Disclaimer: This story was written for pleasure and not for profit. The characters do not belong to me.

6/03

Disheveled Wandering Stars*

By Regina Rutledge

The last light of dusk imperceptibly faded into darkness. As night took hold of the sky, countless points of light emerged, weaving pictures and stories in the heavens. Some stars were brilliant while others were ancient and faded. They flickered with hints of blue, yellow, and red. A shimmering blanket of light gently draped the distant mountains. The cloudless sky completed its metamorphosis from deep azure blue to velvet black.

Ben Cartwright gazed up as he leaned against the hitching post in front of the ranch house. He had been standing there captivated by the unfolding nighttime sky, overcome with a sense of awe at the magnitude of its beauty. It was both breathtaking and humbling. The evening was magnificent—almost perfect. The day had been unseasonably hot for early spring but the night air had turned cool and comfortable. A gentle breeze rustled through the trees causing the branches to sway in a rhythmic dance. It whispered softly, murmuring as it passed.

Although it was getting late, Ben had no desire to go inside. He walked onto the porch and sat at the table. After pouring another cup of coffee, he settled back in his chair. The front door opened and Adam stepped out carrying a cup. “There you are, Pa. What a beautiful night. I think I’ll join you if you don’t mind the company.”

Ben smiled at his oldest son. “I don’t mind the company at all. In fact, I’d really like it. Do you want some more coffee?”

Adam joined his father at the table, extending his cup. “Top it off, please.” He settled back into the chair. “The first warm night of spring always feels special.”

“Yes, it does,” Ben agreed. “ I suppose because it’s been such a long, hard winter.”

“It has been especially cold and we could’ve done with a little less snow.”

Ben smiled, “We could’ve done with a lot less snow.”

Across the yard, Hoss closed the barn door behind him. When he saw his father and older brother sitting on the porch, he crossed the yard to join them. As he sat down on the rocking chair, he said, “Sure is pretty out tonight.”

Ben smiled at his middle son. “Sure is. Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee?”

“No thanks, Pa.”

They sat is silence enjoying each other’s company and the dazzling display of nature until the front door banged open, disrupting the quiet of the night. Joe stepped out. “There you all are. I was wondering where everyone went.” When he noticed his father’s annoyed expression, he quickly added, “Sorry, about the door, Pa. It got away from me.” He was in his socks and his shirt was hanging out of his pants. His hair was ruffled. He pulled the blanket off the rocker behind Hoss as he passed, wrapping it around his shoulders before heading for the table. He yawned as he sat in the chair.

The sight of his youngest son amused Ben. “Joseph, you’re looking a bit disheveled.”

Joe smiled shyly. “I fell asleep reading in your chair. It sure is comfortable.”

“Maybe you should go to bed if you’re so tired.”

Joe quickly answered, “Oh no, Pa, I’m not tired anymore. Are you trying to get rid of me?”

Adam sarcastically teased, “If only we could.”

“Very funny, big brother.”

Ben laughed, “Okay, boys. Joseph, do you want some coffee to warm you up?”

“No thanks, Pa.” Joe stretched back in his chair and put his feet on the end of the table as he looked contently at the night sky. Ben frowned and cleared his throat. When Joe didn’t get the message, he voiced his annoyance. “Joseph, get your feet off the table.”

Joe looked at his father innocently. “But, Pa, I have my boots off and we’re outside.”

Ben answered sternly, “Do you really think that makes any difference whatsoever?”

“No, Sir. I guess not,” Joe sighed as he slowly brought his feet to the ground.

When he saw the doleful expression on Joe’s face, Ben hid a smile. “You guess right, young man.”

Ben looked around. Now the evening really was perfect. He was in the company of his three sons.

Joe continued to gaze at the sparkling sky. “Pa, I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many stars. Have you?”

Ben looked up into the sky. “It certainly is a clear night. It’s hard to imagine but I have seen starrier skies at sea. On the ocean, there aren’t any trees or mountains to obstruct your view so you can see stars all the way down to the horizon where the sky meets the sea.”

Joe could only imagine the wondrous sight. “I’d like to see that someday.”

“I’m sure you will.”

Joe smiled at his father’s prediction for the future, hoping it would come true. As he gazed at the sky, he let his imagination run wild. “I wonder what it’s like to be a star way up there in the sky.”

When Hoss laughed, Joe asked a little annoyed, “What’s so funny?”

“Well, little brother, I can’t imagine you wanting to be up high anywhere—especially way up there,” Hoss grinned.

Joe giggled, “If I were a star, I don’t think it would bother me. Hey, Hoss, Adam, if you were a star, which one would you be?”

Hoss smiled at his little brother. “I don’t know, Joe, but there sure are a lot to choose from. You have some imagination, boy.”

Adam laughed, “Imagination is a good thing even if Joe’s is a little too vivid at times.” He had always enjoyed making up stories and games for his younger brothers. He was more than willing to play along with Joe’s fantasy. He answered, “Well, Joe, if I had to choose a star that represented me, I’d have to say that Sirius comes the closest.”

Joe smiled broadly. He was happy that his oldest brother was taking up his challenge. “Oh, yeah? Why, Adam?”

“It’s obvious, Joe. Sirius is the brightest star in the sky,” Adam replied with mock smugness.

Joe laughed, joining in the good-natured ribbing. “Well, I guess that fits. It even sounds like you—‘serious.’ That’s you all right. And you are smart. There’s no denying that. A real asset to the family.”

Adam replied, “Why, thank you. It’s nice to be appreciated.”

“Sirius is part of the Orion constellation, isn’t it?” Joe asked.

“You’re right. I see you’ve been listening to Pa and me over the years.”

“I always listen to Pa and you do say some things worth listening to once in a while, big brother.”

When Ben cleared his throat, Joe added nervously, “I do listen, Pa. I…I guess I don’t always do what you tell me to.”

“No you don’t,” Ben laughed.

Joe relaxed when he realized that his father was teasing him. He turned to Adam and asked, “Is Orion out tonight? There are so many stars that it’s hard to make out the constellations.”

“It still is but it won’t be for long. You can only see Orion in the winter and early spring.” He pointed to the sky. “There’s Orion. See the belt and sword. Look down and to the left to find Sirius. You can’t miss it. It’s the brightest star up there.”

Joe found the star. “I see it. Okay, so you’re Sirius.” He turned his attention to Hoss. “How about you, Hoss? Which star would you be?”

Hoss shook his head. “I really don’t know, Joe.” He turned to his father who was enjoying listening to his sons’ fantasy and easy banter. “What do you think, Pa? If you had to choose a star that was most like me, which one would it be?”

Ben answered, “Well, Hoss, let me think.” He scanned the sky in search of the perfect star. “Hoss, I think that the star that best represents you is Alpha Centauri.”

“Alpha what?”

Ben smiled, “Alpha Centauri.”

“Good choice, Pa.” Adam nodded his head in agreement.

Hoss asked, “Really? Why?”

Ben considered his response. “Well, Hoss, of the three of you, you are the son whose feet are the most firmly planted on the ground. Alpha Centauri is the star that is closest to us. I can’t imagine you too far away from the Earth. You’re too connected here. You know this land like nobody else.” He smiled at Adam as he added, “And it’s also one of the brightest stars in the sky.”

Hoss beamed. He was pleased with the comparison. He looked up at the night sky, “Where is it, Pa?”

“I’m afraid you can’t see it from here, son. We’re a little too far north but it is the brightest star in the Southern Hemisphere.”

Hoss was disappointed. “Dadburn it. I’d like to have seen it.”

“You’ll see it someday. It isn’t far south from here.”

Joe jumped in eagerly. “It’s my turn, Pa. Which star do you think I would be?”

“You’re a hard one, Joseph. I’ll have to give it some serious thought.”

Joe caught on to the gentle teasing. “I know exactly which star you’d be, Pa. I don’t have to give it any thought at all.”

Ben raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really? And which star would that be, young man?”

Before he responded, Joe gave his father a dazzling smile. “Polaris. The North Star, of course.”

“I’m honored, son.” Ben returned his son’s warm smile. He understood and appreciated the comparison.

Hoss asked, “Why the North Star, Joe?”

“Because it’s always there in the nighttime sky. It defines directions. It helps us find our way when we’re lost. It stands still and doesn’t move. It doesn’t change. You can always depend on it to be there. Just like Pa.” Joe smiled as he looked at his two older brothers before he added, “And it isn’t seasonal like your two stars. You know, here today, gone tomorrow.”

Adam replied, “You better watch it, little brother, or you’ll be here today and gone tomorrow. Show a little respect for your elders.” He tried to look stern but he couldn’t quite pull it off. He smiled at his brother. “Polaris is the perfect choice, Joe.”

Hoss added his approval. “Real good choice, Joe. I’m surprised I didn’t think of it.”

Joe answered under his breath. “I’m not.”

Hoss tried to look mad but was having a hard time hiding his pleasure. “I heard that. Adam’s right, boy. You better show a little respect for your older brothers or we’ll just have to pound you.”

Ben smiled as he listened to his sons tease each other. “All right, boys. That’s enough. Thank you, Joseph. I appreciate the sentiment.”

“Did you think of a star for me, Pa?” Joe asked his father again.

Ben looked up at the night sky concentrating on the points of light. A shooting star caught his attention as it moved across the horizon. Another one followed behind. Ben pointed in their directions. “Over there, Joseph. That star reminds me the most of you.”

Joe looked in the direction his father was pointing. “Which one, Pa?”

Ben smiled as he put his arm around his son. “The shooting star, Joe. See it moving low on the horizon. That’s you—a disheveled wandering star.”

Joe was puzzled and a little disappointed by his father’s choice. “Disheveled wandering star? Why, Pa.?”

Ben saw the hurt on his son’s face. He answered gently, “Because it’s just like you, son. It can’t stand still. It’s in constant motion. It’s still looking for its place in the sky. It just hasn’t found it yet. And that’s the way it should be when you’re young. It takes time to find where you belong in the heavens and on Earth. You need to be patient and you’ll find your permanent place. In the meantime, you should enjoy the journey.”

Joe was satisfied with his father’s explanation. He wrapped the blanket tighter around his shoulders to ward off the chill. “When you put it that way, I guess you’re right, Pa.”

Ben squeezed his son’s shoulder. “Remember that, Joseph. I’m always right. And I’ll be here to guide you on your journey just like the North Star. Now, it’s getting chilly and late. You better get to bed. You have to get up before daybreak tomorrow.”

Joe’s expression immediately changed to a scowl as he complained, “Why, Pa? It’s Saturday. I don’t have to get up that early, do I?”

“Well, Joseph, if you’d rather sleep late than go with me to survey the trees we’ll be cutting this spring, it’s up to you. I’m sure Adam or Hoss would be happy to take your place.” Ben tried to keep his voice neutral.

Joe could hardly believe what he was hearing. He asked incredulously, “Really, Pa? You really want me to go with you?”

Ben continued his teasing. “Well, if you’d rather not…”

Joe hurriedly answered, “I want to go, Pa. I just can’t believe you want me to go with you. You always take Adam or Hoss.”

Ben put his hand on Joe’s arm. “You’re sixteen years old, son. It’s time for you to take turns with your brothers. It’s time for you to take more responsibility running the ranch.”

Joe smiled broadly at his father. “I better go pack myself and Cochise for the trip before it gets too late.”

“Don’t worry about packing, Shortshanks,” Hoss said. “Adam and I took care of that for you while you were having your beauty rest. You’re all ready to go. You best get upstairs so Pa don’t have to drag you out of bed in the morning.”

Adam smiled. “You don’t want to make him mad and change his mind.”

“Thanks. I don’t know what to say,” Joe whispered to his brothers.

Adam laughed, “That’s a first. Go on, get to bed.”

Joe smiled at his brothers. “Night, big brothers.” He turned to his father. “Thanks, Pa. I won’t let you down.”

“I know you won’t, son.”

Joe hurried to the front door and then hesitated as he opened it. He turned back and walked over to his father. Ben looked up at him questioningly. “Did you forget something, son?” Joe leaned over and kissed his father’s forehead. He quickly ran into the house. Ben smiled. This had indeed been a perfect evening.

*************************

Joe was up before dawn. He still couldn’t believe his father had asked him to go on the tree survey. More than anything else, he wanted to confirm his father’s faith in him and make him proud. He was eager to get under way. He hurried downstairs to the kitchen. Hop Sing, the family’s housekeeper, was surprised to see him up before anyone else. He asked, “You sick? Up early.”

“Good morning, Hop Sing. No, I’m not sick. Pa and I have to get an early start. I don’t want him waiting for me. Do you need any help?”

Hop Sing smiled as he shooed Joe out of the kitchen. “No need help. You go inside. Breakfast ready soon.”

Joe headed for the back door. “I’m going out to the barn to get the horses fed and ready. I’ll be back in time for breakfast.”

When Joe finished saddling and packing the horses, he tied them to the front hitching post. He went back in the kitchen door where Hop Sing handed him a pot of freshly brewed coffee. “Make father cup of coffee.”

Ben descended the stairs as Joe added sugar and cream to a cup of coffee at the table. He was surprised but pleased to see Joe. He knew his youngest son was anxious to prove himself. He smiled warmly. “Good morning, Joseph. I see you’re all ready to go.”

Joe beamed at his father. “Morning, Pa. I’m ready when you are. We can leave now.”

Ben smiled at his son’s barely contained enthusiasm. “Hold on, son. I’m glad to hear that you’re ready but I think we’ll have a good breakfast before leaving. It’ll be a long trip through some rough country. I don’t want you passing out on me from hunger.”

When he reached the table, Ben placed his arm around Joe’s shoulders. Joe handed him the cup of coffee. “Here you go, Pa. Just the way you like it.”

“Thank you. Now please sit down and have some breakfast,” Ben said as he guided Joe to his chair.

Joe sat obediently. “Yes, Pa.”

Hop Sing brought stacks of hotcakes, eggs and bacon to the table as Adam and Hoss came down the stairs. Hoss grinned at Hop Sing. “Good morning. That sure smells good. I’m hungry enough to eat the side of a barn.”

Ben scolded, “Just make sure you leave enough for your little brother. I want him to have a good breakfast before we go. We’ve got a lot of work to do today.”

Joe blushed. “Ah, Pa. I’ll eat.” Although he preferred coffee and toast for breakfast, he would do justice to this meal to please his father. He didn’t want anything to go wrong on this trip. He wasn’t about to argue over breakfast. He reached for the stack of pancakes and put three on his plate. He then added some scrambled eggs and two slices of bacon. Ben nodded his approval knowing how much the boy was trying to please him. He also knew that it was best not to make a big deal of Joe’s compliance. When Hoss began to comment, Ben shot him a warning glance. Hoss nodded his understanding and began his breakfast in silence.

Joe managed to finish everything on his plate. He sat on the edge of his chair trying to be patient while Ben drank his coffee. Feeling Joe’s scrutiny, Ben took a final gulp before placing his coffee cup on the table. He turned to Joe. “Are you ready?”

Joe jumped up almost knocking over his chair. “Yes, sir. All ready.” He hurried to the door, stopping briefly to grab his hat, coat and gun belt before heading outside.

Adam and Hoss laughed as Ben got up to follow Joe. Adam commented, “You better get moving if you want to catch him. He sure is excited to be going with you, Pa.”

Hoss grinned. “You’d think that boy ain’t never been anywhere before.”

“He hasn’t been on a working trip with me. It’s a big step. I’m sure you two remember what it was like your first time,” Ben explained.

Adam patted his father’s back. “We remember, Pa. And we do understand. I just hope that Joe’s unbridled enthusiasm doesn’t get him into trouble like it usually does. He can be a handful.”

“Are you implying that I can’t handle your little brother?” Ben asked with a smile.

“Not at all, Pa, but it does take all three of us to—how should I put it—to ‘contain’ his zeal at times. It’s a team effort.”

“Don’t worry, Adam. He’ll be fine. Pa will make sure of it. He can handle Little Joe,” Hoss said.

Ben laughed, “Yes, I can handle the boy. Don’t worry. Joseph will do just fine. I’ll keep a close eye on him but we have to give him room to grow up.”

Adam smiled, “Good luck.”

“I won’t need luck. He’ll be fine. Let’s go.”

When they stepped outside, they were surprised to see Joe already sitting on Cochise and Buck ready to go. Ben turned to Adam and Hoss. “Take care of the place. We’ll be back in a week.” He shook their hands before mounting his horse.

“All right, Joseph. Let’s get going,” Ben said.

Joe answered, “Let’s go. See you two next week.”

Hoss waved. “You take care of Pa, Joe.”

“I will, Hoss. Don’t worry. Bye, Adam.”

Adam smiled, “Bye, Joe. Safe trip.”

With a final look behind, Ben and Joe disappeared around the barn. They were both looking forward to their time together.

*************************

Ben and Joe rode in comfortable silence content in each other’s company. As the sun rose higher in the sky, it brought warmth to the day. Early morning fog dissipated unveiling meadows carpeted in the yellow-green hue of early spring. A few flowers were already in bloom dotting the landscape with points of brilliant color. Bird songs drifted in the gentle breeze. The majestic peaks of the Sierras were still heavily blanketed in winter snow. As it slowly melted, it replenished the freezing waters of Lake Tahoe. The lake reflected the deep blue of the cloudless sky.

Joe had been lagging slightly behind his father taking in the beauty of the day. He took off his jacket and secured it behind him. The warmth of the sun felt good on his shoulders. He nudged Cochise forward to catch up with Ben. When they were riding side by side, Joe said, “Sure is a beautiful day, Pa.”

Ben nodded, “Sure is, son.”

“Thanks again for taking me with you. I won’t let you down, Pa.”

“I know you won’t, Joe.” Ben smiled at his son.

Joe returned his father’s smile, barely containing his enthusiasm. “How far will we go today?”

“We’ll stop at the line shack on Black Rock Ridge. We’ll spend the night there and get an early morning start for the high country. I’ve decided to check a stand of ponderosa pines that I haven’t seen in five years. It’s west of the ridge and at a higher elevation than we planned to go.”

Joe was surprised. “I thought we were heading east like you told Adam and Hoss.”

“I changed my mind. Besides, you haven’t been to that part of the Ponderosa and I’d like to show it to you.”

Joe beamed. “I can’t wait. I want to know every inch of this ranch.”

“Good. We’ll get an early start in the morning.” Ben paused before teasing, “That is, if I can get you up.”

Joe looked crestfallen at the criticism until he caught onto his father’s attempt to hide a smile behind a cough. “You don’t have to worry about me, Pa. I’ll be up before you. You can count on it.”

“Let’s pick up the pace a little, son. We have a long way to go today if we want to sleep in the comfort of that line shack instead of on the hard, cold ground. The days may be getting warmer but the temperature still drops at night.”

Joe took the lead. “Let’s go.” Ben caught up with his son. The two rode side-by-side enjoying their time together.

*************************

The line shack was well stocked with can goods providing Ben and Joe with a hot meal. After eating, they took their coffee outside and sat on a couple of wooden benches. The sky was as dark and brilliant as the night before. Joe spotted a shooting star and pointed it out to his father. “Look, Pa. There goes another one of those ‘disheveled wandering stars’ you told me about.”

“There have been quite a few of them up there tonight,” Ben smiled.

“I hope they’re enjoying their journey as much as I’m enjoying mine with you. Thanks again, Pa, for taking me.”

“You don’t have to keep thanking me, Joe. It really is my pleasure. You’re growing up. It’s your time.”

Joe nodded before quietly saying, “Growing up but not grown up yet. Sometimes, I don’t think I’ll ever grow up no matter how much I want to or how hard I try.”

Ben reached over placing his hand on Joe’s knee. “Don’t be in such a hurry. You don’t have to try, son. It’ll happen whether you want it to or not. You should enjoy the journey. Believe me, you’ll be all grown up before you know it, wishing you were sixteen again. Don’t wish the time away. Enjoy each day.” Ben ruffled Joe’s hair and winked. “Besides, I enjoy still having a boy.”

Joe cringed at the word. “I don’t like it much when Adam or Hoss call me that but I guess it’s not so bad when you do.”

Ben laughed, “You’ll always be my boy no matter how old you get. I’m in no hurry for you to grow up.”

“Even with all the trouble I get into?” Joe asked innocently.

“Yes, even with all the trouble you get into. It’s just a part of growing up. It’s part of finding your way.”

Joe added seriously, “Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever find my way.”

“You will, son. And I’ll be there to help and guide you every step of the way.” When Joe finally smiled, Ben added, “Just like the North Star. You’ll always know where I am and you’ll be able to find me whenever you need me. You’ll be able to find your way back home no matter where your journey in life takes you.”

Joe placed his hand on his father’s knee. “I know that, Pa.” He scanned the sky finally pointing up. “There it is. Polaris.”

Ben patted Joe’s back. “It’s getting late. We best get some sleep.”

“Okay, Pa.”

Ben stood, pulling Joe up with him. He held the door open and then followed his son to bed.

*************************

Joe woke before his father and quietly put a pot of coffee on the stove. The enticing aroma woke Ben. “Well, good morning, Joseph. I see you’re up and ready before me.”

Joe grinned, “I told you I would. I made coffee.” He handed his father a steaming cup. “Just the way you like it, except for the fresh cream.”

Ben accepted the coffee. “Thank you, son. We’ll eat some breakfast and be on our way. The ride will be a little rough today since we’ll be heading to higher ground.”

“I’m ready when you are.”

*************************

Ben and Joe reached their destination by late afternoon. The ride had been steep and rocky at points before reaching the thick stand of ponderosa pines. Tall, fragrant evergreens surrounded them. Their horses produced a crackling sound as they made their way through the pine needles on the ground. Ben looked around. “The trees have shot up during the last few years. I swear, they practically reach the sky.”

Joe smiled at his father’s apt description. “They do seem to touch the sky. It would be a shame to cut any of them down.”

“Now, Joseph, you know we always replace what we take.”

“I know, Pa, but this is such a beautiful, peaceful spot. It would be a shame to disturb it—unless we really had to.”

“Don’t worry, son. I think we’ll leave these trees as they are. Besides, they are a bit out of the way. It would take quite an effort to bring them down the mountain.”

Ben noticed that the sky was darkening. The sound of the wind rustling in the trees became louder as it began to gust, making the horses nervous. Thunder rumbled in the distance. The weather was quickly changing. Turning to Joe, Ben said, “It looks like a storm is coming our way quick. We won’t be able to get in front of it so we better find shelter here. We need to stay under the shortest trees.”

Joe looked around. “It’s hard to tell which ones are shortest from here.”

Ben pointed ahead. “You look over that way and I’ll look behind us. Stay in shouting distance.”

“Okay, Pa.” Joe slowly headed away from his father keeping him in sight as thunder crashed loudly around them. Flashes of light followed closely behind as the storm approached. Large hailstones began to fall. Cochise was becoming skittish, making Joe hold tightly to the reins in an attempt to control and calm him. Despite the thick tree coverage, hailstones struck them.

As Ben approached a clearing, Joe kept an eye on him. Ben saw that the trees were smaller on the other side. He called to Joe waving for his son to join him as he moved back towards the taller trees to escape the pelting hailstones. He wanted to cross the open space together. As he started to move back, he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He knew this was a dangerous sign. He moved quickly when a loud crash of thunder sounded. Buck reared up frightened by the noise and ensuing flash of lightening. Caught off guard, Ben fell back hitting the ground hard. The horse quickly ran off leaving him momentarily stunned.

Joe yelled, “Pa!” In a panic, he hurried towards Ben. Another strike quickly followed. The lightening bolt hit the tallest tree bordering the clearing. The simultaneous crash was deafening. The tree split. Ben was just getting to his feet when he saw the tree begin its descent to the earth. He tried to run but the tree was quickly on him, knocking him to the ground. He lost consciousness as he was pinned beneath the heavy limbs.

Cochise began to panic. Joe tried to steady his frightened horse. He jumped down and quickly ran towards Ben. Cochise reared up and began to run when another crash of thunder sounded loudly. Joe called for his father as he began to search the tangled branches of the fallen tree. He felt fear when there was no response. He heart beat loudly in his chest as tears filled his eyes.

“Where are you, Pa?” he called frantically.

Finally, Joe spotted his father’s arm reaching out from under broken branches. He climbed over to Ben, kneeling down beside him. “Pa…Pa…are you okay?” he asked anxiously. Ben made no reply. He was laying face down on the ground beneath two large branches. One was across his back while the other was lower down across the back of his legs. His forehead was bleeding.

Joe desperately felt his father’s neck for a pulse, relieved when his shaking hand finally found a strong one. He searched his pockets for a handkerchief without any success. He almost smiled to himself, thinking how many times his father admonished him for not having one on hand. He untied his father’s neckerchief and carefully removed it. He gently wiped the blood from his father’s face. The cut didn’t appear to be too deep.

Joe sat back on his haunches not knowing what to do. He soothingly stroked his father’s head as Ben often had done for him, hoping that it would provide the same comfort he always felt under the soft touch. He begged his father, “Please, Pa. You have to be all right. Please wake up. Please, Pa.” He paused before tearfully adding in a whisper, “Please don’t die. Please don’t leave me.” He tightly closed his eyes to fight back the tears. He had to be strong for his father.

“Joseph, I’m not going to die.” Ben’s voice was faint but clear, causing Joe to quickly open his eyes. He brushed away the tears from his face. “Pa, are you hurt bad?”

Ben grimaced. “My back and legs hurt some. My side, too. I have a bad headache.” Seeing the worry on his son’s face, he quickly added, “That’s a good thing. I can feel my legs. It would be worse if I couldn’t feel anything.”

Joe’s voice broke, “I…I know you’re right, Pa, but I don’t like seeing you in pain.”

“I’ll be fine, Joseph,” Ben tried to reassure his distressed son. He reached for Joe’s hand and held it tightly.

Joe held on, not wishing to sever the physical connection. “I’ve got to get this tree off you, Pa.”

“Joe, the branches are too big and heavy. You won’t be able to lift them.”

Reluctantly, Joe released his father’s hand. He began to pull the large limb resting on his father’s back. It was still attached to the trunk making it impossible to budge. He moved to the branch that was across his father’s legs and tried to lift it. The results were the same. He broke into a sweat as he continued in vain to try to free his father.

The hailstones stopped as abruptly as they began. The storm was quickly moving away. Thunder continued to rumble in the distance as the sky brightened. Thick clouds still blocked the sun but the storm had passed.

Joe continued to struggle with the branches. Ben finally said, “Stop, Joe. Please, stop. You can’t do it.”

Exhausted and frustrated, Joe sank to the ground beside his father. Defeat was written on his drawn face. He was barely able to look at his father as he whispered, “I’m sorry, Pa.”

Ben saw that Joe was fighting to hold back tears. “It’s all right, son.”

“No it’s not, Pa. I’m not strong enough to get this tree off you. And I don’t even have a rope to help. Buck ran off when he threw you and I let Cochise get away from me. They could’ve helped.”

“The storm frightened them off. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Maybe I should go look for them,” Joe said hopefully.

“You can have a look around, son, but they’re probably half way back to the barn by now—which is good. Adam and Hoss will find them and know we need help.”

“But they won’t know where to find us, Pa. You told them we were heading in the opposite direction. They don’t know we’re up here. And if it rained below, Hoss won’t be able to track us.”

Ben groaned as he felt a sharp pain in his side. Joe anxiously asked, “Are you okay?”

Ben tried to hide his pain. “I’m fine. It was just a twinge.” He hoped he was convincing but doubted that he was fooling Joe. He prayed that his injuries weren’t serious. He had to be all right for Joe’s sake.

Joe fought to maintain control as the gravity of the situation set in. A few tears escaped despite his best efforts. He brushed them away with the palms of his hands. “I bet you’re sorry now that you took me along.”

“Why, Joe?” Ben asked gently.

Joe’s voice broke as he spoke, “Because…because I’m not as strong as Hoss or as smart as Adam. Hoss could lift this tree and Adam could figure out a way to get it off you. I can’t do either. I’m useless, ” Joe concluded miserably. He looked off into the distance unable to meet the disappointment he wrongly perceived in his father’s eyes.

“Joseph, I want you to listen to me carefully.” When Joe didn’t respond, Ben gently placed his hand on his son’s knee. “Joseph, look at me, please.”

Joe slowly looked into his father’s eyes. “Now listen to me good, son. I am not disappointed that you’re here with me. This isn’t your fault. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine. I should have realized the danger sooner. You didn’t do anything wrong. Believe me, even Hoss couldn’t lift this tree. And Adam couldn’t do anything under these circumstances. If either one of them were here, the only thing they could do is go for help. And that’s exactly what I want you to do.”

“I won’t leave you, Pa,” Joe said with conviction.

“Joseph…Joe, you have to go for help. It’s the only way.”

“I don’t want to leave you alone.” Ben heard the catch in his son’s voice and knew how difficult this was for him. He took Joe’s hand in his.

“Joe, we have no other choice. If we’re lucky, the horses will make it home and alert your brothers that we need their help. They’ll head towards the line shack but after that, they’ll head in the wrong direction. You’re right. They don’t know we’re here. You’ve got to get to the line shack before them. You have to do this for me.”

“You know I’d do anything for you, Pa. Will you be okay by yourself? We don’t even have a canteen.”

“I’ll be fine, Joseph.” Ben tried to keep his voice calm in an attempt to belie his fears. He didn’t want to send Joe off by himself but they didn’t have any other options. If they waited for help, he was afraid that he would die in front of his son and he wouldn’t allow that to happen. He wouldn’t do that to Joe. Whatever happened to him, at least Joe would have his brothers with him when he returned.

Joe took off his jacket and folded it. He placed it under his father’s head trying to make him comfortable. Ben objected, “It’ll be cold tonight. You’ll need your jacket to keep warm.”

“I’ll be just fine. I’ll be moving so I won’t have a chance to get cold.” Joe stood as he added, “I’ll be right back, Pa. I need to get a few things before I go.”

“A few thing?” Ben questioned.

Joe repeated, “I’ll be right back.” Ben wondered what his son was up to but Joe hurried off before he could question him further.

An hour later, Ben was beginning to worry. Joe finally returned, dragging some full pine branches behind him. He placed them next to Ben saying, “I’ll be right back, Pa.” Ben didn’t have a chance to say anything before Joe was gone again. He returned a few minutes later carrying an armful of birch leaves. After dropping them next to his father, he ran off again shouting, “One more time, Pa.”

Ben waited patiently for his son to return and explain what he was doing. He was anxious for Joe to be on his way while he still had a couple of hours of daylight left. Finally, he heard Joe approaching. He was carefully carrying something that looked like a bowl in his hands. His hat was on top of it.

Ben asked, “What have you got there?”

Joe sat down beside Ben giving him a shy smile. “Water,” he answered with pride.

Surprised, Ben asked, “Water? How did you manage that?”

“Hoss taught me how to make a bowl from birch bark when I was little. I had to go down the mountain to find some birch trees. At least I still had my pocketknife on me. It took me a little while to cut a big enough piece but after that, it was easy.” Joe smiled before continuing. “I had to rip the bottom of my shirt to tie it. I hope it doesn’t leak too much but at least you’ll have water. Do you want some now?”

“Yes, thank you.” Joe held the bowl to his father’s lips. After a few sips, Ben said, “That’s enough. Thanks, Joe. What else did you bring?”

Joe showed Ben his hat. It was full of berries. “I found these. It isn’t much but it’s better than nothing if you get hungry.”

Ben smiled at Joe’s thoughtfulness. “Thanks, Joseph.”

“I brought some pine branches to make a shelter for you. And I gathered some birch leaves to make a blanket. They should help keep you warm.” Joe reached over to his father’s holster and pulled out his gun. He placed it in Ben’s hand. “Just in case, Pa.”

Ben gave his son a small smile. “Real good thinking, Joseph. I’m proud of you. You’re taking good care of me. I should be nice and warm.”

Joe beamed at his father’s praise giving him confidence and courage to do what he had to do. He quickly went to work making the blanket of leaves and building the shelter over his father. When he was satisfied that he had done all that he could to make Ben comfortable, he placed the water within his father’s reach.

Ben squeezed Joe’s hand. “You’ve done everything you possibly can, Joseph. I’m as comfortable as I’m going to be and I’m safe. Thank you. Now, it’s time for you to go while you still have some sunlight to get down the mountain.”

Joe held his father’s hand tightly. “I don’t want to leave you, Pa.” Once again, he found himself fighting tears that he didn’t want to show his father.

“I know, son, but it’s the only way,” Ben said with determination.

“Okay, Pa.”

Ben saw the doubt and fear in his son’s face. “You’ll be fine. Just head down the mountain and then go east back to the line shack.”

“It’ll be dark soon,” Joe said uncertainly.

Ben tried to ease Joe’s fears. “Just look to the sky, Joseph. Find the North Star and you’ll know which way to go. You know how to do that. Let the sky be your map. You’ll be just fine. I have confidence—complete confidence—in you. You can do this.”

Joe nodded. “I can do this. I can do this for you, Pa. I love you.” He bent down and kissed his father’s head. “I’ll be back soon with Adam and Hoss.”

“I love you, too, Joseph. Now, get going. Godspeed.”

Joe slowly stood. With one last look behind, he hurried off to get help. Ben watched him until he disappeared into the trees praying for his safe passage and return.

*************************

Joe kept turning around to see his father. He memorized every tree and rock as he went so he would be able to quickly find his way back. When he could no longer see Ben, he returned to the point where he reappeared. He broke a large branch on the nearest tree, pointing it back towards Ben. With one final look, he urgently began his journey. He stopped at close intervals to similarly mark his trail. He wanted to leave a clear path back to his father.

As the day began to fade to twilight, Joe hurried down the side of the mountain. He wanted to put as much distance as he could behind him before completely losing the light. The sun was quickly disappearing behind the mountain. The sky turned to soft shades of pink in front of him only hinting at the brilliant colors behind him. His father was counting on him. He planned on walking all night to get to the line shack by afternoon. If the horses did go back to the ranch house, he hoped his brothers would get there by evening.

As it became darker and more difficult to see where he was going, Joe marked the way more often. He moved steadily, finally making it to the bottom of the mountain. After a while, he noticed that the night was even darker than it had been. He couldn’t see any landmarks and was beginning to get confused. He stopped to rest and get his bearings. He remembered what his father said about following the North Star. When he looked up, he saw nothing but darkness. He began to feel panic as he searched the sky for stars. Heavy cloud coverage made it impossible to see anything.

Joe felt his heart beating fast in his chest. He began to breathe in short gasps. Tears filled his eyes. He didn’t know which way to go. He slowly sat down on the ground, pulling his knees up and wrapping his arms around them. He had to keep going but he didn’t know which way. He would make matters worse if he went in the wrong direction. He was surrounded by trees and couldn’t even locate the mountains. He felt fear—more for his father than himself. Putting his head down on his knees, he gave in to his despair. He wasn’t able to stop the tears, believing that he had let his father down.

Joe thought about his father trapped under the tree, counting on him. He had to pull himself together. He looked up wiping the tears away with the sleeve of his shirt. He spoke out loud, “Don’t worry, Pa. I’ll get help. You can count on me. I’m not going to sit here crying all night. I’m not a little kid anymore. I can do this.”

As Joe looked up into the darkness, there was a break in the clouds. One point of light appeared followed by another and another. He quickly stood and searched the sky, trying to find the North Star. Soon the clouds cleared enough for him to find it among the other stars. “There you are to lead the way home, just like my Pa,” he whispered. He was able to get his bearings. With renewed determination, he marked his position and started walking towards the line shack and, hopefully, his brothers. He kept looking up towards the heavens whenever he felt tired or discouraged. The North Star gave him the strength to keep going.

************************

Ben was greatly relieved when he saw the stars reappear. His worry for Joe had intensified when the heavy cloud coverage made it impossible to see the stars. He knew Joe would need them to keep him on the right course. More than that, he knew the stars would be a comfort for Joe. At least, he hoped so. He remembered the conversation about the stars that he had had with his sons two nights ago. He hoped that he hadn’t hurt Joe’s feelings when he compared him to a dishelved wandering star. He was proud of the way the boy had taken care of him before he left. Thanks to Joe he was warm and protected from the elements. He had water to drink. The boy had done well remembering the survival skills he had been taught. Once again, Ben prayed that he would survive for Joe’s sake. He didn’t want his son to feel any responsibility for what had happened to him.

*************************

Adam was enjoying a few extra minutes in the comfort of his bed as a cool breeze lifted the curtains on his bedroom window. He was especially fond of these early spring mornings. There was a freshness and feeling of renewal. As he mentally planned his day, he heard horses enter the yard. Surprised, he quickly got out of bed. He didn’t expect visitors so early in the morning. He slipped into his pants and boots and then hurried out of his room, knocking on his brother’s door as he passed. “Hey, Hoss, get up. We’ve got company.”

Hoss opened the door fully dressed. “I was just heading down, Adam. Who could be calling so early?”

“I don’t know,” Adam said as they headed down the stairs.

Adam opened the front door and stepped outside, followed closely by Hoss. They were surprised to see Buck and Cochise alone in the yard. Hoss called, “Hey, Pa. Joe. Where are you?”

“I’ll check the barn, Hoss.” When Adam returned a moment later he said, “No sign of them.”

“Where could they be?”

The concern was obvious on Adam’s face. “I don’t know, Hoss, but they must be in some kind of trouble if their horses are here without them.”

“Do you think they might be hurt?” Hoss asked anxiously.

Adam tried to reassure his brother. “Not necessarily. Those were some severe thunderstorms that went through here yesterday afternoon. They probably had to find shelter. It’s possible that the horses broke loose during the storm.”

Hoss examined the horses carefully. “Well, I don’t see anything amiss other than Pa and Joe ain’t with them.”

Adam nodded, “They may be fine but they’ll need our help to get home. We better grab a bite to eat and get going. We’ll saddle two fresh horses for them.”

“I think we ought to bring a wagon as well just in case one or both of them are hurt in any way. We don’t want to waste time getting what we need.”

“Good idea,” Adam said. “We’ll make sure we have everything we need for an emergency. Let’s get going. They planned on spending their first night in the line shack at Black Rock Ridge. From there they were heading to the stand of firs we marked last fall. They might have taken shelter from the storm in the line shack.”

Hoss replied, “It sounds like a good plan. I sure do hope they’re okay.”

Adam nodded, “You and me both.”

*************************

The first light of dawn appeared low on the eastern horizon. Joe was relieved that he was heading in the right direction. The stars began to fade away as the sky lightened. He kept his eye on the North Star until it disappeared. He whispered his gratitude, “Thanks for showing me the way.”

Joe was exhausted but he still had a long way to go. He decided against resting, worried that he wouldn’t be able to get going once he stopped. He found himself praying that the horses had made it home. If Adam and Hoss weren’t looking for them, he would have to walk back to the house. He didn’t know if his father could survive that long trapped on the mountain. He wasn’t sure how badly Ben was hurt. He had to get back as soon as possible. He started walking at a quicker pace. “Please, Adam, Hoss, please be there.”

*************************

Adam and Hoss arrived at the line shack by early afternoon. Hoss pulled the wagon to a halt. “It doesn’t look like they’re here.”

“Let’s have a look inside,” Adam suggested.

Hoss followed his brother into the small cabin. He noticed ashes in the stove. “It looks like they were here. Probably spent the first night and then went on to check out those firs.”

Adam agreed, “We better get going.”

Joe was relieved when he saw the line shack a quarter of a mile ahead. He was beyond total exhaustion, moving on sheer willpower. He hadn’t stopped all day. As the front of the cabin came into view, he saw Hoss climbing into the wagon. Adam was sitting on Sport. Joe smiled broadly and waved to them. Adam turned his horse away. Hoss followed in the wagon. They hadn’t seen Joe. In a panic, Joe realized that they were leaving.

“Adam! Hoss! Over here!” Joe yelled, frantically waving his arms but his brothers continued to ride away. When he realized that they couldn’t hear him, he took out his gun and fired into the air three times in succession.

Adam and Hoss abruptly stopped. “Where did it come from?” Hoss asked.

Adam spotted Joe. “Over there. It’s Joe.”

The two brothers turned around, hurrying towards Joe. Joe stood still waiting for them. He couldn’t go another step. He slowly sank to his knees. Hoss jumped from the wagon and ran over to his little brother. He grabbed Joe’s shoulders as he anxiously asked, “Little Joe, are you all right, boy?”

Joe nodded as Adam came to his side. “Where’s Pa, Joe?”

All the emotions that Joe was carefully holding inside were finally released. The tears began to fall. “Adam…Pa…Pa’s hurt real bad. We have to get back to him.”

Hoss put his arm around Joe. “Calm down, Joe. Calm down.”

Adam interjected, “Tell us what happened to Pa.”

Joe tried desperately to control his emotions. “Light…lightning struck a tree. It…it fell on Pa. He’s trapped under it. We have to hurry back to him. He needs us, Adam.”

Adam kept his voice quiet to calm his brother. “Okay, Joe. How bad is he hurt?”

Joe wiped his face with the palms of his hands. “I...I…don’t know for sure. He said he was okay but I think maybe he was just saying that for me. I know he was in pain. One of the branches is across his back and one is over his legs. I tried, Adam, I tried real hard but I couldn’t get it off him.”

Hoss squeezed Joe’s shoulder. “I’m sure you did all you could. Don’t worry, we’ll get him out.”

Adam asked, “When did this happen?”

“Yesterday afternoon.”

“We better get going. It’s a long ride up to those firs,” Hoss said.

Joe shook his head. “No, Hoss. We didn’t go there. We went west to a stand of ponderosa pines in the mountains that Pa wanted to show me.”

“I think I know where that is. I haven’t been there in years. You know the place, don’t you, Hoss?” Adam asked.

Hoss nodded, “Yeah, I know where it is. It’s a good thing you saw us, Joe. We were heading in the opposite direction. How did you get back here so soon?”

“I walked all night,” Joe said simply.

“You must be tuckered out, little brother.”

“I’m fine,” Joe insisted. “We need to get back to Pa. He needs us.” Joe stood, looking at the horses. “Where’s Cochise? Did he make it home?”

Adam answered, “Cochise and Buck came into the yard early this morning. That’s why we came looking for you. We didn’t bring them because they needed to rest. Other than being tired, they’re fine.”

Joe looked at the two horses his brothers brought along. “I’ll ride Smoke.”

“No, you won’t, little brother,” Hoss said. “You get in the back of the wagon and take a rest.”

Joe objected, “No, I’ve got to help Pa.”

Adam soothed, “You will, Joe. We have a long ride before we have to leave the wagon and take the horses up the mountain. You rest until we get to that point. You won’t be any help to Pa if you’re dead on your feet. We’ll need you when we get there. Now climb in the back of the wagon and get a couple of hours sleep. I’m going back to the line shack to get a few things and then we’ll go.”

“What do you have to get?” Joe asked.

“Some axes and extra rope. There might even be a pulley there. I’m not sure what it will take to move that tree but if all else fails, we can cut the limbs.”

Joe smiled at his older brother. “Good idea, brother.” Adam’s plan lifted Joe’s spirit. He finally saw hope. He said, “Adam, I left a trail. I broke branches and pointed them back towards Pa.”

Hoss grinned. “That was good thinking, little brother. Now, climb in back and lay down for a bit.”

“Okay, but if you have any trouble following the trail, wake me up,” Joe insisted.

“Okay, Little Joe, but just remember who thought you how to track.”

Joe climbed into the back of the wagon and made himself comfortable on the blankets that his brothers had brought along. Adam gathered the extra supplies and placed them in the wagon. He asked Joe, “All ready, buddy?” He smiled when he realized that Joe had already fallen asleep.

Hoss looked behind. “He’s tuckered out.”

“He needs the rest,” Adam agreed. “Now, let’s get Pa.”

**************************

Hoss guided the wagon as far as he could into the foothills before the way became too dense and steep for passage. He called ahead to Adam, “Hold up. This wagon ain’t going no further. We’ll have to take the horses the rest of the way.”

Adam pulled up to the wagon. “Time to wake Joe.”

“I wish we could let him sleep.”

“He’d never forgive us.”

“You’re right, Adam.” Hoss gently shook Joe’s shoulder. “Come on, Shortshanks. It’s time to wake up.”

Joe sat up quickly, confused until he realized where he was. “Pa?” he asked anxiously.

Adam reassured him, “It’s time to take the horses the rest of the way.” He took blankets and the extra supplies out of the wagon. Joe mounted Smoke while Hoss took the reins of the other horse for their father. Hoss turned to Joe. “Okay, little brother. Lead the way.”

They carefully made their way up the mountain. After an hour, they finally reached the clearing where the tree had fallen. Joe jumped off Smoke and hurried over to Ben. When he pulled away a protective branch, he saw his father’s eyes were closed. In a panic, he stoked Ben’s forehead. “Pa, please wake up.”

Ben slowly opened his eyes. He smiled when he saw Joe. “I’m so happy to see you, son.”

“Are you all right, Pa?” Joe asked anxiously.

“Yes, son. I was only sleeping.”

Adam leaned in. “Don’t worry, Pa. Just relax and we’ll have you out of there in no time.”

Hoss added, “You just sit tight and let us do all the work.”

Ben smiled at his middle son. “I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

“I guess not,” Hoss grinned, pleased to hear his father joking.

Adam noticed the shelter and water basket. “What’s all this?”

“Joe made a shelter. It kept me warm,” Ben said proudly.

Hoss smiled, “I see. Did you make this basket, too?”

“You taught me how, Hoss. Remember?” Joe asked.

“I sure do. You did a good job.”

Joe smiled with pride. The praise of his father and brothers meant the world to him.

“Let’s get to it,” Adam directed.

The three brothers worked quickly to free their father. They cut branches and finally pulled off the last limb with the help of ropes and the horses. Hoss gently pulled his father to safety before they let the tree fall back. Ben groaned as Hoss gently eased him to the ground. Hoss said, “Sorry, Pa. Does it hurt much?”

“Not too bad,” Ben tried to smile. “My back hurts where the tree hit but I can move everything. It’s not too bad. I might have a couple of cracked ribs.”

Adam and Joe joined their father. When Joe saw the grimace on Ben’s face, his eyes filled with tears. Ben reassured him. “I hurt some but I’ll be just fine. Don’t worry. Thank you, son. Thanks for bringing your brothers back so quickly. And thanks for making my wait as comfortable as possible.”

Joe smiled, “You’re welcome, Pa. We need to get you home now. There’s a wagon down below to take you in comfort.”

“You boys thought of everything.” Ben struggled to sit up. “I’m ready.”

Adam asked with concern, “Do you think you can ride?”

“I can manage if we take it slow.”

“You can ride double with one of us,” Adam suggested.

“I think I can ride on my own.”

Hoss nodded, “All right, Pa. I’ll help you mount but if you get tired, you just let me know and I’ll help. It’s about an hour’s ride down.”

Ben slowly got to his feet with help from Hoss. After mounting, he took a minute to get settled in the saddle. The pain eased with movement, encouraging him. The four horses slowly made their way down the mountain. Although he felt that his injuries weren’t severe, he was relieved to see the wagon waiting for them. Hoss and Adam helped him climb into the back where he laid comfortably on the blankets. He noticed Joe looking longingly at the back of the wagon. The boy was totally exhausted. Now that the crisis was under control, he didn’t have any adrenaline left. He was crashing fast. Ben patted the blankets beside him. “Come on, Joseph. There’s room for two.”

Joe tried to maintain a strong image. “I’m fine, Pa. I can ride.”

Ben shook his head. “You’re dead on your feet. I want you to climb back here and get some sleep.” When Joe didn’t move, Ben added sternly, “That’s an order, young man.”

“Okay, Pa. You don’t have to tell me twice, well maybe twice but not three times,” Joe grinned. He climbed into the wagon and settled beside his father. Ben put his arm around Joe’s shoulder as Joe rested his head on his father’s chest. Ben kissed the top of his son’s head.

“This is better than riding, isn’t it?” He smiled when Joe didn’t answer, realizing that the boy was already fast asleep.

Adam and Hoss smiled at the scene in the back of the wagon. Adam said to Hoss, “We better get these two home.”

Hoss smiled, “Where they belong. Where we all belong.”

*************************

Adam and Hoss had gotten their father and brother home by midday. Doc Martin examined and treated Ben for his injuries. He was battered and bruised but, thankfully, nothing was broken. With rest, he would fully recover. Hop Sing made sure that everyone, except Joe, had a hot meal before sending them off to sleep. Joe slept through their return home. Hoss settled him in his bed, deciding to let him wake on his own.

Later that evening, Adam gave up trying to sleep. When he went out to the porch, he saw Hoss sitting at the table gazing up at the sky. “It’s another beautiful night, isn’t it?” Adam asked as he sat in the rocking chair.

“That it is. Spring is here.”

“Did you get any sleep?” Adam asked.

“Not much. I guess I’m too wound up.”

“Yeah, me, too. I’ve been reading. I thought I could use some fresh air. It’s been quite the couple of days.”

Hoss agreed, “Thank God it turned out all right. We came mighty close to losing Pa. That tree could’ve killed him. I hate to think what that would’ve done to Little Joe.”

“You don’t have to. Pa’s fine.”

“Thanks to Joe.”

Adam nodded, “The kid done good.”

The front door opened and Ben stepped outside. “Good evening, boys.”

Hoss grinned, “Hey, Pa. What are you doing out of bed? I thought the doc told you to rest.”

“Paul said to rest but he didn’t say to stay in bed. I can take it easy out here as well as inside. Besides, I needed to stretch.”

Adam got up out of the rocking chair. “Here you go, Pa. Sit here.”

Ben gratefully sat down in the vacated chair. “Thanks, son.”

Hoss asked, “Are you warm enough? Do you want anything?”

“No, thanks.”

“Is Joe still sleeping?”

“Yes, I looked in on him before I came down.”

Hoss laughed, “He’s been sleeping for hours. He must be really beat.”

“He hasn’t slept in two days and he did cover a lot of ground,” Ben said proudly.

“He sure did.”

Ben contently sat back in the rocker. He was grateful to be back home in the company of his sons. When he was alone on the mountain, he had had his doubts. His biggest fear had been that his sons would return and find him dead. He didn’t want Joe to carry that guilt with him even though the boy wasn’t responsible.

*************************

Joe woke with a start and quickly sat up in bed. He was disoriented in the darkness of his room. It took him a moment to realize that he was in his own bed. He was surprised to see that he was wearing his nightshirt. As his mind cleared, he remembered what had happened on the mountain. He had to see his father. The hall light abruptly entered his room when he opened the door. He shielded his eyes momentarily as they adjusted to the brightness. He hurried down the hall to his father’s bedroom door. He knocked gently. “Pa, can I come in?”

When no one answered, Joe slowly opened the door to peak inside. He didn’t want to disturb his father if he was sleeping. The lamp was burning low on the night table but the bed was empty with the covers thrown back. Joe looked around, feeling panic when he realized that the room was empty. He hurried to the stairs, calling to his father as he descended. When he didn’t see anyone, his heart began to pound loudly. It was almost ten on the grandfather clock. Where was everyone? He called loudly, “Pa.”

Ben heard the edge in Joe’s voice as he called his name. He quickly responded, “Out here, Joseph.”

Relieved, Joe opened the front door to find Ben in the rocking chair and his brothers sitting at the table. “I got a little scared when I couldn’t find you, Pa,” he admitted as his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

Ben was touched. “I’m sorry, son. You were sleeping so soundly when I checked on you. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“How are you feeling?” Joe asked with concern. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

“I’m fine, Joseph. Just a little sore which is to be expected. Paul says nothing is broken.” Seeing the worry on his son’s face, he added, “Really, I’m fine. I had to get out of bed. I’ve been lying down too much over the last couple of day. Wouldn’t you agree?”

When he saw his father smile, Joe relaxed. “I guess it must feel good to be up after being trapped for so long.” He pulled a chair alongside the rocker and sat down. He needed to be close to his father. Hoss and Adam smiled both deciding to keep any teasing comments to themselves.

Joe looked up into the night sky at the North Star. He located Sirius in the Orion constellation and wished he could see Alpha Centauri. He imagined it shining brightly in the southern sky. When he noticed a shooting star traveling across the horizon, he said, “Look, Pa. There goes another one of those disheveled wandering stars. All our stars are out tonight even though we can’t see Hoss’s.”

Ben returned the smile. “Maybe we can’t see it, but we know it’s there and that’s the important thing. And, Joseph, we can’t see your star tonight, either.”

“Yes we can, Pa. I’ve seen a couple of shooting stars already.” Pointing to the right, Joe added, “Look, there goes another one.”

Ben nodded, “Yes, Joseph, I’ve seen the shooting stars but we still can’t see your star.”

Puzzled, Joe looked at Ben for an explanation. “I don’t understand, Pa.”

“Joseph, shooting stars are still searching. You’ve more than earned your permanent place—no more disheveled wandering star for you after these last few days.”

Joe was doubtful that he had done anything extraordinary. In fact, he wasn’t sure that he had done well at all. He felt that he had failed his father. “You’re not sorry that you didn’t have either Adam or Hoss with you? They could’ve helped you better than I did.”

Hoss jumped in, “No way, Joe.”

“You’re much stronger than me, Hoss. You could’ve gotten that tree off Pa without going for help,” Joe said sadly.

“I may be stronger, little brother, but nobody is that strong. There’s no way I could’ve lifted that tree on my own. I would’ve gone for help just like you.”

Joe wasn’t convinced. “Adam could’ve figured something out to help Pa.”

“Yeah, Joe, I would’ve had all kinds of ideas,” Adam agreed, “but without the horses and any tools, I couldn’t have moved that tree alone. I would’ve had to go for help just like you. So since neither Hoss nor I could’ve done anything on our own, we would’ve gone for help—which is exactly what you did.”

Adam paused when Joe still looked dubious. “And neither one of us could’ve done that any better than you. It was lucky you were the one with Pa.”

Hoss agreed, “Yeah, Joe, you fixed up Pa real cozy before you left. I couldn’t have done any better. And I never would’ve made it down the mountain and back to the line shack so quickly. If you hadn’t walked all night, Adam and me would’ve been far away in the opposite direction by the time you got there. And Pa wouldn’t have gotten help as soon as he did.”

Adam supported Hoss’s assessment. “I couldn’t have walked that far, that fast. Neither one of us have your energy and stamina.”

“And stubbornness,” Hoss added teasingly.

Joe asked, “You really think so?”

“I know so,” Adam said. “You done good, kid. I’m proud of you.”

“Me too,” Hoss added.

Joe turned away from his brothers and father to hide the tears that were gathering in his eyes. He didn’t want to act like a little kid. Both brothers pretended not to notice, knowing that it would embarrass Joe. Besides, they felt moisture in their eyes as well.

Ben reached over wrapping his arm around Joe’s shoulder. “Your brothers are right, Joseph. I’m very lucky that you were with me. And, I’m very proud of you, too.”

Joe quickly brushed a tear away and mumbled, “Thanks.” He was too choked up to say anything else. After a few moments of silence, he noticed another shooting star dancing across the horizon. He pointed to it. “Look, there goes another one—just like me.”

“I’ve already told you, son, you’ve earned a permanent star. You’re every bit the man that Adam and Hoss are. And I have just the star in mind for you.”

Joe couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This was the first time his father had referred to him as a man instead of a boy or “young man.” He was filled with pride as he asked, “You really mean it, Pa?”

“Yes, of course I do,” Ben smiled warmly.

Joe looked up into the night sky. “Which star am I, Pa?” he asked excitedly.

“You can’t see it in the sky tonight.”

Disappointed, Joe said, “Oh, it’s like Hoss’s star. You can’t see it in the northern sky.”

Ben grinned, “No, Joseph. You can’t see your star in the southern or northern skies. In fact, you can’t see it at all at night.”

Confused, Joe said, “I don’t understand, Pa.”

“You can only see your star during the day.”

“But, Pa, you can’t see any star during the day except the few that come out early in the evening or are still visible early in the morning.”

Adam smiled, understanding where his father was heading. “Perfect, Pa.”

Still confused, Joe asked, “What?”

Ben squeezed his son’s shoulder. “There’s one star that only shines during the day. Our star.”

Joe smiled as realization finally set in. “The sun?” he asked.

“Yes, the sun,” Ben nodded. “It’s our star—the one we know most about. It’s life giving and full of uncontrollable energy. It brings light and warmth to our world. It’s just like you, Joe. My world would be dark and cold without you.”

“He’s a hot one,” Hoss laughed.

Joe leaned over to carefully hug his father so he wouldn’t hurt him. He was overwhelmed with emotion. Not knowing what else to say, he whispered, “I love you, Pa.”

“I love you too, son.”

Joe leaned into his father’s embrace. Ben looked at his sons and then up to the heavens giving a silent prayer of thanks. Countless points of light looked back down as they sat in comfortable silence, each one grateful for the magnificent night sky and the gift of family.

The End

*Thanks to William Butler Yates for the image of “disheveled wandering stars” that stayed in my mind all these years and inspired this story. (From the poem “Who Goes With Fergus?”—Yates is magic.)

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