Snakes
This
is a short story about Joe and Hoss going fishing, Joe can’t help being Joe,
pranking Hoss.
It
was a beautiful summer day, the perfect day for two young boys to go fishing.
Hoss
was in a hurry to catch the big one. He and Little Joe had a bet, 2 bits
(25 cents) to the one who
brought in the first fish and 2 bits
for the largest fish. Hoss was out to get the fifty cents he knew Little
Joe
had stashed in his sock drawer.
Little
Joe's short 7 year old legs couldn't keep up with 13 year old Hoss much larger
ones. LJ knew he
had to slow Hoss down or lose
out on landing the first fish.
Little
Joe decided maybe he could slow Hoss down, when he hollered "SNAAAKE" and
sure enough
poor Hoss went to jumping, leaping
and hollering, both feet moving like pistons while he
was trying to
climb an imaginary tree, or so it
looked to Joe.
Joe
doubled over laughing.
Hoss
didn't think it was one bit funny when he realized Joe was only joking. Hoss
ran after Little Joe
trying to tear a vital part off the
little monster for the cruel joke he had played on him. Fortunately, Joe
was
a faster runner and could keep
way ahead of Hoss.
Hoss
grew tired of chasing Little Joe and went back to walking he was soon outdistancing
Little Joe. ,
Little
Joe not wanting to be left behind hollered" SNAAAKE" to watch Hoss jump up
and down and run
around in circles.
Little
Joe doubled up with laughter and was already running way ahead of Hoss before
Hoss could catch
him.
"Now
dagnabbit Joe, I'm gonna
tear yer arm off an' beat ya with the bloody stump if’n
ya don't quit that
thar hollerin'
SNAKE." Hoss threatened once he grew tired of chasing Little Joe.
Joe
just giggled and soon was lagging behind again, and so hollered 'SNAAAKE'
just to slow Hoss
down. Hoss nearly kill himself
to get away from 'nothing'.
Joe
did this several times and Hoss, never failed to amuse Little Joe as he jumped
up and down and
ran all around scared half out
of his mind at of the mention of snake. Joe giggling every time and running
away from an angry Hoss..
The
reached the lake and Joe ran on down to the lake throwing his line in, making
sure he was quite a
ways away from Hoss.
Hoss
realized he had been tricked again not only by fake snakes, now the little
varmit done had his line
in the water. Hoss hurriedly
baited his hook and tossed his line in too, not to be outdone by little Joe.
Both
boys sat waiting for something to happen. Nothing was nibbling let alone
biting.
After
drowning several worms, Joe
got bored and let his line trail off as he started day dreaming. He
rolled over on his stomach just as a snake slithered between Hoss boots.
Joe seen the rattles on the
end of the tail. He froze and
then screamed "SNAAAKE!!!
Hoss
immediately went into action jumping straight up and came down right on top
of the snake’s head
smashing it flat, killing the snake.
Hoss kept dancing on the snake and hollering trying to get his legs
under control to run rather than
go straight up and down stomping repeatedly on the snake.
His arms
were swinging round
and round like windmills or like he was trying to take off in flight. He finally did take
off running. Joe seen the snake
was dead when it didn’t move after Hoss was clean out of sight.
Hoss
realized he had left his little brother at the mercy of the snake and rushed
back to check on him.
Joe
was grinning holding the dead snake by the tail.
Hoss
started grinning as he said. “Hey Joe, that thar
snake never stood a chance with one stomp I had
him dead.” Hoss bragged his fear
suddenly gone.
Joe
tried several times on the way home to scare Hoss by hollering "SNAKE" but
Hoss just grinned and
said "I'm over bein’ afead of them little
wiggly things on the ground. Why, one whomp with
a "Hoss" boot
makes dust of them critters".
They
were still on the way home when Little Joe thought he saw a cave up above a ledge. He
got the
bright idea if Hoss would shove him
up on this ledge, maybe he could scout it out. See
what was in it.
Hoss
wasn’t too keen on the idea, but after much begging and pleading by Little
Joe Hoss let Little Joe
climb up on his shoulders staggering
a bit on the uneven ground. Hoss gently raised Little
Joe up over
the ledge when Little Joe seen
the biggest snake sunning itself right on the edge of the
ledge.
Little
Joe shoved away from the wall "Sn sn sn....." Joe tried to shout but only a croak came
out. "Oh
stop foolin’
around Little Joe, that stupid snake stuff don't scare me no more." Hoss slammed
Joe back up
against the ledge right eye to eye
with the snake. Joe stammered ssss...sssss gaaaahhh meeeee" and
tried to get down but Hoss had him
firmly by the ankles and groused, "Joe you ain’t the lightest thing I ever
had to tote on my shoulders! Now
get on up there!” and he shoved Joe back up to the ledge and told him
to just climb up there". Joe finally
got out sn... sn...
snake!!!" as part of the ledge came off in Little Joe’s
hand. Hoss
was getting really riled "Now dadburnit Joe I
about had enough of you and that snake joke!!'.
He then placed both hands on
Joe's butt and shoved him back up to the ledge... Joe realized Hoss wasn't
going to let him down, he was going
to have to fight that dad blamed snake or die trying. He
still had a
chuck of rock in his hand. He poised
ready to smash it. It was gonna be him or the
snake when he
realized the snake was dead. He was so relieved he just grabbed the snake by the middle and dropped it
onto the ground.
Hoss
seen the snake as it was flying through the air and when it hit the ground Hoss feet
took over and
he ran flat out in a bee line headed for the house, he cleared one side of the corral
cleanly and only
knocked off the top board on the other
side. The milk house loomed up in front of him he just banked high
on the rock wall of the milk
house as he tore around a narrow curve between the milk house and the
smoke house. then he accelerated once again in a flat out sprint
toward the house. He finally ran out of
steam and chugged to a stop on the
porch streaming sweat and gasping every swear word
he could think
of and a few he made up...
Joe
let go of Hoss hair and dropped to the ground.
" The snake was dead!!" Joe
gasped, "The snake was dead!"
“I
know that” Hoss said breathlessly.
“Then
why did you run like the devil was after ya? “Joe
gasped out
Hoss
could barely answer " Well, my mind knew it was dead, and there was nothing
to be afeered of, but
my feet didn’t know it..."
Joe
tried to grin but Hoss had just scared the living daylights out of him.
The
boys rested for a bit before silently going on into the house.
"So boys how was the fishing" Pa wanted to know. "Catch
anything?"
Joe
looked at Hoss wondering just what Hoss was going to say.
"Nope
Pa, didn't catch nary a thing." was all Hoss had to say.
Joe
sighed a huge sigh of relief.
Good
ol' Hoss, you could nearly depend on him......Joe
was thinking when Hoss cut into his thoughts.
"Yeah,
who needs fish, when Joe was so bent on huntin
for snakes? all the way down there, he kept
thinkin he seen a snake...and well
pa, you know how scart I am of them. ol' Joe here finally found
him one
and well...he decided he didn't
want no snake after all... and Hoss went on to relate the "snake story" to
end all snake stories, not even
forgetting the best part about how Joe stuck to him like glue when they
both knew it was dead.
Adam
and Pa laughed until their sides hurt, tears running down their cheeks.
That is the best story I have heard in many a year pa said," Now go wash up for supper."
By Nicki Beau