THE MUD BATH
POW CHALLENGE
Written by Lynne Coulson

"What are you doing in that there mud, Little Joe? Ain't ya a bit big
for playin' mud pies?"

My big brother Hoss just loved to state the obvious, and right at
that moment, I really had no comeback for his question. This had just
about been one of the worst days of my life and I was in no mood for
answering, with my usual snappy, smart repartee.
I tried to smile, but my mouth filled up with mud and I ended up
spitting and choking, instead.

Hoss ran to my aid, patted me on the back, and then helped me to my
feet.

"If I were you, I'd go and get cleaned up afore Pa gets back from
Carson, Little Joe," said Hoss. "You know how he likes us to look
smart when we go to town, family pride an' all that, and Hop Sing
will jest about throw the biggest hissy ever, when he sees the state
of them clothes of yourn. In fact he jest might go on strike and stop
cookin' fer us."

I knew Hoss was right, and besides, I still had to go after Millie
and try and get her to forgive me for smearing her with mud, when I
kissed her. I reckoned the quickest way to get cleaned up was to take
a dip in a water trough, to rinse off the worst of the mud, and then
head for the public baths, so that's what I did. I had to ask Hoss to
go and buy me a new set of clothes and to take my others over to Hop
Ling, Hop Sing's father, to get them washed, as I didn't want to take
them home to Hop Sing, and face his wrath.

This trip to town was costing me a heck of a lot of money and as I'd
only been working for a few months, I didn't have much to spend. As I
lay in the bath, soaking off the mud, which had got into every
possible orifice, I was plotting my revenge on the fiend who had
caused me to end up in that mud, my eldest brother, Adam.

It had started out sounding like a real fun day. Hoss was entering
Macho, his prize bull, in the annual stock fair in Virginia City and
had enlisted the help of Billy Penn, the son of a friend of ours, a
pig farmer, to get Macho Segundo ready for the event. The boy was a
bit younger than me, but I knew him and he was a likeable kid, only
he'd started hanging out with a real bunch of no hopers. He was
getting into all kinds of trouble and Hoss was hoping to help sort
him out, by getting him to work with the bull. I also tried to talk
him out of having these guys as friends, as I knew, to my cost, that
they were no good. A few months before, I, too, had started to hang
out with them, until I got wise to their tricks. Before I did,
though, Adam found out about it and threatened to wear me out, but
good, if he caught me with them again. He promised he wouldn't tell
Pa what I'd been getting up to, as long as I stopped seeing them, and
I had done as he'd said, eventually. As I said, I realised they were
no good, well with a bit of help from Adam, I did, and found other
friends, but Billy then joined up with `em.

Adam had been away, on a prolonged business trip for Pa, and it was
unfortunate for me that he arrived home on the day of the stock fair.
He saw me talking with Sam Carterfield, got hold of the wrong end of
the stick, and threw me in the mud puddle, as punishment for breaking
my word to him.

Hoss did try to explain, but it was not until after Adam had
humiliated me, that he realised he'd been mistaken. I had been trying
to get Sam and his friends to back off and leave Billy alone, as the
boy didn't wanna be part of their gang, anymore. By playing the Good
Samaritan, I'd ended up being laughed at by a fair few of the
citizens of Virginia City and had most likely lost out on a dancing
partner at the social, which was being held after the fair. Millie
was not gonna accept me as an escort, after I embarrassed her by
giving her a muddy face, in fact she told me she hated me. I was
hoping I might be able to sweet talk her into changing her mind, but
with hardly any money left, with which to buy her something to cheer
her up, I doubted I would succeed.

I thought of all the ways I could get back at Adam, but none of `em
had enough of an impact to make me feel that I would be restoring my
honour, so I lay in the water and thought some more, until a better
plan presented itself.
I was soon dressed and ready to put my plan into action.

There was going to be a dinner at the International Hotel for all the
winners of the various categories at the fair. I was pretty certain
that Macho would have won, and that meant that our family would be
attending the dinner. Pa would be back from Carson by then and so he
would be there, too.

I managed to avoid my brothers and I headed over to the Silver
Dollar, to have a word with Lily, a friend of mine who worked there.
When I told her about my plan, she readily agreed to help me, for a
small fee. It took the rest of my money, but I paid her and then went
to find Millie.
Thankfully, she had calmed down a bit, and when she heard that it
hadn't been my fault and that Adam had thrown me in the mud, she was
full of concern and asked if I was hurting anywhere. I wasn't, but I
let her think otherwise, and we spent an enjoyable few minutes, as
she kissed my boo boos better. Truth be told, I think the mud had
been good to my body, as my skin felt a lot softer than it had had,
but I didn't tell Millie that.

I told her I would meet her at the social hall, in time for the
dance, and then I went and found Hoss. Macho had won the blue ribbon
and so we were going to the winner's dinner. Pa arrived just in time
to come with us and the four of us headed for the International.
Without letting Pa know what he was doing, Adam did try and
apologise, but I chose to ignore him. He couldn't say much, as he'd
promised not to tell Pa about my involvement with Sam and his gang,
and so he dropped the subject, before Pa got suspicious.

When we were in the middle of the main course, a girl suddenly burst
into the restaurant, carrying a baby.

"Ha, I've tracked you down at last, Adam Cartwright," she said. " You
took advantage of me and then tried to pretend we had never met, when
I told ya that Junior was on the way. Well, here's the proof. Adam,
meet your son," and she held the baby up in front of him.

For once, my usually eloquent, calm, unflappable oldest brother was
at a total loss for words. The colour completely drained from his
face and he looked over at our father.

"Honestly, Pa, I've never met this lady, before," he eventually
managed to say, while I stuffed my serviette in my mouth, in order to
stifle my laughter.

Of course, that was the truth. Adam hadn't met her before. She was
Lily's sister, on a visit, with her husband, to show off her new
baby. Lily had asked her to put on this act, in order for me to get
my revenge on Adam, and it worked, perfectly.

However, I soon gave the game away, as I couldn't stop laughing, and
it didn't take my family long to realise that I was involved in this
lady's charade.

I ended up having to explain the whole story to Pa, including how I'd
been hanging out with Sam and his gang, and why Adam had tossed me in
the mud. Fortunately, Pa's business in Carson had been successful,
and he was in a good mood. He made both Adam and me apologise to each
other and he suggested that Adam paid for my new set of clothes. Adam
agreed, and so I was able to treat Millie when we attended the dance.

The day ended better than I'd expected it to, although I'm not sure
that my eldest brother won't be looking for ways to get back at me,
for embarrassing him with the baby.
Oh well, it all makes for a fun filled life on the Ponderosa.

THE END
July 2004

Little Joe forever
Lynne



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