Who Dun It? And Why?
By: Robin
"Well, Pa I'm sure you kin see, it don't belong to me," Hoss
Cartwright
argued. Ben and his sons stood around the cluttered kitchen table. Hop Sing
had
gone to visit his cousin in San Francisco. He was unexpectedly delayed and
the
four Cartwrights had struggled to prepare and serve a dinner for honored
guests. The party had gone fine until the coffee and dessert.
"Mine either, Pa!" Adam chortled. He laughed so hard tears came
to his eyes.
" This isn't funny! Ben roared. "I was entertaining the governor
and his wife
and this this this! He held up a discarded pair of tattered, faded boxer
shorts. "This was in the pie! IN THE PIE!!!"
"Well you know it sure isn't mine, Pa!" Joe giggled. "You
know what I wear…
or not."
"And usually not.." Adam laughed. At that remark Hoss couldn't
control
himself any more and he also broke into gales of laughter.
"THIS is not FUNNY!" Ben roared. He waved the ragged underpants
over his head
like a tattered flag.
"Ain't mine, Pa." Hoss repeated. "You know I am an XXXXL
kind of guy. Them
duds don't look much more than a medium."
"The governor! His wife! Senator Douglas bit into his pie! Underwear
at the
dining room table!" Ben sputtered. "UNDERWEAR!"
"Let me do some detective work. Joe Cartwright Detective will solve
this
mystery!" Joe bragged.
"And we all know how well that turned out, Joseph!" Ben shuddered
remembering
the last time Little Joe attempted to play at solving a mysterious crime.
"What can we say Pa" Adam snickered.
"Are you sure them are men's drawers?" Hoss said trying to help.
"Yeah Pa. Maybe they came from one of them gals who dress like boys
who
wander through here every once in a while," Joe said trying to solve
the mystery.
"Like Calamity Jane?" Adam suggested. "Maybe they are hers"
"How would something from Calamity Jane get in our pie?" Ben demanded.
His
sons totally ignored his question.
"Remember when I brought Cal home and Hoss walked in on her in the
tub? "
Little Joe elbowed his brother in the ribs.
Hoss turned bright red but quickly countered "And that little gal Adam
drug
home and didn't realize "she" was a "he" when Mark Twain
was working for the
Territorial Enterprise? "
"Yeah you boys are pitiful, " Joe said smugly. "You would
think at your age
you could tell a girl from a boy. Maybe I should give you two a bit of
educating."
"Enough of that," Ben ordered.
"Well Pa," Adam snickered. "You said it was pear pie. Bet
you didn't realize
it would be a P- A- I- R not a P- E- A- R!"
"Or a pair of Fruit of the Looms?" Joe cackled.
THE END