Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho,

Rated: Q (for questionable)

Summary:  After this, Joe's in for it good!

“Hi-O, Hi-O,

It’s Off to Church We Go!”

“I still cannot believe that you talked me into this, you little varmint!” Adam declared.

Joe snickered, continuing to stroll along side the others as they approached the outermost edge of Virginia City.

“It ain’t funny!” stormed Hoss.

“Just think about what this will do to our good name!” Ben grunted, obviously not in a good mood.

“You three worry too much,” giggled Little Joe, scratching at his backside.

“WORRY!” his father stormed, “For Pete’s sake, Joseph, look at us!”

“No, don’t look…I’m…embarrassed,” Hoss stammered meekly, using his large beefy hand to cover himself.

Joe glanced over in his brother’s direction and grinned.

“You ain’t got nothing to be embarrassed about, big brother…”

“JOSEPH! FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE!” Ben growled, his mood darkening.

“Well, I still cannot believe that I am doing this!” sputtered Adam.

“Honestly, Adam, you won’t feel out of place. Everyone else will be dressed…hehehe…exactly the same, I promise,” Joe said.

Adam glanced around his father and bigger brother to peer into the face of his youngest, most audacious, kid brother. Ben and Hoss followed his gaze.

Joe felt all eyes on him and he, accustomed to the quizzical glances of his family, smiled in his most enduring, sad puppy dog way that he had.

“Honest,” he smiled.

Ben held up his hand and stopped in his tracks. He turned, facing his sons.

“Joseph…are you positive you heard correctly?” Ben questioned.

“Positive,” said Joe, with certainly. He knew he was not mistaken.

“There is absolutely no way that you could have misunderstood?” Ben continued to interrogate the boy.

“Absolutely, Pa…” Joe crossed his heart.

“I just don’t understand the meaning of this. Tell me, Joseph, one more time, word for word what the preacher said,” Ben said with a stern look.

“Pa…I done told you about a hundred times already,” Joe said with a slight edge of agitation to his tone.

Ben frowned, drawing his thick brows downward until they met in the middle of his forehead. He used his most authoritative voice.

“Then make it one hundred and one times!”

Joe let out a huge sigh, leaving no doubts of his displeasure.

“Alright, but please, listen closely, Pa. I talked to the preacher about the meeting tonight, but I told him, we might not be able to make it. He put his hand on my shoulder, looked me straight in the eye and said, ‘Nay kid, come into town’ and I said, ‘naked?’ and he said, ‘yes, nay kid, everyone will be there. We will all stand in our glory before one another and bare our souls. It will be a sight to behold, we will all be as Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden…”

“And then, Pa, I said again, just so I’d know for sure what he meant, ‘did you say, naked…’

And the preached gripped my shoulder tighter, looked me straightaway without so much as batting an eye even once and said, ‘nay kid, absolutely’.

Ben shook his head in disbelief…”naked…bare our souls…the Garden of Eden. Well, boys, if that is what the preacher wants, then who are we to question his methods?’

Ben glanced at Joe with a smidgeon of doubt remaining on his face.

“Joseph, so help me, if you’ve misunderstood the man’s words…or meaning…I will personally tack your naykid hide to the side of the barn!”

“Aw…shucks, Pa…Joe ain’t no dummy, he heard right…why else would he want us to stroll into town amongst our friends dressed…ere…undressed like we are?” hem hawed Hoss.

“And you trust him?” Adam piped up to say.

“Sure, don’t ya? Look at’em big brother, he’s naked too, ain’t he?” Hoss said, always the one to come to his little brother’s defense.

“Roy…honest…it was a mistake,” Ben said, the burlap sack wrapped tightly about his lower extremities.

“We’d appreciate it, Sheriff, if you would kindly stop laughing,” growled Adam, his burlap skirt falling an inch short of his knees.

“Hahahaha….hehehhee…Oh….” giggled Roy.

“Dadburnit, Roy,” shouted Hoss, as he waved his fist into the air.

“HOSS!” roared Ben.

Hoss, forgetting that the only covering he had, a round wooden lid from the pickle barrel out front of Mr. Cass’ mercantile, he held in the hand waving frantically about over his head.

From somewhere, he heard a woman scream, then another and another, and within minutes, pandemonium had broken out on the main street of Virginia City. The ladies where running in all directions, men were waving fists at the Cartwrights, shouting words unfit for the church meeting, which by now had been called off due to over exposure of some of the less wholesome members.

“JOSEPH!” stormed Hoss, covering himself, “YA BEST HIDE GOOD, CAUSE WHEN I FIND, YA…YA GONNA HAVE A HIDE!”

Roy continued to laugh, pointing down the street, toward his office. “Come on,” he snickered, “I ain’t got no other choice but to arrest ya, indecent exposure, ya know!” hehehehe…hahaha…

From his hiding place, Joe watched as his father and brothers walked single file down the middle of the street toward the jail. How could he have been so wrong, he questioned himself. How could he have made such a horrible mistake? His father and brothers would be the laughing stock of the town and people would talk about this for years to come.

Joe snickered softly to himself, but then sobered suddenly. He really hadn’t meant to carry the joke this far, but once he got started, he was hard put to stop it. They had laughed at him last week for wallowing in the mud, trying to catch that ole sow, but they weren’t laughing now, surmised Joe. But then, after thinking of the consequences, neither was he.

THE END

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