The Closed Door
By: Helen B
As Joe Cartwright reached the front door of the Ponderosa ranch house, the door was suddenly pulled open and his father stood there, seeming to bar entry to the house.
Joe stood there for a moment, unsure of how to begin to make the apology he’d been running through his mind all the way home. Earlier that day, he and his father had argued and Joe was ashamed of the hurtful words he’d flung at his father in anger.
Joe looked into his father’s eyes, took a deep breath and said, “Pa, I’m sorry, I had no right to….”
Ben cut him off. “Joseph, I don’t want to hear it. You made it clear to me that you are not happy living here, so I think it’s best for all of us if you live and work somewhere else.”
Joe starred at his father in shock. He’d said nothing about not being happy on the Ponderosa. “But, Pa…” Joe started, but once again he was cut off by Ben.
“It’s all been said, Joe. You are no longer welcome in this house. I think it’s best if you leave now. I don’t want you setting foot inside.”
Never had Joe expected to hear words like that from his father and the hurt cut deep. Tears started to come to Joe’s eyes and he quickly turned away, determined not to let his father see him cry. Joe heard the door click shut behind him.
Joe slowly walked over to his horse Cochise, his head was swimming and he had to hold on tightly to the saddle to keep from falling. Taking a deep breath he pulled himself up into the saddle. He looked back at the home he’d lived in all his life and wondered if this would be the last time he saw it. Turning Cochise, Joe motioned the horse forward.
From the window in his office, Ben watched as his youngest son rode away without once looking back.
****
Joe rode into Virginia City and after tying Cochise to the hitching rail outside the bank he went inside.
“Hello, Little Joe,” the teller smiled at the young man she’d known for years.
“Hello, Eliza. How are you?” Joe asked.
“Fine, Little Joe. I’m looking forward to the dance on Saturday night. Will you be there?”
Joe shook his head. “No.”
“Are you all right?” Eliza asked, he was usually so friendly, the young woman knew something must be bothering Joe for him to be so quite.
Forcing himself to smile, he said, “No, nothings wrong. I want to draw all my money out though, Eliza. And close my account.”
Joe only had five hundred dollars in his own bank account but he knew it would last him until he found some work.
After Eliza closed the account, she handed him the money. “Here you are, Little Joe.”
“Thanks,” Joe replied, as he put the money in his jacket pocket. “Goodbye, Eliza,” he said quietly as he left the bank. The young woman frowned as he left, thinking that the goodbye had sounded so final.
Walking over to the general store, Joe brought enough supplies to last him for a week as well as some clothes since he hadn’t taken any with him when he’d left the ranch and he had no intention of going back for any of his belongings.
As Joe was tying the saddlebags onto his horse, Sheriff Coffee walked up to him and smiled as he asked, “Business or pleasure?”
“What?” Joe asked, startled. He’d been deep in thought and hadn’t heard the sheriff walk up beside him.
Roy nodded at the saddlebags and clarified, “You’re obviously headin’ off somewhere. I was just wonderin’ if it was for business or pleasure.”
“Neither,” Joe answered, as he finished tying the bags on and turned back to face the sheriff. “I’m leaving,” he said, simply.
Roy looked at the young man in confusion and then frowned as the words sunk in. “Do you mean you’re leavin’ permanently? You’re leavin’ the Ponderosa?”
Joe nodded. “I have no intention of setting foot there ever again.”
“What’s happened?” the sheriff asked.
Joe shrugged. “You better ask my father.”
“Little Joe, I….” Roy started but broke off not knowing what to say.
Joe held out his hand and as they shook hands, said, “Bye Roy.” He then swung onto his horse and rode away, leaving Roy standing staring after him.
Roy watched until Joe turned a corner and was out of sight. He was wondering if he should go out to the Ponderosa to see Ben when he heard a commotion down the street and he realized there was a fight going on in one of the saloons, he headed down the street to break it up.
**********
Joe left Virginia City with the intention of riding as far away from the Ponderosa as he could but without even realizing it, he once again found himself on the road leading to the only home he’d ever known. Joe’s head was pounding and he felt sick but he knew he couldn’t leave things the way they were. He and his father had argued many times over the years but never had his Pa reacted this way. He had to talk to his father again. He headed home.
As Joe rode up to the house a shot rang out, the force of the bullet hitting him knocked Joe from the saddle.
**********
The sun was just starting to set when Adam and Hoss rode into the Ponderosa ranch yard. They were both surprised to see Cochise loose in the yard. It wasn’t like Joe to leave his horse like that. Going over to Cochise, Hoss reached for the reins and stopped suddenly. In the fading light, he could just make out a patch of blood that showed on the horse’s coat. “Adam!” he called urgently.
Adam quickly walked over to his brother and Hoss quietly said, “It’s blood, Adam,” as he showed him the mark. “I can’t see any wounds on Cochise. It has to be Joe’s blood.” With one quick look at each other, both brothers ran for the house. Adam reached the door first and flung it open, Hoss following a half step behind. Adam stopped so suddenly that Hoss nearly knocked him off his feet when he ran into his older brother.
Tied, gagged and bound to a chair was their father. The two brothers rushed forward to untie him.
“Have you seen Joe?” Ben asked anxiously, as soon as the gag was removed.
“No,” Adam replied, looking around and seeing things turned over and draws opened, he asked, “What happened? Who did this to you?”
“Four men,” Ben said as he rubbed his wrists where the rope had cut into them, “I didn’t hear them, they surprised me when I came into the house. Joe came back here about noon while they were still here. They told me to get Joe to leave. They said if I didn’t, they’d kill him. I couldn’t take the risk that they meant it.”
“Joe was here but he left?” Adam asked, confused as to why Cochise was in the yard if Joe had left.
Ben nodded and Hoss asked. “How did you get Joe to go?”
Ben swallowed and both sons saw the sadness on their father’s face as he replied, “I told Joseph that he was no longer welcome here and I wanted him to leave. I told him he was no longer welcome in this house.
“You didn’t,” Hoss said shocked.
“I had to get him to leave,” Ben said, clearly upset.
Hoss shook his head. “Joe would never believe that.”
Tears came to Ben’s eyes. “He believed me.”
“No,” Adam said, “Joe wouldn’t….”
Ben broke in. “We had an argument this morning. We both said things we shouldn’t have. Joe wasn’t planning on coming home for lunch. I don’t know why he did.”
“But why would you say that to him!” Hoss asked, anguished, “Of all the things you could have said to get Joe away from the house, why that?” Hoss turned and stalked away from his father. He knew how much those words would have hurt his brother and now to think of him out there somewhere hurt and alone was unbearable to the man who had comforted and protected his little brother since the day he was born. Hoss knew though, that his father felt the same way and he understood that he’d been trying to protect Joe but he was also angry, feeling his father should have said anything but what he did.
Turning back to face Ben, Hoss was struck by the devastated look on his father’s face. “I’m sorry, Pa,” he said, not knowing what else to say. He could see how distressed his father was and looking at Adam he could see he felt the same way. Their father needed their support. “Don’t worry, Pa,” he said, trying to reassure him, “We’ll find Joe.” He suddenly remembered Cochise. “Pa,” he said, “Cochise is out in the yard.”
“He can’t be,” Ben said, “I saw Joe ride away,” he frowned in thought, “Unless….unless he came back! Ben tried to pull himself together. “We have to find him. If his horse is here, Joe must be around somewhere.” Ben started to hurry towards the front door.
“Pa,” Adam grabbed his father’s arm, he didn’t want to worry him more but Adam knew he had to tell him what they’d found, “Cochise has blood on him. It looks like Joe’s hurt.”
“I heard a shot,” Ben said frantically, suddenly remembering the noise he had heard not long before the men had ridden away, “We have to find him.” He rushed to the door. The three men thoroughly searched the yard and barn, everywhere Joe could possibly be but apart from the blood on Cochise and some on the ground, there was no sign of him. The hands had returned to the bunkhouse and helped to search.
Ben, Adam and Hoss stood in front of the house, deciding what they should do next.
“Pa, do you think those men took Joe for some reason?” Adam hoped that wasn’t what had happened but he could think of no other explanation for Joe’s disappearance.
Ben nodded. “It does look that way.”
“We can start tracking them,” Hoss said.
“We’ll have to wait until morning,” Adam replied.
“We can’t wait,” Hoss said sharply, “there’s no telling how bad Little Joe’s hurt. We have to find him as soon as we can.”
“We will, Hoss,” Adam fought down his own anxiety, “but we can’t track them in the dark, it’s too easy to miss a sign. We need to wait.”
“As much as I hate to admit it,” Ben said reluctantly, “Adam’s right. If we tried to find them in the dark the only thing we’d accomplish is to destroy the signs of which way they went.”
“I’m sorry,” Hoss hung his head sadly, “I know you’re right. It’s just so hard to wait around and do nothing when I know Joe needs us.”
Ben put his arm around his big son’s shoulders. “We’ll get everything ready and leave at first light.”
“Pa,” Adam said, “we should go into town and talk to Roy. Maybe if you describe the men he might know who they are. We’d know who we’re dealing with then.”
“Yes, Adam, you’re right,” Ben replied.
“You go and do that,” Hoss said, “and I’ll get everything here organized.”
Ben patted Hoss’ back. “Thank you, son.”
**********
Sitting at his desk, Roy looked up when the door opened. “Ben, Adam,” he greeted the men, “Are you here looking for Joe?”
“What?” Adam asked, shocked, “How do you know we’re looking for Joe?”
“He was in town earlier today,” Roy replied, “I saw him about two o’clock. I was going to go out to the Ponderosa but something came up and then I thought, well,” the sheriff paused, uncomfortable, “it’s not really any of my business.”
Ben and Adam looked at Roy in confusion and Ben asked, “What’s not any of your business? What are you talking about, Roy?”
“Joe told me he was leaving the Ponderosa, Ben,” Roy said, “I asked him why he was leaving and he said I should ask you. He seemed real upset about something.”
“What have I done?” Ben sat down heavily, his legs suddenly feeling weak. “I knew he believed me.”
“It’ll be all right, Pa,” Adam said, putting a hand on his father’s leg.
Ben shook his head. “How can it be all right? Joe’s out there somewhere believing I wanted him to leave.”
“What happened?” Roy asked.
**********
“And you have no idea who the men were, Ben?” Roy asked after he had heard what had happened out at the Ponderosa.
Ben shook his head. “No, as I said when I described them to you, I only got a look at three of them and I’ve never seen them before. I didn’t see the fourth one, he stayed out of sight but I knew he was there.”
“Going by your descriptions, they don’t sound familiar to me either,” he went over to his desk and got some papers that he handed to Ben. “Here’s some new wanted posters, have a look through those.”
When Ben had finished looking through the posters, he handed them back to Roy. “Nothing,” he said in frustration.
“Ben,” Roy said, hesitatingly, “are you sure that Joe hasn’t just left?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Roy,” Adam snapped, “Joe wouldn’t have left without his horse and the blood on Cochise says something has happened to him.”
“I agree that’s what it does indicate but when I talked to Joe just before he left town,” Roy paused, not wanting to hurt Ben but he had no option, he had to tell Ben what his son had said, “he was very hurt and very angry. I’ve never seen him like that before. Joe said he was never going to set foot on the Ponderosa ever again. Seemed like he meant it to me.”
Ben slumped in his chair, his face pale. Once more Adam reached out and placed a comforting hand on his father’s leg and said, “We’ll find Joe and tell him why you said what you did. He’ll understand, Pa.” Ben just shook his head.
**********
Ben and Adam headed home after arranging with Roy that the sheriff would get word straight to them if he heard anything concerning Joe. Roy wanted to go with them to help them with the search but he was without a deputy as the previous one had just quit and he was unable to leave the town for very long.
When the two men reached home, one of the hands came out of the bunkhouse. “I’m sorry about Joe,” Steve said, “We’ll all be ready to start lookin’ for him at first light.”
“Thanks Steve,” Adam replied, “We appreciate it.”
“I’ll put your horses away,” Steve said, taking the horses and leading them to the barn.
Hoss pulled open the front door. “I thought I heard you,” he said, “Any news?” although by the look on the faces of his father and brother he already knew the answer.
Adam shook his head. “You?” he asked.
“Not really,” Hoss replied, as Ben and Adam came inside, shutting the door behind them.
“You know something though?” Ben asked, hopefully.
Hoss was immediately sorry that he’d raised his father’s hopes. “Not about where Joe is, Pa. I just couldn’t understand how Joe could have believed what you said to him though. Joe knows you better than that. Pete just told me somethin’ that helps make some sense of it.”
Peter, one of the top hands on the ranch came out of the kitchen carrying a cup of coffee. “Mr Cartwright,” he said, “I’m so sorry about Joe.”
“Thank you, Pete,” Ben replied, “Hoss was just telling us that you have some information about Joe. What is it?”
“When Joe was trying to break that big black this mornin’, he took a real hard fall. Knocked himself out. When he came to, he said he was all right. He kept rubbing his head though. I think it must have been hurtin’ bad. He had to have had one heck of a headache. I told Joe he should go home and when he didn’t argue with me that’s when I knew for sure he wasn’t well.”
Ben frowned. “How bad was he hurt?” he asked, his concern growing even more, “Why didn’t you ride back here with him or send someone else with him?” he asked angrily.
Pete looked guilty, knowing that’s what he should have done. “I was intending to,” he said, honestly, “but Joe wouldn’t have it. He told us to go and check the fence line in the north pasture, he said he could get home himself. I am sorry. I shouldn’t have let Joe have his own way about that.”
Ben shook his head. “No, I’m sorry, Pete. It’s not your fault. I know how Joseph can be. And there’s no telling what might have happened if someone had ridden up to the house with Joe today anyway. They might have just killed you both.”
“It didn’t seem like Joe broke anything,” Pete said, “he was a bit stiff but he was movin’ all right.”
“But we don’t know how serious his head injury is,” Ben replied worriedly.
Pete nodded in reluctant agreement.
“Pa,” Hoss said, “I think that’s why Little Joe reacted the way he did. There’s no way Joe would have believed you were serious about wanting him to leave, no matter what you said. Little Joe would have realized somethin’ wasn’t right,” Hoss paused and then continued, “Well, normally he would have realized but I think what with hitting his head and all, he just wasn’t thinkin’ clearly.”
Adam nodded. “I think you’re right, Hoss. I couldn’t understand how Joe believed it either but it all makes sense now.”
Ben rubbed a hand across his eyes and Pete, feeling he should leave the family alone, said, “I’ll make sure the men are ready. I’ll see you in the morning.” The Cartwrights hardly noticed him leaving. They were all deep in their own thoughts.
“Pa,” Adam said, “What did you and Joe argue about?”
“Same thing we’ve been arguing about for the last week,” Ben replied.
“The horse sale,” Adam said and Ben nodded. There was going to be a horse auction in San Francisco next month and Joe had asked his father for a couple of weeks off so that he could go. Ben had told him that it was a bad time of the year and they were too busy for him to take time off. For the last week, Joe had been trying to get Ben to change his mind.
“What happened?” Adam asked.
Ben shook his head. “You know how keen he is to get some new breeding stock since he’s gotten those latest contracts in place. He asked me how he could be expected to do a good job if I wouldn’t let him do things his way. He has a point. I don’t know why I was being so stubborn about it. Normally I’d have given in to Joe and let him go but I guess I was just determined that this time he wouldn’t get his own way.”
“Oh, Pa,” Adam said, regretfully, “It was because of what I said, wasn’t it?” He remembered the day Joe had first asked for time off, later, Adam had jokingly told Ben that it wouldn’t be long until Joe had convinced Ben to let him do exactly as he wanted to.
“It’s not your fault, Adam,” Ben said, quickly, “Don’t blame yourself.”
“You shouldn’t blame yourself either,” Adam said quietly, “but I know that you do.”
“The argument seems so trivial now, it was nothing. It would have blown over by tonight. We both would have apologized and,” Ben looked at Adam and admitted, “I would have told Joe he could go.”
Ben stared into the fire as he quietly said, “I’d give anything to be able to tell Joseph that he can go.”
**********
Joe woke to an overwhelming feeling of being cold. He tried to move but pain shot through his body immediately halting the movement. Trying to keep as still as possible, Joe looked around. Night had fallen and it was hard to see anything but he could just make out the shapes of two men standing over near a couple of horses. Looking up at the stars, he guessed it to be around eight o’clock.
Joe shook his head, trying to clear his mind and realized immediately that the movement had been a mistake when a feeling of sickness came over him. He became aware of the pain in his right shoulder and the wetness of his jacket, knowing it was blood that soaked it. Joe tried to move his arm but the pain was so excruciating it almost took his breath away and he had to bite his lip to stop himself from crying out.
Unbeknown to Joe, the men had gone to the Ponderosa thinking that no one was at home. While they were there Ben Cartwright had arrived home and they had surprised and over powered him. Joe had ridden up to the house not long after that and the men had been furious that their plan was falling apart. They thought the best way to handle the situation was to get Ben to make sure Joe didn’t come into the house. After Joe had left, the men had ransacked the house, going from room to room and then they forced Ben to open the safe, they were angry when they found very little money in there. The four men had been debating their next move when they had heard a horse ride up, looking out they’d seen that Joe had come back. One of the men had pulled his gun and shot him, watching Joe fall from the saddle.
Going outside the men had found Joe alive but unconscious. Worried that someone might have heard the shot they decided the best thing to do was to take Joe with them and get away as quickly as possible. They could decide later on their next move. One of the men had roughly thrown Joe belly down across the saddle and climbed on behind him, then they rode out. It had been getting late when the men had left the Ponderosa and they had ridden until the sun had started to set and then stopped to rest the horses. Two of the men had then ridden on, thinking it might be harder to track them down if they split up. Throughout this, Joe had remained unconscious.
As Joe watched now, one of the men walked away towards some trees and the other walked towards Joe. The man noticed movement as he got closer and he realized Joe was awake. When he reached Joe, the man nudged him with the toe of his boot.
“Who are you?” Joe asked, looking up, “What do you want?”
The man ignored Joe’s question and asked a question of his own, “You’re Joe Cartwright, aren’t you?” When Joe didn’t answer, the man squatted down beside him and said, “I asked you a question. I expect you to answer, boy,” he cruelly reached out and squeezed Joe’s wounded shoulder.
“Yes!” Joe screamed.
The man laughed and released his hold. He knew who Joe was. Ben had told the men it was his son when Joe had ridden up to the house the first time, but the men had recognized Joe anyway, from seeing him around town.
“Well, Joe Cartwright, we’ll just have to see how much you’re worth to your father.”
“Not much,” Joe muttered softly.
“You better hope you’re wrong,” the man said as he roughly pulled him up. Joe swayed and closed his eyes for a moment as once again everything started to swim around him.
“Tom, what are you doing!” The other man called across, he’d just come back after going to get some water.
“Just havin’ some fun,” Tom replied.
“I need to talk to you now,” the man shouted as he flung the canteens down.
Tom pushed Joe to the ground. “Stay there and don’t move,” he said as he walked over to talk to his companion.
The fall had made Joe gasp with pain and he struggled not to let unconsciousness claim him. He concentrated on keeping his eyes on the men. He saw one of them push the other. He couldn’t hear what was being said but it looked like they were arguing. Moving his left arm slightly he reached down for his gun only to find the holster empty.
Knowing he might not have another opportunity to escape, Joe knew he had to take a chance now. Taking a deep breath, he got to his feet and ran. There were shouts behind him but Joe kept running. He didn’t think the men would chase him far in the dark, at least, he hoped they wouldn’t.
It was almost impossible for any of them to see where they were going and there were curses as men fell or ran into something.
Joe paused to get his bearings. It was difficult in the dark but they were still on the Ponderosa and he knew the area well. “Widow’s Fall,” Joe muttered to himself as he decided which direction to take and started to run again.
Joe stoped for a moment to catch his breath and could hear one pair of footsteps, he guessed the men had separated or the second man was somewhere behind the first. He heard someone shout, “Ain’t no use trying to hide boy. When I find you I’ll make you sorry you ran.”
Joe knew the man was gaining on him. He ran a bit further and then positioned himself and waited.
Suddenly, a terrified scream rang through the night air. There was a thump and then silence.
Joe’s plan had worked. He had headed for a place where the ground just seemed to drop away to nothingness, Widow’s Fall, he had hoped the men wouldn’t know it was there. It was a dangerous place, in the dark it couldn’t be seen. Joe breathed heavily, he knew he had reduced his pursuers to one now.
The second man was a fair distance behind the first but he heard the scream. Suspecting what had happened, the man quickly searched around for a stick, holding it to the ground, he cautiously walked forward until the ground ran out. Picking up a large rock, the man threw it and counted until he heard it hit below. He knew no one could have survived that fall.
“Why!” the man screamed, “Why did you have to kill him! You won’t get away with this. I’m going to get you if it’s the last thing I do. You’re a dead man!”
Joe stood still, not wanting to make any noise. Something in the back of his mind said the voice sounded familiar but he pushed that away. He couldn’t think about that now. He wondered what the man would do. Joe hoped the man would stay there until daylight and then climb down to his friend, giving him enough time to get away but Joe’s hopes were dashed when he heard the man beating the bushes with his stick.
Joe tried to control his breathing. It seemed so loud to him that he was sure the man would hear it. What to do? What to do? What to do? The words kept pounding in Joe’s head until he wanted to scream in answer, ‘I don’t know what to do!’ If he stayed where he was, maybe the man wouldn’t find him in the dark but Joe knew he had to reach help soon, his shoulder was bleeding badly again and he felt so sick he could barely stand. Joe knew if he didn’t reach help soon he would die.
“Pa,” Joe whispered, “ Please help me.”
**********
Back at the Ponderosa ranch house, Ben paced the floor in his room. He knew he would get no sleep this night, his mind too full of worry for his youngest son. Ben knew that wherever Joe was, he needed his father. Ben stopped pacing and looked out at the night. “Hold on, Joseph,” he said quietly, “Hold on, son. I’m coming.”
**********
Joe’s legs trembled as he forced himself to move. Every time he stumbled and fell, he forced himself to get up and keep going. The man behind Joe followed him like a shadow. When Joe ran he could hear the man running behind him. When Joe stopped, the man stopped.
When Joe was a child he’d spent many nights looking up at the stars with his father as Ben taught him the names and positions of many of them and even how to work out directions by looking at them. Joe looked up at the stars now hoping they could help him find his way home.
**********
At the first glimpse of sunrise the men at the Ponderosa were mounted and ready to ride out.
They followed the trail until they reached where the men they were tracking had stopped to rest. Two horses were still there along with all the gear but there was no sign of anyone else. They looked around and found the tracks where two other horses had been ridden away. Ben knelt down and touched a piece of ground where there was a large patch of dried blood.
“Over here,” Adam called, pointing he said, “Looks like they’ve run this way.” They followed the trail until they reached Widow’s Fall.
Looking down the men saw a body at the bottom. “No,” Ben whispered, unable to tear his eyes away from the body, “Please don’t let it be Joe.”
The clothes on the body were torn and from such a distance it was hard to get a good look. It didn’t appear to be Joe but they couldn’t be sure. “I’ll go down, Pa,” Adam said.
“No, Adam, I….” Ben started to say.
“I’m going, Pa,” Adam broke in. The men quickly got their ropes tied together and Adam made his way down to the bottom as quickly as he could.
Relief flooded through Adam when he reached the body and turned it over. “It’s not Joe!” he called, “It’s not Joe!”
“Thank God,” Ben said, looking up at the sky. Taking a deep breath he got back to the task at hand. “Is he dead, Adam?” Ben called out.
“Yes, Pa,” Adam shouted back, “There’s no sign anyone else has been down here.”
One of the hands called, “Mr Cartwright, over here.” When Ben walked over the hand pointed at some prints and said, “Two men on foot.” Ben squatted down to look closer at the prints.
Adam had tied a rope around the body and it was hauled up. After Adam made it back to the top, he and Hoss walked over to Ben. Their father pointed in the direction the tracks led and said, “Two men. Still on foot.”
Having left the place where the men had stopped with their horses and followed the tracks so quickly on their way to Widow’s Fall, Hoss hadn’t had a good look at the prints, now he carefully touched one of the footprints. “Joe,” he said.
Adam looked at him curiously. “How can you be sure?” he asked.
Hoss pointed to a mark within the print. “Joe’s wearin’ his favourite boots. The one’s with a hole in the bottom of one of them.”
A smile flickered on Ben’s lips as he remembered only recently that he’d told Joe he should throw those boots out but Joe had laughed and said he liked them because they were worn in just the way he wanted them. The smile quickly faded as Ben looked at the second set of prints and then he reached out and touched one of the blood drops that were sprinkled on the ground. “Let’s go,” he said urgently.
**********
Joe welcomed the warmth when the sun rose but it wasn’t long before he was wishing the heat away, the sweat pouring off him as he ran.
Joe knew he was almost home when he reached the trail leading to the house. His legs trembled so badly he could barely stand let alone run. His shoulder had bled steadily, taking even more of his energy.
Joe staggered on, relief flooding through him at the sight of the house. Joe looked over his shoulder. He had kept ahead of the man who was following, enough that they hadn’t caught sight of each other but Joe knew he was there, still following. “Pa,” Joe tried to call but his throat was so dry, no words came out.
Joe stopped. Bending over he fought the feeling of sickness that threatened to send him to his knees as he tried to draw in deep breaths of air. Hearing footsteps behind him, Joe forced himself to move, taking a shaky step and then another.
As Joe reached the porch he heard more noises behind him, he turned, knowing the man was almost upon him.
The man came around the corner of the barn and Joe stared at him in shock. The man had his gun drawn and it was pointed directly at Joe. Joe stared at the man in confusion. “Why?” he whispered before his legs gave way and he collapsed to the ground.
**********
The Cartwrights and their hands rode on, following the trail.
“He’s almost home,” Hoss said, looking down at the tracks and the blood that accompanied them. He wondered how Joe could still be on his feet considering the amount of blood he was losing.
Adam nodded, “Yes,” he agreed, “but he’s still being followed, too.”
“And with Hop Sing in San Francisco there’s no one at home,” Ben said grimly, “Lets ride.” Ben urgently spurred his horse forward, the others quickly followed.
**********
Riding up to the house, Ben’s heart nearly stopped at the sight that met him. Joe lay on the porch, his shirt covered in blood. A man held Joe in his arms, his head bowed.
The man looked up and the three elder Cartwright’s looked back at him in shock.
“Danny,” Adam said in amazement.
Danny Kidd, a man Joe had befriended about ten months ago looked back at them. Danny had been working on a chain gang when the horse Joe was riding had spooked, throwing him from the saddle. With his foot caught in the stirrup, Joe had been dragged along the ground when the horse had bolted. Danny had saved Joe by stoping the horse. Joe and Ben had arranged to have Danny released into their custody and he had come to work on the Ponderosa.
Knowing how much Danny enjoyed working with horses, three months ago Joe had gotten Danny a job working at a stable in Virginia City. It was a job Danny loved.
There wasn’t time for questions now. Ben’s only concern was Joe. He was off his horse and pulling Joe from Danny’s arms and into his own in a matter of moments. Adam and Hoss quickly knelt beside them.
“He’s alive,” said Ben, without taking his eyes from the face of his youngest son.
“Let’s get him inside,” Adam said, carefully trying to pull his young brother from their father’s arms but Ben resisted. “Please, Pa,” he said, “Let us take him.” Ben reluctantly moved aside to allow Adam and Hoss to pick their brother up.
Adam looked up as one of the ranch hands said, “I’ll go for the doctor.”
“And Roy Coffee,” Adam called, seeing the hand nod that he’d heard before he rode out.
“Is there anything we can do to help?” one of the other men asked.
“Look around,” Adam replied, “see if you can find any sign of the man who was following Joe.” Hoss and Adam lifted Joe and carried him inside.
**********
Once Joe was upstairs and in his room, Ben sat beside him and tried to rouse him but there was no movement or sound from him.
Ben and Hoss gently started to take Joe’s bloody clothes off him as Adam went to get some water, bandages and anything else he thought they’d need. Passing Danny in the doorway, Adam glared at him and said, “So help me Danny, if you had anything to do with this, I’ll kill you.”
“Adam,” Ben said sharply, “Leave it for now.” With one more hard look at Danny, Adam left the room.
**********
The family waited anxiously for Doctor Paul Marin to arrive. They’d done all they could for Joe, now with his temperature rising, they tried to cool him down as they waited. The room was crowded but no one wanted to leave it.
Adam looked out the window at the sound of horses. “Doctor’s here,” he said, relief in his voice, “And Roy.” He went downstairs to show the doctor up.
“Let me have a look,” Paul said as he came into the room and walked over to the bed, laying his hand on Joe’s forehead. “He’s got quiet a fever going.”
Ben nodded, pointing to the bandage around Joe’s shoulder, he said, “He’s been shot. The bullet’s gone straight through. It happened yesterday.”
While Paul examined Joe, he said, “The man you sent in to get me told me a bit about what happened. Joe walked quite a distance for a well man let alone someone who’s in the condition he is. Has he been conscious at all since he’s been home?”
Ben, Adam and Hoss all shook their heads. “No,” Adam said, “He’s been completely out of it.”
“He was conscious when I first saw him on the porch,” Danny said, all eyes turned to look at him, almost having forgotten he was there. “He knew who I was but before I could reach him he collapsed.”
“Joe had a bad fall off a horse yesterday mornin’ Doc,” Hoss said, “He hit his head real hard. Do you think that’s why he’s unconscious now?”
“It might be,” the doctor replied. Paul pulled away the bandages to have a look at the wound and then rolled up his sleeves as he said, “Leave him with me. I’ll see what I can do about clearing up this infection.” When no one moved, he said, “I can’t work with all of you in here, it’s too crowded. The sooner you leave the sooner I can do something to help Joe.”
Ben reached out a hand and stroked the hair back from Joe’s forehead. “I won’t be far away, Joseph,” he promised, “Just downstairs.” Reluctantly he left the room. As the others started to follow, Adam paused at the door and said, I’ll bring up some clean water.” Paul nodded his thanks.
Adam took the water up to Paul Martin and then joined his family in the great room where they were talking with Roy Coffee, they told him what had happened since they’d last spoken with him. The Cartwrights had just been informed by their foreman that there was no sign of anyone around the yard.
Turning to Danny Kidd, Ben asked, “What are you doing here, Danny? How did you come to be here today of all days?”
Danny paced the floor. He knew the family would be furious when they learnt the truth. Knowing he couldn’t put it off any longer, he turned to face Ben.
“I didn’t just turn up and find Joe. I was following him.”
The Cartwrights starred at him in confusion but as the meaning of his words sunk in that confusion turned to fury.
Hoss was across the room in a moment, his fist slammed into Danny’s face sending him reeling across the room to crash in a heap on the floor. Hoss went after him, fists clenched.
Ben and Adam grabbed Hoss and tried to pull him back but the big man was too angry and he started to shake them off.
“Hoss!” Ben shouted, “I know how you feel but this isn’t helping. Let Danny tell us how this happened. Son, come on now, please calm down.”
Hoss stood still but his anger was obvious as he looked at Danny and said, “You said you were Joe’s friend! He trusted you! You better have a good reason for doin’ what you done. Ifin you don’t, I’m gonna tear you limb from limb and ain’t no one gonna be able to stop me.”
“I won’t even try to stop you, Hoss,” Adam said and then he turned to Danny, “Start talking.”
Danny slowly got to his feet, wiping the blood from his mouth. He walked over to the settee and sat down. “You have to believe me,” he said, “I never meant to hurt Joe.” When he received only cold stares in return, Danny started his story.
“Since I’ve been working at Murphy’s Stables I’ve been going into Carson City twice a week. Mr Murphy sends me over there for a bit of work as well. I guess I sort of fell in with some men that I shouldn’t have.”
“We gave you a chance to get out of prison and go straight and you’ve thrown that back in our faces,” Adam said bitterly.
“It’s not like that,” Danny said.
“It seems like you and trouble are never far apart, Danny,” Adam replied.
Danny ignored the comment, hoping to make them understand why he’d done it. “When they mentioned doing some robberies around Virginia City I knew I had to do something to make sure you were all alright. You’ve done so much for me, I wanted to do something to help you.”
“Oh, you’ve been a big help,” Adam said sarcastically.
“Adam,” Ben said, warningly, trying to calm his son.
“I went to see a Marshal, Marshal Stephens,” Danny got back to his story, “He’d been aware of the men and what they were planning but he didn’t know who they all were. Neither did I. I think there were about 10 of them altogether. I only knew three. The three who were here at the house with me, Carl Willis, Mark Simmons and the one who died was Tom Parkinson. Marshal Stephens wanted me to join them, to go along with them. Make out I was one of them. He hoped once they accepted me we might be able to find out who the others were. The ones in charge of it all. But the plan fell apart.”
With great difficulty, Adam refrained from making a sarcastic comment.
Danny licked his lips nervously and continued, “I was here yesterday.”
Ben frowned and said, “You were here yesterday? Here at the house?” At Danny’s nod he said, “You were the man who stayed out of sight.” Once again Danny nodded.
“There’s no end to your betrayal is there, Danny,” Adam said, as he saw his father about to comment, he continued, “No, Pa, I won’t stay silent. You were held at gunpoint yesterday. Joe was shot and God knows what else the boy’s been through since he was taken from here. And you,” he turned his furious gaze on Danny, “You call yourself a friend. Joe almost died, he still might and you have the cheek to sit there and tell us that you were helping us. Help!” Adam all but spat the word out, “What a joke. You are responsible for what’s happened to Joe.”
“I can’t deny that,” Danny said sadly, “It is my fault. We didn’t expect there to be anyone here at the house. I wasn’t riding Conco just in case someone did happen to see us and recognized him. We were supposed to just look around,” He looked at Ben, “But things started to go wrong when you came home, Mr Cartwright. You have to believe me, Sir. I’d give anything to be able to change what happened. Marshal Stephens said it was extremely important that I not tell anyone what I was doing or trying to find out. I realize how stupid that was now. I should have come straight to you and none of this would have happened. My years probation isn’t up yet and I was afraid that if I refused to do what the Marshal wanted, that he would have me sent back to prison.”
“I wouldn’t have allowed that to happen, Danny,” Ben said.
“I thought it would be all right. At the time I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn’t know Joe had come back to the house until after he’d been shot and then everything happened so quickly. The others took off and I went with them. When I realized what had happened and that they had Joe, I had to go with them. I knew that someone would come back to the house and find you. Joe was unconscious. Tom had him slung over his horse with him. Later, when we stopped to rest the horses, one of the men, Carl, said Joe was slowing us down. He wanted to kill him,” Ben drew his breath in sharply at hearing those words.
Danny looked guiltily at Ben and said, “He said he wished he’d killed you as well, sir. He said we shouldn’t have left a witness alive,” he saw the angry looks on the faces of the Cartwrights and licked his lips nervously before continuing, “Tom wanted to keep Joe alive. He said it would be like keeping a card up his sleeve. They decided to split up, thinking they might be harder to find. Before the other two left, Carl told Tom to do whatever he wanted with Joe as long as it didn’t end up leading the law back to him. After they left, Tom pulled Joe down from the horse. He was still out to it. Tom started to think he could maybe get a ransom from you for Joe. We argued. I didn’t think there was anything else I could do except try and get Joe away from Tom.”
Danny paused, taking a deep breath before going on. “I told Tom that Joe was my friend and I was taking him out of there. I told him that he could let us go or die trying to stop us. It was his choice. You know I’m no good with a gun and my hand was shaking. I don’t know what would have happened. Next thing I knew, Joe was up and running. I guess he saw an opportunity to get away and he took it. I was distracted, I went to call out to Joe but Tom grabbed my gun, he hit me with it, stunned me. I was knocked down. I heard him fire and start to chase Joe. By the time I got to my feet they were a long way in front of me.”
Danny got up from his seat and started to pace the floor, knowing the next part of his story would be the most difficult for the family to hear, he resumed his seat and continued, “It was dark and we were all stumbling around out there, we couldn’t see each other. I heard a scream and I don’t know why but I thought it was Joe. I thought Joe had fallen over the edge of the drop off. In my mind I was certain it was him and I was certain he was dead.”
Hoss had been pacing the floor like a caged animal. Always protective of his young brother it had been extremely hard for him to listen to Danny’s story and try to stay calm. He could stay calm no longer and he almost shook with anger. “You were certain,” Hoss shouted, “How could you have been so certain? Seems to me you ain’t certain of nothin’. What if it had been Joe who had fallen and what if he’d still been alive? You’d a left him there to die all alone.”
“I knew no one could have survived that fall. There’s no way they could. In my mind, Joe was dead and I felt responsible. I’d told Tom that Joe was my friend. I thought Tom had killed him. I was so upset, so angry at Tom. I swore I’d kill him. I yelled out that I would.”
Ben nodded knowingly and said, “And Joseph thought you meant to kill him, didn’t he?”
“Yes, sir,” Danny replied, “I’m afraid he did.”
“All night Little Joe was runnin’ from you thinkin’ you were tryin’ to kill him,” Hoss had tears in his eyes at the thought of what his little brother had been through, “How could you have done somethin’ that allowed Joe to think that?”
“Did you know anything about this ridiculous plan, Roy?” Ben asked angrily.
“No, Ben,” the Sheriff replied, “If I’d had any knowledge I would have told you. I’ve heard about this Marshal Stephens. He’s a man who likes to work alone. Likes to solve the cases on his own and get all the glory.”
“Glory!” Ben yelled, “He risked my son’s life for glory!”
“I know a few people I can get in touch with. I’ll see if I can talk to his superiors. See if they know what he was doing.”
Ben nodded. Danny sat still with his head hanging down. He couldn’t look at the family any longer knowing what he had done.
After Roy left, Ben looked at Danny. He could see how guilty the young man felt and he understood. He felt the same guilt. Taking a deep breath, he walked over to the settee and sat down beside Danny. Ben put his hand on Danny’s back and said, “It’s all right, Danny. I know you never meant for Joe to be hurt, anymore than I meant to hurt him with the words I said. We’ve both handled things badly. It can’t be changed now though and we have to put it behind us and concentrate on getting Joe well again.”
Danny refused to look up and meet Ben’s eyes, “But you were made to say what you did. They forced you to tell Joe that you were throwing him out. You didn’t have a choice.”
Adam frowned at Danny’s words and looked at his father. “Is that what happened, Pa? Did they make you tell Joe you wanted him to leave here?”
“Yes,” Ben admitted, not saying anymore.
“What did they say? Hoss asked, looking from his father to Danny.
“When Joe was riding up to the house that first time,” Danny said, “The men recognized him. They didn’t know Joe personally but they’d seen him around Carson City and knew his horse. Carl really seemed to hate him. I think he was jealous. He was always talking about how it wasn’t fair how much some people had when he had nothing. All the other men felt that way as well. They went along with what he said. When Carl saw him riding up, he thought it’d be funny to make your father tell Joe he was throwing him out. He told your father to tell Joe that he didn’t want him here anymore, that if he didn’t make Joe leave, he’d kill Joe then and there,” Danny shook his head, “I think he meant it.”
“Why didn’t you tell us that earlier?” Adam asked his father, looking at Hoss then back at his father he continued, “We couldn’t understand why you didn’t send Joe into town on an errand or to fix fences or….”
“Or anything but what I said,” Ben broke in sadly. “It doesn’t make any difference why I said it. I still said it. I should never have said those things to Joe. Never! I should have found a way to get a message to Joe or….”
This time it was Hoss who broke in, “You didn’t have time, Pa. If you had tried you might have gotten both you and Joe killed. I’m so sorry I was angry at you yesterday, Pa,” Hoss hung his head in shame, “I should have known you’d never have said something like that to Joe unless you’d really had to.”
“Thank you, Hoss,” Ben said, “But I’ll always wonder if I should have done things differently. Yelled a warning to Joe, tried to get a message to him,” he shook his head, “But at that moment I truly believed I was doing the best thing. I thought I was keeping Joe safe.”
“Pa,” Adam said, “You weren’t to know how things would turn out. He looked at Danny, knowing now that his anger at the young man was in the past, and then turned back to his father. “It’s not Danny’s fault and it’s not yours. The only ones to blame are the men who were planning and doing the robberies.”
“You should have told us that they made you say those things to Little Joe, Pa. You ain’t got nothin’ to feel guilty about,” Hoss said.
“I just felt so awful for saying them” Ben said sadly, “I still do. The hurt look on Joseph’s face is something I will never forget or forgive myself for. If Joe and I hadn’t argued earlier, I know he would never have believed me but the argument we had, probably his messed up thinking from that bad fall,” Ben shook his head, “it helped Joe to believe my words.”
Adam walked over and sat on the table in front of his father. “I know how you feel, Pa. I know how much you wish you hadn’t said those things to Joe but you have to accept that by saying what you did you may have saved Joe’s life. Maybe it’s a good thing Joe did believe you. If he hadn’t and had tried to force his way in, well….” Adam let his words trail off, they were all aware of what could have happened.
“Joe will understand when you explain, Pa,” Hoss said and everyone in the room prayed that Ben would have the chance to explain to Joe.
**********
Hours later Joe’s family were starring at the stairs, willing the doctor to come down and tell them that Joe was going to be all right. Finally they heard the door and jumped to their feet. Coming down the stairs, Paul said, “I’ve done what I can for him. He hasn’t regained consciousness yet.” Everyone immediately started for the stairs. “Wait,” Paul said, “I need to talk to you first. Joe is extremely ill. We are going to have a real fight on our hands to pull him through. Infection is going to be our biggest battle but Joe’s also beyond exhausted. I’m worried he won’t have the strength to fight the infection. He also has a concussion. He’s covered in cuts and bruises and although those are minor injuries, they are adding to his pain. In the condition he’s in, it’s a miracle he managed to make it home at all.”
“I need to be with him,” Ben said, pushing past the doctor in his haste to get to his son, Adam and Hoss quickly followed him.
Ben walked into the bedroom and crossed the floor quickly to reach Joe. Looking down at his son, Ben clenched his hands in anguish. Laying his hand on Joe’s forehead he could feel the fever burning in him. Joe looked so ill and Ben felt inadequate in what he could do to help him. He pulled the chair as close to the bed as he could and sat down, learning over Joe he gently stroked the side of his son’s face. “Joseph, it’s Pa,” he said softly. Joe lay still, unmoving and unresponsive.
**********
The family and Paul Martin had been battling for two days to save Joe when Roy Coffee came back out to the Ponderosa. Hoss answered the knock on the door. “Roy,” he said, greeting the sheriff, “Come in.” Roy noticed how tired Hoss looked and doubted the man had gotten any sleep for days. “Pa’s upstairs with Joe. I’ll get him.”
“I’ll come up, Hoss. That way I can talk to you all together.” He followed Hoss upstairs.
Walking into Joe’s room, Roy was struck by the smell of sickness. Ben and Adam looked as worn out as Hoss. Turning to look at the young man in the bed, Roy thought sadly that Joe’s family were fighting a losing battle for his life.
Joe lay on the bed wearing only long john bottoms cut off at the knees. Sweat glistened on his body. Ben and Adam were gently wiping him over with cold water. Joe was pale, whiter than the sheet he lay on. His body marked by cuts and bruises that stood out on the pale skin. Doctor Martin had left to see some other patients, promising to return as soon as he could. In truth he knew there was little more he could do for Joe. If Joe had the strength to fight off the infection, he would live. If not, Paul knew, Joe would die. There was nothing Paul himself would be able to do to stop that from happening.
“How is he?” Roy asked, the words sounding ridiculous as he spoke them, he could see with his own eyes how he was.
“He’ll be all right,” Ben said and Roy saw him squeeze Joe’s hand as though to reassure himself.
Roy noticed the doubt that flickered in Adam’s eyes but then Adam quickly looked away as he asked, “Have you got any news, Roy?”
“I just got word that Marshal Stephens has been replaced. Apparently his superiors weren’t happy with the way he was working and this was the last straw.”
“Have you caught any of the men who were involved in this?” Hoss asked.
Roy shook his head. “No. I’m sorry. Danny only knew a few of them and they’ve all disappeared. We don’t know who the others are.”
“So they get away with this?” Ben said, never taking his eyes from Joe.
“There’s something you need to know, Ben,” Roy wasn’t sure how he was going to tell his old friend what he’d just heard, “There’s some talk going around, I don’t know if it’s true or just talk,” he looked at each of the Cartwrights before continuing, “that Tom Parkinson had some friends in the gang and they’re going to get even with Joe.”
“What!” Ben shouted, “They are the ones responsible! They only have themselves to blame!” he realized he was shouting and quickly looked at his youngest son as though he might have heard, Joe remained unmoving and Ben continued, his voice was lower but the anger was still there. “If any of them dare to come near Joseph, they’ll be meeting up with Tom Parkinson in hell sooner than they expected to. That’s a promise.”
Adam and Hoss had automatically moved protectively closer to their brother and Ben said, “Thank you for coming out and warning us, Roy. We’ll look after Joe.”
“I’ll see you out, Roy,” Adam looked at Ben and said, “I’ll talk to the men, tell them to watch out for anyone on the ranch or around the house who shouldn’t be here.”
“I’ll let you know if I hear anymore, Ben,” Roy said, taking one last look at Joe, Roy quietly left the room with Adam.
**********
As the sun set on another day, Adam said, “Pa, you need to get some sleep. Please go and lie down. We’ll call you if there’s any change.”
Ben shook his head. “I won’t leave him. I can’t. I have to make sure Joe knows I’m here. That he’s at home and he’s safe.”
“He knows, Pa,” Hoss said.
Ben looked down sadly at Joe and replied, “I hope so. You know, when I saw Joe lying there on the porch, so still, covered in blood, I thought he was dead.”
“Pa,” Adam put his hand on his fathers shoulder in comfort, “Don’t upset yourself.”
“Don’t upset myself,” Ben replied bitterly, “Joe was lying on the porch, dying, but he’d obeyed my last words to him. He didn’t set foot in the house.”
“Oh, Pa,” Hoss’ heart ached for the pain he knew his father was feeling. “Little Joe will understand.”
“What if I never get the chance to tell him why I did it?” Ben’s voice trembled.
“Don’t talk like that, Pa,” Hoss said firmly, “You will. I know you will.”
**********
The next morning, dawn broke with Ben still at Joe’s side.
As Ben wiped the cloth once more over Joe’s face, he leant forward and said the words he had repeated numerous times over the last few days. “Please, Joe, hold on. We love you. Come on, you can do it. Open your eyes for me, Joe.”
The previous requests had gone by without a response but this time Joe moved his head and Ben saw his eyelids flicker.
“That’s it, son,” Ben leant closer, “That’s it, come on. It’s time to wake up now.”
Slowly Joe’s eyes opened, blinking a few times until his vision cleared and he was able to see the face that hovered over him.
“Pa,” the word was a breath, it was whispered so quietly but Ben heard it and responded.
“Yes, Joseph, it’s Pa. You’re home now, Joe. Do you understand me? You’re home and you’re safe.”
“I made it,” Joe said in wonder, “I made it home.”
“It’s all right, son. It’s all right now,” Ben whispered to Joe, distressed by the tears that had suddenly pooled in Joe’s eyes.
“I’m sorry about the argument, Pa,” Ben tried to quite Joe but Joe shook his head, “Please, Pa, forgive me. I came back to the house. I had to see you again, to talk to you. I….”
This time it was Ben who shook his head, cutting Joe’s words off, he said, “Shhh, Joseph, none of that matters now. In any case, I’m the one who should be apologizing to you. It’s a long story, Joe. Too long to tell you right now while you are so sick,” Ben stroked the side of Joe’s face, “But I’ll explain everything to you later. For right now all you have to know is that I never wanted you to leave, Joe. Never. I love you, Joseph.” Joe’s eyes drooped and he was on the verge of sleep but he managed to smile up at his father and Ben’s heart warmed at the sight of it.
“I love you too, Pa,” Joe’s words were slurred as sleep began to claim him but Ben heard them clearly. Suddenly Joe’s body seemed to jerk and his eyes flew open. Ben saw the anxiety in them.
“What’s wrong, son?”
“Danny,” Joe moved restlessly, Danny Kidd. It was him. He was following me. Pa, he tried to kill me.”
“It’s all right,” Ben tried to calm his son, “I’ll explain it all later. There’s nothing to worry about. No one is going to hurt you, Joe. I promise.” Joe still looked anxious. Ben reached down and squeezed his hand, keeping hold of it. “I’ll be right here with you, all right. You just go to sleep.”
“It’s so good to be home, Pa,” Joe mumbled.
Ben swallowed the lump in his throat. Leaning down he kissed Joe’s forehead. “It’s so good to have you home.”
He watched as Joe closed his eyes and it was only a matter of minutes before Joe was sleeping soundly.
Ben heard a noise behind him and turned to see Paul Martin come into the room with Adam and Hoss.
“He just woke up,” Ben kept his voice low but the excitement he felt was clear.
“That’s good news,” Paul said, laying his hand on Joe’s forehead to check his temperature. “He’s a bit cooler.”
Disappointed that Joe was asleep again and he’d missed talking to him, Hoss asked, “What did he say? Did you tell him why you said what you did to him?” Hoss knew the last words Ben had spoken to Joe the day Joe had been shot had been weighing heavily on his father.
“No,” Ben said regretfully, “Not yet. I did tell him I never wanted him to leave. He was so tired and he was awake for such a short time. He knew he was home though and that I was with him.”
Paul smiled. “I think Joe’s turned the corner. His temperature is down. His color is better and he’s breathing easier. I won’t wake him to examine him. We’ll just let him sleep and see how he feels when he wakes again.”
**********
A few hours later Joe stirred again and it wasn’t long before he woke, finding his father once again sitting by his bed.
“Well, hello,” Ben smiled when he saw Joe open his eyes, “How are you feeling?” he asked, laying his hand on Joe’s forehead to check his temperature was still down.
“Better,” Joe replied sleepily, moving uncomfortably, “Sore.”
“I’ll bet you are,” Ben said as he rubbed Joe’s arm trying to sooth him.
“Hey, Joe!” Hoss said happily as he walked into the room with Adam, they’d just gone downstairs to get some coffee. “It’s good to see you awake.”
“It certainly is,” Adam agreed, as he handed his father a cup of coffee.
Paul moved to the bed and Joe caught sight of him. Before Joe could say anything, Paul said, “Now I’ll have no complaints from you. You’ve been very sick and had us all extremely worried so you are just going to lie there and let me take a look at you. No arguments,” he said firmly. Joe glared at him and Paul laughed, “You can give me all the dirty looks you want, Joe, as long as you lie still.” Ben, Adam and Hoss laughed, knowing Paul Martin always won the battle of wills against Joe.
After he’d finished his examination, Paul bandaged Joe’s shoulder again and smiling down, said, “There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“Can I get up now?” Joe asked.
Paul’s mouth dropped open in shock at the question and then he saw the twinkle of amusement in Joe’s eyes and he laughed as he replied, “You even think about getting out of bed before I tell you that you can and I’ll get Hoss to sit on you.” This time, Joe joined in his family’s laughter.
Paul closed his bag and said, “Well, I better get back to town. I can see I’m not needed here any longer. I’ll come out again tomorrow.” He patted Joe on the leg and turned to Ben. “Don’t hesitate to send for me if Joe’s temperature goes back up or if you have any other worries with him.” Ben shook Paul’s hand gratefully before the doctor left.
After Paul had gone, Joe looked at his father. “Pa,” he said, suddenly serious, “What’s going on? Why did you tell me to leave and,” Joe wrinkled his forehead in confusion, “And why was Danny following me?” he shuddered, “I thought he was trying to kill me.”
Ben sat carefully on the edge of the bed and reached for Joe’s hand, squeezing it and holding it firmly with his own. “I guess it’s time for that long story now hmmm,” he said.
**********
When his father had finished talking, Joe shook his head. “I have to admit, Pa, you had me convinced. I feel so stupid now for believing you then. I knew something wasn’t right but I….”
“Joseph,” Ben said gently, “You certainly have no reason to feel foolish. I wanted you to believe me. I thought I was keeping you safe. I’m so sorry, son. So sorry I put you through that.”
“It’s not your fault, Pa,” Joe said strenuously, wanting his father to understand that he didn’t blame him at all. “It’s not your fault,” he repeated. Joe shook his head and said bitterly, “I thought Danny was a friend.”
“He is, Joe.” When Joe started to shake his head in denial, Ben stilled it by gently laying his hand on the side of Joe’s face to stop the movement as he said, “Joe, I said the things I did to you that day because I thought at the time it was the right thing to do. Danny did the things he did for the same reason. He thought it was the right thing to do at the time. He didn’t mean to hurt you, Joseph.”
Joe’s eyes moved to his brothers who were standing quietly beside the bed. “Pa’s right, Little Joe,” Hoss said, “I’ll admit, I was about ready to tear Danny into little pieces when I found out what he’d done. He didn’t mean it to turn out the way it did though.”
“His intentions were good,” Adam added, “He wanted to tell us earlier, Joe. It was Marshal Stephens’ plan to keep everything a secret.”
Joe nodded, thinking about what his family had just told him. “Where is he, Pa?” Joe asked.
“He didn’t want to go back to town until he was sure you were going to be all right. I think he’s out in the barn. Do you want to talk to him?” Ben asked.
Joe nodded and Adam patted him on the arm as he said, “I’ll get him, buddy.”
**********
Danny came into the bedroom hesitatingly. He wanted to talk to Joe but he was nervous.
“Come on, Hoss,” Ben said, “Let’s leave these two young men to talk.” Smiling at Joe, Ben patted his arm and then started to leave the room, pausing as he passed Danny, “Only a few minutes, Danny. Joe needs to sleep.” Danny nodded and walked over to the bed.
Danny sat down in the chair beside the bed. “I’m really sorry. You’re the best friend I ever had, Joe. My only real friend. I thought I’d gotten you killed. I’m so sorry. I know that ain’t enough but it’s all I can say.”
“It’s enough,” Joe said, “Pa told me why you did it. I know you were trying to help.”
“I made such a mess of it. I chased you all night. If only I’d thought of the possibility that it was you who was alive and not Tom. If only I’d thought to call out. If I’d let you know earlier that I was there. If I….”
Joe cut him off. “That’s an awful lot of ifs, Danny. I think we just have to say it turned out all right in the end.”
Danny raised his eyebrows. “You almost died. Marshal Stephens lost his job and except for Tom all the other men got away. You call that turning out all right?”
Joe laughed. “Well it could have been worse.”
Danny stared at his friend for a moment and then a smile broke out on his face. “I guess it could have,” he said as he joined in the laughter.
**********
A week later, after a trip to town Adam and Hoss came into Joe’s room to find him sitting up in bed, reading. The family had agreed not to tell Joe yet about the threats Sheriff Coffee had told them about. Roy had heard of no more threats and there had been no sign of anyone or anything suspicious on the Ponderosa. The family were hopeful that the gang members had decided not to push their luck. The Cartwrights and ranch hands were still keeping a watchful eye on everything though just in case.
“Hey, this is a surprise,” Hoss joked as he sat down in the chair beside the bed, “Every time we’ve come in here lately to see you, you’ve been sleeping.” The doctor had told the family Joe would probably spend most of his time sleeping until his body had a chance to start over coming the injuries and complete exhaustion he had suffered. That’s just what he’d been doing. This was the first day that Joe had really started to feel much better. Ben was downstairs getting him something to eat.
“It’s good to see something other than the inside of my eyelids,” Joe joked back and his brothers laughed.
“We have something for you,” Hoss placed a package on the bed. Joe pulled the paper off to reveal the present.
“A new pair of boots!” Joe grinned up at his brothers.
“The other ones was plumb wore out after all that walkin’ ya did, little brother. “Twernt no savin’ ‘em. Me and Adam had these ones made for you, special.”
“Do you like them?” Adam asked, sitting on the bed.
Joe looked at the workmanship and knew his brothers had paid a lot for the boots but they meant more to Joe for the meaning behind the present. His brothers were glad to have him home. Joe ran his hand over the leather. “They’re perfect. Thank you.”
“Glad you like them,” Adam said, “We thought it might encourage you to stop lazing around and do some work now that you have something to put on your feet,” he joked.
Joe laughed and going along with the joke replied, “Oh, it will be a while before I’m back at work, brothers. I’ll have to wear these boots in real easy like.”
Ben stood at the door watching. His heart soared to see his boys joking with each other after the upset and turmoil they had all been through.
**********
Late that night, Ben opened the door and looked in on Joe. When Joe stirred, Ben quietly asked, “Are you still awake?”
“Yes, Pa,” Joe replied softly.
Ben walked over, lit the lamp and then carefully sat on the side of the bed. “It’s late, I was just about to go to bed. I thought you were asleep. Are you in pain? Do you need anything?”
Joe shook his head. “No, I’m fine. I’ve just been thinking.”
“What about, son?”
“I killed someone, Pa,” Joe turned away from his father, “and I was glad.”
Ben sat down on the edge of the bed, gently turning Joe’s face back towards him. He knew while Joe had been so sick he really hadn’t had a chance to think about a lot of the things that had happened recently but Ben didn’t want him to start dwelling on them now that he was starting to recover.
“You did nothing wrong, Joseph,” Ben said firmly.
“I deliberately led him to Widow’s Peak, Pa. I hoped he would fall over the edge. I prayed that he would. Maybe I should have waited. If I had, Danny might have gotten me out of there and I wouldn’t have killed that man.”
“Don’t you dare feel guilty about his death, Joseph. You did what you did to save yourself. His death is not your fault. And as for Danny, well, who can say how things would have turned out if you hadn’t gotten away,” Ben swallowed hard at the thought of what could have happened, “That man might have killed you anyway. You did everything you needed to do to survive and you have no reason to feel guilty about that,” Ben looked into Joe’s eyes and softly said, “The choice was your life or his and I’m glad you killed him, too.”
Joe looked at Ben and smiled. Relieved that his father understood.
Ben ran his hand over Joe’s arm, softly touching some of the bruises. Feeling a need to keep touching the boy he’d been so afraid he had driven away from him forever. “You’ve certainly had a rough time of it.”
Joe shook his head ruefully. “I can’t believe I was running from Danny all night. If only I’d known I could have saved myself a lot of bruises,” he joked, “I must have fallen over at least a hundred times.”
“Not many men could have done what you did. Finding your way home like you did, in the dark, in the condition you were in. Paul said it was a miracle, Joe. Now that we’ve sorted everything out and you know why I told you to leave,” Joe nodded, “I’ve been wondering about something. I know you believed me,” Joe didn’t deny it and Ben continued, “Why did you come back?”
“I was upset and angry when I went into town. I couldn’t understand why you had said the things you did,” Joe paused, sorry for the hurt he saw in his father’s eyes, “It’s all right, Pa, really. I knew even then that something wasn’t right. That’s why I came back to the house. I had to see you again, talk to you and straighten everything out.”
“And when you were shot, Joe,” Ben asked anxiously, “What did you think? Surely you didn’t think that I’d shot you.”
“Pa!” despite the seriousness of the conversation, Joe laughed, “Of course not. I knew you didn’t want me gone that bad,” he joked and was able to bring a smile to his father’s lips. “When I woke up, it was dark and I was in the middle of nowhere. I didn’t know what had happened but I knew it was something bad. I knew I had to get away and find my way home.” Joe smiled. “You helped me find my way home, Pa.”
“What do you mean, Joe?”
“When I was little, we spent so many nights together looking up at the stars and you used to point them out to me and tell me stories about them. I remember you teaching me how I could find my way home by the stars.”
“Is that what you did?” At Joe’s nod, Ben said, “I’m so proud of you, Joe. You did an amazing thing. Thank God for the stars that led you home,” Ben said reverently.
“It wasn’t just the stars,” Joe looked into his father’s eyes, “The stars kept me going in the right direction but it was your love that guided me home.”
Tears came to Ben’s eyes at Joe’s words and he turned away to hide them. Clearing his throat, he said, “Enough of this talking young man, it’s time you got some sleep. You need to get better. We’ll miss that horse auction in San Francisco next month but you should be up and around by the time the next one comes up and you and I are going.” Joe opened his mouth to protest but Ben shook his head and said firmly, “No arguments.”
“You know, Pa, you won’t be able to pull that trick again,” Joe joked, Next time you tell me that I’m not welcome here I won’t believe you.”
A soft smile came to Ben’s lips and this time he didn’t try to hide the tears as he gently pulled Joe into his arms and hugged his son to him. “They’ll never be a next time, Joseph. The door to this house and my heart will never be closed to you. I love you, son.”
The End
July 2005
Note. The character of Danny Kidd is from the episode “The Friendship.”