Maybe, someday
By: Miss Maggie
The trail was narrow and deeply rutted. Ben Cartwright guided the team of horses through the maze of wheel tracks. He, and the girl who sat beside him on the buckboard bench, could hear the axles creak and groan as the horses drew the heavy load. The horse on the right shifted in his step, despite Ben’s tight reining. As the team worked against each other, the wagon began to shift. The front wheel struck a jagged rock along side the trail. The wheel began to wobble; the pressure caused the shaft to snap. The loud crack startled the horses and they picked up the pace, as one of the horses began to rear. The main harness broke free when the horses lurched, and the two passengers had little time to prepare themselves for the next hurdle.
The wagon tilted sharply to the left. Ace leapt from the wagon as it began to lean, precariously. Ben felt some relief when he saw Ace leap free of the buckboard, and he readied himself to do the same. He hit the ground and tried to roll away from the vehicle as it careened towards him. The wagon came to rest on its side, atop Ben Cartwright. The weight of wagon was crushing, as timbers that had filled the open back shifted. Over half of his body lay tangled beneath the side of the wagon and cargo, making it impossible for him to move. The rear wheel spun slowly to his right, still attached to the rear axle. It seemed to click off the minutes as he took note of his situation. The injured man hoarsely called out Ace’s name. He received no response.
Ben Cartwright felt the weight of the wagon crushing his ribs with each breath he took. Colors swirled in front of his eyes as he attempted to free himself from this trap. He felt a trickle flow from his forehead down past his neck and wondered if it was sweat or blood. The pain that that raced through him was almost too much to bear, as he tried to move. His efforts proved futile.
He fought to remain conscious. The burden that threatened to crush him blocked his view. The child, who had accompanied him on this ride, was not in sight. Nowhere was the sight of the tomboy, clad in dark slacks and the denim jacket. He fought to recall the moments before the wagon overturned. His memory was failing him. He saw his own hands gripping the reins tightly, as the harness broke. His mind registered the loud crack when the wheel surrendered to the rock. There was no time to warn the child of impending disaster. He wondered if she was still alive, or if had he been the cause of her death.
As he lay there, he thought about the child who had entered their lives. “She’s just like her father,” he thought. “A child by age only, having struggled to survive.” Yet, unlike his eldest son, this child was unwilling or perhaps afraid to accept love. Her experiences led her to distrust, which kept her from getting close to others. “If only,” he began to ponder but his injuries forced him to lose consciousness.
The afternoon had reached its peak, when Ace regained consciousness. She eyed the damaged wagon, and slowly rose to her feet, aware of the bruises, that made any movement a bit more difficult. She scanned the upper roadway for any sign of the horses that had once pulled the wagon. The only thing she saw was the rutted roadbed. Ace made her way around the wagon, and soon discovered Ben Cartwright, unconscious and trapped beneath the vehicle. His careworn face was pale and lined with pain. His eyes were shut, his lips in a frozen grimace. The color of the dirt and blood mixed together made his face look more ashen. She checked to be sure he was alive, and noticed that his breathing was labored. His skin felt cool to the touch. In desperation, she tried to push the load off his battered frame, but her attempts met with failure. Ace grew frustrated and her mind raced with thoughts of what to do. The man was unconscious and she feared he might die. Ace pondered leaving him, and to start a new life, on the run. “Things would be so much simpler, then,” she thought. “I won’t be responsible to anyone, except myself.”
In her mind’s eye, she envisioned her mother’s eventual return to the Ponderosa to retrieve her, and she did not care for the idea of leaving with the woman she had grown to despise. Ace eyed the open road as an opportunity to escape. The youngster debated, her eyes became narrowed as she studied the path ahead. Ace took two steps forward and then stopped. She glanced back over her shoulder at the figure trapped beneath the wagon. Something tugged at her mind and she recalled the kindness the Cartwrights had shown her. “Please understand,” she whispered. “I’m not like you folks.” Her voice quavered. “Forgive me for leaving you like this.”
The day Will left
her with the Cartwrights, he had told her he would return. Like so many times before, Ace waited, am
once again, felt abandoned. Nearly a
month had passed and he had not returned.
The Cartwrights had taken the liberty of wiring her mother, Will
Cartwright’s estranged wife. They were
unaware of Ace’s true relationship to them, until Laura appeared on the Ponderosa.
She entered the house like a whirlwind,
demanding her daughter. When Ace first
appeared, she was less than cordial towards her mother. Under no circumstances
was the older man going to allow such behavior in his home. Ace bolted from the house, only to have the
angry patriarch follow her, leaving Laura and Adam alone. Laura broke down into tears, as she explained
the truth of Ace’s parentage to Adam.
“She is my daughter, but not Will’s child. She’s your daughter.” Meanwhile, Ben berated the girl for her rude
behavior, and forced the reluctant girl to go back to the house, unaware of the
conversation, which preceded their return.
The loud exchange ended abruptly as they entered through the front door;
a sign that they had intruded on a private conversation. Ben and Ace eyed the pair with
uncertainty. Laura appeared upset and
Adam’s expression was a mix of confusion and anger. “Two weeks,” Adam said to the teary-eyed
woman. His tone emphasized his
resolve.
Laura started to open her mouth, prepared to argue, but it was clear to all that there was no changing his mind. “Fine,” she said grabbing the side of her skirt and hastened to the door. “I will be back in two weeks.”
Ace grumbled her reasons as she looked to the north. “ I’m not the kind of person who cannot go where I’m not wanted.”
Ace began the climb up to the roadway. The embankment was steep, and she began to slip before reaching the top of the bank. She struggled forward and rested when she reached the top. Her whole body ached from the exertion. Ben Cartwright’s words came back to haunt her, eating away at her resolve. “Someday, you will find yourself having to face your past. The sooner you choose to accept it, the easier your life will be.” Ace hesitated and spoke to herself. “I don’t need my past. There’s nothing I care to remember about it.” She pushed her bangs away from her eyes, and rose to her feet. Placing her hands on her hips, she said, “Once my sister died, there was no one who cared about me; no one I could trust. I got use to being alone. Besides, my Ma said she never wanted me, I only served as a reminder of her mistakes.”
An image of the Cartwrights, as they had accepted Ace into their home as a member of their family, flooded her mind’s eye. Once they learned the truth about her identity, Adam tried to find the best way to tell her, and tried to gain her acceptance. Never had they turn her away or shown her anything but compassion. Yet, this was something the child had difficulty in accepting. Her experiences had taught her that trust led to heartache, and she wanted no part of it.
Ace moved along, slowly. The sky was darkening. She shivered as the sun began to set. “I’m sure some one will come looking for you,” she said. “Your sons are probably on their way, now.” Ace tried to convince herself there was nothing she could do to help the injured man she left behind. “I mean,” she argued with herself, “I’m just a kid. I don’t see why I should even try. It’s not like I fit in, anywhere.”
She took a few more steps, then turned around and looked at the scene below, still unchanged. “I know I’m going to regret this,” she said, and then sauntered back to the accident site. Ace eyed the sight and realized that she needed to unload some of the timbers and she said aloud, “I got to find a way to get him out from under this wagon.” Ace squared her shoulders and started the arduous task. She removed her threadbare jacket, balled it up and cast it aside.
Refusal to surrender kept her going as the sunlight continued to fade. Ace managed to remove a good share of the timbers and used some of the shattered pieces as bracing. Using the last of her strength, she managed to guide a post under the center of the wagon, and lift it slightly. As she lay across the beam, Ace managed to brace the makeshift lever and keep it high enough to allow the trapped man some freedom.
Ben slowly regained consciousness as she struggled to drag him away from the wagon. His right leg caused him great pain, as did his chest and his head. His eyes followed her as she worked; yet, his vision was blurry. She spoke little, her face set with determination.
She finally succeeded to drag him a short distance. With his feet a foot from the wagon, Ace guided him back, gently. She wiped the droplets of sweat onto the back of her shirtsleeve, before speaking to him. “Can you tell if you are hurt bad?”
He swallowed and grimaced, as his throat was dry. “I don’t think I am ready to walk out of here,” he said trying to sound a bit cheerful to ease the worried look on her face.
“It is going to be nightfall soon. Can you go for help,” he asked her.
“The
horses are no where to be found. I could
start walking, but I don’t think I should leave you alone.” She retrieved her jacket to refashion it
as a pillow to reduce the hardness of the rock that he leaned on, as he fought
against the pain of his injuries. Ace
managed to get a fire going, and Ben Cartwright closed his eyes, while Ace
collected more wood. He found himself
walking through a fog and moved towards a voice that spoke to him. It was
the voice of a woman, he knew so long ago.
His eyes studied her face as she came into view and a sad smile
appeared. “I’ve done all I can,” he told
the dark haired apparition. “It’s time
for me to let go. The boys are all grown
men. They don’t need me any more,
“Ben,” she replied drawing nearer,
still. “It’s too soon, my love. You are needed now, more than ever
before.” She drew close enough for him
to hear her voice, but remained out of reach.
She looked so young and as beautiful as he remembered, from over thirty
years ago. Her dark brown hair swept
away from her pale face, her eyes shining as she gazed at him.
In his vision, he reached out to the figure
before him. “But,
“Benjamin Cartwright,” she said in a more
stern voice. “You cannot abandon that
child. Your grandchild needs you. Listen to her, Ben. If not for our son, then do it for our
grandchild.”
Her words struck him and he watched her fade from his mind’s eye. “Wait,” he cried out, unwilling to let her leave him again. A voice, that sounded so far away forced him back to reality. He gasped as the pain coursed through his frame.
Ace watched him with apprehension. His skin was an ashen tone, and his breathing was barely discernable. Cautiously, she crawled over to his side and grabbed his jacket, shaking him lightly. He did not respond. Fear threatened to overwhelm her. “Don’t you go and die on me, now,” she said. “If you up and die on me, then I wasted my time. I have never had a Grandfather before. And if you die,” she said in a tear filled voice, “I’ll never get the chance to know you better.”
The truth was, he was prepared to die. He had seen visions of his first wife, Adam’s mother. Yet, she vanished when the innocent voice reached through the haze. The words “Grandfather” and “chance to know you” pushed him away from the peaceful images and back to reality. His eyes fluttered open and he saw Ace’s face inches from his own. The child’s fears and anxiety were evident. It was rare for Ace to show any emotion, other than anger.
His hand trembled, as he reached up and touched her face. His calloused fingers traced the side of her dirty face. “I won’t leave you, little one,” he whispered. He tried to mask his own pain, both emotional and physical.
Ace’s expression changed to reflect her feelings of relief. She turned aside, looking at the fire to her right. The flames danced hauntingly. Her eyes narrowed as she starred at the glowing embers. She did not want him to see that she had been afraid. A log crackled and a spark rose above the smoke and seemed to dance before falling back into the fire.
“Why,” he asked breaking the silence. His desire to sleep was overwhelming, but Ben knew he had to remain alert.
“Huh? Why, what?”
“Why did you stay? You could have run off, and yet you stayed to help me.”
A slow smile came to her face. “I’m not going to lie to you. I started to go.” She lowered her head feeling somewhat ashamed by her honesty. “I guess I changed my mind.” She paused and scratched her forehead.
“May I ask why?”
“I guess I got tired of running, is all,” she tried half-heartedly. She rose to her feet and hooked her thumbs into her front belt loops. “Cowards run away. I don’t want anyone accusing me of being scared.”
Ben chuckled, although the effort caused his ribs to ache. “You truly are something else, Ace.”
She frowned uncertain of what he meant.
He winced against the twinges of pain. “Tell me something,” he urged. “How did you end up with the name Ace?” He hoped that any type of conversation would help him maintain consciousness.
She grinned. “The way the story goes is that Peggy named me that. I guess she was doing some needlework and was putting my initials on something. According to Will, Peggy decided that Ace was a better name than Adie Elizabeth.” Ace wrinkled her nose, signifying her dislike of her birth name. “He agreed with her, much to Mother’s dismay. He used to say that having an Ace handy was good luck. The knick name stayed.”
He fought to keep up the conversation, to avoid losing consciousness. “Knick names do have a way of attaching themselves,” he said. “Take Hoss, for instance.” Ben began to recount the story of Hoss’ name, much to Ace’s amusement.
Eventually, they both heard the sound of approaching horses, and Ace rose to her feet and crossed over to the other side of the fire. She drew Ben’s pistol from the holster and shot off one round into the night. Soon, the search party consisting of Adam and two of the ranch hands joined them. Adam jumped down from his horse and raced to his father’s side. “Are you all right,” he asked as he eyed his father and the bandage that encircled his brow.
Ben nodded. “I’ve been better.”
Adam glanced towards the ruined wagon. “What happened?”
“We hit a rock. When the wheel broke, the horses spooked. Harness snapped. I lost the horses when the shaft let go.”
“Hanson,” Adam shouted. “Go get a wagon, and send someone to fetch Doc Marten.” Not once had he acknowledged Ace’s presence. She remained distant, even when Hoss and Joe appeared.
Once everyone was reassured that Ben would survive the ordeal, and the wagon arrived, Hoss and Adam placed Ben into the back of the wagon. Joe stood in the back of the buckboard and helped guide his father inside. Hoss saw Ace watching from the shadows and he nudged Adam slightly, as he nodded in the waif’s direction.
Adam was primarily concerned over his father’s injuries, and gave little thought to Ace. She didn’t look physically hurt, so he turned his attention back to his father. Ace slowly stepped forward as Hoss nodded to her. She retrieved her jacket and stood by the horses.
“You okay,” the gentle giant asked her.
Ace merely nodded, remaining silent.
“Take Sport back to the ranch,” Adam directed Ace. “I’ll ride back with Pa,” he said to Hoss and Joe. “We’ll meet you there.”
Back at the house, Doc Marten attended to the injuries that had befallen Ben Cartwright. His sons waited impatiently for the Doctor complete his duties. While they waited, Ace attended the horses in the barn. She felt at ease alone, and no one had argued with her when she offered to tend to the animals. She curried the horses after removing the animals’ saddles. The work did not ease her tension. To relieve her anxiety, she brushed the hoses with great vigor, leaving their coats shining.
“Hey, Ace,” Joe’s familiar voice called out as he and Hoss entered the barn. “Pa is asking for you, ” he added as he entered.
“Yeah, Pa wants to make sure you are all set,” Hoss explained. “Guess you took a pretty good fall, yourself.”
“I take it he’s all right, then.”
“Oh, yeah, Pa’s just fine. We’ve got you to thank for that.”
Ace shook her head. “I did what I had to, is all.”
“Well,” Joe said patting her on the back. “According to Pa, he wouldn’t have made it, if it wasn’t for you.” He gave her a grin and a wink, before guiding her out the door. “Doc said you did really good at keeping Pa alive out there.”
“None of us could’ve done any better,” Hoss added.
The door to Ben’s room was ajar, and Joe prodded Ace to enter. Adam sat in a chair drawn close to the bed and rose to his feet when she entered. Ben noticed that Ace appeared uncertain with his sons in the room. He waved them away, saying that he was fine and he wanted to speak with Ace. He finished his statement by saying the word, alone. The men left Ace with their father.
“I guess even though you’re suppose to be taking it easy, you still take charge of things,” she noted with a smirk.
“Sometimes you have to,” he noted. “All of them would sit here until I felt well enough to get around on my own.”
She chuckled, softly.
“You were very brave back there,” he said. “I want to thank you.”
Ace shrugged, slightly flustered.
“May I ask you something?”
“I suppose,” she replied.
“You see,” he began in a serious tone. “I am curious about something, something you said.”
Ace worked her jaw slightly. Her eyes scanned the ceiling.
“You said you almost ran off. What stopped you? Now, tell me the truth.”
She looked down at the floor and traced a small circle with the toe of her boot. “I don’t know. Maybe it was something you said about facing responsibility.” She looked at Ben Cartwright when she said the last word, but it was with a grimace. Ace started to pace about the room, slowly, her arms folded before her. “I guess it was time I stop running away from things. Maybe it’s my way of saying thanks, for all the kindness you folks have shown me.”
“Come here,” he said. As she moved closer, he patted the side of the bed. When she sat down, somewhat ill at ease, he continued. “While I was laying there, and ready to die, a voice broke through the haze and said something I have longed to hear for so many years.”
Ace stared at the wall.
“This voice said how she didn’t want to lose her Grandfather. Now, I know I didn’t dream it.” His eyes twinkled as he observed the girl trying to ignore him.
She did not say what was on her mind. “I want to stay here, I want to be part of this family.” Although it went unsaid, her feelings were evident in her expression.
“No matter where you go, or who you are with, you’ll still be my Grandchild.” He raised his eyebrows as she glanced over at him. “My first and only one, so far,” the man added in a kind voice.
Adam, Hoss and Joe stood outside the room, eavesdropping in on the conversation. Hoss and Joe smiled, but Adam scowled.
Ben put his uninjured arm around her and pulled her close to him with a brief hug. He was surprised that she allowed for this embrace. She stood up when he released her, and said, “It’s been a long day, and I’m kind of tired. And I’m sure Doc Marten told you to rest.”
Ben nodded as she made her way to the door.
She paused with her hand on the doorknob, and then she turned to face him. “Goodnight, Grandfather,” she said barely audibly.
Adam was the first to walk away, and Hoss and Joe disappeared as the door opened.
“Goodnight, little one,” he repeated in the same volume.
In his own room, Adam paced the floor with mounting self-pity. “Why,” he questioned the stillness. “How do I get through to you? I just find out you are my child, and before I can earn your acceptance, you’ll be gone.”
Adam lay down on his bed, and rested his hands under his head. After a few hours passed, he knew sleep was eluding him; he rose to his feet and left his room. Adam walked the short distance down the hall to Ace’s room. He stood there with his hand clenching the doorknob. He knocked once, and hearing no answer, he slowly opened the door and peered inside. He could see she was sleeping, and he didn’t want to wake her.
She murmured in her sleep and tossed slightly as her dream troubled her. The latch clicked as he closed the door, diminishing the light from the hallway. The troubled man stepped lightly across the room, and made his way to a chair close to the bedside of the sleeping youngster. He lowered himself onto the cushioned seat and watched her as she slept.
He
recalled the events that led to Ace’s stay at the Ponderosa. Will
had arrived, unannounced. Adam smiled as
his mind reviewed the visit. He and Will
squared off against each other, then a shot rang out
from by the barn, nearly striking Adam.
He saw his brother Hoss sneak up behind the tomboy, who was threatening
to shoot him again if he threw any more punches at Will Cartwright. Hoss
managed to disarm the girl, and Will made the
necessary introductions.
Later that evening, Will explained that he needed the Cartwrights to do him a favor and let Ace stay on the Ponderosa while he attended to some necessary business. He gave them the impression that he would return with in a few weeks and retrieve Ace. At no time, did he tell anyone that Ace was not his child.
Laura’s disclosure unsettled him. He felt ill prepared for fatherhood, especially finding out the child who threatened to shoot him when they first met was in reality, his own offspring. His father and brothers were supportive, yet Adam realized he was no closer to Ace than when she first arrived. He struggled with his feelings of insecurity. “I don’t know how to tell you I love you. What should I say? Can you ever accept me as your father? Will you be able to love me?”
The sleeping figure began to wrestle against a foe in her dream. As she lashed out against her attacker, Adam moved closer. He caught her arms as they flailed about wildly. “No,” she moaned. Ace bolted upright. “No,” she repeated clearer, with a terror filled voice.
“Ace,” he whispered loudly. “Ace, it is just a dream. Just a bad dream,” he said recalling how he dealt with Joe’s childhood nightmares. He was surprised at her strength as she tried to break free of his hold. Her eyes opened wide, her panic was evident. Her breathing came in short gasps as he tried to comfort her.
“Don’t send me back,” she said plainly. “I can’t go back there.”
He had no idea what caused this sudden fearful response. Whatever distress the youngster had left her trembling in his hold. “It was only a dream, Ace. You’re safe here.”
She closed her eyes tightly, and shook her head refusing to accept his statement.
Adam attempted to calm her fears by pulling the girl close in a gentle embrace. She pushed herself away, and said, “You wouldn’t understand.”
Although her actions hurt him, he did not give up. “Try me,” he offered.
“It won’t change anything. In a few days, it won’t matter.”
“I can’t help you if I don’t know what to do.”
Ace drew her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly. Her eyes bore a haunted look. “No, it’s my own battle. I’ll either survive, or die trying.” The dream that taunted her was of returning to the county home. There she faced constant ridicule, for being an unwanted child. The other children, who lived there, were orphans. Now, she not only had to cope with the idea of her mother sending her away, she also had a father who was letting her go. In her nightmare, she envisioned the two laughing at her, as they left her in the care of the Head Master. Her pleas for another chance went unheard.
Puzzled by her words, Adam tried to coax her into explaining her fears. She refused to discuss it with him, and turned onto her side, as she prepared to go back to sleep.
It was almost daybreak, when he returned to his own room. He still had no answers to his questions.
The days passed rapidly. Ace kept her distance from the Cartwrights, for the most part. Her stay was due to end in a few days, and it had become apparent that she was trying to remain unattached. During the day, she spent a lot of time alone, or assisted with looking for strays or helping with the branding.
As Ben recovered from his injuries, he thought about the girl who had appeared so suddenly in their lives. No one was ready for Laura’s introduction of this girl, especially Adam. Yet, it soon became apparent that there was no denying the truth. The girl reminded him of his eldest son, and thus, the challenge of getting both to adjust to one another. Ben found this difficult, for he knew his assistance may go unwanted and Adam might see it as interference. To add to this dilemma, he had to come to terms with being a Grandfather. Although being a grandfather was an idea he was excited about, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to play that role.
The day before she was to leave, one of the ranch hands asked Ace if she wanted to take a turn at riding one of the green-broke horses. Ace was eager to ride, and stood patiently as the hands readied another horse. She soon found herself in the ring, atop a feisty bay. She carefully gripped the rope cinch handle with her right hand, and gripped the animal’s sides tightly with her legs. They threw off the tether, when Ace gave the signal.
The wild animal began to buck and turn wildly, trying to oust the rider. Her hat flew from her head, as she struggled to remain seated. The hands were cheering her on, but she did not hear their shouts, as her full concentration was on the horse’s movements. Adam and Hoss emerged from the barn to see what all the fuss was about, and Adam realized that they were cheering Ace on. He grabbed one of the men closest to him and growled that they had better put a stop to this immediately. Rory waved to one of the riders in the ring, signaling an end, just as the bronco threw Ace. Before the riders could get to her, Adam crawled through the railings and was at her side. As soon as he knew she was not hurt, he grabbed her arm roughly dragging her back to safety, outside of the corral.
“And what do you think you were doing,” he asked shaking her roughly.
She looked at him with disbelief. “I think they still call it breaking a horse.” Her tone was heavy with sarcasm.
He smacked her across the face for her reply. He sternly berated her for her actions. “You will not take that attitude with me. Like it or not, I am your father and what I say goes.”
The
girl’s face clearly showed the mark from the force of the slap, and the spark
of joy vanished from her eyes. “Fine,”
she replied. “Just remember one thing,
though. I never came here looking for a
“Ace, I, a,” he began falteringly, as he regretted striking her. The red mark on her face remained quite pronounced. Ace’s words hit him harder than the slap he had given her a moment ago.
She waved him off with her right hand. “After today, it won’t matter, any how.” She walked away from him and headed for the house.
Hoss shook his head, when Adam looked to him for help. “A green-broke horse is a tad easier to reckon with than that one.”
“Damn it, Hoss. I just ruined everything.” He cursed his actions. “Now, she will leave, hating me.”
“When you get thrown by a horse, you get back on, right,” Hoss suggested. “Why not go try talking to her again, big brother? Maybe this time, go a little easier on her.”
Adam eyed his brother with apprehension. “And what if she won’t accept my apology.”
“You have never been known for quitting so easy before,” Hoss reminded him. “You never did with me or Joe.”
“Maybe you are right, Hoss,” he admitted with a sad look. “But I think keeping you to out of trouble was a whole lot easier.”
Ben saw her enter and asked if everything was all right, as she let the door close loudly behind her.
“Just fine,” she said and moved to the stairs. “I guess I ought to get busy packing my things is all.”
She disappeared up the stairs, before Adam entered the house. He tossed his hat on to the table, and saw his father watching him from his desk. “Something wrong, Adam,” he asked.
“No,” he said glumly. He threw himself into the red leather chair, and added, “ Were we this difficult to deal with?”
Ben smiled and then resumed a serious expression. “I’m not sure how to answer that.”
“I don’t recall any of us taking such fool hardy risks as kids, like Ace. She was out there trying to break one of the horses.”
“Well,” Ben drawled as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “There were times, actually.”
“Well, I’m sure that we may have gone a bit too far, but not like that one.” He glanced towards the stairs.
“Now Adam,” Ben began as he rose from the desk chair and leaned over the desk. “You boys had a slightly different upbringing compared to that child. You can’t expect her to just accept everything at the drop of a hat.”
“She knows right from wrong.”
“Yes, that she does,” he offered, agreeing with Adam. “But, what has this got to do with breaking horses?”
Adam pursed his lips. He shot his father an angry stare. “I told her the other day that she wasn’t allowed to ride anything that wasn’t properly broke. I can’t have her getting hurt. What would I tell Laura?”
Ben stood beside his son, who was fuming. “Maybe she just wanted to prove something, Adam. Ace is quite a kid, and she seems to know her limitations.”
“Oh, sure. Side with her,” Adam replied brooding. “It is obvious Ace has got you wrapped around her finger.”
Ben’s voice became apologetic. “She’s afraid to trust anyone. Start by being her friend.”
“Friend?” Adam’s voice was highly charged. “Since when is a father suppose to be their child’s friend,” he asked. Adam then noted the look on his father’s countenance. “I didn’t mean it that way. What I meant was,” he started to say but Ben interrupted him.
“I know what you meant, son,” he added. “Look, Ace went upstairs to pack. Go up there and talk to her.”
He hung his head in disgust. “I can’t,” he admitted. “Not right now.”
Ben remained silent, and Adam eventually recounted the argument outside. “I said that as her father, what I say goes.” His face reflected his distress. “Ace reminded me that she didn’t come here looking for a father.” Adam’s dark eyes sought out help from his own father. “She made me so angry, I even hit her.”
Ben closed his eyes for a moment, and pondered the words. They had left their mark on Adam and he tried to cajole his son. “I’m sure she did not mean it as hurtful as it sounded.” He clapped his son on the back.
“As hard as I’ve tried, I cannot reach her.”
“Maybe you’ve been trying too hard.”
Ace toyed with the food on her plate at dinner. She offered nothing to the conversation. Before the others finished their meals, she asked permission to leave the table. At first, Adam was reluctant to agree, but the signal from his father, told him it was probably a good idea to let her go. “You hardly touched your dinner,” Adam noted.
Ace kept her temper in check. “I guess I wasn’t very hungry. So, may I be excused,” she asked again.
“Go ahead,” Adam said eyeing her warily. He expected her to return to her room upstairs and was noticeably surprised, when she headed for the front door. It had started to rain, and the sound of the rain became clearer when the front door opened.
Before they adjourned to the Great Room for coffee, Adam announced he was going outside to join Ace. He donned a jacket and proceeded out the front door, assuming she was either on the porch or out in the barn. After a few minutes of searching, he returned to the Great Room with an odd expression. “Did Ace come back in, maybe through the kitchen?”
“No, why?” Ben saw the look of concern.
“She’s not outside, not in the barn, not around the yard.”
Adam then took the stairs two at a time and hastened down the hall to her room. Ace was not there, either. He returned downstairs, and returned to the door, now taking his hat.
“And where are you going?”
“I’m going to find out where she is,” Adam replied to his father’s question. “This is her last night here for who knows how long.”
“Now, Adam, Ace is probably near by. I mean it’s raining, so how far is she going to go in a storm like this,” Ben asked.
“I guess I‘m going to find out,” he said and donned his hat.
Three hours passed, and no word from Adam or Ace. The storm had intensified during their absence, and Ben tried to convince himself that they were talking things over in the shelter of the barn. He kept Hoss and Joe from checking up on the pair, saying they needed this time alone.
At the stroke of eleven, Ben dimmed the lights in the Great Room and headed into the kitchen, without the aid of additional lighting. As he strolled out of sight, the front door creaked open and a bedraggled looking figure entered. Ben stepped back into the Dining Room and watched Ace as she made her way towards the newly stoked fire, unaware of his presence. She held her outstretched hands over the heat of the flames, as a small puddle of water began to form on the hearth, as the rainwater dripped from her clothes.
“I thought better of you,” he said breaking the silence.
Ace tried to regain her composure after his voice startled her.
“I honestly believed that you’d have enough sense to come in out of the rain,” he added with a hint of humor in his voice.
“I lost track of time,” she replied almost apologetically. “I suppose I’m in for a lecture,” she added, glumly.
“Well, actually,” Ben taunted, until he saw her woeful expression. “No, not really. Look, I was going to make some hot cocoa. Care to join me,” he suggested. “You can just stay by the fire and dry off. I’ll just be a few minutes.”
When he returned with the tray, it was obvious that Ace had gone upstairs and changed into dry clothes. He signaled her to join him on the settee. She sat down on the far right side and he took his place on the left. As she sipped at the warm beverage, a shiver raced through her. Ben instinctively got up and placed a blanket around her shoulders. “I guess I was stupid for wandering off for a while.”
“A while,” he chuckled. “Several hours, I’m afraid. I think that Adam wanted to spend some time with you, tonight.”
She nestled further under the warmth of the blanket. “All he would do is lecture me on being a proper youngster,” she said disgusted. “Act like a lady, don’t do this. Do not do that. Look out, you could get hurt,” she said, trying to imitate Adam’s voice. It was evident that she was still angry.
Ben laughed at her, but did have to agree in part. He placed his right arm over the back of the settee, and tried to defend his son’s worries. “You see, when a person finds out they’re going to be a father, they usually have some time to get use to the idea. Then, the next thing is, a man has time to be there to watch his child grow up.” Ben shifted slightly before he continued. “Now with you, on the other hand, you were quite a surprise to all of us!”
Ace smiled sleepily. “I suppose I was,” she said. “Never knew anyone else outside of my mother, my sister and Will.” Ace stared at the fire. “When Peggy died, I guess I just quit trying to find out if there was anyone else around. I’d lost my best friend, so nothing mattered, any more.” In her tired state, the flames seemed to take on a hypnotic effect. It was becoming harder to stay awake. Ben saw she was falling asleep, and let her stay where she was. He left her and brought the empty cups to the kitchen. She was fast asleep when he returned, curled up in the corner of the settee.
Before Ben moved to the blue chair to watch her sleep, he covered her with the blanket. Ace looked so young and innocent. After a while, he began to nod off, and awoke when he heard the sounds of the front door opening and closing. Adam had returned, and from the doorway, he couldn’t see Ace asleep on the settee.
Adam placed his hat and coat on the table, and spoke softly. His disappointment was evident. “I looked all over for Ace, and I couldn’t find her. I am afraid she has disappeared. What am I going to tell,” he started to ask when Ben signaled him to be quiet.
“Shh,” he said. He placed his forefinger to his lips. “Ace showed up here about an hour ago. She was worried that you were upset with her.” His eyes fell upon the sleeping child. “She fell asleep about twenty minutes ago,” Ben added. “I told her you had wanted to spend some time with her tonight, and that you might be a bit disappointed, is all.”
Adam combed the hair that had fallen across her eyes away, and smiled at the child. “You never told any of us that being a parent was so difficult.”
“I am not sure that is as difficult as you think. You just need to have patience, and a lot of love.”
“So, my worrying was pointless,” he asked, his hands gripped the back of the settee. “I seem to recall you being a bit anxious if one of us was later than expected.”
“I still feel that way, son. There is never a day that passes when I don’t worry about all of you.”
“Thanks, Pa,” Adam said. “I guess none of us ever gave that a thought. I better get her upstairs to her room,” he added tiredly.
“Do you want a hand?”
“No, I think it’s time I accept the responsibility.”
He scooped the child up into his arms, and headed for the stairs. He made his way down the hall to the room
Her eyes opened slightly. “I’m sorry,” she said as Adam placed her on the bed and sat down beside her.
“There is no need to be sorry. I’d say we both made a mistake.”
“Then you aren’t mad at me, ” she asked.
“A little. But, I was pretty worried when I couldn’t find you,” he replied.
“I wasn’t good about doing what folks tell me. Even when I was little, I just did as I wanted,” she said sleepily. “After a while it never seemed to bother anyone.”
Adam smiled. “I doubt that. It may have only seemed that way.”
She turned onto her side, still facing Adam. “I wish tomorrow would never come.”
“Me, too,” he agreed solemnly, as he drew a blanket over her. “I’m going to miss you.”
Her only response was a smile, as she drifted back to sleep. He covered her with the quilt and leaned over her, and kissed the top of her head.
The next morning, Ace was up early and had gone out for one last ride out to the lake. Ace returned before her mother arrived, and went inside to collect her things. Adam was outside waiting when Laura arrived, hoping to discuss new options.
“I want to ask you to let Ace stay here, for good,” he said.
“Adam, I can’t. She’s all I have left. I did some foolish things in my life, as we both know, and giving up Adie is not up for discussion.”
Adam placed his hand on the wall above Laura’s shoulder. “You did send her away for almost four years,” he reminded her.
Laura looked at him coolly, and replied, “Yes, yes I did, but that is in the past. It’s time that I face what I have done and start anew. When I married Will, I thought that everything would be perfect. He knew I was carrying your child, and we both believed that we could have the best of both worlds. I honestly thought that I could make it work. My world collapsed around me when I lost Peggy. Then Will left me. I started to look upon Adie as a reminder of all my failures instead of a chance to go on.”
“I want to be a part of her life. I am her father.”
“Adam,” she said softly touching his chest. “I know that, but she is my child. You don’t even know her.”
He
started to turn away from Laura, angered by her words. “That’s why I want Ace to stay, to stay here
on the Ponderosa.” Adam looked over to
the corral. His eyes were as dark as his
mood. “I deserve the chance to get to
know her. I want to hear her call me
“Please, Adam. Don’t make this any harder than it is.”
He
turned sharply, and placed both hands on her shoulders holding her firmly at
arm’s length. “About a week ago, Ace
saved my father’s life. She even started
to call him Grandfather.” His voice
cracked with emotion. “And now, you deny
me the chance to hear her call me her
“Say your goodbyes to Adie. I am taking her with me.” Laura headed back for her buggy ending the argument. Adam entered the house. He tried to hide his disappointment from the others, especially Ace. A forced smile slowly emerged.
Ace was saying her goodbyes to the others when he entered. Joe took her satchel and followed Hoss outside. “Well, I guess this is it,” she said to Ben Cartwright. “Thanks for everything.” She stuck out her right hand to shake his, and he took it, and pulled her close. He gave her warm embrace and whispered that he was going to miss her.
Ace looked up at the kindly man.
Ben smiled at her, ruffling her hair. “Remember what we taught you.”
Ace blinked hard, fighting back the tears. “I’ll do my best, Grandfather.”
She turned slowly, and saw Adam standing by the open door. Ace lowered her head and walked towards him. He stood before her, and then crouched slightly to match her height. “Things won’t be the same around here.”
She shrugged her shoulders. “After a few days, it’ll be like I was never here,” she said.
He led the way outside, and they stood in the shadows of the porch. “I asked Hoss to ready Jiggers for you. Laura said you could take him back with you.”
Ace smiled, but it was not a joyous expression. She sighed softly then turned to face Adam, looking up at his face. “Maybe I can come back, someday.”
He rested his arm across her shoulders. “I’d like that very much.”
She lowered her eyes and stared at the porch flooring. “Yeah, I would, too.” She swallowed hard before continuing. She raised her head and saw her mother observing them from the buggy. “I guess I ought to apologize for all the trouble I caused you. I was never much for doing as I was told.”
“So I found out,” he agreed with a wink.
She stuck her thumbs through her belt loops and looked away from her mother. Her eyes shone with tears that she held back. “I may not have turned out to be the kind of daughter you would have raised, but then again, if you’d been around as my Pa, maybe I could’ve made you proud of me.” She threw her arms around his neck and gave him a quick hug, and raced across the yard before he could respond.
They soon drove out of sight, and Ben joined the dumfounded man on the front porch. “What is it, son,” he asked at Adam’s odd expression.
Adam
just shook his head, as he thought about what Ace said. “I’m going to miss her,
“I’m sure you and Laura can work something out, over time.”
Laura talked about the changes that she had made at the house, in preparation for Ace’s return. They rode for several miles, and Ace remained silent. Laura pulled back on the reins, stopping the buggy. “They are quite a family,” she said to Ace.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I almost married Adam, you know.”
“I know.”
“Did Adam explain that to you?”
She nodded.
“I loved him very much, but when Will came along, I decided I wanted more. Adam offered me a home and security. Will, on the other hand, offered me a life I had never known. Will showed me a life filled with adventure and excitement.” Laura looked at her daughter wistfully. “We went to tell Adam that we had fallen in love. When we found him, I discovered that he had been building a house, which was to become our home. It was to be a surprise.” Laura sadly recalled the details. “I had no idea, at the time. You see, Will had swept me off my feet, and I couldn’t see anything but a life filled with mystery.
“When we got there, Adam was on the ground. He was badly hurt, and at first, it appeared that he’d never be able to walk again. Even though I offered to stay by his side, it was a thought I dreaded. I had Peggy and my unborn child to think about.”
Ace listened but kept her eyes peeled on the road ahead. Her fists remained hidden, as she clenched and unclenched her hands.
“Adam sensed my doubts and he wished Will and I a lifetime full of happiness. If Adam had asked me to stay, I would have. I know you find that hard to believe. I did love him, but I chose to go with Will. I don’t regret this, except where you are concerned.”
“Adie,” Laura continued, and then she called the child, Ace. “It’s obvious that you’d be happier there, on the Ponderosa.” Laura looked at Ace who did not turn to face her. Her child’s expression was sober. Her eyes stared ahead. “I hurt a lot of people by only thinking of myself, all these years.”
She placed a gloved hand on Ace’s arm, and said, “Look at me, child.”
Ace complied with Laura’s order.
“I hurt Adam very much when I left him. This morning, Adam made it clear to me that he cares about you very much. He tried very hard to convince me to let you stay.” Laura’s voice began to waver. “I watched the two of you today, and I saw you have changed. Now, listen to me carefully. I’m about to say something I may live to regret.”
Ace eyed her confused, but remained silent.
“Get out of the buggy. Get on that horse and go home, to the home where you belong.”
Ace hesitated, and Laura spoke more sharply. “Do it now, before I change my mind.”
Ace scrambled out of the buggy, and proceeded to untie the horse.
“You had better behave and do him proud,” she added in a tearful voice. “I don’t want him to be hurt by any one, ever again,” she added as Ace mounted the frisky horse.
Laura turned her back to Ace and snapped the reins sharply. As the buggy began to pull away, Ace watched her mother and when Laura looked back, Ace grinned and waved, before heading in the opposite direction.
Ace rode back at a leisurely pace, and when she arrived at the Ponderosa, she noticed that all was quiet. Ace walked up to the front door, and debated entering, then decided to knock. Hop Sing opened the door, and she signaled him to be quiet, by placing her index finger to her lips.
“Who is it, Hop Sing,” Ben called from his desk. He and Adam were reviewing contracts they spread out before them.
“Heard you might be interested in taking in a kid looking for a place to stay,” Ace said somewhat out of their viewing range. “Of course, if you aren’t, then I’ll just mosey along.”
As she gave her introduction, Ben and Adam proceeded to the doorway, their smiles were as broad as Ace’s was. “There is a pretty big world out there to explore.”
“What? How,” both men asked at the same time.
Ace shrugged as she stuck her hands into her back pockets. “I was told to come back here.”
“Well,” Adam drawled. “This sure is a new twist. You actually did something you were told to do!”
Ben folded his arms across his chest and asked Adam, “Do you think we have the room?”
“I
don’t know,
Ace eyes studied their faces. She fought to keep her expression casual. “Now, wait a minute,” she replied. “Isn’t it good enough that I did what I was told?” Then she added, “Today?”
“What do you think, Adam?”
“Once is a start,” Adam mused. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully; his eyes twinkled. He then drew the girl close and held her tightly. “Welcome home.”
“Thanks, Pa,” she said as she hugged him back.
Ben heard the sounds of horses in the yard. He headed outside to investigate, while Adam welcomed Ace back, unaware of anything else.
Ben stepped off the porch and approached the buggy. “Don’t tell me you changed your mind,” he said to Laura as he drew nearer.
Laura smiled half-heartedly. “No, no I haven’t,” she said. “I just wanted to make sure Adie, er, Ace did come back here.”
“Do you want me to get her?”
“No. We said our good-byes a long time ago.” Laura’s face bore a far away look, and then suddenly changed as she realized that Ben was starring at her. “She belongs here,” Laura added as she gathered the reins.
“Thank you. I am sure this is not easy for you. I have never seen Adam as happy as he is now.”
“Maybe, I will stop by and see how things are in a few months, or a year.” Laura sighed heavily. “I don’t know if any of you will believe me, but I never stopped loving Adam. The day I realized I was still in love with Adam, it was too late to tell him. Maybe, raising our child will help him forgive me.”
When she disappeared from view, Ben returned to the house and got a questioning look from Adam. Ace had gone upstairs to unpack.
“That was Laura. She wanted to make sure Ace got back here all right,” Ben explained.
“Was that all she wanted” Adam asked with Ace out of earshot.
“She said she was sorry, and hoped that someday, you’ll forgive her.”
“Someday”, he replied with a far away look. “Maybe, someday.”
The End