The Test by
Mary Stone
CHAPTER 1
The man sat his
horse still as a statue as he looked out at
the lake that
bordered his land. After all these years the view
could still take
his breath away. It also gave him a sense of
peace and
contentment, the years of hard work had payed off in a
big way. He and
his sons owned the largest and most prosperous
ranch in the west.
You could travel in any direction for several
hundred miles and
people knew the name Cartwright and the
influence of the
Ponderosa ranch.
Ben Cartwright
turned up the collar of his coat, surprised
at the bite in the
air. It was the middle of March and was
usually warmer by
now. He took one last look and then turned his
buckskin north to
head home. He'd spent the afternoon checking
out a stand of fir
to confirm whether or not he had the resources
to fulfill a
contract he wanted to bid on.
Now as he rode
along he was thinking of his sons, they were
his real success.
Ben was a widower, had been since his youngest
son was five. He'd
basically raised the boys alone. They were
grown men now and
yet at times Ben could still see the children
they had been.
Although their
Chinese cook Hop Sing, kept the house in
perfect order, and
served up the most wonderful meals, Ben still
would often
imagine what his life could've been had things been
different. Would
having a mother had made the boys turn out
differently?
In the case of
Adam, his eldest, he thought the answer might
have been yes.
Adam's mother had died shortly after his birth.
When Adam was five
Ben had met and married Inger Borgstrom. He
met her in the
process of traveling to the west from
Her relationship
with Adam seemed to transform him from a shy,
quiet, introverted
child, to a bold, outgoing, adventuresome boy.
She'd been very
good for him, and he was devoted to her.
During their
journey, Ben's second son Erik was born. Soon
after, Inger's
life was cut short by an Indian attack. Adam, who
had witnessed her
death became even more withdrawn and silent,
the effect of her
death was evident to Ben. He became anxious if
he was seperated
from his father and brother, and his smile
became a rare
sight. Unless he was playing with his little
brother, then he
was truly happy.
Their journey
ended in
they settled and
built their first home. Ben and his boys
learned as they
grew. Ben had left behind a lifetime at sea and
he had never
looked back.
He met his third
wife Marie on a trip to
had never lived
anywhere else and it was a difficult adjustment
for her. Though it
didn't take her long to fall in love with her
new stepsons and
her new home. Erik true to his nature, loved
her instantly, but
it had been a little more difficult breaking
through the wall
Adam had put up.
Things changed all
around them, their ranch holdings grew,
and a new home was
in the process. Adam found the whole project
fascinating, and
stayed close to observe it all.
When the house was
near completion, Marie announced that
there would soon
be another Cartwright. With that announcement
Adam seemed to
change, he would fret over Marie, watching her
every move, making
sure she did nothing to strain herself. From
that point on
their relationship blossomed and grew stronger.
Marie gave him
confidence by telling him what a great help to her
he was. She helped
him with his schoolwork, always encouraging
and praising him
when he did well. She would often put him in
charge of Erik,
letting him know he was trusted with the
responsibilty. In
time his resistance melted away and he learned
to trust her and
to love again.
On a warm fall
afternoon Ben and Marie welcomed their third
son. He was named
Joseph, after Ben's father, and was instantly
surrounded by a
loving family. The doctor had been a litte
concerned about
the infant's small size but he thrived. Erik was
a litte put out at
first but that changed the first time he got
to hold the baby.
" He's so
little ain't he " he exclaimed as he watched the
tiny fingers grasp
his own. He was enjoying it until the baby
started to wail,
then he looked to Ben for help
" Don't you
worry Erik, he'll grow and in no time he'll be
following you both
all over" Marie told him as she watched Ben
gently lift the
baby from his brother's arms. Erik jumped up on
the bed and threw
his arms around her
" Thank you
for my little brother" he said
Marie held him
close and smiled at Ben, " You're quite
welcome Sweetie
" she said. She watched Erik bounce out of the
room and head for
the yard to look for some adventure.
Marie closed her
eyes, she was feeling a contentment she'd
never known
before. She opened her eyes to watch Ben gently
rocking the baby.
He looked up at Marie and she made a subtle
indication with
her eyes. Ben turned to see Adam leaning against
the wall.
" Do you want
to hold him son?" Ben asked him
Adam gave a slight
shrug, he wanted to but was a little
afraid.
" Here sit
down here and I'll hand him to you okay?"
Adam looked at
Marie, she smiled and nodded. Adam quietly sat
in the chair and
Ben carefully placed the baby in his arms. He
stepped back and
joined Marie, sitting next to her and taking her
hand in his. They
smiled at each other and he leaned over and
kissed her cheek,
she could clearly see the satisfaction in his
eyes.
Adam sat staring
at the baby in awe, he toyed with the tiny
fingers which held
on to his own. He stared down at the little
grey eyes that
seemed to look into his soul.
" Hi Joseph,
I'm your big brother Adam" he whispered He
started to hum a
lullaby and rocked the baby ever so slightly.
To his amazement
the baby started drifting off to sleep. He
started to hum
again a little louder and watched with wonder as
the baby's eyes
fluttered and closed. Adam looked up at his
parents.
" I put him
to sleep with my song" he whispered, smiling
broadly. It was
not his typical fleeting smile, this one seemed
to consume him.
" Do you
think you could lay him down in the cradle?" Marie
asked softly. Ben
turned to her with surprise but her eyes were
on Adam.
" Sure I
can" he answered and he slowly stood up and moved to
the cradle with
slow confidence. He kneeled down and layed the
baby in the cradle
gentle as a feather. He pulled up the blanket
and touched the
tiny cheek.
" Pleasant
dreams little brother" he whispered. He stood up
and turned toward
the bed. He was still smiling as he leaned
across his father
and hugged Marie.
" He's great,
I really like him" he said then added " You
just rest now, I'll
look after Erik. I love you Ma"
Marie nearly
gasped, he'd never called her mother before.
She held him
tighter and Ben saw her eyes moisten. He sighed
deeply, they were
really one now.
Adam straigtened
up, looked at his father and suddenly hugged
him too. Ben held
him close for several minutes and thought,
things will be
different from now on.
And they were, and
continued to get better as time went on.
Adam appointed
himself mentor of his brothers, he took Erik
hunting for the
first time and put Joseph on his first horse.
By the time Erik
was ten, he was nearly as tall as his
teenaged brother.
Adam started calling him Hoss, a nickname
suggested by
Inger's brother Gunnar. It was a mountain term for
a big friendly
man, and Erik promised to be just that. In time
the name Erik was
no longer heard. Unless of course he was in
trouble.
And even Joseph
had a nickname, he became known as Little Joe
and his existence
was under the constant protection of his
family. He was a
very happy and secure little boy.
Their lives seemed
so complete, no one was prepared for the
tragedy that
befell them that summer day. Marie had come
galloping up to
the house, shouting to Ben as she rode. She had
just returned from
inspecting the new foals, when her horse
stumbled. She fell
to the ground and could not get out of the
way before her
horse tumbled atop her.
She was buried in
the very spot Ben now found himself. He
hadn't even
realized he'd headed this way. Memories had brought
him here and it
was the pain of memories that made him turn away.
He rode the rest
of the way home slowly. He was achy and
tired to the core.
He wondered if his recent bout with the flu
had something to
do with the utter weariness he felt. He'd
thought about
taking a trip to give himself a break, but there
was just too much
to do, the timing was all wrong.
He nearly breathed
a sigh of relief when he rode into the
clearing and the
house was before him. He tied Buck to the
fence and quickly
unsaddled him, then turned him loose in the
corral.
He could hear his
son's voices coming from the open window
over his desk. To
his dismay he realized they were arguing,
something they'd
been doing a lot of lately. He hesitated on the
porch trying to
hear what it was about this time.
" Well I
didn't ask for your help in the first place" he
heard his youngest
son shout.
" If I hadn't
stepped in, those fellers would'a ripped you
apart" Hoss
shouted back at him
Ben shook his
head, Joe seemed to be drawn to fights like a
magnet.
" What were
you doing in the saloon in the first place, you
were supposed to
be picking up fencing material?" Adam queried
" The same
thing goes for you, mind your business" Joe
snapped.
" You know if
you don't change your attitude, I might have to
do it for
you" Adam said almost in a monotone.
" Pa told you
to pick up supplies and get back here" Hoss
added
" That's
right Pa said, not you. So shut up"
Ben chose that
moment to step inside, before things got out
of hand.
Having heard the
click of the door each of the boys tried to
look occupied. Ben
didn't say anything, he simply walked to his
desk and sat down.
Minutes later Hop
Sing seemed to come out of hiding.
" Dinner
ready Mr. Cartlight" he announced and padded off to
the kitchen.
The four men rose
and took their places at the table. After
the blessing the
dishes were silently passed from one to the
other. Ben
frowned, he'd been hoping for some lively
conversation
tonight to lift his spirits.
" So how did
everyone make out today? Adam did you stop in
the mine office
today?" Ben asked hoping to create conversation.
" Yeah,
nothing new" Adam answered
" Hoss what
about you, how much damage do we have from
winter?"
" Well sir,
most of the fence in the north section will have
to be repaired or
replaced. The cows didn't stray far though so
gathering em up
shouldn't be a problem."
" Well you
and Joe can get to that tomorrow, any calves yet?"
" No sir, I
didn't see any, I reckon we better keep an eye
out, as cold as
it's been them little critters wouldn't survive a
night out
there" Hoss said between bites
Ben ate a few
forkfuls of food before continuing.
" Well
Joseph, did you pick up the supplies today without any
problems?"
Joe didn't miss
the glance his older brothers exchanged, but
he simply nodded.
" Good
starting tomorrow we can get down to some serious
spring cleanup. We
have a lot to do this year to get things back
in order, Joseph
pass me the water pitcher"
Joe reached for
the pitcher but never really got his eye on
it and it slipped
from his grasp and tumbled into Hoss' lap
before he could
recover it. Everyone jumped up out of reflex,
Hoss exploded.
" You little
pip squeek, you did that on purpose"
" I did not
" he shouted in defense
" You did too,
either that or you got your mind on that
Parson's girl
again"
" Shut up
" Joe hissed at him
" Boys that's
enough" Ben warned
Adam got up and
moved toward them knowing what was coming.
" If you had
any brains at all you'd know she's just using
you " Hoss
said attempting to dry himself off with a napkin.
Adam stepped in
just as Joe grabbed for Hoss and in his
attempt to push
Joe back, he accidently slapped him in the face.
" You wanna
hit me Adam, do it like a man" Joe snarled and he
punched Adam in
the face.
" I said
that's enough" Ben boomed, smashing his palms on the
table. Joe faced
his father as Hoss was helping Adam to his
feet. His left
cheek was already turning bright red, as he and
Hoss looked at
their father too. Ben looked like he was about to
erupt but he
suddenly threw his napkin on the table and stormed
up the stairs.
" Nice going
little brother" Hoss said angrily
" Shut up you
big oaf" Joe snapped back and tromped into the
living room.
" Come on you
two, cut it out" Adam said, his head was
spinning.
" You alright
Adam" Hoss said noting the look on his face
" No "
Adam said putting a hand to the back of his head
" Little Joe
hit you that hard?" Hoss said incredulous
Adam stared at him
like he'd lost his mind
" Of course
not, I hit my head on the floor when I fell "
" Oh well you
better go in the kitchen and get yourself a
steak for that eye
" Hoss said slapping him on the back
Adam stood up and
grumbled all the way to the kitchen. Hoss
shook his head,
looked for a moment at Joe, and then sat back
down. Things were
bad enough, he wasn't going to go hungry too.
Minutes later Adam
returned from the kitchen and sat opposite
Hoss. He looked in
the direction of the stairs
" Pa didn't
come back down yet?" he asked, it was not typical
behavior of their
father.
" No sir he
didn't and if he don't pretty soon, I'm moving to
town for
awhile" Hoss answered straight faced
Adam smiled
despite the atmosphere hanging over them. He
watched Hoss
eating, amazed that he even had an appetite. He
shook his head and
asked,
" What d'ya
think he's gonna do?"
" I dunno,
when's the last time you had a good tanning?"
They turned at the
sound of their father's footsteps on the
stairs. Ben looked
at Joe briefly then walked to the fireplace
and stood before
it facing his youngest son. He turned toward
the other two and
began what they knew was coming.
" I just have
one thing to say to the three of you so listen
to me and listen
good. Starting tomorrow things are going to be
different aound
here. If you want to kill each other that's
fine, but you will
fulfill your obligations to this ranch first
and foremost. If
that's asking too much of anyone of you, you're
welcome to leave
at any time. Is that understood?"
Each of them
nodded miserably, the gloom deepened.
" That's all
I have to say on the matter" Ben said and he
turned his
attention to the table, " Adam I need to see you over
here a
minute" he indicated his desk and Adam stood up to follow
him. As he did so
Joe also got up and walked to the stairs.
" Joseph
let's not complicate your problems with bad manners"
Ben said plainly
Joe gripped the
railing and mumbled goodnight
" Is that all
you have to say?" he demanded.
Adam cringed, he
knew what his father was after and if it
were up to him
he'd just as soon forget it. Joe turned to face
them and without
looking up said,
" I'm sorry I
hit you Adam " and he quickly climbed the
stairs.
Ben shook his head
and turned his attention to Adam. He took
a good look at his
cheek, by now swollen to the point that his
eye was closed.
" He poked
you good didn't he?" Ben said matter of factly
Adam gingerly
touched the sore spot and was sorry he did
" Yeah I
guess he did. It's no big deal Pa, you know how he
is"
" Adam please
don't make excuses for his behavior"
" Sorry"
Adam stated and sat down, he just wished the day
would end. He
looked to his father waiting for whatever Ben had
in mind. His head
was throbbing and he needed something to get
his mind off it.
Ben pulled out
some papers and handed them to Adam saying
" I want to
bid on this Lawson contract and I wanted you to
look it over. I
rode out this afternoon and I think we can
manage it alright.
So what I'd like you to do is go over it and
come up with a bid
for it"
Adam was trying to
look it over but was having trouble
focusing.
" When do the
bids have to be in?" he asked
" By noon on
Monday, at the Washoe Club. They'll go over
them and make a
decision by five o'clock"
Adam nodded and
looked up at his father
" You want me
to work this out tonight?" he asked afraid his
father would say
yes.
Ben was looking at
him but Adam got the impression his mind
was elsewhere.
This time when he spoke it was softer than it had
been.
" You can do it
on your own time but I would like to get our
bid in on time
okay?"
" Don't worry
about it Pa, it'll be there, I'll take care of
it" Adam said
assuredly. Ben's silence was making him uneasy so
he added "
Sorry about tonight"
Ben turned his
chair to the window and stood up to close it.
Without turning
back around he said,
" It's gotta
stop Adam. You boys have got to find a way to
get beyond all
that. You need to work as a team, this is a
business not a
schoolyard game. It's never going to work with
this useless
bickering all the time. You have to work together
for the same
objective and that cannot happen until you have the
proper respect for
each other"
He turned to face
Adam now
" I know I
shouldn't be unloading this on you alone, but
you're the oldest.
I have to rely on you to handle things when I
can't"
" What does
that mean?" Adam said his voice rising
Ben didn't answer
right away, he did not feel good about what
he was planning to
do. He looked up to see Hoss come up behind
Adam.
" Pa, I don't
mean to interrupt you fellers, I just wanted to
aapologize for
what happened earlier"
" Sit down
Hoss " Ben said barely giving Hoss the chance to
finish his
sentence. Hoss obliged, surprised at the tone of his
father's voice.
" Look boys,
I'm not always going to be here to pick up the
pieces. It's
absolutely imperative that you find a way to work
in tune with each
other, each of you doing your part to obtain
success."
Hoss looked to
Adam, he had an eerie feeling in his gut.
" Pa have you
taken sick or something?" he asked
He looked at their
anxious faces and managed to smile.
" No Hoss,
I'm not sick I promise you it's nothing like that"
He assured them.
" What is it
then Pa, what're you trying to tell us?"
Adam asked his
voice betraying the fear he felt
Ben clenched his
fists in frustration
" You're
brothers, can't you just please try to get along.
If you want to
fight amongst yourselves do it at the proper place
and time. I don't
like to listen to it, that's all"
Hoss looked at
Adam and then back at his father
" Don't worry
about it Pa, we'll work things out"
" Good, now
why don't you boys go on to bed"
Ben said and he
sat down and busied himself at the desk.
Hoss said
goodnight and stood up. Seeing Adam wasn't following
he turned and
left. Adam didn't move, he sat studying his
father's face.
Something wasn't right here and yet he couldn't
put his finger on
it. Just then his father looked up at him.
" Well, are
you still here?"
" I'm sorry,
was that an order?" Adam said dryly
" What the
part about going to bed? Of course not, but the
rest of what I
said was " he said turning back to his work
Adam stood then
and leaned across the desk
" Are you
sure you're alright Pa?"
Ben smiled at him,
touched by his son's concern.
" I'm fine
really. Go on now and put something on that eye
it looks
awful"
Adam hesitated,
trying to read his father's face but it was
useless.
" Alright I
have a nasty headache anyway, goodnight Pa"
" Goodnight
son. I'll have Hop Sing bring you up some
headache powder in
awhile "
Ben watched him
wearily climb the stairs and he felt the pang
of guilt return.
He vaguely wondered if he would hate himself
someday for what
he planned to do.
*****************************
CHAPTER 2
Adam was dreaming
he was on a stagecoach heading to parts
unknown. It was
rough going as he was being tossed about over
the unsteady
terrain. He had a headache from where he kept
hitting his head
on the side of the coach.
" Adam wake
up, what's the matter with him. Adam come on
wake up"
His youngest
brother's voice seemed to come from far away and
it took him a
minute to realize he was being shaken awake.
He sat up with
some difficulty, the headache had been real.
He looked at Joe
seated next to him and Hoss standing behind him.
" What's
going on, what time is it?" he asked trying to clear
his head.
" It's after
eight and we got a problem, a big one" Hoss
said.
" Wow look at
that eye, did I do that?" Joe said, quite
impressed.
Adam ignored him
and turned to Hoss
" What d'ya
mean, what's wrong?"
" Here read
this, see for yourself" Hoss said and heavily sat
in the chair next
to the bed.
" What's
this?"
" I found it
on Pa's desk this morning, read it"
Adam unfolded it
wishing he could see better out of his left
eye.
By the time you
boys read this I'll be well away so don't
bother to come
looking for me. I decided last night that it was
time I had a
vacation of sorts and got away for awhile. I can't
tell you when I'll
be back but I am telling you the ranch is in
your hands and I
trust you will not let me down. I am not
leaving anyone in
charge, you boys can work that out on your own.
Please remember
what I told you last night. You will all be in
my thoughts and
prayers, good luck.
Your Loving Father
" Is this
some kind of joke?" Adam said looking to Hoss
" I don't
think so Adam, I checked around. His rifle, his gear,
it's all
gone"
Adam felt his
heart drop, this could not be real. Then he
remembered how
strange Ben had behaved the night before and he
knew it was true,
that's what he'd been trying to tell them.
" This is all
my fault " Joe said miserably.
Adam glanced at
his youngest brother, he looked worse than
Adam felt.
" Forget it
Joe, we're all to blame. We acted like children"
Adam said throwing
the blankets back and walking to his
bureau.
" Look you
fellas go on downstairs. I'll meet you down there
and we'll see if
we can't make some sense of all this"
His brothers left
the room and Adam quickly dressed and
shaved. He joined
them at his father's desk, sitting in the
chair behind it.
No one had said anything it just seemed natural
for Adam to assume
the role of leader.
" Okay look I
think this is nothing more than a test. Pa
wants to know if
we could handle things without him. That's the
only reason I
could figure he would do this."
" Yeah but
why?" Hoss asked " I still say there's something
wrong with
him"
" What oh my
God!" Joe cried jumping to his feet.
Adam stood up and
gripping Joe's shoulder, glared at Hoss
" Joe he's
fine, he told us last night it was nothing like
that" he
assured him
" You mean to
tell me you two knew about this and no one told
me" he said
accusingly
Adam sat back
down, he couldn't believe he was thinking he
needed a drink at
this hour.
" No, we
didn't know he was going to do this. We just knew he
was very upset
with us"
" Yeah and
you know better'n any of us why" Hoss said.
" What the
hell is that supposed to mean?"
Adam rolled his
eyes in exasperation
" Oh come on
let's not go through this again" he groaned
" This is
exactly what started the problem, all this
bickering. You two
want to argue or you want to come up with a
plan for the
day?"
Neither of them answered
although Joe continued to glare at
Hoss.
" Okay, you
two go out and bring the cows down to spring
pasture. I'm going
to town to see about hiring our branding
crews that we're
gonna need. Later today I'll bring up the
fencing supplies
and we'll get to that. When you get down to the
pastures check the
water supplies too. It shouldn't be a problem
though, we should
have plenty of runoff this year. I'll also
check our feed
supply, it hasn't been warm enough for the grass
to grow proper so
we'll have to keep feeding them winter feed for
at least a couple
more weeks"
" Sounds good
to me " Hoss said standing " Come on Joe let's
get to it"
Joe obliged and
followed Hoss out the door as Adam leaned back
in his father's
chair, quite pleased with himself.
" So Pa
thought we'd have difficulty, we'll just see about
that" he said
feeling a little foolish for talking to himself.
He got up and
headed to the barn to head for town.
He could get some
breakfast in town while he tended to
business. He had
to check out the mine too, his father had been
hearing rumors
about one of the mines they had investments in and
he wanted to keep
abreast of things in case they needed to pull
out. With that
stop and hiring the men for branding Adam figured
he'd have a busy
day.
Ben had left
before daylight and was at the boundary of his
land by the time
the sun was fully up. He'd hesitated than, not
sure if he wanted
to go through with it. But he really did want
to get away for
awhile and rest. The boys were old enough to
handle things now,
and it was time to prove it. But he was still
sorry he had to
prove it this way. Maybe it was something he'd
done, or hadn't
done to prepare them for the responsibility but
he felt somehow
he'd failed them.
He wasn't even
sure where he was going but finally decided to
go to Sacramento
to stay with his friend Jake Townsend and his
family. Jake was a
successful attorney in California and he and
his wife Maggie
had invited Ben for a visit many times. He'd
have to send a
wire from the next town to let them know he was
coming, he
thought.
He stopped to look
back one more time at his own land. Then
with his mind made
up, he turned his horse and rode away. He was
going to just go
and have faith in himself and his sons. They
would be just fine
without him, he would not worry about them
again.
It was near
dinnertime when Adam packed up his table he'd set
up to hire a
branding crew. He'd hoped to hire the men he'd need
in one day, but
eleven men were not nearly enough. There'd been
times they'd had
to turn men away, unfortunately this wasn't one
of them.
When he drove the
wagon into the clearing he found Joe and
Hoss waiting on
the porch.
" Well the
lost returns, have a nice day?" Hoss said. Adam
heard something in
his tone he didn't like
" What does
that mean?"
" It means we
waited for two hours for you to show up with the
wire and
stuff" Joe retorted using quite the same tone Hoss had.
Adam dropped his
head, it had completely slipped his mind.
" You were a
big help to us today boy" Joe added
" Hold on Joe
I ain't through yet. Do you realize big brother
that we wasted
nearly four hours coming back here, loading the
supplies, and then
going all the way back? That doesn't include
the time we wasted
waiting for you to show up"
" I know,
look I just forgot I'm sorry" Adam said trying to
apologize
" Well I hope
you enjoyed your socializing while we were
busting our backs
up there"
" Joe I was
not socializing and you know it" Adam stated
" Sitting in
a cushy little office discussing the market
shares is not what
I call working " Joe challenged him.
Adam simply jumped
from the wagon, he wasn't in the mood to
argue.
" Quit
complaining and just do your job" he said
Joe angrily
grabbed his arm " No, you know what? >From now on
I'll do things my
way and you can pretend you're the big man
around here. I
ain't taking orders from nobody, especially you"
With that he
turned and went inside slamming the door behind him.
" Well we're
off to a good start aren't we?" Adam said
sarcastically.
Hoss didn't return his smile though
" Where were
you Adam?"
" I told you
this morning I was going to start hiring the men
we'll need for
branding crews" Adam could feel himself getting
angry now. He didn't
like the position he was in already.
" Yeah I
reckon you did. Well how many men did you get?"
Adam gave a short
laugh, almost embarrassed to admit it
" Eleven
" he said flatly
" Eleven! How
are we going to work some thousand head of
cattle with eleven
men?"
" Look you
two worry about the fences and branding pens, I'll
get the men we
need in plenty of time. I'll go out again
tomorrow, I'll go
to Carson City if I have to. Don't worry about
it, I'll take care
of it, we'll have the men we need"
Hoss raised his
big hands and waved them at Adam
" Sorry Adam,
it wasn't a good day for any of us, and our
little brother
ain't gonna make it any easier for us either"
Adam nodded, he
certainly hoped Ben was having a good time.
" Forget it
Adam, let's go eat" Hoss offered
They went inside
and the three of them ate without a word.
They would
occasionally glance at each other but nobody said
anything. As soon
as Joe
Transfer
interrupted!
d
went outside. Adam
watched him go feeling more tired than ever.
" Adam don't
pay him no mind, he'll come around"
" Yeah I
know" he answered wearily. He rose from his chair
and went up to his
room. He took his guitar from the side of the
bed and went out
on the porch to play. He sat on one of the
chairs near the wall
and played something slow and eventually
felt his worries
float away. The creation of music had always
been able to relax
him. A few minutes later Hoss joined him,
taking a chair and
leaning it against the wall. He closed his
eyes and let the
music envelope him. Hoss loved nothing better
than to listen to
Adam play on an evening like this. He'd always
been awed by his
big brother's many talents but had no desire to
learn this one
himself. It was enough to just listen to him
play. It reminded
him of his childhood, carefree and fun. And
on the lonely
nights like this Adam would play in his room and
lull the household
to sleep. It seemed as if the music had
always been there.
Joe had heard it
too from the barn and somehow found himself
listening at the
doorway. He too had grown up listening to Adam
play and to him it
had always been a comforting thing. After
Joe's mother died
Ben had plunged into a depression so deep, none
of them could
reach him. In the weeks following it had been Adam
who tried to pick
up the pieces. He sat with Joe and Hoss for
hours trying to
help them understand something he could not
comprehend
himself. He told them stories he'd learned from his
father, and he
played and sang them songs to help them sleep. He
did whatever he
could to ease the pain for his family.
As Joe thought of
these things he looked at Adam and suddenly
saw him
differently. Adam really didn't have things so easy, and
he was suddenly
aware of how lucky he was to have been born the
youngest. He would
not want to trade places with either of his
brothers for
anything in the world.
He turned to
finish his work,remembering how it was Adam who
had gotten them
through that terrible time. Although Joe hadn't
seen his mother
fall, he was tortured by nightmares for weeks
after. He would
wake up in terror and call out to his father,
but it was always
Adam who came then. And it was the familiar
sound of his
brother's voice that made him feel safe. Often he
didn't even know
what he was saying or singing, he just knew he
was there and that
was enough.
Eventually Ben
came around, but Joe and Hoss would still seek
Adam out when they
couldn't sleep. There was a particular song
that Adam used to
sing to him that made him think of his mother
and he would ask
Adam to sing it for him whenever he missed her.
He had asked for
it so often that it had gotten to the point
where he would
simply say, " Sing me that song Adam" and Adam
would
automatically know which one he meant. He was wishing now
that he knew the
name of the song, he had not heard it in a long
time and was in
just the right mood for it now.
A smile suddenly
dawned on his face and he quickly blew out he
lantern and went
to join his brothers. He sat next to Adam who
was so engrossed
in his music he hadn't noticed. When he did he
stopped playing,
to his surprise Joe smiled at him and said hi.
" Hi yourself
" Adam said raising an eyebrow
They turned when
they heard Hoss' chair drop to all four legs
" What'd ya
stop for?" he exclaimed.
Adam resumed the
song he'd been playing, now studying his
youngest brother.
He knew Joe wanted to say something but wasn't
sure what caused
the apparent change
" I'm sorry
for being so difficult Adam" Joe said suddenly.
Hoss opened one
eye. Joe was fidgeting with a piece of hay he'd
brought from the
barn " And I really am sorry I hit you " he
added.
" That's okay
Buddy, forget about it" Adam said grateful his
legs were braced
on the chair or he might've fallen out of it.
Hoss closed both
eyes and soon felt himself blissfully falling
asleep. Adam
leaned back in his chair, he was starting to feel a
whole lot better.
" Sing me
that song Adam" Joe said so quietly Adam wasn't sure
he'd really heard
it.
At first Adam's
face was a mask but then he remembered and he
smiled. Very
smoothly he switched chords and started to sing the
very song Joe
remembered. It was a song about pine trees and
lost love and Joe
felt the sadness wash over him. He could
almost feel his
mother's presence again, it was as if she touched
him. He pushed
himself back against the chair and pensively layed
his head on Adam's
shoulder. He had a terrible urge to bury his
face there and
sob, but he simply closed his eyes and let the
memories come.
Adam often
wondered why that song affected him so much but he
would never ask.
He finished the song and continued absently
strumming the
guitar. He was wishing he could make time stand
still, and at the
same time he was thinking " I wish Pa could see
us now"
************************
CHAPTER 3
As the weeks went
by things seemed to go from bad to worse
on the Ponderosa.
For Adam it was overwhelming and he was
quickly gaining a
new respect for his father. He'd always
assumed Ben
handled the paperwork end of things because it was
easy, it was in
fact anything but. The responsibility of keeping
track of their
many ventures was tremendous and all consuming.
Coming up with the
branding crews had been a nightmare. Most
of the available men
were employed at the mines and making good
money. It had
taken almost a week of traveling from town to town
to find the
necessary help.
Adam had spent so
much time on that particular project that
he very nearly
missed getting the Lawson contract done and in on
time. They were
awarded the contract in the end but that meant
more
responsibility, logging crews had to be hired, camps had to
be readied to
accommodate them, more men meant another payroll
book which in turn
meant more paperwork. Before the work could
start Adam had to
go and do the tree marking. That was something
he wanted to do
right because Ben was very particular about how
it was done.
Most of his days
were spent traveling from one project to the
other. He went to
the logging camp daily to check in with the
straw boss to make
sure everything was on schedule. From there
he would check in
with the fencing and branding crews, trying to
keep track of
every man and animal on the place. And as often as
possible he would
travel to town to check the stock dial at the
brokerage office.
The stocks in a mine in which they had heavy
investments,
seemed to be on a slow decline, that might mean he
would have to make
a decision about selling their stocks or
pulling out if it
went too far. Adam's very existence became one
decision after
another and it was costing him sleep.
Ben on the other
hand was, for the first time in many years
free of decision
making. He was enjoying this new freedom and
the company of his
old friends. As soon as he would start to
worry about his
sons, he would quickly find something to do to
distract himself.
He had to let go, it was long overdue.
Despite his best
efforts, at night when he lay within the strange
walls, he would
think about them. The pain of missing them was
so strong he could
swear it was an actual physical pain.
He knew without
being there that Adam was probably pretty
angry with him and
attempting to hold things together on his own.
And Hoss as usual
was more than likely cooperating and at the
same time trying
to act as peacemaker between Adam and the ever
uncooperative
Little Joe. The thought of his youngest son
brought a smile to
Ben's face. Joseph, bound and determined to
do things his own
way. The only thing wrong with Joe was his age
and inexperience.
Adam had been very much like him at that age
and he'd turned
out just fine.
He tried to
imagine what each of them might be doing at that
very moment. With
concentration he could almost see Hoss in the
kitchen helping
himself to one last bite to eat and a cup of
coffee to wash it
down. It was Hoss' favorite time to visit the
kitchen because he
knew Hop Sing would have long since retired to
his room and Hoss
was free to help himself. How many times had
Ben seen Hop Sing chase
Hoss from the kitchen so as not to spoil
his appetite.
There was little danger of that though he could
not remember a
time where Hoss ever refused a meal. And Hoss had
a great
appreciation of any kind of cooking, he was always
willing to try
something new. He remembered how when Hoss was
younger he'd
become self conscious about his size. He'd thought
himself awkward,
someone who didn't fit in with regular boys.
He'd endured a lot
of teasing from other children but then the
teasing turned to
challenging as he grew and Hoss had to learn to
control his temper
to keep from unwittingly hurting anyone. Hoss
was sensitive
about his size and strength because he knew he
could do some real
damage if he ever lost control. But he was
comforted by the fact
that his size could be a positive thing
too. Sometimes he
had only to be seen to be respected and that
was not something
most people could do. He was able to defend
his brothers with
his fists when he had to, of that he was very
proud.
By now Ben knew
Joe would be fast asleep. When he was awake
he had boundless
energy and could go on all day. But only as
long as he was in
motion, if he stopped to rest he could be
asleep in minutes.
He'd always seemed to need sleep more than
his brothers which
was probably because he didn't reserve any
emotions or energy
if he could help it. The boy was like a lit
fuse at times and
you never knew what would set him off. And the
way that boy could
switch moods was an amazing thing to see.
And Adam, his
eternal worrier, was more than likely off on an
evening ride or
reading in his room. Ben had lost count long ago
of how many times
he'd found Adam asleep, open book on his chest
and lantern
burning. Once he had gained the ability to read he
seemed to absorb books
and read everything he could get his hands
on. What he
couldn't read he made his father read to him until
he knew the book
by heart. His curiosity as a child never seemed
to be satisfied,
he wanted to know more, why, why not? He nearly
drove his family
to distraction with the constant questions.
Adam had learned
he could go anywhere he wanted through a book
and promised
himself that when he was able he would see as many
far away places as
he could. Now he seemed to read to just to
relax and help
himself sleep.
The more Ben
thought about his sons, the more depressed he
felt. He rolled
over on his side and closed his eyes. He prayed
for sleep to free
him of the guilt and loneliness he felt. He
tried again and
again to convince himself his actions would be
for the best, but
his heart was telling him it was time to go
home.
***********************
CHAPTER 4
The real trouble
began with the cattle after they were moved
to the branding
pens. They started coming down sick in droves
and the men had to
scramble to separate the sick from the healthy
ones. They had to
be ever watchful for ones that even looked
sick to be sure
they were moved away from the others. Despite
their best efforts
they still lost more than a hundred head.
This fact was one
of many weighing on Adam's mind as he
looked out over
the herd below him. He'd just rode in from town
when the foreman
gave him the report. After the foreman rode off
Adam had remained
in the very spot he'd been in when he got the
news. He was so
lost in thought he didn't hear Hoss ride up
alongside him.
Hoss sat watching his older brother a moment
before speaking
up.
" Adam we
lose some every dadburn year, it ain't your fault"
" Yeah I know
" Adam said, still feeling responsible "
Where's Joe?"
he asked Hoss as he sat back in the saddle.
" He's moving
the sale cows "
" Well this
certainly won't be a good year for us at the
sale" Adam
said his voice touched with anger.
" Wouldn't be
the first time " Hoss said watching the cattle
and wishing he
knew how to lift his brother's spirits. Once Adam
got himself into a
mood it was nearly impossible to get him out
of it.
Adam took a deep
breath and sat up straighter, " Ya know Hoss
I'm starting to
think you may have been right about Pa"
" What d'ya
mean " Hoss asked him
" Think about
it, it isn't like Pa to put us out on a limb
like that. By
walking out on us he put everything he's ever
worked for at
risk, why would he do that? If we fail, he loses
everything, he put
his whole life work in our hands without any
preparation or
anything, why?" He was looking right at Hoss as if
demanding an
explanation.
" Adam please
don't do this to yourself. You heard him say it
wasn't anything
like that. Pa just reached his limit I guess,
you might say we
drove him to it"
" And how
come we haven't heard anything from him, nothing?"
" I don't
know but I'm sure he'll explain it when he gets
back" Hoss
said firmly not wanting to discuss the issue any
further.
" Yeah, if he
gets back " Adam said dryly
" Now Adam
that's enough of that talk. You keep talking like
that and Little
Joe'll get wind of it. And if he does he'll get
all upset and go
searching the countryside looking for him. And
you know as well
as I do there won't be a dadblame thing we can
do to stop
him"
Adam nodded
absently petting his horses neck. Hoss wasn't
sure if he'd
gotten through to him so he added
" Besides we
can't spare him or anyone else right now"
Adam looked up now
and noticed the sun setting, it was a
beautiful sight to
see.
" You know I
got half a mind to go looking for him myself"
" Oh yeah,
well where would you start looking?" Hoss
challenged.
" Oh come on
I know where he is, he's in San Francisco.
That's where he
always goes when he wants to get away for awhile"
" Well that's
all very clever big brother but where would he
go if he didn't
want to be found" Hoss remarked with the sound of
authority.
Adam hadn't
thought about that and it was true. Their father
could be just
about anywhere. Lately when he had thought about
his father he had
been somewhat comforted by the fact that he
could always find
Ben if he needed him. But now he had a sudden
feeling of dread,
what if he never saw him again. Hoss didn't
miss the look that
came across his brother's face
" Adam if Pa
was in any real trouble, he'd be here with us,
not off by himself
somewhere"
Adam figured that
was probably true too. Ben had always
reminded them that
they didn't have to face their problems alone.
They always had
each other and the strength of four was always
better than one
alone. Hoss suddenly broke into his thoughts,
" Ya know
something Adam, I just got a sneaking hunch that Pa
is right here on
this ranch. He's just hiding out somewhere
waiting for us to
holler help"
Hoss was rewarded
with a faint smile,so he tried for more
" Remember
how Pa told us he used to follow a ways behind us
the first few
times he let us go to town alone?"
Adam nodded and
the smile deepened so Hoss kept going
" And
remember he told us how one time he was so busy watching
us he got himself
knocked off his horse by a tree limb?"
Now Adam laughed
and added " And he had to walk all the way
back to the
house"
At that they both
laughed for some time. When it was quiet
again Hoss said,
" If I find out he's been here all along, I'll
be mad enough to
bite a porcupine"
That made Adam
laugh harder and he said, " I'd pay good money
to see that"
It grew quiet
again and the brothers watched the sun disappear
together. It was
something they'd done as children and it
brought them both
a little peace.
" We best be
getting on home Adam" Hoss suggested
" Yeah we
better or Joe will send a posse out after us" Adam
said and
neckreined his horse off the hill and down the slope.
Hoss fell in behind
him and they rode along listening to the
sound of their
horses hooves. By the time they got home and got
their horse bedded
down it was near nine o'clock.
" Boy I sure
am hungry " Hoss stated as they walked to the
house.
" When aren't
you? " Adam said, having regained his sense of
humor. They walked
in the big front door and stripped themselves
of the heavy gear
necessary for working stock.
" Let's see
what's in the kitchen " Hoss said throwing his hat
towards the
hatrack.
" You go
ahead, I'm not really hungry "
" How about a
cup of coffee then?" Hoss offered
" Okay that
would be great" Adam said and walked to his
father's desk.
There seemed to be no end to the bookkeeping that
had to be done.
Fifteen minutes
later Hoss returned with two steaming cups
" Just the
way you like it Adam, hot"
Adam gave him a
grateful smile and took one of the cups
"Thanks I
could use it" he said sitting back to savor the taste.
Hoss sat himself
down next to the desk and set his cup down.
He looked at the
pile of papers and books and shook his head
" I don't
know how you have the patience for that stuff"
" What makes
you think I do?" Adam quipped as he placed the
cup down and
looked up " I wonder where Joe is?"
" Now Adam
don't go fretting about him, he'll be along"
Hoss no sooner got
the words out when they heard the sound of
a horse
approaching the house. Adam got up to look out the
window.
" Is it
him?" Hoss asked
" Yeah it's
him and it don't look good"
Within minutes the
door clicked open and slammed shut. Joe
took off his hat
and gunbelt and soon joined them, throwing an
envelope on the
desk as he approached.
" Well how'd
we do?" Adam asked already knowing the answer
" We'd been
better off butchering them and selling the meat"
Joe said bitterly.
" Oh come on
you two, why do you always have to look at things
that way. We
could've been a lot worse off if we'd lost them
along with the
others" Hoss admonished them.
" Yeah I
suppose you're right " Adam agreed
" And those
new calves we got out there are the sturdiest
little critters
this place has ever seen. Just think what we'll
have next year. So
we're having a bad year so what, we'll have a
better one next
year." Hoss said exasperated with their pessimism
Nobody said
anything for several minutes until Joe said,
"Did you
notice anymore that looked sick?"
" No we
didn't and the ones we separated are looking better.
I think I'll wait
another week or so and then put them back with
the others"
Hoss was right things were looking up a little.
" Anyone
heard anything about Pa yet?" Joe asked
Adam and Hoss
looked at each other, and both wished they had
something to tell
him.
" He'll be
back any day now" Hoss said trying to sound
convincing.
" Well I'm gonna
go put Cochise to bed and get myself some
coffee" Joe
announced and left for the barn. His brothers waited
until they heard
his footsteps fading
" I sure hope
he comes home soon " Adam said quietly as if Joe
could still hear
them.
" Me too,
what d'ya suppose he's doing?" Hoss asked
" I don't
know maybe he's courting some rich old widow woman
and it's taken him
this long to talk her into marrying him. Just
think Hoss he may
not come home alone"
" Oh Lordie,
don't even say that, I don't want to be having
that on my mind
too" Hoss warned
Adam was rather
enjoying the expression on his brother's face
as he said, "
He may come home with a big old woman who wants Pa
all to herself
"
Hoss pushed
himself out of the chair, thoroughly disgusted by
the whole idea
" Well I'll tell ya, if he does that I reckon
she's welcome to
him cause I certainly won't have any use for
him" and he
turned to head up the stairs. He mumbled goodnight
and left Adam
laughing softly.
************************
CHAPTER 5
Ben found himself
in a very awkward position and was
desperately trying
to think of a way to leave the room
inconspicuously.
His host, Mr. Townsend, was having a serious
confrontation with
his oldest son and Ben did not care to be
caught in the middle
of it. This was a private matter and he
need not be a
witness.
" What were
you thinking?" his friend Jake demanded of the
boy
" I don't
understand what you're yelling about, you paid the
fine so let's
forget it" the boy shouted back
Ben groaned
inwardly, not any one of his sons would be so
irresponsible.
" Haven't you
been listening to me, I'm not talking about a
fine here
John"
John stared at his
father, he was getting annoyed
"Don't you
have any remorse at all for what you did?"
" Come on
Father, you're an attorney you'll take care of it"
Jake Townsend had
enough "That's it John, you will not join
your friends
tonight, you will remain at home"
" The hell I
will " John sneered and headed for the door.
Jake grabbed his
arm and Ben was horrified to see the boy take a
swing at his
father. Jake was able to avoid the impact but not
able to stop his
son from walking out the door. He turned to Ben
and shook his
head, " Can you believe that boy?"
Ben didn't know what
to say, no he could not. He'd never
seen such a
display of disrespect. Jake sat down and sighed
" Well you
have boys you know how it is" Jake stated
" Well Jake
I'm no expert believe me" Ben said trying to
think of something
else they could talk about.
" What did
you do when your boys started thinking they knew
better?" Jake
asked him seriously
" Oh Jake, I
don't think it's matter of who knows better, I
think it's more
about a level of acceptance"
Jake looked
thoughtful a moment and than sat back scratching
his head "
All I know is I've reached my limit with John. I'm
almost looking
forward to his leaving for school in the fall"
And what then? Ben
thought to himself, some day he will find
himself in trouble
that you can't fix for him. But he said
nothing. Jake saw
the look of sadness on Ben's face and said,
" I know that
sounds cruel Ben, it's not that I don't love my
son, I do. It's
just that I can't talk to him anymore because he
doesn't listen. He
does exactly the opposite of what I ask of
him. Then he gets
himself into trouble knowing I'll get him out"
" Then don't
" Ben said before he could stop himself
Jake's eyebrows
shot up " Don't, what d'ya mean Ben?"
" Jake what
I'm trying to say is maybe John needs to learn to
take responsibility
for his actions"
" I guess
you're right but I'm afraid it's too late with
John, hopefully I
have a chance with Matthew" he said sadly. He
stood up wearily
" Well Ben I'll see if Maggie is ready to leave
for the Anderson's
"
Ben was rather
relieved when he left the room. He'd never
seen a man so
unconcerned with his children's behavior. When he
thought about it,
even the other two children seemed to be
lacking in the
courtesy department.
He recalled the
afternoon their daughter Martha brought a
friend home and
didn't bother to introduce the young lady to Ben
until her parents
reminded her that he was there.
And then there was
the evening the youngest boy Matthew came
to the table for
dinner and tore into his meal without waiting
for his father to
give proper thanks. He frowned remembering how
Maggie and Jake
had smiled and commented on how cute the boy was.
And now tonight
John had actually tried to strike his father.
The whole idea of
a boy doing that was incomprehensible to Ben.
He could not
imagine one of his sons doing such a thing.
Later that night
Ben watched the Townsend children closer.
He did not believe
in judging people but he wondered why what was
obvious to him,
was not obvious to them. He then wondered how
people on the
outside might have seen his family. He knew he was
far from the
perfect parent and he would not have appreciated
someone trying to
tell him how to raise his boys.
All the years the
boys were growing up there were countless
woman trying to
tell him that he had to get married again because
the boys needed a
mother. One of them even had the gall to
suggest that he
order a wife from a mail order service.
Shortly after
Marie's death Hop Sing had come to stay with
them. At the time
Joseph was big enough not to need a full time
nursemaid, and
somehow they had all managed just fine. There had
been times that
Ben went without sleep worrying about the fact
that the boys
needed a woman's touch and his responsibility to
provide that to
them. He smiled remembering the times even his
sons seemed to get
into the act of matchmaking. At those times
he was never sure
if they had his best interest in mind or
theirs. The smile
faded from his face as the familiar ache of
homesickness hit
him. He was quite surprised when he thought
about the fact
that he'd been at the Townsends for over a month,
he hadn't even
realized it had been that long. " It's time to go
home Ben" he
said to himself and this time he really wanted to,
the time had come.
He made the
announcement to his hosts the following evening
after they had
retreated to the parlor.
" Oh Ben you
aren't thinking of leaving right away are you?"
Maggie cried in
protest
" But Maggie
surely I've worn out my welcome by now. I
hadn't realized it
myself but it's been more than a month. I
really should get
home, I was hoping to leave in the morning"
" Oh but Ben
you can't, we must have a farewell dinner for
you, and we will
have to have the Andersons over to say goodbye.
And surely you
haven't forgotten the play we planned to attend?"
" Oh no
Maggie you and Jake have done way too much already,
it's over
due" Ben said persistently
" Nonsense
Ben you will honor us by at least staying until
after the play,
you can leave the following morning" Jake
insisted
Ben was torn, he'd
already set his heart on leaving in the
morning. The
Townsends had been so gracious he hated to hurt
their feelings. He
knew it would probably be a long time before
he got out this
way again.
" Alright but
I must leave first thing the following morning
and I'm afraid I
will have to impose on you one last favor. I
will need the loan
of a buggy so I might send my sons a wire to
let them know when
I'll be home"
" No
imposition at all Ben, you can go with me tomorrow to the
office and we'll
spend the day together. You haven't as yet
tried the steak at
my friend Dave's, best steak in the territory.
Think about it Ben
it may have come from your own ranch"
" Yes he does
have a fine place there, Jake and I do try to go
once a month with
the children" Maggie agreed
" It's
settled then Ben, you will stay until Thursday" Jake
announced.
He leaned forward
in his chair and lit his pipe inhaling
deeply for a puff
or two.
" I must insist
then that you, Maggie and the children give us
equal time out at
the Ponderosa very soon" Ben offered
Maggie
thoughtfully lowered her sewing to her lap " Oh Jacob
that would be
refreshing wouldn't it?"
" Now Maggie
you know I can't leave my office for that length
of time, think of
the business I would lose" Jake admonished her
not seeing the
disappointment in her eyes
" Oh Jake
surely it wouldn't hurt to close the office up for a
long vacation. It
does wonders for you believe me. And I owe
you at least that
much" Ben said
" I
appreciate the gesture Ben but I just don't think I could
get away"
" I
understand Jake " Ben said but he was disappointed. He'd
been thinking a
few weeks away from this city of confusion might
be the very thing
they needed to get in touch with each other.
" Perhaps the
children and I could go " Maggies suggested,
then turning to
her husband added " That is if you wouldn't
object Jacob"
" No of
course not Dear, I might rather enjoy having the house
to myself for a
spell. That reminds me I have some paperwork I
must attend to
before tomorrow's inquest, excuse me Dear, Ben"
Just as Jake was
leaving the room their daughter Martha came
floating down the
stairs. Her mother reached out to take her
hand as she passed.
" Oh Martha
darling isn't it wonderful? Mr. Cartwright has
invited us to stay
out at his ranch for a few weeks. We could
leave when you
start your vacation"
" What?"
the girl nearly shouted
" Father
wouldn't be able to accompany us of course but you
and I and the boys
could go. We'd have a wonderful time darling"
Martha abruptly
pulled her hand from her mother's grasp and
looking at Ben and
with nothing short of contempt said, " I'm
sorry Mother, but
the idea of spending my summer on a farm does
not appeal to me
at all" with that she lifted her chin and left
Ben watched her
saunter off and he then understood her aloof
treatment towards
him. She considered Ben nothing more than a
common farmer,
someone beneath her dignity. The realization
brought a sad
smile to Ben's face.
" I'm sorry
Ben" Maggie said softly
" That's
alright Maggie, I know perfectly well our children's
idea of fun
doesn't always coincide with our own. I'm sure John
has other plans as
well. But you and Matthew are more than
welcome for as
long as you want" Ben said seeing in her the very
weariness he
himself had felt only a few weeks earlier. He
wanted so much to
do something for her.
" I do thank
you Ben but I couldn't leave Jake with the
responsibility of the
other two children, it wouldn't be right.
Maybe we'll come
for a weekend some time if things ever slow down
for Jake"
" Well
regardless you are welcome any time, remember that.
And I do want to
thank you again for being so very kind to me
these long weeks
that I've been here"
" Oh no Ben,
it is I who is indebted to you. It's been so
nice to have
someone to talk to in the evenings like this. Jake
is always so busy
we just never seem to have the time to just sit
and enjoy each
others company anymore"
Ben was touched by
the deep, sad loneliness in her eyes
" Maybe you
should insist he get away with you for a holiday.
I'm sure the
children would be able to fend for themselves for a
short time"
Maggie was looking
out the window by her shoulder " Perhaps
but it isn't
likely. It's funny, but Jacob has managed to
accomplish all the
things he set out to do. He's a successful
lawyer, we have a
wonderful home, beautiful children, and yet I
can't help feeling
that something is missing"
She looked at Ben
sadly, but quickly recovered her smile
" Oh listen
to me go on, I apologize Ben. You must be
excited about
going home, I know you miss your sons. The last
time I saw them
was just after Marie died. Adam and Hoss were
nearly as tall as
you then and Joseph was just a baby, how old is
he now?" she
asked thoughtfully
" He'll be
twenty three this fall" Ben said trying to picture
his son's face.
" Twenty
three, I can't believe it. He was such a sweet
little boy and I
shall never forget those big green eyes of his.
Oh I would love to
see them again Ben"
" You will
Maggie, if not at the ranch, I will have to bring
them with me the
next time I come this way"
She smiled
gratefully at Ben but it was as if they both knew
it would be a long
time if ever that she would see them again.
" I do wish
you had a picture of them " she said
Ben had wished the
same thing each time they talked about
them
" You know
Maggie that is something I must get done when I get
back home"
Ben declared smiling broadly
" Well you be
sure if you do, that you have two taken so that
you can send me
one" Marie said brightly, she knew it was the
probably the only
way she would see them.
Later that night
Ben wished again that he had a picture, he
missed them worse
then ever and longed for a reunion. He
imagined what that
would be like to try and cheer himself. He
could not wait to
see them and hug them again. He vaguely
wondered if they
would be angry with him, at least with Adam he
knew the answer
was yes.
*****************************
Part 2
CHAPTER 6
Things seemed to
be running smoother as the days grew longer
and warmer. The
branding was finished and the crews paid off,
with Adam keeping
some of the men on to handle the day to day
work.
The fresh and dry
cows had to be separated for breeding
purposes and Adam
made a visit to their neighbor Mr. Bishop
seeking the use of
his new Hereford bull for the second year.
Hoss had been
right about the sturdiness of the new white face
babies. Adam was hoping
for a bigger crop of these calves for
the following
year, to make up for the losses of the current one.
They would still
have to utilize their own bull knowing that
people would be
hesitant to purchase the little red critters with
the white faces,
simply because they were different. Adam found
them quite
appealing and he imagined having a whole herd of then
in the future.
On his trips to
town he found the stocks seemed to have
leveled off too,
so he could relax a little about that. Even
progress at the
logging camp was steady and just about on
schedule. And best
of all Hoss and Joe were cooperating and
holding up their
part of the work. Ben had been right things did
seem to run
smoother when they worked together. But the truth be
known they were
all so busy there wasn't time for disagreements
and such. They
didn't see each other until they came home at the
end of the day to
eat and it was usually dark by then. And if he
really admitted it
to himself Adam could see that Joe was only
cooperating
because he was depressed, worried sick about his
father and his
whereabouts. That was something Adam knew without
asking him.
Whenever he thought about it Adam would get angry
with his father
and as usual the anger would quickly be replaced
with guilt. What
if Hoss had been right all along? Maybe their
father had gone
off seeking medical help, or worse maybe he'd
gone off to die.
But he knew that couldn't be the case Ben would
never allow
himself to be buried anywhere but here on the ranch.
Realizing that
fatigue was interfering with his thinking he
decided to give
himself a break from the paperwork. He rose from
the chair and
stretched at length, before heading out to the
barn. His brothers
were out there going over the gear they would
need for the horse
breaking they'd be doing for the next few
weeks. He decided
he'd rather have some company for awhile.
Hoss and Joe
looked up when he walked in but didn't say
anything. Adam
found himself a seat on an old trunk that no one
could even remember
the contents of.
"Well how we
doing?" Adam asked
" Just fine
big brother if you like sewing leather" Hoss said
" Now Hoss if
you do a good job I can bring you some mending
from the house
" Adam said mocking him
" Very funny,
here you go " Hoss said as he laid a handful of
tack in his
brother's lap " You can fix these here halters"
" What"
Adam exclaimed " I came out here to take a break"
" Well you
are, this is better than paperwork any day"
Adam smiled at him
enjoying the jocularity. He sorted out
the leather and
started in on one of the halters. He glanced at
Joe, who appeared
engrossed in his work. He hadn't spoken a word
since Adam's
entrance, and Adam noticed dark circles under his
eyes. He silently
cursed his father for his brother's pain.
" Hey Joe we
missed you at dinner earlier, where were you?"
Adam asked
lightly.
Joe picked his
head up looking as if someone had just woken
him.
" I just had
something to do that's all" he said quietly
Adam could tell he
wasn't going to willingly give out any
information. He
looked to Hoss who indistinctly shrugged, "Who's
gonna break the
record this year for riding them broncs to a
standstill "
Hoss said trying to get Joe talking
" As tired as
I've been Hop Sing could probably outride me"
Adam said flatly
Hoss gave a short
laugh and said, " Let's tell Hop Sing we'll
give him a bonus
for every bronc he rides to a stop"
" Just my
luck he'd be able to do it" Adam said with a smile
" Yeah than
he'd wanna change his job and move into the
bunkhouse"
Hoss said laughing now " Let's see ya explain that one
to Pa"
Joe suddenly
jumped up, threw his work on the ground and
rushed out of the
barn.
" I guess I
shouldn't have said that " Hoss said sheepishly
Adam set his jaw
angrily, " I swear Hoss, I'm never gonna
forgive Pa for
doing this to him. He could at least send word
that he's alright.
Didn't he think we'd be worried?"
" It sure
seems like he would'a let us know something by now"
Hoss agreed.
" You think I
should go to San Francisco and see if he's
there? Adam asked
but a frown soon creased his face " What am I
talking about, I
can't leave"
Hoss fumbled with
the leather in his hands feeling as
helpless as his
brothers. The stress was getting to all of them
and for perhaps the
first time in his life Hoss found himself
disappointed with
his father.
" Tell ya
what Adam, we'll give him until the end of the week
and if we don't
hear something one way or the other, I'll set out
looking for
him"
Adam looked at him
absently then said, " What do you think
now Hoss? You
think something happened to him?"
"Adam I told
you before he wouldn't do something like that"
Adam shook his
head and put a hand to Hoss' shoulder to get
his attention
" No no,
that's not what I mean. What if he left with every
intention of just
getting away for a little while. Something
could've happened
to him coming or going"
" Like
what?" Hoss asked ignoring the obvious answers
" You gotta
be kidding me, any number of things, he could've
been bushwhacked,
attacked by renegade Paiutes, his horse
could've stumbled
and broke a leg and left him stranded
somewhere, you
want me to go on?"
" No I reckon
you don't need to, I been sitting here trying
not to think about
that possibility"
Adam saw the
expression on his brother's face and he suddenly
felt sick himself.
If something had happened this nightmare
would never end.
And if Ben was in fact dead, if would be up to
him to pick up the
pieces. The news would be devastating enough
for Hoss, but to
have to tell Joe. He quickly shook the thought
from his head.
" What d'ya
say we go look for our little brother?" Adam
suggested
" Yeah we
might have a long night ahead of us " Hoss said
getting to his
feet.
They didn't have
to go far, as soon as they walked out of the
barn they could
see him sitting on the porch. Adam and Hoss
looked at each
other with relief. Joe saw them coming and
hastily wiped his
eyes on the sleeve of his shirt trying to
compose himself
before they reached him.
Adam and Hoss
stepped up on the porch and each pulled up a
chair beside him
and sat down. They sat close to him trying to
come up with
something to say, Adam spoke first
" How ya
doing Kid?" he said feeling an uncomfortable
tightness in his
chest.
Joe winced and
furiously bit his bottom lip struggling for
control. Any other
time that statement would have made him
angry. But at that
moment he wished fervently that he was a kid
again.
Seeing his
reaction his brothers simultaneously put an arm
around his
shoulders and looked at each other. Joe wanted to say
something but at
the same time he didn't want to cry in front of
them. He was
vigorously wringing his hands when he said,
" You know
where I was tonight?" He quickly covered his eyes
and took a deep
breath before continuing " I went up by the lake"
Neither brother
had to ask him where, they already knew. Joe
continued with
difficulty " I was looking for a spot for Pa's
headstone, near my
mother's"
Hoss squeezed his shoulder
and felt his own resolve giving
out. " Joe
don't" he pleaded
Adam knelt in
front of him with a hand on each knee and
looked into his
eyes
" Joe listen
to me, Pa is not dead. I promise you that, he's
not dead"
" How do you
know that?" Joe demanded
" Because if
he was dead I would know it, I would feel it.
Remember how he
used to tell us he could feel us even when he was
away from us? It's
true Joe, I know it is because I can feel it
and so can
you"
Joe stared at him
suspiciously, so Adam grabbed his hand and
placed it against
his chest.
Close your eyes
and concentrate and I promise you you'll feel
it"
Joe did and for
several seconds nobody moved. Hoss was
staring at Adam
trying to figure out if he was simply trying to
placate their
brother, or if he was telling the truth. He
thought about
closing his own eyes because he desperately wanted
to feel it too.
Joe opened his
eyes and looked at Adam searchingly
" You really
believe he's okay?"
" Yes I
do" Adam said without any hesitation " I know he is,
don't you?"
Joe wiped his eyes
on his arm again and took a deep breath
" Well I hope
he gets his butt home soon cuz I'm tired of
this and need some
time off"
The three of them
laughed and Joe found himself encircled in
his brothers'
arms. He was at least thankful that no matter what
happened he had
them. When they separated Joe managed a small
grin
" You suppose
we could take enough time off tomorrow to go to
church Boss?"
Adam smiled and
cupping a hand behind Joe's neck said,
" You bet we
could"
Joe took another
long shaky breath, " Well I'm gonna get to
bed then,
goodnight"
Adam and Hoss said
goodnight as he walked away. When he was
gone Adam stood up
and plopped himself into the chair Joe had
vacated. He too
let out a long breath of relief
" I sure am
glad you told him that story Adam. For a minute
there I felt like
the world had come to an end"
Adam was staring
straight ahead and in a hushed tone said,
" It wasn't a
story Hoss, I meant every word of it"
*****************************
CHAPTER 7
Adam sat in the
pew next to his brothers and fidgeted,
trying to
concentrate on what the Reverend was saying. It wasn't
that Adam didn't
believe in God or what the Reverend had to say.
It was just that this
was not his preference for worship. He
preferred to be
out in the very atmosphere He created, like by
the lake or the
solitude of the pine trees. He found the Church
somehow confining
and stuffy.
He glanced around
the packed room and noticed Hoss and Joe
were listening
intently. Hoss threw him a glance when the good
Reverend said
something about forgiveness. Finally the last hymn
was sung and they
walked out into the fresh air.
" I want to
go by the brokerage office while we're in town"
Adam said as they
walked up the street. One look at the stock
dial made him wish
he hadn't come, the stocks had plunged. At
first he felt
devastated, but slowly anger crept in and he
convinced himself
he didn't care anymore. He couldn't come to
town every day, it
hadn't been possible, so he would just let Ben
worry about it
when he got back, if he got back. Frustrated he
started walking
back to where he'd left his brothers waiting.
" Home
Adam?" Hoss said surprised at the sudden change in
him.
" Yeah let's
go" Adam answered without a break in stride.
Hoss and Joe fell
in behind him, nearly having to run to keep up.
They turned when
they heard someone shouting at them and found
the telegrapher
running toward them. He stopped a moment upon
reaching them to
catch his breath.
" I been
waiting for one of you fellas to come to town,
never thought I'd
get all three of ya. I got this here telegram
a couple days ago,
you might be real interested in this one"
Joe snatched it
from him before he finished, quickly scanned
it and suddenly
let out a war whoop. Hoss tried to grab it from
him as he was
dancing around them. He finally succeeded and
after reading it
himself, he grabbed Joe in a bear hug and
continued the
celebration.
The telegrapher
turned his attention to Adam, " Well I'm
glad I finally
caught up with you fellas, I was fixing to bring
it out to the
ranch if you didn't come in soon. Take care now"
and he walked
away.
Adam was frowning
at his brothers who were by now attracting
attention. Hoss
suddenly thrust the telegram in his hand
shouting, "
He's coming home Adam, he's on his way, he'll be home
before we know
it"
Adam looked at it
briefly then abruptly crushed it in his
hand and threw it
on the ground and walked away.
Hoss stood dumbfounded
as Joe ran after him and grabbed his
arm. " Adam
didn't you read it, he's coming home" Joe cried his
eyes bright.
" Big
deal" Adam growled and kept walking. Joe angered now
stopped in front
of him " What's the matter with you?" he
demanded
" Me? What
about you? Last night you were practically
suicidal and now
look at you."
Hoss had joined
them by now and said, " Adam he's alive, he's
okay. Don't you
see, he's coming home and everything's okay"
Adam turned on him
so suddenly and savagely that Hoss stepped
back.
" Are you
crazy? He goes off and leaves us to drown for
almost two months,
puts us through sheer hell, and you're gonna
forgive him just
like that? Well I'm sorry I can't and I won't,
you two go ahead
and have your little party, count me out"
They watched him
walk away both of them torn about what to
do. As happy as
they were about their father's return, Adam's
obvious pain was
something neither of them could ignore.
" What should
we do?" Joe asked
" First let's
find him, then we'll see if we can get him to
come home with
us"
They found him the
first place they looked, in the saloon.
He stood by the
bar with a drink before him. Hoss could see what
was coming, he had
to get him out of there.
" Little
early for that isn't it?" he said but he got no
response.
" Adam let's
go home where we can talk about this " Joe
suggested. Adam
didn't move and Joe looked to Hoss for help.
Hoss shook his
head and motioned for Joe to follow as they went
to a table by the
wall and sat down.
" What
now?" Joe asked him looking at his brother's back.
" Just let
him be for awhile, he'll cool down"
They sat back and
watched him, occasionally turning to watch
the other people
milling about. They didn't see Pete Abbott come
in and stand next
to Adam. He was an old friend and owner of the
feed store. Adam
didn't take any notice of him either, his mind
was elsewhere.
That is until the man spoke
" Hey Adam,
seen the stock dial lately? You should'a pulled
out when you had
the chance. Your father will be lucky to keep
the clothes on his
back now"
It was a simple,
harmless statement, mostly said in jest. But
to Adam it was the
last straw and he exploded. He shoved Pete off
the bar and was on
him. Pete rewarded him with a punch to the
face. Adam's
brothers leaped to their feet but not before Adam
returned the
favor.
Pete backed off as
soon as Hoss jumped between them but Adam
was out of
control. Hoss was forced to physically remove him
from the building,
pinning him against the wall outside. Adam
didn't even seem
aware that it was Hoss who was holding him,
" Adam you
cool down, it ain't Pete you're mad at. You quit
it right now. Now
I mean it stop" Hoss shouted at him.
It was several
minutes before Hoss felt safe releasing him
and even then he
held his shoulders. He could feel Adam
trembling with
rage.
" It's over
take it easy, you okay now?" Hoss asked noticing
that Adam was
looking at him.
Adam nodded and
shook his shoulders free, he touched his
cheek and winced.
" Yep you got
yourself another one big brother" Hoss said and
stopped to look
around them, " Let's get on home Adam, what dya
say?"
Without answering
Adam started walking in the direction
they'd left their
buggy. He climbed in the front without
bothering to pick
up the reins. Hoss took that to mean he had to
take over so he
climbed in next to him. He waited for Joe to
climb aboard and
slapped the horses into motion. Joe slumped
down in the seat
and silently prayed Hoss would be able to calm
him down. When he
was like this Joe was afraid of him and stayed
out of the way. It
always amazed him that Hoss could reach him
and get results
most of the time. It was a part of their
relationship that
had nothing to do with him.
" Look Adam I
know you're angry with Pa and you have every
right to be. When
he gets home you're more than welcome to let
him have it, but
you make sure you save it for him. You can't go
around taking it
out on the people around you, that ain't like
you" Hoss
told him, keeping his eyes on the trail ahead of him.
He watched Adam
out of the corner of his eye. He was sitting
with his arms
folded across his chest staring at his boots. But
he had calmed down
considerably. He spoke up barely loud enough
for Hoss to hear
him, " It hurts Hoss, it hurts bad, he had no
right to do this
to us."
" I know Adam
and you're right, just because me and Little Joe
are happy don't
mean we ain't hurt too."
" I know
that" Adam said bitterly
" Good, I
just don't want you thinking we're taking sides here
cause we ain't.
We're here for you just like always"
Adam didn't
respond to that but Hoss knew he understood what
it meant. He knew
Adam and he knew he needed the silence to get
himself together
again. If he wanted to say something he would
but in his own
time.
After sometime
Adam scooted down in the seat and put his head
back. He closed
his eyes but Hoss knew he wasn't sleeping
although he
wouldn't blame him if he did. Hoss turned to look at
Joe, he was
stretched out the length of the seat and sound
asleep.
" I guess we
lost one " Hoss said to Adam
" Well you
can carry him in the house, I'm too tired" Adam
said dryly.
" We could
drop him in the trough when we get home" Hoss
suggested giving
Adam his elfish grin. As expected Adam smiled
just a little,an
accomplishment Hoss was proud of. He thought
himself the only
person around who could make Adam laugh, even
when he didn't
feel like it.
" I sure am
getting hungry, how about you?"
Adam nodded and
pulled his hat down over his eyes.
" I sure hope
Hop Sing has lunch ready, I sure enough could
go for some of his
roast beef" he added " What about you?"
Adam tipped his
hat up and looked at his brother, " A cold
steak would sure
hit the spot" he said and to Hoss' relief he was
smiling.
*************************
CHAPTER 8
When Adam woke he
could not remember ever feeling any worse
than he did at
that moment. He dragged himself to the mirror and
examined his right
eye, it looked bad. And just when his left
eye had gotten
back to normal.
He half heartedly
dressed and shaved and went down to
breakfast. His
brothers were already there eating and talking
enthusiastically
about the day ahead. Adam wasn't sure he'd be
able to eat, his
stomach had been unsteady since the day before.
Hop Sing brought
him a plate with steaming food.
" Thanks Hop
Sing" he said quietly
" You eat
this time Mr. Adam, you no eat last night"
" Okay I
will" he promised and Hop Sing went back to the
kitchen.
He sampled his
food without any interest in joining his
brothers' lively
conversation.
" You just
get that bull down here first and then you can
ride all the colts
you want" Hoss said shaking a fork at Joe
" Why do I
have to do it?" Joe protested
" It ain't
that hard little brother, just open the gate and
fall in behind
him,he knows where to go"
" Yeah if he
wants to" Joe said frowning " Sometimes he has a
mind of his
own"
" Don't you
fret about it Joe, we'll be sure and save you the
rankest
colts"
They glanced at
Adam who was picking at his breakfast. He
sat with one elbow
on the table and his head resting on his hand.
They knew it would
be best to leave him be until he was feeling
better.
They looked up at
the sound of someone at the door. Adam
rose to answer it,
opening the door to find the camp foreman
Mick.
"Morning
Adam, sorry to bother you so early but we got a
problem up at camp
and think you better come up there"
" What kind
of problem Mick?" Adam asked him
" Well sir
it's that Oliver fella Adam, he's complaining
about the way
we're cutting and the other men are listening to
him. They say they
either cut their way or not at all. I left
them sitting there
Adam to come fetch you, but we're losing
valuable time as
we speak"
" Alright
Mick, let's see if we can straighten this out" Adam
said grabbing his
hat off the rack.
Arriving at camp
they found the men sitting around just as
Mick said. Adam
dismounted his horse, took a deep breath and
turned to face the
men.
" Alright
boys what seems to be the holdup here?"
Nobody looked at
him or spoke, but Adam saw one man coming
toward him out of
the corner of his eye. He knew it was Oliver
without turning,
he'd seen him the first day. He was built not
unlike Hoss and
was nearly as tall, but the resemblance ended
there. He was a
typical bully, used his size to intimate people
and to get what he
wanted. He walked up to Adam and stood within
inches of him.
" We don't
like the way things are being run here big man.
The marking was
done by a fool, we're wasting time cutting a
little here and a
little there. Anyone knows you find a stand
and you clear
it"
Adam didn't
flinch, he'd dealt with men like him before. Big
mouth, little
brain, he thought.
" That's not
how we do it here, we use controlled cutting for
preservation
purposes. As far as wasting time Mr. Oliver, we
were right on
schedule until this morning"
" Well you
could be ahead of schedule if you do it my way and
that's what I say
we do. Get rid of him, he's worthless" Oliver
said indicating
Mick.
" Mick is foreman
here and if you want to work you'll do so
to our
specifications. If not you're free to pick up your wages,
pack your gear and
leave" He spoke without taking his eyes off
the man before
him.
Oliver suddenly
pulled a knife and put the tip to Adam's
chin. " Is
that so. How'd you get that black eye boy?" he
whispered
savagely.
Adam felt his
blood run cold with fear. Little more than a
year before he had
nearly died in a knifing accident. He was
stricken with a
sudden flashback and started trembling.
" What seems
to be the trouble here Adam?"
Adam froze, had he
imagined it? Oliver withdrew the knife
and turned to the
voice
" Who the
hell are you?" he sneered
" The name's
Cartwright, most folks call me Hoss, but you
can call me
boss" Hoss said snatching the knife before he had
time to react. He
handed it off to Mick and stole a quick glance
at Adam.
" Now you
gonna do things our way or am I going to help you
on your
horse?" Hoss said evenly
" I'd like to
see you try" Oliver hissed and swung at him.
Hoss had
anticipated it and easily avoided him. He quickly
delivered a punch
to his face and stomach. The man staggered and
charged.
Adam sat on a pile
of fallen trees, his legs no longer able
to hold him. He
was trying to keep an eye on his brother but his
stomach flip
flopped and he moved away to be sick. When he got
back Oliver was on
the ground and not moving. Hoss threw water
on him, he came to
slowly and struggled to his feet. When he was
halfway up Hoss
grabbed him and pulled him the rest of the way
up. He pulled
Oliver's collar tight around his neck and through
gritted teeth
said, " If you ever touch one of my brother's
again, I'll tear
you limb from limb" Then turning to Mick he said
" Mick work
out what we owe him he's leaving. If any of you
fellers have any
question as to who the bull of the woods is here
I'll be happy to
clear that up. If not I suggest you get back to
work right
now" The men looked at each other and then silently
dispersed in different
directions.
Hoss went to
Adam's side, his face etched with concern
" You alright
Adam?" he asked
Adam felt far from
calm, but didn't want to worry Hoss
" Yeah I'm
fine, just a little shook up"
" I'll say,
you should see your face, white as a ghost."
Adam looked at his
brother "You don't look much better "
The result of the
fight now becoming evident on his face. Hoss
rubbed his jaw
" Yeah I reckon I don't, but I'll tell ya Adam,
beating a
loudmouth like him is worth every ounce of pain"
" That
reminds me what're you doing here?" Adam said
" Oh when I
heard Mick telling you what the problem was I
kind've figured it
was a guy like him. There's usually one in
every camp trying
to throw his weight around. I just thought a
little wiry guy
like you could use some help"
Adam eyed him and
a smile played on his face, " You followed
me?"
" Yeah I
reckon I did, here take this your chin's bleeding a
little" Hoss
said taking a kerchief from his pocket
Adam dabbed at his
chin wishing he knew how to quell the
trembling that
seemed to affect his whole body.
The woods suddenly
filled with the sound of a galloping
horse, they looked
up to see one of the ranch hands approaching.
His horse was in a
lather as he pulled up in front of them.
" Mr. Cartwright,
there's been an accident, Little Joe's
hurt"
" What
happened?" Hoss exclaimed his mouth gone dry
" That danged
bull done tried to run off and your brother was
trying to persuade
him back on the trail, but I reckon that ole'
bull had other
ideas"
" How bad is
it?" Adam asked trying to swallow the lump in
his throat.
" It ain't
nothing serious, just got his hand tangled in the
rope is all. But
he's gonna need ole Doc to stitch him up a bit.
That boy wanted to
high tail after that critter but we sent him
back to the house
and we got men trying to trail the beast back."
" You go on
Adam, I'll straighten things out here" Hoss said
putting a hand on
his shoulder.
Adam nodded and
turned to the ranch hand " Charlie you an the
men do what you
can to get that bull back here, we can't have him
running all over
the territory. But don't risk anyone else
getting hurt. If
he gets dangerous you do what you have to to
stop him"
Charlie nodded and
strode back to his horse, he didn't have
to ask what that
meant.
Adam quickly
mounted his horse and throwing Hoss a worried
glance turned and
galloped off. When he got back to the house he
rushed in without
tying his horse. He found Joe in the kitchen
with Hop Sing, who
was unsuccessfully trying to doctor the
injured hand. He
looked relieved to see Adam, " Mr. Adam, Little
Joe say fix hand,
Hop Sing no can do, you tell him he need to go
town see
doctor"
Adam moved
alongside his brother and examined his hand,
wincing at the
sight of it as he turned it over. " What
happened?"
Adam asked him.
" Oh that
stupid bull was trailing along nice and quiet,
when all of a
sudden he decides to go running off in the opposite
direction. I
didn't want him running loose so I threw a loop on
him, I was just
about to dally up on him and he starts fighting
the rope. I had no
choice I had to let him go, I'm sorry Adam"
" That's okay
don't worry about it. Come on let's get you to
town and have the
doc take a look at that hand" Adam said taking
his arm.
" Adam we
ain't got time for that we gotta go after that
bull" Joe
protested.
" Now hold on
Joe, I got men out now rounding him up, don't
worry about it.
You gotta have that hand taken care of, so let's
go"
Joe knew it was
useless to argue so he followed his brother
or of the kitchen.
Sometime later
Adam sat in Doctor Martin's office watching
him examine Joe's
hand. " Well you certainly did a job of it Joe,
you're gonna need
at least six stitches"
Joe grimaced and
looked at his brother, he'd been hoping to
avoid it.
" I'll get my
instruments " the doctor said and left the
room.
Adam went to stand
next to Joe, " You gonna be okay? You
want me to
stay?" Adam asked him empathetically
" Of course
not I'm okay. I've had stitches before"
" Yeah me too,
it's not the most pleasant experience in the
world" he
reminded him.
" I'll be
okay, you go on" Joe insisted
Adam watched him
clenching his jaw and knew he was just
trying to make
light of the situation. " Okay tell you what,
I'll run a few
errands while I'm here and then I'll come back
here to pick you
up"
" Okay that's
fine with me" Joe said simply
It'll be over
before you know it" Adam said squeezing his
shoulder "
I'll be back in a little while"
He left the room
feeling a little guilty, he would've gladly
traded places with
him just to spare him the whole ordeal.
Once outside he
looked up and down the street trying to
decide where to
go. He really didn't have anything to do so he
crossed the street
and decided to go to the mercantile to kill
some time and get
his mind off of other things.
He wandered around
the store for some time until the store
owner said "
Anything I can help you with Adam?"
Adam smiled and
shaking his head answered " No not really Mr.
Cass, I'm sort've
waiting for my kid brother, he's over to the
Doc's"
" Oh, he
ain't sick is he?" Mr. Cass asked
" No he hurt
his hand, got it caught in a rope, the doc is
stitching it up
now" Adam explained not really wanting to talk
about it. He could
almost feel the prick of the needle going in
and out and again
chided himself for not staying with his
brother. He
remembered the time he'd had to have a gash in his
head sewn up. Ben
had stayed with him even though he had
insisted it wasn't
necessary.
" Why don't
you buy him a nickel's worth of peppermint
sticks, he loves
them. It might cheer him up" the storekeeper
suggested.
" That sounds
like a sales pitch to me Mr. Cass" Adam said
good naturedly
" Oh Adam it
is not , here take 'em, on the house " the man
said holding them
out to him. Adam took it and flipped him a
nickel anyway.
Smiling Mr. Cass took it
" How's your
Pa Adam, he back yet?" he asked
Adam's face
clouded and the smile faded away
" No not yet,
we're expecting him back by the end of the week
though"
" Boy I sure
have missed seeing him, you boys gonna have a
welcome home party
for him? He has been gone quite a spell"
Adam frowned and
stuffed the candy in his vest pocket
" I don't
know Mr. Cass we hadn't really talked about it.
Listen I better be
getting back. I'll give Joe the peppermint
and tell him you
send your regards"
" You do that
Adam, and be sure and let us know if you're
gonia celebrate
your Pa's homecoming okay?" Cass said to Adam's
departing back.
" Sure Mr.
Cass, we'll do that, bye now" Adam called and
escaped out the
door. He stood outside for a moment to take a
breath and then
headed back to the doctor's office.
The doctor looked
up as he entered
" How is
he?" Adam asked pushing the door closed
" Well he's
gonna have a sore hand for awhile, fortunately
it's his right
hand so he won't be at much of a disadvantage.
He's got to change
the dressing regularly and keep it clean and
dry. Watch for
infection, if it looks red around the wound, any
swelling, discharge,
or anything like that, get him back here.
He may run a low
grade fever tonight so keep an eye on that and
send for me if it
gets too high"
Adam nodded,
anxious to get to Joe. The doctor stood up and
held some medicine
out to him
" What's
this?" he asked reaching out to take it from him
" For pain,
wait until you get him home though. This stuff
makes you sleep
like a baby"
Adam put the
medicine in his pocket, " Can I take him home
now?"
" He's all
yours Adam. He's putting his shirt back on, he
should be out in a
minute"
They shook hands
and Adam went to find his brother. He was
sitting where Adam
had left him earlier, fumbling with the
buttons on his
shirt sleeve.
" Need some
help?" Adam asked him
" Just with
these stupid cuffs, I was going to roll them up
but I can't do
that either"
Adam took a hold
of his left hand, braced it against his
chest and started
rolling up the sleeve. He studied Joe's face
as he did, he
looked almost gray. Adam looked away and
concentrated on
the other arm. " Hurt much?" he asked
" Like the
devil, I'm not gonna be much help for awhile"
" Yeah, how
will we know the difference?" Adam said teasing
Joe gave him his
'very funny' look and pulled his arm away.
" You ready
to get out'a here?" Adam said and winked
" You know
it, let's go" Joe said and hopped down. Adam fell
in behind him as
they walked to the buckboard. Once they were
seated Adam picked
up the reins, he suddenly remembered his visit
to the store and
looked at Joe " Hey, you hungry?"
Joe's face lit up
" Starving, what have you got in mind?"
At that Adam
pulled out a candy stick and handed it to him.
While Joe stared
at him with his mouth open, he pulled out
another one and
put it between his lips and smiled at his stunned
brother.
" You're
crazy" Joe stated, the corners of his mouth turning
up ever so
slightly.
" Where do
you think you inherited it from little brother"
Adam declared, and
slapped the reins sending the horses toward
home.
******************************
CHAPTER 9
Doctor Martin had
not exaggerated the effect of the pain
killer. Joe was
sound asleep within an hour of taking the
medicine.
It was nearly ten
o'clock and Adam had just come down the
stairs from
checking on him. He tried to relax but he found
himself pacing,
everything seemed to be falling apart just as
they received news
of their father's return. He'd worn a path in
the front of the
fireplace when he heard the sound of hoofbeats.
By the time he got
to the door and opened it, Hoss was already on
his way in.
" How's
Little Joe?" he asked before he got inside
Adam closed the
door behind him, " He's okay, he's sleeping
now, actually
unconscious would be more accurate"
" Do I smell
peppermint?" Hoss asked sniffing the air
Adam ignored the
question and sat down on the sofa and waited
for Hoss to join
him.
" So what
happened up there?" he asked while Hoss took off
his hat and
gunbelt.
" Well
Oliver's long gone but a lot of the men went with him.
We're way behind
schedule now and we gotta do some mighty fancy
scrambling to get
some more men to replace them."
Hoss sat down and
grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl in
front of him. He
took a hearty bite and said, " You reckon we
can get some extra
teams somewhere? It would sure help some."
Adam didn't answer
but sat staring at the fire before him.
" By the way
we got the bull back " Hoss said trying to
attract his
attention. Adam looked at him " You did? Where is
he?"
" Right here
in the main corral all nice and cozy"
" Good, how'd
you get him?"
" Well it
ain't all good Adam. He managed to have himself a
little fun and did
some damage before we caught up with him. But
you should'a seen
it. I roped me one of the shecows he had his
eye on and led her
back here and he followed along behind just as
pretty as you
please"
" Good
thinking" Adam said " At least I hope it was one of
our cows"
"Well it is
now" Hoss said " I had to buy her from a hopping
mad Mr.
Bishop"
Adam suddenly
stood up and threw his hands in the air
shouting, " This
is just great, I can't believe this.
Everything's
falling apart just in time for Pa's grand return" He
stopped in front
of the fireplace and rested his foot on the
stone. " You
know I always thought I'd be able to handle it, at
least now I know I
was wrong"
" You weren't
wrong Adam, we were all wrong" Hoss said
quietly
" What's that
supposed to mean?" Adam said sitting down to
face him. Hoss
studied his brother's face a moment before
answering. He was
trying to organize what he'd been thinking
about most of the
day. " Pa said we needed to work together,
that's the one
thing we didn't do"
" We
didn't?" Adam said wondering what he meant.
" No we
didn't Adam. You made the plans and organized
everything and me
and Joe followed orders. Don't you see, it was
too much for
anyone all at once. We should'a been sharing all
the responsibility
not leaving it all up to you. Even Pa doesn't
do that, you
didn't need to handle it all on your own Adam"
Adam reached to
pick a piece of firewood off the floor and
tossed it into the
fire, he thought about what his brother was
saying. Maybe Hoss
was right he had been trying to do it on his
own. He didn't let
them assume any of the responsibility but
merely directed
them on what to do or what needed to be done.
" Starting
tomorrow we gotta change the way we're doing
things around
here. That means when you wake up tomorrow the
Lawson contract
will be my responsibility. I'll make sure you're
kept up to date on
the numbers but that's all you need to know,
I'll handle
everything else" Hoss said hoping he wasn't offending
Adam, he sincerely
did not want to insult him or the job he'd
been doing. But he
had been worried about him for some time now
and wanted to take
some of the pressure off.
" You'll have
to take care of all the stock with Joe's help,
I'm sure you can
find something for him to do. First thing in
the morning you
better get on over to Mr. Bishop's place, he's
pretty upset about
the bull, but I'm sure he'll simmer down by
then"
Adam was watching
his brother, amused by his new take charge
attitude. Hoss was
far from finished, " Just cause you're the
oldest don't mean
you gotta carry the whole load by yourself. Me
and Joe were so
used to you handling things we just didn't think
about what was
happening. Not anymore, from now on we tackle
everything
together, any objections?"
" Are you
kidding me?" Adam exclaimed
" Good you
wait and see Adam, we'll have this place running
smooth as cream by
the time Pa gets back"
Adam wanted to tell
him that that wasn't the reason he wanted
to straighten
things out but he decided to let it go.
" Thanks
Hoss, I appreciate that"
" Well, I'm
gonna head up to camp first thing in the morning
so I'll check on
Joe and get on to bed" Hoss announced " You best
try and get some
sleep tonight too Adam"
" Okay mother
I will, goodnight" Adam said, Hoss smiled at
him and waved
goodnight as he went up the stairs
About an hour
later Adam followed stopping to check on Joe
too. He lit the
lantern and adjusted it to give off as little
light as possible.
Joe looked like he was resting comfortable
but Adam felt his
forehead to be sure. Confident that he was
okay Adam blew the
lantern out and headed for the door. When he
was almost there
he heard Joe call his name.
" Did I wake
you up?" he asked Joe when he got back to the
bed.
" No I was
awake, actually Hoss woke me up a while ago"
" How do you
feel, how's the hand?"
" It only
hurts when I breath" Joe kidded him
Adam didn't bother
with the lantern again, he waited for his
eyes to adjust to
the dark. He could see the silhouette of his
brother sitting up
now. He looked to where the chair usually was
and finding it
with his hand he sat down.
" You think
if I show you how, you can do some book keeping?"
Adam asked him.
" I won't
like it but I guess I can do it" Joe said wearily "
Hoss already told
me about the new plan"
" Yeah he
kind've took over on me before I knew what
happened"
Adam said with a short laugh
" Don't think
about it that way Adam, we just want to help"
Adam yawned and
ran his fingers through his hair, he was more
tired than he
could remember, it had been a long day
" I
know" he said " Listen I better let you go back to sleep"
" Adam there
was something I wanted to ask you" Joe said
seeing he was
preparing to leave.
" Yeah what's
that? " Adam said now standing and stretching
his arms
" Are you
happy that Pa's coming home?"
Adam suddenly
stopped moving, dropping his arms to his side
he sank back in
the chair. Joe had expected his reaction and was
saddened by it.
Adam leaned back
in the chair and closed his eyes " Look Joe
part of me is real
happy he's coming home, I'm sure I miss him
just as much as
you and Hoss. But another part of me is very
angry with him
too. Not just because of how I feel I was hurt but
you and Hoss too.
I don't know how I'll feel when I see him,
maybe I'll forget
all the things that went wrong"
" But Adam
everything is straightened out and he won't find
anything wrong
when he gets here" Joe said brightly
Adam picked his
head up from the chair, " Joe do me a favor in
the morning, take
a good look at the three of us. One look at
your hand and mine
and Hoss' face will tell him everything he
needs to
know"
Joe had nothing to
say to that but he did want desperately for
Adam to feel as he
and Hoss did about the homecoming. He was
almost afraid to
push the issue any further but he also didn't
want to do
anything without Adam's consent.
" Adam, Pa
said he should be home sometime Saturday night
and Hoss and I
were thinking about maybe having a party for him
on Sunday
afternoon. We want to invite some of our friends, and
Hop Sing already
said he could do all the cooking and stuff. And
Hoss and I know
how to make Pa's famous punch."
" And you
expect me to drink it?" Adam said, he could hear
the excitement in
Joe's voice and really didn't want to damper
his spirit.
Joe smiled, maybe
he was getting somewhere after all " Well
you have to be
there to drink it, you will be there won't you?
It's real
important" he said and held his breath
" Why's it so
important that I be there?" Adam asked
Joe blew his
breath out in frustration " Because dummy, it's
a family
celebration and you happen to be one of us"
" Who you
calling dummy, shorty?" Adam demanded, Joe could
tell by his voice
he wasn't really mad.
" Come on
Adam just say you'll be there with us"
" Boy oh boy
you are a persistent little thing aren't you?
Adam teased him,
he was touched by the fact that they wanted him
there so badly
though " Alright I'll be there as long as I don't
have to drink the
punch"
" It's a
deal" Joe said pleased with his accomplishment
Adam stood up to
leave, secretly hoping he'd be able to keep
that promise when
the time came
" Well you
got what you wanted from me, you think you can go
to sleep
now?"
Joe smiled happily
as he wiggled back down to his pillows.
" Sure I can
especially since I just won ten bucks. Hoss bet
me I'd never talk
you into it. Goodnight Adam"
" Goodnight
" Adam said quietly as he left the room shaking
his head.
****************************
Chapter 10
Joe sat atop the
corral fence with a registry book resting on his
legs. His brother
Adam moved among the horses calling our descriptions
for him to enter
in the book.
" Chestnut
colt, out of Daisy May, two white stockings on the back,
one white sock
left foreleg, and a star on the forehead" Adam called as he
examined the
foal's markings
" Hey Adam
see what Belle's got over there if that's a filly I may
claim it for my
own" Joe shouted to him, he noticed the foal earlier when
they brought them
in.
Adam moved through
the herd looking for the particular mare Joe had
mentioned. Finding
her he drove her to middle of the pen to get a better
look at the baby.
He realized why Joe had his eye on it as soon as he saw
it. The foal was
jet black without a single white marking anywhere. Adam
ran his hands over
the foal while he examined it, and then hollered back to
Joe.
" Looks like
you got yourself a horse Joe, it's a filly. You want me
to break the news
to Cochise?"
Joe smiled as he
wrote in the book, " Don't worry about Cochise, she
understands"
he said then looked up at the sound to his left, " Hey Adam,
here comes
Hoss"
Adam strode to the
fence and climbed up alongside his brother. Hoss
galloped up to the
fence and pulled up in front of them.
" Well you
fellers sure enough got your work cut our for you" he
commented as his
horse tossed his head and snorted with exhilaration.
" Yeah we do,
what are doing goofing off?" Joe asked him
" Actually no
little brother, I just thought you'd like to know things
are back on
schedule up at camp and it looks like we'll finish up in great
shape. Thanks to
my great organizing skills I might add" Hoss boasted
sticking out his
chest.
Adam and Joe
smiled at each other and back at Hoss
" That's
great news Hoss, maybe now we can get you a real job" Adam said
" Very funny,
I think you two are just jealous of my managerial
talents" Hoss
challenged
" Yeah that's
it" Adam said sarcastically " Who's that?" he said
climbing higher on
the fence to get a better look at the approaching
dustcloud.
Hoss and Joe
turned in the direction Adam was looking, the three of
them trying to get
a better look at the rider. Joe suddenly leaped from
the fence
shouting, " It's Pa!"
Hoss watched not
daring to believe it was true until he saw the
familiar buckskin
getting closer. He climbed off his own horse to stand
beside Joe, and
held his breath as the horse got closer and closer. Both
of them were
fighting the urge to start running, the anticipation was agony.
Ben spotted them
and thought his chest would burst, he had a feeling
at that moment
that he could outrun his horse. When he was less than a
hundred feet away
he pulled his horse up and jumped off. Hiss and Joe were
running now and in
moments they were in his arms. The joy was almost too
much for all of
them
and Joe didn't
even seem to mind the accidental bumps to his injured hand.
Ben held them each
at arm's length and looked them over. He took notice of
Hiss' face first,
" Well son who did you tangle with?"
" Oh Pa it
ain't nothing, I'm just glad you're finally home"
Ben smiled his
appreciation, then turned to his youngest son, " And
whetted you do to your
hand Joseph, or does that have something to do with
Hiss' face?"
" I just got
it tangled in a rope Pa, it's fine don't worry"
Ben smiled broadly
" I can't tell you how good you boys look to me" he
said and hugged
them again.
Over their
shoulders he saw Adam slowly walking toward them. He felt
his heart swell at
the sight of him, and a small stab of anxiety. Hiss and
Joe moved to
either side of their father and looked at each other with
concern.
Ben moved forward
unsure of what to do, then considering Adam's way,
he stopped and
waited. Adam stood still just before him and regarded his
father with a look
Ben could not read. He saw the black eye and wondered
how he could still
have it after all this time, not realizing it had been
the other eye when
he left. When he looked into Adam's eyes he saw a look
he'd seen many
times before. But it was a look he thought he would never
see directed at
him. When Adam spoke it was a voice he didn't recognize,
cold and empty
" You know
someone once told me you can't throw someone in the water
and not wait
around to see if they can swim. I took that as gospel because
I loved and
respected the man who said it to me. I've found that things
can change"
He turned and walked away leaving his father with a pain he'd
never known
before.
CHAPTER 11
The Ponderosa
ranch house was alive with people, music, and
laughter. The
celebration atmosphere filled the house and
affected everyone
present. Neighbors were gathered around Ben to
hear stories of
his travels and they filled him in on what he'd
missed while he
was away.
Although Ben was
enjoying himself he could not help perking
up each time the
door opened. He was looking for the one who was
missing, the one
who could fill the void in his heart. Ben had
expected Adam to
be angry with, but hadn't realized to what
extent. Joe too
was watching for him, hoping he would come.
When the band took
a break, Hoss joined Joe by the stairs
" Any sign of
him?" Joe asked scanning the crowd.
" Nope, but
he'll be here you can bet on that, Adam ain't one
to overlook a
promise"
As if on cue the
door opened and Adam entered. Ben stopped
mid sentence and
quickly excused himself. He met Adam inside the
door as he took
off his hat and looked around.
" Adam, I'm
glad you decided to come, I was hoping you would"
Adam didn't look
at his father when he answered, " I came
because Joe asked
me to, no other reason"
Ben sighed, he
wasn't going to make things easy for him
" Well
nonetheless I'm glad you're here" he said, then tried
to think of
something to say to let him know he understood his
anger, but he
couldn't think of anything. An uncomfortable
silence grew
between them as Adam shifted his weight from one
foot to the other.
" Well come on
in and join us, get yourself something to eat"
Ben said putting a
hand on his shoulder. Adam shrugged him off
and moved toward
the punch bowl.
Ben watched him go
and turned in the opposite direction. It
was useless to try
to talk to him now. Perhaps after the guests
left later on he'd
have a better chance of reaching him.
Adam found his
brothers by the many platters of food Hop Sing
had painstakingly
prepared. They both smiled at him as he
approached and it
made him feel a little better.
" Thanks for
coming Adam" Joe said his eyes showed his
gratitude.
Adam winked at
him, " I told you I would, didn't I?"
" It means a
lot to Pa, he's been watching for you" Hoss said
between bites.
Adam frowned and
poured himself a drink, quickly drank it
down and said,
" Well I'm gonna see if I can persuade one of
these young ladies
to honor me with a dance" and he walked into
the crowd. Hoss
and Joe exchanged a glance, he was here that was
a start.
It was close to
midnight when the last of the guests rode
away. Hoss and Joe
insisted on helping Hop Sing clean up and
wouldn't let their
father do any of the work since it was his
party.
Ben was disturbed
to find Adam was missing, he was nowhere in
the house so Ben
assumed he'd gone back to town. He decided he
needed some air
and went out on to the porch and lit his pipe.
While standing
there something off to his left caught his
attention. It was
Adam sitting on the table with his feet
resting on the
bench. Ben allowed himself a small smile and a
sigh of relief. He
moved toward him and stood by the table.
Adam acknowledged
him with a quick look and then turned away.
" Mind if I
join you?" Ben asked. Adam gave a relenting shrug
and moved over.
The same tense silence from earlier in the
evening threatened
to overtake them again.
" Look Adam,
you have every right to be angry with me but I'd
at least like a
chance to apologize. I really don't have a
legitimate reason
for not sending word about my welfare or
whereabouts. All I
can say is the day I left here I was feeling
very depleted and
overwhelmed. I was uncertain about where I was
going or why.
Maybe I was just overtired I don't know" Ben
looked at Adam but
he showed no sign of leaning one way or the
other, so Ben went
on " Once I got away the time just slipped by
before I knew it.
I should've let you know what was happening
and I meant to, I
really did. I didn't and I'm truly sorry, I
understand how you
must feel, it's okay to be angry with me or
even hate me if
you want to"
Adam regarded him
with an angry stare " Do you have any idea
what it was like
for me ?"
Ben raised an
eyebrow and looked at him sideways with a half
grin. Realizing
what he'd said, Adam grinned and looked away
before his father
saw it.
" Well I
guess you do, but you still should've sent word, Hoss
and Joe were
worried sick"
" Yes I know
son, you're right. How can I make it up to you?"
Ben asked, he
didn't have to ask him if he'd been worried. He
already knew it
was probably the main motivation for his anger.
Adam was looking
at him searchingly, not sure if he was ready
to forgive him.
But after reflecting a bit on the last few weeks
events he decided
it would be for the best
" Well
actually I didn't do a very good job of things anyway so
you might want to
save that thought" Adam said suddenly seeming
interested in the
condition of his boots as he wiped them off
with
concentration.
" What do you
mean by that, I haven't seen a thing not being as
it should be. You
did everything as I would have done, maybe
better."
Adam looked up at
him, he almost hated to fill him in but he
might as well know
the truth, "Looks can be deceiving, seen the
stock dial
lately?" he said flatly
" Yes I did,
the first afternoon I was home, their paying two
sixty five a
share, why?" Ben asked wondering what he was getting
at.
" You
sure?" Adam asked, eyeing him suspiciously.
" Of course
I'm sure, why?"
Adam shook his
head and looked at his feet again, he hadn't
had a chance to
check himself, had actually been afraid to look
after the last
time.
" Well I have
no complaints, so I'd still like to know how I
can make it up to
you" Ben said, wondering why he wouldn't take
credit for what
he'd done. He stretched his feet out in front of
him and leaned
back a bit.
Adam yawned
feeling suddenly drained, after he said, " All I
ask is next time
you decide you need to go and take a break,you
at least let us
know before you leave"
Ben smiled and
held out his hand, " It's a deal, you have my
word, it'll never
happen again"
Adam looked at his
smiling face and hesitated a moment before
taking his hand.
Ben felt the tension leave him and his heart
was much lighter.
They sat in
silence for a while,both of them tired, but not
wanting to end
this moment of kinship.
Ben put his arm
around his son knowing it was okay now and
said quietly,
" Just so you know, I'm very proud of the job you
did"
Adam met his
glance and smiled, realizing at that moment how
much he had missed
him. " Well just so you know, I really am glad
you're home"
and with that Ben embraced him, now he was truly
home.
The following
morning Ben sat at his desk going over the
books. Hoss and
Adam had left earlier, Joe was still fast
asleep. He went
over all the paperwork with a fine tooth comb.
Everything was up
to date and in perfect order. In his rides
around the ranch
he found everything in the same condition.
Everything just as
it should be, as if he'd never been gone.
Ben sat back, the
impact of that idea hitting him hard. They
had done just what
he'd hoped, he knew now they could handle it.
They could manage
things just fine without him, they didn't need
him anymore. The
acceptance of that brought a wave of sadness
that washed over
him and left him feeling as empty and lost as he
had the day he
left.
He looked up at
the sound of Little Joe descending the
stairs. He'd
obviously just woken up, his hair was disheveled
and his shirt hung
open. He carried his boots in his good hand
and plopped into the
chair by the staircase. He sat back and
pulled his boots
on with some difficulty.
" Morning
Pa" he said, his voice hoarse from sleep " Hoss and
Adam gone?"
" Yeah about
an hour ago, they gave up on you" Ben said
smiling. He
watched Joe attempt to comb his hair with his
fingers and
scratch his head.
" Well I'll
be out there in a minute" he said. He stood and
joined his father,
sitting on the edge of the desk. He was
fumbling with his
shirt, growing frustrated with the cumbersome
bandaged hand. Exasperated
he turned to his father,
" Can you
give me hand here Pa, I can't roll the sleeves up?"
Ben got up and
stood before him and rolled each of the
sleeves up for
him. He was smiling to himself as he appreciated
the fact that he'd
been wrong. The ranch may very well run
without him, but
each of his sons, at different times in their
lives, would
always need him. He finished rolling the sleeves
and unexpectedly
hugged his youngest son.
" What was
that for?" Joe asked
" Because I
needed that, now off to work with you young man"
Ben said trying to
sound stern, although inside his heart was
singing.
***************************
The End