MY ADAM

Adam stepped off the buggy. Amanda Elizabeth in his arms. Her hands clasped tight around his neck as usual. He walked in the church afraid of what could happen inside. His brothers were snickering as they stepped down in anticipation of the fun they no doubt knew was to come. Ben cleared his throat and tried not to snicker. His oldest son who was so calm and collective most of the time had met his match in Amanda Elizabeth. All Joe and Hoss knew was they were looking forward to this service like they’d never looked forward to a service before.

Amanda Elizabeth is the sixteen month old daughter of Adam’s good friends John and Daisy Putnam. Named for Adam and his mother, he was also her Godfather. Adam sent her parents to Monterey and Carmel, California for their wedding anniversary. On his advice they went a few months early because the weather would be on their side. He had promised he would watch Amanda Elizabeth for them while they were gone and so begins our story. Oh but first you must know that nobody adores Adam in the way of a female as much as Amanda Elizabeth. Not yet anyway.

Adam closed his eyes before entering the church. “My Addum,” Amanda Elizabeth said loudly as he walked down the aisle to their front pew. “My Addum,” she said again patting his back. The congregation laughed. Adam closed his eyes then opened and rolled them. Hoss and Joe took their seats as they laughed. They were going to enjoy this service that was for sure.

Adam wouldn’t have come to church that day if it hadn’t been for the fact that one of their good friend’s baby boy was getting baptized. His father was going to be the child’s Godfather and so he had not choice but to be there. He looked up and silently asked God if he couldn’t see his way to have Amanda Elizabeth sleep through the service. He found out that God himself had a sense of humor.

While the minister was waiting for everyone to take a seat Amanda Elizabeth sat down in Adam’s lap. She turned and faced him. “Addum’s hair,” she said rubbing the top of his head. Hoss, Joe and Ben snickered. The congregation laughed. “Addum’s eyes,” she said pointing to his eyes.”

“Amanda Elizabeth look at the pretty flowers,” Adam said trying to get her attention away from him. She looked then turned back around. “Addum’s nose,” she said pointing to his nose.

“Amanda Elizabeth look at that little boy over there,” he said pointing to the other pew.

“Addum’s mouth,” she said pointing to his mouth. His brothers were trying their darndest not to laugh louder then they were. After all they were in church. The congregation tried to contain themselves as well but were enjoying watching the eternal bachelor meet his match.

“Addum’s ear,” she said pointing to his ear. The minister calmly walked up to the pulpit trying not to snicker. Turning his head for just a moment he lay his Bible down atop it.

“Addum’s hairy chest,” she said trying to find it under his buttoned shirt and tie pulling on the tie. The minister, the congregation and his family all broke into laughter. Adam sank down in the pew. If there was anything a sixteen month old was it wasn’t quiet when they spoke. Ben tried his best to contain himself but he had to admit he was enjoying every moment of it .

The minister collected himself as best he could. He tried to begin his sermon. “Well now that we all have learned about Adam’s anatomy perhaps we can continue on with our service,” he said laughing. The congregation joined in. Hoss and Joe lost it as well as Ben. Adam just sank deeper and deeper into the pew.

“Addum’s hairy chest,” Amanda Elizabeth said very loud frustrated she couldn’t find it. Adam picked her up and carried her down the aisle with the congregation, the minister and his family laughing. “My Addum,” she said patting his back just before they exited the church. Once outside he could still hear the laughter. He had never been so embarrassed before in his entire life . He knew he would never be able to live this one down. He imagined what it would be like the next time he walked in the saloon. “My Addum,” they would say in unison. “Addum’s hairy chest,” they would tease him with. Oh he wished he had stayed home. He debated on what to do. He couldn’t take the buggy and leave his family stranded here although right now he felt like he wanted to. He had noticed they were laughing as much as anyone else in that church. No they were laughing even harder. Oh he’d never live this down. Why did Hoss have to be bigger then he was? He could see lots of teasing ahead for him at home.

He faced the buggy, his back to the church door. He thought maybe he’d take Amanda Elizabeth for a walk until church was over. Just as he was setting out he heard her say, “My Addum.” He turned knowing someone had to be there. At first he thought maybe it was his father or one of his so-called brothers. Instead he found a beautiful woman standing before him. She looked so familiar to him and yet he couldn’t place her.

“Hello Adam,” she said. Her dark hair was swept up with a a blue hat on top of it. She wore a fashionable matching blue dress and white gloves.
Her big blue eyes were sweet just like the rest of her face. The sweetness shown through all her beauty.

“Hello,” he replied. The woman walked up to him. “My Addum,” Amanda Elizabeth said grabbing his neck tighter.

“Yes your Adam,” she said patting Amanda Elizabeth’s back.

“My Addum,” Amanda Elizabeth said again.

“Your daughter sure loves you,” the woman said looking at him.

“She’s not my daughter. She’s my Goddaughter,” he replied.

“Oh?” the woman asked.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before,” he said looking at her.

‘Yes you have. We went to school together. I was Sarah Johnson. Molly’s sister. Remember I was four years behind you and Molly. I was the lovesick little girl who always starred at you all day long,” she replied a little embarrassed.

“That was you? Oh you used to make me feel so uncomfortable. I remember looking away knowing you were still looking at me,” he replied.

“Who’s little girl is she?” she asked.

“Do you remember John and Daisy in our class?” he asked.

“John the clown and Daisy the one who loved him so?” she asked.

“Yes that would be them,” he replied.

“That explains her red hair,” Sarah said.

“I remember John wouldn’t give Daisy the time of day. I remember her sitting on the steps at school eating lunch alone watching him,” she replied.

“Well they did end up getting married,” he replied.

“I guess he finally looked at her differently,” she said.

“Very much so. John went blind in his early twenties,” Adam replied.

“Oh I’m so sorry to hear that. It sounds like he has a full life though with Daisy and this little sweetheart,” she said patting Amanda Elizabeth’s back again. “You know Adam if you would pat her back lightly I think she’s ready to go to sleep,” she said.

Adam looked down at Amanda Elizabeth. She had her eyes closed and was sucking her thumb. He patted her back gently and bounced lightly up and down. “Why couldn’t she have fallen asleep awhile ago?” he asked. Sarah laughed knowing exactly what he meant.

“I heard you saw Molly a while back,” Sarah said. Adam thought back to the Molly he once knew and the Molly she had become. He looked at Sarah seeing so much of HIS Molly. “Yes,” he replied.

“She asked me to say hello to you if I saw you in her last letter to me. I told her I was coming out for the baptism. It must have been hard on you to see her that way,” she said.

“Yes it was,” he replied.

“Adam I want you to know it had nothing to do with you at all. Molly just got in with the wrong kind of men. My parents and I tried to sway her from their type but no words could get through to her. She chose that way of life over the life she could have had with you,” she said.

“I think back on that night we met at the lake after I came home from college. If only I hadn’t had so much on my mind,” he said.

“Was it another woman?” she asked. “Molly always thought it was.”

“I’m not going to lie and say I hadn’t met other women at college. We were both free to see whom we wanted. It wasn’t that. I stood there looking at the lake watching my dreams die just like John’s had. I wanted to be an architect so badly and was offered a job with this firm in Chicago. I couldn’t because I knew deep inside I would never be happy knowing my father and my brothers needed me back home. I had just learned that my friend was more then likely losing his sight as well. I had the responsibility of taking him to San Francisco to see one of the world’s best eye doctors. We were leaving the next day. My thoughts were not of Molly that night I’m sorry to say,” he replied sadly.

Sarah placed her hand on his right shoulder. “Adam even if you had given Molly the reception she had longed for that night it wouldn’t have mattered. The Adam Cartwright I always knew would never have wanted what Molly had become,” Sarah replied. Adam looked at her. “Yes Adam she had turned bad even before you came home. Once you left she started running around with the wrong kind of men. It had nothing to do with you at all I want you to know that. It had to do with my father. He was too strict with her. She was the oldest and he was so afraid of boys. His constant strictness and lectures on the subject made her become who she is today just to spite him.
It’s too bad because I think if she hadn’t done what she had done I have no doubts that she would be Mrs. Adam Cartwright today. The Molly you and I both knew back then before you left for college would have waited for you for all eternity if need be to be with you. That Molly doesn‘t exist anymore,” she said sadly.

Adam looked at her feeling like a great burden had just been lifted off of him. “Thank you for telling me Sarah,” he said.

“I didn’t want you to go through your life blaming yourself for what Molly became. I knew you were always a deep thinker and I knew you would blame yourself somehow for how she‘d become. To be honest with you Adam, I came here not only for the baptism but to tell you this in person,” she said.

“Thank you,” he replied. Looking down at Amanda Elizabeth she was sound asleep with her thumb in her mouth. “Would you like to go back inside? We could sit towards the back together if you’d like,” he asked.

“I would love that,” she said looking into his eyes. Sarah remembered how handsome he was back in school. To her he was the most handsome man on earth. Seeing him now with his body filled out and his more handsome face she knew in her heart that he was the most handsome man on earth.

That afternoon and back home Adam was trying to get one of his brothers to watch Amanda Elizabeth for him so he could take Sarah on a ride. He knew right then and there they were both getting even with him. Yes they were for all the things an older brother does to his younger brothers when they are so much smaller and younger then he is. “So neither one of you will watch her for me?” he asked his two so-called brothers in the living room.

“No way,” Joe said.

“I’m too busy older brother,” Hoss replied eating an apple.

“What too busy eating?” he replied.

“Yeah,” Hoss replied back.

“Thanks. Forget all those nice things I ever said to you Hoss,” he said.
Looking at Joe he said, “And you forget all those nice things…..” he broke off. “I never said anything nice about you that I can remember and I’m glad,” he said stomping off to go upstairs.

Hoss and Joe laughed. They were having a great time with all of this. They knew they would make it all up to their older brother someday but they just were having too much fun to care right now.

Adam knocked on his father’s door then went inside. Ben was sitting in his chair reading his Bible. Something he did every Sunday. Adam sat on the side of the bed facing his father. Ben looked up into his son’s face. Adam smiled. He smiled back. This went on for a few minutes. Ben closed his Bible and looked at his son again. “Adam is there something you want?” he asked.

“You know what I think you need Pa?” he asked.

“What do I need son?” his father replied.

“You need to spend the afternoon and most likely the whole evening with a beautiful young lady. When was the last time you did that?’ he asked.

“I can’t remember,” he replied knowing where this was going.

“How would you like to do that very thing today?” Adam asked.

“Are you referring to my watching Amanda Elizabeth for you while you take Sarah Johnson out?” he asked.

“Yeah. Please Pa,” Adam begged. “Hop Sing is away and I really need you. Please?” Adam asked pitifully.

“What about your brothers? They don’t have any plans I don’t think,” he replied.

“One thing I have learned from today is that I have no brothers,” he answered. Ben began to laugh. Adam turned his head and rolled his eyes.

“I’m sorry this has been such an interesting day for you to say the least. Addum’s hairy chest,” Ben said before laughing.

“Well I’m glad my being publicly humiliated by a sixteen month old is bringing so much pleasure to this family. Well I can see there’s only one thing I can do if I am to go on that date alone with Sarah,” Adam said smugly. Ben could tell the wheels in his son’s head were turning and not the right way for his sake. “What is that one thing son?” he asked afraid of the answer.

“I’ll just go into town and bring Clementine Hawkins here to baby sit Amanda Elizabeth. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind coming all the way out here to spend the day with you Duckie,” he replied. Ben’s face instantly turned sober.
“Hoss, Joe and I will watch Amanda Elizabeth for you while you are out with Sarah,” he replied in fear.

Adam stood walking to the door. He turned smiling before leaving and said, “I knew you’d change your mind Duckie.”

Adam had to wait for Amanda Elizabeth to take her afternoon nap before he could leave. She didn’t know his father and brothers very well and Adam knew she would have put up a fuss if he were around. He knew he wouldn’t be able to leave her hearing her cry for him and she’d be on his date with Sarah.

He picked Sarah up at the friend’s house she was staying at and they took a nice, long Sunday drive. She had packed a picnic dinner for them. They parked near a pond and he laid down a blanket for them to sit on. He felt so comfortable with her and she him. They talked about their old teacher and some of the things that happened back in school. They talked about his life and her life since then. She had become a teacher. She never married because she had never found the right man. She wasn’t about to settle just to wear a ring on her left hand like so many of her friends had done.

Later after they had eaten and were laying down on the blanket did she feel she could ask him a question she longed to asked. “Adam?” she asked.

“Huh?” he replied sleepily.

“Let me guess. Amanda Elizabeth sleeps with you and you don’t get much sleep?” she assumed.

“Yeah and boy do little kids move around a lot and make noises when they sleep,” he replied. Sarah smiled as she pictured what he was saying.

“Adam I know you don’t approve of what Molly is and neither do I. I hope I’m not stepping over my boundaries here but I have to ask you something?” she asked.

“What?” he replied sitting up on his side.

“Is she anything worse then what your step-mother was? I’m sorry I shouldn’t have asked that but your father seemed to accept it in her. Maybe I’m wrong about all of this. I’m just going by the talk I heard around school, town and home. No forget it. I shouldn’t have asked. It’s none of my business,” she said regretting asking her question.

He sat up and took her right hand in his. “I was wondering when you would ask me that question,” he said looking in her eyes.

“You were?” she asked.

“Yes. Marie was like Molly but she wasn’t. It wasn’t her husband selling her and her allowing it. She chose that way of life only because it was her only way of supporting herself. There had been some cruel things done to her by her in-law. Nonetheless Marie was never cheapened by it. Molly was. She was the saloon girl that any man off the street could pay his few dollars to and spend a few moments of pleasure with,” he replied.

“I’ve heard there are saloon girls for the average man who differ from those for the rich men. Is that true?” she asked.

“Uh huh,” he replied looking down embarrassed.

“You needn’t be embarrassed Adam. You’re a man and you aren’t married. I’m not stupid. I know what occurs when men go into the saloon on Saturday nights. What you need is a good woman who loves you to keep you home Saturday nights,” she said.

“Do you know of one?” he asked.

“I lied to you awhile ago,” she said.

“How so?” he replied moving closer to her.

“I’m not married not because I’m picky but because I’ve loved someone since I was a young girl back in school. I’ve never been able to get him out of my heart as much as I tried to,” she replied.

“Could I possibly be that man?” he asked.

“You are and when I’ve thought about you on Saturday nights it sickens me inside,” she replied.

“Oh?” he asked moving closer.

“Adam it’s not Saturday night and I’ve never ever,” she said looking down.

“Do you kiss?” he asked.

“Yes,” she replied looking into his eyes.

“Then stop talking and let me kiss you,” he said moving his mouth towards hers. His mouth opening just before making contact with hers. They wrapped their arms around each other holding each other close and tight. When they were finished he looked down and then into her eyes. “You know when I found out about Molly I was so upset. I remember stopping in at John’s and telling him all about her. He told me that things happen for a reason. Not words I really wanted to hear right then but not words that I hadn’t told myself all the way back from Carson City. Those same words my father said to me that very night when I told him the situation. My father always told me that we may not know why now but someday we will. I know right now that the reason was because I was supposed to meet you and be with you not Molly,” he said.

“Be with me?” she asked.

“I know we basically just met today but I know one thing about myself and that is that I know when I’m in love,” he replied.

‘You do?” she asked.

“I love you Sarah Johnson,” he said taking her right hand and kissing it. Holding that kiss on her hand for a moment longer then usual. “I love you too Adam Cartwright,” she replied. They kissed again.

Adam got home and couldn’t keep the smile from his face. “Have a good time son?” his father asked from his leather chair.

“Yeah,” he replied sitting down on the edge of the coffee table smiling.

“You like this girl a lot do you?” he asked.

“Yeah,” he replied. “How’s Amanda Elizabeth?”

“Oh she’s fine now,” Ben replied.

“What happened,” he asked concerned.

“Oh she just decided to throw a fit when she woke up from her nap and found out you weren’t here. She cried for a couple of hours saying ‘My Addum,” over and over again. Then she discovered that Hoss had chest hair just like you and she played with that chest hair all evening. I can’t tell you how many times he yelled out in pain as she pulled it,” he said laughing.

Adam laughed. “Did Joe spend any time with her?” he asked.

Ben started to laugh. “Hoss was watching her upstairs in your room trying to get her to go to sleep. She didn’t go to sleep but he did in the chair in your room. Anyway Amanda Elizabeth started walking around the upstairs I presume looking for you. She walked in the bathing room and Joe was in the tub. He didn’t see her in time and let’s just say that her newest saying is “What’s that?” Ben said laughing. Adam laughed so hard his stomach hurt.
“I just heard Joe scream “Pa,” and I ran upstairs to find Amanda Elizabeth pointing to something Joe was trying to hide,” Ben said. The two men laughed until they saw Joe walking downstairs.

“Yeah I thought I heard you laughing. You know what that, that little girl did tonight?” he asked.

“Why do you think I was laughing so hard?” Adam replied.

“Oh yeah laugh. Don’t care that I was embarrassed,” he said sitting down on the sofa.

“Joe she’s only sixteen months old,” Adam stated.

“Yeah but she’s got a terrific memory,” he replied. Ben and Adam laughed again. “It’s not funny,” Joe said.

Before they could comment Hoss walked down the stairs. “Son I thought you were asleep long ago?” Ben asked.

“I was but my chest hurts so bad I thought I’d come down and get some liniment for it,” he said walking towards the kitchen. Ben, Adam and Joe looked at each other.

“Why does your chest hurt?” Adam asked snickering.

“That darn Amanda Elizabeth pulled my chest hair so much that’s why,” he replied. They all three started to laugh.

“My Addum. My Addum,” they heard at the top of the stairs. Adam got up and rushed up the stairs for fear Amanda Elizabeth might fall down them. He picked her up in his arms and hugged her. “My Addum,” she said hugging him close. “My Amanda Elizabeth,” he replied kissing her forehead.

He carried her downstairs and sat down with her on the sofa. She looked at Joe who gave her a funny look back. “What that?” she asked pointing to him. Ben and Adam burst out laughing. She began to laugh and clap her hands knowing she made them laugh. Because of this she kept saying “What’s that?” Joe decided to go upstairs.

****************************************************************************************

“My Addum.” “No my Adam,” Sarah replied. “He’s your daddy.” Adam reached out and took his sixteen month daughter in his arms. “Did you miss your daddy today Elizabeth Anne?” he asked.

“Miss daddy,” she replied hugging him.

“Oh I missed you too princess,” he replied. “I missed you too Sarah,” he said hugging and kissing his wife on the lips. “How’s that baby inside there huh?” he asked feelings Sarah’s large stomach.

“He or she is just fine. Loves to kick. You hungry?” Sarah asked walking towards the kitchen.

“Yeah I’m starved. We really worked hard today rounding up all those strays,” he replied.

“Well I ran into Daisy Putnam today and invited them over for dinner tonight. I hope you don’t mind,” she said.

“No not at all. They going to spend the night as usual?” he asked.

“Yeah I don’t like them going home in the dark like that with John’s being blind. I just don’t feel it’s safe,” Sarah replied from the kitchen.

“I agree. How’s my girl?” Adam asked sitting down on the couch with Elizabeth Anne. “Daddy’s hair,” she said patting the top of his head.

“Yes daddy’s hair,” he replied.

“Daddy’s ear,” she said pointing to his ear.

“Yes daddy’s ear,” he replied.

“Daddy’s nose,” she said pointing to his nose.

“Yes daddy’s nose,” he replied.

“Daddy’s mouth,” she said pointing to his mouth.

“Yes daddy’s mouth,” he replied.

“Daddy’s hairy chest,” she said pointing to where his shirt was unbuttoned the top few buttons.

“Yes,” he replied reluctantly. He wondered how men who didn’t have hairy chests entertained young children.

“My daddy,” she said hugging him. He hugged her back. Sarah walked in the room handing some lemonade to Adam. I thought you might be thirsty,” she said.

“Thanks sweetheart,” he replied taking the cup from her.

They heard a knock on the door. It was John, Daisy, Amanda Elizabeth and their baby John, Jr.

After dinner they all sat around the fireplace. Adam held Elizabeth Anne seated next to his wife, Sarah on the sofa. “So Adam I remember so long ago having a conversation with you about your future children. I’m so glad you got the daughter you wanted first,” Daisy said.

“Yeah me too. I’ve sure enjoyed her,” he replied.

“What do you want this next one to be that’s due any time?” John asked.

“I don’t care. I got my girl and now I can have those twelve boys for all I care,” he replied.

“Wait a minute. What twelve boys?” Sarah asked sitting up dazed.

“Oh didn’t Adam ever tell you that I told him he was going to father twelve sons someday?” Daisy asked.

“No he didn’t. That wasn’t mentioned in our wedding vows I know that for sure,” Sarah replied.

“Well just think dear if this is a boy you only have eleven more to go,” he said before kissing his wife. She held his face to hers and said, “I love you Adam but I don’t love you that much.” They all laughed.

“My Addum,” Elizabeth Anne said hugging her daddy.

Four year old Amanda Elizabeth got up and walked towards Adam and Elizabeth Anne “No he’s my Adam,” four year old Amanda Elizabeth said getting up in his lap next to Elizabeth Anne. “MY ADDUM,” Elizabeth Anne yelled trying to push her away.

“Adam you still have females fighting over you just like back in school,” John said. They all laughed.

***************************************************************************************

Adam and Elizabeth’s first son was born a week later. Adam held him proudly and looked at his wife. All the love he had for her seemed to rush
to the surface. “I love you so much Sarah,” he said taking her right hand in his.

“I love you too,” a tired Sarah replied.

Adam’s family came to see the new baby that day bringing Elizabeth Anne with them. Elizabeth Anne was a bit jealous seeing her father holding her new baby brother. Adam gave the baby to Hoss who was a little afraid to take him at first but held him proudly. Adam picked his daughter up and let her look at her new baby brother. “That’s your baby brother,” he said.

“My baby,” she said.

“Yes he’s your baby,” Ben said taking his eyes off his grandson for a moment. Hoss was getting so much enjoyment out of holding his nephew. At that moment he looked forward to holding his own child someday.

“Did you and Sarah decide on a name for him?” Ben asked.

“Let me guess,” Joe said. “Adam Stoddard Cartwright, Jr.”

“No,” Adam replied.

“Benjamin Adam Cartwright,” Joe said.

“No,’ he replied.

“Joseph Benjamin Cartwright?” he asked.

“No,” Adam replied.

“Then what the heck did you name your baby? I know you didn’t name him Hoss,” he said.

“No. I named him after someone I have loved most of my life. Someone who has always been there for me when I’ve needed him to be. Someone who I am proud of. Someone I hope will agree to be my son’s Godfather and who will be a role model for him where kindness and caring is concerned. His name is Eric Benjamin Cartwright after you Hoss,” Adam said.

“After me?” Hoss asked shocked and with tears of joy forming.

“After you big brother,” Adam replied putting his arm around his shoulder.

“Thank you,” he replied with looking down at his namesake. Hoss looked over at Sarah who was crying. Adam sat down next to her holding Elizabeth Anne.
“Thank you Sarah,” Hoss said. “I don’t know if you know how much this means to me.”

“I think I do Hoss,” she replied. “I love you, you know,” she said.
Hoss broke down. “I love you too,” he replied through his tears. Ben put his arm around Hoss’s shoulder.

Joe didn’t mind the baby not being named after him one bit. He knew how much this meant to Hoss. It was right for Adam to name him after him. He knew how close his brothers had always been to each other. Even though he knew his brothers loved him just as much he knew they shared a bond that was formed the moment Adam held him in his arms watching Inger die. The promise he made to himself and to his brother Hoss at that very moment that he would always watch over him and be there for him.

Joe looked up and kidding said, “I expect the next one or at least the following one to be named after me.” They all laughed. “Wait a minute here. Do you all think I’m a baby machine?” Sarah asked. They all laughed again.

A few days later Adam brought Elizabeth Anne over to see his family. “Hoss isn’t here,” Ben said from behind his desk.

“I know. He’s over at our house holding his namesake,” Adam replied.

“He sure loves to spend time with him. He told me this morning that that new colt that was born the same day as Eric is going to be his. His gift to his namesake when he’s old enough to ride him,” Ben said.

“That’s great. I’m glad he’s so happy about it,” Adam said sitting on the edge of his father’s desk holding Elizabeth Anne in his lap.

“Hello my sweetheart,” Ben said standing and kissing her on her head.
Elizabeth Anne looked at the pictures on her grandfather’s desk. “My Grandma,” she said pointing to Adam’s Mother Elizabeth’s picture.

“Yes your Grandma,” Ben replied.

“Daddy’s mommy,” she said.

“Yes your daddy’s mommy,’ he replied.

“Inger,” she said pointing to Inger’s picture. “Daddy’s Mommy.”

“Yes Inger,” Ben replied. “Daddy’s mommy.”

“Daddy two mommies,” she said holding up two fingers. Ben took her from Adam’s lap and held her in his sitting on his chair.

“Yes your daddy had two mommies,” he replied.

“Pa where’s Joe?” Adam asked.

“Upstairs,” he replied.

“Can you watch Elizabeth Anne while I go up and see him?” he asked.

“What watch my granddaughter? Why I sure can,” he replied.

Adam got up and went upstairs. Back down at the desk Elizabeth Anne pointed to Marie’s picture. “Marie. Joseph’s mommy,” she replied.

“Yes Joseph’s mommy,” he said.

She went back to Elizabeth’s picture. “Pretty Elizabeth,” she replied.

“Yes very pretty. You look just like her,” Ben said with a tears forming in his eyes.

“Love Grandma,” she said taking the picture and holding it to her chest hugging it.

“Yes love Grandma,” Ben replied.

“In Heaven,” she said moving her hand upward.

“Yes she’s in Heaven,” Ben replied placing the picture back on the desk.

“Loves me,” she said.

“Yes she loves you very much,” Ben replied.

“Love Grandpa,” she said hugging Ben.

“I love you too Elizabeth Anne,” he replied hugging her back and kissing her head. She moved back and looked at him. “Tear,” she said pointing to the tears falling down his cheeks. He wiped them. “Grandpa cry,” she said kissing his cheek. She smiled. “Grandpa’s hairy chest,” she said pointing to the top of his chest.

*********************************************************************************
Adam walked into Joe’s room. Joe was laying down on his bed reading. “Hey older brother,” he said sitting up. Adam sat down in the chair next to his bed.

“Hey younger brother. You enjoying this lazy Sunday afternoon I see,” he replied.

“Yeah it’s nice not to do anything,” he replied.

“Joe I’d like to talk with you for a moment about something,” Adam said seriously.

“Shoot,” Joe replied.

“I wanted you to know that because we chose to name Eric after Hoss that it doesn’t mean that Sarah and I think any less of you. It’s just…”Adam broke off.

“I know why you did it. I’m fine with it. I think you did the right thing.
Adam it meant so much to him. Did you see the look on his face when he heard you say his name? I’ll never forget it. All the way over he kept saying the name was going to be Adam or Benjamin or Joseph being your were the father, our father and my name being our father’s, father’s name. He never expected Eric Benjamin after himself,” he said.

“We had the name picked out the moment we learned Sarah was expecting again. We didn’t want anyone to know until he was born. If he had been a she, she would been named Erica after him,” he said.

“Well that beats the heck out of Josephine if it were supposed to be named after me and was a girl,” he laughed.

“Thanks Joe for understanding,” Adam said going towards the door.

“Hey Adam you’re really happy aren’t you?” Joe asked.

“Yes Joe I really am. I love Sarah so much and I love being a father,” he replied.

“Adam I heard about Molly. I’m sorry,” he said.

“Well we weren’t surprised. She had a hard life and drinking a long with it. That hard life and all that drinking finally caught up to her,” he replied.

“How’s Sarah handling it?” he asked.

“She’s handling it well. I think having the children and Hoss to keep her company all the time helps. Also she realized that in actuality her sister died inside a long time ago,” he replied. I’d better go downstairs and rescue Pa from Elizabeth Anne. I think she’s found his chest hair again. You know that embarrasses him.” Adam said.

“Hey Adam thanks,” Joe said.

“For what?” Adam asked.

“For just being my older brother. You were the best role model and the best older brother anybody could have asked for. I know we’ve had our differences in the past but I love you and I wanted you to know that,” Joe said.

“Thank you for telling me Joe,” Adam said before walking into the hallway.
Joe looked at his doorway. He had wanted to tell his brother those words for so long and finally had. He looked down and then back up. There in his doorway was his brother. Adam walked up to him. Joe stood. Adam took his brother in his arms and held him. “I love you too Joe,” he said. Joe wrapped his arms around his older brother and held him tight and cried.
Adam held him tighter and cried as well. When they let go of each other they each wiped the tears from their faces.

“Adam why do we have such a hard time letting each other know how we feel?
We’re brother,” Joe asked.

“I think it’s the age difference. With Hoss and me we are closer in age and we’ve been through so much together. We always saw each other as brothers.
With our age difference you were always my brother but I was also your father. I think that had something to do with it,” he replied.

“I think I always saw it that you were trying to be strong for me and I in turn tried to be strong for you,” Joe replied.

“That could easily be it,” Adam agreed.

“Adam?” Joe asked.

“Yeah Joe?” Adam replied.

“There’s something I’ve always wanted to do someday. I wanted you to know right now,” he said.

“What’s that?” Adam asked.

“I’ve always wanted my first son to be named after you,” he replied. Adam smiled a closed smile. He put his arms around Joe’s shoulders and brought him closer to him. “I can’t ask for anything that would honor me more then that,” he replied. “Well I’d better go see how Elizabeth Anne is doing or should I saw how Pa is doing?” he asked smiling.

“Yeah maybe you’d better,” Joe replied. Adam walked to the doorway again.
He looked back. “You know Joe I have to admit there are times when I still saw you as boy. Right now I look at you and I only see a man,” he said.
Joe smiled.

“Thanks Adam. That means so much to me, “ Joe replied. Adam turned to leave. “Adam thanks for always being there for me when I’ve needed you,” Joe said. Adam turned around and smiled before heading out the door.

One and a half years later Adam and Sarah welcomed twin sons. When his family came over to see the babies Adam placed one in his father’s arms and one in his brother Joseph’s arms. “What are their names?” Ben asked looking with admiration at his grandson in his arms. “You’re holding Benjamin John and Joseph is holding Joseph,” Adam replied.

Joe looked up at Adam. “Joseph after Grandpa?” he asked.

“No Joseph Francis after my brother and his uncle and Godfather,” he replied. Joe had tears come to his eyes. “Thank you,” he said looking at his brother then Sarah who had tears in her eyes then looking back down at his namesake.

“Well I know one thing. Now that all the babies are named after your family I won’t have to cry the next time we name one.

“Oh I think you will,” Hoss replied holding his namesake who was happy to be in Uncle Hoss’s arms.

“How so Hoss?” Sarah asked.

“Well you’ve named a baby after me and Pa and Joe. I know Adam said he didn’t want a son named after him so that leaves only one person left to name him after,” he replied.

“Who?” Sarah asked.

“Hop Sing,” he replied. They all laughed.

A year and a half later Adam Christopher was born. Sarah insisted on the name. Adam for the husband she loved so much and Christopher for the brother she lost many years before. Two years later they were surprised with their last child. A little girl whom they named Molly Ann after the sister Sarah knew as a child and adored.

Joe went on to marry a second time after the death of his first wife.
Placing his newborn son in Adam’s arms he said, “His name is Adam Stoddard Cartwright after you older brother. Adam looked up at Joe and smiled.
Sarah put her arms around Adam’s back. “Thank you,” Adam said overjoyed.
He looked over at Joe’s wife Alicia and thanked her as well.

“I have to say Adam that one of the prerequisites of marrying Joe was I had to promise to name our first son after you,” she said.

“Adam would you agree to be his Godfather?” Joe asked.

“I’d be most honored,” Adam replied. “Thank you both.” Adam got tears in his eyes. Joe came up to him. Sarah and Alicia shared glances with each other knowing what was wrong. Ben stood there choking back his tears and noticing the loss of the son that wasn’t in the room to share this event with them. “I miss Hoss so,” Adam said crying. Joe hugged him. “I know,” he replied.

Later that day Adam watched his son Eric riding the horse that his brother Hoss had given to him. Sarah came up behind him putting her hands on his shoulders. “He’s so much like your brother Hoss I can’t believe it,” she said. Adam took her hand in his. “I was just thinking that myself. He’s just like him inside. So kind and gentle. I guess it’s true what my father used to tell me about my mother. That even though we die part of us lives on in those born to us. It’s definitely evident in this case,” he said.

THE END

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