spot where so much of the ranch could be seen, but Ben didn’t dare make a move yet. He could only pray that his eldest son would be able to work something because at the moment anything they did would sign Adam’s death warrant with three guns on him.

Ben sat back and waited, sure that his son would try something when he felt the time was right and Ben could only be there to back his move. Five minutes later José and his men rode in and José was very glad to find Ben there, it took the responsibility from his shoulders. José very quietly filled in what news he could, having to tell his Boss that the house was under attack but that they were coping so far. He reassured Ben that Joe was being sensible and remaining in bed, although in a way that worried Ben. Ben had half expected Joe to try and reach his brother, despite his weakness, and knew that his son must be even weaker than he had thought, because under the circumstances he placed no reliance on Joe’s sense to keep him in bed.

Adam would have been glad to know for sure that his father was close at hand but he would have been very surprised if there was nobody waiting out in the night. He knew that he had to arrange a chance for them to help, but he was banking heavily on help being nearby.

At the house two men had finally worked their way round to the outhouse and scrambled up on the roof. From there it was an easy job to lob a stick of dynamite through the window of Adam’s room. They waited for the dynamite to explode and followed up with several fire arrows through. Little Joe was nearly thrown out of bed by the explosion in the room next door and hurriedly got up and went through the connecting door into Adam’s room. Utter chaos met his eye, the bed was burning fiercely and everything in one corner was thrown around. He yelled for Beth to send some men up and then began to drag some of his brother’s favourite possessions from the room. He had got Adam’s guitar and model ship over to his father’s room and was just dragging his brother’s desk with all his personal papers into Ben’s room when the men reached him. Joe organised them into a bucket squad via his room to fight the fire and with one man carried on taking armfuls of books clothes, anything he could move, to safety. For nearly half an hour the two men moved Adam’s possessions while the others fought the fire. They managed to prevent it spreading outwards but the roof was still on fire, Eventually Joe collapsed on the landing and two of the men carried him downstairs. Beth had no idea where Joe had found the energy he had, but somehow he had kept going while he saved his brother’s things. It was an act of faith that his brother would be saved and would still need them, but with those safe he was almost out on his feet. Joe hung onto the last shreds of consciousness while the men fought the blaze and José’s men threw back the men attacking the ranch to keep the fire fighters safe.

Beth sat by Joe feeding him a little water as he lay on the sofa fighting to retain his senses. She knew how weak he still was and couldn’t imagine how he had done all he had. Then Roy arrived back from town with about twenty men. He attacked from the rear and caught between him and the defenders of the house, the gunmen decided that they had had enough and began giving up. Roy took charge and had half his men guard the gunmen and everyone else fought the blaze, which was quickly brought under control. When Kirk came in to tell Joe that the fire was out, with Adam’s room gutted and some damage to the roof but the rest intact. Joe tried to say thank you, but he finally gave way to the lure of oblivion, totally exhausted and passed out before he could really say what he wanted.

The fire had been seen by Addison and he pointed out to Adam The glow in the sky from the fire at the sawmill was obvious but now it was joined by the fire at the house. Adam was completely impassive as Addison delighted in telling him that he had ordered the fire started in Adam’s own room, all his personal possessions would be destroyed. Adam just shrugged “As you intend to kill me it hardly matters.”

Ben had also seen the flames at the house. He was deeply hurt as he saw his home of so many memories go up in smoke but for now it didn’t seem very important. He prayed that his youngest son was safe, but otherwise his whole mind and will were bent on finding a way to save his eldest son.

For half an hour Adam sat silently watching the flames at the house and at the mill. He was careful to hide all emotion and he had always been good at concealing his feelings. Then he suddenly realised that the fire at the house was dying down and the house still stood, At the same time he saw the glow from the sawmill fade away. At the mill Johnny had brought his party back. They had already had one run in with the gunmen but hadn’t been expecting trouble from that particular direction and had been driven off. When they saw the flume destroyed and knew that their bonuses were in jeopardy and knowing that they had let the men through, they attacked furiously. Within five minutes twelve of the twenty men who had just destroyed the flume were dead or injured badly enough to be unable to ride and the remaining eight fled. Then Johnny launched his men at the rear of those attacking the mill. He had the cover of the trees and Jack Catfish, realising what was happening took all his men, even those who had been fire fighting, back up to the ruins of the mill. The gunmen were trapped in the open between two fires and it didn’t take long for them to realise it and begin throwing down their guns and begging for mercy. Jack left Johnny to deal with the prisoners and put everyone else on to fighting the fire, which they quickly brought under control.

Adam saw the effects of his men’s efforts and he began to taunt Addison. Time had come to make his move and try to give whoever was out there a chance to save him. Somehow he needed to get Addison close to him again and this time he would be ready. He wanted to make Addison lose control again. Adam stood up despite the menacing guns on him and pointed to the sky “You’ve lost Addison. By now the ore will be at the stamp mills, the fire at the mill is out and the house still stands. You’ve lost and you’re a fugitive with a price on your head, whether you kill me or not. Your grandiose plans have failed.”

Addison knew he was right, the Ponderosa was still standing, maybe battered but nothing that couldn’t be dealt with in a few months, but he was still determined to hurt Adam. He hit out in the one way that was left to him and yelled at Adam, clearly enough for all the waiting men to hear. “Maybe you’re right, the Ponderosa is still yours, but Carole isn’t, she’s dead.”

Ben hearing them was moving forward without even thinking as Adam, with one wordless cry, launched himself at Addison. In that moment he was past thought, all he knew was the urge to kill this man, who had injured his brothers, damaged his ranch and now taunted him with the death of the love he had found after so long. Addison had guessed the result of his words and he had his gun raised and as Adam moved Addison shot him. That shot released all the waiting men and as Adam fell a fusillade of shots rang out. Addison fell by Adam and the other two men in the bushes were killed. It was all over within seconds and Ben ran, cold with dread, to his eldest son. Adam had taken one bullet in the abdomen and was unconscious but alive. Ben barely gave a glance to the body of the man he had never met who had caused all this carnage just out of revenge. Addison has been hit by at least eight bullets and must have been dead before he hit the ground.

Ben did his best to stem the flow of blood from the wound. He knew it would be touch and go, the bullet was still in and all he could do was get Adam back to the ranch and pray he would last until the doctor reached them. He sent José straight to town to get Doc, sure that his son wouldn’t be the only one injured after this night’s events. Ben got one of the men to hand his son’s inert body up to him, once he was mounted, and then let Jamieson lead Buck back to the ranch, while he concentrated all his efforts on holding his son still and trying to warm him up. He told the others to bring in the three dead bodies and then they moved out. Ben was all too aware that it could prove fatal to move Adam but equally to let him stay where he was would be deadly, he needed a doctor as fast as possible.

At the ranch Beth and Kirk were trying to get some order inside, while Roy dealt with the prisoners. They had got Joe to bed in one of the guestrooms, as his own room was sodden. They tried to pile Adam’s belongings neatly in Ben’s room, where Joe had dumped them and prayed that Adam would need them again. They hadn’t sustained many casualties, fighting from the cover of the house and had no dead, but two were seriously enough wounded to need to go to bed. Beth guessed that worse would be arriving and she got Kirk to organise the smaller bunkhouse as a hospital. Beth did what she could for the two injured men, neither of whom were very seriously hurt, and had just got back inside when Dan arrived from the sawmill. Dan warned them that a party of injured was on their way down from the mill. Johnny’s gang had had one killed and had four seriously hurt while Jack Catfish had lost two men to dynamite and had another three shot and one badly burnt. Beth got beds made up for the eight casualties and wondered how Hoss had got on. She guessed that he would take any casualties into the hospital in town. Then they could only wait and pray that none of the Cartwrights were amongst the injured.

Hoss had reached town about an hour earlier and Doc had already seen to the nine injured men, only one was in danger with a bullet through the lung. The rest should be alright barring infection and he left them with two nuns who were nursing sisters, saying that he would be back later. Doc had done all he could for now and he knew that he would more than likely be needed out at the Ponderosa. Hoss very worried about his family, insisted on riding along, despite his leg which was aching fiercely. Hoss had taken the chance to pop in the schoolhouse, seeing the light on. Hoss told her all he knew, not that it helped Carole much but she knew that there was a strong probability that things were settled one way or another. Hoss promised to send word as soon as he knew, if Adam hadn’t already done so. Carole had admitted to Hoss that Addison had scared her and she had let slip that the Cartwrights knew he was behind things but it seemed strangely irrelevant now.

Hoss and the Doctor arrived at the ranch shortly before Ben’s cavalcade. Beth quickly directed Doc to the wounded, the other eight had arrived at the ranch and been put to bed. Then she had the task of breaking it to Hoss about the trap his eldest brother had walked in to, She told him about the note and was very surprised at his reaction as he burst out “The fool!” As Beth looked at him in near shock Hoss explained that he had seen Carole in town, she was fine and hadn’t been in any trouble, although Addison had sacred her a little.

Beth sighed heavily “The note must have been a forgery.”

Hoss nodded “Yeah and Adam fell for it.” Beth told him that both his father and José had goner after Adam and that they knew where to find him, but otherwise she had no news. Hoss was thoroughly scared for his brother, but all he could do was wait. He looked at the damaged house and Beth told him what had happened and what Joe had done. Hoss went up to check on his little brother, but Joe was fast asleep.

Beth said, “I don’t think he has done himself any real harm, he was just exhausted. He wouldn’t rest until all Adam’s things were safe.”

Hoss lent over to tuck the blanket tighter round his little brother “I can understand why, sort of ensure Adam got back home too. Sure hope it works little brother.” Then he left Joe to sleep while he went to look at the damage. The room was gutted but as far as Hoss could tell only one bookcase was destroyed and the bed. The rest of Adam’s belonging were safe. The books that they had lost were mainly Charles Dickens and Hoss knew that if he wrote to Dickens, he would get replacements for his friend. Hoss stood staring at the mess praying that Adam wasn’t dead and Joe’s efforts in vain. Then as he stared out of the window he saw Ben riding in with Adam in his arms. Hoss hurried downstairs and out to his father, limping heavily after all the extra work on his leg.

Roy and Dan had taken Adam from his father and Ben was stiffly dismounting. Dan asked “What room do you want him in, his own is gutted.”

“Put him in mine. I’ll be up in a minute.”

Beth had hurried out too and said, “Doc’s in the bunkhouse I’ll go and tell him.”

Ben turned to Hoss, who forced a smile for his father “I’m fine Pa and Joe’s asleep, he’s okay. How bad is Adam?”

Ben said bleakly “Bad. The bullet is still in.” Then as Doc came over, Ben led the way up to his eldest son. Dan and Roy had laid Adam down on the bed and cut away his trousers from the wound. It was still bleeding sluggishly and Doc washed his hands and made a quick examination. After a minute he straightened up and looked at Ben and Hoss “He’s haemorrhaging badly, that bullet has to come out or he will be dead in an hour. The trouble is I may kill him trying to get it, its deep resting close to the spine.”

Ben looked at his big son and Hoss nodded so Ben said “Try, you’ve got to try.”
Doc washed up again and got his implements out, then with Dan and Hoss help he tied Adam down to the bed, he didn’t dare let his patient move while he was probing for the bullet. For over an hour Ben and Hoss stood watching not speaking but eventually Doc stood up with the bullet in his hand. He repaired the damage as best he could, but Adam was in a deep coma.

Ben couldn’t help notice the deep pessimism so obvious on Doc’s face as he said, “It’s up to God, Adam’s constitution and his will to live. The bullet is out and I’ve done all I can but it’s still long odds against him surviving. If he can make it thorough the next forty eight hours without infection then he has a fair chance, but those hours are going to be critical.”

Ben stared down at his son as Doc headed back to the bunkhouse; Ben and Hoss could do all that was possible to help Adam now. Ben sighed heavily “I’m scared his will to live won’t be very strong.”

Hoss was surprised at that “Why not, I’m sure it’s the only thing that has kept him alive before.”

“I know that’s why I’m so scared now. But with Carole dead…” Hoss interrupted his father “Carole ain’t dead she’s fine. I saw her in town just before I came home. She had dinner with Addison and he scared her some, so she let out that we knew about him, but he didn’t hurt her, That note was a forgery.”

Ben stared at his big son for a moment “Addison told Adam that she was dead, Adam lost control and went for him, that was when he was shot.”

“I guess it was the only way he could think of to hurt Adam.”

Ben studied his eldest son so very pale and deathly still “It doesn’t help unless we can get that fact through to him. It might be just enough to tip the balance. We need Carole out here.”

“I’ll ride into town and fetch her “ Hoss volunteered but his father vetoed that “No Hoss your leg won’t take much more. I ought to see the injured men in town anyway. You stay with your brother. I’ll go.”

Ben was loath to leave his son while he was so ill but knew that the knowledge that Carole was well would give his son the will to live. Otherwise he was scared Adam would just not make a fight of it, having as he thought, had the love he’d looked for so long snatched away. He knew that one of the others would have gone but felt it was only right that one of the family should break the news to Carole. He asked Kirk to saddle him a fresh horse and tried to get clear just how many casualties they had sustained that night. Hoss had to tell him that five men had died with the ore wagons with nine injured, one very seriously. Ben went into the bunkhouse to find ten injured men, two of them critical and Dan who was helping Doc, broke it to him that another three men had been killed up by the sawmill. Ben was horrified the night had left 8 men dead four including his own son maybe dying and sixteen badly hurt, plus minor injuries being dealt with by the men themselves. That was without even thinking about the casualties amongst the gunmen who had been brought in. All because one man was jealous and Ben was just glad that Addison was dead, or he wouldn’t have been able to trust himself. In a way Ben was glad to be alone on the way to town to try and assimilate what had happened over this bloody night. He still hadn’t really accepted the toll of death and destruction; it all seemed unreal, when all too soon he reached town. His thoughts were in turmoil and he just didn’t know how to break the news to Carole.

Ben knocked at the schoolhouse door, and even though it was four in the morning Carole was still up and dressed. She ran to open the door and taking one look at Ben’s face, her hand flew to her mouth “Adam’s dead.”

Ben shook his head and put his arm round her “Not yet but he’s very badly hurt. He needs you. He’s been shot and he was told that you are dead.”

Carole poured out two large brandies and passed one to Ben “I don’t understand.”

Ben told her about the forged letter, which had trapped Adam and Addison’s claim before he was shot. Carole asked “Addison is dead?”

Ben nodded and then he said “We need you if Adam is to live, he’s got to have the will to fight. He needs to know that you are alive and well.”

Carole nodded “Give me five minutes to pack a few things.” She hurried upstairs and efficiently packed her things. Ben had a horse ready for her and she was mounted within ten minutes. She felt as though she was standing outside herself and was surprised at her own calm and efficiency. Ben was surprised too, but he guessed that although she had taken in his words, she wasn’t allowing herself to feel the meaning behind them.

Both of them were lost in their own thoughts and it didn’t seem to take any time before the ranch was in view. Carole saw the blackened roof and the sign of physical damage seemed to bring home to her for the first time what Ben had told her. The tears began to flow but she brushed them angrily away and assured Ben that she was fine as he led her upstairs to his son, praying that Adam still lived.

Adam was still in a coma and hadn’t apparently stirred from when Ben left him. He was very pale under the tan, even his lips apparently bloodless, a grey tinge to his skin and so very still. To Ben he looked so very young and vulnerable. Hoss had been sitting with his brother and he confirmed “He ain’t stirred Pa.”

Carole sat down next to him gently pushing Adam’s hair back from his forehead, his skin felt cold and clammy to the touch and if it hadn’t been for the slight rise and fall of his chest, she could have believed him dead. She tried talking to him trying to remind Adam of all their plans, but her voice choked up and the tears streamed down her face, as she realised that he was too deeply unconscious for anything she said to reach him. Still she got a grip on herself, Adam was strong she wouldn’t let him give up, maybe at some level he could hear her. It was the only thing she could do that might possibly help and wiping her face almost angrily, she sat back tightened her grip on his hand and continued to talk.

Hoss looked at his father in some concern, Ben looked ready to drop and Hoss gripped his arm “Carole will look after Adam for a few minutes. You look as though you need a drink and some grub. Please come downstairs for a few minutes.”

Ben was about to refuse but seeing the deep concern clear on Hoss’ face he gave way. He had placed so much reliance on Carole, desperately hoping that her presence would somehow reach his son and give Adam the will to live but for now it just wasn’t working. With one final look at the still body in the bed Ben let Hoss lead him out. He knew what it was like to fear for the life of one of his sons, indeed he knew all too well what it meant to lose a loved one, but death had never seemed closer than it was in his room just now.

In the corridor he pulled away from Hoss “I just need to check on Joseph and I’ll be down.”

Hoss went on downstairs to get coffee and whisky ready and to get Hop Sing to prepare some food; sure his father needed to eat. Doc was sitting by the fireplace and after a quick word with Hop Sing, Hoss brought a drink over to the Doc who looked absolutely exhausted. He handed the older man a drink and then turned to stare into the fire “Is Adam gonna make it?”

Doc could see the tension in every line of the big man’s body but he couldn’t give him the reassurance that Hoss was seeking. “I’m not God Hoss, you know as much as I do. Most men would have succumbed to that wound long before I even got here. Adam didn’t and he has survived the operation. His chances now are at least ten times higher than they were before I operated. I have watched Adam recover before from wounds that I thought would kill him and at least this time he started out fit.”

Hoss couldn’t help thinking that ten times no chance still didn’t amount to a hill of beans, but he pushed the thought away. Adam wasn’t a statistic, this was his strong elder brother, if only they could make him fight then Adam would win through. On that thought he turned back to face Doc “Adam’s mighty deeply out. Could you bring him out of it, enough to recognise someone?”

Doc was puzzled “Coma is nature’s way of concentrating all resources on healing the body, for now it’s probably the best thing for him. It’s not been very long, in a day or so if he’s still not coming round then maybe it’s time to worry but not yet.”

“Doc you said it was up to Adam’s will to live and we’re sorta scared he won’t care at the minute.” Doc looked very puzzled at that and Hoss went on “My brother walked into a trap deliberately, because he thought it was the only way to save Carole’s life, and he was told she was dead just before he was shot.”

Doc thought about that “She’s fine and here but that doesn’t help until Adam knows.”

“You got it Doc. Pa reckoned it might just tip the balance, but it ain’t working yet.”

“Why tell him that she was dead?”

Hoss explained briefly about Addison and the Doc was furious “It’s a good thing he’s dead, so many people killed and injured just because he was a bad loser.” For now Hoss didn’t care about that, all his thoughts were with his brother “What about Adam can you bring him out of it?”

“I’m not sure Hoss, we could try some sal volatile. I have some concentrate in my bag. It might work. Be safer to leave him to come out of it of his own accord. Any sudden moves just now might cause damage, I had a hell of a job doing repairs and I didn’t dare spend any more time over them. If he starts bleeding internally again it’ll kill him. If he doesn’t come out of it, we’ll see what your father thinks.”

Hoss had to accept that but still so very scared he downed his drink and went over to pour himself another one.

Upstairs Ben had found Joe fast asleep, and he made no attempt to wake his youngest son. Beth had told him about Joe’s efforts and he could guess why it had seemed so important to Joe to save his brother’s belongings. He tucked the bedclothes around his son’s back and left him to sleep and then went downstairs. He was grateful for the drink, but despite Hoss’ protest, Ben headed over to the bunkhouse to see the other men, who had been wounded. One man, who had lost his arm, died while he was there, but the others seemed very cheerful. They all wanted to know how Adam was and what had been happening elsewhere round the ranch. Ben did his best to sound positive and made sure that they had all that they needed, before heading back to the house.

To keep his big son quiet Ben forced down some food but he had no idea what he had eaten and as soon as he had coffee, he took it with him, and went back to join Carole by Adam’s bedside. Carole was still holding his hand but as she turned to look at Ben the despair was obvious on her face, as tears trickled slowly down her cheeks “His pulse is weaker, he’s just slipping away.”

Ben checked for himself and found she was right and he went back to the stairs and yelled for Doc. Doc and Hoss both hurried up to join him, Ben showed utter despair “He’s just not fighting.”

Doc checked for himself and then sat back “Hoss explained how Adam was hurt. I can try to bring him round with some concentrated smelling salts. I don’t even know if it’ll work but if it does he may move rather suddenly. That could break open something inside again and if it does that will kill him. There is a risk, but at the moment I wouldn’t give much for his chances.”

Ben looked questioningly at Carole, she had as much at risk as he did and she nodded so he told Doc to at least try. Doc warned the others to stay back or the ammonia would affect then too and Carole held her hanky over her nose as Doc waved the smelling salts under Adam’s nose. For a moment there was no reaction and then Adam began coughing and his eyes opened. Carole ignored the ammonia and lent forward “Adam darling, I’m here my love I’m fine.”

Adam frowned but they all heard him murmur “Carole.” She kissed his forehead and again said “I’m here, I’m fine.” But Adam had slipped back into unconsciousness. Ben looked at the Doc who said “He’s not so deeply out now, but whether he realised or not I don’t know.”

Carole went to move but as she did so Adam’s grip tightened on her hand, she looked up a gleam of hope in her eye “He won’t let me go.”

Ben gave a sigh of relief “He knows you’re here. He’ll fight now.”

Carole looked round questioningly at Doc who said “I don’t know but he has always been a good fighter, he has a chance.” He checked his patient but everything seemed to be fine and Adam’s pulse was noticeably stronger. Carole settled down next to Adam, the grip of his hand seemed to be testimony that he would hold onto life, the way he was holding onto her. She promised to call the minute there was any change and the others left her alone.

Downstairs Doc ordered both Ben and Hoss to sit down, they had both had one hell of a night and he wasn’t quite sure how Hoss had got through without breaking his leg wound open. Doc said “I really don’t want to worry you anymore but I think you need to know some basic facts.”

Ben and Hoss stared at each other and Ben nodded “Go on Paul.”

“Adam is a fighter. If he makes the next forty-eight hours I think he will live. Knowing Adam I’d give him a good chance now, his pulse is much stronger, but then you are going to have to face possible problems. There was some damage to his intestine. I managed to repair it and I don’t think there was any leakage, so I’m hopeful that we have avoided peritonitis, but I’m worried that there will be some trouble with food for a while. You overcame that before when he took that bullet in the gut from Cochise and hopefully this time it won’t be so bad, but you can expect problems for a couple of weeks.”

Doc looked at the two worried men in front of him and wondered if he should carry on, but they had to know sometime. He went on “The other problem is where the bullet ended up. It was resting very close to the spine. I couldn’t see any real damage but it seems to have stunned the nerves, there is no reaction in his legs.”

Ben buried his face in his hands “Not again.” Hoss moved over next to his father and put his arm round Ben’s shoulders, for mutual comfort. He looked up at the Doc, who went on, “I don’t know the extent of the damage, but when he’s stronger in a few days, we’ll be able to tell better.”

Ben nodded and then pulling away from Hoss he went to stare out of the window. Paul beckoned Hoss over “Your father is nearly out on his feet. Slip him a sleeping powder, he must get some rest.”

Hoss nodded and went to see Hop Sing, ten minutes later he gave Ben some coffee and within quarter of an hour Ben was asleep and Hoss got Dan to help him carry Ben up to Hoss’ room and put him to bed.

Everything was still chaotic outside and Hoss went out to find Roy. Roy wanted to know what to do with all the prisoners. Dawn was breaking and the hands were still milling around exchanging stories. Hoss got Kirk and the bunkhouse cook to help Hop Sing to get started on cooking breakfast for the men, most of whom had been keeping going on coffee and whisky.

Roy had some fifty odd prisoners, being guarded mainly by José and his vaqueros; several of them had been hurt and Doc had been busy doing what he could for them. Three couldn’t be moved and Hoss had them taken to the bunkhouse. Roy said that he would take the rest into town and hold them for twenty-four hours while he checked them out. Then unless Ben wanted otherwise he would let them go on orders to get out of the state. He would rather let them go his way, under threat if they return, than leave a Judge to let them go without even a slap on the wrist. Hoss nodded, he didn’t really care, the one who had started all this was dead, the rest just hired guns didn’t matter. Anyway there weren’t the facilities in Virginia City to hold that number of men for any length of time.

The friends from town, who had come out to help, were going to help Roy take the prisoners in and Hoss moved round them to thank as many of them as he could and check what damage they had sustained. Two of the group who had ridden out would not be going back. One a good friend of Joe’s had been killed at the sawmill and the other Hoss already knew about one of his own friends had been killed with the ore wagons. One other was in town injured but the others were unscathed or at worst had minor injuries. They were all glad that the Ponderosa was intact and Hoss was able to give a reasonably optimistic report on Adam.

When the party for town finally left, nearly a hundred men, the yard began to look more orderly. Knowing the Cartwrights and their crew had their work cut out to pick up the pieces, the town party didn’t wait to be fed. They would eat in town.

Hoss arranged the men into groups and sent the first lot to be fed. He called Johnny, Jack Catfish and José together. “Pa is asleep and Adam and Joe are out of action, so I guess it’s up to me to start sorting things out. We need a damage report. Normally Adam would check out the flume and for that matter the house. He’s the engineer but he’ll be out of it for at least a month or so.” Hoss bit his lip, praying that his brother would recover that quickly, but he pushed the thought away and tried to concentrate on the present “We still got contracts to meet. Jack can you get an estimate on how much we’ve lost at the sawmill and how long it’s gonna take to get it going again. Get some sleep first but let me know as soon as you can.”

Jack nodded “I don’t think we lost too much wood but it’ll take several weeks to get working again. Still the main saws are safe.”

Hoss nodded “I’ll get up tomorrow somehow, and we can talk over just what you’ll need. He turned to Johnny “The lumber camp weren’t touched was it?”

“Nope but the flume’s badly damaged.”

Hoss nodded “Yeah well I ain’t no engineer but I helped build it. I’ll check it over but I guess we have to plan on moving lumber down the hard way again. You’ll need extra men, horses, and equipment. Can you try and draw up a list of what you’ll need.”

“Sure Hoss but the price was based on using the flume, it’ll cost a hell of a lot more.

“I know that but Pa will still want to meet our contracts. We’ll have to take the loss.” Hoss turned finally to José “We’re gonna have to cut your crew to the minimum, there’s the house to repair as well, let me know just who you can spare.” For once José didn’t argue but just nodded and taking Hoss by the arm he said, “We’ll get things started. You go eat.”

Hoss said “Sure but..”

“No buts, Hoss sit down before you fall down” and he led his friend back into the house.

Roy reached town with his prisoners to find the miners from the Hale and Norcross limping back in small groups, several of them nursing wounds although none of them seemed too serious. They hadn’t brought in any prisoners and Roy didn’t enquire too closely into the happenings of that chase. Noone was ever sure just how many men did die that night.

At the house Ben woke up soon after eleven and the five hours sleep he’d had made him feel much more capable of coping. He headed straight in to check on Adam and found Carole still sitting by him. She looked up in some concern “He hasn’t moved and he still won’t let me go but his temperature is going up.”

Ben checked for himself and his son’s forehead felt very warm He tried to reassure her “Probably inevitable but I’ll see if Doc is still here, get him to check.”

Ben went downstairs, badly needing some coffee anyway. He found Hoss busy organising the men back into their normal squads and sending them back to their usual workplaces. He had made it clear that he didn’t expect any work to be done that day, they were all short a night’s sleep, but the ranch wasn’t designed to accommodate all the hands at the house.

Ben came over and said, “Have you had any sleep?”

Hoss shook his head “José made sure I got fed. I’m okay I’ll get some sleep later, don’t even feel like it yet. I’ll tell you what I’ve done and you can work out what I’ve missed.”

“Okay but before we get to that, can you tell me if Doc has gone back to town?”

“No he’s over in the bunkhouse.” Panic showed on the big man’s face as he asked anxiously “Is Adam worse?”

“No but he is beginning to run a fever, it was only to be expected but as Doc is still here I’ll get him to have a look.”

“I’ll finish getting the men back to camps and then I’ll join you upstairs.” Ben looked at him “Hoss please don’t overdo things. I f you reopen that wound I’d be the only mobile one.”

“It’s okay Pa just a mite sore. I’m being real careful.” Ben had to be content with that and went out to see Doc. The Doc was with the injured men but he was able to give Ben an optimistic report, even the man with burns was coming out of shock and should be okay. He agreed to see Adam but pointed out that it would be a miracle if he wasn’t feverish. Doc didn’t even mention the possibility of peritonitis, which had sprung to mind, Ben was quite worried enough.

When they went into Adam, he was beginning to thresh around, and Carole was having her work cut out to try and hold him still, scared he might do himself further damage.
Doc quickly pulled the bedclothes back and checked the wound and Adam’s abdomen. To his relief he found no sign of infection or the hardness and tenderness that would have been indicators of peritonitis, and he turned to his patient’s overall condition. On the positive side Adam’s pulse was much stronger and he smiled at the concerned family “Cheer up. This was inevitable. On the positive side he has come out of shock, which is a good sign, his pulse is good and strong. Ben you know as well as I do how to combat fever, alcohol rubs, cold compresses and keep him warm. He’ll need someone with him twenty four hours a day for a while.”

“We’ll cope.” Ben said and then turned to Carole “What about school?”

She looked up “I can’t leave him like this.”

Ben patted her shoulder “I don’t think you would be much use to the children if you did. Doc do you think you could ask Mrs Portman if she would take over for a while? If you explained the circumstances.”

Doc grinned “Sure I can. I know she will do it, she gets bored with her retirement.”

Carole straightened up at that “No I’ll ask her myself. If I am to stay I need clothes and a few other essentials.”

“Okay I’ll get one of the men to drive you into town and bring you back. I’ll stay with my son until you can get back.”

Doc packed his bag “I must get back to town as well. Noone here is in any danger apart from Adam and you know as well as I do what to do for him. I’ll be out in a couple of days and by then he should be conscious and we can tell better the extent of the damage.”

“I know Doc but before you go will you check on Little Joe for me.”

Paul looked round at the piles of books and furniture and said, “I heard about his exploits. It’s amazing the reserves of strength there are in the human body when something happens to allow us to tap into them, I wouldn’t have thought he was capable of walking this far unaided, let alone dragging a desk with him.” Carole looked very puzzled and Ben explained how and why Joe had moved his brother’s possessions. She was very touched, more evidence of the closeness between the brothers that she had seen at Christmas.

Doc said, “I doubt he has done himself any harm but I may as well check him before I go.” Ben took him along to the guestroom where Joe was just stirring. He awoke as his father came in and his first thought was for Adam. Ben smiled at him “Take it easy young man, Adam’s in my room, he’s hurt but he will be alright.”

Joe let out his breath, which he hadn’t even realised he was holding and muttered “Thank God.” He tried to sit up but Doc gently pushed him back onto the pillows. “I just want to have a look at you before I go back to town.” He checked Joe’s head wound and arm and smiled at his young patient “No harm done. If you don’t overdo things, you’ll be out riding by the end of the month. That plaster can come off in another week. Anyway you can sit by your brother and help keep him amused.”

Joe looked suspiciously at them, seeing the deep concern his father couldn’t hide, “Adam is alright?”

Doc patted his shoulder “Adam took a bullet in the gut, but it’s out and he’s come out of shock. He’ll have a miserable few weeks while it heals but, barring complications and luckily none of you seem to have any, we’ll be dancing at his wedding in a couple of months.”

Joe grinned broadly and said, “I’ll be an uncle.”

Paul shook his head sadly “Ben you had better explain the facts of life to this young man. It takes rather more than a wedding to make you an uncle.”

Ben laughed for the first time in days and then said “I’ll get Beth to bring you up some food and tell you all the news, I must see Hoss. We have a fair bit of damage although nothing disastrous.”

“I’m fine Pa, you get on.”

Ben found Hoss with his older brother trying to hold Adam still with one hand while he sponged his face and upper body with a cold cloth. He looked very unconvinced that this change was actually an improvement but Ben reassured him and then helped hold his son while Hoss sponged him down. While they worked Hoss told his father the measures he had taken to assess the damage.

Ben agreed that the first priorities must be to get the sawmill running again and to repair the roof over their own heads. For now they would have to manage without the flume and just accept the loss, still at least with Addison dead they didn’t have to worry about more damage. Ben could only outline priorities and he agreed with all that Hoss had set in motion. They had taken a bad knock but could recover and end the year even with a bit of luck, hopefully the money they had had at the beginning of the year would be enough to cover the losses this year. At one stage the night before it had seemed likely to be a whole lot worse.

Over the next two days Ben and Hoss were kept busy with reports of damage and requests for new equipment flowing in. Philip had stayed on and offered his services as an engineer to check what was required at the flume. As Ben had feared, it was going to be a massive job to repair it. Some nineteen sections had been damaged and as all were in the high areas, they were the most difficult and expensive to replace. Using Adam’s original plans Philip prepared a comprehensive list of what was required but Ben knew they couldn’t even start to get the supplies together until the sawmill was operational. Hoss has a large gang at work rebuilding that but it was slow work.

Carole and Beth split the nursing of Adam, who hadn’t regained consciousness and Joe often spent time sitting by his brother changing the cold compresses. He was rapidly regaining his strength now, but his eyesight wasn’t good enough for him to read or write, so there was little he could do to help. Joe was with Adam on the third evening after he’d been shot, when the fever broke. Joe yelled for his father and Ben scared ran upstairs to find Joe grinning broadly. Ben went to his eldest son to find him in a cold sweat. He gently wiped Adam’s face with a silent prayer of thanks. Then he noticed Carole over by the window. She had been with Adam too and now she was sure he would survive, everything had caught up with her. Ben moved over and turned her to face him “He’ll be alright now, we’re over the worst.” Carole could help the tears coursing down her face and He held her and let her have her cry out on his shoulder. Eventually she lifted her head “I’m sorry.”

“No need it’s a very natural reaction and I’m to be your father, where better to find a shoulder. Now you are going to take some orders as well. I think you need a stiff drink, a hot bath and then bed, in that order. Adam will sleep now for several hours and when he wakes up, that’s when he will need you.”

She smiled tremulously “That sound heavenly.”

Ben patted her shoulder “I’ll go and organise it.” He left her staring down at Adam and Little Joe got up and went over to her “Adam’s a lucky guy. One day I hope someone will look at me like that.”

She turned and impulsively kissed his cheek “I’m sure there will be a woman just for you Joe, one of these days.” Then with a kiss to Adam’s forehead, she headed of for her own room.

In the early hours Beth was sitting with Adam. He was floating midway between awake and asleep and when Carole poked her head in, to see if there was any change he registered her voice. The women were startled to hear him say “She was here, he said she’s dead but she was here.” They both moved up to the bed but he appeared to be fast asleep and when Carole spoke to him he didn’t react. Even so Beth was sure that it wouldn’t be long before he awoke and she went to call Ben

Carole sat up close to the bed and when Adam finally opened his eyes five minutes later it was to see Carole leaning over him. He asked, “You are alive?”

Carole kissed him “Of course I am. I’m fine.” Adam just looked at her and then murmured “I thought you were dead.”

Carole said “I know all about it love, don’t try and talk just rest easy. Your father will be here in a minute. It’s all over and everything is fine. We’ll tell you all about it later.” Adam put his hand out and she gripped it firmly.

Ben came in and smiled down at his son “We were beginning to wonder when you’d wake up. How do you feel?”

Adam frowned “I don’t know.”

Ben lifted his son’s head very slightly and fed him a few sips of a weak brandy and water. Even that slight movement of his body sent pain up from his stomach and Adam groaned. Carole looked very worried, but Ben just held his son still until the pain passed. Then he said, “Do you think you could manage some broth Adam?”

Adam looked up at his father “Where was I hit.”

“In the abdomen.” Adam’s hand slipped down to his side and he felt the thick bandages. Then with vivid memories of the effect of food after the bullet he had taken during the run in with Cochise he said, “I can’t face it Pa.”

“It’s not as bad as it was it was before Adam and you have to eat. You need to get your strength back.”

Adam stirred and again the pain jabbed at him, he restrained the groan but Carole felt him tense and then relax as the pain subsided. Ben just looked at his son and finally Adam said “Alright.” Ben had asked Hop Sing to make up some of the special broth that they had used last time and he had asked for some to be heated up, on hearing that his son was wakening. Hop Sing slipped in the door and passed the small bowl over to Ben.

Ben lifted his son slightly and held Adam against his shoulder. He waited until the pain caused by the movement eased and he felt Adam relax and then he started to spoon feed Adam. Every time he swallowed the pain gripped Adam and he began to feel increasingly sick. Eventually he pushed the spoon away, having taken about half of the bowl. Adam fought against the nausea knowing how much it was going to hurt to be sick but eventually he couldn’t help it. Ben had a bowl ready and supported Adam as he retched and brought back some of the food, unable to bite back the cries of pain until he slumped back into unconsciousness against his father.

Carole was as white as a sheet and she glared at Ben “You expected that.”

Ben nodded “Adam was hit in the stomach once before. I think it was even worse, he was out for five days and not strong enough to talk when he came round. We thought our troubles were over, but for nearly four weeks he couldn’t eat without this happening and we couldn’t get him to eat because he knew it would cause even more pain, which he was too weak to face. Without food he was getting weaker, it was a nightmare. It eventually subsided but Doc warned us that it could happen again. I think Adam knew it, that’s why he said he couldn’t face food, but he did. He’s going to have a painful and miserable few weeks but he will recover. He did before and this isn’t as bad.”

Carole glared at him “How can you make him eat, you saw how much it hurt him.”

“I know but he’s weak, he lost a lot of blood and the only way he is going to recover his strength is with food.”

Carole buried her face in her hands but her common sense exerted itself “I’m sorry. I just hate to see him hurt, but I know you do too.”

Ben went and put an arm round his shoulders and told him what else Doc had said the possibility of paralysis. She was upset, she had thought that the worst would be over once Adam woke up but she knew whatever happened he would need her strength and she loved him far too much to let down.

Ben gripped her shoulders “Try not to worry too much. Doc will be out later today. Let’s wait and hear what he has to say.”

Carole nodded but all her attention was back on the still figure in the bed and Ben sensed that she would rather be alone and went downstairs to get a drink.

Hoss was waiting for him and seeing his father’s face he want and poured a drink. He handed it to Ben and asked, “How is he?”

Ben told him what had happened. Ben had been expecting trouble but with memories of the previous occasion he had hoped that for once Doc would be proved wrong. Hoss tried to be positive “Last time when he came round he couldn’t even speak, it ain’t as bad, he’ll be okay.”

“I know but he’s got a rotten few weeks ahead.” Hoss had no answer for that and they sat in silence for a few minutes until the silence was broken by Little Joe, making his way rather gingerly down the stairs. He had been walking around upstairs for several days but this was the first time he’d come down without help. The extra movement entailed was pulling on the barely healed wound in his groin and he was making heavy weather of it. Hoss rose to go to his aid but Joe waved him away. Joe made the final stair and came over to the fire to sink gratefully into a chair. He sighed heavily “I don’t feel as though I’ll ever ride again, let alone by the end of the month!”

Joe had woken up and was puzzled why everyone was moving around so early, so he had come to investigate. Now he considered his father and brother who both looked very upset and worried and he asked “Is Adam okay?”

Ben nodded “Yes In fact your brother finally woke up this morning.”

“You don’t look very pleased about it?”

Hoss explained about the problem with eating and Joe sighed “Why does it always happen to Adam?”

Hoss shook his head “That’s rich coming from you little brother. It’s nearly a month since you took that beating and you can barely negotiate the stairs.”

Joe shrugged “I’m just a bit sore. Doc does think Adam will make a full recovery doesn’t he?”

Ben could only tell the truth “He’s not sure yet Joseph we don’t know what damage the bullet did to Adam’s spine. He is confident your brother will live but he may have damaged his back.”

Before anyone could answer Carole called down to say that Adam was coming round again. Hoss picked up his little brother and headed upstairs with Ben close behind. When they went in Adam grinned at them and demanded that his big brother help him sit up. Hoss got him part sitting up supported by pillows and they waited for the pain to ease. Adam was doing his level best to hide it, not wanting to worry his family or Carole. It showed in the tautness of the muscles round his mouth and in his eyes but noone said anything. Then for the first time Adam realised that he wasn’t in his own room and he looked round puzzled.

Suddenly he remembered Addison gloating how his room and his possessions would be the first to go when they saw the fire at the house and he swallowed hard before asking his father “Just how badly damaged is the house?”

Ben kept it factual “Your room is gutted and the roof above it is damaged. Joe’s room is rather wet where the men took buckets through but otherwise it’s intact.”

Adam hadn’t cared at the time when Addison had said that all his belonging were gone, it had seemed so unlikely that he would live to care about them. However as he thought of all his beloved books, his college notes, the plans he had drawn so lovingly for the house and the flume, mills, all his personal papers, momentoes of the past, he could easily have cried. He shut his eyes scared his weakness would cause him to break down.

Hoss gently gripped his arm “Adam have another look round Pa’s room.”

Adam opened his eyes and did as his brother asked, suddenly realising that it was far more cluttered than normal and then he recognised his own desk. He looked questioningly at Hoss, who smiled at him “Your room is destroyed but your things ain’t, Joe got nearly everything out. Fur as I could tell one bookcase and the bed are gone. Joe pulled the rest over here.”

Little Joe got his thanks for all his efforts as he saw his brother’s face light up as he looked round and saw all the things that mattered to him. He put out a hand to Joe and Little Joe took it, nothing was said, no words were needed. Adam knew only too well how weak Joe still was and how much it must have cost Joe to preserve all his things.

Carole found the tears back in her eyes as she watched the closeness of the four men was so obvious and she turned towards the window feeling like an outsider.

Adam saw her move and called to her patting the bed, he wanted her close. She came over and he gripped her hand. He smiled at them, still very weak but he was content with everyone he loved near him. Carole realised again that far from resenting her intrusion into their tight family circle, the other three welcomed her and would continue to do so, all the time she made Adam happy.

Adam turned to his father “I’d like some more broth.” Ben nodded, he knew just how much it cost Adam to say that with a smile but the more he fought the faster he would recover. Ben went and collected the broth and then sent the other three, out while he fed his son.

Adam drank most of it and then fought the nausea but eventually he had to give in. As the retching tore at his stomach, he couldn’t restrain a cry of agony but he managed to retain his senses and after a while he won back to control. Ben wiped his face and Adam said, “I’m alright now Pa, but please keep Carole out when I’m eating,”

“She’s going to be your wife, she only wants to help you.”

Adam nodded “I know but if I can’t avoid it, I can yell at you and I won’t do it to her. Sometimes it helps Pa.”

“Alright Son one of us will feed you, but it won’t be for long.”

Adam managed a grin “Of course not.” Little Joe came in then “I’ll stay with Adam Pa. You go and get your breakfast. Hoss is going to bring me up a tray.”

Ben nodded and left his oldest and youngest together. Joe had suffered a lot of pain in the last month and Adam would in the next but Ben could now believe that both would recover and the ranch would be repaired. The cloud which had hung over them all the year was finally lifted and Ben felt his spirits rise. Although he knew there were dark hours ahead, particularly with Adam’s back, he couldn’t help feeling the main battle was won.

Joe and Adam sat quietly not talking until Doc arrived half an hour later. Doc was pleased to hear that Adam was awake and listened carefully to all that Ben could tell him. He wasn’t surprised by the sickness and warned Ben that it might well be a week or ten days before it cleared, once the wound had a chance to start healing. He did his best to reassure both Ben and Carole that the retching, however painful, was most unlikely to cause any further damage now. Hopefully things were beginning to knit together and he would begin to feel better. Ben nodded and then took him up to Adam. The Doc gave him a thorough examination and tested his legs for reaction. There was none and having twice had a bad back Adam was quick to pick up the significance of the tests. Movement caused so much pain that he hadn’t made any attempt to move his legs but he did so now, only to discover that he couldn’t.

Paul knew Adam very well and he could read the expression on his face. He pulled up a chair and explained “The bullet ended up by the spine Adam and I think it has stunned the nerves. I don’t think it was close enough to have caused permanent damage and it’s higher than the injury you had before. That seems to have held firm. I can’t guarantee anything but I think the effect will only be temporary. There seems to be more reaction now than when I first checked and that’s only over three days.”

Adam asked “How long?”

Doc shook his head “You know better than that Adam. It depends on so many things, not least your will power, but I think in another week I should be able to give you a more definite prognosis.”

Adam nodded and Paul helped him settle back down. Adam looked up at his father “I think I want to get some sleep. Leave me alone will you.”

Ben wasn’t too happy leaving his son but he could understand Adam’s need to be on his own to accept this extra blow and he signalled Joe to come out.

Adam lay staring at the ceiling cursing fate. Things seemed to have come full circle and he couldn’t help remembering his accident before when he’d been engaged. He lay there thinking in circles for over an hour before his physical weakness released him into sleep.

For the next week Carole nursed Adam with help mainly from Beth and little Joe. But when it came to time to feed him Ben took time from his work and fed his son. For the first five days Adam was sick within ten to fifteen minutes of each meal. He often lost hold of his senses and couldn’t always restrain the groans. He began to dread the sight of his father entering the room with a tray. The rest of the time provided he didn’t move the pain was just a dull ache and he could almost forget it as Carole sat and chatted with him. On the sixth day it was over half an hour before the nausea overcame him. Ben held his son as Adam recovered from it “It’s getting better son.”

Adam nodded weakly, he felt as though someone was boring holes in him with a red hot poker but he knew what his father meant.

Little Joe came in and he helped his father remake the bed. Joe was very much stronger and fitter and was badgering Ben to let him go for a ride but Ben insisted he was to wait to see Doc, who was due the following day. Joe still got severe headaches if he tried to read to write much and Ben knew Joe was restless. Joe spent a lot of time with Adam but with so much to do around the ranch he wanted to help.

Hoss was staying up at the sawmill and provided the supplies arrived on time hoped to have it operational in ten days, but with the flume out of action it would be virtually impossible to meet their timber contracts on time. Ben tried not to let Adam see how worried he was and had minimised the extent of the damage when talking to his son, but he didn’t think Adam was fooled.

Adam was getting more and more worried by the lack of feeling in his legs and was dreading Doc’s return. He had successfully hidden his feelings from Ben and Carole, but that evening Little Joe was sitting by him and as though reading his brother’s mind Joe suddenly said, “You will walk again Adam.” That statement seemed to have come out of the blue and Adam started at the words. The sudden movement caused a sharp stab of pain and unprepared he cried out. Joe lent forward and held his brother still “I’m sorry I didn’t realise you were so far away. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just caught me by surprise. Why did you say that?”

“You’ve been worrying yourself sick over what Doc is going to say tomorrow.” Adam studied his little brother intently and then grinned wryly “I thought I’d succeeded in hiding that.”

“I know you very well brother. You’ve been very good with Pa and Carole but the mask has slipped occasionally in front of me. But the point is Adam that there is more reaction in your legs than there was a week ago. When you started just now your legs moved. I’m no expert but this is the third time you’ve been like this and I know the signs, so don’t worry.”

Adam stared at his legs and tried all he could to move them but nothing happened and he looked disbelievingly at Joe. Little Joe told him to try again and he put his hand round his brother’s calf. Adam tried but the pain in his stomach caught him and he moaned. Little Joe gave him a sip of water and asked anxiously “Are you okay?”

Adam nodded and Joe smiled at him “When you try to move I can feel that calf muscle tightening. If I help you to sit up and you try again, then you can feel it for yourself."

“Alright” and Adam let Joe help him to sit right up, for the first time but it was too much and the pain was so severe that he fell sideways against Joe in a sudden sweat. Little Joe scared he had overdone it, helped Adam to lie down and wiped his face. Even Adam’s lips were white, almost blue and Joe scared said “I’ll call Pa” but Adam gripped his arm “No give me a minute”

Anxiously Joe waited and slowly the blue tinge faded and Adam managed to relax “No harm done Joe, but I’m tired I think I’ll sleep now.”

“You do believe me?”

“Sure I do Joe, don’t fuss.” Then he closed his eyes and within seconds he was asleep.

The following day Doc confirmed Joe’s opinion, there was much more reaction and he was sure no permanent damage would result. However he told Adam that he needed to start doing some exercises, the same ones that he was well familiar with from before. Adam hated the thought, he knew that it would bring on the pain in his stomach. Doc threw everyone else and sat down by Adam “Right Adam I know that it will hurt but it is important if you want to get better.”

Adam forced a grin “I know Doc and with Carole and my family I won’t be allowed to forget any.”

“I know that Adam but you are the only one who knows just how much it is hurting. It is just as dangerous to do too much as to do too little. I want you to try but if the pain is bad then you stop.”

“I’ll be careful Doc.”

Paul accepted that and then plumped up Adam’s pillows and, knowing that the examination had hurt him, he told his patient to get some sleep.

Paul went downstairs and joined Adam’s family and Carole for coffee. Even Hoss was there, he’d come back from the sawmill to collect supplies and check on his brother. Doc warned them that Adam was going to be in considerable pain once he started doing the exercises and that he was under considerable strain already with the problem in eating. It wouldn’t take much for Adam to take the easy way out and give up fighting. Joe looked at him in near disbelief “Adam never gives up.”

Doc smiled “I know Joe but it won’t take much to upset him just at the moment and it could set him back months. All I’m saying is protect him from any knocks. You know the procedures as well as I do, don’t let him overdo things either, that could be equally harmful.” Then he turned to Joe “ Come on Little Joe lets have a look at you. Maybe that plaster can come off.” Joe grinned broadly and followed the Doctor upstairs. Ben went up as well to see what Doc had to say.

Carole was scared by what Doc had said and she sat staring into the fire. Hoss moved over to stand behind her “Don’t look so worried Adam will be fine, he knows what to expect.”

“I know that Hoss but Joe said this was the third time, how often is it going to happen?”

Hoss sighed heavily but then he said, “You know each one was under exceptional circumstances. Once he was caught in a cave-in and trapped by heavy beams, the second time he fell twenty feet from a roof and this time a bullet by his spine. It doesn’t just recur. He’s taken plenty of falls from horses and not been affected. Adam’s as tough as they come. We’ve all seen him survive injuries and circumstances, which would have killed most men. He’s as strong as a horse, in some ways stronger than I am and he’ll be up on his feet in a month or so. Getting ready to celebrate his wedding.”

Carole knew that Adam’s family should be in the best position to judge and all of them, including Adam and the Doc seemed optimistic but she couldn’t help worrying. She was marrying Adam and as far as she was concerned, he was a better man in a wheelchair than most whole men were, but she knew he wouldn’t see it that way.

Doc examined Joe’s arm and hand and then with Ben’s help he cut the plaster off. The arm was very weak form lack of use and Little Joe had a nasty plaster cut on his wrist but he flexed his hand under Doc’s critical eye. Doc checked it once more asking Joe to grip his hand and then said “It will be fine Joe, you must exercise it carefully give those muscles a chance to recover.” Joe now only had the dark glasses as reminders of his beating. The marks of it had faded from his face although they were still apparent on his body. The Doc made him strip and made a thorough examination. He said, “I can pass you fit now. You can ride if you want to but don’t overdo it. It will still be a couple of months before you have fully regained your strength.”

Little Joe was pleased and Ben left him to get dressed and went back downstairs with Doc. Paul smiled at him “Look I know that Joe is still weaker than he will admit but all you can do is to make sure someone rides with him for now. For Joe he has been very patient and even if he overdoes it now, I don’t think he’ll do any real harm”

Ben was pleased with the reports on both his sons; it seemed that the worse effects of Addison’s attack would have disappeared relatively soon. Ben asked Hoss to go and saddle Cochise for his brother and take him out for a ride as he was passed fit. Hoss was delighted with the news, but he reminded Ben that Cochise was very frisky, he’d had little exercise lately. Ben grinned “I know that, but do you think you’ll persuade Joe not to take Cochise out?” Hoss had to admit that he wouldn’t be able to stop his brother.

Joe came downstairs shortly after Doc and said almost defiantly “I’m going for a ride.” He expected arguments and was surprised when his father said “Hoss is saddling Cochise for you but I want you to promise to stay with your brother. You are still weak, as you well know."

Little Joe grinned “I promise Pa” and then he went out to join his brother. Hoss already had the horses saddled and as Joe came out he gave his little brother a leg up although Joe insisted he could have managed to mount unaided. As soon as he settled in the saddle Joe found he had his hands full as Cochise, fresh and eager, sidled away. Hoss led the way out keeping to a walk but Cochise danced alongside and Joe quickly found that the wounds in his groin were still pretty tender although he wasn’t going to admit it.

Ben tried to settle to work but even though Hoss was with Joe, he soon realised that he wasn’t going to get anything done until they got back. Carole was up with Adam and he was about to go up and join them when he heard a horse come in. Ben went to the door and was very surprised to see his nephew come round the hitch rail. Will hadn’t been back to the Ponderosa since the day Adam regained his feet, and he and Laura left. Although Ben himself had seen Will in Frisco and occasionally both Hoss and Joe had seen him, Ben didn’t think that Adam and Will had met since that day. Ben asked his nephew in and went and poured drinks. Will sat down by the fire and looking up at his nephew he said, “I heard about all the trouble at the Ponderosa. It was headline news in Frisco, so I decided to award myself a holiday and come pay a visit. I heard in town that I’ve missed all the excitement. How are Joe and Adam?”

Ben filled him in and explained where the boys were and then Will went on “I’ve been offered a partnership but my Boss said that I should take the accumulated leave I had coming, ten weeks in all and start in fresh. Laura and I knew you were having trouble so we made two plans. Which we adopt is up to you.”

Ben said, “You must know that you are both very welcome here.”

“I know that but we don’t want to upset Adam, particularly if he’s ill. If it won’t upset him we’ll all come and stay for ten weeks and I’ll lend a hand. If not Laura will stay in town and I’ll work out on the range, wherever I can do the most good for six or seven weeks, until Joe is fit and then Laura and I will take a holiday together and Adam need never know. Laura will be quite happy catching up with old friends in town.”

Ben hated to hesitate, he would be very grateful for Will’s help. Will had lived with them for long enough to know a fair bit about the running of the ranch, and he would be more than just another pair of hands, a real godsend. However he wasn’t sure how Adam would take it and he didn’t dare do anything, which might upset his son, who was already fighting against pain and despair.

Will knew that Adam had been shot, but now Ben filled him in on the effects of the injury. Things had come full circle and Will had returned to find Adam in the same position that he had left him. Ben shook his head “I know that if Adam was fit, he would be delighted to see you both and the children. He has always regretted that circumstances kept you away. Before he found Carole, it might have been awkward but now I am sure he would be pleased. But while he’s so ill, I just daren’t take any risks”

Will said “I know that and I don’t want you to.”

Ben said “At least stay for supper and I’ll see what Hoss and Joe think. They’ll want to see you anyway and Little Joe couldn’t make town yet.”

Will accepted that and wandered round the room, with so many memories of the months that he had lived there. He was standing staring at the map on the wall, feeling so guilty for stealing Laura from his cousin, never believing her when she told him that Adam hadn’t really loved her. He had always felt that Adam was being noble giving her up and had never known why she had come to love him rather than his cousin. Will hadn’t been able to face Adam until now, when his cousin had a woman of his own, and despite invitations he wouldn’t visit the ranch behind Adam’s back, when he was back East or in Europe. Laura had always accepted that Adam had been more in love with the idea of a home and kids than with her and knew that she had to be the most important person to the man who loved her, the away she was for Will. She knew that was why she had fallen for Will, although she still loved Adam in her own way. She accepted that although the cousins were alike in many ways, Adam was far cleverer and had stronger principles and personality to say nothing of being better looking, but Will loved her and she was happy in her marriage. She knew it would be embarrassing to meet Adam again, but it was worth it, if it cleared the way for Will to visit the only place which had ever been home to him.

Little Joe had intended to ride up to the Lake, but before they were half way there he had to admit that he’d never make it, and he pulled up. Hoss was concerned but didn’t say anything and Little Joe grinned ruefully at him “Okay I admit I’m as weak as a kitten, help me down will you.”

Hoss lifted him down and ground tied the houses. Joe lay back and considered the scenery for a while just appreciating the clear air and the silence. Then he turned on his side towards to Hoss “It’s stupid. I ride less than a mile and I’m worn out, to say nothing of sore.”

Hoss said, “Cochise is very full of himself.”

Little Joe sighed “I can normally handle him with one finger.”

Hoss grinned broadly “Come on little brother, you’ve been flat on your back for three weeks, and your arm is only out of plaster today, what do you expect miracles?”

Joe knew that his brother was talking sense but he still fumed, he felt restless and wanted a good gallop, but he was too weak, and eventually he let Hoss help him up again and they moved slowly home. When they reached the house the horse at the hitchrail was a stranger and the brothers looked at each other wondering who was visiting. Ben had heard them ride in and went out to check that Joe was okay. He scrutinised his son’s face and then said, “We have a visitor, but keep your voices down, I don’t want Adam to know.”

Puzzled Hoss said “Who is it?" and Ben told them. They were both pleased to see their cousin and after the initial greetings were over Ben outlined Will’s offer and said “I’m not sure how Adam will take it.”

Joe said, “That depends On Carole.”

Ben asked, “What do you mean?”

“If Carole doesn’t mind meeting Laura then I think Adam would be glad to clear the air, so that Will can come back for visits. He never intended you to stay away.”

Will sighed, “I know that, but I couldn’t face him.”

“Adam doesn’t feel that way. He was grateful to you for stopping him doing both himself and Laura irreparable harm. I know he’s said as much.”

“Thanks Joe, but your brother is just being very generous.” Will turned away still unable to believe what Joe said any more than he believed his own wife.

Ben said, “It’s just about time for supper. I’ll go and feed Adam and send Carole down to meet you, and we’ll see what she thinks.” He went upstairs to find Adam lying half sitting up and chatting to Carole. Ben said, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but it’s supper time.”

Carole said “That’s okay we were only arguing about the merits of ‘A Tale of two Cities’.”

Ben laughed “You should ask Joe about that and as she looked puzzled, Adam said “I’ll explain later but Joe had a friend, who insisted on comparing him to Sydney Carton.”

Carole had to wait for the explanation and she went down while Ben lifted Adam up to lean against him. Adam forced himself to eat all the broth and sank back on his pillows. Nausea gripped him but he concentrated on tearing a piece of paper into shreds and after about twenty minutes it passed. It was the first time he had eaten without being sick and he grinned up at his father. Ben was delighted, but when Adam suggested that he get the weights out so that he could start doing his exercises, as Doc had suggested Ben hesitated. “Tomorrow maybe.”

Ben asked tentatively “Have you decided when the wedding will be?”

Adam wouldn’t look at his father. He had been avoiding the subject with both his family and Carole, now forced into a corner, he said, "Doc can't give me any idea how long it will be before I can walk. You'd better get the wheelchair cleaned up, if Hoss hasn't broken it.”

Ben didn’t revert to the subject of the wedding, to Adam’s relief, just saying that he would go and have supper and then would come up with Hoss to remake the bed, which looked as though a tornado had hit it. Adam nodded and then lay back staring up at the ceiling.

Downstairs Little Joe had introduced Carole to his cousin and the two of them stood studying each other, not knowing what to say. Eventually Will broke the silence “Adam wrote to me that he had got engaged, he’s a lucky man.”

Carole asked “Is your wife with you?”

Little Joe said “Come and sit down Carole. That’s the problem and we want your advice.” Carole went over to the fire and sat down in Adam’s favourite blue chair. Joe explained the position. Carole thought about it for a few minutes and then said “I’d like to meet Laura and see the babies and I think Adam would want to as well.”

Will sighed “It’s just that we don’t want to upset Adam, while he is ill.”

Carole looked up at Joe and Hoss and said tentatively “Adam is tough. I don’t think it will upset him, oh maybe momentarily, but I think having you all back here will outweigh that. I think he will want to clear the air.”

Little Joe nodded “That’s what I said, but the only way to be sure is to ask Adam.”

Will shook his head “As soon as you do that you force his hand.”

Joe denied it “I don’t mean to tell him that you aren’t in Frisco. Just that you might be taking a holiday.”

Ben came downstairs then and told them that Adam had managed a meal, without being sick. They were all delighted; it was certainly a very good sign of his progress. Joe told his father that he wanted to sound Adam out about meeting Will and Laura. Ben hesitated but then agreed on condition that Joe did it tactfully and left things open, warning him not to upset his brother and back of at any sign that he was doing so. He suggested leaving it until the morning; Adam had seemed to want to be left alone tonight.

Carole looked up at that, Adam had seemed cheerful enough earlier but his father knew him best. After supper Carole went outside very unsure what to do. Adam wouldn’t discuss the future with her, every time she tried he changed the subject. He wasn’t acting at all normally with her, refusing to accept her help, and she didn’t know whether she ought to go back to town or to stay. She was leaning on the corral fence, staring up at the mountains when Ben came out to find her. Ben just stood next to her, without saying anything, until Carole turned to him. She said, “I don’t know whether I should go back to town and take over my job again.”

Ben raised an eyebrow questioningly “I thought Mrs Portman was quite prepared to finish out the term and I know you asked the governors to find someone else for next term.”

“Oh she’s willing but it’s not fair to ask her unless I’m needed here. Adam doesn’t seem to want me around. You feed him and he was saying that Joe would have to help him with the exercises.” She turned away form Ben “I feel as though he’s putting on an act for me whenever I’m in the room and it’s a relief to him when I leave.”

Ben moved behind her and gripped her shoulders, feeling the tension but his voice was soothing “Of course he’s putting on an act. What do you expect? Adam loves you very much and he’s doing his best not to worry you. He doesn’t want you to see him sick and retching, or scare you by crying out in pain, and he can’t always restrain it. He is still seriously ill and in pain, very worried about his back, but the most important thing in his life is to protect you, not upset you.”

“I don’t care I love him. He let me tend Joe, but he won’t let me near him.”

“Once you are married he will accept your help, but he’s romantic, he can’t let you see him so vulnerable at the moment. On the other hand, he would be very hurt if you went back to town. I know he is putting on an act for you and it is probably a relief not to have to when you go out, but it doesn’t do him any harm, and he would be impossible if you weren’t around. Please stay and accept his whims, when he’s a bit better and less scared of breaking down, he’ll let you help more.”

Carole accepted what he said, but she had to ask, “You don’t think he’s changed his mind?”

Ben laughed “You can’t believe that, you can read his face and the way his eyes light up as soon as you appear, just as well as I can. But he won’t get married until he’s back on his feet. Hopefully it won’t be too long a job. For now just go on doing what you are doing. Go along with him. Let him take the lead in what he’s prepared to discuss. It isn’t very long since we were scared for his life and he’s still very weak.”

Carole relaxed back against Ben’s warm strength “I’ll try and I will stay.” Ben held her close “I knew you would and it won’t be long before you have your own home, somewhere near here.”

Ben and Hoss went up to remake the bed. Adam seemed disinclined to talk, so Ben just tucked him up and left him to sleep. Adam lay staring at the ceiling, he’d never felt less like sleeping but he didn’t want to talk to anyone. He knew that the Doc was optimistic and so was his little brother but he still had no feeling at all below the waist. He couldn’t help remembering last time when he had regained the use of his legs, only to lose his fiancée. He had accepted it then; knowing Will would be a far better husband for Laura than he would ever have been. He had even come to feel grateful to Will for preventing him doing irreparable harm to both himself and Laura, but now he couldn’t accept the loss of Carole. Neither would he marry her as a cripple, no matter how good the prognosis. He found himself watching suspiciously when Carole was with Hoss or Joe, and hated himself for it, knowing full well that she loved him. He dreaded the prospect of watching her for months, maybe years, unable to marry and wondered whether he should release her from her engagement, now he was only half a man. Adam had sunk into a real slough of despondency and for hours lay thinking in circles, until he had almost convinced himself that he wasn’t meant to marry. If he did regain the use of his legs, then he would lose Carole in some other way.

Ben looked in on his way to bed and saw that Adam was still awake, he could tell that Adam was worried and upset. Ben sat down next to the bed and fed Adam a weak brandy and water “Do you want to talk Son?”

Adam shook his head “I’m okay Pa, just got to think some things out.”

“Alright, but if you want me just give a yell. I’m right next door.” Ben had to make a real effort to get up and leave his son, but he knew it was useless to try and console Adam for the moment. It was probably inevitable after the shock of his wound and the pain of the last week, that Adam would have some reaction, but Ben was confident that given time Adam would come out of the very obvious despair holding him at the moment.

Adam didn’t sleep at all that night and by morning he looked very drawn and had even less colour in his face. Ben hadn’t slept much either and went in to his son at dawn. Ben didn’t comment on Adam’s looks, knowing that he couldn’t force his son to talk. He could at least make Adam more comfortable and brought him some coffee. Adam drank that gratefully, he had long finished the drink Ben had left by his bed.

Ben sat down by him and kept the conversation impersonal. The roof of the house was finally repaired, thanks to some good friends in town who had arranged to have the necessary timber cut, knowing that their own sawmill was still not working. The next job was to redo Adam’s room and Ben wanted to know what Adam wanted. It seemed an innocuous question until Ben realised that his son had turned his head away, not wanting to face his Pa. Adam knew he had to make some answer and he said “Just put it back the way it was.”

Ben frowned and then it suddenly fell into place. Just at the moment it wasn’t obvious whether Adam would be moving back into the room as a single man, maybe a cripple, or as a healthy married man. Simple things like the size of the bed would need to be changed depending on the state of his health. Ben tried to ease the tension he could see in his son, by reminding him that he’d always moaned about the waste of space with the cupboards he had used to store his books. Ben went on “I thought you might want to draw some plans for floor to ceiling shelving. It would give you more room.”

Adam made no answer but Ben persevered “Think about it, there’s no rush but Joe could measure up for you.”

Adam still didn’t answer and for five minutes father and son sat in silence, but then Adam turned back to face his father “How long before the sawmill is working?”

“Not long. Hoss is working real hard, got a good gang up there.”

Adam lifted himself up on one elbow, he grunted at the effort but staring at his father he said, “I want to know what damage has been done. You’ve been fobbing me off with generalities, painting rosy pictures but you wouldn’t look so tired and worried if they were true. Tell me the truth.”

Ben had no choice, Adam knew too much about the ranch affairs to hide from him the extent of the loss they were going to make on the timber operation. They had lost about a week’s output from the sawmill in the fire and another three weeks while repairing the mill. Their major problem was still the flume. The prices they had quoted had been arrived at by using heavy cutting in areas that had been inaccessible prior to the use of the flume. They now had to either spend time and money repairing the flumes, before continuing to log, or return to the lower slopes which would only take limited cutting. Either way it was impossible to meet their contracts without a large increase in men and equipment, which then made the price uneconomic. They also had to find men to scour the lower pastures for all of the salt lick before the cattle were brought down. All in all the ranch was going to make a substantial loss this year. Ben thought it would be covered, by the million they had had to start the year, along with the dividends still coming out of their mining investments and the profit on the stock, but Addison’s operations had cost them dear.

Adam wasn’t particularly surprised by what Ben told him, he had seen all too much of the damage take place in front of him and noone knew the Ponderosa better than he did. He would have loved to help but his father had covered all the practical moves they could make. His thoughts taken back to that night, for the first time he felt ready to talk about it. “Addison was mad. I could see it in his eyes.”

“I’ve certainly never known anyone who was so ruthless.”

Adam said reflectively “I think he had got so used to getting his own way. The only one who ever stood up to him was Carole. I’ve seen jealousy before but this was ten times stronger.” Adam rested back on his pillows and he reached out for his father’s hand for reassurance and then he started to tell his father exactly what had happened in that clearing, just what Addison had said. He was re-living it as she spoke and seemed barely aware of his surroundings, as he recalled the overwhelming fear for Carole, which had made him sit still and hide all emotion as Addison described how he was destroying his beloved family and their ranch. The grip on his father’s hand was the one thing that kept him linked to reality and safety.

As he finally fell silent, Ben said, “How did you intend to get away? I’m sure you had some plan.”

“Hardly a plan Pa, a desperate hope. I knew that someone would be out there to help, I was almost sure that you were close. You were there?”

“Yes Son along with José and some eight men. Joe sent Jamieson to track you and you left plenty of sign.”

“It was funny the guy who was taking me seemed to think my ‘lack of control’ of Sport was because I was so scared. He never queried the rather wending route I took. Mind you he was right about me being scared.”

Ben began to wonder if Adam had forgotten the original question but then Adam went on “I was playing for him to lose control, come out of that nice little shelter he’d built himself. He did once and came over and hit me, but he regained it again too quickly. I’m not sure what I would have done, but I thought if I could get my hands on him I could use him as a shield against those other guns, and I knew help was there, but then I lost control first.” Adam’s voice became barely more than a whisper and Ben had to strain to hear. “When he said Carole was dead. I just wanted to blot him out. I’ve lost my temper before but not like that. I just wanted to kill. For what he’d done to Carole and to Joe and Hoss, the ranch. A red rage, I saw him through a haze of red and just wanted to kill. I’m glad he’s dead, he deserved to die, but I’m glad I didn’t do it, not in that killing rage. I didn’t know I could lose control so completely.” Adam looked up at his father almost scared, expecting to see disgust or worse on his father’s face, but the only thing there was compassion and understanding “We all knew that you would go for him, even as he spoke I think we all moved forward. You’d have had to be more than human to react any other way Adam. We had to come out of cover before we got a clear shot at him and he had already shot you. He knew as well and shot almost before you moved and he was aiming to finish it when we fired. He was hit by seven or eight bullets and must have been dead before he hit the ground. I don’t know whose bullet killed him and I don’t care”

“It was the best way for everyone. If there had been a trial and a hanging, it would have been hard on Carole, she loved him once. It’s hard enough on her anyway with me crippled.”

“Don’t underestimate her son, she’s as tough as you are and she loves you very much. You don’t have to protect her you know. She is well aware how ill you are and that you are putting a brave face on for her. She won’t think any the worse of you if that brave face slips sometimes, anymore than your brothers or I do.”

Adam didn’t answer and after five minutes as Adam seemed to have sunk back into his own thoughts, Ben asked, “If I get some broth will you eat it?”

Adam pulled a face but nodded. After he had eaten, he fought the nausea and nearly an hour later it finally passed, and he asked his father to help him sit up. Adam had been resting against pillows, half sitting up, enough for his father to feed him, but in order to do the exercises Doc required Adam would need to sit upright.

Ben helped him into position and held his son as the pain hit him. After a couple of minutes noticing the blue tinge to Adam’s lips, Ben said “I think you had better lie down again and leave it for a couple of days. “

Adam shook his head and through gritted teeth he said, “No, it’s passing.” Ben wasn’t convinced but it was a waste of time arguing with his stubborn son and gradually the blue faded and a bit of colour returned to his lips. Adam grinned at his father “Right now you can bring up the weights and the bar.”

Ben laughed and said “I don’t think you could lift a feather at the moment Adam. Just relax for a bit and then I’ll send Joe in. His arm isn’t strong enough to hand you anything too heavy and he can do some exercises at the same time. I’ve got some work to do.” Adam seemed more cheerful than when he had gone into him and Ben thought his son was probably better for talking out what had happened, so he went down to breakfast reasonably happy.

Hoss had come back the day before to report progress and check on his elder brother and he was having breakfast with Joe. Will had gone back to town the night before and Beth and Carole weren’t up yet. Ben told Joe to go and help Adam with his exercises when he had finished breakfast and Hoss said that he would drop the equipment into his father’s room, before he went back to the sawmill.

Hoss found his brother sitting still waiting for the pain to fade again and Hoss was all too aware of it, despite the grin that Adam managed. Hoss dumped the various pieces of equipment they had used before and then went over to sit by the bed. “Right here it is Adam but please don’t over do it. I know you want to get back on your feet but make haste slowly. Pa’s worried enough, without you driving him to distraction by not being sensible.”

Adam grinned and this time it reached his eyes “It wasn’t so long ago I said about the same to you."

“Yeah and I took your advice and I’m fine now.”

“I promise to be good, if you will come home tomorrow or the next day and help me have a bath. I feel filthy.”

“It’s a deal brother. I’ll be back tomorrow evening.” He gripped Adam’s shoulder momentarily and then he had to go but said, “Joe will be up, soon as he’s finished eating.”

Ben was giving Joe firm instructions on what Adam was to be allowed to do, and by the time Joe reached his brother’s room, he was helpless with the giggles. Adam waited patiently for the giggles to subside sufficiently for Joe to be capable of speech and then enquired just what had amused his brother so much.

Joe said “Pa’s given me so many do’s and don’t’s for you and me that I can’t remember any of them. Even if I could I don’t know whether you’re supposed to do them and not me or vice versa.” He broke into giggles again at the thought of the earnestness on his father’s face and Adam reached out and cuffed Joe gently, but he paid for the move with a sharp stabbing pain from is stomach. He couldn’t quite hide the gasp of pain and Joe was immediately serious “Are you sure you should start yet, wouldn’t it be better to wait a few days.”

“Don’t you start! Pass me that bar and I’ll soon show you.” Joe did as he was told and then picked up a small weight and began to exercise his arm. As he did so Joe said “We seem to have been here before, funny how history repeats itself.”

Adam put down the bar with a grunt and looked at his brother. “What do you mean Joe?”

Joe concentrated on the weight not wanting to look at his brother “I was thinking of Laura. She’s rather like Carole in several ways.”

Adam went as white as his sheets and the tension in him reached Joe who risked a glance at his brother. What he saw horrified him, as he realised just how tactless he’d been and hastily said “Dear God, I didn’t mean anything like that Adam. Carole loves you, she would never leave you.”

For one horrible minute Adam had thought that Joe was trying to tell him that he and Carole - but looking at his brother he knew just how stupid his maudlin thoughts last night had been. Still however silly that idea was, his little brother was up to something and he considered Joe with open suspicion, just what was Joe leading up to. His mind made up Adam demanded “Right out with it Joe. Stop wandering round the bush and tell me what’s on your mind.”

Joe tried to protest that it was nothing, his bright idea of sounding out his brother suddenly didn’t seem so clever.

Adam ignored his protest “Joe why are you suddenly talking about Laura? Normally you and the rest of the family all refrain from mentioning her and Will like the plague, especially now with me stuck in bed.”

Joe tried to think of a way out, but his brother knew him too well and would see through any subterfuge. “Alright it’s just that we were wondering how you would feel about seeing them again.”

“It’s always been Will who avoided me, I didn’t want them to run off to Frisco in the first place.”

“I know that but now you have found Carole, I don’t think Will feels as guilty and he has some holiday to come. He was thinking of spending it here but hearing that you were hurt he didn’t want to upset you.”

Adam thought about that for a moment and then asked, “How do you think Carole would react.”

Little Joe said rather tentatively “Well I mmm, I asked her. I think she’s curious to meet them and see the twins.”

Adam considered his brother, not sure whether to be angry at Joe’s interference and then weighed up the likelihood of Joe doing exactly that. For the moment he concentrated on the question he had been asked, “If Carole is happy with it I’d like to see them. I always wanted them to feel free to come back. I expect it will be a little awkward at first, especially as I’m like this. Laura will be okay but Will never believed I wasn’t being noble.”

Little Joe said “I believed you, but you must admit the way you left as soon as you were able and went to England was enough to convince Will he was right.” For a moment Joe wondered if he had gone too far as his brother’s face clouded over. Adam remembered those miserable days when physically, emotionally and mentally sick and confused he had tried running away. Sure he had made a logical case, the ranch needed a lawyer and he often used his new knowledge, but in reality he was trying to run from the pain of what had happened and it didn’t work as he couldn’t run from himself. He was brought back to the present as he heard Joe anxiously say his name. Adam forced a smile “I’m okay Joe, but I am sleepy, help me lie down.”

Joe helped his brother slide down the bed and then Adam grinned up, as things slipped into place “Tell Will and Laura to bring the kids out here. I want to see them and Virginia City is no place for children.”

Joe stuttered “How did you know?”

Adam grinned, glad his guess had been right and said “I always could read you little brother, like a book.”

The time Adam had spent with Joe had demolished his imaginations of the previous night and he began to wonder how he could have been so stupid. Relaxing he soon fell asleep. Carole came in to sit with him and with nothing to do she began to wonder about Laura. Joe had confessed to his father that Adam had guessed they were in town. Ben wasn’t really surprised, but he was pleased to hear that Adam had no reservations in wanting them to come out to the house. Ben wrote a letter to Will telling him and sent it into town with one of the hands.

Beth knew that they would be tight on room and announced her intention of returning to town. They didn’t need her help any longer and she had a million things to do at home. Ben didn’t like to appear to throw her out the minute they could do without her, but she insisted.

Adam slept for several hours, after his sleepless night and he was totally relaxed and content when he woke up. Carole had just been sitting by him and didn’t notice when he first awoke. Adam lay back watching her face. He felt as though he was seeing her beauty for the first time, almost as though he had begun to take it for granted and now it struck him anew. Carole was miles away, for all her brave words she was dreading Laura’s arrival. She believed Adam but she couldn’t help wondering if he was fooling himself and how deeply he had been in love with his cousin’s wife.

Adam took her hand and raised it to his lips and only then did Carole realise that he was awake. She looked down at him and was surprised to see how peaceful he looked. Adam said, “I love you Carole.” She bent over and kissed him and Adam pulled her close and gave her a big hug. Once she had settled back in the chair Adam held on to her hand “Do you mind if we talk about the future?”

“It’s up to you darling.”

Adam was sombre for a moment “I spent last night worrying whether I ought to release you from our engagement, now I’m only half a man.” She looked totally horrified but before she could say anything Adam went on “I don’t know whether it’s the right thing to do or not, but I can’t do it. I love you and I’ll never let you go. Somehow, sometime I’m going to get back on my feet and as soon as I can walk the length of the aisle, we are going to get married.”

Carole rested the back of her hand against his face “Darling I love you so much I’d marry you tomorrow and push the wheelchair up the aisle even if I knew for sure that you would never leave it. You would still be twice the man, compared to any of the others in the room. I am going to be your wife, no matter what and I am not prepared to wait very long.”

Adam held out his arms and she buried her head on his shoulder. He had known he could trust her, but despair was so close in the long dark early hours of the morning. “I want our wedding day to be perfect and I shall walk for it. It’s a big enough incentive to have me on my feet in a few weeks.

Carole held him close, she had been so scared that he would be noble and insist on releasing her. Eventually Adam pulled away “I guess I’d better do some exercises. The more I do the sooner that day will come.”

Carole said “I’ll go and fetch Joe.” Adam shook his head “No you stay. I’ve been embarrassed at letting you see how weak I am, but as Pa pointed out you have a right to see all sides of the job you’re taking on.”

Carole was delighted that at last he was going to let her help and she tried to help him sit up. Carole didn’t have the physical strength that his father had and Adam had to do more to help himself. The effort sent shooting pains through him and he was hard put to restrain a groan but at length he was sitting up. He could only wait for the pain to subside and momentarily closed his eyes not wanting to see the worry on Carole’s face. Carole hadn’t realised quite how weak he still was and she would have given a lot to just help him lie down and rest but she knew her love well enough not to say anything. She helped Adam with his exercises and after half an hour Adam admitted temporary defeat. He lent back against his pillows and relaxed and then decided he wanted a book. He knew perfectly well where it had been in his room but where Joe had put it was anyone’s guess. He described its size and colour and Carole went hunting. Ben had come up to make sure that Adam was okay and to bring him some lunch. He stood at the door as Carole rooted through piles under Adam’s directions. Every so often she would find something unexpected, clothes, a gun, rock samples, even plans for the house they were in. The pair of them were laughing and Ben was delighted to see Adam in such good spirits and stood watching for a long time before Carole noticed him. At that point Ben moved into the room “Sorry to disturb you, but its lunchtime.”

“Not doing anything particularly important, just trying to find that book on preservation of wood that I was reading a few days back.”

“Well it would have been a long hunt It's downstairs on the table where you left it.” Adam grinned sheepishly “Oh yes I remember now.” Ben smiled “I’ll bring it up later, but for now let Carole go to have her lunch. Hop Sing said ours will be ready in ten minutes. I have yours here.” Carole gave Adam a kiss and then went on down.

Ben thought his son looked exhausted but he didn’t say anything. He sat down next to Adam and began to feed his son but after about half, Adam pushed it away “I’m gonna be sick.” Ben got the dish and held his son, as the paroxysm caught him. Once its force was spent Adam lay back against his father only half-conscious. Ben wiped his face and eased him back down the bed “Doc warned you not to overdo things Adam”

Adam nodded, he had known that he had done too much. Ben left it at that and told him to get some sleep.

After lunch Will, Laura and the three kids arrived. Carole had gone to her room and only Ben was there to greet them. The nearer they got to the Ponderosa the more awkward they felt at the prospect of facing Adam. Peggy was very excited as she recognised things she hadn’t seen for four years and she chatted away happily.

Finally the ranchhouse was in sight and Ben, having heard the buggy come in, went out to welcome them. Laura was pleased to see him and accepted his help down from the buggy. Ben led them inside and gave them coffee, and admired the twins who were seven months old and very pretty fair haired babies. Then he showed Laura up to the pair of guestrooms with a connecting door that he had had prepared. Ben had even found the cot he had used for little Joe and had one of the hands clean it up. Laura was delighted and Ben left her to settle in, telling her to ask for anything she needed. Little Joe heard voices and came in to say hello. Laura knew he’d been hurt but was surprised how thin and drawn he looked. To those who had seen him when he was first injured he looked immeasurably better, but for her seeing him afresh he still looked ill. She didn’t say anything and Joe went over to make a fuss of Peggy, who was feeling rather left out. Laura was pleased when Joe insisted on taking Peggy out to the stable, where he'd picked out a horse for her to use while she was there.

Ben had seen Carole look out of her room and feeling it would be better if the two women met in private, he went across and asked her to come and meet Laura. He introduced them and left them alone. As he left Carole went over to the twins and admired them, but they were asleep and the conversation flagged. Laura took a deep breath and said “Please come and sit down, for Adam’s sake we’ve got to come to terms.”

Carole nodded “I know about your engagement. Little Joe told me, Adam won’t say much about it.”

“I’m not surprised he was badly hurt in every way.” Laura moved over to stare down at her babies “I loved Adam very much, for months I prayed that he would ask me to marry him. I think I knew that he didn’t really love me, but I told myself that I had enough love for both of us, that in time he would come to love me. You love him you must know what a good kind strong man he is. Eventually he did propose but even when we were engaged, somehow it wasn’t right. I never saw him and Will was there. It isn’t easy to love without any return, but with Will it worked both ways. I am very happy with my husband far happier than I would have been with Adam. I still love Adam and I guess I always will you but I’m no threat to you, all I want is his happiness. I envy you if you’ve won the love I couldn’t but I am very content in my family. I realised a very long time ago that Adam wasn’t for me.”

Carole knew how very hard it must be for Laura to bare her soul to a complete stranger and she jumped up and went over to the other woman. “I was scared of your coming. Adam said that he loved you as a sister, as Peggy’s mother and all that stood for but I wasn’t sure that it wasn’t just his pride speaking. Now I know and I am very grateful. I hope we can be friends.”

Laura turned and smiled at Carole “You are a very lucky woman, he’s a fine man.”

“I know.” Then Carole excused herself feeling the need to see her fiancé. Adam was asleep, but she sat by him, realising now why he had found it so hard to break with Laura and pondering over the unpredictability of love. It seemed odd that Adam couldn’t have fallen in love with Laura, although she was very glad that he hadn’t.

Laura took her time to pull himself together one of the hurdles she had been dreading was past and she liked Carole, but the bigger one was still to come.

Ben had no intention of allowing either of them to see Adam, until after supper and only then if he thought his son was strong enough. Despite Adam’s willingness to see them he knew it would be an upsetting experience, he had been badly hurt at that time. Ben wandered over from his desk and he was glad to see Carole and Laura chatting away before supper, the twins were awake and Carole was playing with them. Little Joe was lazing out on the sofa watching the babies. He looked tired but assured his father that he was fine. He said in a low voice “It seems odd that if things had gone differently they could have been Adam’s daughters.” Ben nodded “I know what you mean but don’t you dare say such a thing to any of them.”

Joe looked up “What do you take me for?” Ben ruffled his hair and said, “I won’t answer that!”

Then Ben heard a horse and went out to see who it was. He was surprised to see Hoss, as he hadn’t expected him back for several days. Worried he asked “More trouble?” Hoss shook his head “No Pa everything is just fine, but I promised Adam I’d come home this evening and help him have a bath.”

Ben wasn’t sure the wound was barely sealed over, but as Hoss said it would make Adam feel much better and should help his back. Ben gave way but he told his big son that he would have to wait and see how Adam was after food. Hoss frowned “Why? Is he worse again?”

“Not really but he was very sick at lunchtime, overdid the exercises this morning.”

Hoss was cross “Dern fool, he promised me he’d take it steady.”

Ben put a restraining hand on Hoss’ arm “Don’t nag him, he was only trying to impress Carole.”

“Okay Pa. Did Will and Laura get here?”

“Yes, they are inside with the children, come in and get washed up it’s nearly supper time.” As Hoss greeted Laura and Peggy, Ben went upstairs to his eldest son. Adam was awake and said “Will and Laura have arrived haven’t they?”

Ben nodded and Adam went on “I thought I heard her voice. Why haven’t they been up to see me?”

“I thought they should wait until after you had your supper. See if you feel like seeing visitors.” Adam wasn’t looking forward to the first meeting and wanted to get it over. He was determined to keep his supper down and he told Ben he would be okay as soon as he had finished. Ben didn’t like leaving his son alone in case he was sick but Adam insisted and much loath Ben left Adam alone to fight the nausea. Adam was close to giving in but eventually it faded. He called for his father who had just finished his own meal “I’m alright Pa. Will you help me to sit up and then tell them to come up.”

“Do you want to see them together or separately?”

“It’s up to them.” Adam sat waiting, glad of a few minutes respite to give time for the pain in his stomach to subside and for him to get a firm hold on himself. Then there was a tap on the door and Laura came in. For a long moment they just looked at each other tracing the changes wrought by four years. Then Laura came over to the bed and put her hand out. Adam took it “You look very well Laura and Joe say the twins are real little beauties. I’m glad you and Will have come back at last.”

Laura was examining his face and recognising the lines of pain that she remembered so well. “I’m only sorry that we come back to find you ill.”

“It‘s rather a complete circle, you find me as you left me.” Laura looked a little hurt and Adam was quick to say, “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I have Carole and I will soon regain my fitness. I’m fine and I know that Will has made you far happier than I ever could. It was all for the best.”

Laura bent forward and kissed him on the forehead “Will and I have been very happy although he has never stopped feeling guilty and I like your Carole very much.”

“There was no need for Will to feel guilty. He loved you in a way that I didn’t. I could never work out why I didn’t Laura. In so many ways you were exactly what I wanted, that’s why I nearly did us such harm”

“I know that. Dear Adam, that’s all in the past now. Let’s forget and be friends.”

Adam smiled at her “Its funny I was dreading seeing you again, mainly I think because it has been so long but now I feel at home with you, just the way I always did.”

“I’m glad and I’m so glad we came back, we should never have left it so long.”

“Bring Peggy and the babies up to see me in the morning.”

“Of course Peggy has never forgotten you Adam and she has been worrying all the way here in case you had forgotten her.”

Adam grinned “I’ll bet she’s grown, four years is a long time.”

“Do you want to see Will now or leave it until morning.”

“Don’t you start fussing Laura, I already have a house full fussing over me. I’d like to see my cousin.”

Laura grinned and headed downstairs to find her husband. Adam lay back, it had been much easier than he had expected. He and Laura had always got on well, that had been half the trouble. He had hated the idea of losing her companionship. With the knowledge of Carole’s love behind him he hadn’t even felt a pang of what might have been, just pleasure in seeing an old friend again. Ben poked his head round the door, wondering how his son was coping and was pleasantly surprised to see how calm Adam looked. Adam saw his father and grinned “I’m fine Pa, it was good to see her again.” Ben had expected him to be upset by the meeting and scanned his face anxiously before deciding that Adam wasn’t putting on an act. Then he said “I’m glad Son let the past bury it’s dead.”

“Why not, the future looks good.”

Ben left and sent Will on up, Will came in slowly and the cousins looked at each other. Of all the Cartwrights, Will had always got on best with Adam, the closest to him in age. Indeed for a long time he and Joe had disliked each other, continually rubbing each other up the wrong way. Although he had met the others from time to time, he hadn’t spoken to Adam since the day he’d left the ranch with Laura. Now it made matters worse to see Adam lying helpless in bed, looking tired and ill.

Adam thought his cousin had aged, being tense didn’t help, and Will looked fourteen years older rather than four. Neither of them spoke and the tension in the room could have been cut with a knife. Eventually Will walked over to the bed and put out his hand. Adam, took it and the two men shook. Will sat down heavily on the side of the bed. Adam said, “I’m glad you have come back.”

Will looked at him as though he was mad and shook his head “I wouldn’t have blamed you if you’d never wanted to see me again.”

“Why? I am very grateful you prevented me making a fool of myself and doing both Laura and myself irreparable harm.” Will didn’t say anything and Adam asked “Did you get my letter from New York.” Will nodded. Adam said, “I meant what I said in it. Why won’t you believe me?”

“If you meant it why did you run away to England. If you didn’t love her anyway why the need to run?”

“Joe told me that was what had convinced you. I see that he was right.”

“That’s no answer Adam.” Will looked at his cousin who was even paler than when he had come in and Will got to his feet “I’d better go I’ve no right to worry you. He was heading for the door when Adam called him back “Please, Will you can’t go like this, where are you going?”

“Back where I came from. We should never have come.”

“Don’t be a fool. Lets straighten this out once and for all.”

“Maybe when you are better.”

Adam shook his head “No we can’t leave it like this, do you think I could sleep if you leave now?”

Will came back over to the bed and looked down at his cousin “I hurt you enough four years ago, I’ve lived with that on my conscience I will not do it again.”

Adam gripped his arm, the grip remarkably strong “You didn’t hurt me. Oh maybe my pride a little and there’s no need for anything on your conscience. Pour out a couple of drinks and then come back here and listen to me.” Adam didn’t release his cousin, until Will gave a nod of acquiescence.

Will did as he was told and handed Adam a brandy, putting some water into it at Adam’s request. Adam drank it as Will sipped his own and sat staring into space trying to organise his thought. Eventually Adam said “You do Laura an injustice you know. If I had loved her the way you do, she would never have given you a second look. She’s the faithful type and what happened was out of character for her. You’ve been married to her for four years you should know that. She only came to love you because I didn’t fulfil the need she had to be loved. I don’t know if she ever told you but I proposed twice. The first time she turned me down. I couldn’t say it properly because I wasn’t sure of my own feelings. That was when she decided to leave, she told me that if it wasn’t there then no amount of talking and thinking would put it there and that we should separate and sort ourselves out. Pa had already said much the same to me, he asked if I was in love with Laura or with the thought of marriage and kids.” Adam paused and stared up at the ceiling. Will didn’t say anything but handed his cousin another drink.

Eventually Adam went on “She was leaving and then she was hurt, I hated the idea of losing her companionship so much that I convinced myself that I was in love. Because I’d convinced myself I convinced Laura and she agree to marry me. Over those next couple of months I think she realised I was visiting Peggy as much as I was her, I started to build that house and avoided naming a day until it was nearing completion. I spent hours planning the house everything was to be perfect for me and my children, but looking back I found Laura was just a shadowy figure in those dreams. At that time I was sure that everything was okay. Laura loved me and I loved her and it would be our house. Then I had that fall. I realised later that the pair of you had intended to tell me that day hadn’t you?”

Will could only nod, not knowing what to say but Adam smiled at him. Adam was silent for a moment and then went on “In some ways it was a good thing I had that fall and stopped you. Then I was still convinced I was in love. I had to spend weeks flat on my back unable to move. It’s not the worst that can happen, when I was blinded was far worse, but it is bad enough. You feel damned helpless, but it does give you time to think. The prospect of being tied to a wheelchair for life is daunting to say the least but you have to come to terms with yourself, in order to remain sane. Then as now there was the problem of tying a woman to you, You offer marriage as a whole man and then as half a man they are tied to you. Thinking round everything, I knew that Pa was right. I wanted children and my own home, Laura was just a means to an end. I was, and am, very fond of her, and I enjoyed her company but I didn’t love her. I thought that she loved me and I knew she wouldn’t back out because I was crippled. That was when I made the real mistake. I planned to go through with the wedding. I knew her first husband, who had only stayed because of Peggy, had hurt her and yet I planned to do the same. I know now that it was wrong and I would have ended up hurting her, just as Frank did. Then I heard you two in the barn, I admit it was a total shock and quite a hard blow to my pride. It would have been better if I could have taken some time, but you were leaving and I knew Laura had to go with you.”

Adam sipped his drink for a minute fighting for control and then seeing Will stir, Adam put his hand on his cousin’s “No let me finish. I was still weak enough to have plenty of time to think and I gradually realised what harm I would have done. Yet I had dated Laura for over a year and my dreams of a house and kids were very real. I came to feel that I had to get away that I couldn’t build here. Wherever I went things reminded me of broken dreams, not just Laura and there was no way I could really help out. My back was still so weak, Doc was saying a year to recover and even then, maybe never breaking horses. Even the lake brought no peace. I rationalised it the ranch needed a lawyer and the best place to study was in England, but Pa knew I was just running away. I ran and it’s a long way to New York, I was so confused, I missed Pa and my brothers and I had taken on a five year course. I nearly turned round and came back but I couldn’t face that either. I knew you would be blaming yourself, Laura is more realistic and always knew I didn’t really love her. But you thinking I was being noble when you stopped me being the exact opposite. Maybe it wasn’t the best time to write, I can’t remember exactly what I said but I didn’t like myself much at the time. When I set sail I never intended to come back, that resolve lasted two months by which time I was so homesick I’d have given anything to tuck my tail between my legs and slink home. But I had started the course and I always was pig-headed so I stuck it out for another eighteen months until I could reasonably break off and finish it off here. Those months were my penance for the harm I intended and they enabled me to come home fresh and at peace with myself. Now they mean that I can plan my life here with Carole. It’s the same life I planned with Laura but this time instead of children dominating my dreams Carole does. If I remain a cripple I shall marry Carole because I love her, but I could never have married Laura in a wheel chair. This time the dream will remain intact, the other one would have become a nightmare, but nature ensured that Laura sensed the lack, and fell in love with you instead.”

Will hadn’t said a word as Adam spoke, just watching the play of emotion on his cousin’s face. He knew that Adam had told him more than he would have said to anyone else, except possibly Ben. Adam asked “You didn’t believe my letter, do you believe me now?”

“I believe you. I didn’t mean you to tell me all that.”

“You had the right to know.”

Will considered his cousin, Adam was drained physically and emotionally and it was obvious. “Come on Adam let him help you.” Adam accepted the help to settle down and then Will said “Thank you. I’m only sorry I forced it on you when you aren’t fit. Try and get some sleep.”

“Forget it Will I’m just glad you have both come back. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Will nodded and went out leaving his cousin to sleep.

Will went downstairs where Ben and Laura were both anxiously awaiting him. He said “Adam’s okay but he’s tired, he’s gonna get some sleep.” Then he wandered outside. He wanted to be alone to think and Laura knew him well enough not to follow. Will knew it had cost Adam a lot to say all he had. His cousin was a reserved man and not prone to laying his feelings bare, except possibly to his father or brothers when he needed help. Now he had done it to help Will. Will sat out on the corral fence. Once before he had accepted Laura as a gift from his cousin, now he had another, an even greater gift, that of peace of mind. For four years he had felt guilty in his marriage, now at last he could accept it without guilt, and he could come back freely to the place he had grown to love and to see his family. His only regret was that he had forced Adam into that position while he was ill, making him relive problems from the past, when he had enough problems in the present. He sat thinking over what Adam had said for a couple of hours before he went in to rejoin his wife. Laura knew how tense and worried he had been at the prospect of seeing Adam again and was delighted to find him calm and happy. Will said, “We had a long talk. I always said that Adam was being noble. I just got the reasons wrong.” Laura knew Adam had succeeded in dispelling the guilt, which had tended to mar their marriage and once again she had him to thank for her happiness. She never learnt what had happened between the cousins that night but she was very grateful for the effects of it.

Ben had gone up to see if Adam was alright and found his son lying in the dark, crying quietly, his face wet with tears. Ben worried went over to his son but Adam rubbed his hand across his face “I’m okay Pa. Will and I have sorted things out. Just leave me alone for a bit.” Ben was uneasy at leaving him while he was obviously upset, but knew his eldest son well enough to know that he couldn’t help just at the moment.

Ben went downstairs and seeing Will, he asked to have a word with him Will went over to join Ben at his desk but Ben found it difficult to begin. Eventually he said “I don’t want to pry but can you tell me the gist of what passed between you and Adam?

Will was puzzled “Why? We parted on good terms.”

“When I looked in he asked me to leave him alone but he seemed upset, and I can’t help worrying while he’s so weak.”

“I’m not really surprised Sir. Adam explained to me how he had felt about Laura and why he ran away to Europe. I think he was reliving those days while he talked, and at the end I know he was exhausted. I didn’t intend him to tell me all that but I am very glad he did.”

Ben understood what had been said and in Adam’s present state he wasn’t surprised that it had upset him. He said “I just wanted to know so that I could judge whether to leave him alone or not. He will be fine.”

“The last thing I wanted was to upset him.”

“Ben smiled at his nephew “I know that but I think it is more than outweighed by his delight that you two have finally come back to the Ponderosa. He never wanted to exile you from it. Don’t worry he’ll be fine by morning.”

Ben went back in to check on Adam before he went to bed. He had told Hoss to leave the bath until morning; sure that Adam had had enough for one day. Adam was still awake, although much calmer. He had been reliving the past and was still despondent, so many things that he had done wrong over the years. Ben straightened his bedclothes and said, “Do you want a drink?”

Adam nodded and Ben lifted him slightly and fed him some brandy. “Do you want to talk?”

Adam shook his head “No I’m alright Pa.”

“You could do with a good night’s sleep. Will you take a sleeping draught?”

“No, it always gives me weird dreams. I’m better off without it. I’ll be fine, don’t fuss Pa.” Ben knew the best thing to do was to leave Adam to get over it on his own and he went out, reminding Adam that he was only next door if his son needed anything. Ben consoled himself that all the time Adam had Carole his son would soon recover.

Adam slept late the next day and it was nearly ten o’clock when he awoke. Ben was with him and said “We were wondering when you’d wake up, Hoss is hanging around waiting to help you with a bath,” Adam brightened up at that, he had thought his big brother had forgotten. Everything was ready and Ben took off the dressing on his wound, It was sealed over and Ben didn’t think that a bath would do any harm, Hoss carried Adam over and eased him down into the hot water. Hoss had felt his brother tense against the pain as he was moved but now Adam lay back and relaxed. It felt marvellous and soothed his aching body. Hoss washed his back for him and then sat back laughing at the expression of contentment on Adam’s face. Little Joe wandered in to see how they were getting on and said, “I know exactly how you feel Adam. That first bath when you have been stuck in bed is sheer ecstasy.” Adam was loath to get out but eventually the water cooled and Hoss lifted him out onto a large bath towel. Ben had remade the bed and soon Adam was lying back in it. Getting dried and putting his nightshirt on had tried his fortitude and he was glad to lay back and recover. They knew it would have hurt him far more without Hoss’ strength Adam was too heavy for Ben to handle even with Joe’s help Hoss promised to come home every couple of days and help him bathe until he was strong enough to help himself. Adam laughed ruefully “A rather overgrown baby!”

Will was going to ride up with Hoss and take charge at the sawmill which was nearing completion so that Hoss could spend more time with Johnny getting the lumber operation working smoothly in the absence of the flume. He came in to see Adam before he left but Ben was feeding his son and the two men simply shook hands. Will smiled “I’ll see you both in a few days.”

Later in the morning Laura and Carole came in to see him with Peggy and the twins. Adam was amazed at the size of Peggy. She had been small for her age at five but had shot up. Peggy remembered Adam and launched herself at him. Laura tried to restrain her, scared she would hurt Adam, but he was okay and the lines of pain and worry on his face eased as he sat listening to Peggy prattling on. Then he insisted on inspecting the twins. “What do you call them?” he asked.

Laura said “Eve and Dawn”

Adam smiled “I like that. Which one is Eve?” Laura handed him one of them but the twins were identical and Adam asked “How do you tell them apart?”

Carole had already discovered the most noticeable difference and she laughed “Woman’s instinct. No mere man can tell”

Adam couldn’t resist the challenge and insisted on being given both to hold. They considered him very solemnly and Laura waited for them to yell, they had become very suspicious of strangers in the last few weeks, The babies sat one in the crook of each arm and considered Adam and then as if in agreement they both began to grin. Adam grinned delightedly at them as they cooed at him and then he realised one had two teeth while the other had none. “Which one has the teeth”

Carole smiled “That’s Eve”

Adam said triumphantly “Mere male nothing.”

Laura acknowledged that for now he had the answer, but she asked, “What are you going to do when Dawn put her teeth through too.

“Well I’ll know them better by then.” The babies couldn’t crawl as yet and were quite content to sit up supported by his arms and inspect their surroundings. Laura gave them their teething rings and then she and Carole sat back, as Adam chatted to Peggy and laughed at the antics of the twins. Little Joe wandered in, he’d been helping his father with some accounts but after half an hour he had to give up with a severe headache. He was delighted to see Adam so cheerful and slipped downstairs to fetch his father. Ben was amazed, Adam looked a different man from the woe-begone son he’d had the previous night. He stood watching them for five minutes and then slipped out not wanting to disturb the group.

For the next two weeks the children were invaluable, as for hours on end, Adam sat quietly back and played with them. Carole and Laura had become firm friends and would sit chatting together, both pleased to see Adam so contented. Carole spent the evenings with him and he always seemed happy enough and not too worried. He was gradually regaining his strength and could sit up unaided. His food didn’t trouble him much now, only when he got overtired. Ben was pleased to see him so cheerful but he had his hands full with the ranch details and left Adam to his fiancée and his old friend.

Little Joe was nearly fully fit and Ben had finally given way and allowed him to ride out alone to check with José and Swann at the mine; daring his son to overdo things. The sawmill was back in operation and they were making the best of a bad job with the timber. Things were slowly getting under control and Ben was hopeful that the profits on the cattle and mining would cover the loss on the timber contracts and part of the cost of rebuilding the flume. If so he thought they could count themselves lucky to get out of the fight with Addison without worse happening.

Ben was sitting by the fire thinking of nothing in particular waiting for supper. Carole and Laura were putting the twins to bed and Peggy was with Adam. He heard someone ride in and was glad to see Little Joe come in. Joe was tired after his first long ride but he hadn’t taken any harm. He sank gratefully down onto the sofa and Ben got him a drink. Joe was very much better but still had a way to go to recover all his strength and rebuild his stamina. He had been away for four days and after very briefly telling his father what he had found, he asked about his eldest brother. Ben smiled “He seems cheerful and he’s regaining his strength, food rarely upsets him now.”

“Has he been using the wheelchair?”

Ben frowned “No. He hasn’t even suggested it.”

Little Joe was surprised, “Adam usually badgers to be up long before he’s strong enough.”

Ben was suddenly worried, he’d been so busy he hadn’t really thought about it, just thankful that his son seemed cheerful. He admitted “I hadn’t thought about it, but you’re right. Maybe he’s not as strong as I’d thought. Still Paul is coming out tomorrow, we’ll see what he says.”

“Is he awake?”

“Yes Peggy is up with him.”

“I think I’ll wander up and see him.”

“Okay supper will be about twenty minutes.”

Joe went upstairs and found Adam was quite cheerful and he looked considerably better than he had four days before. He had much more colour. Adam was pleased to see his little brother and Peggy left them alone. Joe filled his brother in on the news from José and Swann and then said, “I expected to find you up in the wheelchair.” Adam didn’t answer but began talking about the twins. As he obviously didn’t want to discuss the subject Joe avoided it going along with Adam’s choice of subject but he was puzzled. When he went back downstairs he told his father that Adam had avoided the subject, but he couldn’t suggest any reason.

Ben was worried, he had been fairly happy about his son’s state of mind and this came as rather a shock. He went up to find Adam reading poetry and his son wasn’t prepared to discuss anything else. Ben didn’t push his son just sitting chatting until Adam was ready to settle down.

Later in the evening when Adam was sleeping, Ben asked Carole to come outside with him. She was grateful for a breath of fresh air and they wandered down to the corral fence. Ben lent on it and made a fuss of Sport, who came for attention, missing his normal rider. “I wanted to talk about Adam.”

Carole bit her lip, slightly puzzled, “He seems very cheerful, He has enjoyed having the kids here and he and Laura get on well.”

“I know that but Little Joe pointed out that it was surprising that Adam hadn’t insisted on getting up into a wheelchair, he’s normally badgering to be up long before he is strong enough. Joe mentioned it to Adam, but his brother wouldn’t discuss it. Has he said anything to you or indeed discussed the future?”

Carole shook her head “He hasn’t said anything since Will and Laura arrived. He’s much stronger, but I don’t think he has any feeling in his legs. He did say that he won’t marry until he can stand for the ceremony.”

Ben wasn’t surprised, he knew his son very well. He smiled at Carole “I don’t suppose it’s important. Doc is due tomorrow; we’ll see what he has to say. Adam will talk when he’s ready. Considering how badly he was hurt, we have a lot to be grateful for that he is as fit as he is.”

Doc was out early the following morning. He examined Adam thoroughly and was pleased at his progress. He asked Adam several questions about the degree of pain he was having and how much he could do for himself. Then he suggested that Adam get up in the wheelchair. He was strong enough now and could at least move around the house and yard. Paul was very surprised when Adam flatly refused to consider it. He asked Adam why, but got no answer and much puzzled went downstairs.

Ben and Carole were waiting to hear his verdict and Joe joined them. Doc gratefully accepted coffee “Physically he’s much better. He has pains below the site of the injury and most of the reactions in his legs are virtually normal. Yet he can’t feel anything. He should have at least some feeling and a certain capability of movement but he hasn’t and he won’t discuss it. I suggested he at least use the wheelchair, get out and about but he refused point blank and he wouldn’t explain why.”

Ben asked “Do you have any idea why Paul?”

“I guess its reaction from all the strain he’s been under, even before he was hurt.”

“Is he strong enough for me to force him to discuss it?”

Paul thought about that for a minute and then nodded “Yes he is but there’s a risk that you will just drive him further in on himself. Give him a few more days first Ben, see if he can sort it out for himself. Adam’s very logical normally.” Ben nodded and went to get himself a drink while Joe saw Paul out.

Joe stood staring into the fire desperately wanting to help his brother, and eventually he said, “Even if he won’t go in the wheelchair, do you think he’d like a ride in the buggy, just up to the lake?”

Both Ben and Joe knew how often Adam went to the lake to think, get his problems into perspective and Ben knew exactly why Joe was suggesting this trip “It can’t do any harm to ask him Joe.”

Joe headed straight up to his brother’s room. Adam was reading but he put the book down and looked up as his brother came in. Joe grinned “Doc seems pleased with your progress. Carole and I wondered if you’d like to go for a ride in the buggy, have a picnic up by the lake?”

Adam was furious “Why the hell can’t you all just leave me alone, get out.” Then he threw his book at an astonished Little Joe, catching him just below the eye. Joe hastily retreated and went back downstairs mopping his streaming eye where the corner of the book had caught it, Ben saw and hastily went over to his youngest son “What happened to you?”

Joe explained and Ben helped him mop up and examined the inflammation, luckily no real harm was done. Carole wanted to go to Adam but Ben suggested that she had better leave him alone for a bit, until his temper had improved.

At lunchtime Ben took up a tray for Adam, but his son was feeding himself and made it clear that he didn’t want his father to stay, and Ben went along with him. Carole barely touched her own lunch, so worried about Adam and seeing that Joe decided she at least needed a break. He insisted on taking Carole, Laura and the children for the proposed picnic at the lake, to try and take Carole’s mind of things, but it wasn’t exactly a roaring success and they were back soon after four.

Carole went up to see Adam to find him in a chastened mood. He said, “I hope I didn’t hurt Joe. I didn’t really mean to hit him.”

“Joe’s okay. He was only trying to help Adam.”

Adam sighed ruefully “I know my love, that’s all any of you want but you’re not, none of you. Not even you darling. I’m just not fit company for anyone but myself at the moment.”

Carole stared at him horrified “Do you want me to go?”

Adam looked up at her and pleaded for her to understand “Please don’t take it the wrong way. I love you very much but just now I need to be alone.” Somehow Carole found the strength to smile for him and she kissed him gently and then went over to her own room and indulged in a good cry.

For the next couple of days Adam was only willing to see Hoss for a bath and was obviously waiting for everyone else to leave from the moment they entered his room, even the twins couldn’t attract his attention. He wasn’t eating and Ben was fairly sure that he wasn’t sleeping either. After three days of it Ben decided that it couldn’t go on. That evening he went in to fetch Adam’s tray, which was barely touched. Seeing the look on his father’s face Adam said defensively “I wasn’t hungry.”

Ben put the tray on the dressing table and sat down by his son’s bed “You haven’t been hungry for three days.”

“I’m alright Pa, just leave me alone will you.”

Ben sighed heavily “Adam I have left you alone for the last three days, you’re not eating, you’re not sleeping and you’re obviously not alright. Don’t you think its time we had a talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“I think there is and you’re not solving it on your own Adam. For a start why won’t you at least get up either in the wheelchair or let Hoss carry you downstairs? You’re usually only too eager to get up, before you are nearly strong enough, but you could have come down days ago. Secondly the Doc says the reactions in your legs are normal and you have pains in your back below the injury, so your back is obviously a lot better. Why have you no feeling? And then probably most important why all of a sudden can’t you face seeing anyone, not me, your brothers or your fiancée? You’re not even reading. What’s eating at you Son?”

Adam wouldn’t look at his father and after some ten minutes Ben got to his feet, he couldn’t force his son to talk. He had got to the door when Adam said, “Don’t go Pa.”

Ben went back over and sat on the bed gripping Adam’s shoulder and gently circling his thumb, as he had so many times over the years in mute reassurance. Adam lent into his father and shut his eyes. “I don’t know what’s wrong Pa, please help me.”

Ben realised his son was near the end of his tether and he held Adam close gently stroking the hair back off his forehead until he felt Adam relax fractionally. Adam opened his eyes. Ben would have done anything to help but he had no more answers than Adam. All he could suggest was reaction. He said, “I expect it is just reaction Adam. You have had one hell of a time recently. You carried the ranch and your brothers and then before you have a chance to recover from that strain, you were told that Carole was dead and very badly hurt yourself. It would be surprising if there wasn’t some reaction.”

“I don’t know Pa I just feel that if I go in that wheel chair I’ll never leave it.”

“You always have before and Doc thinks you should have some capability of movement even now.”

Adam said bitterly “It’s easy for him to say. I’ve stuck pins in and drawn blood but I don’t feel anything.”

“Give it time Adam. You don’t need to go in the wheelchair but at least let us carry you downstairs for a change of scene.

Adam shook his head “Not yet.”

Ben asked, “Who are you trying to avoid Adam? Is it Laura after what happened before or Carole?”

“No I’m not trying to avoid anyone I’d just rather be on my own.”

Ben said, “It hasn’t done you much good over the last few days.” But Adam wouldn’t budge. Ben did insist that his son take one of the sleeping draughts that Doc had left, maybe Adam would be thinking more clearly after a decent night’s sleep.

Ben went downstairs and joined Joe by the fire; Carole was upset and had gone out for a walk while Laura was up with the twins who were teething and restless. Ben sat staring into the fire and after a while Joe asked “Any luck?”

Ben shook his head “Adam’s upset and confused but he doesn’t know why. He did volunteer the statement that he couldn’t go in the wheelchair, because he was scared he would never leave it again.”

Joe got up restlessly “I’ve been wondering if it’s a sort of mental block. A fear of history repeating itself. He was engaged and then crippled, got the use of his legs back and lost Laura. Now he’s engaged and crippled, maybe he’s scared if he regains the use of his legs he’ll lose Carole. He’d be torn in two because he won’t marry her while he’s crippled.”

Ben sat back and looked up at his youngest son “I must admit I’ve been thinking on similar lines, but even if we are right what do we do about it. He couldn’t admit it to himself and as you say he’s between the devil and deep blue sea and being torn apart.”

Joe shrugged “Maybe if he was sure of Carole…”

Ben shook his head “On a conscious level I’m sure he is. You only have to look at her to know she belongs heart and soul to your brother. These fears I guess are on a different level. Always supposing we’re right.”

Joe went and sat down next to his father, leaning forward, very intense, he said, “We can do one of two things as far as I can see. Either we have to make him face what we think and see how silly it is or in some way shock him into moving. Like you did to me up Eagle’s nest when I couldn’t move, because I was so scared of heights, until I thought I needed the rifle to save you.”

Ben sighed, “Usually there is noone who thinks more clearly than your brother, but just at the moment I think every thing has caught up with him and I don’t think the first alternative will work.”

“Then we have to plan to put him in some situation where he has to move.”

Ben impaled his youngest son on his glare “We will think about it, but you don’t do anything without discussing it first. Is that perfectly clear?”

“I promise Pa. I wouldn’t do anything to put Adam at risk. He’s had it far too rough anyway.” Joe meant every word but he went out to find Carole and explain what they thought might be wrong and enlist her help.

Carole went in to see Adam the following morning. After the discussion she had had with Joe, she’d had a sleepless night and looked tired and drawn. Adam patted the bed and Carole moved over to sit next to him. Even more aware of her near exhaustion at close range, Adam, very worried, said “You look exhausted my love. Have you been lying awake worrying about me?”

At that Carole broke down and Adam gathered her in his arms and she had a good cry on his shoulder, sobbing out all her fears for him and her helplessness when he wouldn’t let her near him to help. It made her feel much better and jolted Adam out of his self pity as he realised that he was being selfish and hurting those who meant the most to him. He held her tight and she gradually calmed down.

Once she had stopped crying Adam lifted her head and tenderly wiped her eyes “I’m so sorry my love. I’ve only been thinking about myself.”

“I didn’t mean to come in and cry all over you. I am supposed to be cheering you up.”

Adam smiled at her “Surprisingly enough my love, you have cheered me up. You have made me remember just how much you love me.” He pulled her close and kissed her soundly. For five minutes they just sat hugging each other, as Adam nuzzled her hair and kissed her in a way he hadn’t since his injury. Eventually Adam lent back against the pillows and said “Little Joe said something about a picnic up at the Lake. How about going this afternoon? You and me, with Joe, Laura and the kids.”

Carole hesitated, “Are you well enough?”

“I’m fine and I feel like some fresh air.” He kissed her again “Go wash your face darling and get Laura to help you pack some food. Would you send Joe in to see me, I owe him an apology.” Carole stood up feeling happier than she had in days and kissed him before she went out.

A couple of minutes later Joe came in to see his brother and Adam apologised for throwing the book at him. Joe grinned “No harm done, but choose a lighter one next time not one of those heavy tomes of yours!”

Adam relaxed, he had known that his brother wouldn’t hold it against him, but even so it felt better to be back on terms with his little brother. Then he turned to business “You’re no Hoss and even with the girls’ help you won’t manage my weight, so you’d better bring that wheelchair and take the wagon with the ramp.”

Joe hesitated, knowing how much this was costing his brother “Are you sure?”

“Yeah I’ll need to use the wheelchair for a couple of weeks, until I can walk.” Joe grinned delightedly and punched his brother gently on the shoulder “Welcome back.”
Then he ran down to tell his father just what Adam had said.

Adam lent back against the pillows and shut his eyes for a minute. He knew his fears were unreasonable but that didn’t make them any less real and it was only his love for Carole, which gave him the mental strength to ignore them. He was glad of five minutes alone to get a firm grip on himself and when the door opened, he sat up with some trepidation. Adam gave a soft sigh of relief to see it was just his father. Ben gave him a small brandy before lifting him into the wheelchair. He gripped Adam’s shoulder “I’m very proud of you son and I’m sure that it won’t be long before you are walking.”

Adam found his father’s praise more warming than the brandy and he slowly relaxed after the pain of being moved and let his father push him down the ramp, which Joe had managed to find.

Peggy was delighted to see Adam downstairs and insisted on pushing him out to see the horse Joe had found for her while she was there. It was a pinto, like Cochise and a beautiful animal. She chattered away all the time and Adam just relaxed and let it flow over him, at least Peggy made no demands on him and at that moment that suited him fine.

The cavalcade set off for the lake, Joe taking it very slow not wanting to shake his brother more than absolutely necessary. Even so when they reached the Lake Joe decided his brother needed some time to recover quietly before eating. Joe enlisted Laura’s support and they took the three children off to explore leaving Adam and Carole alone. Joe had carefully pushed the wheelchair down the ramp onto the ground before he went. Once they were alone Adam asked Carole to push him out on to the point and the asked “Can you help me out of this chair. I want to sit on the ground.” Carole was more than willing to try and with her help Adam managed to lower himself down and slid into his own spot and lent back. The very earth seemed to welcome him; he had sat, just there, so many times, over the long years since they had first made their home on the Ponderosa. He looked up at Carole and pulled a face “Very undignified.”

Carole just laughed and kissed him, before settling down next to him and they let the peace and grandeur of the scenery perform its magic, everything seemed to fall into perspective. Eventually Adam said “I promised you an impression of the way I envisage our house so we can decide on a site. I’ll start on that when we get back. You must tell me if you don’t like anything.”

Carole took this as a signal that the future was no longer a taboo subject and asked where he intended them to honeymoon. Adam had flirted with the idea of going to Europe but after all the money they were going to lose that year, he didn’t like to spend more and anyway he wasn’t too sure how fit he would be. Very tentatively he said, “Would a trip back East to meet your folks and maybe visit New York and Boston meet with your approval?”

Carole was delighted and let it show and Adam pulled her close. “I had thought of going to Europe and one day we will take a trip, but I’d rather not go just yet.”

“As long as I can introduce you to my parents, I don’t care what else we do. Anyway we can’t stay away too long we have a house to build and furnish.” Adam lay back and watched her as she tried to think out the number of rooms and the furnishings they would need. He appreciated again just how beautiful she was and as she talk excitedly about her own family and what they would think of him, a decision he had been thinking about was very easily made.

When Joe brought Laura and the kids back the two women got the food out. Adam was hungry for the first time in days and he made a good meal. They all lazed back after the food while Peggy climbed some trees and the twins, who were just beginning to crawl, scrabbled at the earth amusing the four adults.

Eventually Joe, with a little help from Carole lifted his brother back into the wheelchair and got it up on the wagon and headed home. Adam was tired out after the fresh air and Joe took him straight to his room. Ben had followed his son up and between them Ben and Joe got him to bed. Adam smiled sleepily up at his father “I really am alright now Pa or at least I soon will be so don’t worry. Tomorrow we’ll make out the guest list.” Ben tucked his son up and kissed his forehead so thankful and then left Adam to sleep.

Two days later Adam called Ben into his room where he was sitting up in the chair and proudly demonstrated his newly found ability to waggle his toes. Ben was delighted and soon the room was full as Joe and Laura came in to see what all the noise was about.

Adam missed Carole and he wheeled himself over to the room she was using. Carole was on the bed, sobbing her heart out with relief. Adam went in and said “Come here darling.” Carole slipped onto his lap and buried her face on his shoulder. Adam gently rubbed her back calming her down and when the sobs had eased he pushed her back slightly and wiped her face “Easy does it my love. You have too much to do to waste time crying.”

Carole frowned slightly not understanding and Adam kissed her “It’s time we named a day.”

She looked disbelievingly at him and Adam went on “We need at least three weeks to have the banns read, and any time after that I’ll guarantee to stand and wait for you to become my wife.” Carole came into his arms and Adam held her very tight. Eventually she pulled away breathless, looking radiant. Adam smiled at her “I know the last few weeks have been very hard on you and my selfishness hasn’t helped, but I will make it up to you, I promise.”

Carole was busily thinking out loud, planning what needed doing and she finally settled on the Saturday, six and a half weeks ahead. “It’s the last Saturday before Laura and Will leave and we want them here, but it gives you a reasonable time to recover.”

“Sounds good to me Darling. We’d better tell the others, then you can all start plotting.”

Carole wheeled him downstairs and then Adam asked his father, Joe and Laura to come over to the fire and asked his brother to fetch Hop Sing. Ben and Joe both guessed from the expressions on Adam and Carole’s face what was in the air, but they waited for Adam to explain. Adam grinned broadly “I’d like to issue an invitation for a wedding on Saturday August 5th.”

Ben was delighted and went over to offer his congratulations while Little Joe went and poured drinks all round. When they were all sitting round the fire Joe asked, “Where is it going to be?”

Adam looked questioningly at Carole with all their other discussions they hadn’t touched on that point. She had always thought in terms of a church wedding but she felt that would only add to the strain, on Adam and so she said “If its feasible I would like to be married here.”

Ben was delighted and Adam was pleased, he knew just how much his father had wanted it and if he was still not fully fit it would be easier on him as well. Carole saw how pleased they both were and she was glad she had made that concession. Soon they were all talking at once; making plans but Adam just sat back and watched. Eventually Ben moved over next to his son’s wheelchair “It’s not long Adam, are you sure you’ll be well enough?”

Adam smiled up at his father “At the worst I have to be married in this chair but I’m pretty sure I can be back on my feet, six weeks is a fair time. Anyway we couldn’t leave it any longer Will and Laura are leaving three days later.”

Eventually Adam said “Little Joe will you drive me up to the sawmill and lumber camp. I want to tell Hoss and Will myself.” It was a long way and Joe looked questioningly at his father before answering, Ben nodded and so Joe grinned “Willingly. We won’t get any sense out of Carole and Laura now they’ve started discussing a trousseau.”

The brothers had lunch and then set out. For a while they drove in silence and then Joe said “What do you want as a wedding present?”

Adam laughed “I can hardly believe that it’s all going to come true at last.”

Joe gripped his brother’s arm “We knew she’d never let you down. I thoroughly approve of my sister-in-law.”

Adam said “I’m glad but I wouldn’t give a damn if you didn’t.”

“Of course not, but you haven’t answered my question.”

“I promise I’ll think about it Joe, but can you do one thing for me? Go into town and wire her parents I’ll give you the address. See if they will accept a return ticket from Boston to here as part of my present to Carole. I’d love to surprise her on her wedding day with her parents’ presence.”

“Of course I will Adam, no problem. Any excuse for a trip to town.” Adam punched his brother’s shoulder at the broad grin.

When they reached the sawmill they found they were in luck as Hoss had come down to see how Will was getting on. They were both surprised, but pleased to see Adam, even if he was in the wheelchair. When Adam explained his errand, Hoss in particular was delighted, knowing it also meant his brother was well on the way to recovery or he wouldn’t have named the day.

After a while once all the congratulations had been said and things had calmed down Adam asked how they were managing without the flume. On the way up he and Joe had stopped at one point where the flume could be seen with its two large breaks. Hoss had to admit that it was hard going. He had opposed the flume when Adam first proposed it, but later he’d become its firmest supporter. Now having had the use of it for two years it came very hard to use traditional methods to move the lumber. Adam wanted a closer look at the breaks but it was far too rough to try and take the wheelchair and his brothers unanimously vetoed any attempt to go without it. Both Hoss and Joe were concerned, thinking that Adam looked tired anyway, and it was still a long way home. Joe said as much but Adam just laughed at them, he was fine. It didn’t do him any good and for once he had to submit to his brothers and let Joe take him on home.

The next day Joe headed into town on Adam’s errand. Adam had authorised Joe to tell Dan the date of the wedding, although the invitations wouldn’t be out for a couple of days and news quickly spread round town. While Joe was in the telegraph office carrying out Adam’s orders Philip and Dan put their heads together to try and think of a suitable wedding present. Philip had come up with an idea for a joint present from many of Adam’s friends, which Dan described as positively inspired. Dan canvassed around and found plenty of people who were prepared to come in on the scheme and when Joe came out of the telegraph office Dan met him and insisted he needed to talk.

Puzzled Joe went along with the reporter and Dan took him over to the Palace saloon. To Joe’s surprise the saloon was full to bursting point, and a number of the people there weren’t normal denizens of that bar. There were miners, cowboys, business men and the Chinese were well represented. As Joe looked round, he found that he knew everyone there and he looked questioningly at Dan. Dan called for quiet and then took Joe into one corner. He passed Joe a beer and then asked, “What is the worst remaining effect of that fight?”

Joe frowned, wondering where this was going, “Well Adam’s not back on his feet yet, otherwise it’s the flume.”

Dan grinned broadly “Precisely!” he sat back as though that explained everything and then realising that Joe was still looking blank, he went on “Adam designed that flume and I’ll bet he’s fretting because it’s out of action.”

Joe nodded, but he still didn’t see where Dan was going. Philip gave up on Dan ever explaining things clearly and broke in “We have decided to rebuild it for him as a wedding present. Then he can go off on his honeymoon with a clear conscience and not think that as the engineer of the family he ought to hang around here to mend it.”

Little Joe sat back and demanded a whisky, but by the time it arrived the beauty of the scheme had reached him and he was grinning widely. Philip said “All these guys are friends of his and want to give him something, but he doesn’t lack for much. So they’ll give a day or so of their time to rebuild his flume.”

Joe waved for silence and said, “I don’t know whose idea this was but its brilliant. I can’t think of anything that would please Adam more. He was up there yesterday, fretting because he couldn’t examine the damage as he’s still stuck in a wheelchair. Official invitations will be out in a few weeks but all of you keep Saturday August 5th clear. We’re having the biggest shindig this place has ever seen out at the Ponderosa and you’re all invited.”

This raised a large cheer and then Philip said, “Come over to my office Joe we need to discuss details.” Philip was going to take time off and control the actual building but he needed Joe to get him Adam’s original plans or an accurate copy. He also wanted the list of supplies that he had drawn up in the immediate aftermath of the fight. Philip had already arranged for the timber to be cut in town, so that the Cartwright’s own mill could carry on catching up the lost time.

The other major problem was to keep it a secret from Adam, which meant he had to be kept from anywhere he could see the flume until his wedding day. Joe just grinned they would cope. He’d enlist help from the rest of the family and Carole and Laura. Since Adam couldn’t go anywhere on his own, away from the main house, without help while he was tied to the wheelchair, Joe was sure they could manage. Joe was still grinning very broadly, knowing how much it would mean to his brother, to learn just how many people cared enough for him to give time and effort to give him a wedding present. On top of that there was the enormous benefit to the ranch of having the flume repaired and just how much it would ease the strain on his father.

Philip shook his head “Adam’s only going to have to take one look at you and he’ll know you’re up to something.”

“Of course he will but he’ll be expecting it and he won’t know what. I’ve waited a long time for my brother’s wedding!” Joe rode home savouring the prospect of telling his father and dispelling half his troubles in one fell swoop. He also had success to report to Adam. The King’s lived near the telegraph office and Mr King had replied before Joe left town. They had known of Carole’s engagement and were only too pleased to come and see her and find out about her new life. At first Mr King hadn’t wanted to take any money, but Joe had insisted that his brother wanted to reimburse them for all their expenses. It was part of his wedding present to his bride.

Ben was busy when Joe got home so he went up to tell Adam how he had got on. Laura and Carole were buried in dress patterns and Joe shooed them out saying he wanted to talk to Adam. Adam was very pleased to find that Joe had been successful and he made plans to get Beth to put them up until the actual day. Adam could see that his little brother was up to something but he didn’t bother to ask for details, as he knew this time he wouldn’t get any and in many ways he didn’t want to know.

Joe said, “They are talking about staying for a fortnight and then going on to visit San Francisco.”

“That sounds good little brother. Carole and I will stay until they leave and then we are going back east for a visit, provided I’m fit enough.” Adam noticed the sudden concern on his brother’s face and grinned, in this he could read Joe like a book. “Easy Joe, it will be a fairly short visit I’ll trust you and Hoss to oversee the building of the shell of my new home from my plans, but when it comes to the finishing touches I want to do those myself.” Joe grinned content. If Adam was going to build then he wouldn’t leave. Adam was tired and he had his supper on a tray in his room, much to Joe’s relief.

Little Joe was bubbling with excitement all through supper but he wouldn’t say anything, he wanted to get his father on his own and tell him first. Joe knew everyone would have to know apart from Adam, if it was to be kept from his brother, but that was for tomorrow. After coffee Joe asked his father to come for a ride and it was fairly obvious to Ben that he wasn’t going to get any answers from his son without going along, so he accepted. As they saddled their horses Ben asked “Why the ride?”

Joe grinned “I thought you could do with some fresh air.” Puzzled and intrigued Ben went along with his son and Little Joe headed out for the nearest spot to the house, from which the flume was visible. When it was in sight Joe stopped and dismounted. Ben did the same and then said, “For heaven’s sake tell me what this is all about Joseph.”

Joe waved at the flume “The flume is a living marvel isn’t it. The way Adam sat down and drew up plans and made it come alive.”

Ben frowned “Just at the moment it’s a gigantic white elephant! Why have you brought me out here to look at it? I know there are two great holes in it. I don’t need to see them.”

Little Joe grinned very broadly “Well Pa how would you like to have it repaired for you over the next few weeks?”

Ben wasn’t quite sure what to make of that statement “Go on.” Little Joe explained just what had happened in town and what Adam’s friends were planning. For a long moment Ben didn’t sat a word, just staring over at the flume, and then he said, “I can’t think of anything, which would please your brother more.” Slowly the reality of what Joe had said penetrated and Ben gave a loud whoop, picked up his youngest son and swung him round “That’s some gift and it’s a gift to all of us. Come on let’s go tell Hoss.” Joe was more than willing and a very happy pair headed on up to the sawmill to fill Hoss and Will in on the plan.

As they rode Joe filled in some more details especially the wide range of people who wanted to do something for his brother. Ben had always known that his eldest son was held in high regard, but even so he was surprised and he couldn’t help wonder, just how many little odd bits of help Adam had given over the years and not thought worth mentioning at home. Some had reached Ben and he had always respected his son’s reticence, but it all added to the immense pride he had in his son.

At the house Adam heard them ride out and was surprised when Carole told him that his father had gone out for a ride. He was worried that it meant trouble but Carole shook her head. “No. Joe was up to something but he looked very pleased with himself. He said they wouldn’t be back until late. One thing I am sure about, whatever it was Joe was hiding, it was something nice.” Adam relaxed at that and with Carole’s help began to prepare guest lists. They had to produce two, one of close friends to attend the ceremony and the wedding breakfast and the other of people who would join them in the late afternoon and evening for the biggest party the Ponderosa had ever thrown.

Adam was in two minds who to ask to be best man; both his brothers meant so much to him that he was loath to choose between them even on a relatively minor matter. The alternative was to ask one of his friends or his cousin. If Ross had still been alive he would have been the obvious choice but none of his other friends were that close, and he had acted as best man for half a dozen of them. Adam kept putting off the choice, there was time yet and maybe something would clarify his thoughts. Carole was having Peggy and the young daughter of the minister, who were about the same age, as her bridesmaids. Carole was insisting on paying for her own trousseau. She had saved a fair amount of her salary and could afford it. As they planned the wedding the evening flew past and eventually Adam, very contented, fell asleep. Carole eased a couple of pillows out from behind him and tucked him up before leaving him to rest with a kiss on the forehead.

Hoss and Will were both delighted at the unexpected help and promised to give Philip any assistance they could and remember not to let Adam know anything about it. Hoss grinned very broadly at his father “I told you we couldn’t lose while we had so many good friends, now they won’t even let us make a loss!”

Considering all their problems, everything at the sawmill and lumber camp was running reasonably smoothly and Ben knew that with the flume available for the last half of the cutting season, they could more than break even. He was more at peace than he had been all year as he rode home with his youngest son, through the beautiful land that they’d made their own.

For the next three weeks Adam spent most of his time planning his wedding and his house. Joe went into town every few days with his brother’s instructions, to order everything from furnishings to flowers. The ranch was running smoothly and Ben had relaxed, now he no longer had to worry about the flume. Philip was well on the way to repairing it with his army of volunteers. It allowed Ben to spend a fair amount of time with Adam looking through catalogues, or getting measurements for his son, as Adam completed the plans for his new home. Ben was very pleased with his son’s progress. Adam seemed at peace with himself and happy, although his physical recovery was slow. Adam could move his legs slightly now and it was obvious to Ben that it was only a matter of time before Adam made a full recovery.

Carole and Laura kept appearing with odd shaped pieces of material and were doing a great deal of sowing as they made the wedding dress and the two bridesmaids dresses. The whole house had an atmosphere of excitement as various groups tried to hide secrets from the rest. Little Joe had just about regained his stamina and was in his element, involved with every group, even giving advice, not requested, on the dresses. He was thoroughly enjoying himself and on the go from morning to night, Twice he had the job of keeping Adam away from where he could see the flume and had to use a very roundabout route to the lake much to Adam’s bewilderment. Joe’s excuses got weaker and weaker until both brothers were laughing and Adam had to plead for mercy. It still hurt to laugh so much.

Hoss and Will spent more time at the house, as things were going well. There was a great deal of discussion about the choice of wedding presents. Ben knew what he was giving his son. He had had it hidden away for the last three years. It was a painting of the view over Lake Tahoe and it had been executed by Healy, who was famous for his painting of Lincoln. Healy had stayed with them while Adam was in Europe and Ben had asked him to paint it, intending to send it to Adam. While Ben was waiting for the oils to harden to ensure no damage was done in transit Adam had returned to the Ponderosa and Ben had put the painting away. Will had already arranged to have a dinner and tea service sent out from Frisco, but Joe and Hoss couldn’t make up their minds.

One evening Joe was leafing through catalogues. Hoss had to go to Frisco the following day to finalise a few details and he was going to pick up both his own and Joe’s presents, provided Joe had made up his mind. Hoss was upstairs helping Adam have a bath and Ben sat by Joe giving advice, which Joe termed useless, until Joe turned and threw the catalogues at his father. Ben laughed and went out to get fresh coffee and when he came back found his son staring at a catalogue of poetry books. Ben was puzzled but Joe pointed to one particular edition “They do a special tooled leather edition all matching and they put on any marks you ask for. I was thinking of getting some with the Ponderosa brand on them, for his study.” Joe looked anxiously at his father but Ben grinned broadly “I think that’s an excellent idea, They have similar tastes in books so it will be a joint present.”

Joe frowned "That’s the problem, what to choose. I sort of know what Adam has but I haven’t got a clue about Carol’s library. I would just bet she has one.”

“I don’t know Son but if anyone can help you it will be Dan. I’ll bet that he has borrowed extensively from both of them.” Almost before Ben had finished speaking Joe had jumped to his feet saying, “Don’t wait up Pa, I may be late!” as he ran out to saddle Cochise and head for town.

Joe rode home triumphant late that night, having ordered a list of twenty four individual poetry books, each a single poet and a complete set of Shakespeare plays as Dan thought Adam only had a decrepit complete edition; including the sonnets that meant another thirty eight books. At two dollars fifty cents each book including the fancy binding and the brand it had made hole in Joe’s personal account but he was pleased with his idea. When Hoss realised that he was supposed to collect sixty-two books from Frisco he wasn’t so pleased, but he knew his eldest brother would be delighted, and so he found himself giving in. Hoss still had no idea what to get but intended looking around in Frisco. He would be away for a fortnight and when he got back the wedding would only be a week away. Still there were jobs that needed to be done, even with a wedding imminent, there was still a ranch to run.

Over the next week the planning reached a peak as final orders went out for food, drink and everything else they needed to make it a perfect day. Then the activity seemed to reach a plateau. It would be a few days before things began arriving and there was no more to do until that happened. With time to take stock, Ben realised that his eldest son had gradually become more and more withdrawn over the last week, Ben decided to see if Adam wanted to go up to the lake, it might induce his son to talk. Adam welcomed the offer, they had all been too busy to take him out and he couldn’t go alone. Ben drove the long way round to the Lake. The flume was virtually completed and Adam mustn’t see it yet, but Adam didn’t even comment. Once they arrived Ben lifted his son down off the buckboard and over to his usual spot. Adam lay back staring at the magnificent trees round Marie’s grave. His father had always cared for them and they seemed to respond by growing tall and straight, a pathway to heaven as Hoss had once described them. Ben cleared the graves almost automatically and then sat back watching his eldest son. Gradually the peace of that spot percolated into Adam and he relaxed. Ben risked commenting “You have been getting very tense the last couple of days.”

Adam could only accept that but he shrugged “Guess I needed my weekly dose of the Lake.”

Ben asked, “Is there anything wrong, do you want to talk?”

Adam grinned up sleepily “Don’t worry Pa I’m fine. I get married to a wonderful woman in sixteen days and everything will be just great.”

Ben wasn’t convinced, he could see the shadow of something in his son’s eyes, something was worrying Adam. Still the trip seemed to have calmed Adam down and Ben knew from years of experience that he couldn’t force Adam to talk if he didn’t want to. It was probably just normal tenseness before a complete change in his life; he had been a bachelor a long time.

Adam kept up a good front when in company but on his own he was fretting, with only two weeks to go, he seemed little closer to standing unaided, than he had been five weeks earlier when they had settled on a date. One morning in the early hours, unable to sleep Adam tried to pull himself erect on the bedstead but his legs kept giving way on him. Three times he pulled himself up, but even holding on he couldn’t stand up, let alone release his hold. His legs were just not strong enough, buckling at the knees. He was in a crumpled heap on the floor when Little Joe came in. Joe had heard the thuds as Adam fell and decided to investigate. Joe went over to his brother and lifted Adam to sit up against him. Adam sat staring unseeingly in front of him and Joe worried about him said “I’ll help you into bed.” Adam shook his head decisively “No help me up. I will stand.” Joe wanted to argue but one look at the expression on his brother’s face convinced him of the futility of that. He pulled Adam to his feet and then with one arm round his brother’s waist and Adam’s arm round his shoulders Joe did his best to take Adam’s weight. Even with Joe’s help, Adam’s legs were buckling and he allowed Joe to ease him down into the wheelchair. For a few moments neither brother spoke, then Adam said “Wheel me across to your room Joe. I’ve missed the view of the mountains, Pa’s room faces the wrong way and it’ll soon be dawn.” Joe did as he was asked and took Adam over to the window. Adam sat staring out, mixed anger and frustration clear on his face.

Eventually Joe said, “It’s just too soon Adam. You’re not strong enough. It will be alright in a bit.”

Adam wouldn’t look at his brother but he said “I haven’t got time, the wedding is only two weeks. I can’t even stand for five seconds and the ceremony is at least a quarter of an hour.”

Little Joe knew how important it seemed to Adam to be able to stand at least for the ceremony, but he tried to point out that Carole wouldn’t care.

Adam buried his face in his hands “I can’t risk it Joe. I know I’m better, but even now there’s no guarantee I’ll ever walk again.”

Joe gripped his shoulders “That’s nonsense. Of course you’ll walk, Doc isn’t even quoting odds, he just says that it will take time. Don’t forget that bullet injured your stomach too. You hardly ate for two weeks; it’s not surprising that you’re still weak. That’s all it is Adam, just weakness.”

Adam didn’t look at all convinced and he bit his lip “Maybe I ought to postpone the wedding.”

“Come on brother. A lot of people have made a lot of arrangements, not least Carole and Pa. You even have her parents coming. You can’t change it now Adam, even if you are married in that chair.”

Adam close to breaking down shook his head “I won’t be. I won’t…”

Joe moved closer and tightened his grip on Adam’s shoulders “Easy Adam. I know how you feel, you want everything perfect, but surely the important thing is to join together two people who are very much in love. Would it matter so much?”

Adam didn’t answer but slowly Joe felt him relax slightly and eventually he turned the chair round to face Joe. Adam grinned ruefully “You’re right little brother. I’m making a mountain out of a molehill. We continue as planned, even if I am stuck in this.”

Joe grinned at him and then decided while he was pushing his luck he might as well carry on he said, “I know I’m butting in, but you’ve never said who you want as a best man. Maybe you have already decided but I just think it ought to be Hoss.”

“Why in particular?”

“Couple of reasons. He’s the oldest of us and I know he’d be delighted and if you are back on your feet and need a little unobtrusive help then Hoss’ strength would be useful.”

To Joe’s relief Adam smiled “I had half decided to ask Will rather than choose between you two but now, if that’s how you feel, I agree.”

Joe stood up decisively “Right having put my two cents in, will you please go back to bed? It’s small wonder you’re not regaining your strength, if you lie awake worrying about it.”

Adam laughed wryly “You do me good Joe. I think I’ll sleep now.” Joe got his brother back to bed and then as he came out Ben called him. Ben had heard voices and worried about Adam he had got up, but decided that Joe was doing a good job and he had left his sons alone. Joe went into join his father in the room Ben was using and seeing the concern on his father’s face he tried to reassure him “Adam’s okay Pa. Just cross with his own weakness. He was trying to stand and can’t manage it yet.”

“He doesn’t want to postpone the wedding, does he?” Ben asked anxiously.

Joe shook his head “He’d like to stand for the ceremony but it’s not that important.” Ben guessed that Joe had been using his silver tongue to persuade his eldest brother, but he didn’t push for details.

Carole was up very early, she couldn’t help worrying about Adam, knowing him so well and loving him so much, she had seen behind the mask and knew he was getting increasingly tense. She had been unable to persuade Adam to talk and had spent a large proportion of the night staring out of the window, unable to sleep. Like Ben she had heard voices but didn’t have the confidence to ask, either Ben or Joe, what had been going on. Adam himself was sleeping late and having looked in on him, Carole went down for coffee.

Ben was still sitting over breakfast and he could see the tiredness in his son’s fiancée, as Carole walked over to the table. Wordlessly he passed coffee and waited until she had relaxed with the cup “Do you want some breakfast?”

“No thank you Mr Cartwright, I’m not hungry.”

Ben lent back in his chair “If I may be so bold Carole, you look exhausted. I may be wrong but I would guess you didn’t sleep well. Worried about Adam maybe?”

Carole looked up seeing the concern in the dark eyes and, for a moment, she could only think how alike Ben and his eldest son were, something that had never struck her before. “He’s been getting very tense and he won’t talk to me.”

Ben got up from his chair and moved behind her gently gripping her shoulder “I think you might find he is better today. He’s just impatient, because he is not gaining his strength as rapidly as he would like. Paul is very pleased at how quickly he is recovering but it’s never fast enough for Adam.”

Carole pulled away, slightly hurt, that Adam would talk to his father but not to her. She didn’t say anything, but Ben could read it on her face, as Carole moved over to the fire and sat down. He could understand the feeling and he followed her “Adam finally opened up to Joe last night.”

Carole looked up in surprise at that and Ben sat down facing her “It really doesn’t matter, as long as someone can help. Joe caught him trying to stand up and too weak to manage it.”

Carole blinked angrily, determined not to cry, “Does he want to postpone the wedding?”

Ben shook his head “No Joe got him to realise that it won’t matter that much if he’s in the chair. He will be fine, it’s just a matter of time.”

“Mr Cartwright I would marry him even if I knew he’d never leave the wheelchair. He is a very special man. I want children but if it were a choice of someone else and children or Adam, then it would have to be Adam. I faced the idea of living without him when he was so ill and I can’t do it.”

“Adam will be fine, child.” Ben went over and kissed her forehead “Now you are going to be my daughter in a couple of weeks, don’t you think it’s time you called me Pa, like the boys?”

Carole smiled a little watery and brushed her hand across her eyes but her voice was firm “I’d like that Pa. My own father was always Dad and I miss him, it will be nice to have a Pa here in Nevada.”

“Right then I am going to exert the privileges of a father. I think you should go back upstairs and take a nap. Adam is still asleep, and when he wakes up, I’d like him to have his girl at her beautiful best.” Carole could only accept the sense of that and she got to her feet, kissing Ben’s cheek, she headed back upstairs.

When Carole woke again nearly three hours later, she washed and then went to check Adam to find he was just stirring. By the time she had fetched coffee he was awake and had hitched himself up in the bed. Adam pulled her close and kissed her soundly and laughingly Carole pulled away rubbing her hand over his heavy beard “I guess I’m going to have to get used to being scrabbled in the morning.”

Adam nodded grinning broadly “You will. I’ll try and keep clean shaven, but I’m afraid I can’t wait for my first kiss until after morning ablutions!” Carole came back for seconds, just to show she didn’t mind, and then hearing Joe in the corridor she called him to help get his brother up. Once Adam was downstairs and fed, he called Carole over to the table and laid out the plans he had drawn up for their new home.

Adam was thinking on a large scale and had drawn up plans for a ten bedroom house, with the largest room having connecting doors through to a second bedroom which he hoped would become the nursery and on the other side to a separate washroom cum dressing room. Downstairs there was a large kitchen connected to separate living quarters and storage areas. The main room was almost as large as the one in the main house but Adam had designed a separate dining room and a study, and even a playroom for the children he wanted. He had even planned a covered way out to the stables, fed up with getting soaked while seeing to the animals in winter. Carole was puzzled by the plans at first, but Adam sketched out various views for her as he talked her through it and the house seemed to come to life in front of her eyes. It was far bigger than she had expected and, although it sounded marvellous, she had visions of endless days spent cleaning. Very tentatively Carole mentioned her fear and Adam laughed, pulling her close “Why do you think I designed living quarters off the kitchen? We will have a housekeeper. Unfortunately we can’t take Hop Sing but you’d better start thinking. Do you want a woman or someone like him?”

Carole asked, “Which would you prefer?”

Adam shook his head “It has to be your choice my love. If I am working away from home or even out on the range during the day, you’re the one who will spend most time with him or her. I must still do my share of the work round here.”

Carole smiled “I wouldn’t have it any other way!” She sipped her coffee and thought about the possibilities. In some way the idea of another woman was attractive but she decided that it was more likely to get on her nerves and anyway, round the woman starved Virginia City, she could see herself setting up as a marriage mart. Eventually she said, “I think we ought to ask Hop Sing if he can find us someone.”

Adam had left the choice up to her and would have gone along whatever she decided but he was very pleased by her choice, he really didn’t want another woman around. He was even more pleased that she would trust Hop Sing’s choice. The little Chinaman had been part of his life since Joe was a baby and, to Adam’s mind was part of his family, but he knew that their attitude wasn’t common and he was delighted at the way Carole accepted him. He grinned broadly “I’ll have a word with Hop Sing. I’m sure he has some relative who’d be perfect.”

Hop Sing over heard out in the kitchen and he was pleased. He had already decided that Miss Carole was just about good enough to have one of his boys and now he began to think she would be just right for number one son. He began going through in his own mind the people he knew and quickly decided on the man who was in his opinion, just about good enough to work for his beloved Cartlights.

Having decided to go through with the wedding in two weeks, regardless of his physical condition, Adam relaxed and gave up worrying. He began to enjoy the build up and good naturedly went along, as Joe descended on his chair from time to time and hurriedly pushed him through to the kitchen, when someone or something arrived that they didn’t want him to see. The house was getting increasingly complicated with no go areas for both Adam and Carole. The room Ben was using was out of bounds as the various wedding presents were being stored in there as they arrived. Adam wasn’t allowed in Carole’s room where the dresses were taking shape, her own hanging nearly finished. His own old room was also forbidden but an awful lot of banging was taking place in there. Everyone seemed to be having whispered conversations, which stopped as Adam approached and he wasn’t innocent himself as he plotted with Joe. Adam had Hoss carrying out an errand for him in Frisco; Hoss was collecting a set of jewellery that Adam had ordered for Carole. It was a diamond and sapphire set, necklace, bracelet and earrings. Adam had ordered it to match her engagement ring and had drawn up the designs himself, not wanting anything too flashy, but had specified fine stones and it had set him back more than two thousand dollars.

Ten days before the wedding, the other half of his present to Carole arrived in town. Joe had arranged for them to stay with Beth and she sent word to them that Mr and Mrs King had arrived. Adam wanted to go into town and meet them but Ben wouldn’t allow it. Although better, it was still much to long a journey for his son. Adam was furious but Joe pointed out that Carole would be sure to find out that he had gone to town and would want to know why. Adam accepted that and calmed down and Ben gave his youngest son a grateful look. Adam had to accept Joe’s offer to go to town and greet them on his behalf. Ben suggested that they enlist Laura’s help. If she could take Carole into town shopping, then Joe could bring Mr and Mrs King to the ranch for the day, while Carole was out of the way. Adam was satisfied by that idea and immediately called Laura over and asked her to take him outside.

Adam explained what he wanted Laura to do and why. Laura had grown fond of Carole and she was delighted for her new friend, knowing just how much Carole was missing her parents. She smiled at Adam “That typifies why you will make such a good husband. She’s a lucky woman.” To her surprise Adam’s face clouded over and he turned his chair away staring up at the mountains “Am I doing the right thing Laura? Going through with it while I’m tied to this.” He hit the wheelchair almost angrily and sighed heavily before going on “The Doc could be wrong and then I’m tying her to a cripple. You know marriage is more than a meeting of minds and I’m not much use to her at the moment.”

Laura moved over next to him taking his hand “I know Carole would marry you even if it meant no children and that you’d always be crippled, she loves you very much. But why so pessimistic? You are a little better every day. We can all see it. It’s only a case of getting your strength back and even now things don’t tire you as they did. You know you’ll get back on your feet soon. The Doc has no hesitation in confirming it, so why worry?”

Adam brought her hand to his lips and kissed it “I’m beginning to think I’m a born worrier.”

Laura laughed “Just pre-wedding nerves.”

Adam laughed “Nope, just scared of meeting my in-laws.”

Joe was going into town to meet them that afternoon and Ben suggested that he invite them out the day after tomorrow. It was Friday and Hoss was due back that day as well. He had already telegraphed to say that all his business was completed successfully and when Jot took Carole’s parents back to town he could collect his brother. Laura was quite happy to fit in with that and so Joe headed for town.

Mr and Mrs King were highly puzzled about the man their daughter was marrying. On the stagecoach for the final leg of their journey from the East, their fellow passengers had been quite willing to talk about the Ponderosa. However they only knew Adam by repute and all that the King’s learnt was that their future son-in-law was one of the fastest guns outside the professional ranks. They found that very worrying, especially as they were also told a garbled but bloody story of the fight a few weeks earlier. They were used to the quiet of the east and Mr King at least was willing to give Adam the benefit of the doubt, things were different in the West, but his wife wasn’t so sure. In her letters Carole had said that he was a lawyer and had studied law in Europe, that he played classical guitar and read poetry. Somehow it didn’t fit and when they asked Beth she confused them even more by saying that Adam was an engineer. She did confirm the story of the fight and told them Adam was still in a wheelchair because of it. On their own later that evening Mrs King was scathing “A fine catch! A gunslinging crippled dilettante rancher.” Her husband said, “Carole’s old enough to know her own mind so wait until you meet him before you judge him. He was decent enough to invite us out here.”

The following afternoon Little Joe arrived and Beth brought him in and introduced him, then excused herself to get tea. Little Joe said, “Adam’s sorry he can’t get to town to greet you himself, but as you’ve probably heard, he’s not fully recovered from an injury he got a few weeks back. He asked me to come in his place, to welcome you to Virginia City.”

Mr King smiled at the young cowboy “It was very decent of him to invite us out for the wedding.”

“Well Adam wants his own family around on such an occasion. Its only right that Carole should have hers too.”

Mrs King could appreciate the young man’s good looks and if the brothers looked alike she could understand why her daughter might have fallen for Adam but she was still worried. She asked “Can you tell us something about your brother. We seem to be getting conflicting reports and he sounds somewhat of a dilettante.”

She hadn’t expected the young cowboy to really understand the word, Joe might be charming and good-looking, but in his normal working clothes dusty from the ride, he looked like all the other cowboys. Little Joe pokered up at her question and she realised her mistake. Joe bit his lip fighting to keep hold of his temper and he spoke very quietly “I can’t think of many words, which would be less accurate in describing my brother. However I’ll leave you to make up your own minds. My father has sent an invitation for you both to join us at the ranch on Friday and meet Adam prior to the ceremony. Carole is staying with us at present but she will be in town, shopping with my cousin’s wife.”

Mr King said “We will be pleased to accept your father’s invitation but please don’t take my wife’s comment the wrong way. We are already predisposed to like your brother, both because I trust my daughter’s judgement and for the gesture he made in inviting us out here. But we are honestly puzzled. Adam had been described to us as a lawyer, an engineer, a poet, a gunman, a cowboy and a musician.”

Joe had to grin at the expressions on their faces and the long list of activities associated with his brother “Well I guess he’s a bit of all of those. His hobbies are his books including poetry and his guitar. As a rancher and part owner of the Ponderosa he has to be a cowboy and in this part of the country you need to be good with a gun to stay alive, but we only fight in defence of what we own, or what we believe in. As for the others he qualified as an engineer when he was twenty and as a lawyer last year. Both are useful round the ranch.”

“He sounds quite a man.” Mr King commented and Joe nodded “He’s always been the scholar of the family, but I’ll leave you to judge him. I’m biased.” The conversation became more general as Beth returned with tea and Joe finalised arrangements to pick them up around ten a.m. Just as he was leaving Mr King asked where the ranch was. He had only got vague answers from the other people he’d asked, but he had a map and asked Joe if he could show him. Joe indicated the position of the ranchhouse and then sketched in the boundaries of the ranch. Mr King was taken aback “How big is it?”

Joe shrugged “Adam will be able to give you the exact figure, but it’s about one thousand square miles and we have title deeds to every square inch. All of them will stand up in a court of law, none of it is public land.” King raised his eyebrows at that, he expected things to be large out west but this was colossal. Joe could see his surprise and, with a distinct edge of pride in his voice, he went on “It’s the biggest ranch in the State and in case you’re wondering, it is jointly owned between my father and the three of us.”

King said, “I didn’t mean to pry.” But Joe shook his head “It’s okay. Carole’s your daughter you have a right to know the position of her husband.” Then he excused himself leaving two very puzzled people.

When Joe got home he had to answer all Adam’s questions, until in the end he pleaded starvation, and pointed out that Adam would have a chance to judge for himself in two days time. Later in the evening Joe told his father more precisely what had been said, highly irate still at her daring to call Adam a dilettante. Ben calmed his son down; it was only natural for parents to be worried and to someone who didn’t know Adam, it did probably sound rather odd.

On the Friday Joe drove the Kings out to the ranch. They were much impressed by the scenery. He took then via the Lake, partly to show them the magnificent scenery and partly to ensure that they missed Carole. They were most impressed but asked about the graves. Joe said “Two of them were friends of Adam’s a husband and wife, they died a couple of years ago. The oldest is my mother’s grave; she died when I was three. I was born here on the Ponderosa, Adam was born back east and Hoss, my middle brother was born on the way out here. Hoss is on his way back from Frisco at the moment so you won’t meet him today. Actually we are only half-brothers, Adam’s mother died giving birth and Hoss’ in an Indian raid soon after he was born. Mine died in a riding accident.”

King was surprised at so much information given so freely but Joe grinned “Not exactly a secret and, in a way the more you know the situation, the less you will need to ask Adam. He’s still not fully fit, so I guess we sorta protect him.” Joe turned away suddenly embarrassed, not at sharing information, but at revealing just how much he thought of that infuriating brother of his.

They headed on towards the house and along the way the flume was visible, King was intrigued and Joe wasn’t above boasting about the way his brother had designed it and they had built it, explaining its purpose. Then he suddenly remembered that Adam wasn’t supposed to know the flume was repaired and he explained how badly it had been damaged and the repair, a wedding present from so many of Adam’s friends. King promised not to drop any hint about the repair but it was his wife who listened most intently to the story. This man must have something about him, if so many people were giving up time and putting in effort for a rich man. Then the house was in view and Joe pointed it out he indicated the valley up behind them “Adam is going to build in that valley.” He drove on down.

Ben had come out to meet them but Adam was nervous, especially stuck in that damned wheelchair, and he stayed by the desk playing with the papers not taking in a word. Ben went over to greet them and Joe made the introductions. Ben helped Mrs King down and then said, “Adam is inside. He’s rather self-conscious, you do realise he’s tied to a wheelchair at the moment.”

Mrs King nodded “Mrs Kelly told us he had been hurt.”

“It’s only temporary. He hurt his spine but there’s no permanent damage and he’s getting stronger every day. He’ll soon be back on his feet.” Then Ben led the way in. Adam was very pale, as he had tensed up over the meeting, it had caused the pain in his stomach to return and he was having great difficulty in sitting upright. Ben was horrified when he saw his eldest son, Adam looked really ill again. Joe after one look, checked with his father, and then went and poured a stiff brandy.

Adam had himself under firm control and he greeted the Kings. Both realised that he was in pain but his good looks and charm were also very evident, and Mrs King could understand just why her daughter had fallen in love with him. Ben called to Hop Sing to fetch coffee and led the way over to the fire. Joe took the opportunity to give Adam the brandy, which Adam downed gratefully. Then Joe wheeled him over to join the others; King was complimenting Ben on the ranch and said how impressed they had been with the flume a fine piece of engineering, such a pity it had been damaged. Adam let everything drift over him for a minute until the brandy had effect and as he relaxed, the pain eased. Much to Ben’s relief the colour began to return to his face and after five minutes he looked much better and began to take his part in the conversation.

At first it was rather stilted but gradually everyone relaxed. Adam found that his future father-in-law really was interested in the flume and the pair of them began to discuss the problems involved. Adam found that King had quite a good appreciation of the problems involved for an amateur. Ben showed Mrs King round the house and explained the plans for the wedding. She was most impressed by the house; it wasn’t at all what she had expected out here in the rough west.

Hop Sing had excelled himself over lunch and while they ate Adam got on good terms with his mother-in-law. Little Joe was very nearly convulsed in laughter, only his father’s eye on him prevented him laughing out loud, as he watched his big brother exert every ounce of his charm and persuasive tongue and Carole’s mother visibly soften under his influence. Adam hardly ate anything, still feeling more than little nauseous but he put up a good show and Ben was the only one who noticed. As they moved over to the fire for coffee he asked Adam if he was okay, but Adam pushed off his concern, and went over to continue his discussion of Boston personalities with Mrs King. He was being very tactful about them, compared with some of his rude comments on the match making mamas, when he first came home.

Mid afternoon Joe had to take the King’s back to town, in order to avoid Carole. They arranged with Ben to come out early on the wedding day and stay at the house for the remainder of their time in Nevada. Joe promised to arrange for Dan to bring them out with Beth. The pair were very much happier about their daughter’s marriage now that they had met Adam and seen his family and their ranch. Indeed Mrs King was delighted to find her daughter had landed such a cultured, charming man.

As soon as they left, Ben insisted on Adam going back to bed for a rest. Adam argued briefly but he still felt rotten and succumbed fairly easily. He dropped asleep almost as soon as his head touched the pillow and Ben went back downstairs seriously worried. Ben hadn’t wanted his son to postpone the wedding, even though he wasn’t recovering as fast as they had hoped, because he thought that it would put an added strain on Adam, that it would be better to have it settled. Now he was worried, if meeting two people had upset him so much and tired his son so quickly, Ben wasn’t at all sure that Adam would be strong enough to face the strains and tensions of his wedding in just over a week’s time.

Carole and Laura arrived home first with numerous packages. Carole was very pleased with herself; she had managed to get what she wanted for Adam. It had been on order for months and she had been scared it wouldn’t arrive in time. It was a beautifully hand made solid gold watch engraved with Adam’s name. Carole had asked Ben’s advice just after their engagement and she immediately went over to show him. Ben was sure that Adam would be delighted. Carole was surprised not to see her fiancé and when Be said that he was asleep she became worried. Ben did his best to reassure her “He’s okay just a bit tired so I persuaded him to have a nap. It keeps him out of the way while Hoss brings in everything he‘s collected in Frisco. Joe should be back with him any time now.”

Carole said, “It’s getting increasingly difficult to remember where we are allowed now that Hop Sing has made the kitchen out of bounds. Ben laughed “If much more stuff increases we will all have to move into the bunkhouse. There’s no room in the kitchen to move for boxes.” Carole laughed and then headed upstairs to unpack.

Hoss arrived home with boxes galore, he had been most unpopular on the stage and it was with a sigh of relief that he did the final unloading. Then Ben and Joe had to help Hoss move everything up to the room Ben was using. Ben was intrigued to see what Hoss had finally chosen but Hoss insisted that he was having coffee and a bite to eat before he undid anything. He looked tired and Ben stopped Little Joe bullying his brother. Joe wanted to know what his present looked like. Hoss groaned “One thing I know it was danged heavy.” Then taking pity on Joe, he said, “It looked real fine little brother.”

Once Hoss had had some food and recruited his strength, he led the way upstairs and told Joe which boxes contained the books. Joe pulled out a dozen of them and lined them up. They were all matching, in black leather with the name in gold and the Ponderosa brand on the spine. Joe visualised them in his brother’s study and grinned, satisfied with his choice. Then he turned his attention to finding out what Hoss had bought. Hoss said “I hope he’ll like them I went all over Frisco but I kept coming back to that funny little junk shop near the dock, I wasn’t sure but I couldn’t resist them.”

Even Ben was getting impatient and he said “For goodness sake stop waffling and show us.”

Hoss carefully unpacked the first box and to Ben and Joe’s utter amazement he drew out a beautiful cut glass decanter with a dark base and stopper, Then he got out the matching glasses all with clear bowls and dark stems. The complete set consisted of six decanters and eighteen glasses in each of six different styles all matching. Hoss was mightily relieved to find they had all arrived intact. Neither Ben nor Joe said anything as they examined the glassware and Hoss said worriedly "Do you think they’ll be pleased?”

Joe slapped his brother on the back “They’ll be delighted. These are exquisite Hoss.”

Ben was studying one of the decanters “How much did you pay for these Hoss?”

Hoss studied his feet and mumbled, “Seven hundred and fifty dollars” and awaited the explosion. To his surprise Ben whistled softly “If I’m right you have got a real bargain, these are worth ten times that. This is Venetian glass and a collectors item. I'll have a look in a moment.”

“Are you sure Pa? The dealer said that the widow of some financier, who committed suicide, sold it. I think he was glad to get rid of it.”

Ben said, “Come over here Hoss.” Ben had pulled out a book of antiques and showed a picture of glasses identical in style. Ben had another look at the ones Hoss had bought “I suppose it could be an imitation. I’m no expert but listen to the ring, it is every high quality.”

“You think I did well then?”

“Superbly well Son.” Hoss was very pleased, he had had second thoughts later after buying it. Then Joe noticed another box addressed to Adam. It had come from England and Ben hesitated and then said, “Let’s open it. It was from Adam’s friend Charles Dickens. Hoss had written to him explaining that the fire had destroyed his books and that Adam was getting married and he had sent a matching edition of all his works all signed by him as a wedding present. There were also about nine odd books, all sent as presents by people, Adam had become friendly with in England. Ben was very pleased knowing that Adam would be.

Little Joe took Hoss over to Adam’s room which they were doing up. The men had begun putting up bookshelves and the new double bed had arrived. They reckoned to be finished in two more days, which would give time for the smell of paint to wear off. He was able to report that the flume was finished. . Adam was to be taken out to see it on the Saturday morning and most of the men, who’d worked on it were going to be there. The actual ceremony was arranged for one p.m. followed by the wedding breakfast and the party to start at 4.30 p.m. in order to give Carole and Adam time to open their presents.

Hoss went in to see his brother and Adam insisted Hoss help him to stand. Hoss was better at taking his weight than Joe and Adam found with his big brother’s help he could manage to stand for a minute or so. However when he asked Hoss to let go, Adam’s knees instantly seemed to buckle, Hoss lifted him onto the bed but Adam wouldn’t accept defeat. “No help me up Hoss.”

Hoss looked down at his brother and, realised the futility of arguing, when Adam had that expression on his face. Hoss lifted him up but it was sheer will power which kept his legs straight as he took more and more of his own weight until Hoss was only steadying him and not supporting him. Adam stood for about thirty seconds and then fell back against his big brother, but he was grinning widely. Adam made his brother promise not to say anything, to anyone. Only then would he sit back and inspect the jewellery that Hoss had collected. It was most impressive and Adam was delighted.

Over the next four days things kept arriving, both presents and food and drink for the wedding and in addition furnishings for the new house, until Ben was at his wits end to find somewhere to put everything. Then on the Wednesday, four Chinese relatives of Hop Sing’s arrived and he banned everyone but Ben from the kitchen as he began, with their help, to prepare all the food that would be needed.

Ben was very pleased that Adam was so calm and content, he seemed unworried by the approaching wedding. On the other hand, Carole was getting very nervous. She missed her family, particularly her parents, and although she loved Adam dearly and had no second thought, she was very tense and jumping down everyone’s throats. Adam tried to calm her down, but he seemed to make matters worse, and she burst into tears and ran out of his room. Laura heard her and went in, but Carole was indulging in a real bout of crying, and Laura left her to it, sure she would feel better for it. Laura went over to see Adam, who wasn’t at all sure what he had done to make her cry. Laura reassured him, it was just pre-wedding nerves and nothing to worry about and Adam swore that he would never understand women.

Adam had, with Hoss’ help, been practising standing every day and he could now stand unaided and even take a few steps. He was feeling stronger every day and he swore that he would manage to stand for the ceremony. Hoss had expected Adam to choose Joe as his best man, ever one to discount his own claims, but he was delighted when Adam asked him.

On Thursday Ben with help from Joe, Hoss and Laura began to rearrange the downstairs ready for the ceremony. Everything was cleaned and polished and all the vases they possessed were pressed into use for the flowers, which Will was going to collect the following day. The whole of the ranch work had come to a halt, the bare minimum being kept out on the range and the rest were gravitating towards the house. Adam’s room was ready for the newly married couple and fairly soon the downstairs began to take shape. Ben had decided to let them open their presents in the room he had been using since Adam was injured. In that way only a few people could be present and it would be fairly quiet for Adam. Ben felt that his son would need time to relax after the ceremony. Then they could be displayed and everyone could go and see the presents,

As the actual day approached Carole’s nerves disappeared and by the Friday she was very excited and just looking forward to the wedding. On that Friday Adam suddenly realised just what he was letting himself in for and what a great change the morrow would bring. For the last twenty years he had lived in an all male household and it was going to be very different with Carole. He began to feel very uneasy and retreated to his room, he could hear everyone downstairs rushing around, but somehow it didn’t seem anything to do with him.

The flowers had arrived and Laura was putting them in vases. Carole came up to see him but he didn’t want to talk just now. Carole soon realised that he was nervous about the wedding, but Adam took her in his arms, “Don’t talk, not now we have all our lives to talk, just hold me tight.” Carole held him and kissed him passionately, and then she left him alone.

Before supper Ben sank down exhausted and demanded a drink, everything that could be done had been done and, apart from the last minute jobs that had to wait until tomorrow, they were ready. Hoss wandered upstairs to find Adam standing, staring out of the window. It was the first time that he had managed to get to his feet without help and Hoss congratulated him. Adam smiled, but it faded very quickly, “I’m restless Hoss, will you take me up to the lake?”

“Sure but lets have supper first. I’ve been lugging furniture around all day and I’m starving.”

“Go on. I’ll stay up here until you’re ready. I don’t want to face the others.”

Hoss asked anxiously “Are you alright?”

Adam nodded “Just sort of tense. I’ve never been married before.”

Hoss gripped his brother’s shoulder in mute reassurance “Take it easy, I won’t be long.” He headed downstairs after helping Adam back to his chair. He told Ben and Joe what Adam wanted. Ben knew that Adam had become nervous over the last two days and he wasn’t really surprised, he just reminded Hoss to make sure he took the long way to the Lake. Little Joe wandered up to see Adam. Adam wasn’t in the mood to talk, but he seemed glad of Joe’s presence.

Hoss came up and collected Adam and they soon reached the Lake. It was very beautiful as the sun set and Adam walked up to the point leaning on his brother’s arm. He sat down and stared over the lake. For a while he was silent and then he started to talk, half to himself and half to his brother. “I’ve always wanted a wife and a home of my own, with God’s blessing children. I love Carole so much it almost hurts and I am sure we will be happy together, so why the hell am I so scared all of a sudden?”

Hoss gripped his shoulder “Everyone gets scared at big changes Adam, it’s not unusual.”

“I know but every time I think of tomorrow my stomach sinks, I tense up and that damned pain comes back. I feel sick and faint and I’m so scared I’ll collapse, or in some way make a fool of myself.”

Hoss could have laughed at his pigheaded older brother, who had always to show himself super human to the outside world, but he knew better. “Everyone knows you’ve been ill. Noone would think any the worst of you if that did happen, but it won’t. It is far worse in prospect than it will be in practice. You’ll be fine on the day.”

Adam stared out over the Lake not answering and Hoss slipped his arm round his brother’s shoulders “Anyhow if you feel faint or weak you can always lean on me I’ll be right there.”

Adam put his hand over one of Hoss’ “You always are. I wonder if you know just how much that means to me.” The brothers sat close together for a long time staring out over the lake, close in body and spirit, until eventually Adam said “Its time we went back.”

Carole Laura and Will had all gone to bed when they returned and Joe soon followed, tired out after all the preparations. Hoss went on up, leaving Adam and his father sitting staring into the fire. Adam didn’t want to go to bed so Ben stayed. He tried “You ought to get a good night’s sleep Adam it will be a long day tomorrow.”

“I don’t feel like sleep.”

“I could give you a dose of laudanum.”

“No, not tonight Pa. It's my last night of freedom.”

Ben grinned and said, “Well let’s have a drink then.” Father and son sat drinking brandy by the dying embers of the fire and gradually Adam relaxed. “Pa were you scared before marrying my mother?”

“I was scared before each of my three wedding days, but the first one was the worst.” He was quiet for a moment and then went on “Elizabeth was a very beautiful woman just like your Carole. Liz was always so calm and peaceful, serene, you take after your mother in so many ways.”

“I don’t feel very calm or peaceful at the moment.”

“It would be very surprising if you did Adam. You’ve been a bachelor for a long time, you’re fairly set in your ways and it will be a great change.”

“I’m sure that if there is a right woman in the world for me, Carole is it, but suddenly I want to back out of it. I don’t want to get married.”

“That’s nonsense and you know it.” Adam didn’t answer and Ben moved over to grip his son’s arm “It’s quite normal you know, cold feet at the last minute.”

“I like my life Pa and now I don’t know what the future will bring.”

“It will be different, but not that different. We’ll still be here and the ranch but now you add something more to your life. I know it’s right for you Son. We’ve all seen how much happier and more contented you’ve been with Carole than you were before, You even look younger.”

Adam sighed “You’re probably right and anyway I can’t back out now. I love her far too much to do that.” Ben didn’t have the words to help his son, but he could at least stay with him, in case he was needed. Eventually about 2 a.m. Adam said “Take me to bed will you Pa.” Ben did so and Adam said “Don’t look so worried Pa, it’s only nerves. Its what I have always wanted and I love her.”

“Sure son you’ll be fine in the morning. He went to bed, but didn’t sleep for quite a while thinking about his eldest son. Adam had lost so much during his life and now maybe he was finally finding fulfilment. Thinking about Carole and sure that he could trust her with his son Ben went to sleep.

Adam lay awake, most of the night thinking about the future. In some ways he dreaded it the fear of the unknown, but then thinking of Carole, he too calmed down and about an hour before dawn he went to sleep and awoke early, calm and ready for the long day ahead. Adam wasn’t going to be allowed to see Carole until the ceremony and she was going to stay in her room all morning to ensure it.

Adam managed to get himself into his chair unaided and went downstairs hunting for food. Hop Sing had been up and cooking for three hours and there were marvellous smells. Adam knew that the cake was ready and so he didn’t go into the kitchen just calling for Hop Sing. Hop Sing willingly brought him coffee and bacon, eggs and hot biscuits. Even if noone else got breakfast, he was glad to see Adam had something substantial inside him. For once Joe was down early and he demanded coffee. He grinned at his brother “The big day at last, the weather is perfect.”

Adam looked up at Joe “It’s strange last night I was scared stiff and I’d have given anything to back out, but now I’m just so happy that it’s finally come. I’ve waited a long time for this day.”

Little Joe raised a quizzical eyebrow “Nerves Adam?” slightly surprised that his reserved older brother would admit to such a thing, but Adam nodded. Joe waited until Adam had finished his food and then took him back upstairs and helped his brother to get dressed. For now Adam put on his normal working clothes, he would change into his new suit later.

Ben was pleased to see Adam had come down to normal and was just excited over the prospect of the day ahead and his wedding. The house was ready and Ben flattered himself that it looked superb.

The Cartwrights had arranged to meet Philip, with most of the men who had helped on the flume, at ten a.m. Dan was going to bring Mr and Mrs King out to the ranch before then and go out with the Cartwrights. Adam was having a drink to calm his nerves when Dan drove the buggy in. He wheeled outside and greeted them and then, as he wasn’t supposed to see Carole, he let Ben take them upstairs. Two minutes later Carole flew downstairs into his arms. She looked radiant and kissed him hard. She said “I know its supposed to be unlucky but I had to say thank you for bringing them out. I missed them so much this morning.” Adam kissed her and said, “Off you go. I’ll see you at one o’clock. Be on time and remember that I love you very much.” Carole kissed him again and ran back up stairs.

Little Joe was bubbling over with excitement and came over “We are going for a ride Adam.”

Adam looked at his little brother as though he had gone mad, “This morning?”

Joe nodded “Yes but you have to be blindfolded. It’s a surprise.” Adam looked round questioningly at his father, but Ben just nodded. Adam allowed himself to be blindfolded and then Hoss lifted the chair into the wagon and then helped Adam up. Ben was in two minds, he had promised to keep it a secret but he wasn’t sure if Adam was up to surprises, even pleasant ones. Eventually as Adam seemed calm and happy he let it ride. The trip out only took twenty minutes. Adam asked several questions but as only Joe would answer and his answers were utterly facetious Adam gave up and sat puzzling trying to work out what on earth his family could be up to. The only sense he got was from Ben, who said that he had to see a wedding present, as it wasn’t moveable he had to go to it, and now was the most convenient time. Adam had a good sense of direction even with his eyes covered and knew more or less where they were going, but it didn’t seem to help, Eventually Hoss stopped and lifted the chair down. Adam sensed that there were a large number of people around and he was even more puzzled.

The wheelchair was pointed in the correct direction and then Little Joe took off the blindfold. Adam blinked against the light and then found that he was looking at the flume. For a moment, as he looked at the magnificent sweep of the flume he didn’t take in the meaning. Then suddenly he realised that the ugly gaps were no longer there. He looked round at his father queryingly “How on earth did you manage it?”

Ben smiled “We didn’t. It’s your present from Philip and all of these people who made up the labour force.”

Adam looked around and found he knew every men who was present, astounded he turned back to look at the flume, in order to give himself a minute to gain control, and then he turned back to the men grinning broadly. He wheeled himself over to Philip and offered his hand “I don’t know how to thank you all. Now I can go on my honeymoon with a clear conscience.” Adam was absolutely delighted, knowing how much it had eased his father’s worries, and he let it show. He wheeled himself from man to man and said thank you. The men were all well satisfied by his reaction; it made all their work worth while. Eventually Adam came back to Philip and asked “Was this your idea?" Philip nodded and Adam gripped his hand “I couldn’t be more pleased. I’d been worrying about going away with it damaged, as the engineer of the family, it is my responsibility.”

Philip said, “That was what we thought. All of these men and many more wanted to do something to mark your wedding and say thanks for your help over the years.” Adam felt himself blushing and couldn’t do a thing about it. The men raised a cheer and Adam laughed at himself. Then he said “I have to get ready for the wedding but I hope I’ll see you all this evening.” Then Hoss helped him back up onto the wagon and with a wave and a final yell of thanks they left. Adam buried his head in his hands, much moved by the thought, the effort and the number of friends who had wanted to do something for him. His family left him alone and they were nearly back at the house before he raised his head. Adam looked up at his father “I didn’t know I had so many friends.”

Ben smiled “Philip has given me a list of everyone who helped, so you could thank them, and to keep as a momento.” Adam grinned at his family, buoyed up by what had happened and by excitement.”

It was eleven thirty and Ben decided that they all needed to get changed, Joe and Hoss headed up first. They both had new suits and frilly shirts and it didn’t take either of them very long to get ready. Ben had taken Adam up to his room to help him get ready. Ben went out to fetch some bay rum from his own room and Adam moved over to the window to look out. Suddenly he felt scared stiff and as he tensed up the pain came back. Ben looked in an immediately went downstairs for brandy, He came back and wordlessly handed it to Adam. Adam took it gratefully and sipped it slowly, but he wouldn’t talk. Ben helped his son to get changed and slowly Adam relaxed. He looked very smart once he was ready and the chair was cleaned and immaculate. Adam settled in the chair and asked his father to pass him his bible and then leave him alone for half an hour. Ben passed him the book “Its ten past twelve now. I’ll be up for you at quarter to one.” Adam nodded and wheeled back over to the window. Ben went downstairs and checked his younger sons over, He ordered them to leave Adam in peace for a while and they agreed. Ben left them to greet the visitors who were beginning to arrive and went up to change himself.

Little Joe kept insisting on Hoss showing him the ring to make sure he hadn’t lost it, until Hoss cuffed him. Eventually a lull occurred everyone had arrived and been provided with a drink and the vicar was making the final arrangements, Hoss ands Joe went outside fort a breath of fresh air. Little Joe looked back at the decorated living room “We’ve waited a long time for a wedding here.”

Hoss nodded “Pa’s finally getting his daughter, but it was worth waiting. She’s a fine woman She won’t let Adam down.”

Joe sighed heavily “I know that but I just wish he was fitter, its going to be a very long day.”

Hoss was more optimistic “He’ll be okay.” Ben joined them he had overheard what Joe said but he agreed with his big son “I’m sure Adam will be fine, but if you think he needs it, get him out on his own for a few minutes.” The three made a wordless pact to watch over Adam and ensure that this was a day to remember.

It was time for Adam to make an appearance and Ben went up to his son. Adam wasn’t reading the bible, just holding it, as though to draw strength from it. Ben said gently “Time to go down Son, ten minutes to go.” Adam didn’t turn and worried Ben said, “Are you okay?”

At that Adam turned and said, “I’m fine.” The statement was accompanied by such a roguish grin that all Ben’s doubts and worries vanished on the spot. Adam let his father wheel him down and then Hoss took over. Adam chatted easily with the guests and as he said hello to Dan the reporter complained that he’d waited a long time for a wedding at the Ponderosa. Adam grinned “Stop complaining we have practically filled your paper for you this summer.”
Dan had to agree and then more seriously he wished his old friend good luck. Adam smiled “I don’t need luck, I’ve got Carole.”

Then it was finally one o’clock and Hoss wheeled Adam into position, in front of the altar of flowers, where the vicar was waiting. Laura had gone up to tell Carole that they were ready and her mother went on down. Carole was ready and radiantly happy, taking her father’s arm she moved out into the corridor. Downstairs silence fell as everyone awaited the bride. Then suddenly she appeared at the top of the stairs. Her dress was in white brocade with a beautiful pattern in the material. Very simple in style and close fitted to her beautiful figure with a long train carried by the two young girls, both dressed in dark green. Her hair was down and she wore the veil her mother had worn. It was down as she came down the stairs and the people were just a blur in front of her eyes. The only one who was in focus was Adam. To her disgust she had tears in her eyes despite her absolute certainty about what she was doing and her happiness. Then as she reached the bottom of the stairs, Adam got up from his chair and stood to greet her. An audible intake of breath seemed to come from everyone in the room and Ben took one step towards his son, but Joe’s hand restrained him, and the expression of peace on his son’s face held him still. As Carole came up beside him she passed her bouquet of red roses to Peggy and took his hand. They took one step forward. She was delighted to find him on his feet and knew that Hoss was there, if he was needed.

The ceremony began and both of them made their responses firmly although she had been scared that her voice would be drowned in the tears that were so close, but Adam’s hand was in hers and he squeezed it gently. They looked only at each other as they made their vows, oblivious of everyone else. The vicar said, “I pronounce you man and wife. Adam pulled her close and kissed her, Ben and Joe joined Adam and Hoss, as did Carole’s parents, as they moved to sign the register. Adam walked over to it, unaided, and Ben didn’t even offer his help. When that was done Adam led his bride out through the crowd and outside so that the room could be cleared and set for the wedding breakfast. Hoss took the chair outside and Adam gratefully sunk back into it. He had stood and walked further by at least four times than he had managed before. Carole kissed him "You promised, but I didn’t believe you could do it.”

“I had to stand in tribute to your beauty, the most beautiful bride there has ever been.” Hoss decided after the strain of the ceremony that Adam needed a few minutes alone with his new wife and he wheeled Adam round the side of the house and left him alone with Carole. For a moment they were silent and Adam pulled her down onto his lap, content just to hold her, no words necessary, both were so very happy.

Hoss went back to his father. He answered the question, so obvious on Ben’s face, “He’s fine Pa.”

“Did you know that he was planning that?”

“Sorta. He’s been practising with my help all week but he could only manage five minutes, and I thought he’d given up on the idea. Still he ain’t taken no harm and he’s feeling mighty pleased with hisself.”

Ben nodded he had seen the total contentment on his eldest son’s face, so he went to help in the house. Hop Sing and his helpers had the tables laid and Joe was busy handing out sherry, wine or punch to all who wanted, when Adam and Carole came back. Adam was in his chair, but in his own way he seemed to tower over the company, dominating the scene easily through his sheer happiness. He went with Carole over to her parents and they chatted for a couple of minutes, before the newly married pair circulated to talk to the guests.

It wasn’t long before Ben began getting people to take their places at table for the wedding breakfast. Hop Sing had excelled himself and there was a superb four-course meal. Adam wasn’t hungry and Carole was much too excited to eat, and they hardly touched the food, but they were in a minority of two and the rest did full justice to Hop Sing’s work. Carole’s mother was next to Adam with Ben the other side of Carole, Joe and Hoss opposite the newly married couple. When everyone had eaten and were lazing back drinking coffee and brandy the speeches began. Adam insisted on standing to make his, although he had to hold onto the table to keep his balance as his weak legs objected. Ben watched anxiously and it was with relief that he saw his son sit back down. Then Hoss followed tradition by reading out the telegrams, which had arrived from all over America and from England and even Europe. They were mainly from friends of Adam’s, although names like Dickens brought some comment from the guests. There were also a number from Carole’s friends and family back East.

Once the speeches had finished, Ben stood up. He announced that the bride and groom were going to open their presents upstairs, everyone would get a chance to have a look later, but for now punch and tea would be served outside, so that the main room could be cleared ready for the evening entertainment. Dan as a journalist and close friend claimed special privileges and Ben allowed him to join the upstairs party, on condition that Ben had the right of veto if there anything happened that they didn’t want in the paper. He knew Dan de Quille well enough to trust the lanky reporter. Otherwise it was just the immediate families going upstairs. Even so it was a large group who headed up with Carole and her parents, Adam and his brothers and father with Will and Laura.

Adam stopped in on his father’s room, promising to join the others in just a minute. He felt exhausted after his efforts, but he washed his face and gave himself a couple of minutes to pull himself together, and then went to see the presents. Ben had them all arranged in the order he wanted them opened, keeping the family presents until the end. There were packages galore and Adam and Carole both got busy opening them. They had the whole gamut of presents from a toast rack to a bottle of champagne to help celebrate. They were careful to keep the presents and gifts together and were often amused at some unlikely gift from one of Adam’s friends, such as the lovely lace dressing table set from the bartender at the Palace. One particular package had them all guessing; there were two small objects inside, one white and one black, but although all of them had a look none of them knew what the objects were and as Adam said they couldn’t exactly ask. Joe’s suggestions got sillier and sillier and everyone was laughing, until eventually Adam begged for mercy, it still hurt to laugh.

Eventually the minor gifts were open and they came to the family ones. The first they opened was the dinner and tea service from Will and Laura. It was a complete twelve-piece setting of blue and white Wedgwood china. Carole was delighted with it and insisted on taking out each piece and setting it out on the table. Adam kissed Laura and shook hands with Will “I hope, when we have the house built, you will be our first guests to come and use it.” Will squeezed his cousin’s shoulder “Willingly now.” Ben grinned broadly happy to see the cousins back on good terms.

Then Adam undid the present from Carole’s parents. It was a beautifully tooled silver set of teapot, water pot and milk jug all on a matching tray. Adam knew enough to realise it was a valuable antique set and he examined each piece carefully and then passed them over to Carole. He wheeled himself over to his father-in-law “I’m no expert but that was made In London I’d guess around 1700.”

“Very close young man 1691 by the marks.”

“Its charming we shall cherish it” Adam shook hands with the older man and then turned his attention to his mother-in-law and gave her a kiss. “I’ve not had a mother most of my life but I guess it’s never too late to start. I seem to have done pretty well out of the deal considering the stories one hears about mother-in-laws.”

She smiled at him “I don’t think you have ever had any trouble with women young man and having met your father I can understand why.” Adam and his brothers all laughed at that and Joe piped up “Flattery will get you everywhere with that pair.” Adam gently punched his brother at that, but he was grinning.

Then Adam began to undo the large box of books from Joe, grinning as he saw the Ponderosa brand on the books. Between them Adam and Carole got all the books out to inspect Joe’s choice and they nearly lost Adam, as he opened the book of Donne’s poetry. Ben moved over and put his hand round the book closing it “There will be plenty of time for reading later Son we do have guests.” Adam looked up slightly guiltily and put the book down, he grinned at his brother “Many thanks Little Joe it makes a real good start for our study.” Carole went over and kissed Joe “Great choice, they’ll keep us quiet for hours.”

As Adam went towards the next box, Joe warned him it was breakable and all he had to do was lift it up. Hoss had washed and polished all the glassware and set it out and the box was just covering it. Adam couldn’t manage the box from his chair and having read the card from his big brother, he asked Hoss to lift the box up. Adam was completely taken aback, it wasn’t at all what he had expected from Hoss, but as the glasses sparkled the array looked beautiful. Adam picked up one of the decanters and examined it as Carole went to Hoss and gave him a hug “They are exquisite Hoss.”

Adam was very slightly worried “They must have cost you a small fortune Hoss.” But Ben seeing the concern, grinned at his son “You underestimate your brother he obtains more bargains than the rest of us put together.” King came over to look at them shaking his head “I saw one set of decanter and eighteen sherry glasses sold in Boston and it fetched 1250 dollars. I knew there were six sets in all but I’ve never seen them together before.” Adam looked up at his father, just to double check that his big brother hadn’t spent all his savings, just on a wedding present but what he saw reassured him and Adam went over to his brother and shook his hand. Adam didn’t say anymore but Hoss, seeing the expression on his brother’s face, felt all his efforts in quartering Frisco were worthwhile.

Adam came to the final package, which was fairly obviously a painting. He carefully undid it and held the picture at arm’s length to study it. Joe and Hoss had seen the painting when it was first completed, but they had forgotten how good it was. The view over the Lake seemed so real, that as they looked at it, they almost felt that they were there. Adam had always used the peace of that spot more than any of the others and he was almost spellbound. Oblivious of everyone else, Adam pulled himself to his feet and went to his father “Pa” and he gave his father a big hug. Ben found he had tears in his eyes and he held his eldest son at arm’s length and said, “I pray you’ll be as happy as I was with your mother.”

Little Joe sensed that both his father and eldest brother were getting too emotional and interrupted “I hate to hurry you but the rest of the guests are beginning to arrive. I think its time we made an appearance.” Ben brought back to earth with a bump turned to his youngest son gratefully. The rest of them went downstairs leaving the newly weds alone for a few minutes. Adam sat back down in the wheelchair and Carole went over to him, he looked tired and there was still a long day ahead. Adam buried his head on her breasts and Carole asked worriedly “Are you alright.” Adam straightened up “I’m fine, we’ve been very lucky.”

Carole smiled “Your family put a lot of thought into their gifts.” Adam could only nod and found his gaze irresistibly drawn back to the painting. For ten minutes they stayed quietly upstairs and then Adam said “Its our wedding day. You’d better wheel me down.”

For the next hour the pair of them hardly saw each other as they circulated round the numerous guests. Adam was being buoyed up by the excitement and although he was rapidly tiring, he managed to hide it.”

The main room was cleared for the dance and Adam insisted on his right to open the dancing with his bride. He asked the band to play a waltz and despite Ben’s protests, he pulled himself to his feet. Ben and Hoss stood ready in case his will power proved insufficient but Adam stood straight and took Carole in his arms. He was a good dancer and the waltz was a slow one and he accomplished the circuit he had planned on, with no apparent difficulty. Then he handed his bride over to his youngest brother and sank back into his chair. He was utterly exhausted, even his lips bloodless and Ben wheeled him outside and away from the house to avoid people. Adam just lent back in the chair and closed his eyes. Ben shook his head and sighed heavily “Adam you are a fool sometimes. I can understand why you wanted to stand for the ceremony but that wasn’t necessary.”

Adam exploded “It was necessary because I wanted it and I will close the dance as well and walk upstairs with my wife.” Ben didn’t answer and after a minute Adam said, “I’m sorry Pa I didn’t mean to yell at you. It’s just that I’m scared.” Puzzled Ben said “But why? Everything has gone so well you seemed so happy.”

“I am happy. I love her with all my heart but I’m scared I’ll let her down.” He looked down not wanting to face his father “I’ve never exactly gone short of women Pa and I’ve never had to pay. But to my knowledge I’ve never harmed any of them and I’ve never seduced a virgin. I’m scared I’ll hurt her, scared that will make me impotent.”

At first Ben didn’t answer, it wasn’t a subject that often came up with his sons. He knew they were not inexperienced but had trusted that the principles he’d instilled in them would ensure they did no harm. Knowing that he had to help his son Ben gripped his shoulder “It’s a common fear Son. You know if she excites you and you are hardly likely to be so much in love if she didn’t so I very much doubt if you’ll be impotent.”

Adam wouldn’t normally have given that a thought but with his back injury, he wasn’t so sure, but just thinking of his beautiful bride brought a tingle in his groin and a little of that fear faded. His father went on “Carole loves you and she will want you too. Just be gentle and take your time, it will be fine.”

Adam nodded and then looked up at his father “Please leave me alone for a few minutes Pa. Its been quite a day.” Ben could understand Adam’s need for quiet, and pushed his son further back into the trees out of sight, promising to come back for him in half an hour.

In fact it was Joe who came to collect his brother. He found Adam with his head buried in his hands and worriedly asked, “Are you okay?” Adam had been so deep in thought he hadn’t even heard his brother approach, but he sat up and grinned “Just thinking little brother. Let’s go back and see the people.” The party was going with a swing with plenty of food and drink. As Adam appeared Carole broke away from her partner and ran over to him. Adam took her hand and grinned up at her “Hello wife how about performing your wifely duties and getting me some food.” She kissed him and laughing took him over to the food.

Sometime later Ben came over and suggested, that as it was nearly nine, it was time they cut the cake, Hop Sing’s masterpiece. Adam agreed and went in with Carole. None of them had been allowed to see the cake and now as Hoss carried it in for Hop Sing they all studied it intently. Hop Sing had made a three tiered cake on a central pillar representing the Ponderosa brand. Each tier was decorated with icing with a different view, the first of the pines round the Lake, the second of the Sierras and the top one showing the ranchhouse. There was an almost stunned silence as everyone looked at the cake. Adam beckoned Joe over to him and whispered to his brother. On his orders, Joe went out to the kitchen and insisted on Hop Sing coming out and led him over to Adam and Carole. Adam smiled at the little Chinaman and then he said, “I think we would all like to express our thanks Hop Sing, both for this superb cake and for all the good food we’ve been eating all day.” As he finished Joe and Hoss led a loud cheer and Hop Sing confused studying the floor but Carole went to him and said “I’d like to add my thanks to Adam’s, it’s a beautiful cake.” Hop Sing looked up and Adam put his hand out and they shook. Then Adam got to his feet and stood with Carole to cut the cake, Everyone had a full glass and they toasted the couple. Adam put up his hand for quiet and thanked everyone not only for their presents but also for their good wishes and presence helping him to celebrate the start of his new life.

The dancing continued until nearly midnight and none of the guests had left, despite the hour. Until Adam eventually said “I think its time to bring things to an end.” Ben nodded but he couldn’t help trying once more to persuade his son to be reasonable “Adam you look exhausted, don’t try and dance again.”

Adam smiled at his father, he was very tired but he had a brittle strength that he knew from experience would carry him through. “When I got up this morning I set myself certain targets, this is nearly the last of them and I’m going to do it.” Ben wasn’t happy but he knew Adam too well to waste time arguing. Adam signalled Carole to join him and they went over to the band. He asked for quiet and then said “This will be the last waltz, my bride and I are leaving. Everyone got on the floor to dance and Adam waited for a minute or two and then he stood up taking Carole in his arms. He led her onto the floor and everyone else stood back. Adam insisted on doing two complete circuits and then he led Carole up the first three stairs. She was scared that he was going to collapse and was taking as much of his weight as she could. Adam stopped gripped the rail hard to stay on his feet and once sure of his balance he looked down on everyone “Once again very many thanks for your company. We wish you goodnight,” Then with Carole’s help he made his way upstairs, Hoss would have given a lot to be able to go his brother and carry him up. Like his father and little brother, Hoss could see the pain that this grand gesture was costing Adam, evident in the way he moved, and yet they couldn’t help him. They stood and heard his bedroom door close, shutting them out as he started his new life.

Once the bridal pair had gone the guests began to disperse. They nearly all came to take their leave of Ben and it was nearly an hour later before the last ones left, Will and Laura and the Kings had already gone to bed. Ben and his younger sons collapsed among the debris round the fire. Hoss grinned “That all went off very well. Adam looked real happy. I think he enjoyed it all.”

Joe agreed with his brother “Sure did, but don’t it seem strange to think that he’s only upstairs but we can’t go in to see if he’s alright. He looked exhausted.” Ben had been thinking the same he knew his eldest son was exhausted and in pain but now he had lose the right to check on his own son and it was a very odd feeling. The three sat staring into the fire. In some ways Carole had joined the family, but they couldn’t help feeling that in other ways Adam had drawn away from them. Eventually tired out and an odd mixture of happy and sad, the three headed for bed.

In his newly decorated room Adam was totally happy. Utterly exhausted, he was unwilling to go to sleep as he thought back over the events of the day. Carole had come to him so willingly and he had gently made her his own and now he lay holding her asleep in his arms, watching the moon over the Sierra Nevada. He had waited a long time but now he had everything he had ever wanted and the future looked perfect.

THE END

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