Chapter 1

Adam and Hoss Cartwright sat in their spacious living room playing a quiet game of chess. The warmth from the huge fireplace behind them, made it easy to forget the chill in the air that came with late fall. Their attention was suddenly drawn to the sound of the front door slamming shut. Ben Cartwright stood just inside the door, grimly removing his outer garments and gunbelt, throwing his sons a look of disgust. Adam and Hoss looked at each other briefly and then turned back to the game. They knew it was going to be a long night as Ben approached them and then stood with arms folded across his chest.

" Guess what I learned while I was in town today?" he said his voice seeming to echo through the room.

Neither of his sons wanted to really know the source of his anger, but they knew they'd have to say something

" What was that Pa?" Hoss asked, bracing himself for the outburst.

" Well, it seems your younger brother had himself some fun last weekend. He got into a card game, lost all his money, and then accused one of the men of cheating. He damaged Charlie's saloon in the process by getting into an all out brawl."

" Where'd you hear this? " Adam asked him.

It was not new information to him. He'd been in town the same day and had paid Charlie for the damage, and kept Joe from going to jail. It was information he'd hoped his father wouldn't get.

" Roy Coffee told me" Ben said evenly, he caught Adam's eye as he quickly looked away. Ben moved until he stood towering over his eldest son " But you already knew about this didn't you?"

Adam opened his mouth to answer, just as the subject of their conversation came in the front door.

" Hi Pa, hey we got the fence just about done, we can move the herd down by the end of the week" he announced as he took off his coat and gunbelt.

Ben turned to his youngest son " Well, I'm glad to hear that Joseph" he said as Joe joined his brothers on the couch.

He pulled a piece of fruit from the bowl before him, a huge smile on his face. He'd missed the look of discontent in his father's eyes at first, but saw it now as he looked up at him

" What's a matter Pa?" he asked innocently

" Well Son, it seems you forgot to tell me a few things about your trip to town the other night"

Joe shot an angry look at Adam and then looked at his father " Look Pa that........." he began but Ben cut him off by raising his hand

" Look Joseph, I don't even want to hear your excuses. First of all you had no business getting into a card game, you know full well how I feel about gambling. Secondly........."

" But Pa it was Bi....." he tried again

" JOSEPH!" Ben shouted, saying his name with force

Joe stood up angrily " Alright I was playing cards and I got into a fight but I didn't start it"

" What were you doing playing poker in the first place, you know better" Ben demanded, still shouting in a thunderous voice

" Look Pa, it was Saturday night, I just wanted to have some fun for once. If Birch hadn't barged into the game and been cheating in the first place........."

" You can prove this of course" Ben challenged, knowing how quick his youngest son was to jump the gun in situations like this.

" Well no, I can't prove it, but I know what I saw. And he's been spoiling for a fight ever since...."

Ben didn't give him a chance to finish " I think Joseph that for the next two weekends, you can remain at home and do some extra chores around here, that way you can pay Charlie what you owe him for damages"

Joe suddenly turned his fury to his oldest brother " You just couldn't keep your big mouth shut could you?" he shouted angrily

Ben moved toward him " Joseph that's enough, don't take your mistakes out on Adam, I think you better......."

" I'll save you the trouble Pa, I'll go anywhere just so I don't have to look at him" he retorted fixing Adam with a look of disgust. He had to walk past him to get up the stairs and as he brushed by he hissed " I hate you"

Hoss saw Adam wince, his face turned white as he dropped his eyes to the floor. Hoss had a terrible urge to shake his younger brother for his remark. After he heard Joe's bedroom door slam, he touched Adam's arm " Adam, he was just mad, he didn't mean it" he said quietly

Adam looked up at him, staring intently " Yeah, how many times has he said that to you?" he said and wearily got up from the sofa and went outside.

Hoss angrily threw down the chess piece in his hand and headed for the stairs.

" Hoss " Ben called from his desk " Don't go up there and try to make him feel better. He needs to start taking responsibility for his actions"

" Yes Sir, I know, I guarantee ya, I ain't trying to make him feel better" he said as he climbed up the stairs.

When he got to Joe's room, he didn't bother to knock, he just walked right in.Joe looked up at him from his position on the bed " What do you want?" he said crossly

Hoss snatched the book he was reading and threw it on a chair.

" Hey, what d'ya think you're doing?" Joe cried in protest

Hoss was angry and it showed in his eyes " I got something to say to you, and I want to make dang sure you're listening"

" Oh great now you're gonna lecture me too" Joe retorted rolling his eyes

" That's right I am, what did you say that to Adam for?"

" Say what?" Joe shouted his expression puzzled

" Dadburnit don't get smart with me, you know what. You told him you hated him" Hoss said trying to keep his voice down

" Oh that, I told him what I meant that's all" Joe said getting up to retrieve his book. Hoss shoved him back down on the bed

" You hurt him Little Joe and I don't like it" Hoss told him his eyes flashing with anger

" Are you out of your mind, what're you doing sticking up for him? He don't care about anybody but himself, so how could I or anyone else hurt him?" Joe said flatly, trying to stare his older brother down. He felt ganged up on and was now lashing out.

" That ain't so Little Joe and just so's you know, Adam didn't say anything to Pa about your little adventure. Sheriff Coffee told him what happened, not Adam" Hoss informed him, hoping it would make him realize he'd been wrong

" Yeah well only cause the Sheriff beat him to it then. Adam gets his happiness in life by making me miserable an you know it. He don't like me and I don't like him" Joe said pushing past Hoss and taking his book from the chair. Hoss felt the anger drain from him, it was quickly replaced with sadness

" To tell ya the truth Little Joe, I don't like you much now either" he said and with his head down, left the room.

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Chapter 2

It was nearly midnight when Ben finished up his monthly paperwork. As was his habit he checked on each of his son's before retiring himself. He was a little concerned to find Adam's room empty and went outside to look for him. Knowing full well when Adam was upset about something he would go off alone.He hadn't gone far, he was sitting on the porch looking up at the sky. It was a common occurrence for Adam to take refuge here, he found peace somehow. Ben noticed he had a book in his hand but figured he hadn't been able to read much of it. He sat alongside Adam, and cleared his throat.

What are you doing up so late?" he said with a smile

Adam turned to him, " Hi Pa, I couldn't sleep. What time is it anyway?"

" It's almost midnight Son, any particular reason you can't sleep?" Ben asked him, already knowing the reason

Adam simply gave a noncommittal shrug and averted his eyes.

Ben reached for the book he was holding " What are you reading?" he queried taking the pressure off momentarily

" Just some poetry, nothing special" Adam said quietly. He looked up to find his father watching him.

" You're still upset about what Little Joe said aren't you?"

Adam shrugged again " No not really, I know how he is" Adam answered taking the book back. He was growing edgy and felt better with something in his hands.

" You know he didn't mean it Adam, he just lashes out like that when he's upset, you know that" Ben said watching Adam flip the pages of the book back and forth.

" Yeah I know" Adam said, his voice soft and wounded. The tone of his voice betrayed his words. Adam couldn't even remember what he'd read, he was too distracted to absorb anything.

" What is it Son?" Ben said using a voice that had no forcefulness to it, it was more comforting than anything else.

" Why does he hate me so much?" Adam blurted out before he could stop himself. It was a question he'd grappled with all night, trying to remember where along the way his relationship with Joe had deteriorated. No matter how hard he tried he could not remember anything that would make Joe feel the way he did.

" Do you think it's because I went away to college for so long? Maybe we just lost something in that time"

" Oh Adam, he doesn't hate you, you know better than that" Ben said grasping his shoulder

" No I guess I don't" Adam insisted, not wanting to get into a debate with his father. He felt when it came to his youngest brother, his father seemed to lose sight of reality " Look Pa, no matter what I say, you'll say it isn't so. You just don't see things, especially where Joe is concerned, you see only what you want to see"

" Adam, that isn't fair" Ben protested

" Maybe not but it's true" Adam said firmly. He knew he was hurting his father's feelings, but he was beyond caring.

Ben felt like he was being torn in two, he loved them both so much. He'd always tried hard not to take sides with them.

" I just don't understand it Pa, he used to look up to me, he used to talk to me. Now I'm the last person in the world he wants to be seen with. I just want things to be the way they used to be, I want to be his friend" Adam's voice trailed off with the last words.

Ben didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything. Instead he massaged Adam's shoulder, he wanted him to know he was there and he was listening.

The silence enveloped them for several minutes, then " I see how it is with Hoss and Joe and I can't help but wonder why it isn't like that with us" Adam said

Ben smiled " I don't think you can compare them Son, in terms of your relationships, or as people"

" That's an understatement" Adam retorted with sarcasm

Ben squeezed his shoulder " Why don't you talk to him?" he said

" I can't" Adam said sadly

" It couldn't hurt Son" Ben said sympathetically

" Pa I can't" Adam insisted " I just don't know what to say to him anymore. He either doesn't listen or takes what I say the wrong way"

There was another period of silence, Ben fervently wishing he knew the right thing to say, and Adam wishing he hadn't brought it up in the first place.

" I'm kind'a tired now, I think I'll go on up to bed" Adam said trying to end the conversation

" Listen Adam, why don't I talk to your brother?" Ben suggested

Adam was in the process of standing up and quickly sat down again with alarm " No Pa, please don't do that"

Ben looked at him ready to respond, but seeing the pleading in Adam's eyes, he refrained from saying what he had in mind.  "Alright Adam, I'll stay out of it but only if you promise me that you two will talk this out"

Adam grimaced, his eyes doubtful. He knew Ben would not let up unless he promised " Alright I promise, I'll talk to him"

" Good " Ben declared still keeping an arm around him " Well now young man I think you should get some sleep, we got a full day ahead of us tomorrow" he said warmly

" Okay Pa, see you in the morning, good night" Adam said as he stood to go inside

" Good night Son, pleasant dreams" Ben said and watched him go inside

He sat on the porch by himself for a long time, feeling a desperation that he had no idea how to quiet.

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Chapter 3

The Cartwright brothers worked side by side, cutting and trimming trees for fence posts. It had been a quiet uneventful day as each of them seemed lost in their own thoughts. Their conversations were short and polite, as if they were being careful with each other. Hoss was at least thankful that his brothers weren't fighting. He found their arguments petty and upsetting. He did what he could to prevent mediate when they came up, but he hated being caught in the middle. Ben rode up to where they were working and sat his horse, observing them for a while. Adam stood up straight, propping his axe and wiping his brow.

" You wouldn't by any chance have something else for us to do would you?" he said with a half grin

Hoss and Joe looked at their father too with expectancy as Ben dismounted to join them.

" As a matter of fact there was something I needed to discuss with you boys. I've decided Hoss that I'll have you move the herd " he said placing a hand on Hoss shoulder

" But Pa" Joe protested " Hoss and I were supposed to go up to camp and bring the supplies down remember?"

" I know Joe I haven't forgotten, Adam can go with you instead" Ben said, a little too cheerfully.

He'd hoped Joe would take this arrangement willingly, but his hopes were dashed when Joe, looked at Adam. Joe opened his mouth to say something to his father but instead gave his father a fleeting look and walked to his horse. Without a word he vaulted on and rode away.

" Why did you do that?" Adam said at his side " He's not stupid, he knew what you were trying to do. Pa I know you want us to be the best of friends but forcing us together is not going to help, it's only going to make things worse for both of us. You can't force us to like each, it just won't work" he said and he too walked to his horse. Ben watched helplessly as he rode away at a gallop.

" He's right Pa" he heard Hoss say " Ya gotta stay out of it. I know it's hard but we gotta let 'em be"

Ben was still looking in the direction they'd gone " I know" he said

" Well since you drove my help away, how about giving me a hand with these posts?" Hoss said, hoping to distract his father

Ben broke into a grin and took the offered axe " I guess that's the least I could do, isn't it?" he said.

Hoss slapped him on the back and father and son went to work. In the meantime Adam had ridden in to town to get away from his family for awhile. He was more than just a little angry at his father for backing him into a wall. And at a loss as to what to do about this thing with Little Joe. He decided to go over to the blacksmith's shop and get his horse reshod all around before winter. At least that would give him something to do and time to cool down. He had no way of knowing that his younger brother was already in town and was at that moment watching him ride up to the shop. Joe stood just inside the door of the hotel watching him get off his horse. He'd already had time to cool off, although he, like Adam, was more upset with their father. He'd been thinking about apologizing to Adam for days and was just waiting for the right moment. He wasn't really mad at him anymore, and he especially felt bad about the little comment Hoss had admonished him for. Maybe the best thing would be for he and Adam to air things out here in town, on their own. Adam led his horse into the barn to find Smitty working on a horse already.

" Hey Adam how are you?" he called " You're gonna have to wait as you can see, if you're in need of my services that is"

There was a handful of the local men standing around talking as Adam came in, each of them nodded or tipped his hat at Adam, all of them familiar with the Cartwrights.

" That's okay Smitty, I can wait a while" Adam said, he tied his horse and joined the men.

" Hey Adam, I hear tell you had to let one of your hands go" one of the men said with a laugh

" That's right, Tuff Birch, nothing but trouble since the day he rode onto our place" Adam said grimly

" Yeah we all knew the same thing when that one rode into town " the barber said

" Adam, guess who it was that gave him a good beating too, over to Charlie's?" Rocky said with a smile

Adam looked thoughtful a minute and then remembered " Little Joe" he said

Joe came up on the barn just as Adam said his name, and hearing it, he stopped in his tracks to listen

" And he deserved every bit of it too, to tell you the truth I wish he'd never been born" Adam said bitterly

Joe stood stunned, unable to hear whatever was said next. His ears suddenly seemed to be ringing as he backed away and moved across the street. He felt as if he couldn't breathe as he stumbled toward the saloon. He wasn't even aware of where he was heading, only that he needed to get away from there. Not knowing where else to go he went to the other saloon, the one he was still welcome in. He walked up to the bar and called to Sam

"Sam give me a bottle" he said

The bartender turned to look at his young patron " You okay Little Joe, you look a little peaked?" he said scrutinizing Joe

" Just give me some whiskey Sam, or I'll go elsewhere" Joe snapped

" Alright, calm down" Sam said reaching for the requested bottle " Just for the record Little Joe, we both know you ain't welcome elsewhere"

Joe paid for the bottle, gave Sam a dirty look and moved off to a table. His intentions to drown his sorrows, were interrupted by some friends who decided that it was a night to have some fun. Joe was all too happy to be swayed from his plans. He figured if he was going to drink some whiskey it might as well be with friends.

After a time Adam left his horse with Smitty and went to the hotel for something to eat. Although he preferred being alone he didn't object when the Sheriff spotted him and joined him at his table

" Howdy Adam, how's that fine family of yours?" he said jovially. Roy Coffee was an old family friend, and they all had a great deal of respect for him

" Everyone's fine Roy, thanks for asking. How are you, busy getting ready for winter like everyone else?"

" Funny you should say that Adam, I was thinking about that the other day. I seen a lot of seasons come and go, and mark my words Adam, there's something different about this one, it's gonna come early and it's coming hard, you folks out on that ranch make sure you prepare early" Roy said looking very serious

Adam lifted his glass and sipped his wine " Roy maybe you're in the wrong profession" he said with a chuckle

Roy smiled at the joke " I believe you're right Adam and I reckon there'd be a lot less danger and headache involved if I was to change careers"

" Well don't do anything rash now, make sure you give it some thought before you go leaving this part of the territory lawless Sheriff" Adam said smiling

" You underestimate me Adam, I could do both and with nary a hitch" The Sheriff said with confidence

Adam winked " I'll bet you could Roy " he said and took another taste of wine

They were startled out of their conversation by a young man rushing up to the table

" Sheriff there's a ruckus over to the saloon, a big fight. Old Sam's fit to be tied, you better get on over there right quick" he gasped and then rushed off again.

" See what I mean Adam, every weekend it's the same. Care to come along?" Roy said getting to his feet

" No thanks Roy, I'll be getting on home as soon as I finish here. You take care now"

Adam smiled to himself as he watched the Sheriff hurry out of the room. When he finished his meal, he paid his tab and went out to his horse. He found that a crowd had gathered in the street outside Sam's place. Giving in to curiosity he walked over to see what all the excitement was about. Seeing someone he knew he grabbed the man's arm

"Hey Chet, what's going on?" he asked trying to be heard over the buzz of the crowd. The man turned and seeing Adam, his expression turned to one of almost delight

"Adam, this'll be of great interest to you, go on inside" he said and with a hand on Adam's back, started pushing his way through the crowd

" Out'a the way fellas, coming through" he shouted until they reached the inside of the saloon. Adam stopped just inside the swinging doors and looked around the room. The place was in a shambles, broken glass and furniture everywhere. When Adam looked toward the bar he saw the Sheriff having a very heated discussion with three young men, one of which he recognized immediately, Little Joe. Before Adam had time to react Roy looked up

" Adam I'm glad to see you, come on over here" he said Adam obliged with resignation, not missing Joe's reaction of rolling his eyes

" Look Roy, we don't need any of his ....." Joe drawled his words slurred.

" Now you hush up Little Joe, this is the second time you've pulled this little stunt. As I see it you got two choices, you can be released to your brother, or you can spend the night in my jail, now what'll it be?" Roy shouted, obviously at the end of his patience

Adam shifted his weight uncomfortably, silently wishing he'd gone home when he had the chance. A night in jail might've been the best thing for Joe this time, and probably for himself too. Joe sat solemn and quiet now, he had no answer for Roy

" That's what I thought, Adam you get him out of here before I change my mind. You two fellas come with me" Roy snapped taking one of them by the arm

Adam waited for Roy to pass and then approached his younger brother, oblivious to the people now filing back inside. He studied Joe's face, noting evidence of a good fight, and his nose told him what his brother had been consuming most of the night. After a moment he stood up straight and addressed him

" Well come on let's get out of here"

Joe looked up at his brother, his eyes full of hate " I ain't going anywhere with you" he said savagely

Adam felt his own patience wearing thin " Look let's just go home and you can explain it all to Pa"

Joe feigned surprise " Oh really, well that's a little out of character for you isn't it? Are you sure you don't want to tell him yourself?"

Adam's jaw clenched in anger, he leaned forward trying to be discreet " You know perfectly well that Pa will be the one to pay for your little display tonight, just like all the other times. So why don't you quit this little tantrum and grow up for once" Adam retorted, resisting the urge to take hold of him

Joe's mouth dropped open and his eyes took on a dangerous gleam " Hey fellas you hear that?" he shouted until all eyes turned on him " My big brother here wants me to grow up, so I can be just like him, a high class jerk!"

" Joe..." Adam said evenly, trying to warn and quiet him

" Wouldn't this world be a better place if we could all be wonderful, responsible bores like my brother Adam" Joe continued
to shout.

" Adam you get him out'a here, he's done enough for one night, I won't have any more trouble from him,you hear?" The bar owner called anxiously from behind the bar

" Yeah, yeah we're going Sam" Adam said taking Joe by the arm. In a flash Joe swung at his brother, but Adam easily avoided him. When Joe tried again, Adam retaliated by hitting him and knocking him unconscious. He didn't hit him very hard, but in Joe's intoxicated state it didn't take much. Wanting to avoid further embarrassment, Adam quickly bent and flung Joe over his shoulder, and walked out.

He got him home without too much difficulty, with Joe going in and out of coherency. When he was understandable, he told Adam over and over that he hated him. Each time Adam told himself it was the alcohol talking, and yet each time Joe said it, Adam felt as if someone were plunging a knife into his heart. Once outside the door of the house Adam hesitated, he knew Ben would be waiting up, and he wanted to avoid any confrontations. He was trying to come up with a solution when
his father saved him the trouble by appearing on the porch

" Well there you two are" Ben said with relief " What's the matter with him? he added with concern seeing his youngest son's inability to stand.

" Oh it's my fault Pa" Adam said thinking quickly " We decided to call a truce with a drink and I guess we got carried away. I'm sorry Pa, don't worry I'll take care of him" Adam promised as he pulled Joe from his horse

" Well good, maybe the two of you will be in a better mood when you leave for camp in the morning" Adam stopped walking for half a minute, he'd hoped his father had changed his mind about his going.

" Oh yeah, well I wouldn't worry about it, we're okay now" he lied " Listen I better get him up to bed, I'll see you in the morning, goodnight Pa" he said as he hurriedly half dragged Joe into the house

Hoss met his brothers inside the door " Oh lordy, I can guess what you fellas did tonight" he said waving his hand in the air

" Not me, him" Adam said defensively " And you don't even know the half of it, guess what he did to Sam's place?"

" Did you tell Pa?" Hoss said worriedly

Adam gave him a knowing look, when Joe started to mumble " Make him go away Hoss, I hate him. Please make him go away and never come back" he slurred

" Hey Hoss, get him upstairs will ya? I don't think he's gonna want to see me when he comes to"

Hoss looked undecided for a moment then reached for his younger brother's arm " Yeah sure Adam" he said and easily lifted Joe and carried him up the stairs. Adam's eyes followed them until they disappeared, and he looked away sadly. He wondered how he would ever survive the following day

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Chapter 4

The next morning, without saying a word, Adam and Joe somehow came to an understanding that nothing would be said about the previous night. Joe woke up feeling sicker than he could ever remember, and too miserable to care much about anything. Adam silently went about getting ready for the dreaded trip to camp. The camp had been deserted for over a week, since completion of the last timber contract of the season. Ben was sending his sons to clean things up and bring the supplies back to the ranch for storage. It was a task that became necessary since valuable equipment had been stolen the year before. Now they had to be sure to leave nothing of value behind, it was a fact that bothered Ben immensely. There was a time when locks and prevention weren't necessary. Times were changing but not all for the better.

Ben now stood watching his sons with interest, their actions belying what he'd been told the night before. Adam was grim and quiet, and Joe was just as solemn, avoiding Adam as much as possible. He was at that moment glad he hadn't changed his mind about them going on this trip together.

" You boys just about ready to go?" Ben asked as Adam threw ropes and canvas in the buckboard.

" Yeah, we're ready" Adam said wiping his hands together

" Joseph, you ready?" Ben shouted to his youngest son, who had disappeared into the barn

Joe emerged and walked to the buckboard, climbed aboard and folded his arms across his chest to wait. He thought about picking up the reins, but why bother? Adam was in charge, he was always in charge. Adam sighed unhappily and turned to his father

" We should be back in about ten days" he said

" Well take your time Son" Ben answered hoping Adam picked up the meaning. " Take care now, Joseph where's your coat, there's a chill in the air?"

Joe gave his father an annoyed look which told him to let it go. Adam climbed up alongside his brother and picked up the reins " See ya Pa" he said almost sadly and the wagon slowly rolled out of the yard

They moved along for nearly an hour in agonizing silence " Could you try to avoid at least some of those?" Joe finally said with some sarcasm, as the wagon gave a violent jolt. The trail was not easygoing and Adam knew it wasn't doing Joe's hangover much good.

" Sorry" he mumbled, not knowing what else to say

Joe was too sick to be angry anymore, he'd save that for later. How he'd longed to stay in bed this morning. Then he remembered that Sam would probably be out today seeking payment for his damages, he sure didn't want to stick around for that. They stopped to make camp as dusk fell, it would take another day of travel to reach the camp. Joe took care of the horses, and Adam went looking for rocks and firewood to build a fire. It was quickly growing colder by the time the flames
danced to life, and Adam could swear he smelled snow in the air. He watched his brother out of the corner of his eye as he moved about making preparations for the night. How he hated this awkwardness between them. Why couldn't it be the way it was with Hoss, easy and unconditional. Joe finally came by the fire and sat on the opposite side. He had his coat on and turned the collar up. Adam hadn't realized he had it with him and vaguely wondered where he'd been keeping it. He smiled slightly remembering Joe's reaction to their father's reminder.

When their supper was ready Adam made a plate for Joe first, mostly out of habit. Joe reached for the coffee pot

" You want some coffee?" he asked

Adam nodded and filled another plate setting it aside with the other. Eventually the two of them sat back to eat, once again without conversation. It was uncomfortable for both of them but neither knew how to end it. Once in awhile their eyes would meet as if by accident, but one or the other would quickly look away.

The frustration got the best of Adam " Joe this is ridiculous, can't we......." he began

" Look Adam, let's not kid ourselves, I know you don't like me, and I don't like you, so let's not pretend okay?"

For several minutes Adam stared at his younger brother, unable to believe what he'd just heard " Well thank you for telling me that, I wasn't aware of how I felt" he said icily and threw his half full plate to the ground. He walked out into the dark, wishing to be alone and tempted to keep walking. He wanted to be as far away as possible, but common sense told him it wouldn't be wise to go too far from camp.

Joe still sat somewhat stunned, surprised at Adam's reaction. Why would he react like that to something he already knew? For just a second Joe thought he might've been wrong about him, but then he remembered the conversation he'd inadvertently overheard. The memory brought the pain anew, and his mouth went dry. He would prove to Adam that it didn't matter, he didn't care about him either.

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Chapter 5

By the time Adam and Joe reached the logging trails it was raining. They drove through the huge pines, deep into the mountains, their hats pulled down and their collars pulled up in an attempt to shield themselves from the driving rain. A light snow was falling when Adam backed the wagon up to the first tool shed. As they loaded the wagon, Adam would occasionally stop and look at the sky. At one point he found it necessary to stop and put his gloves on to ward off the biting
cold. He wondered when the temperature had dropped so dramatically. He came out of the shed with an arm full of chains and threw them on the ground next to the wagon to be used later on to secure the load. He looked up once again to see the snow coming down heavier and all at once he realized what had been bothering him, there was no sound. No birds chattering, or any other animal sound usually prevalent in the woods. There was an eerie quiet all around them, the calm before the storm his father called it.

" Hey Joe, it might be a good idea to stay at camp tonight" Adam suggested, his eyes indicating the sky

Joe stopped his work and took off his hat to scratch his head. He hadn't really noticed how heavy the snow had gotten. But the thought of staying longer than necessary didn't appeal to him at all.

" It'll stop, it ain't nothing to worry about" he said flatly and went back to his work.

Any other time Adam would've insisted, but the last few days worn him down, he was tired of the battles. As he loaded more and more boxes he wondered why it was that this brother of his could evoke such strong emotions from him, a man who considered himself always in control.

The snow was still falling heavily when the wagon was fully loaded and the ground was covered when he tried again. " I really think we should stay here tonight Joe"

Joe frowned at his brother " Look, it's still early enough, if we leave now, by nightfall we'll be far enough down to be clear of the worst of it, quit worrying so much"

" Alright let's get out of here then" Adam relented with a sigh as he climbed into the wagon. Joe was relived and he eagerly moved around the wagon checking to make sure the load was secure, satisfied he joined Adam.

Adam slapped the reins and propelled the horses forward. With a surge the wagon started it's descent down the trail. The horses were excited and trotted eagerly onto the trail. Adam kept them at a slow trot. Joe had been looking toward the Carson River when he realized the snow was obscuring his vision. He was beginning to regret his decision. He looked over at Adam, who was a study of concentration, his lips pursed, his eyes on the team. The snow was not a problem for the heavy horses, but the earlier rains had turned to ice underneath the blanket of snow, and the horses were slipping with more and more frequency. Adam was trying to convey reassurance through the reins and the horses were responding. Adam was pondering turning back when the horses started moving faster.

" Easy boys, easy" he called, desperately trying to use his hands and his voice to keep them in check.

The horses tried vainly to obey but the heavy load was propelling them down the hill. When Adam realized what was happening he put the brake on but it was already too late. The horses were in a panic trying to escape the pressing weight that contradicted the signal coming through the reins. Adam threw a quick glance at Joe, who was white faced, gripping the seat, his eyes wide with fear. They were in trouble, the horses broke into a canter and soon a full gallop, the wagon swerving out of control. Adam made a desperate decision and with a quick shove, pushed Joe off the seat and clear of the wagon seconds before the shafts broke and the horses ran free.

Joe was aware of himself falling, tumbling over and over, through brush and over rough ground. When he camp to a stop he lost consciousness. He was only out for a few minutes but to Joe it seemed hours. The first sense to return to him was sound, and what he heard was a strange squealing sound. The next thing he became aware of was the cold. He sat up slowly and waited for his head to clear. When he could see straight he took stock of his injuries, a few scrapes and bruises but otherwise he was fine. He pulled himself to a standing position, still somewhat disoriented, then he remembered

" ADAM!" he exclaimed as he frantically looked around him. His breathing came in quick gasps as he started running down the trail, and looking in all directions

" Oh my God!" he cried when he spotted the overturned wagon. He moved quickly down the slope, and felt sick when he realized the source of the squealing sound he'd heard. One of the wagon wheels was still turning in the air.

" Adam?" he called moving around the wagon. He called again and again growing more frantic each time. Moving to the front of the wagon, he peered under and saw him. The front of the wagon was levered almost a foot off the ground where it had come to rest on a large stone. Adam was on his back, his face turned away from Joe, but he could clearly see the all too familiar black hair.

" Adam, you alright?" Joe called to him, there was no answer.

He felt a sob catch in his throat as he got on his belly and crawled into the tight space to reach his brother. He put a trembling hand on Adam's neck and felt a pulse. Overcome with relief he put his head down on his arm. Once he felt under control again he tried to think what to do. He backed out and tried to lift the wagon off his brother. He was close to tears when he was forced to give up, it was no use he couldn't budge it. Knowing he needed help he scrambled back up the hill, slipping and sliding all the way. He got to the top and stopped momentarily to catch his breath. By the time he was breathing normally he'd come to his senses, he would never make it on foot, and even if he found help, Adam would freeze to
death before he could get back. He looked toward the sky, the snow was still coming down hard, he had to get Adam out of there on his own.

Joe could never be sure what drove him back down the hill, he believed it was anger and desperation. But it was something else that took over as he once again grasped the wagon, and slow but sure tipped it over and off his brother. He stood bewildered, as he stared at the now upright wagon. Then he quickly moved to Adam. He was still covered by remnants from the wagon load and Joe rushed to remove the weight. When he finished he moved about examining his brother's still form. There was a gash on his head and a large tear in his coat where he could see some blood. His skin was ice cold to the touch, Joe checked his breathing again. He would have to move fast to get him out of there. He was frightened that Adam had not come to and tried to wake him again " Adam can you hear me, please wake up"

Adam didn't respond, and Joe left him to take on the task of removing him from this place. Taking apart the remains of the wagon and with mostly his hands as the only tools. He made a litter to carry his brother out . His only hope was to get him back to the logging camp before dark. With great effort and care he rolled his brother onto it and checked his pulse again. All the time he worked he was cursing himself for talking Adam into making the trip home. Adam had been right. He's always right, Joe thought bitterly as he began the difficult climb up the hill, the snow deeper and slick.

After many stops and adjusting the ropes on his shoulders he finally made it back to the trail. He bent to check Adam and brush the snow off him. On his knees he called him again " Adam can you hear me?" he said his voice full of anxiety

Adam heard him, but it seemed to come from far away, almost like a memory. He thought he was in his bed and his little brother was trying to wake him. He didn't want to awaken from where he was, his eyes felt heavy as he tried to open them. There was something in Joe's voice that willed him to respond. Maybe he was in trouble, with effort Adam opened his eyes, and saw only a vast mass of white

" Adam you okay?" he heard Joe say. His eyes searched out his brother who seemed to blend into a white background

" What happened?" Adam rasped, his eyes showing his confusion. " The wagon, you couldn't stop it, it went over down there" he said pointing down the hill

Adam tried to pull himself upright but Joe had a hold of his shoulders " You alright?" he said hoarsely trying to get a better look at Joe

" Yeah I'm fine, you pushed me out before it went over, don't you remember?"

Adam shook his head and suddenly felt a wave of pain and nausea " You got a bad gash on your head and God knows what else" Joe told him "I'll take a better look when I get us to some shelter. Just lay back and relax" he said pushing him down gently

Adam nodded weakly, closed his eyes and and sank into unconsciousness. Joe patted his shoulder and rose, throwing the ropes back over his shoulders. He began the long journey toward camp, their only hope for survival. He took a deep breath as he moved into the wind with determination.

****************************
Chapter 6

Joe's legs were trembling with fatique and anxiety when he finally stumbled into the logging camp. He went to the cabin nearest the dining hall, knowing he may be able to find vital supplies in there once he got Adam settled. The cabin had been in use only a few weeks before, so building a fire was easy with the firewood already there. He settled Adam in the cot nearest to the fire, and then went about dragging in more firewood and stacking it for the night. There was no food in the cabin so he knew he would have to make a trip to the hall to see if he could find anything left behind. He also made a mental note to look for any medical supplies that might be there. Once the fire was burning strong, he went to Adam and helped him sit up to take off his coat. Adam was awake but seemed almost lethargic to Joe. He quickly examined the wound on his back, a jagged gash that could have been caused by one of the peavey hooks in the wagon or a jutting rock in the fall. He
would have to find something to dress and cover the wound. Joe was still cold himself and could now feel his hands and feet tingle as feeling began to return to his limbs. He settled Adam back down on the cot

" Adam listen to me, I have to go over to the cook's cabin and try to find supplies" he said, vigorously rubbing Adam's hands with his own

" No, you gotta go for help, get back to the ranch" Adam mumbled

" Look Adam, the horses are gone and there's almost three feet of snow out there and it's still coming down. I'd never make it back to the ranch, we're gonna have to stay here"

Adam looked at Joe as if trying to see him clearly, his vision was real fuzzy. He knew where they were but he still felt groggy and confused. " Alright Joe you go, I'll be alright" Adam said and closed his eyes

" I'll be right back" Joe promised as he stood up. He took the blanket off the chair where he'd hung it by the fire, and layed it over his brother. He stood studying Adam for several minutes, then buttoned his coat and went out into the storm. Adam lay listening to his brother's footsteps and the opening and closing of the door. He felt the rush of cold and kept his eyes closed until he couldn't hear anything. His head hurt as he forced himself into a sitting position, and tried to figure out
what they could do. Joe was right, without the horses they were virtually stranded. Even if the horses went back to the ranch, no one would be able to make it to them for some time. He had no way of knowing what amount of food the cook might have left behind. He and Joe had only their revolvers with them, that was another concern Adam felt himself drifting off as his body became warmed by the fire but he forced himself to stay awake until Joe returned. If the storm was bad he could become lost in the vast whiteness, he'd seen it happen before.

The door suddenly flung open with a blast of cold air as Joe reached in several times to put boxes inside the door. He hurried to close the door and brought the boxes to the table. He shook out of his coat, snow falling to the floor. Then moved to add more wood to the fire, pausing to warm his hands. When he felt warm enough he went back to the boxes and sorted through them producing tin plates and cups. He also brought out dry goods and utensils to eat and cook with. He noticed the
cabin was growing dark and lit two lanterns.

" Adam you awake?" Joe called as he sat on the cot and touched his shoulder

Adam turned to look at him and managed a small smile " I'm still here Joe" he said weakly

" The wind is really picking up out there, listen I got us some food and some other stuff we're gonna need. I need to take care of that cut on your back, it's a bad one"

Adam nodded and moved to sit up, Joe taking his arm and helping as much as he could. Once he was upright he looked at Joe and saw a troubled expression on his face.

" What's wrong?" he asked

Joe was biting his bottom lip " This is gonna hurt but I have to clean it and cover it up"

" Well do what you have to then" Adam said matter of factly

" Adam I couldn't find anything for the pain and I ....."

" It's okay Joe, I'm okay. You go ahead and do what you have to" Adam said seeing the indecision in his eyes.

With trembling hands Joe helped Adam remove the shirt. He felt a shudder run through him as he looked at the wound and the many bruises that covered his brother's back. He did what he could to clean the wound and cover it with clean bandages. He heard Adam make a hissing sound as he pulled air through his teeth, determined not to cry out.

" Go ahead and yell if you want Adam" Joe told him, but Adam only proceeded to hold his breath

When Joe finished Adam blew his breath out with relief and his body relaxed. Joe helped him lay back down and covered him up as Adam closed his eyes.

" You get some rest Adam, I'll see if I can fix us something to eat" he heard Joe say, within minutes he was fast asleep. He slept soundly for over an hour, only awakening to the sound of the wind howling. The cabin seemed to shake with the force of it, as Adam searched the interior for his brother. He saw Joe sitting at the little table, looking toward the window

" Joe" Adam called

Joe turned at the sound of his name " Hey how ya feeling?" he said with a smile

" I'm okay, looks like we got us a blizzard"

" Yeah the wind really picked up about half hour ago, I swore a couple times it was gonna take the roof off" Joe said as he stood up and walked to Adam sitting on the edge of the cot. "

You think you could stand some of my cooking?"

"Yeah sure, I am kind've hungry" Adam answered brightening as he pulled himself up.

Joe warmed the plate up and then gave it to Adam and sat across from him to eat his own

" Why didn't you go ahead and eat while I was sleeping?" Adam asked him between bites, noting how ravenously his younger brother had dug in

Joe looked up at him, still chewing " Nobody likes to eat alone Adam" he said matter of factly

" Yep, I suppose you're right little brother" Adam said with a grin. He felt pretty good despite their predictament, they were talking again, and once more seemed comfortable with each others company, this was more like it.

" I sure hope this ends soon, I don't ever remember a storm hitting this early in the year" Joe commented looking once again toward the window.

Adam nodded and then suddenly remembered Roy's prediction. I'll be dogged, he thought, the old cuss was right. Joe was listening to the whine of the wind, it seemed almost alive to him. He turned back to his brother, preferring not to think about it

" Adam, why'd you push me out of the wagon like that?" Joe asked him

Adam stopped chewing, caught off guard

" Because, I didn't want you crushed by the wagon, I knew it was going over, that's all"

" Yeah but why didn't you jump too?"

Adam continued to chew his food thoughtfully. This reminded him of another time in his life when Joe would grill him with endless questions.

" There wasn't time or beleive me I would've" he said hoping that would satisfy him.

Joe was watching him, searching his face for something, but even he wasn't exactly sure what it was " You saved my life" he said and waited for Adam to respond

Adam had just been wondering where Joe had learned to cook so well, and how many other things he wasn't aware of about his younger brother.

" So" he said curious as to why Joe had brought it up " You say it like it was something out of the ordinary"

Joe frowned, this was all wrong, not at all what he'd expected from his brother. Why would he bother to save him, if he didn't want him around in the first place. But if he was wrong then why had Adam said what he did at Smitty's?

" Look Adam I'm kind've tired now, so let's get some sleep" Joe commented and took Adam's empty plate. He walked to the table and turned his back as he cleaned up. He could almost feel Adam's eyes on his back. Adam was indeed staring at his back, confused. But he was too tired to deal with it at the moment, so he tried to make himself comfortable. They could talk about it tomorrow, it looked like they'd have lots of time now.

*********************************
Chapter 7

Ben and Hoss returned to the ranch house just as the first of the snow began to fall. The temperature had been dropping for hours and Ben had sensed the approaching storm, his years at see telling him all he needed to know.

" Kind'a early for snow ain't it?" Hoss remarked wiping flakes from his shoulder and shrugging out of his coat.

" Yes it is, I sure hope the boys had sense enough to stay at camp until it blows over"

" Aw Pa, don't start frettin' over them two now, they'll be fine" Hoss assured him " I'll make us some coffee"

Several hours later Ben stood outside the door watching the snow fall, his mind on his two absent sons. The snow seemed light and was not creating much accumulation, but he knew high in the mountains, it would be a different story.

" Pa Adam would'a seen it coming and stayed put" Hoss said at his shoulder " There ain't no use worrying about it, them trails up there are gonna be impassable for at least a couple days"

" I know Hoss, I wasn't really worrying about them" Ben lied, but he sensed in his soul that something was wrong. Hoss was right though, there was no way to get up there to check on them. At least none he could come up with at the moment.

" You ain't gonna be up all not worrying are ya?" Hoss asked him, already knowing the answer

" No I'll be going to bed soon, you go on" Ben told him " Pa, they'll be okay, don't you worry. They'll be tromping through that door in a couple days and you'll wonder what you were so worried about" Hoss said assuredly

Ben smiled at his middle son, he knew Hoss was just as worried as he was, but worrying wasn't going to help either one of them. " You're probably right Son, let's get some rest and worry about things tomorrow" Ben said and putting his arm around his son and went inside.

Once he was in his bed Ben lay awake in his room staring at the ceiling. He could hear Hoss snoring down the hall, asleep and safe he thought. What about his other two sons, were they safe on this night? Ben changed his position yet again but it was no use sleep would not come. When he closed his eyes he only saw their faces or heard their voices, and wondered if he'd ever see them again. Frustrated he shook his head and threw the covers off. Perhaps a cup of Hop Sing's tea would calm his nerves and help him sleep. Putting on his robe, he padded from the room and down the stairs, shivering from the chill. He added some logs to the fireplace in the living room and built the fire up. Satisfied he moved to the kitchen to make some tea. Some time later Ben settled himself before the fire in his favorite chair and sipped his tea. As he watched the dancing flames his mind wandered and he silently prayed that his sons were safe. What if there was trouble he wondered? Would they stand by each other despite the bad feelings? Yes, he was sure they would, whatever animosity they may be feelings, it was only on the surface. Underneath all that was what would get them through any crisis.

Ben looked up at the sound of the stairs creaking as Hoss came down to join him

" I figured you'd be up" Hoss said as he seated himself next to his father.

" What are you doing up?" Ben asked him

" Same thing as you I reckon, I been worrying about them too" Hoss said yawning as he finished the sentence

" You want some tea?" Ben said holding up the cup

" No thanks, the only time I drink that is when I'm feeling poorly" Hoss said making a face " Listen Pa, I got an idea, that is if this ever lets up some. There may be a way to get up there to check on them"

Ben leaned forward with interest " How? The horses would never make it up through there if the snow is as deep as I think it is"

" Yes sir that's right our horses couldn't do it, but what about that team Mr. Higgins bought this summer to haul timber. They gotta be at least eighteen hands a piece. We borrow his team, hitch em to our sled and I reckon they'd make it through alright" Hoss said with confidence

" Oh Hoss, I don't know. I'm not even sure John would let us use them, especially for that purpose" Ben said doubtfully

" Well Pa, it sure wouldn't hurt to ask, it sure beats sitting around here doing nothing"

Ben sat pondering the idea, it was indeed driving him crazy sitting and wondering what was happening to them. But there would also in attempting such a trip into the mountains

" We'll wait and see how things look tomorrow, if it's cleared up some, we'll pay John a visit. Like you said, it wouldn't hurt to ask" Ben said and suddenly felt a little better knowing there was something he could do now " I think we better get some sleep" he added

Hoss nodded but neither of them moved, they sat together listening to the howl of the wind outside the door, both of them wondering about the fate of Joe and Adam. Ben closed his eyes and said another silent prayer for their safety.

**************************
Chapter 8

The storm continued to rage as morning broke on the second day at camp. Joe scraped the frost from the window and peered out, but he could see nothing but swirling white, he sighed heavily and moved away from the window. He'd hoped to make another trip to the dining cabin, and also to set out in search of some meat. The wind shook the cabin and the wind seemed to be endless, it was beginning to wear Joe down.

Joe decided to make some pancakes from the wheat for breakfast, and realized things could've been worse, at least they had a roof over their heads and something to eat. Adam was still asleep and Joe figured that was good for him and tried to move about quietly. Despite his efforts, the smell of food roused Adam from his slumber. He rolled over slowly and
painfully. His shoulder was throbbing and everything else seemed to hurt too. He lay squinting at Joe then tried to sit up.

Joe heard him moving around " Hey brother, you hungry?"

Adam managed to pull himself to a sitting position with some difficulty " I swear Joe, you're gonna make one heckuva wife some day" he said dryly

" Very funny big brother, I seem to be doing alright by you. How do you feel?" Joe said as he flipped the cakes and watched them bubble up

" I feel like I was trampled by a herd of buffalo"

Joe turned to look at him " That's about what you look like too" he said with a grin which quickly vanished when he remembered what he had to do. He slipped some pancakes into a plate and handed it to Adam.

" Adam I'm gonna have to make another trip to the dining hall for more necessities"

Adam looked up, fork frozen in midair " That's not a good idea, why don't you wait awhile, maybe by tomorrow this'll clear up"

" Yeah what if it doesn't? Look I'm gonna anchor myself to the cabin with some ropes I brought over, I'll bring back as much as I can, so we can hold out for awhile"

" Adam didn't respond, he knew Joe was in control now, he wasn't in any condition to be of any help.

" By the way, anything in particular you want me to look for while I'm over there?" Joe asked

" Yeah, there is one thing, look around the place for any reading material that might've been left behind" Adam said a bit of eagerness in his voice

" Ah bored with my company already huh?" Joe said smiling "I'll see what I can come up with. I'll wait until about noon and then go on over. That reminds me, you got your watch?"

Adam dug in his pocket and produced the watch, then tossed it to Joe. He easily caught it " Thanks, I like knowing what time it is" he said and turned it over to study the engraving. It had been a gift from Adam's mother to their father. It had sentimental value to Joe, for Ben had let him play with it as a child. He remembered laying in the crook of his father's arm and listening to the ticking of the watch until it lulled him to sleep.

" Hoss can tell time without a watch of any kind" he heard Adam say

" Yeah I know" Joe said softly " Where'd he learn that anyway?"

" Same place he learned tracking, blacksmithing, taking care of injured animals, and so on and so on, from Tex"

" Tex, who's that?" Joe asked him

" I guess you weren't old enough to remember him, he was a hired hand from Texas. I don't even remember his real name, we just called him Tex. He worked for us nearly five years, Hoss used to follow him around like a puppy. He worshipped the man and copied everything he did, the way he walked, talked, even tried to dress like him. Tex used to tell the most exciting stories even I was captivated by him as a boy. He used to have me on the edge of my seat. He had the heart and patience of a saint, he was a very special person" Adam said, looking far away in his thoughts.

" What happened to him?" he heard Joe ask, he'd almost forgotten he was there

Adam was remembering the day so long ago and Joe saw something cross his face

" He was killed trying to stop a group of cattle rustlers, he was loyal to us right to the end" Adam said with sadness

Joe was thoughtful " You know, I don't remember Hoss ever mentioning him"

Adam put his plate aside " Yeah well, he took it real hard when he died, we all did. But Hoss still carries that man around inside him. I'll give you one guess what Tex's favorite expression was" Adam said with a half grin

Joe looked at his brother searchingly " Dadburnit?"

" You got it" Adam answered with a wink

" Hoss must've really cared a lot for him" Joe said quietly, wishing he'd had the chance to meet this man who had made such a strong impression on his brother. All at once he found himself missing Hoss.

Well, he thought, Hoss wasn't here, he and Adam had only each other to rely on so they just had to make the best of it. There was no telling how long this cabin would be their refuge.

" You might as well get some rest, maybe by morning this will have blown over" Joe said and took the plate from Adam.

Adam watched him as he moved about the cabin, and blew out the lantern closest the cot. He was thinking about all the things he wanted to ask him. He hadn't really felt tired and was surprised to find himself falling back to sleep.

********************

Chapter 9

By noon Joe decided it was time to make the trek to the cook's cabin. The storm had not subsided and Joe feared it would get worse. Adam was sitting up watching him, cursing his injuries. He did not want his little brother out in that storm. He felt it should be him venturing out there, not Joe.Joe was tying a rope around his waist, as Adam rose from the cot to see what he could do to help

" You really shouldn't be up yet Adam" Joe said worriedly

" Well we're even then, you shouldn't be going out there" Adam remarked reaching out to help him

" Okay, grap those other two ropes and tie them together for me" Joe said pointing to the chair

Adam did as he asked " What if they don't reach the hall, then what?" Adam asked ignoring the pain from his shoulder and the nagging headache. He was hoping to talk him out of this little trip

" They'll reach don't worry, I paced it off last time I went over, that's why I brought the ropes" Joe glanced around the room " I need something to tie this end to" he said looking in every direction

" Give it to me" Adam said firmly

Joe looked at him with interest " What're ya gonna do?"

Adam held his hand out " Just give it to me" he said again

Joe handed him the end of the rope watching him closely. Adam had a smug smile on his face as he tied the end around his own waist

" Oh no you don't, not on your life" Joe exclaimed, when he realized what he was up to. " You should be lying down, you're gonna start that wound bleeding again"

Adam's jaw was set " This is the only way I'm letting you go out that door" he said leaving no room for objection. Joe met his stare, he didn't like this idea at all and was about to tell his brother when the wind seemed to suddenly smash against the wall, causing the whole cabin to rattle.

" Alright, if it'll make you feel better, but you gotta at least sit down" Joe said pulling a chair toward the door. Adam looked like he was going to argue further but instead he sat in teh chair

" Just make sure you come back" he said

" Right" Joe quipped and opened the door, he was nearly blown back by the force of the wind. He braced himself and pushed out into the storm, his breath taken away. He'd underestimated the caliber of the storm as he instantly sank to his waist. Within minutes Adam lost sight of him but he held tight to the rope, now their only connection. He was tempted to call out to him but he knew his voice would be carried away by the wind.

Joe's chest was hurting and his face stung after only going a short distance. The effort of dragging his legs from the depths of the snow and forcing them forward was exhausting. He knew he could not turn back, he had to stop every few minutes to rest and try to catch sight of the cabin ahead. It was a lot colder than Joe had realized, and he could feel his face growing numb. The wind made it difficult to breathe and he was sure if he'd not been buried to his waist the wind would have carried him away. At the other end of the rope, Adam waited for what seemed an eternity. Finally he felt the three tugs to signal that he'd made it across. Adam blew out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He leaned his head against the wall, he was in agnozing pain and felt the room beginning to waver, but he willed himself to stay present. When he thought he couldn't bear it any longer he felt the tug on the rope again, Joe was on his way back. Adam sat up and pulled the door open a little more, the cold sharpening his senses. He couldn't see Joe but he could feel the pull of the rope, that told him he was struggling back. And he was, but after only a short distance he was forced to stop, he was too weak to go on. His legs had given out, he couldn't go any further. He mind was in a whirlwind and he couldn't remember which way to go. He was tired and just wanted rest, just for a few minutes. He was no longer aware of the cold, only the inability to keep his eyes open.

Adam felt the rope go slack and pulled on it feeling the weight on the other end. He let it go slack again, but there was no tension coming from Joe. Adam quickly went into action pulling on the rope with all his remaining strength, his shoulder screaming with pain. He braced his foot against the wall and threw the door all the way open. It took Joe several minutes to realize he was being dragged in. Once he realized what was happening he struggled to rise and get back under his own power, his mind as well as his body was numb with cold but he responded. It seemed to Adam an eternity before he finally caught sight of Joe at the end of the rope and he gripped the rope with new determination to get him in. Once Joe appeared outside the door, he dropped the rope and gripped Joe under the arms and dragged him to the cot with the makeshift sled Joe had made, scraping in behind him. Once Joe was on the cot Adam turned and slammed the door shut, then turned back to his brother. He pulled the ice packed scarf from his face which crackled as he did. Then he pulled off the gloves and boots. Joe watched Adam remove his coat and wanted to talk to him but for some reason couldn't seem to get his mouth to work. Adam was rubbing his hands but he couldn't feel it. He couldn't feel much of anything and was afraid they were frostbitten. Next Adam took the blanket from his own cot and wrapped it around Joe's legs. Then using a cloth he grabbed the coffee pot and filled a tin cup.

" Here Joe drink this, it'll warm you up inside too" Adam commanded holding it to his lips. Joe sipped and felt the warm liquid spread down his throat and into his stomach. He soon was shivering forcefully and his teeth chattered as he wrapped his hands around the cup and felt the heat warm his hands. Adam put another blanket around his shoulders, his face grim

" You okay?" he asked with a frown

Joe's jaw ached and he knew he couldn't talk proper so he simply nodded

" Don't ever pull a fool stunt like that again" Adam said angrily

Joe was about to respond but decided to sip his coffee instead, he was beginning to feel better. Sensation was returning to his legs. Joe threw a quick glance at Adam and could see he was pretty shook up from the incident. Joe tried not to but the corners of his mouth began to turn up just a little

" It's not funny Little Joe, you could've been lost out there" Adam roared

Joe couldn't seem to help himself, Adam looked so much like their father at that moment that it was amusing.

" Well what have you got to say for yourself?" Adam demanded

Joe's smile spread " Would you mind doing the cooking tonight?"

Adam continued his angry stare but slowly the frown transformed to match the expression Joe wore.

" I swear I'm gonna wipe that smirk off your face" Adam warned but Joe wasn't a bit worried as he drained his coffee cup.

**************************
Chapter 10

When the weather finally cleared, Ben and Hoss hastily made the trip to the home of John Higgins. Although their horses had to lift their legs a little higher then usual, they made the trip without too much trouble. After explaining his dilema to John, he not only agreed to let them use the team, but also volunteered his services to drive them. They walked into the barn together to get a look at the horses. John moved into at tie stall and backed one of them out. Ben and Hoss marveled at the magnificent animal before them

" This here is Jake, he's seventeen and a half hands, Mike there is eighteen hands even. What d'ya think men?" John asked
proudly

" They sure do make ole Chub seem downright puny, huh Pa?" Hoss declared as he ran his hands over the horses back and legs. " Lookit the size of them hooves Pa, they're bigger than any work horse Otis ever dreamed of" Hoss said excitedly

Ben nodded his agreement. Otis was the owner of the local oivery, and Ben had often rented horses from him for working timber camps.

" Where did you find animals like this?" Ben asked

John grinned " My brother wrote me about them, he lives in the East and kept telling me I had to see them for myself. It cost me an arm and leg for the trip and the price of this team. That doesn't include the cost of getting them out here, but they'll pay for themselves in the long run, I know it"

Ben and Hoss listened with interest, obviously impressed. And for a little while forgetting the reason for their visit.

" See Ben with this team here, I can still get out to winter feed in the worst weather. I hitch them to that cutter there and and they move along pretty as you please. I can plow twice as much in maybe half the time with these fellas, I can't wait to put them on the plow this Spring"

Ben and Hoss continued to nod their agreement as John continued " You should'a seen ole Smitty's face when I brought these two fellas to be shod"

Hoss laughed out loud and Ben joined him, then he quickly sobered " Look John if you're sure about this I'd sure like to get going"

" Oh right Ben, I'm sorry. Hey Hoss why don't back Mike out of there and throw harness on him" John offered

" Yes Sir" Hoss said, thrilled at the chance to handle the massive animals.

In less than an hour they were on their way, the perfectly matched team moving at a steady pace that Hoss thought looked almost dainty, he couldn't take his eyes off them.

" Ain't they the prettiest thing you ever seen Pa" Hoss exclaimed, his eyes alight

" You getting some notion about heading east Son?" Ben said catching the look on his son's face

" I just might be Pa, I just might be" he declared

Sometime later they reaching the border of the ranch when Hoss shouted and pointed " Pa look!" he cried Ben turned and saw what Hoss was pointing at, one of their own teams, still wearing harness, pawing in the snow. John pulled up his horses as Hoss jumped off hurrying down the slope, Ben not far behind. They slowed their pace as they got closer so as not to spook them.

" Easy boy" Hoss said soothingly as he held a hand out. The horse stood his ground without fear and Hoss easily took hold of the bridle. Ben joined him leading the other. He pulled it up alongside it's teammate and they examined what remained of the harnesses. Hoss was also checking them over for any sign of injuries.

" I don't like it Pa" he said grimly

" Neither do I Son, let's get these off them, and see if we can find any sign of the wagon"

After stripping off the harness' and turning them loose, Ben and Hoss scouted around the area looking for any indication of what might have happened, they found nothing.

" Whatever happened didn't happen here" Hoss said as he looked in every direction Ben didn't respond, his face was drawn " We better keep going Ben" John said quietly

Ben felt a tightness in his chest, he wasn't sure if he could go on if he was going to find the bodies of his sons. He stood staring at the trail ahead of him.

" Come on Pa" Hoss said laying a hand on his shoulder " We gotta push on"

Ben turned and followed his son, climbing into the sleigh and settling himself on the blankets covering the bed of hay they'd loaded onto the sleigh earlier. He suddenly felt very weak. They began to pass under the shadows of the trees as they began their trek into the mountains. As the snow grew deeper there was a slight change in the horses gait. With no sunlight getting through the canopy of massive trees, the temperature was considerably lower and Hoss turned up his collar. He turned a worried glance to his father who still sat slumped on the blankets. Hoss heaved a great sigh and turned his attention back to the trail. He prayed that this trip would reunite his family.

****************************

Chapter 11

On their third day at camp, Joe was beginning to wonder if the storm would ever end. But once again he thanked God that they were sheltered, had enough to eat, and that neither of them was hurt bad in the accident. Although Adam seemed very sore, he was otherwise awake and talkative. When Joe had changed the bandage earlier the wound looked a little red around the edge but that was all. And now he seemed to be resting comfortably on the cot. He looked over at Joe

" Anything wrong?" he asked noting Joe's deep concentration

Joe forced a smile on his face and turned toward him " Nah just getting restless I guess"

" Yeah I know what you mean" Adam agreed " I sure wish we had a deck of cards or something"

" I could go over to the hall and see what I could find" Joe offered with a grin

" Very funny" Adam drawled

" I wish I could've had the chance to hunt up some meat" Joe stated bitterly

" Well don't worry about it, we can get along fine without it for now" Adam said, as he wondered how much longer they could last.

Joe seemed to read his thoughts " I sure hope Pa stays put until this is over"

Adam looked toward the window that rattled with the snow driven wind. " Pa will be worried of course, but he's got sense enough to wait it out don't worry" Adam said assuredly

Off and on the rest of the day, both brothers slept. The constant lack of sunlight seemed to drain their energy. There wasn't anything in the cabin to stimulate them except conversation and even that seemed to tire them after a time. After another dreary supper, Joe cleaned up the dishes He noticed Adam hadn't eaten very much and turned to study him. He looked a little flush and Joe wondered why he hadn't noticed it earlier.

" Adam aren't you hungry tonight" Joe asked him

" No not really, nothing against your cooking Joe" Adam said, his eyes looked dull. Joe reached to feel his forehead but Adam brushed his hand away " Come on Joe, I'm just not hungry, don't do that" Adam snapped

" Sorry " Joe said and soon felt the old resentments returning.

" No, I'm sorry Joe, it's just this sitting here waiting for this to end is just getting on my nerves" Adam apologized

Joe didn't answer, he felt the same way. He was afraid they'd go crazy if they had to stay confined much longer.

" How's your shoulder?" Joe asked wanting to relay that he wasn't angry anymore

" It's a little sore actually, but that might be from not using it for the last week or however long it's been." Adam answered his voice touched with anger.

Sometime later when Adam lay down again, Joe noticed he nearly cried out and ended up on his stomach, favoring the shoulder much more than he had. Joe was tempted to take another look at it, but remembering Adam's mood earlier, he decided to wait until morning. While he was sitting on his cot thinking about it he too drifted off to sleep. He awoke later to find the cabin completely dark and was forced to stumble around to find the lantern and light it. Once he managed that, he stretched and attempted to bring himself fully awake. He reached in his pocket for the watch and found it was nearly ten o'clock. ' What'd I bother to get up for' he thought. Feeling suddenly lonely he sat on Adam's cot and touched
his back

" Hey Adam, wake up I want to talk to you"

Adam didn't move and Joe became alarmed when he listened more closely to the way he was breathing. On impulse he reached for his forehead and found he was red hot.

" Oh no " he groaned " Adam please not now, it's almost over, we'll be home soon" he pleaded

He was quickly filled with dread, his worst fear realized. They were stranded and there was nothing he could do about it. With his heart in his throat he pulled the cover back to examine the wound, he saw what he already knew, it was infected. He rose adn took a pot from the table and went to fill it with snow, at least there was plenty of that he thought. He made himself and compress and put it in the already melting snow and folded it. Then moving to Adam's side he held it on his forehead.

" You're gonna be okay Adam" Joe said 'You gotta be okay' his mind screamed

With his other hand Joe reached for the blanket off his own cot and put it over his brother. He heard Adam's teeth chattering and bit his lip with anxiety. He dipped the compress again and returned it to Adam's forehead. He was surprised to see Adam open his eyes

" Adam can you hear me?" Joe said hopefully

" I'm cold" Adam said through clenched teeth

Joe pulled damp strands of hair out from under the compress, greatly relieved that he was talking " Yeah I know, you have a fever but you'll be okay. By tomorrow we'll be heading home you'll see" he promised.

He was really scared and there was no one to help him. Throughout the night Joe stayed by his side doing his best to keep the fever down. He said one silent prayer after another, one for Adam to get well, one for his family to come soon and deliver them from this frozen hell, and one for the strength to get through the nightmare he found himself.When fatique was getting the best of him he talked out loud to his brother, afraid that he might not get the chance to tell him what needed to be said.

" Adam I heard what you said to Smitty and the others about me and I want you to know it doesn't matter"

Adam heard him and it confused him, in his feverish state he tried to remember what he'd said.

" To tell you the truth, sometimes I don't blame you for feeling that way, I know I can be a real pain. But I swear to you Adam one of these days, I'm gonna make you proud of me"

Adam wanted to ask him what he meant by that but couldn't seem to open his eyes or lift his head. He vowed he'd ask him later when he was feeling better. When he awoke later he felt someone stroking his hair and opened his eyes expecting Ben to be there, it was Little Joe

" Where's Pa?" Adam said hoarsely, now disoriented

Joe felt his breath catch and swallowed hard " He's coming Adam, he'll be here soon" he said softly

*************************
Chapter 12

Joe was so absorbed in taking care of Adam, he didn't notice that the wind had died out during the night. And when morning finally came, he didn't notice the bright sun or the return of birds singing, and later the dripping of melting snow off the cabin roof. Sometime in the afternoon Joe fell asleep exhaustion finally getting the best of him. When he awoke several hours later he realized right away that something was different. He touched Adam's forehead, still hot. Then he listened and heard the sounds outside the cabin door. He jumped up and flung the door open as bright sunshine poured in and water dripped down over head. He rushed back to Adam's side and took his hand

" Adam it's over, Pa will be coming soon, you'll see" Joe called excitedly. Adam didn't answer but when Joe squeezed his hand he squeezed back.

Ben was indeed on his way, but they were now finding the journey difficult. As they moved into the deeper snow the sleigh would suddenly sink. The passengers would then have to assist the team by jumping down and stamping the snow down for them. It was frustrating and slow but the only way to keep moving forward. Ben and Hoss still searched the landscape for any sign of the wagon, but saw nothing. This brought Ben some relief, for that meant that there was a chance they'd made it to camp after all.

The first of the cabins finally became visable and Hoss jumped down to check it out. Finding it empty they continued on up the mountain. Hoss trudged through the snow on foot and then saw what he'd been hoping to see

" Pa, over there!" he hollered pointing to the cabin with smoke coming from the chimney

When Ben and Hoss burst through the door Joe was startled to his feet. He couldn't speak at first as Ben rushed to Adam's
side

" He's hurt " Joe said meekly " The wagon went off the trail and tipped over onto him, I...I....I brought him here, but it's infected."

" Hoss tell John we found them, we gotta get Adam back right away and get the Doctor" Ben said sternly.

Hoss nodded and went out the door. Ben leaned down to examine the wound for himself, wincing at the sight of the angry flesh.

" Listen Son " he said turning to Joe " We need to wrap him up good and get him out of here"

Joe nodded eagerly and rushed to help, grateful to be getting out of there. Moving quickly and carefully, they got him into the sleigh and comfortable, Joe at his side. Ben cradled his head and called for John to go ahead. The trip home seemed to take forever it was nightfall when they had him home and in his own bed. Hoss rushed off for the Doctor leaving his care up to the others, as John drove away toward his own home, not waiting for thanks, it wasn't necessary. Hop Sing rushed to make Adam some of his broth. It was just what he needed he declared, as he brought it up to Adam's room. Ben smiled his thanks as he took it to his son and patiently spoon fed it to him. Adam didn't resist, he knew his father was there, he knew his voice and his touch, and that meant he was safe. Hop Sing returned with cold water and compresses, and then quietly shuffled away. Ben squeezed the excess water from the cloth and put it to Adam's forehead

" You're alright now Son, you're home and the Doc will be here before you know it. You're gonna be just fine" he assured him as he wiped down his face and neck. He looked over at his youngest son and nearly did a double take. He hadn't had time to notice how drawn and tired he looked.

" Joseph, why don't you go on to bed, I'll look after him now. You need to get some rest"

" I can't" Joe said quietly not taking his eyes off his brother

Ben smiled " Sure you can, I'll call you if there's any change" he promised

Joe stared at him " You don't understand, I have to be here"

Ben was studying him, remembering what things had been like when they'd left together.

" Alright Joseph, you can stay until Doctor Martin gets here"

Joe nodded, that was enough and he returned his gaze to Adam. It took more than an hour for the doctor to finally arrive and by then Ben was nearly frantic. He entered Adam's room with Hoss close behind

" Paul, thank God " Ben said " It's his shoulder" he said as Paul pulled back the covers to see for himself. Adam cried out as Paul examined the wound. Ben leaned close and talked softly

" Easy Son, I'm here" he said and ran his fingers through the dark hair.

" It's infected alright, but it hasn't advanced to the point of being a real threat. I think we can clear it up if we treat it agressively" Paul said matter of factly, as he straigtened

" He's burning up Paul" Ben reminded him

The doctor was digging around in his bag " We'll soon remedy that" he said calmly.

After getting some medicine in him he turned to his anxious father " Now we just wait"

Joe still would not leave the room which motivated his father to take Paul aside. Paul left the room and went downstairs, he returned with a drink for Joe. Ben took it from him and knelt before his son

" Here Joseph, drink this" he said

Joe stared at him, his eyes dull " What is it?"

" It's just Hop Sing's tea, drink it up, it'll make you feel better"

Joe took it and slowly drank it down, Ben watching closely. He handed the cup to his father and turned his attention back to Adam. He didn't seem to notice that Ben had stayed put and was till watching him. Later he was only vaguely aware that his eyes were growing heavy. He turned back to his father and gripped his shoulder " Pa?"

Ben pulled him to his feet " Come on Joe" he said and Joe went along willingly

Ben got him into his own bed and made him comfortable " You sleep now Son, Adam's gonna be fine"

" Pa I have to be there, I have to tell him......" he insisted, his eyes closing against his will

" Shhhh you just rest now" he heard his father say " You'll be there when he wakes up I promise" Ben said as he brushed back his hair.

Joe wanted to say so much more, but he never got the chance as he sank into the blackness. When he woke up he had no idea how much time had passed. He sat up trying to shake of the heaviness of sleep. He got out of the bed and went quickly to his brother's room He found Ben still at Adam's side, he looked up as Joe entered the room

" Well there you are, feel a little better?" Ben asked him

Joe answered his question with one of his own " How is he?"

Ben shifted his position in the chair " The fever broke last night. Paul was here earlier this morning and said he'll recover just fine. He hasn't woken up yet"

Joe sat down then, heaving a great sigh

" Where's Hoss?" he asked

" He's out with the men,filling in for me"
Joe turned toward Adam " Pa, I can stay with while you get some sleep" Joe offered. Ben studied his young son's face, he still looked tired, but Ben was near exhaustion himself. " Are you sure you're up to it?" he asked him

" Yeah sure, I'm rested now, and you said the worst is over"

Ben looked doubtful but he finally relented " Yes I did" he said smiling then stood up slowly, his muscles were stiff and he ached all over " Alright Joseph, I'll get some sleep, but you come and get me when he wakes up okay?"

" I will, go on" Joe said impatiently

Ben stood over Adam and felt his forehead, satisfied he left the room. Joe's eyes followed him, he listened for the sound of his father's door closing, then moved to the chair and sat down. Once he was comfortable he was surprised to find himself drifting off to sleep again. He quickly decided that reading might help and walked to Adam's collection of books, looking for something of interest. His eyes stopped briefly on the name John Milton, and then moved on stopping when he came to the name Jonathan Swift. He reached out and pulled the worn copy of Gulliver's Travels from the shelf. As a boy, it had been his favorite story, he could not even count the number of times Adam had read it to him. It was somehow comforting to know Adam still had it. He took it with him as he sat down again. He turned a couple of pages and suddenly stared. There was an inscription that seemed to swim before his eyes. It said ' For Adam, my favorite scholar, good luck. With much love Marie' It was a gift to Adam from his own mother, he'd never known that.

"What'cha reading?" Adam said startling Joe who nearly dropped the book. His face colored as he sheepishly held it up so Adam could read the title

" Ah good choice" Adam remarked with a smile " Help me with this would you? I want to sit up" he said trying to pile the pillows up. Joe assisted him and then helped him sit up

" Thanks Buddy" Adam said looking quite pleased " It sure is good to be home, isn't it?"

" Yeah it sure is" Joe agreed trying to smile.

" What's wrong?" Adam asked him, he'd been watching his face " Don't tell me you wanted to stay up there until Spring?"

One corner of Joe's mouth turned up just a little " No not for a million dollars" he said. " Adam can I ask you something?"

Adam nodded wondering why his little brother was having trouble maintaining eye contact

" If we weren't brother's, do you think we'd like each other?" Joe said and then held his gaze, waiting

Adam tried not to smile " Why do you ask?"

Joe quickly dropped his eyes to the floor " Adam please don't make a joke of this"

Adam sobered " Let me put it this way Joe, what do you think?"

Joe shrugged and keeping his eyes on the floor said " Adam I heard what you told Smitty last week, I guess I just wanted to hear you say it to me"

Adam frowned trying to remember the conversation with Smitty " What did I say?"

Joe shook his head sadly but Adam insisted " Joe please tell me, I really can't remember"

Joe looked up with pain filled eyes " You said you wished I'd never been born okay, are you happy now?"

Adam stared at him, his mouth slightly open, his mind quickly replaying the conversation he'd had with Smitty and the others.

When he remembered he smiled " Birch " was all he said Joe looked up " What?"

" Birch, I was talking about Birch, not you"

Now it was Joe's turn to stare " But I heard you say my name"

Adam shook his head " I said I wish Birch had never been born but what I said before that was that you were the one who beat him up at Charlie's place" Adam explained " You really believed I said that about you?"

Joe looked away ashamed " We ain't exactly been close lately" he mumbled

" That's for sure" Adam agreed " But you've been so mad at me for so long I'm afraid to talk to you anymore"

" Adam that's the trouble you don't talk to me, you just order me around, or critizize everything I do. When's the last time we just went fishing. My God Adam there's more to life than just working all the time. We used to do fun things together, we used to be friends, I miss that"

" I miss it too" Adam said quietly and an uneasy silence fell over the room. Joe saw the expression on his face and felt guilty, he hadn't meant to depress him. Feeling worn out he propped up some more pillows and sat next to him on top of the covers " Look Adam, let's stop trying so hard" he said

Adam nodded but didn't say anything

" Let's not fight anymore okay?" Joe said trying to a response from him.

Adam gave a small smile " Then how will we have any fun?" he asked and looked at his brother.

Joe's expression was sober for just a minute but he soon started to laugh and Adam joined in. It seemed to clear the air for both of them. When they stopped Joe fingered the book and turned serious again

" I never knew my mother gave you this" he said Adam didn't respond, there was no need to

" Did you love her?" Joe asked him, now looking at him

" Yes, yes I did. Very much so, why did you want to know that?"

Joe shrugged " I don't know, it was just important to me that you did"

The silence returned and Adam reached for the book Joe was holding. He flipped through the pages and read the inscription he hadn't read in many years " You used to love this story, I think it was your favorite. I always thought that was appropriate"

" It was my favorite, it probably still is" Joe said simply Adam held it out to him " Do you want it?"

Joe's eyes went wide " You can't just give it away"

Adam smiled at him " Well I'm not exactly giving it away,it wouldn't be going far. Besides I know you'll take good care of it for me"

Joe hestitantly took the book from him and glanced at his mother's writing again " Okay, I'll keep it for you" he said quietly

" Maybe someday you can read it to your own children, and you can tell them about me" Adam said and saw tears spring to his brother's eyes

Joe nodded " I will Adam"

Adam was sorry he'd upset him and tried to change the mood " Hey you want me to read it to you, for old times sake?"

Joe looked up, smiled, and handed the book over. Adam waited for him to get comfortable and then began reading. For awhile Joe listened to the words, but soon they began to run together and Adam's voice sounded like an old familiar song, and before he knew it he was lulled to sleep.

Adam read several chapters before he realized he'd lost his audience. He smiled affectionately at his youngest brother, then threw his covers back and went to his desk.When Ben walked into the room that evening, he found both son's sleeping peacefully. Ben sat down, his heart full of love for his sons. This is as it should be, he thought to himself. He reached out to feel Adam's forehead, no fever. As he pulled his hand back it brushed against the book still clutched in Adam's hands. Curious Ben worked the book out from under Adam's fingers. Seeing the title he smiled, wondering whose choice it was. Leaning back in the chair he turned the pages, knowing Marie had written something when she gave it to Adam. He immediately recognized Marie's writing but it was something underneath it that really caught his eye. It was the date and something else written in Adam's handwriting. It said Joe, Entrusted to my little brother and friend, Love Adam Ben didn't take his eyes off the writing for quite awhile. He was remembering a dark haired boy, who seldom smiled as he struggled through the trials in his life that were often too big for most adults. And another little boy, who never worried about anything. One who grew up secure in the knowledge that he would always be taken care of. Carefully Ben replaced the book and took the quilt from the bottom of the bed and covered his sons. As he stood gazing at them he realized that the trip had accomplished what he'd hoped. They'd managed to find each other again, on their own terms.

THE END

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