BIG RED

Adam and Hoss stood in their front yard. “What is it?” Adam asked.

Hoss looked at him strangely. “What do you think it is Adam? It’s a dog,” he replied pointing to the dog.

“Yeah but what is it?” Adam asked again.

“Adam it’s a dog,” Hoss replied.

“Yeah but what is it?” Adam asked again walking around the dog. He stopped at the front of the dog lifting his muffle up. “Hoss you sure it’s a dog?” he asked.

“Of course it’s a dog,” Hoss replied.

“That’s the ugliest dog I’ve ever seen in my life,” Adam said.

“I think he’s rather good looking myself,” Hoss said.

“Yeah you would,” Adam said. “Hoss what the heck are you going to do with that, that, that dog?” Adam asked.

“I’m going to give Big Red to Pa for his birthday tonight,” Hoss answered.

“You’re what?” Adam asked. He put his arm around his brother’s shoulder and said, “Now Hoss think for one moment here. Do you see any dogs on The Ponderosa, huh?”

“No,” Hoss replied.

“Do you know why you don’t see any dogs on The Ponderosa?” Adam asked.

“No,” Hoss replied.

“Because Pa doesn’t like dogs that’s why. Dogs don’t like Pa either,” Adam said. He went to take another look at the dog from the front. “And there’s so much not to like about this dog,” he said.

“What’s not to like?” Hoss asked.

“Oh Hoss come on. The dog is, he’s, well he’s, he’s funny looking,” Adam said bring his right arm up towards the dog.

“What do you mean funny looking?” Hoss asked.

“Hoss he has real long red hair and red spots on his legs and those are his good points. Hoss he’s, he’s, he’s ugly,” Adam said.

“You’re just jealous because you didn’t find Big Red yourself for Pa,” Hoss said with his nose in the air.

“Yeah that’s right Hoss I’m jealous,” Adam said then rolling his eyes. “Hoss I know you have a big heart and you, well you, well you just have a big heart,” Adam said.

“Thanks,” Hoss replied.

“Yeah well whatever. Hoss this dog should be walking around with a burlap sack over it’s head it‘s so ugly,” Adam said.

“Excuse me Adam but me and Big Red are going up to my room while we await Pa’s party tonight,” Hoss said.

“Up to your room? Hoss think for a moment. What if Big Red has to relieve himself? How are you going to sneak him downstairs and not have Pa see him?” Adam asked.

“I won’t need to. I’ll just take him in your bedroom, “ Hoss replied as he walked towards the front door. Adam turned his head. “Hoss, Hoss you wouldn’t would you?” he asked running after Hoss and Big Red.

Later that evening the four men sat down to supper. “I’m sure glad you boys listened to me for once and didn’t throw me a birthday party this year. I’m just not in the mood for one right now,” Ben said.

“Yeah how could we not know you didn’t want one Pa? You told us everyday for a month now,” Adam replied.

“I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want a party Pa. Is it because you’re old?” Joe asked wishing he hadn’t. Ben Cartwright sat straight in his chair. “For your information young man I am not old. I am, I am, what would say Adam?” Ben asked.

“Well-seasoned,” Adam replied.

Ben shook his head. “Well-seasoned. Sometimes I wonder if it was worth all the troubles to have you three boys. Hoss what would you refer to me as?” Ben asked.

Hoss raised the right side of his mouth. “Well Pa I wouldn’t say you’re old. I wouldn’t you’re young either. I’d say, I’d say you’re, well you’re, well what’s that word I’m looking for? Anyway you’re older then me,” he said.

“I’m older then you. Do you three really think I’m old?” Ben asked. “If I’m old then you must think John Meyers is ancient,” he said.

“Ancient. That’s the words I was looking for,” Hoss replied.

“Ancient Hoss? You think I’m ancient? Why did I bother?” Ben asked shaking his head. “Why couldn’t I have had daughters? Daughter love and respect their fathers,” he said.

“Oh we love and respect you Pa,” Adam said.

“You wouldn’t know it,” Ben replied loudly.

“Yeah we do,” Joe said.

“Well I’m glad to hear it,” Ben said.

“Frankly Pa I think you look younger each year,” Joe said. Hoss and Adam looked at Joe.

“I look younger each year Joseph?” Ben asked smiling.

“Yeah, yeah boy you sure do Pa. You not only look younger but you act younger too,” Joe said. Hoss and Adam rolled their eyes.

Smiling Ben asked, “Adam do you agree I look younger and act younger every year?”

Adam bit his bottom lip. He looked up. “Well Pa, well. Can I lie?” he asked.

“Can you lie? No you cannot lie. Do you think I look younger and act younger each year or not?” Ben asked loudly.

“Well I think it all depends,” Adam replied.

“On what?” Ben asked.

“On whether my answer is going to let me stay home or will have me off on the cattle drive,” Adam replied before drinking the rest of his wine down in one big gulp.

“Joseph is that why you said what you said because you think because you flatter me you can stay home during the cattle drive?” Ben asked. Joe made a face. “Well Pa you do you look young for a man your age,” he replied.

“Look young for a man my age. You’d all think I came over on the Mayflower the way you’re talking,” Ben said walking over to his leather chair. He pulled out his pipe and lit it.

“Boy we sure did it, didn’t we?” Hoss asked.

“Well it’s his fault. He taught us not to lie. At least some of us,” Adam said looking at Joe.

“Hey I have a new girlfriend and I’d rather spend my time with her then with cattle for a couple of weeks,” he replied.

“Speaking of critters Hoss, where’s Pa’s gift?” Adam asked.

“Oh lordy I forgot about him,” Hoss said standing up and running towards the stairs. Adam and Joe followed a few moments later meeting Hoss in the upstairs hallway. “What’s wrong Hoss?” Adam asked.

“Adam remember what I threatened to have Big Red do in your room?” he asked.

“He didn’t did he?” Adam asked with clenched teeth.

“Well not exactly. He did it on Pa’s bed,” Hoss replied making a face.

“What’d who do on Pa’s bed?” Joe asked.

“Pa’s birthday gift from Hoss gave Pa a birthday gift of his own,” Adam replied.

“Adam what am I gonna do? Will you help me clean it up?” Hoss asked. Adam shook his head “no” while smiling. “I’ll help,” Joe said.

“Thanks Joe. I knew I could count on you little brother unlike some brothers I know,” Hoss replied looking at Adam. Adam stayed in the hallway with his arms folded waiting. “What the hell is that thing?” Joe asked. Adam started to laugh when he heard Joe’s words.

“It’s a dog,” Hoss replied.

“You’re kidding?” Joe replied. Adam was laughing so hard he had to hold his stomach it was hurting so bad. Joe walked out of the room. “Have you seen that, that, that thing in there?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Adam replied laughing.

“What is it?” he asked.

“I think Hoss called it a dog,” Adam replied.

“It is?” Joe asked.

“Well if Pa can look younger and act younger each year I guess that can be a dog,” Adam replied. Hoss came out of the room holding the present he left on their Pa’s bed in his hankie. Adam and Joe plugged their noses. “Whoa what did you feed him Hoss?” Adam asked.

“Only some corn, mince pie and apples,” Hoss replied.

“Yeah that’ll do it,” Adam replied fanning the air. The dog rushed out of Ben’s room and down the stairs. “Boys what the hell is this?” Ben asked. Adam and Joe were laughing so hard they couldn’t reply. Adam wiped the tears from his eyes and finally replied, “It’s your birthday gift from Hoss.”

“My what?” Ben yelled.

“It’s your birthday gift from Hoss,” Adam replied again still laughing.

“Want the other gift he gave you Pa?” Joe asked. Hoss gave Joe a dirty look. “One more word Joe and you’ll be wearing that gift,” Hoss replied.

“Oh, oh, oh,” Adam said holding his stomach still laughing. “My stomach hurts,” he said.

“Good,” Hoss replied before walking downstairs. Adam and Joe followed. There was a site. Big Red was sitting up in Pa‘s lap. Ben peeked out from behind the large dog looking at his sons. Adam and Joe were leaning against each other trying not to laugh.

“What is that smell?” Ben asked. Adam and Joe couldn’t hold it any longer. They laughed on each other’s shoulders. Hoss took the extra present outside and buried it.

“Adam what is it?” Ben asked.

“I think Hoss called it a dog,” he replied still laughing.

“A dog? This is a dog?” he asked.

“That’s what he says,” Adam replied.

“Yeah that’s what Hoss says all right,” Joe said.

Hoss walked back in. He went to the kitchen and washed his hands before coming back into the living room. “Pa don’t you just think he’s a great dog?” Hoss asked with such affection in his voice.

Ben made a face. “Yes Hoss he’s a great dog. I’m just not used to having a dog, especially one of his size sitting on my lap,” Ben replied.

“You like him then Pa?” Hoss asked.

“I like him Hoss,” Ben lied.

“I named him Big Red for you. I hope that’s all right with you?” Hoss asked.

“Yeah, yeah it’s fine. He sure is big and red that’s for sure,” Ben replied. Adam and Joe were trying not to laugh. Adam cleared his throat. “Yeah he sure is,” he replied.

“Adam and Joe thought he was ugly. I can see Pa that only you and I got the good taste in the family,” Hoss said. Adam and Joe laughed again. “Boys,” Ben said. They tried to sober up.

“What did you two get for Pa for his birthday?” Hoss asked.

“I’ll go get my gift,” Joe said heading up the stairs.

“Yeah me too,” Adam replied following Joe.

“Pa ain’t it something how Big Red just took to you?” Hoss asked with joy in his voice.

“Yeah,” Ben replied flatly.

Adam and Joe returned holding their gifts. “Here Pa. Happy Birthday,” Joe said handing his Pa his gift. Ben tried to take it but the dog was too big. “Hoss can you take Big Red off my lap please?” he asked.

“Sure Pa,” Hoss replied taking Big Red into his arms and placing him on the floor. Big Red immediately jumped back into Ben’s lap.

“Pa you should be flattered. Most dogs hate you. I knew Big Red was the dog for you the moment I saw him,” Hoss said.

“Yeah,” Ben said. He managed to open his gift from Joe. It was a new pipe. Adam’s gift was an antique pistol to add to his collection. Hop Sing brought out the birthday cake and set it on the table. “You let Hop Sing know when you want cake cut,” he said.

“We will Hop Sing,” Ben replied. Hop Sing walked up to Ben. “What the hell that?” Hop Sing asked.

“That is a dog,” Adam replied.

“No lie?” Hop Sing asked.

“Hoss says it is,” Joe replied.

“Really Mr. Hoss. That dog?” Hop Sing asked.

“Not only is it a dog Hop Sing but he’s Pa’s best friend,” Hoss replied proudly.

“No fooling? I thought Mr. Roy your Pa best friend?” Hop Sing said before leaving the room. Adam and Joe started to laugh again. “If you two laugh just one more time I’m gonna laugh you into next week. Get what I mean?” Hoss asked.

Adam cleared his throat. “Yeah I get what you mean,” he replied.

“Yeah, yeah me too Hoss,” Joe said making a face.

Ben was admiring his new pipe and new pistol. The four men were talking so intently that they didn’t notice the dog left Ben’s lap until awhile later. “Where’s the dog or whatever it is?” Adam asked.

“He’s probably laying down on the floor sleeping, I hope,” Ben replied.

“You don’t have to worry about Big Red none. He has great manners,” Hoss replied.

Adam stood up and smiled. “Well I guess those great manners include that extra gift and his eating Pa’s birthday cake,” he said.

“What?” Ben asked standing up. “Hoss he’s eating my cake,” Ben said.

“Dadburnit,” Hoss replied walking over to Big Red. “Sorry Pa.”

“Sorry Pa,” Ben replied flat.

That evening Ben went up to his room go turn in. “HOSS,” he yelled.

“Oh lordy I forgot to take the bedspread off his bed,” he said running upstairs.

“Adam he is a dog isn’t he? I mean he’s not something that eats people or anything while they sleep, you think?” Joe asked.

“I hope not. I’m too young to be eaten,” Adam replied.

“What kind of dogs do you think he’s from?’ Joe asked.

“Real ugly ones,” Adam replied.

The days went by and Big Red never left Ben’s side. He slept with him and sat with him. If Ben walked, Big Red walked. When Ben took off on Chubb, Big Red followed. Ben finally had to tie him up in order to ride anywhere. The dog howled for him all day long until Ben would return. When he returned one evening Hop Sing had an ultimatum for him.

“Mr. Cartlight that beast go or Hop Sing go. He driving Hop Sing up wall with howl all day long. Either that or Hop Sing make stew out of him,” he said.

“I don’t know how to get rid of him Hop Sing. I can’t hurt Hoss’s feelings like that. Giving me Big Red meant so much to him,” Ben replied.

“Better Mr. Hoss feeling hurt then beast end up in stew,” Hop Sing said walking back in the kitchen.

Ben had to stay around the house and yard for the next few days to keep Big Red from howling all day long. Ben was standing out front when Roy Coffee rode up. He dismounted from his horse and walked over to Ben. “Hello Ben I haven’t seen you for awhile. What’s that?” Roy asked looking at Big Red..

“That my dog,” Ben asked.

“That’s a dog?” Roy asked.

“Yes it’s a dog,” Ben replied.

“Are you sure? I mean he’s not something that would eat me or something is he?” Roy asked.

“No he’s not. He’s a dog,” Ben replied.

“Ben why’d you get such an ugly one?” Roy asked.

“I didn’t. Hoss gave him to me as a birthday present. His name is Big Red,” Ben said.

“Yeah he’s that for sure and then some,” Roy replied.

“Roy did you come all the way out here just to make fun of my dog or what?“ Ben asked.

“Well actually Ben I came out to,” Roy said cutting himself off.

“To what?” Ben asked.

“No I can’t,” Roy said.

“Can’t what?” Ben asked.

“I just plain can’t ask you,” Roy said.

“Roy will you just ask me what it is you came all this way out here to ask me?” Ben asked loudly.

“Well Ben we’re having a contest in town and I wanted you to be the judge for it but I don’t think I’d better ask you to now,” Roy said.

“What kind of contest?” Ben asked.

“Well it’s the best looking dog in Virginia City contest,” Roy said starting to laugh.

“Ha ha ha,” Ben replied. “Who’s putting this contest on?” he asked.

“The general store in trying to sell this new dog food they got in. Ben if I were you I wouldn’t enter this dog,” Roy said.

“For your information I wasn’t even considering entering this dog,” Ben replied loudly.

“Ben I think I’ll get someone else to judge that dog contest,” Roy said before mounting his horse and leaving.

“Fine you get someone else,” Ben yelled after him. He looked down at Big Red. “You are a dog aren’t you?” he asked. Big Red barked. “Well at least you bark,” he said.

Ben got pretty tired of all the people coming out to see his ugly dog and not being able to leave his house or yard. Adam had an idea. “Pa I think I know of a way to give Big Red a wonderful home and have it not hurt Hoss’s feelings,” he said.

“Adam anything just please get this, this whatever it is out of here,” Ben said.

Adam tied Big Red to the seat of the buckboard. He drove ten miles to John Putnam’s house. He untied Big Red and walked with him to the front door. Adam knocked. “Who is it?” John asked.

“It’s Adam Cartwright,” he replied. John opened the door extending his hand for Adam to take. Adam shook it and brought Big Red in with him. “John I brought someone to keep you company out here,” Adam said untying Big Red who immediately jumped into John’s lap. John smiled as he pet Big Red. The dog licked his face. “You brought me a dog. You heard Old Blue finally up and died not too long ago I guess huh?” John asked.

“Yeah I heard. I thought Big Red here and you would hit it off and I was right,” Adam said. John was an old classmate of Adam’s who lost his sight at a young age.

“What color is he Adam?” John asked.

“He’s red,” Adam replied sitting down.

“Matches my hair then huh?’ John asked.

“Yeah he sure does,” Adam replied.

“Hey Adam if you want you can open up a curtain or light a lantern. Those things aren’t necessary for me so I don’t do them of course,” John said.

“I’ll open up this curtain here by me,” Adam said standing and doing just that . “You may want to open it each day so Big Red has some light,” he said.

“I will. I can’t tell you what it’s going to mean to me to have company again,” John said.

“Well John I told you we have to get you married. Then you’ll have all the company you need,” Adam replied.

“And what has always been my reply to you where that’s concerned Mr. Adam Cartwright? I’ll get married the day after you do,” John said laughing.

“John I have to be honest to you about something. Um, Big Red is a bit on the ugly side,” he said.

“I don’t care. I don’t care what anyone or anything looks like. I don’t judge dogs or people by their looks. I just judge them by who and what they are on the inside. Adam what’s inside of person is what really matters not their outside appearance. It took my going blind to learn that one,” John said.

“I can’t argue with that John,” Adam replied.

“Hey Adam I remember you were always the best looking guy in school. You’re thirty-three now. You still that good looking?” John asked.

“Yes,” Adam replied laughing. John joined in.

“I haven’t looked at you in a long time buddy. Mind if I do?” John asked.

“No,” Adam replied. He moved to the side of John’s chair. John ran his fingers and hands along Adam’s face and hair. “You still have that black hair of yours that all the girls went wild over in school?” John asked.

“Yeah. It’s receding a little but it’s still there,” Adam replied.

“I remember thinking I wish I had your black hair instead of my ugly red hair. I can’t tell you how many times I wished that and now all I would wish for is to see my red hair again,” he said with sadness in his voice. Adam grabbed John’s hands. “It’s got to be tough on you John I know,” Adam said.

“Yeah it is some times more then others but I don’t let it get me down too much. Like they say there’s always someone worse off then you are. Hey Adam by the way you’re right. You’re still real handsome. Speaking of handsome I remember your youngest brother Little Joe being a good looking kid. Did he turn out to be as good looking a young man?” John asked.

“Well I guess but of course he’s not nearly as handsome as I am,” Adam joked laughing. John laughed as well. It was good to hear his old friend laugh. Adam remembered the days back when they were in school and John was always making people laugh. He was the joker of their classroom.

“Honestly John he’s very good looking. With his looks and his personality he is always fighting off the young ladies. Of course they’re always fighting him off as well,” Adam said. John laughed.

“What about Hoss. I always liked him. He wasn’t handsome but he was a good person. He comes to see me once in awhile did you know that Adam?” John asked.

“No I didn’t know that,” Adam replied turning his chair around and sitting backwards in it.

“You sitting backwards in that chair?” John asked.

“Uh huh,” Adam replied.

“You always did like to sit that way. I remember that. Boy that used to drive the girls crazy. I tired it once and not one girl commented. I guess you have what it takes,” John said.

“I remember a girl named Daisy that you used to drive crazy,” Adam replied.

“You mean that scrawny redheaded girl with the bucked teeth and pigtails?” John asked.

“Yeah that’s the one. She’s not so scrawny anymore and she turned out rather pretty buckteeth and all,” Adam replied.

“Oh yeah. I remember she was always very nice,” John said.

“She was and still is,” Adam replied.

“She still single?” John asked.

“Uh huh and she asks about you whenever I happen to run into her in town. I think she still has feelings for you,” Adam said.

“No kidding? I wonder how she could have any feelings for a man who’s blind?” John asked.

“Maybe because she doesn’t judge someone she cares about by their being blind but how they are on the inside. A great man once told me that that’s what matters most,” Adam said.

“A great man?” John asked.

“A very great man,” Adam replied.

“Hey Adam do you think sometime you could maybe bring Daisy out here for a visit?” John asked.

“I could do that,” Adam replied.

Big Red got down and lay across John’s feet. He reached down to pet his head. “He’s a good dog Adam.”

“He is John. He needs someone like you to love him,” Adam said.

“I need him as much as he needs me,” John said.

“I was hoping you would,” Adam replied.

“Where’d you get him?” John asked.

“Well Hoss gave him to my father for a birthday gift,” Adam confessed.

“You’re kidding me? If I remember correctly dog and your father are two things that did not go together,” John said.

“No they don’t but as you know Hoss has a big heart. He felt sorry for the dog and wanted to give him a home. I think the fact it was my father’s birthday just gave him the push he needed to bring him home,” Adam replied.

“Hey Adam you still hear from Molly Johnson?” John asked.

“No,” Adam replied.

“No kidding? I remember you and Molly were made for each other. She adored you Adam. She was your Daisy. What happened between you two?” John asked.

“I waited too long. I think I always thought Molly would always be there when I was ready to marry because she loved me so much. Two years ago I went to Carson City where she had moved. I went there just to see her and to tell her I was ready. I was just about to tell her how much I loved her and always had and how I wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. I was about to get the words out when this man walked up to her and put his arms around her. She had married somebody else because I waited too long,” Adam replied sadly putting his head down.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Why’d you wait so long?” John asked.

“I went to college and then I had my brothers to help raise. Especially my youngest brother. Then there was always The Ponderosa needing me,” Adam said.

“So you lost her to another man huh?” John asked.

“You speak with fork tongue my friend,” Adam replied.

“You mean Daisy?” John asked.

“Yeah,” Adam replied.

“Well I think I’m just going to have to marry Daisy,” John said.

“You do that old buddy. Don‘t lose her like I lost Molly,” Adam replied.

“Maybe someday you’ll end up marrying Molly,” John said.

“What do expect us to do with her husband?” Adam asked.

“You never know buddy. Sometimes things happen,” John said.

“Well I can’t live my life waiting for Molly to come back to me. If only I’d…”Adam broke off saying.

“If only you’d what buddy?” John asked.

“If only I’d followed my heart instead of my dreams and obligations,” he replied.

“You really did love her as much as she loved you did you Adam?” John asked. Adam didn’t reply. “You’ve always had a hard time even when we were younger admitting you loved someone. Why? Why’d you wait so long?” he asked.

“Honestly John it was because I was afraid,” Adam replied.

“Afraid of what?” John asked.

“Afraid of losing her like I’d lost every other woman in my life I ever loved or who had ever loved me,” he replied.

“Funny isn’t it Adam?” John asked.

“What’s funny?” Adam replied looking up at him.

“You waited too long and you lost her anyway didn’t you?” John asked.

Adam thought for a moment before responding. “Yeah I did. You’re right. You’re absolutely right,” he replied sadly.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself buddy. I remember how it was for you. I was there when you learned about Marie’s death. I saw how you tried to be strong for you father and your younger brothers. I also saw how it ate you inside. I saw your fear long before she died,” John said.

“How so?” Adam asked.

“You used to tell me that you knew your step-mother was going to die someday. Don’t you remember saying that to me?” John asked.

“I don’t know,” Adam replied.

“Remember we used to sleep in the barn on warm summer nights and we’d talk. You used to say how your biggest fear was to wake up one day and she’d be dead like Inger and your mother. I used to feel so sorry for you. You were so grown up already so young. I was joking around and having lots of fun and you were my straight man. The serious one who took life on his shoulders at such a young age,” John said.

“I remember having somewhat of a sense of humor,” Adam replied.

“Oh you did. You could make me laugh with that dry humor of yours but you were so serious. You were always playing the role of the good son. You wouldn’t do anything wrong or go against any of the rules. It’s just who you are Adam. Molly loved you the way you were. I remember when you two got caught kissing at recess behind that big tree in the school yard. It was the first time and only time I ever saw you do anything wrong,” John said.

“I’m not perfect John,” Adam replied.

“No but you were close to it. You were so handsome and that voice of yours. I remember when the teacher had us sing that song that time. We were doing that Christmas program and nobody could sing. He had given up and he got to you last and about fell off his chair when you started to sing. I remember sitting there with my mouth open. I had no idea you could sing like you could. I can only guess with your voice deepening as you’ve gotten older it’s even better now,” John said.

“I guess,” Adam replied.

“I remember when I tried to sing that song. The teacher made me promise to never sing again near him,” John said laughing.

“And with good reason,” Adam replied laughing. “You were terrible. You sung so off-key it was pathetic.”

“I still do. Want to hear me?” John asked.

“No,” Adam replied. “Well old buddy I have to get going now. There’s lots to do to get ready for a cattle drive.”

“Hey Adam say hello to your family for me will you? Will you thank them for Big Red for me also?” John asked.

Adam stood and shook John‘s hand. “I will John. You take good care of this dog you hear?” Adam asked petting Big Red‘s head.

“Don’t worry about that. He and I are already best friends,” John replied. Adam walked towards the door. He paused looking back at Big Red. He smiled. Big Red lifted his head and smiled at him as if thanking him for bringing him to John who was petting his head. “Don’t forget your curtain is open,” Adam said.

“I won’t. Adam thanks for coming by and thanks for not ever forgetting me,” John said.

“How could I forget you? You’re still my best friend aren’t you?” Adam asked.

“I always will be too,” John replied.

“Bye John,” Adam said.

“Bye Adam,” John replied.

“Bye Big Red,” Adam said before closing the door. Once on the buckboard Adam felt a bit sad. He actually missed Big Red’s company. He knew that John needed Big Red and Big Red needed John. That they needed each other.

Back home Adam walked in the living room. His father was in his leather chair. Adam sat on the edge of the sofa. “Did you give Big Red to someone son?” Ben asked.

“Yeah I gave him to John Putnam. They hit it off together right off,’ Adam replied.

“That was a wonderful thing to do son. I heard John lost his dog not long ago. I’m sure it gets lonely and scary out there without a dog for him,” Ben said.

“Don’t you ever get lonely Pa?’ Adam asked.

“What with you three constantly around me?” Ben asked with humor in his voice. “I have my sons and that helps fill the void,” he replied.

“Yeah I know Pa but don’t you ever miss, well you know, a woman’s company?” Adam asked.

“I’m not going to lie to you son. Yes I do. I haven’t stopped looking,” Ben replied.

“I’m glad to hear it. Pa can I ask you something?” Adam asked.

“Sure son what is it?” Ben asked.

“When you loved someone like my mother how did you learn to love Inger? I don’t mean that the way it sounded. I meant when your heart loves one woman how do you ever forget her and move on to someone else?” Adam asked.

“Well son it’s not easy. In my case I had no choice. Both your Mother and Inger passed away. It was either move on or not move on. Same with Marie,” Ben replied.

“But you haven’t moved on since Marie,” Adam stated.

“I’m not ready to give my heart again until the right woman comes along. I won’t settle son not even to end that loneliness inside of me that craves another wife,” Ben replied.

“Have you ever loved someone and they didn’t die but they married someone else and you had to move on but you didn’t know how?” Adam asked.

“No son. Your Mother was my first real love. That’s the strongest love ever. You never forget your first love,” Ben said.

“I know,” Adam replied.

“Molly?” Ben asked.

“Yeah. She evidently forgot me,” he stated.

“No son. I have the feeling that Molly Johnson will never forget you. Somewhere inside of her heart, way down inside, there will always be her love for you,” Ben replied.

“I hope so,“ Adam said hanging his head. “Where’s Hoss?”

“He’s up in his room. I think he’s hurt we gave Big Red away,” Ben replied. Adam looked up the stairs and slapped his thighs before standing and walking up to Hoss’s room. “Hey Hoss,” he said walking in his room.

“Hi Adam,” Hoss replied sadly sitting in his chair. Adam walked over and sat on his bed.

“I guess you heard we gave Big Red away?” Adam asked.

“Yeah I heard,” Hoss replied so sadly it made Adam feel worse then he already did. “Hoss I gave him to John Putnam. He lost his dog recently and he needed Big Red and Big Red needed him. He got right up in John’s lap and laid across his feet later on. When I left he lifted his head and looked at me as if to say that he was happy to be there. That it was where he belonged and he and John were going to be good friends. I didn’t do it to hurt you. I wouldn’t hurt you for the world. I hope you know that,” Adam said.

“I know that Adam. I’m glad you gave Big Red to John. John’s a good guy and he needs a dog like Big Red,” Hoss replied.

“Hoss, John told me you visit him once in awhile. How come? I mean he wasn’t your friend so why do you do it?” Adam asked.

“Because I always liked John. He was homely like me. He never made fun of me like the other kids in school because he knew how much those words hurt,” Hoss replied.

Adam scooted over on the bed and sat facing Hoss. He placed his right hand on Hoss’s left shoulder. “People can be so cruel I know. I don’t think you’re homely Hoss. If people were judged by who they are inside in looks you would be the most handsome man on earth and I really mean that,” Adam said.

Hoss put his right hand on Adam’s left shoulder. “Thank you Adam. That means a lot to me.”

“By the way, John really likes you and your visits. You’re a very special person Eric Cartwright,” Adam said. Hoss smiled. Adam stood up and walked to the door. He paused looking back at his brother. “Hoss I’m really glad we’re brothers,” he said before leaving the room. Hoss smiled. He knew it took a lot for his brother to say words like he did but when he did he meant them.

Two and a half weeks later Adam and Hoss returned from the cattle drive tired and sore. On their way home they stopped in at John’s house to see him and Big Red. Daisy opened the door. “Hello Adam and Hoss. Come on in,” she said. Adam and Hoss walked in looking at one another . Adam looked at the house. It had gotten that woman’s touch. He looked at John who was sleeping in his chair. There laying across his feet was Big Red. Hoss went up to pet him and he knew right off that Big Red was now John’s dog.

“So Daisy I see you got my message to come visit John,” Adam said looking at the pie Daisy took out of the oven.

“I sure did. In fact John and I got married ten days ago,” she said showing Adam her ring. Adam took her hand and smiled. “Well you didn’t waste any time I see,” he said.

“Oh yes he did. He wasted many years we could have been together but the important thing is that we’re together now,” she said. “Would you boys like to stay for dinner?” she asked.

“We wouldn’t want to intrude on you,” Adam said.

“You’re not intruding,” John said now awake. “We’d love your company. It’s after dinner you’d be intruding.” They all laughed except Daisy who blushed. “Oh John,” she said.

They had stew and homemade biscuits for dinner and apple pie for dessert. When it was time to leave the two brothers said their good-byes and headed for their horses. They mounted them and headed for home. Once home they found their suppers waiting for them. “Oh boy food,” Hoss said running to his seat at the table.

“Oh you aren’t serious are you? How can you think of eating after you had four bowls of stew, six biscuits and three pieces of apple pie?” Adam asked.

“Because I’m a growing boy Adam,” Hoss replied.

“Yeah and we all know which way you’re growing,” he replied walking towards the stairs. “Tell Hop Sing to get a bath for me. I’m tired of smelling like cattle and horses,” Adam said.

As Adam reached the stairs Joe walked in. “Hey Hoss look what I found,” he said. A small dog walked in. “What is that?” Adam asked.

“It’s a Chihuahua,” Joe replied.

“It’s a what?” Hoss asked.

“It’s a dog from Mexico,” Joe replied.

“Looks more like a rat,” Adam said.

“It’s not a rat. It barks,” Joe replied. Adam walked upstairs and the dog followed him. “Are you sure it’s a dog?” he asked.

“That’s what the man said who sold him to me, ” Joe replied.

“What’s his name?” Adam asked.

“Killer,” Joe replied.

“Yeah right. Well come on Killer,” Adam said walking up the stairs. Killer followed him. An hour later Joe went looking for Killer but couldn’t find him anywhere. Adam was asleep in his bed and Joe saw something move by his feet. He carefully lifted the covers off of Adam and there was Killer snug as a bug in a rug curled against his brother’s bent knee. Joe smiled. Ben walked up and saw the sight. “What the hell is that?” he asked.

“Shhhh. It’s a dog,” Joe replied.

“JOSEPH,” Ben yelled.

Adam was so tired he didn't even awaken when his father yelled. In fact he was just beginning to dream. He dreamt he was looking for a home for Killer because Hop Sing was threatening to make a Killer stew out of him. Adam liked the little dog but he knew he was just too small to live among four big men and on a ranch. He needed an older lady to keep company and he knew just the one. Molly Johnson’s Aunt Hattie.

Adam saddled up Sport and put Killer in his shirt. He poked his head out the top where it was unbuttoned. Adam kissed his head. He really loved that little dog but he knew it wasn’t fair to him to keep him. They didn’t have the time to give a small dog. Once he reached Hattie’s house he dismounted and tied Sport up. He took Killer out of his shirt and walked up to the front door. He held Killer up to his face and gave him a hug before knocking. Hattie opened the door. She was a heavy-set woman in her sixties who was far from beautiful but she was a nice lady nonetheless. She invited Adam in and went crazy for Killer. Just as with Big Red and John, Killer and Hattie hit it off.

“Have a seat in the parlor Adam and I’ll get you some tea and cookies after I get this precious little doggie something to sleep on,” Hattie said walking into the kitchen. Adam walked in the parlor and sat down on the red velvet sofa. He looked at the picture of Molly as a much younger girl that sat on the end table next to him. He picked it up and looked at it. He put it down again when he heard Hattie walking in with the tea and cookies.

“I caught you Adam Cartwright. You were looking at Molly’s picture. I must say I always thought the two of you would get married someday,” Hattie said placing the tray on the coffee table. She poured Adam some tea. He picked up the cup and a cookie. Hattie sat down in the chair across from him. Killer came into the room and jumped on her lap.

“Well it didn’t take him long to bond with you did it?” Adam asked.

“No they know when someone loves them, don’t you sweetheart?” Hattie asked holding Killer in her arms.

“I was wondering if you have heard from Molly lately?” Adam asked dying to know the answer to that question.

“Oh yes I have poor thing,” she replied.

“Poor thing? Is she all right?” he asked.

“Haven’t you heard Adam? Molly’s husband Frank died over a year ago. She’s been trying to decide whether to come back here or keep her job in Carson City. She’s the bookkeeper in the general store there and she’s darn good at it,” Hattie replied.

“I’m sure she is. No I hadn’t heard about her husband. I’m sorry to hear he passed away. What happened to him?” he asked taking another bit of his cookie.

“Well he walked out into the street just when a buggy was going by. Didn’t even look. He died instantly. Thank goodness for that. Can’t stand to see anybody suffer,” she replied.

“No I’m glad he didn’t suffer also. So did they have any children?’ he asked.

“No. Molly is well, she’s barren,” Hattie replied.

“Oh I see,” Adam said.

“Probably for the best. It’d be hard for her to have to support a child or two right now that’s for sure,” Hattie said.

“Yeah I could see that. It’s too bad though because Molly would have made a good mother,” Adam replied.

“Yes I agree with you. Remember how she used to love to go over to your house and baby sit your brother Joseph?” Hattie asked placing Killer in her lap and petting his head.

“Yes I remember that,” Adam replied.

“There were times I thought she spent more time there then here. I think she was so taken with your baby brother since she was an only child that she wanted to be there so much. Of course I think she was a bit taken with his oldest brother as well,” she said. Adam cleared his throat. “Where is Molly now?” he asked.

“She’s over at Hannah Ferguson’s house. By golly look at the time. I was supposed to pick her up over an hour ago,” she said trying to get up.

“Why don’t you stay here with Killer and I’ll go and pick her up for you?” Adam asked.

“Oh would you Adam? I hate to leave Killer alone his first day here,” Hattie replied.

“I think I could find the time,” he said. He thanked Hattie for the tea and cookies and was on his way. He got to Hannah Ferguson’s house and walked up to the door. Ralph Ferguson opened the door. “Hello Adam,” he said extending his hand to him. Adam took it and returned his greeting.

“I’ve come to pick up Molly. Her aunt asked me to come in her place,” he said.

“Well come on in and wait for her. They’re upstairs looking at Hannah’s wedding dress. I’ll be so glad when that wedding’s over with. It’s costing me an arm and a leg let me tell you. Tell your father he’s lucky he had all boys. I unfortunately had nine girls,” Ralph said.

“Actually Ralph if you don’t mind I’ll wait in the buggy for Molly,” Adam said.

“Sure I’ll send her out in a few moments,” he said closing the door. Adam walked over to the buggy standing next to it. His heart was racing so fast and his hands were sweating with just the thought of seeing Molly again.

Molly walked to the front door and opened it. She looked at the back of Adam. Her heart began to race and her hands began to sweat at the site of him. He turned when he heard the door close. She stood on the porch looking at him. He smiled as he looked back at her. He walked towards her and she him. When they met they looked in each other’s eyes. “I hear you came to drive me to my aunt’s house?” she asked.

“Yes um, I did,” he replied. He helped her up into the buggy then sat next to her. She put her hands around his left arm. Adam could we go to our favorite spot first? I haven’t been there in years,” she asked.

“Sure,” he replied driving to the lake. He helped her down and walked with his hands behind him next to her. She was still so beautiful. Her long dark brown hair now swept up and her big blue eyes were as beautiful as ever. Her face still as beautiful as it was when she was younger but with the proper amount of aging to it.

He stood with his hands behind his back when they reached the lake. She looked across it. “I’d forgotten how beautiful this spot was,” she said. He nodded. For some reason he felt extremely shy. He didn’t know what to say to her. He said the first thing to come to his mind. “I’m sorry to hear about your husband,” he said before laughing. He didn’t mean to laugh but he couldn’t stop himself. He was nervous and now he felt foolish. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to laugh. I’m just so nervous,” he admitted.

“I am too,” she admitted also.

“I am truly sorry about your losing your husband,” he said again this time not laughing.

“Thank you Adam,” she replied.

“I know you must have really loved him to have married him. I’m sorry. I don’t know why but the words aren’t coming out the way I want them to,” he said putting his head down.

“You’re putting the words very nicely. I married Frank not because I loved him Adam but because he loved me. I was not getting any younger and the man I loved with all my heart wasn’t going to marry me. He made that clear one night and that’s when I moved on. Only I never moved on in my heart,” Molly said looking at him.

“Was I that man you loved?” he asked.

“No you are that man that I still love,” Molly replied.

“I still love you too Molly,” he said.

“Why Adam? Why couldn’t you have said those words to me so very long ago when we met here that night?” she asked.

“I don’t think I really realized how much you meant to me until just before I saw you in Carson City. When I saw you I was going to ask you to marry me and then I saw Frank and learned you were married. I knew it was too late. That I’d waited too long,” he replied.

“Adam that night I came to you. That night we promised to meet here when you came back from college I saw you looking over the lake and I walked up behind you. I saw a man standing there where I last saw a boy go off to college. You stood there looking over the lake. I remember the moonlight shone on it so perfectly. I knew you had to be thinking of us as you looked at that lake like that. I walked up to you and one look in your eyes told me that it wasn’t me you had been thinking of but another woman. You told me you had fallen in love back in college. That she was the only girl in your heart now. That there was no room for me there anymore,” she said turning.

Adam turned her around. “I didn’t use those words,” he said.

“You didn’t have to Adam. Your eyes said those words to me,” Molly said walking towards the lake. “Do you know how long I waited for you to come back here to me? I used to come here almost everyday and stand here thinking of you. Of us. Of how much I loved you and how much I thought you loved me. Adam you showed me how much you loved me here those many nights before you left to college. That special night we were to meet here again I knew I’d lost you. I don’t even know her name and she’s haunted me for years,” Molly said looking him in the eyes.

“Her name isn’t important now,” he replied.

“It is to me Adam. I need to know her name and I need to know about her and what she meant to you,” Molly demanded. Adam looked down. “Her name was Beth. She was someone I met in one of my classes. She reminded me so much of you that I was immediately drawn to her and she to me. We fell in love and we were going to be married as soon as I graduated. I was going to write you and tell you everything but she died suddenly. She had only been gone a few months when I came back here and met you that night. It was too soon. I wasn’t ready to move on yet. I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t purposely hurt you for anything,” he replied.

“Did you and she?” she asked.

“Yes,” he replied. Molly looked across the lake. She felt like someone was cutting at her heart. Adam took her in his arms. “How do you think I felt knowing you were married and with another man in that way? Do you know how many nights I lay awake thinking about you and him,” he replied cutting himself off.

Molly pulled away from him. “I think I want to go to my aunt’s house now Adam,” she said walking towards the buggy. Adam pulled her back. “No Molly. No. We’re adults now. I’m not some kid coming home from college. You aren’t the same young lady waiting for me that night. Molly I only know part of me died since seeing you and Frank that time. I’ve never stopped loving you. The question is, is it too late for us Molly?” he asked.

“If it were too late Adam do you think I’d have suggested we come here?” she asked kissing him. He kissed her back. Afterwards he held her close to him. When Adam awoke he was covered in sweat. It had all been a dream. Some of it real but his desires now for Molly a dream. His Molly was still married to someone else. He knew he had to move on with his life but he didn’t know how.

A few months later he went to Carson City to see Molly and talk things over with her. He didn’t know what he was going to accomplish. He just knew he had to do it. He went in the saloon to get a beer to wash down some of the dust in his throat. He looked up and saw a man and one of the saloon girls coming out of one of the upstairs rooms. On second glance he sat up straight. The saloon girl was Molly. At first he couldn’t believe his eyes and then her eyes met his. She walked up to his table sitting down next to him. “Hello Adam,” she said. He looked at her. The once beautiful young woman was now aged from the hard life she no doubt had lived these past couple of years.

“Hello Molly,” he replied.

“I’ll bet you’re surprised to see me here aren’t you?” she asked.

“To be honest with you I am,” he replied.

“Hey you want to talk with her you pay for it,” the man behind the bar said. “Molly led Adam upstairs and once in the room he handed her the money. She started to undo his shirt. Adam grabbed her arms. “No Molly. I’m not interested in that. I just want to talk and I‘m paying for the time,” he said.

“That’s a switch,” she said sitting down on the bed. He sat down next to her.

“What happened? Where’s your husband?” he asked.

“Didn’t you recognize him? He’s the man who insisted you pay for your time with me,” she replied.

“Molly why?” he asked.

“I love him Adam. When you love someone you want to please them. He bought this saloon and we make a pretty good haul here,” she replied. “You’re surprised aren’t you Adam at the type of girl I‘ve become aren‘t you?” she asked.

“Very,” he replied.

“Well don’t be,” she said.

“Molly you aren’t the same girl I knew at all,” he said.

“When I met you at the lake that night and I saw the look in your eyes I knew there had been someone else. I couldn’t wait for you any longer Adam. I wanted to but I knew you weren’t the type of man to ever forget your first real love. You do what you have to do Adam to make a living. That’s how Frank and I met,” she said.

“You’re right Molly. You never do forget your first real love. Well it’s time I go now,” he said standing up.

“Adam I envy the woman who does marry you someday. She’ll be one lucky girl,” Molly said putting the money down her front.

“Thank you. Good-bye Molly,” he said walking out the door.

“Good-bye Adam,” she replied sadly thinking of the life they may have had together.

On his way home Adam stopped in at Daisy and John’s house. “Well old friend you come to see us again?” John asked. Big red was across his feet as usual. Adam reached down to pet him then sat down.

“Yeah I came to see you again,” he replied.

“Adam can I get you anything to drink or eat?” Daisy asked. Adam could tell she was expecting and didn’t want to put her to any troubles. “No I’m just fine thank you. I see congratulations are in order,” he said.

“Thank you,” Daisy replied.

“Yeah what do you think about that Adam? I’m going to be a father,” John replied.

“I’ll bet anything he or she has red hair,” he replied.

“That’s a given,” John said.

“John can we talk alone?” Adam asked.

“Sweetheart we men have something to talk about. Can you give us some moments alone?” John asked.

“Sure I’ll just go hang up some clothes outside. Take all the time you need,” Daisy said before walking out the door.

“She’s one terrific woman,” Adam said.

“You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know,” John replied. “What is it buddy?”

“I saw Molly,” Adam replied.

“You did? How is she?” John asked.

“She’s a saloon girl and I do mean saloon girl in every sense of the word,” Adam replied.

“No not Molly,” he said.

“All these years I’ve thought about her and all these years she’s been, well she hasn’t been the person I thought she was,” Adam said.

“Adam at least you know buddy and you can move on now. I’m sure there’s some really good looking gal just waiting to get a hold of you,” John said.

“Well I know of at least three dozen,” Adam joked.

“Hey there’s some of that sense of humor I remember,” John said.

“Life’s funny isn’t it John?” Adam asked.

“Yeah. You know Adam you once told me something a long time ago that I’ve lived by. It’s kept me going all these years I’ve been blind,” John said.

“What that buddy?” Adam asked.

“That all things happen for a reason. It’s great advice you gave me the day I went blind. Now I’m giving it to you,” John replied.

“Thanks John. I’ll remember that. Well I have to get back to the ranch now,” Adam said standing and patting John on his left shoulder. “You take care and you and Daisy come and see us anytime. When it gets closer to her time you make sure you plan to stay with us,” Adam said as he shook John’s hand.

“Thanks Adam. I was going to ask you about that but I didn’t know how to intrude on your family like that,” John said.

“What are friends for? There’s only one thing you have to agree to,” Adam said.

“What’s that?” John asked.

“You have to name the baby either Adam or Amanda,” he said laughing.

“We were thinking John or Joanne,” he replied.

“Nah Adam or Amanda are better then John or Joanne,” Adam said walking towards the door. “Don’t forget to bring Big Red with you when you come. Bye Big Red,” Adam said before walking outside. He said his good-byes to Daisy before heading home.

Once home he walked in the house. There was his father at his desk doing paperwork. Killer was in his usual place. On his father’s shoulder as he worked. Killer was indeed his father’s dog. The dog slept with him, was in his lap when his father was seated in his leather chair or on his shoulder as he worked. His father even took Killer with him in his shirt when he didn’t go too far on Buck.

“Hi Pa,” Adam said walking towards the desk.

“Hello son. Did you take care of that personal business in Carson City?” Ben asked.

“Yeah I did,” Adam said walking towards the stairs.

“Did you see Molly?” Ben asked.

Adam turned and replied, “No, no I didn’t. Molly wasn’t there.”

“You couldn’t find her?” Ben asked.

“I found her. When I said she wasn’t there it was because she wasn’t my Molly anymore. She’s a saloon girl now in every sense of the word. She even wanted me for a customer. I turned her down but we talked. I had to pay her for her time. What happened to her, Pa?” Adam asked.

Ben held Killer in his hands and walked towards Adam. He placed Killer on the floor and placed his right hand on Adam’s left shoulder. “Son sometimes when we care for someone we hold onto how we last saw them thinking they’ll never change. That they’ll always be like that forever,” he said.

“I wonder Pa if I hadn’t turned her away that night when we met at the lake if she would have turned out this way?” Adam asked.

“Son you can’t blame yourself. Molly is who she chose to be. You can’t blame yourself for that. Things happen for a reason. I’ve always told you that. Maybe you were meant to turn her away that night because you weren’t meant to be with her. Have you ever thought about that?” Ben asked.

“It’s funny but you’re the third person to use those words on me today,” Adam replied.

“Who were the other two?” Ben asked.

“John and myself,” Adam replied.

“Mr. Cartlight, Hop Sing find black and white cat,” he said bringing the cat in the house. “That’s no cat,” Adam said running up the stairs. Ben picked up Killer and ran up behind him.

“Not cat? Man selling say he polecat,” Hop Sing replied.

THE END

RETURN TO LIBRARY