Christmas at Home
by
Janice Sagraves

This is for Edna, who gave me the idea to show Hop Sing’s side and Sadie who helped me to get started on this one.

ONE

He sneezed again, and his head throbbed behind watery eyes. Sitting on the side of his bed, he rubbed his temples and debated hiding this from his family, but how did one hide the way he felt? If he lived in seclusion in the outer reaches of upper Mongolia it wouldn’t be such a problem, but he didn’t have that luxury. He knew that if he found out, Pa wouldn’t want to leave him, invitation or no invitation. But they had been invited to the wedding of a dear friend’s only daughter in Carson City and it would be a shame to disappoint the man and his family. It was planned that they would head out in four days, and he knew his illness would be in full swing by that time. He placed his hand against his forehead and detected no temperature, yet, but he knew it was inevitable. No, he would tell Pa and they could battle it out from there. He lay back on his bed and closed his eyes and coughed and wished he knew which stagecoach had run him over.

*******

Adam Cartwright came downstairs in his nightshirt, robe and slippers. His family had left that morning and about an hour after they were gone – just to make sure they didn’t double back on him – he had removed his clothes for more comfortable attire. He took the steps gingerly one at a time and went to his father’s favorite red leather chair. It was closest to the fire and its overstuffing made it a comfortable choice.

It had been no easy thing to talk Pa into going, but he’d been putting on his best front and assured him that it wasn’t so bad. They all agreed that it would be best if he stayed at home and inside and away from the cold. Joe and Hoss had been instrumental in helping him talk Pa into this. They knew that he needed to get away for a short time and just enjoy himself, though Adam wondered if he would for worrying. One corner of his mouth wearily crooked, and he leaned his head back.

Hop Sing thought he’d heard sounds of movement coming from the big room so he decided to check it out. He stepped into the doorway that led from the kitchen and looked toward the parlor. His boy had come downstairs and was sitting in front of the hearth. He had promised Mista Ben to watch after the first-born while they were gone and to wire him if his son got worse. With a cat-like tread he padded over to the chair and looked down onto his charge. The heavy lids were lowered and the fans of thick black lashes rested against his slightly pallid skin.

“Mista Adam feel worse?”

Lethargically, the soft, dark hazel eyes opened and looked up at him. “No, I’m just tired, and I wanted to warm myself in front of the fire,” he said, weakness having crept into his normally strong voice.

“Would Number One son like some spiced tea?”

“That would be nice, Hop Sing, and go a little heavier on the ginger and nutmeg than usual.”

“All light, Mista Adam, you just lest easy, and I go fix lickety split.”

Adam grinned fondly as the little man bustled away. Hop Sing was a rock they all depended on, and no matter the situation they could always rely on him to come through. He had been in their employ for twenty years, actually closer to twenty-one come March. Once – four years back – he’d returned to Hong Kong and his Number One cousin had taken over briefly, but he hadn’t been able to stay away from the family and most particularly his boys.

He felt a slight chill and pulled the collar of his robe together and close to his neck. His stomach gurgled but he wasn’t really hungry, and he hoped the tea would settle it.

Adam had been fourteen when Hop Sing had been hired by their father, and it had come as no surprise to anyone. If it hadn’t been for the quick action of the little man Ben Cartwright’s oldest son would have been killed. A job was his way of repaying some of what could never be paid off. The boys, one especially, grew quickly to adore him since he spoiled and pampered them in ways that their father and mother didn’t. And at first, he had even butted heads with Marie, who believed that he was trying to usurp her authority. Things had been ironed out, though, and a close relationship formed between them, and she turned to him frequently in the running of the household. He had mourned with them at her loss and done his best to fill part of the void her passing left. Hop Sing was as much a part of this family as any one of them, and Adam, for one, was glad for it.

He would have noticed the piquant aroma had his nose not been so stuffed up. A gentle hand on his shoulder made him look around and the cup and saucer was handed to him. The taste was barely discernable except for the nip of the spices on his tongue.

“It good?”

“I can hardly taste it but it feels good going down and maybe it’ll make me feel a little more human. Thank you, Hop Sing.”

“You maybe eat something too?”

“Not right now, possibly later. I’ll let you know.”

“All light, you better or Hop Sing come back with bloom,” and his face lit with a benevolent smile.

He went back to his cooking duties as Adam sipped the hot brew and let it trickle down his scratchy throat. This didn’t altogether come as a surprise. He’d gone to see Suzanne Madden and her family and take them some rabbits he’d caught. She and her children were still having trouble making ends meet and since Jake wouldn’t be starting his new job until the spring, he took it on himself to help out whenever he could. Suzanne was a proud woman who didn’t accept what she saw as charity lightly, but the welfare of her children made that unimportant.

When he’d gotten there he found that the four youngest ones had come down with a malady, and he couldn’t say no when little Libby had climbed into his lap and cuddled close to him. Her mother tried to retrieve her but he’d simply laughed it off saying it was too late, and he’d just steer clear of Pa and his brothers and Hop Sing when he got home. As a result, he got sick and they didn’t.

The tea had soothed his throat and warmed him from the inside out and made him sleepy. He leaned forward and placed the saucer and empty cup on the table then nestled himself back in the chair and set his gaze on the dancing flames. A yawn added to the heaviness of his eyes, and he wrapped his arms around himself. The lids slowly dropped, and his head fell over against the side of the chair. Slumber moved in and made itself at home and closed out the rest of the world.

Hop Sing decided he should check on his boy and see if he could drink some more tea. As he looked down on Adam the love for a son not his own brimmed in his face, and his obsidian eyes twinkled in the firelight. He went to the bureau by the door and got a blanket and came back with it. Tenderly, he tucked it in around the sleeping man, careful not to wake him then picked up the cup and saucer. “You sleep, Mista Adam, it make you better,” he whispered then turned and went back into his realm.

*******

The three horses made their way along the vicinity of the road. The buckskin was almost a foot ahead of the big Morgan and the little pinto and Ben Cartwright sat rigid in the saddle, his eyes locked ahead.

Hoss Cartwright looked over at his brother and shook his head. “This ain’t gonna work, Joe,” he said in a low tone. “He’s ain’t said over a half dozen words since we left.”

“I know,” Joe Cartwright said as his emerald eyes flashed in Hoss’ direction, “but after we get there, and he’s with friends some of this’ll go away…. I hope.”

“So do I. Time was when he would o’ trusted Adam to take care o’ hisself and Hop Sing to watch after ‘im.”

“He’s just afraid of losing Adam again, and I’ve noticed ‘im watching me a bit closer than he used to.”

“Yeah, me too. Joe, do you think he’s ever gonna git over this?”

“Adam says he will with time.” He looked back to his father.

“But who’s to say how much time; I mean it has been six months.”

“Yeah,” Joe said dryly, “but how long is fear of losing somebody you love supposed to last?”

Hoss finally looked at his father again. “Don’t nobody know that one, Joe.”

The horses plodded on, their feet throwing white clods as they plowed their way through. Conversation had ceased again and only the gentle blowing of the wind through the trees and the crunching of snow filled the silence.

TWO

The Van Hoff house was the biggest one in Carson City and located on the edge of the center of town. It was grandiose to say the least with white pillars on the front porch and second story balcony and plenty of gingerbread trim. Peter Van Hoff – son of German immigrants – had come to find his fortune in ’59 and struck it rich after only five months in the Comstock. He had come from Wisconsin with his wife and three sons and a daughter and made a home in the burgeoning metropolis.

Because of the snow it took Ben Cartwright and his two sons longer than usual to get there. Since Thanksgiving it had only come down twice and dumped a mere six inches between both of them. There hadn’t been all that much of the white stuff for this neck of the woods and time of year, so they had felt fairly safe in trying it.

Ben still wasn’t happy about leaving Adam, and he wished he hadn’t let his sons talk him into this. If something happened while he was gone he knew he couldn’t live with himself.

“I’m glad you were able to come,” Peter Van Hoff said as he went up the curved staircase with his guests, “and I’m sorry Adam wasn’t able to.”

“He wished he could’ve come too,” Ben said, “but we didn’t think it was a good idea for him to be out in the cold.”

“A wise descision. And I know Janette wouldn’t want him to put his health at risk just to come to her wedding.”

In most proper Victorian households the servants showed company to their rooms, but in this one Peter always insisted on doing it himself. It was a good way for an impromptu visit and to get reacquainted. The rooms had been readied in advance for the Cartwright’s arrival so they could go right in. After Joe and Hoss were shown to theirs, Peter stuck around to talk with Ben. He hadn’t seen his dear friend since back before the terrible time in June, and he felt they just needed to talk.

Ben dumped his seriously stuffed saddlebags on the foot of the bed while Peter parked himself in the large brown chair by the window. The room was definitely intended for the male guests that came to the mansion and it smacked of masculinity.

There was a long silence as if Ben didn’t want to bring it up, and Peter didn’t know where to start.

“It’s been a while, Ben,” Peter began as he smoothed back his thick, gray tinged sandy blond hair, “and a lot has happened to both of us since then.”

Ben kept his back to him and diligently focused all his attention on what he was doing.

“When I first heard about it I wanted to see you, but I didn’t want to impose on your grief. I knew that Joe and Hoss were there for you, and Hop Sing is a good, steady man. Still, to lose a son…. When Alex died, me and Vanessa felt like the earth had opened up and swallowed us. But we still had three other sons and a daughter to help get us through it. It would never be the same again, but we knew we had to move on.”

Ben had yet to turn around and stood motionless with his eyes focused on the mattress. The despair had come surging back, and he wished he didn’t have to talk about it again. Adam had pointed out that the more they could, though, the quicker the pain would dull. So far it hadn’t worked. “I know, Peter. I’m glad you didn’t come. I wouldn’t’ve wanted you to see me the way I became.” He finally turned around. “I started drinking heavily, and I closed myself off from the rest of the world. My life was over, and I just wanted to go be with my son.”

“But you still had Joe and Hoss.”

“Imagine, Peter, if you’d looked into the back of a wagon and seen Alex with his face blown away by a shotgun.”

Peter paled and gulped hard. “So that’s how it happened. I’ve often wondered how such a mistake could’ve been made. I never got the complete details, just that he was dead and had been found buried on the Ponderosa. It circulated that he’d been shot, but I had no idea. No wonder you were so badly shaken.” He glanced away and the light caught in his cornflower blue eyes. “But it’s over now, that part of it anyway.” He eased his spare frame from the big chair and went to his friend and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “You’re here now to celebrate life and the beginning of a new future for a young woman, and Adam is safe at home.” He gave him a pat on the arm and smiled. “I’m glad you came, Ben. Now I’m sure you and the boys are hungry and dinner won’t be long, but we might be able scrounge something up before then, if you’d like,” he said with a sly wink.

“Nothing for me, Peter, but you can ask Joe and Hoss.” Then he reached out and took Peter’s hand in a firm grip. “I’m glad I did come.”

Peter’s smile broadened then he left and pulled the door together behind him. Ben turned back to the big walnut bed to finish his unpacking, but he just glared at it. Now if he could only stop fretting about Adam.

*******

Adam’s nap in the chair had refreshed him, yet he still felt like he’d been squeezed through a knot hole backwards, but he was more rested. The fire had warmed him some, though a slight chill lay just beneath the surface of his skin. He still didn’t have much energy, and moving about was a chore, so he spent most of his time just sitting. He didn’t like staying in bed if he could get up at all, his restless nature saw to that.

It would soon be dinnertime, and he felt like he should eat a little something even though he had no appetite to speak of. He delicately pulled himself to his feet and started for the kitchen, staying close to the furniture in case he should start to pitch.

For the first time he caught a slight sent of cooking food as he passed through the doorway. His sense of smell was still shot so he wasn’t able to tell what anything was. “Could a man get something to eat around here?” he asked as his nose wrinkled.

Hop Sing’s head snapped around from where he stood at the breakfront putting something away. “Mista Adam, you should be in bed. I can bling to you.”

“I’m all right, Hop Sing. And you know how I feel about staying in bed if I’m the slightest bit able to get up.”

“I know,” Hop Sing said with a scolding frown. “Hop Sing also know Mista Adam velly stubborn and not like to do what he told.”

“Guilty as charged,” he said with a crooked grin as he sat at the small table. “It still gives Pa fits.”

Hop Sing got a bowl and a spoon and went to the stove. He put them aside and took the lid from a bubbling pot. “I cook egg drop soup. It have chicken bloth and make you feel better.”

Adam’s brow drew into a scowl. “Now I really wish I had my taste back.”

Hop Sing grinned as he filled the bowl. Mista Adam had always liked his egg drop soup since the first time he had eaten it. He could still see the boy hunched over spooning it into his mouth as if someone would steal it from him. Mista Hoss liked his roast pig and Mista Joe had a preference for his corn pudding, but this – with its tiny noodles and threads of egg – was Mista Adam’s favorite and the little cook enjoyed fixing it for him.

He took the steaming bowl and put it in front of his boy and stepped back to watch with satisfaction as the spoon was dipped into it. Cautiously, Adam took his first bite, and disgust registered faintly in his face.

“Still not taste?”

“I’m afraid not, but at least it’s good and hot, and it feels good on my throat.”

“That good. Now you eat it all.”

“All right, Pa,” Adam said with a mischievous grin and ladled up another spoonful.

Approval lit the little man’s face then he turned back to the stove.

Adam watched him as he continued to eat. Now was as good a time as any to bring up a touchy subject. He new he should have done it long before this, but better late than never. This was the first time he’d been completely alone with Hop Sing since his homecoming, and he was going to take full advantage of the situation. “What was it like for you?”

“What like, Mista Adam?”

It went quiet for several seconds then, “June.”

Hop Sing spun around, his eyes wide. “Why you ask that?”

“Because you’re the only one I haven’t talked to about it yet, and as far as I’m concerned, you’re a part of this family. So talk to me.” He took a bite but his dark eyes never left Hop Sing. “How did you feel at the funeral?”

Hop Sing’s hands knotted in his apron as images of that black day flooded his memory. How could he ever forget seeing the pain his family was enduring? How could he forget his own? “That worst day of Hop Sing’s life. To see first-born put into glound like watching own son.” He moved closer to the table. “It like… part of Hop Sing go into hole and be covered with dirt with him.” He glanced at his feet. “And then I aflaid to lose other boy. Blother’s not eat light and let house get cold. Mista Joe work hard on books and stay up too late.”

Adam grinned. “And you became a bit of a warlord.”

“Aflaid so.” His hands tightened on the cloth. “But father even worse to see. Hop Sing not know him anymore. He become like stranger. He not eat and stay in oldest son’s room and hardly come out. Then I think maybe he eat Mista Adam’s favorlites and it work. He start eating again.”

“That was a smart thing to do. I’m so glad you were here to take care of them while I couldn’t be…. But there wasn’t anybody to take care of you.”

“Have ancestors and they help Hop Sing stay strong to look after family. I do all light through day, but nights worst of all. Not busy and too much time to think.”

Adam’s attention had been drawn away from his food and the spoon hovered over the bowl. He’d heard about his family’s grief and seen firsthand the pain and fear that lingered, and now he was seeing Hop Sing’s. The little man had kept it well hidden, even better than Hoss had. Adam knew his protectiveness of the family had been tried to the limit, and a small part of him felt guilty for it, though the fault lay with someone else and not him. But to see those he cared for so greatly still suffering because of it angered him, and not only at Vince Decker. They had all been scarred by this and they ran deep. “I still have trouble with the night too sometimes, but it’s not as bad as it used to be.” He put the spoon down and went to the diminutive man and placed an understanding hand on his shoulder. “We both know that what happened will never completely leave us, and only time’ll take the sharp edges off of it.” He let his eyes reach out to the little cook and his fingers tightened against him. “If you ever need to talk about this or anything you always know where to find me.” A roguish light flitted over his face, and his lips curved. “And if I ever think you’re holding back, I guess I’ll just have to come looking for you.”

Hop Sing’s expression lightened and a smile gentled his features. “Hop Sing know how this boy get so not want that.” His mouth widened into a grin then was replaced by a not so fierce scowl. “Now you go back and finish soup before it get cold.”

“All right, Pa.” As he turned he felt a hand against his back give a slight push.

Hop Sing waited until he’d set himself back down and started eating again before returning to the stove. He adored all his boys, but this one gave his heart a lift like no one else did. It had been dreadfully painful to talk about what had cut so deeply, but it had also raised a burden from him. He gave the soup a couple more stirs lest it stick then he went back to mixing the spices for the stack cake he would make. This was another of Mista Adam’s favorites. He stopped as it came to him that he had been making a lot of Mista Adam’s favorite foods in the past few months. But after what the first-born had been through, what could it hurt?

THREE

It was shortly after dinner when a knock came at Ben’s door. He laid aside the book he’d been thumbing through and answered it. Nineteen-year-old Janette Van Hoff stood before him with the brightest of smiles. “Father Ben,” she said as she threw her arms around his shoulders and hugged him tightly. “I’m so glad you were able to come.” The skirt of her candy pink taffeta dress rustled as she stepped into the room. “I didn’t expect you until later today, and I was at Ursula Roberts’ house. She’s going to be one of my bride’s maids, and we had some details to take care of.”

“Well, there are always plenty of things to be taken care of.”

“The only thing that adds a dark spot is Adam’s not being able to come. I was so looking forward having all of you, but I understand why he had to stay home. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if he’d come and only made himself worse.”

“That’s what your father said. Wait right here.” He went back to his bed and took a small box wrapped in brown paper from the right pouch of his saddle bags. “This is for you,” he said as he handed it to her. “When he saw that he wasn’t going to be able to give it to you in person Adam sent it by me.”

“What is it?” she asked with sparkling eyes.

“Open it and find out.”

Eagerly, she tore the paper away. Inside was a small, skillfully carved oak chest. It had been varnished until it glistened and the natural beauty of the wood was accentuated. She raised the hinged lid and looked inside. It had one large and several smaller compartments, all covered in red velvet, as well as the inside of the lid, where a mirror had been affixed. She ran her fingers lightly over it and tears shimmered in her pale blue eyes. “This is the most beautiful, wonderful thing I’ve ever seen.”

“He made it especially for you, and he worked on it for weeks out in the barn. He thought a married woman should have a place of her own for her jewelry.”

She closed it and hugged it close and wrapped her arms around it. The tears broke loose and ran down her cheeks. Ben enclosed her in his arms and held her as she cried.

“I’m so glad we didn’t lose him,” she whispered.

“So am I, child, so am I.”

*******

Adam thought he would freeze to death, and his head felt like it was going to float away. He held his arms close to him as he started upstairs in an attempt to curtail some of the shivering. The idea of bed and the layers of blankets and quilts Hop Sing insisted on suddenly seemed very appealing. He dragged himself down the hall and went into his room and closed the door. The robe came off and was hung over the back of the chair then the slippers were kicked haphazardly from his feet, and he climbed in under the covers and snuggled down. It was cool at first but his feverish body soon warmed it up.

As he lay there it was hard to keep his teeth from chattering. Then a sharp, burning pain ran through his nose and into his eyes. He knew what was coming and there was nothing he could do about it. He turned his face into the pillow so Hop Sing wouldn’t hear and sneezed and – as if that wasn’t good enough – he did it four more times. A generous sneeze always felt so good, but now his nose started to run. He groaned and shifted onto his back and tilted his head so his chin almost pointed to the ceiling. The last thing he wanted to do was have to get up for a handkerchief.

“I never noticed that before,” he said to himself.

There was a swirl in the stucco of the ceiling that looked like a bird in flight. He closed first his right eye then his left then he squinted both, but it still looked like a bird no matter what he did. Then he started trying to figure out what kind it was. It wasn’t big enough for an eagle and wasn’t small enough for a wren. It didn’t have a crest like a jay and it’s tail was too short for a blackbird. All right then, if it didn’t look like any he’d ever seen then it must be a new one so he would just name it himself, but what would he call it? An Adam bird? Nah. Cartwright didn’t fit either.

“I know. A Ponderosa Pintail.” He laughed, but that made his head hurt so he stopped.

He took a deep breath and nestled his head into the pillow. A long, languorous yawn made his eyes water and it blurred his new discovery as he stared up at it. His eyelids were growing heavier by the second and it was becoming more and more difficult to keep them up. Finally, he gave in to their desire and let them close. It felt like he was adrift on a tropical sea as warm breezes brushed over his skin and kissed his cheeks. The door eased together and latched quietly. In no time he was asleep, and his bird and one little Chinese cook kept watch over him.

*******

Joe was in front of the full length standing mirror tying his string tie when his brother came into the bedroom.

“Ain’t you ready yet?”

“I just have to tie my tie and put on my jacket.”

“Well, hurry up, dadblameit; I’m hungry enough to eat ten head o’ steers.”

“Only ten?” Joe said and giggled as he fussed with the slender piece of brown silk.

“You’d best watch it, little brother. I might git so hungry I’d just go ahead an’ eat you.”

“Nah, you wouldn’t like me, I’m too tough.”

“Oh, I don’t know, Joe,” Hoss said as he stepped to him and pinched his arm. “You seem pretty tender to me.”

Just then their father burst into the room. “Joseph, will you hurry up? They’re not going to hold supper simply because you can’t tie that thing.”

“All right, Pa, I’ve just about got it.”

Ben’s glower darkened then he went back out into the hall.

“Pa’s a might jumpy, ain’t he?”

“Yeah, and he will be until we get back home. I thought coming here’d be good for him but now I’m not so sure.”

“Well, as soon as he gits a hold o’ some o’ that good food the Van Hoff’s is knowed for he’ll gentle down.”

“Does everything havta be about food with you?” Joe said as he slipped his arms into his pale tan jacket.

“No, but it sure does help.”

Joe grinned and gave him a slap on the arm. “Come on; let’s go before Pa comes back.”

As they started out Hoss’ face scrunched up. “Say, Joe, you ever heard o’ sauer… sauer…?”

“Sauerbraten?”

“Yeah, you know what that is?”

“No, but it’s German, I think.”

“Well, it don’t matter if’n that’s it I smell,” and he smacked his lips.

“Then why don’t we go get some and find out?”

Hoss agreed vigorously and went out after Joe. As they came down the stairs their father was waiting for them in the foyer, and his expression was less than cordial.

“What took you two so long?” he said in a harsh whisper. “The Detterils are already here. Now let’s not keep people waiting anymore.” His coffee eyes ran from one son to the other then he started off down the wide hall that led under the landing.

Joe looked at Hoss, and his eyebrows rose. “We havta get him back home.”

“Yeah, before he kills us all in a pile.”

They knew better than not to follow him, so they stayed fairly close behind him.

They entered the expansive grand dining room with its heavy furnishings. Some of the finest cabinet makers in Germany had been commissioned for their creation according to Vanessa Van Hoff’s precise instructions and it was exported to the then Nevada Territory. Garnet was the main color in heavy damask and it graced the windows, table and chair seats. Three two-tiered crystal candelabras along with a huge matching chandelier glittered like diamonds.

The Cartwrights were introduced to Phillip and Irmgard Detteril and their twenty-five year old son Wyatt, a striking young man with grey-green eyes and wispy brown like his mother. Then everyone was promptly seated. Joe and Hoss had dallied so that there wasn’t time for getting acquainted before the food was served.

Polite conversation went on around Ben but he heard little of what was said, even when it was directed at him. He ate and drank his wine but hardly tasted any of it. His mind was back on the Ponderosa with his ill son, and he regretted letting himself be talked into leaving him. He trusted Hop Sing to take care of him – as he had when all his boys were children – and Paul Martin was right there in Virginia City, but his father should be there with him too. He put another bite in his mouth and stared at the fine English bone china plate in front of him. He had no idea what he was eating, and it was the least of his worries.

“Isn’t that right, Ben?” a man’s voice asked from the head of the table. “Ben?”

Ben Cartwright mechanically took another bite and didn’t hear.

FOUR

Adam turned over again and realized that he was awake. He pried one eye open and could plainly see that the room was lighter than it had been when he’d turned in. He blinked and looked around him, it was the next day but he had no idea what time it was. Judging by the light, though, it was probably before noon.

As bad as he felt it surprised him that he hadn’t been awake on and off all night, but he attributed that to sheer exhaustion and Hop Sing’s egg drop soup. His mouth was dry as a soda cracker, and he had a sudden need for the chamber pot kept under the bed.

After nature’s call had been heeded he felt like he should go on downstairs and see what Hop Sing was up to and Pa’s big red chair and the fire beckoned. It was all he could do to get himself presentable, not that he did much more than put on his robe and slippers. He figured his hair was a disheveled mess, and he usually took pride in and care with his appearance, but today he simply couldn’t care less. If he looked like something the cat had dragged in it bothered him not in the slightest, after all, why not look like you felt?

His feet scuffed the floor since it was too much effort to pick them up. The staircase was longer than he could ever remember it being. As he went down he realized that his head was whirling like a cyclone. His hand clenched on the banister railing as he continued on, but he only got as far as the landing, and he sat on the last step.

All the room needed was a lively Irish jig to accompany its spinning and dancing around. He rested his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands. Going back to bed was becoming more appealing by the second and if he weren’t such a stubborn mule he probably would. He’d gotten this far, though, so why not go all the way?

“Mista Adam all light?” came softly at his side.

“I’m just holding my head in place so it won’t roll down the stairs. I don’t feel much like chasing after it,” he said matter-of-factly without looking up.

“Not to wolly. If it get away Hop Sing bling it back.”

Adam looked up at him with one eye scoonched and couldn’t miss the mischievousness alive there. “It’s good to know that you’re always around to retrieve it. Now I think I’ll just sit here for a few minutes so you can go back to whatever you were doing, I’ll be all right.” He put his hand to his mouth and coughed as he turned his face away.

“All light, but if you need anything I be light in kitchen.”

“I’ll sing out.”

Hop Sing lingered, and his gaze roved over his boy. He knew this one, he could be at death’s door, and he wouldn’t say anything. The kitchen wasn’t so far away, however, and he could sneak a peek every now and then to make sure he was truly all right. He still didn’t like it, but it was what Mista Adam wanted. Hesitantly, he turned and went back down then – with a glance back – he returned to his domain.

Adam grinned but even that seemed to hurt. He coughed again and swallowed and noticed that his throat didn’t seem to be so scratchy and raw today. Maybe the worst of it was coming to an end, and he would start to feel better before long. That would be a nice Christmas present to give but he’d never been that considerate of himself so why start now. As he sat there his eyes began looking for something to do that wouldn’t require too much output. They started with Pa’s desk and made their way gradually around to the immense stone fireplace. Once there the germ of an idea began to worm its way into his head and turn into a solid thought. Then his mind’s eye began forming images, and he could almost see what he was planning.

“Hop Sing!” He tilted his head to the side and just continued to stare. “Hop Sing!”

The little man barreled out of the kitchen as if his very life depended on it. His eyes were blacker than usual and his face was just the color of alabaster. He ran straight to Adam and stopped on the landing. “What long?” he asked breathlessly. “Mista Adam more sick? Something hurt?”

“No, nothing like that,” Adam said, his eyes never coming away from where they were transfixed, “but I’ve just been thinking about something.”

All the air seemed to leave Hop Sing at once, and he staggered back into the banister. “Thinking? You scare Hop Sing back to ancestors because you thinking?”

“I’m sorry Hop Sing,” he said as he finally looked around, “I didn’t mean to do that. Now if you’ll sit down I’ll tell you all about it.”

“I have bled in oven. Plobably burn up.”

“All right,” he said as he grabbed a newel post and tugged himself to his feet, “you go to your bread, and I’ll come with you. We can talk about it while you see how burnt up it is.”

He made his way down and followed Hop Sing, beginning to outline his plan as they went.

*******

Janette Van Hoff was in the foyer adjusting a dark green bonnet over her satiny brunette hair that was pulled back into an attractive chignon at the nape of her slender neck.

“Good morning, Joe,” she said with a quick glance up.

“Where’re you going on such a cold afternoon?” he said as he came down the stairs.

“Wyatt is coming to take me skating. We’re going to the pond outside town with some of our friends and Trisha Brennan’s aunt and uncle as chaperons, three whole sleighs full.”

“Sounds like fun,” he said as he came around behind her and looked into the mirror over her shoulder as she tied the ribbon under her chin.

Then the most wonderful idea flashed across her delicate features, and she spun to face him. “Joe, why don’t you come with us?” He tried begging off but she persisted. “You said it yourself that it’ll be fun.”

“I don’t know how to skate. More times than I care to try to count I’d probably wind up on my…” A faint blush tinted his cheeks. “Well, you know what I mean.”

“I did too before I learned. We can teach you, and you can even bring Hoss.”

“Oh, no,” he said with a defensive laugh. “Unless the ice it ten foot thick he’d go right through and take everybody else with ‘im. No, I’m afraid this just isn’t for either one of us.”

“Oh, come on, Joe,” she pleaded as she took his hands, “and I know just the girl for you. She’s bright and witty and pretty as an angel, you’ll love ‘er.”

“Who is she?”

“Her name is Cassie Yates; her father owns the newspaper.”

The side of Joe’s upper lip curled faintly, he’d seen Cassie Yates, and it was a fact that he’d seen better looking mares.

“No, thank you, Janette, I don’t…”

“Why not, little brother?” Hoss asked as he swaggered in from behind the staircase. “You might meet some good lookin’ gal an’ make it a double weddin’. Maybe even Miss Yates.”

Joe’s eyes turned on him like sharp emerald daggers. Hoss had been with him when he’d first seen Cassie; in fact, he was the one that made the comment about the mare first.

“That’s it, Hoss; help me talk him into it. Please, Joe,” and she tugged at his hands.

“I… I don’t have any skates,” he said as hope lifted his spirits. “I’d just have to sit and watch all of you have fun.”

“Oh, that doesn’t matter; you can use Papa’s and a pair of his boots. You look to wear about the same size,” she said as her eyes flitted to his feet. “And you’re about the same build so you could borrow some of his clothes too.”

“I think that’s a right good idea, Miss Janette,” Hoss said as he hooked his arm tightly in Joe’s. “He don’t git out enough in the wintertime. Makes ‘im pale.” He tweaked his brother’s cheek.

If looks could kill Hoss would have died on the spot. “I don’t…” Joe started.

“Then it’s all settled,” she said gleefully as she took his other arm.

“Now let’s go git ‘im outfitted before your friends git here.”

They started off upstairs arm-in-arm – Joe protesting every step of the way to no avail – and then Hoss took him back to his room while Janette eagerly raided her father’s wardrobe. Joe was hooked and there wasn’t a thing he could do about it, Hoss saw to that.

FIVE

Hoss stood at the head of one of the horses that pulled the sleighs stroking the white snip on the end of its black-brown nose. He’d come along just to watch the fun, and so far he wasn’t being disappointed.

Cassie Yates’ skirt and myriad of petticoats spread over the ice as she sat there and they draped across Joe’s face, hiding the disgruntled expression he wore. He was going to be sore as a boil for the next day or so and sitting a horse wasn’t going to be any pleasure. She drug them back, and her sympathetic mahogany eyes looked down along her aquiline nose. “Are you all right, Mr. Cartwright? That’s the twelfth spill you’ve taken since we started.”

“Are you sure? I’ve lost count.” He grunted and put his hands against his back as he sat up.

As they continued to just sit Wyatt and Janette skated up to them, her hands holding to his arm. “Are you all right, Joe?” she asked. “That’s the…”

“Yes, I know, it’s the twelfth time. Cassie’s been keeping count.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anybody fall that much in fifteen minutes,” Wyatt said as he moved around to help Cassie up.

“Well, it’s nice to know that I’m good at something.”

Wyatt helped him and almost got yanked down for his trouble, but working together they finally got Joe standing. He was proud of himself to be upright then he tried taking a step, and his feet began going in every direction except the one he wanted them to. His arms flayed in the air like windmills and before anybody could do anything he sat down hard. The girls covered their mouths with gloved fingers, and it was obvious that they were trying not to laugh. He looked at each one of them individually and ire more than pain lived in his eyes. Then his mouth drew down and all he said was, “Thirteen.”

By the time Wyatt got him standing again Joe decided he’d had enough. Fortunately, they hadn’t been too far away from the rim of the pond when they went down so it only took him three more falls to finally reach it. It was difficult walking on the skates across the frozen ground but he eventually made it to the sleigh where his brother was. He could see the amusement in the full face and clear blue eyes. “Enjoying yourself?” he asked sarcastically as he painfully sat down on the running board.

“I ain’t had this much fun since you got throwed in that bed o’ cactus in Arizona last year.”

Joe’s face pinched and cold air ran in through his teeth. “No matter which way I turned I just couldn’t get out of it without getting’ stuck,” Joe said as he began unbuckling his skate straps. “And you were no help, and Adam was worse. At least Pa tried.”

Hoss came around and sat next to him. “I wonder what Adam’s doin’ right about now?”

“Probably taking it easy with Hop Sing waiting on ‘im hand and foot,” he said as he put the infamous blades aside.

“You talkin’ about the same Adam. He has to be mighty sick to let that happen, an’ he weren’t that bad when we left.”

They just looked at each other in silence and knew what the other was thinking. What if Adam had taken a turn for the worse while they were gone?

“I ain’t gonna think that way,” Hoss said as he turned his attention back to the pond. “An’ anyway, Hop Sing promised to wire Pa if’n he got bad.”

Joe took a deep breath and did the same thing. It was better to watch the happy couples enjoying themselves and one another than to think about what could be going on back home.

*******

Adam felt an icy blast hit him in the back of the head from where he sat on the settee. He looked around as one of the hands – led by Hop Sing – came in with a fair sized box. The man was instructed to put it on the dining table then Adam thanked him and he left.

Getting up was a little easier than it had been in the days before, and his head didn’t throb quite so badly. Joining Hop Sing he undid the latch on the lid and opened it back. He brought out a folded piece of yellowed muslin and revealed its magical contents. There were ornaments in all sizes, shapes, colors and materials imaginable. As they delved into it memories came drifting back. Some of the treasures had belonged to Marie and came with her when she’d married Pa, some she’d made with her sons and one set had come all the way from Sweden. But the one that Adam held dearest was the angel for on top. It had belonged to his mother and had graced the tree of the only Christmas she had with his father. He picked it up tenderly and ran his fingertips lightly over its faded face and molting wings. Over the years and through much handling many of the feathers had become matted or simply fallen away, but to him she was perfect. Her robe was still pristine white and her cheeks cherry pink. Her painted on smile and eyes were as clear and bright as the day she came into the Cartwright family. As if made of the finest porcelain, he laid her lovingly to one side and turned his attention back to the box.

“Well, we’ve got enough here for a good-sized tree and with strings of peanuts and your gingerbread cutouts and candles it’ll be a sight to behold. But this year I want something special, and I’ve worked my brain until it hurts but can’t think of anything.”

“You alleady make it special.”

The single eyebrow rose as he looked around. “And how did I do that?”

“You here. Family think they have Clismas this year without first-born but now have him back. This make it velly special. Best Clismas of all time.”

Adam hadn’t thought of it that way, but Hop Sing was right. It was special that they were all together after nearly being separated so cruelly. Adam put his hand on his shoulder and squeezed and didn’t mind if Hop Sing saw the tears glistening in his eyes.

“All right, that’s taken care of,” he said and gave one of his customary winks. “Now all we have to do is get a tree, and with me sick I can’t very well go get it.”

“Hands be plenty happy to go.”

“Especially if I pay them a little extra and let them go into Virginia City.” He rubbed at the stubble along his jaw line as he pondered it. “I’ll ask Mitch and Burt. They both have girls in town. Now let’s see the wedding is tomorrow and won’t be until noon.”

“And next day Clismas Eve.”

“So that gives us two days to work with.”

“I bake cookies today and alleady started on peanuts.”

“Now I’m gonna ask you to go back out in the cold. I need for you to tell those two that I wantta see ‘em.”

“Allight, Mista Adam.” The obsidian eyes glittered in the firelight like polished onyx. “I hardly wait to see father and blothers when they see tree.”

“Me too, Hop Sing, me too.”

The little cook pulled his coat closer around him then ventured back outside. Adam turned to the angel again and picked her up. He ran his thumb tenderly along her painted on golden tresses and felt the tears release. Hop Sing was right; this was going to be the best Christmas ever.

*******

Ben was standing at one of the floor-to-ceiling, cherry wood built-in bookcases that lined three of the walls in the study. Books, tomes and periodicals of all sorts filled the shelves and it was like being in a small windowless library. He was in there to keep his mind busy, but it had yet to work. Behind him the door opened and there was a brushing swish, but he hardly noticed.

“Homesick?” Vanessa Van Hoff asked as she moved lithely into the room.

He turned to her with a brown leather bound volume in his hands. “Am I that obvious?”

“Well, you have been a bit preoccupied since you got here, and Joe told me that Adam was sick. We love our children, and we do what we can to see that they’re safe, but that isn’t always easy, especially after they’re grown. Once they’re out on their own it’s more difficult to watch after them, not that they’d want us to.” A smile lit her well-rounded face.

“I know, and Adam has always been so independent, more so than his brothers.”

“Yes, he is, but that isn’t entirely it, is it?” she said as she stopped in front of him. “June was only six months ago.”

“You can read me like one of these,” Ben said as he held up the book then laid it on the desk.

“I’ve had years of practice with Peter, who isn’t exactly an open one of those. Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’ve done that so much already that I’m running out of things to say. I’ve talked about it with the doctor, I’ve talked about it with Adam, and I’ve talked about it with Joe and Hoss and even Hop Sing.” He shook his head. “But I don’t think all the talking in the world is going to change a thing.”

“It won’t.”

He looked at her straight. “You’re rather discouraging.”

“I don’t mean to be, but it happened and nothing can ever change that, you’re going to have to live with it. Time will soften it though, just like it always does and simply getting how you feel about it out in the open will help too. Now if you want to talk later you always know where to find me.” She kissed him on the cheek and squeezed his hands in hers then left him alone again, easing the door together behind her.

Ben just stood there thinking about what she’d said to him. She as right in that nothing could ever change what had happened, but he just didn’t think he wanted to hash it over anymore. With a deep sigh he picked up the book and opened it. It was tales in Greek mythology. He thumbed back the front pages until he came to the first story, and his heart began to thump. It was about Daedalus and his son Icarus and how they escaped from the Labyrinth in Crete. But what Ben remembered most was how Daedalus lost his boy when he flew too close to the sun and it melted the wax of his wings, and he plummeted into the sea. He leafed through but stopped at the end of the story when he came to a lithograph of the distraught father holding his boy’s lifeless body in his arms. He slammed the book shut and stuffed it roughly back into its place on the bookshelf. He wanted to go home so badly that it was about to tear him in two. Oh, why did he let them talk him into this?

SIX

Adam sat in the red leather chair near the fire and Hop Sing was on the settee and on the table between them was a large bowl of shelled peanuts. Adam popped a handful into his mouth and they crunched in his teeth.

“You eat up all peanuts and we have none left for tree,” he admonished as he strung another one, “so you stop before Hop Sing have to get bloom.”

Adam grinned like a Cheshire cat and another handful went into his mouth.

“Stop that!”

There was a knock at the door and two sets of eyes went in that direction. Without a word Hop Sing laid his work down and went to answer it. Adam snipped a couple more from the bowl while the little man’s back was turned and put another one on the string. As the door opened back cold rammed its way inside to fight with the warmth.

“Who is it, Hop Sing?”

“It Mitch and Burt. They here with tree.”

Adam’s attention left his project, and he came to his feet. In all his child-like exuberance he had forgotten about the time and that the men still hadn’t returned.

“All right, Hop Sing, have ‘em bring it on in.”

With a little tugging and grunting and a few cuss words the seven foot young pine was finally in the parlor. A large ex of boards had been nailed to the base of its trunk so it would stand without benefit of roots. It was put between the end of the fireplace and the foot of the stairs.

“She’s a real beauty, boys,” Adam said as his eyes rose up along its stately branches. “Thanks for going to get it and tomorrow you’ll get that bonus like I promised.”

“Ain’t necessary,” Burt said. “We didn’t do it fer the money. We done it ‘cause it’s Christmas an’ you an’ your family’s always been mighty good to us.”

“That’s right,” Mitch added. “An’ anyway, it was like when we was young’uns back home. We had a good time.”

Adam gave them a broad grin as he turned back to them. “Thanks, boys, and Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” they said in unison then went back out.

“Well, Hop Sing,” he said as he looked at the tree again, “we’ve certainly got our work cut out for us if we intend to get this done before Pa and the boys get home.”

“We get it done.”

“Now that’s what I like to hear, optimism.”

“Not optimism, it knowing Mista Adam.”

They stood together and just looked at the thing of beauty that nature had created. And while they couldn’t improve on that, they could add some embellishments, and hopefully before the family returned.

*******

Joe sat in the chair in his bedroom, a fluffy feather pillow beneath the part that kept hitting the ice. The tendons up and down the backs of his ankles and legs had already started to settle sore. He’d never been on a pair of skates in his life, and if he had his way, he never would be again. A part of him was glad he’d gone, but an even larger part wished he’d taken his pistol and shot himself in the foot. And the very next time Hoss pushed him into something like this he was the one that would get seriously shot, big oaf.

There was a knock at the door and it opened before he could answer.

“I thought you might like some hot cocoa after that chilling experience,” Vanessa said as she came in with a steaming cup.

“Thank you, Mrs. Van Hoff,” he said as he took it from her and wrapped both hands around it. It wasn’t too sweet – just as he liked it – and the way it warmed as it went down was delightful.

“Your brother and my impish daughter should be spanked for what they did to you.”

“That I’d like to see.”

“I wouldn’t wonder if they conspired behind your back.”

“I wouldn’t be at all surprised,” he said and took another sip.

“If you’d like, you can take supper in your room. I’ll have Gretchen make up a tray and bring to you, and I’ll explain in a way that nobody can object to.”

“Thank you. I think if I have to sit next to Hoss tonight even Pa won’t be able to keep me from bustin’ ‘im.

She stepped to the side of the bed and eased her ample proportions down onto it. “I’m so glad you and your family came, but I can’t help but wonder if maybe it would’ve been better if your father had stayed home.”

“Oh, you mean about Adam,” he said over the rim of his cup and took another sip.

“Yes,” she said with a nod. “I remember after we lost Alex, Peter hovered over the other four like a protective eagle. He was always nervous when he didn’t know where they were or what they were doing, and if they so much as got the sniffles, ah,” and she threw both hands up in the air. “But after about a year he began to quiet down.”

“And what about you?”

“I’m a mother. I had four children still to raise and a husband, and they needed for me to be strong for them.”

“That doesn’t mean you weren’t hurt too. He was just as much your son as he was Peter’s.”

“True, and sometimes I cried with them when they needed me to, but mostly I cried when I was alone.” She reached out, and her soft, plump fingers closed around his wrist, and she smiled. “We’re having roast capon with chestnut stuffing. I’ll see that you get an ample portion.” She stood and took his chin in her hand and tilted his face up and kissed him on the forehead. “I like to think that if Alex had lived to become a man he would have turned out like Ben Cartwright’s sons.”

Joe thought he caught a glint of moisture in her light brown eyes. He watched her as she bustled back out and closed the door. He liked to think that if his mother had lived to see him become a man it would have been like this.

*******

After they had eaten Ben retired early. He wasn’t in the mood for visiting. He didn’t like being so antisocial and it wasn’t like him but he figured that in his present state his company wouldn’t be missed.

He had no sooner closed his bedroom door and got his lamp lit than there came a light rapping. Who it was and what they wanted he had no idea, but whomever, he hoped they didn’t stay long. He thought about asking who it was and lying and saying he was already undressed but he wouldn’t do that.

The tapping came again so he answered it. “What is it, Hoss?” he asked as he opened the door back.

The soft blue eyes probed his face as it looking for some outward sign of something. “You all right, Pa? You was awful quiet at supper an’ you didn’t eat enough to keep a bug alive.”

“I’m all right, just tired.”

“You’re still frettin’ over Adam, ain’t ya?”

“I guess I am some, but tomorrow I should be better. Seeing Janette married and knowing that we’ll soon be going home will help. Now why don’t you go on back downstairs? I’m sure Daniel, Peter Jr. and Garret can find something for you to do, if I know boys, and I think I do by this time.”

“You sure, Pa?”

“I’m sure.” Ben took his arm in a firm but gentle grip. “Now you go on, son. I’m honestly all right.”

Hoss just continued to look at him for a few seconds then he turned and went back toward the stairs. Ben smiled and smoothed back his thick, silver hair then closed the door. He adored each and every one of his sons, but for worrying about them he believed that his hair was whiter than it should be for his age. He also believed that seeing what he had in the back of that wagon and experienced afterward had aged him ten years, ten years he could never regain. But there was no sense lamenting over it, what was done was done, and he couldn’t alter any of it.

He sat down in the chair and began removing his boots. Tomorrow was the twenty-third and the next day – Christmas Eve – they would start back to the Ponderosa and thinking about it made his palms sweat with anticipation. He wanted to see his son and reassure himself that he was all right. He couldn’t stand to lose him again.

*******

The smell of ginger wafted its way through as it headed on upstairs, but the delectable scent was lost to Adam who had dozed off in the chair. Of course, even if he had been awake, his sense of smell was still severely on the fritz. As the evening had progressed his malady had turned back around on him and what energy he had through the day had dissipated and left him feeling more like he had the night before.

Hop Sing had been baking cookies for the tree and planned on staying up late to get them done, if the need arose. He didn’t mind, however, since he could slip in and check on Mista Adam. His boy – sick though he was – had been a delight to be with this day. They had laughed and had a wonderful time stringing the peanut garland and watching the light that shone in the dark hazel eyes as they went through the ornaments made his heart sing. The first-born was home and this Christmas would be brighter for it.

SEVEN

The morning of the day Janette Van Hoff would marry Wyatt Detteril dawned frigid and gray. The threat of snow hung heavier over the land than it had since Thanksgiving and everyone knew that if it didn’t come today it would most likely arrive through the night or tomorrow.

Ben Cartwright couldn’t stay away from the windows all through the morning, his coffee eyes always directed skyward. No one had to be told what was on his mind.

After breakfast – of which he picked like a bird – he put on his coat and hat and went outside. As he walked toward the back of the house he heard boy’s shouting and laughter so he decided to investigate. As he came around to the rear portico he looked out across the expanse of land. He grinned and crossed his arms as he watched the Van Hoff sons – aged fifteen, fourteen and twelve – engaged in a rather boisterous snowball fight. Not a sound or movement did he make lest he distract them.

Peter Jr. crouched and scooped some snow and packed it as he came to his feet, but before he could throw brown-eyed Daniel plastered his baby brother in the side of his blond head. Suddenly, a loud whoop drew Ben’s attention to the right as Joe joined the fray. His well aimed snowball caught gangly Garret right between the shoulder blades. It made Ben laugh and for the time being lifted the dark cloud that had settled over him.

Now the brothers had banded together against the interloper. Three cold, wet projectiles pelted Joe all at once. “Hey, that isn’t fair!” he shouted. “That’s three against one!”

“Well, that’ll teach you to fool around with the Van Hoff brothers!” Daniel shouted triumphantly and the other two heartily agreed.

“I wish I had Adam here!” Joe shouted back defiantly. “He’s the champion snowball thrower of all time! He’d show you!”

At the mention of his oldest son’s name Ben was brought abruptly back to earth with a hard jolt. What had been enjoyable a moment ago now only suited to remind him of what he wanted to get home to. The joyous melee had lost its allure as he turned and went back into the house.

He made his way back in through to the foyer and was just starting upstairs when Peter called out to him.

“Ben, you’re just the man I’ve been looking for. I’m going to see Reverend Forsyth about some last minute details, and I thought you might like to come with me.”

“I don’t think so, Peter. I just want to go up to my room.”

“It’ll do you a world of good to get outside for a while.

“I’ve just come in from outside, and I’ve had enough for one day,” Ben said rather curtly. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d just like to go to my room.”

“All right, Ben,” Peter said then he watched as Ben finished going up the stairs and vanished down the hall. It hurt him for his friend to be like this. He’d known this man and his sons for close to five years, and he liked them very much and this was painful to see. He shook his head and smoothed his sandy hair then pulled his coat collar up around his neck and put on his hat and went out the front door.

*******

Adam was up a little earlier this morning than he had been over the past few and felt that he maybe had a trifle more get-up-and-go. His face maybe wasn’t so stuffed and the taste of his bacon had come through better and his body maybe didn’t ache as much. He’d finished stringing the peanuts and now it was time to hang the cookies. They were shaped like stars and wonderfully spiced and crisp.

“From what I can tell you’ve outdone yourself with these this year,” Adam said and took another bite.

Hop Sing’s mouth set into a firm, flat line, and his wadded fists went to his hips. “First you eat up peanuts now eat up cookies, maybe next you eat tree.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, you know I prefer oak,” and he hung another cutout.

The flat line turned up on the corners then Hop Sing got another cookie and climbed the ladder to hang it near the top.

“I bet Pa and those brothers of mine are probably running around trying to get ready right now.” A melancholy cast came over his face, and he didn’t move. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to go. I would’ve liked to see Janette get married.”

“You too sick,” Hop Sing said as he came down the ladder. “It best you stay in house. Van Hoffs good people, they understand why you not come. And you send beautiful chest to Missy Janette”

“I know,” he took a deep breath and some of the sadness melted away, “but a Christmastime wedding would’ve been nice.” He stuffed the last remnants of his cookie into his mouth then picked up another one and hung it from a bottom branch. Crossing his arms over his chest, he stepped back and gave the tree a wide view. “This is looking better every second. By the time we’re finished it’ll be one of the best trees we’ve ever had.”

“Yes, this one best of all.”

Adam looked around at him as the little man’s eyes stayed ahead. He knew what Hop Sing meant, and he had to agree. Putting an arm around his shoulders, Adam let his eyes rove over the majestic pine. The tears returned to sting behind the dark hazel and the eagerness for those he loved to return home steadily built.

*******

The boys – Joe included – had to practically be forced at gunpoint to come in and get ready. There was a lot of low grumbling and complaining among them but they knew better than to let their mother hear. The wedding was scheduled for noon and it was now nine o’clock and the household was all in a dither. Servants scurried back and forth, carriages and horses were to be made ready, the meal to be prepared, and the bride had to be perfect.

Vanessa was coming up the stairs with an armload of freshly washed and pressed petticoats as Hoss was coming out of his bedroom.

“My, Hoss, don’t you look splendid,” she said cheerily. “One day you’ll make a real catch for some young lady.”

“Thank you, ma’am. Here, let me git the door for you,” he said as he took hold of the crystal knob.

“All right, but don’t you dare look inside,” she said with a naughty grin.

“Oh, no, ma’am,” and his face flushed with embarrassment then he pushed it open, careful avert his eyes.

She thanked him and went inside, and he pulled the door together. Now he knew he’d better go check on his little brother. Joe sometimes seemed to lose track of the time, not that he really meant to, and it wasn’t as bad as it had been when he was younger. He pushed open the door and went straight in.

“Don’t you ever knock?” Joe said tersely as his accusatory eyes came around.

“Sure I do, but I weren’t in the mood to be told to go away.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Joe said with a smirk as he stood in front of the mirror running a brush through his thick, dark brown hair. No matter how hard he tried it didn’t want to stay where he put it.

“Have you seen Pa since breakfast?” Hoss asked as he picked up his brother’s dark coat and absentmindedly brushed it off with his hand.

“I caught sight of ‘im when I was out back with the boys.”

“What was he doin’?”

“Watching us, nothing else, just watching.” Joe turned around, and he took on a puzzled expression. “And, you know, I thought he was enjoyin’ himself then he just turned around and came back in the house.”

“Well, maybe he’d had enough o’ watchin’ you play like a young’un.”

“No, I don’t think that was it. Before I got hit in the face with a snowball I thought I noticed that he looked kinda sad.”

“Maybe somethin’ happened or somebody said somethin’.”

Joe’s face went pasty, and his eyes became more black than green.

“What is it, Joe?”

“When the boys came after me all at once I told ‘em I wished… Adam was here.”

“Well, now you cain’t go around worryin’ about sayin’ his name just cause it might upset Pa. I mean, it ain’t like he’s dead or nothin’ like that. Pa’s always fussed over us, it just got worse after what happened, an’ he wouldn’t be our pa if’n it hadn’t.”

“You’re right; I just hate seeing ‘im like this.”

“We all do, but they ain’t a thing we can do about it an’ walkin’ around on egg shells ain’t gonna help. We cain’t go all our lives afraid to talk about our own brother. Now here,” he held the coat out to Joe, “you best put this on an’ git yourself ready before Pa comes in here.”

Joe took it from him and began hastily slipping his arms into the sleeves.

“Now I’ll go back out an’ head ‘im off if’n he’s comin’ this way.”

Hoss left, leaving the door slightly ajar, and Joe finished up. His brothers had always been good at building a fire under him when it needed to be built. He ran the brush over his defiant hair once more and it still refused to comply with his wishes. Glaring at his reflection, he threw it onto the bead and stormed out.

EIGHT

Ben Cartwright heard little of what the minister was saying or paid much attention to what was around him. He sat in one of the front pews flanked on either side by his sons. He was sorry for being such a wet blanket but he simply couldn’t tear his mind away from home, and not so much the place as his son.

He finally looked up and couldn’t help the smile that tipped his mouth. Janette was radiant in her white veil and satin gown and Wyatt Detteril was a truly handsome young man, and from all he’d gathered, a fine one too. For several seconds it darted into his mind when one of his sons would give him a daughter-in-law. Adam had come closest to it with Laura Dayton, but it simply hadn’t been meant to be. His eyes pinched together as he thought of his oldest in that awful wheelchair.

“I now pronounce you man and wife,” Reverend Forsyth said.

The deliriously happy young couple turned to face those that filled the seats. Wyatt didn’t kiss his new bride since it was encouraged that those of good breeding and of society simply shouldn’t do such things. As they started down the aisle Ben warmly took Janette’s hand. “You make a simply beautiful bride, Janette. You’re not the little girl anymore that I remember when you first came here.”

“Thank you, Mr. Cartwright.”

“Pa’s right,” Joe said, “and it makes me see what I let get away.”

“I hope you two is real happy an’ have a long life without much troubles in it.”

“Why thank you, Hoss, that’s so sweet. Thank you all.”

As she headed out on the arm of her freshly minted husband she was congratulated along the way. Her father followed after them with her weeping mother and the bridesmaids and groomsmen.

The procession of carriages back to the Van Hoff’s house was led by the black double-brougham bearing the bride and groom and her parents. As guests arrived they were conducted by the groomsmen to offer congratulations to the couple then they were shown back to the grand dining room.

The meal was superb and the setting elegant. Glasses were kept filled with wine at all times. Roast pheasant was the centerpiece of a dining experience that would be talked about in the social pages of the newspaper. Discourse was light and focused entirely on Janette and Wyatt.

Ben was as bright and cordial as he could be, and he let himself enjoy the food and drink as much as possible under the circumstances. This was their day and the memories of it would last them a lifetime, and he didn’t want to spoil it for them.

*******

At Hop Sing’s insistence, they had taken a break from tree decorating so Adam could eat something other than cookies, and he could rest from his boy’s enthusiasm. It was a good thing it had been curbed by his illness or it would have worn the little man to nothing.

Adam had gone into the kitchen where it was nice and toasty and they could talk while Hop Sing cooked.

“I can hardly wait to see the looks on their faces when they see what we’ve done while they’ve been gone,” he said as he dipped the spoon into the hot chicken stew. “We’ll show ‘em that we haven’t just been sitting around while they enjoyed the social whirl.” Then he stopped, and his face went somber as he glanced back at the window. “I don’t like the looks at that sky, though. I hope they don’t get caught in something and if it’s bad I hope they don’t try it. I know they’ll be safe and welcome at the Van Hoff’s.” He laughed and took a bite. “And well fed, Vanessa’ll see to that.”

“That make Mista Hoss plenty happy.”

“On second thought, I wonder if they’ve got enough.” He laughed again and took another bite.

By the time he finished he’d had a second helping and scraped the bowl clean both times. His taste was indeed starting to come back and with it his appetite. He went back into the parlor, but instead of the chair he sat down on the settee. His belly was full, and he was warm, and his eyelids were becoming increasingly heavy. As he watched the flames flirt with the inside of the hearth, sleep became more and more of a possibility. He thought about getting up and at something but it felt too good right where he was.

It had been close to ten or fifteen minutes since his boy had gone back into the parlor, Hop Sing guessed, and he was awfully quiet. Drying his hands on his apron from where he was cleaning up at the sink, he went out into the dining room. From there the big room looked empty of life, but as he came closer he saw the long, still form stretched out on the settee. He padded softly around by the low table. Adam was lying on his side facing the fire, and he was sound asleep. Hop Sing grinned as he watched him. When the Number One son was deep in slumber it was possible to see the child that Hop Sing had first met so many years ago. Silently, he took the blanket from where it had been hung on the back of the chair and draped it over Adam. It wasn’t that cold in here but he didn’t want to run the risk of his boy catching a chill. He reached out and pushed back the black wisp then went back into the kitchen. Adam never moved and didn’t even know he had been there.

*******

The events of the day had left everyone wrung out and after a light supper the inhabitants of the big house were fairly quiet. Even the boys seemed to be enjoying the tranquil time. Janette was at the Detteril’s with her new husband and things weren’t the same without her laughter and zest for life. Joe and Hoss were engaged in a subdued game of checkers as Daniel, Garret and Peter Jr. watched and kibitzed.

Ben was exhausted and just wanted to go to his room with the book he’d snared from the study. He’d been more careful about his choice of reading material this time and selected Two Years Before the Mast by Richard Henry Dana. He knew there wouldn’t be time to finish it but it would keep his mind busy until bedtime, and he had read it before. As he drew closer to his room he thought he heard faint sobbing. He stood perfectly still and listened in an effort to figure out where it was emanating from. All the time he’d spent at sea when it was important to know from where a sound came and what had caused it came into play. He moved down along the hall in what he thought was the right direction and it grew louder. Now he knew where and from whom it came, and he pushed the door to Janette’s room open. Her mother was sitting on the edge of the bed holding a small, frilly pillow and crying.

He started to leave when a tearstained voice said his name, and he turned back around. “Come in,” she said.

He went in and sat in the chair across from her as she asked him to, the book in his lap.

“I see you needed a diversion too,” she said as she gestured to the novel.

“Just something to keep my mind from wandering.”

“It doesn’t work,” she said with a snort.

“I know, but I thought I’d give it a try anyway.”

A poignant smile barely materialized. “I miss my little girl,” she said with a sniffle and dabbed at her eyes with a white linen handkerchief. “No, that’s not right. She’s not a little girl anymore, but I still miss her.”

“And that’s as it should be, but she’s not so far away, and you do have a new son.”

The tears built up again. “Wyatt’s a fine young man and we’re all very fond of him, but it’s just not the same,” and her voice cracked. She looked down at her hands as she twisted the dainty piece of lace edged fabric. “Oh, Ben, how do we stand it? We love them, we’re there for them, and we lose them.”

“Well, they do grow up, and we have to let them.”

“And sometimes they die,” she said as her sad brown eyes came up to his face.

Ben felt his insides fall away and a cold rush take his breath. She was missing Alex too, and he knew exactly how she felt. Losing a child was the most terrible thing that could happen to a parent. He had experienced all the pain, swallowing grief and intense, all encompassing loss but had been more fortunate than most. Still, all the roiling emotion that it had evoked remained alive beneath the surface and would for some time to come, this he knew with all certainty. And daily he said a fervent prayer that he would never know it again. He put a hand over top of hers, and she clutched his fingers like a vise.

“Forgive a woman her tears.”

“There’s nothing to forgive. Whatever else you are, you’re still a mother, and they have more reason to cry than women who’ve never had children.”

“Thank you, Ben, you’re a dear friend, the dearest kind, but now if you don’t mind I think I’d like to be alone again.”

“I don’t mind, I understand,” he said and gave her hand a squeeze.

They looked into each others eyes and empathy passed between them. He took his hand away and left her, closing the door behind him. He listened for a few seconds but it remained quiet, and he started for his room. He doubted – now more than ever – that the book would be of any help but he would still give it a try.

He entered his bedroom and closed himself off for the night. Tomorrow he would be starting home, home to Adam, and he hoped that would give comfort enough for him to sleep, though this he doubted as well. He got undressed and put on a nightshirt, propped up his pillows then climbed into bed. He opened the book in the middle and started with the first full paragraph on page twenty-one. As he’d anticipated he had trouble focusing on it, but it was enough and before long he nodded off and it lay open on his lap.

*******

Outside – while people slept in ignorant bliss – the wind crashed through the trees and howled like a pack of wolves. Tiny white particles mixed in with it and flitted about like ethereal insects. Night had fallen on the Comstock and with it had come the snow.

NINE

It had been snowing when Adam awoke and it hadn’t stopped or let up once. He was taking his breakfast in the kitchen again but his mind wasn’t much on it. For the ninth time since he’d sit down he popped up to look out the window.

At the sound of movement behind him, Hop Sing looked around from where he was stirring the ingredients for the cake together. His black brows knit and his jaw tightened. “That not help. It not make snow stop or get family home it only let food get cold.” He went to Adam and – taking his arm – tugged him toward the table. “Now you sit down and eat. Need energy to finish tree. Now sit.”

Adam reluctantly let himself be pushed down into the chair with a glance back. “I sure hope Pa doesn’t try to come home in this. It’s bad enough now but it could get so much worse real quick and without warning.”

“You father have good judgment and level head.”

“Most of the time,” he said as he cut off a bite of ham, “but in the last bit it seems to’ve gone someplace.” He stuffed it into his mouth and chewed out of habit.

“They be all light. Now you eat,” and he turned back to his task.

Hop Sing worked the flour into the spiced molasses batter until it was stiff and more like cookie dough. As he worked it in he heard the chair scrape the floor and turned around. With a groan he let his head drop and his arms fall to his side. This was futile and a waste of his time so he went back to work on the cake and tried to ignore what was going on behind him.

*******

Ben stalked back and forth in front of the fireplace in the parlor like a nervous cougar, his hands clasped behind his back. Joe and Hoss and the Van Hoff sons watched him but no one dared say anything.

“Benjamin Cartwright,” Vanessa said briskly as she came in from the foyer, “you’re only working yourself into a state and it isn’t helping a thing. Now you need to come to breakfast.” She gave Joe a look and a slight nod.

With a jerk of his head he stood. “I don’t know about anybody else but I’m hungry as a wolf.” His eyes connected with his brother’s.

“Not me,” Hoss said as he started for the arched doorway at the back of the room that led to a smaller dining room adjacent to the kitchen, “I’m hungrier ‘n any pack o’ wolves.”

This wasn’t lost on the older two boys and they let themselves be herded out along with their more naive little brother. Vanessa went to Ben and stood his pacing as long as she could.

“Ben, why don’t you come and eat? This is only upsetting you more.”

“Is it still snowing?” he asked as he whirled to face her.

“Yes, but this won’t make it stop, and the worst that can happen is that you‘ll have to stay here for a little while. Peter and the boys are hoping to go for the tree after breakfast and some of the decorations are baking as we speak.”

“Thank you, Vanessa,” he said a little more calmly, “but I have to get home. As nice as it’s been I shouldn’t’ve come, but I did, and now I need to get back.”

“Ben,” she put a gentle hand on his arm, “didn’t you tell Hop Sing to wire if anything went wrong?”

“Yes, I did, and I know how easily Adam could talk him out of it.” He mouth set and his eyes darkened. “No, my mind is made up. I’ll eat, but as soon as I’m done I’m starting home. Joe and Hoss can stay if they’d like but I have to get back to my son.”

“All right, Ben. I’ll tell Peter and your horses will be ready.” Her fingers tightened. “And believe me, I do understand.”

“I know you do, Vanessa, I know you do.”

She took his arm, and they went through the doorway the others had gone through.

*******

Adam tried to concentrate on what he was doing but knowing Pa as he did he couldn’t help himself. Visions of his father and brothers – for he knew they would never let Pa come alone – being adrift in a raging snow storm tormented him to distraction. Every sound that he thought came from outside took him to the window, even though he knew it was probably too soon. He hung an ornament and made another attempt at keeping his mind away from what he knew he couldn’t control.

Stepping over in front of the fireplace for a brief respite he looked down into the blaze and pulled the front of his robe together. He wasn’t cold but the thought of his family out in this and maybe lost chilled him and laced him with guilt because he knew why.

Hop Sing came in with a cup of his hot, spicy tea and went to his boy. “Here, this make you feel better, and maybe you taste. I put lot of ginger and nutmeg in like last time.”

“Thank you, Hop Sing,” he said as it was handed to him, and he took a sip. “I can taste it some, and it’s very good.”

They went quiet as they looked into the snapping flames then the little man put a hand on Adam’s shoulder.

“You not wolly, they be all light.”

Adam said nothing but continued to sip and glanced around at him then right back into the hearth. With one pat Hop Sing went on toward the kitchen but only got as far as the doorway when he stopped and looked back. It was obvious that Adam wasn’t the only one that was worried.

*******

Ben put on his gloves and pulled his hat down in front as Joe and Hoss were buttoning up their coats and adjusting their collars around their necks. Vanessa and her sons were standing at the base of the curving staircase watching them. The saddlebags had been taken out earlier so they wouldn’t have to fool with it now and the horses were in the process of being brought around front. Peter came in through the front door but couldn’t get it closed before a puff of flakes came with him.

“The horses are waiting,” he said as he took his hat off and slapped it against his leg. “Ben, I really wish you would reconsider. It’s starting to blow pretty fiercely out there, and if the snow gets any heavier you could lose an elephant in it, not to mention that it’s getting colder.”

“We’ll be all right, Peter,” Ben said as he brought his scarf over his hat and tied it under his chin. “It isn’t so far.”

“Under ideal conditions, but in weather like this it’ll surely take longer. And I don’t even like to think about it if it gets any worse.”

“I tell you what, Peter, if we see we can’t make it we’ll turn around and come back,” Ben said and gave him a reassuring pat.

“Well, sometimes by the time you figure that out it’s already too late. I still don’t like it but I know you well enough not to try to talk you out of it.” Peter’s cornflower eyes went to Hoss and Joe.

“We know better too,” Joe said as he pulled on his gloves.

“Since I can’t talk you out of it I’ll just wish you luck,” Peter said as he extended his hand, “and tell you how glad I am you came, all of you. I’m only sorry Adam couldn’t, and I know that’s why you’re so eager to get home.”

“I’m afraid I wasn’t a very pleasant houseguest,” Ben said as he gave it a hearty shake, “but I haven’t been able to take my mind off him.”

“That’s all right, Ben, we understand.”

Ben shook hands with the boys, since they were too big for hugs then turned to their mother. “Thank you, Vanessa, I know I haven’t been easy to live with but you’ve been wonderful.”

“No, Ben, I should thank you.” She put her arms around him and hugged then kissed him on the cheek. “I wish you and Joe and Hoss could stay but, like Peter says, I understand why you can’t. In your place I wouldn’t either.”

“We both understand.”

He rejoined Peter by the door as his sons said their goodbyes then they were ready to go. The four of them went outside and once the door closed Vanessa couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. Daniel – who was as tall as his mother – put his arms around her, and she cried into his shoulder.

“They’ll be all right, mother,” he said as he patted her on the back, but the dubious look he gave his brothers said he wasn’t so sure.

TEN

Ben, Joe and Hoss had been traveling about twenty minutes when the weather took it upon itself to behave a little better. The sun didn’t exactly come out but the sky did lighten some. There was now about an additional foot of snow on the ground that hadn’t been there the day before and what was falling now was like fine sand that stung faces and eyes. The going was difficult due to about three-and-a-half feet of the white stuff and the wind was still blowing, its gusts raising white dusty clouds.

The three men stayed close together in case things should pick up again and visibility became impaired. For as long as they had been going they should have been a lot farther along but there were too many things slowing their progress, though now they could see where they were headed.

“At this rate it’ll be midnight before we git home,” Hoss said as he looked up at the somber sky.

“It doesn’t matter,” Ben said, “just so we make it.”

“I wonder what Adam’s up to,” Joe said brightly in an attempt to cheer things up a bit. “I bet Hop Sing has ‘im pampered to where we won’t be able to live with ‘im.”

“I dunno, Joe, you know how our older brother hates to be waited on.”

“Not me, boy, I don’t mind. Hot food carried to the bed and people always wanting to do for you. No sir, I don’t mind it at all. The only bad part is getting sick. That I can do without.”

“We all can, Joe,” Hoss said as he shifted himself restlessly in the saddle.

“Don’t you agree, Pa?”

But it was as if no one had spoken to him, and they could see that his mind was miles away. The brothers just looked at each other and shrugged and rode on in silence with their father.

*******

Adam was a little more at ease since things outside weren’t as bad as they had been earlier. He knew that the potential for it to act up again still loomed, but for now it was fairly calm and so was he. The house was a warm, gentle oasis against the cold outside, and the scent of the baking cake and cooking dried apples filled the big room and made a newly returning sense of smell make a man’s mouth water. The tree was shaping up nicely in between his breaks and pine boughs had been cut by some of the hands from the surrounding trees for over the fireplace. A garland of peanuts was laced in with its fronds and a few ornaments hung from it.

As Adam stood admiring his handiwork Hop Sing came in with a sandwich on a plate and a glass of milk.

“Well, whadaya think?”

“It look velly pletty, but now it time for you to eat.”

“I have to admit that I am a little hungry. All this work stirs up an appetite and it’s nice having one again.” He took it from Hop Sing and sat down in the blue chair. Until the first bite he hadn’t realized how hungry he really was, and it tasted pretty good too. “If the weather holds off they should get home before dark.”

“Maybe they decide to wait and stay with Van Hoffs.”

“Oh, no, not if I know my father. They’ll be home. If he could help it Pa’d no more spend Christmas away from here than fly,” and he took a bite.

Hop Sing hid a grin as he watched him go after his food. It wasn’t here that Ben Cartwright was so eager to get back to, and he knew it even if the first-born didn’t. He’d never seen anyone blossom like Ben had when his son came back to him, and now he was coming back to his son.

“You finish eat then lest. It be long time before family get home, and you not want to make self sick again.”

“All right, Pa,” Adam said with an impish smirk and took a swig of milk.

“Eat not talk,” Hop Sing said as a scowl came over his face, but his obsidian eyes continued to glisten. He watched as the sandwich and milk continued to disappear then he went back to his stove.

Once the plate was clean and the glass emptied Adam just sat with his eyes fixed on the big logs as the fire continued its consumption. He’d thought about moving to the red chair but it was too easy to go to sleep there, and that he didn’t want to do. The tree was still to finish, and he wanted to be awake when his family got home.

His eyes were getting drowsy as they seemed to like to do a lot these days after eating, especially when he got in front of the fireplace. He was fighting it when a notion came to him; he had yet to put out the presents he’d bought. It would take several trips to retrieve them from under his bed so he might as well get to it. He pulled himself up and started for the stairs. His eyelids still had an inclination to close but he hoped the activity would change that. He got as far as the landing and stopped as he remembered that there was a special gift in the top left drawer of his dresser. One side of his mouth crooked as his eyes went toward the dining room and came to rest on the doorway. For nearly a minute he simply stood there then he went the rest of the way then down the hall.

*******

A rest break had been called so the horses could recover from the exertion of forging their way through the snow, some of it drifted. Trees and bushes became makeshift privies and canteens and jerky came out. Joe and Hoss could see that their father was champing at the bit to get moving again. He didn’t try to hide it or even check his agitation as he took it out on a piece of the dried meat. But they all knew that without their mounts their chances of making it home would be slim and none, at best, and for now the weather was fairly decent.

“I make it out to be right around straight up noon,” Hoss said with a quick look to the sky. “Course, with the sun pretty much covered it’s kinda hard to be sure.”

Joe hung his canteen strap over the saddle horn and scrounged around – fighting the tail of his coat – until he came out with his pocket watch. “It’s five minutes after twelve,” he said then snapped it shut and put it back. “You didn’t miss it by much.”

“I said right around, Joe,” Hoss said huffily as he chewed. “I didn’t say it was noon.”

“All right,” Joe said and held up a hand in defense and mangled off a bite. “You don’t have to be so sensitive about it. It’s not like I was trying to hurt your feelings or anything like that.”

Hoss just glared at his little brother. “I never said you was, Joe.”

“I think we’ve been here long enough,” Ben announced. “Things could close in on us again and we’re just wasting time.” He went to Buck and eased into the saddle. “I’d like to get home before dark if at all possible, and this isn’t getting it done.”

His sons agreed with him then followed his lead. They let him move out a little ahead of them, and they were on their way again.

*******

Except for the angel – which would wait for the family to get home – Adam had just put the finishing touches on the tree when Hop Sing came in to check on him.

“That look velly nice,” Hop Sing said as he surveyed his boy’s expertise at tree decorating.

But Adam didn’t say anything and just stood with the sneaking grin he got when he was hiding something. Hop Sing looked around at him and no one had to tell him that this one was keeping a secret from him.

“Why you look like cat who eat canelly bird for? What you up to?”

Adam’s hand eased inside his robe and came out with a small, gift-wrapped box. “Merry Christmas,” he said as he held it out to the little cook.

Hop Sing only gawked at the red-beribboned box as a lump rose in his throat, and his eyes misted. His hand trembled as he finally took it but he only stared at it.

“Well, go ahead and open it. I know it’s still Christmas Eve but I wanted to give this to you now while we’re alone.”

Gingerly, as if not to damage its contents, Hop Sing removed the ribbon and tore away the paper and let them drop. As if afraid opening it would break the magic he hesitated then finally looked inside. Nestled in tissue paper was a smoothly polished, highly detailed, carved fish of the finest lavender jade. He rubbed his fingers over its smooth surface, and it felt like silk.

“I know you already have a fish and a dragon to go with it, but they’re both green, and when I saw this one I simply couldn’t resist it. I figure a man can never have too much good luck. I bought it when I was in San Francisco back in April.”

Hop Sing looked at him, and his dark eyes floated in a sea of tears. What they would have missed, what he would have missed if the first-born had not returned home. “This most beauteous thing this humble one ever own. And it coming from Mista Adam make it even more special.” Then he quickly replaced the lid and picked the paper and ribbon up from where he’d dropped it. “You wait here.” Then he bustled off.

After several minutes he came back, and he had a long narrow box. It was wrapped in plain brown paper and tied with a piece of straw. On it had been painted good luck symbols in black ink. “This for you.”

Adam took it and was careful not to tear the paper for he wanted to keep it among his small stash of treasures. Upon opening the box he found that it contained guitar strings.

“They too come from San Flancisco. I know they hard to get out here so I have Number One Cousin send these to me.… I like to hear my boy play guitar and always sad when one blake.”

Now it was Adam’s turn to tear up. “Thank you, Hop Sing.” He took a deep, heavy breath. “It is so good to be home for Christmas.”

Quietly, they turned to face the tree and Adam put his arm over Hop Sing shoulders and the big grand father clock struck one.

*******

Beyond the trees and on toward the foothills of the Sierras the clouds were whirling and boiling. Any light had been effectively blotted out and the darkness was moving toward the unwary life that lived farther down. The wind driven snow it pushed out before it was more horizontal than was natural and it was a wonder any of it reached the ground. When it got to the low lands only those that were too stupid to take shelter or were caught afoul faced consequences that could be unfortunate indeed. It wasn’t playing games and certainly not playing favorites. Old Man Winter was about to have a fit of temper.

ELEVEN

It was close to two o’clock when nature’s wrath was vented and things got deadly serious. It was like being caught in a snow globe that had been savagely shaken. If hit from behind just right a man could be blown off his feet and buried in a matter of a very few seconds if he didn’t get up quickly.

Ben Cartwright and his sons had crossed onto the Ponderosa and what would have been a fairly easy ride to the house had turned into a struggle for survival. The men were hunkered low in their saddles and their horses’ heads were bowed to keep the snow out of their nostrils. Scarves had been brought around to protect their faces and keep their breath from being taken by the wind. They stayed close enough together so that they touched since it was nearly impossible to see and the fact that the sky was the color of soot didn’t help.

“We should’ve turned back when we had the chance!” Joe shouted into the gale.

“Well, it’s too late now!” Hoss shouted back.

“Does anybody have any idea where we are?” Ben’s voice boomed against the shriek.

“When this broke we was headed in the direction of the old Lerner homestead! But we could o’ been blowed off course!”

“All right, we’ll keep going this way and maybe we’ll see something familiar!”

“You’ve gotta be kidding, Pa!” Joe yelled with a nervous giggle. “I can hardly see you!”

“Well, let’s try anyway!”

They had no idea where they were or in which direction they were headed, for all they knew they could have gotten turned and be headed back toward Carson City. The horses moved at a snail’s pace as the depth of the snow continued to climb their legs.

The trees stood like silent, ghostly sentries in ever thickening white shrouds as they oversaw the passage of the Cartwrights in their efforts to find shelter. Travel was becoming increasingly difficult and the wind increasingly vicious.

What had he gotten himself and his sons in to? He should have never left Carson City as he’d been warned against doing, in fact, he should have stayed on the Ponderosa where he belonged. But he hadn’t and now they could all die because if his pigheadedness. He wasn’t so worried for himself, this was his doing, and he was right where he’d put himself, but he’d had no right to get Hoss and Joe into this. This was his fault and no one else’s.

“This is as far as we can go on the horses!” Ben shouted. “We’re going to have to walk and lead them!”

Joe and Hoss agreed and the three of them dismounted. They held the reins tightly and locked arms so they couldn’t get separated. That was just all anyone needed.

They kept going but the biting wind and the snow packed around their feet and legs had begun to leach the heat from them. If they didn’t find someplace to get in out of this soon they never would, and Adam would be the only Cartwright left.

They had long since lost track of time and the only thing they were aware of with any certainty was that it was running out. Nothing seemed familiar in this white and gray landscape and it couldn’t be more alien if they were on the moon. The horses were struggling and holding them back but they would never leave them to suffer and slowly succumb to the elements.

Suddenly, Hoss stopped and his grip tightened on his father and brother’s arms.

“What is it, Hoss?”

“It looks like they’s somethin’ up ahead, an’ it ain’t trees!”

“How can you tell?” Joe said as he squinted in an effort to see. “I can’t make out much of anything!”

“It looks different, not as tall maybe an’ wider!”

“Well, we don’t have a whole lot of choice so let’s check it out!” Ben commanded.

They started on again knowing full good and well that if Hoss was wrong they could all be dead.

*******

As Hop Sing came out into the dining room he noticed that it was awfully cold and the fire seemed to be fighting a losing battle. He came around the corner and saw that the big oak front door was hanging wide open and Adam was standing just outside the threshold.

“Why you do outside?” Hop Sing blurted as he rushed to him. “You go back in house!”

“They’re out there, Hop Sing, I know they are.”

“Maybe so but it not do them any good to make youself sicker, now come back in,” and he gave Adam’s arm a yank.

“And I’m to blame.”

“You not to blame,” he said as he kept trying to pull Adam into the house. “Now you come in or Mista Ben be plenty mad when he get home and find out.”

Adam allowed himself to be dragged inside but his dark hazel eyes never left out there until the door was slammed in his face.

“If it weren’t for Pa wanting to get back to me they’d still be safe at the Van Hoff’s. It’s because of me if they die.”

“You stop talk like that, and how you know they out there anyway?”

“I just know.” He finally turned his gaze on Hop Sing and determination registered in his face. “Somebody has to go find them.”

“Somebody will when snow stop, now too dangelous and they too easy to miss.”

“No,” Adam said shaking his head, “it has to be now because later could be too late. And since it’s my fault it’s my place to go.” He started toward the stairs undoing the belt of his robe.

Hop Sing ran ahead and got in front of him.

“Get out of my way, Hop Sing.”

“No, not ‘til you listen to leason.”

“There’s nothing to listen to. If they die because of me how can I live with it?”

“And if you get sick and die because of them how you think they feel? How you think they live with it?”

Adam froze perfectly still, and his intense eyes bore into the little man. He hadn’t thought of that, he had only been thinking of his own guilt feelings, but what about theirs? This time Pa wouldn’t survive, he couldn’t. He had heard the stories and the remembrance of the pale, emaciated shell of his father with sad, dark brown eyes sunk back in hollow sockets came before him. He had done it to them once, he couldn’t do it again.

“All right, Hop Sing…, but as soon as this breaks I want men out hunting for them.”

“They will be, now you come stand by fire,” and he began pulling at him again. “It not velly smart thing you go out in cold. You catch you death and Mista Ben be mad at us. Now you stand here like good boy, and I get tea.” Then he hustled back into the kitchen.

Adam stood there for only a couple seconds staring into the fire then he went to the window in his father’s study and opened back the curtains. It was howling madness out there, and his family was lost in it, he knew they were, and no one had to tell him. He wanted to go after them but Hop Sing had been right. It wouldn’t do any good to kill himself, and he certainly would by going out in this and catching a chill. And he also knew that if he died that way and now it would be tantamount to putting a gun to his father’s head and pulling the trigger, and that he didn’t want. He would stay in the house for them and no other reason.

TWELVE

Three seriously frozen men and three horses came into the barn. Snow blew in as if chasing after them before the doors could be closed. They began beating away their white encasements and gradually looked more human.

“Dang, but it’s hash out there,” Hoss said as he kept slapping at himself. “I thought we was goners for sure.”

“The next time you say you think you see something remind me not to doubt you.”

“I’ll just do that, little brother.”

The inside of the barn had snow in niches since the doors had been hanging open, but it was shelter nonetheless. Without a word Ben led Buck to one of the stalls and started unsaddling him. Joe and Hoss took Cochise and Chubb to their own respective stalls and did the same.

The animals were soon dried off and settled in for as long as it took this thing to blow itself out. Pieces of wood had been scrounged up and a nice little fire was going with Joe and Hoss huddled around it warming their hands. Ben, however, stood at the ladder that led to the loft looking up at one of the rungs. It had been broken and from the looks of the jagged ends it was fairly recent. He let his eyelids lower and in his imagination he could see his son falling. He hadn’t been with them but Mrs. Cadence had painted him a pretty detailed picture.

A gentle hand rested on his shoulder and a soft voice came at his back. “Pa, why don’t come on over an’ git yourself warmed up? I know you’re cold to the bone just like we are.”

Ben looked around into comforting blue eyes, and he fought for what little smile he could muster. “All right, son.”

Sitting in the floor was the best they could do under the circumstances, but anything was better than being caught in the white monster that lashed and snarled around outside. The old barn creaked and pitched as it was flailed and assaulted by harsh, unforgiving winds, but it stood against the force as if defiantly protecting those that had entered its sanctuary. The horses munched ages-old hay and showed only mild concern for what was going on about them.

Hoss’ robust laughter mingled with his brother’s sprightly giggle and added a cheerful ambiance to their otherwise glum surroundings. But Ben seemed lost to it all as he sat with his eyes fixed to the floor.

For the moment it went quiet as they watched their father lost in thought. They looked at each other then followed his line of sight and saw what his attention was so firmly fixed to. The wagon tracks weren’t as obvious as they had once been and were partially filled with snow.

The brothers looked at each other and knew where their father’s mind was and it wasn’t here. They continued their conversation so as not to jar him from his musings.

Ben wondered what his oldest son was doing at this very moment. Was he sitting before a welcoming fire or was he sick in bed? He could just see Hop Sing coddling and mothering and it made his mouth turn ever so mildly. Adam had never been much for that sort of thing, being the obdurate, independent type that he was, but Ben had also noticed a marked change in his boy since his return home. He no longer seemed to hold himself back from things as he once had. It was as if his very near brush with death had transformed him, not into a new man, but into the person he really was and had kept hidden all these years. And Ben wasn’t ashamed to admit that he liked this emergence.

A sudden gust rattled the big doors as if the storm was trying its best to get in at them, but the inner bar was in place and held. The boards that made up the structure groaned and complained but wouldn’t give in to the force exerted against them. “Much like Adam,” Ben thought.

Another piece of wood was put on the fire and it blazed up briefly throwing tiny orange sparks then settled back to its usual flickering. The day was moving steadily toward night and though they wished they could be home this Christmas Eve this was decidedly better than where they had been.

They didn’t expect the storm to tone down for awhile, but even if it did before nightfall they didn’t want to travel after dark. It would be easy enough to get twisted and turned and lost in broad daylight – what with everything swathed in snow – but without the sun the chances would be tripled threefold.

Ben took out his watch and looked at the time. It was quarter till five but outside it looked more like eight or nine. He hoped that with the coming of the next day things would lighten enough so that they could get underway again. Tomorrow was Christmas, and he wanted to spend it in the comfort of the big house with his sons around him and not in this rickety old barn, haven though it was.

*******

Adam sat on the settee wishing he could close out the sound of the wind. The clock struck seven and it only suited to remind him of how many hours there were until daybreak. He had a book of Shakespeare’s sonnets but for the life of him he just couldn’t concentrate. Finally, he simply placed it on the table and went to the window in the study and looked out into the maelstrom. Beyond the front porch he couldn’t see a thing, and it was as if the barn, the bunkhouse house and the corrals and all the trees had been taken away. It was like being cut away from the rest of the world by a swirling entity that had closed over the house.

“Supper leady,” Hop Sing said softly at his elbow.

“I’m not hungry,” Adam said but never looked around.

Hop Sing knew he should eat but he didn’t think this was the time to be insistent about it. Mista Adam had much on his mind. Those he held most dear were out in this he felt sure, and Hop Sing had learned a long time ago not to doubt such feelings, they had proved to be accurate way too many times. All four members of this tightly woven family had them and it was because of the bond that was so strong between them. Yet they sometimes let the mind and the eyes and even commonsense overrule what the heart knew and for that reason June had been so steeped in grief.

He gave his boy a heartening pat on the arm then started to walk away.

“Hop Sing.”

Hop Sing looked back around. “Yes, Mista Adam.”

“Thank you,” Adam said but never turned away from the window.

“You always welcome.” Then, with a ragged sigh, he went on the kitchen.

*******

Bed rolls had already been spread over the floor in readiness for bedtime, though they wondered if they would do very much sleeping. Hardtack and jerky that had been warmed over the fire and washed down with water was supper.

For the second time Hoss began sniffing the air like a dog on the scent. His nose wrinkled, and his eyes had a faraway longing to them.

“Don’t tell me what you smell,” Joe said crossly, “I don’t wantta know.”

“All right, I won’t,” Hoss said as he crunched into a piece of the thin bread.

Joe’s attention was more on his brother than he wanted it to be. Hoss had a way of not telling a person something that drove him right straight up a wall. He knew that Hoss wanted to tell but since he’d been asked not to he wouldn’t, but he made sure that party was aware that he wanted to say something.

“All right, Hoss, whadaya smell?” Joe burst out unable to stand it anymore. “Roast pork and sweet potatoes I suppose.”

“Nope. Ham an’…” his face pinched to one side, “apple stack cake.”

Joe’s head and arms dropped as he groaned. “You did have to tell me that didn’t you?”

“Well, now Joe you did ask.”

“So next time I ask don’t tell me.”

“I’ll try ‘n remember that,” and he crunched another bite.

Ben grinned as he watched his sons then turned his attention back to the big buckskin. Under usual circumstances he would have said something to them but now he simply needed the sound of their voices, even when they were rounding on each other. He stroked the horse’s neck and felt the coarse black mane under his hand. They had been together a long time and the creature was loyal and sturdy and dependable. Then he looked across to the other two stalls to the big Morgan and the wiry paint. Fine mounts every one of them and they had never let their riders down, and he knew they never would, not willingly. He gave Buck a healthy pat, and he smiled as he saw before him a sleek red chestnut coming down a Virginia City street sideways and tossing his head. Sport was more high-strung and difficult to handle that any of the family’s horses, but Adam never seemed to have a problem with him. They responded to one another and it was a thing to see. His eldest son in the saddle was like a centaur as man and animal became one. Ben took a deep breath and tried to fight off his longing for home.

The night moved on and they decided that it was time to turn in. It had been a long, grueling day and they needed the rest for tomorrow, which they new would prove to be another long one. Hoss doused the fire and made good and sure it was out, all they needed was for it to get out of control and burn the barn down around all of them. They nestled into their blankets – heavy coats and the fleece lining of their saddles providing added warmth – and got as comfortable as they could. The floor was cold and packed hard but it was so much better than the alternative.

Hoss and Joe were soon asleep but Ben lay perfectly still listening to the wind thrashing at the barn’s walls. His coffee brown eyes were focused on the ceiling, and his mind was a frenzy of thoughts, continually darting from one to the next. They were all about different times and things but there was one common thread that ran through them all: Adam. He and his oldest son had come so far and been through so much together and the thought of losing him – or any one of his sons, for that matter – was beyond abhorrent. For him to look down on the body of what he had believed to be his oldest child had been worse than any nightmare imaginable, a nightmare from which there had been no waking until Hoss burst into the bedroom that night. He wished he could put it all away from him but that was a feat outside possibility, and he would simply have to learn to live with it. He snorted to himself; if this was any indication of how he lived with it he was in trouble.

One of the horses gave a nervous nicker and was answered by his stablemates. In spite of what was going on around him Ben felt at peace, he had two of his sons with him, he was on his way home to the third and the storm raged and was unable to reach them. He snuggled down into the warm fleece of the saddle and felt the heat his body generated wrap around him. All of the sudden he was very sleepy and very happy. In the near total darkness he could hear the heavy, deep breathing next to him and it gave him comfort. “Good night, Joe. Good night, Hoss,” he whispered then he brought his eyes back to the ceiling. “Good night, Adam.”

*******

Adam stood before the hearth staring into the fire when an urge he couldn’t explain came over him. He went to the front door and opened it and looked out into the night. “Good night, Joe. Good night, Hoss,” he said softly and his fingers tightened on the knob. “Good night, Pa.”

THIRTEEN

Light was just beginning to fill the sky but the sun had yet to peep over the horizon. The storm had dissipated sometime through the night but not before divesting itself of an additional four feet of snow. A good deal of it, however, due to the harsh blowing of the wind, had wound up in drifts instead of spread over the ground. This would make the going easier if only marginally. The threat of more snowfall continued to hang over them, but it didn’t matter, it was time to go home.

Hoss stood in the doorway of the barn – the doors thrown wide – and looked out across the pristine countryside. This is was the old Lerner place and it had been abandoned for nearly seven years since the cholera epidemic of ’57 had nearly wiped out the family of six. Only Mart Lerner and his oldest son Jason were left and they had headed for California. The white enrobed tree still lay across what was left of the house where it had fallen in the big July downpour. Hoss grinned as he recalled the look on a soaked Adam’s face when he’d seen them coming along the road. Mrs. Cadence had been sitting next to him on the buckboard seat, wrapped in blankets and holding a lamp. He shook his head and laughed then – inhaling the crisp morning air – he turned and went to get his horse.

Pa and Joe were waiting and Chubb was already saddled. “All right,” Ben said, “we might as well get going. I don’t think we want to spend Christmas here.”

Joe and Hoss adamantly agreed and then they led their horses outside. There was a hollow in front of the doorway where the eaves had deflected the snow, which sloped up into a slight drift. Still leading their mounts, they climbed over it and came out near the front of the smashed house. They climbed into their saddles then, using the buildings as a reference point, they started off. As they knew it would be, the going was rough on the animals, but they took it easy lest legs be broken.

As they continued along where they guessed to road to be approximately they saw that the left side, where it had been sheltered by the trees, wasn’t so deep. They decided to follow this for as far as they could and it should shorten their travel time.

Continuing its climb through the sky the sun remained hidden among dense clouds that looked more like gray smoke. The wind, thankfully, was little more than a stiff breeze that riffled through the heavy trees and stirred up white puffs with the occasional gust. The sound of snapping and splintering branches being brought down by their frozen burden filled the crystal clear air. Breath turned to wispy vapor that rapidly faded as the men and their animals continued to trudge their way toward the safety of the home place.

They couldn’t be sure exactly how long they had been going when Ben called for a break. The horses had to get them back and killing them would only put them afoot and at the mercy of the elements.

“Well, Hoss,” Joe started and took a swig from his canteen, “about how far from the house do you think we are?”

“I’d say about an hour at the rate we’re goin’, ‘o course, things could thin down an’ let us go a might faster or…”

“You don’t have to say it; they could get worse and slow us even more.”

“At least we know where we are,” Ben said as his eyes scanned the area around them then rose. He still didn’t like the look of that sky – it portended more of what they had already been through. And he knew full good and well that if they got caught again that this time they might not be so lucky.

*******

As soon as it was light enough the hands that had remained on the Ponderosa for the winter were dispatched by Adam to go looking for his family. He had wanted to go with them but, as Hop Sing had reminded him, he didn’t need to be out in this. The men had been instructed to split off into three small groups. This meant a lot of territory couldn’t be covered but they knew the general direction Ben and his sons would be coming and they didn’t want to thin themselves out too much. And then Adam had said one of the hardest things he’d ever had to. “And if this starts up again you head on back. It won’t do anybody any good for you to get lost out there too.” Then they had left the house, mounted up and headed out. That had been over an hour ago and Adam was a nervous wreck.

It made Hop Sing uneasy just to watch him as he stalked back-and-forth like a caged animal. His legs carried him in their long stride, and his hands were clasped behind him. Today, since it had been necessary for him to meet with the men, he had put on his usual black clothing and it made him resemble a lithe panther. His boots clacked against the hardwood of the floor in a steady rhythm that rarely broke as he went from one end of the parlor to the other and back. The times when it went silent Hop Sing always found him looking out the front window. Once he had been standing in the open doorway which had called for some stern scolding and the garnering of a promise it wouldn’t happen again. He trusted Mista Adam, and he knew that when his word was given it might as well be cast in bronze.

The house was mainly quiet except for Adam’s pacing, Hop Sing’s mixing around in the kitchen, the crackling in the grate and the passage of the big grandfather clock. The little cook was proceeding with the preparation for Christmas supper as if everything were normal, Adam wanted it that way. He insisted that his family would be there and hungry as bears, and Hop Sing believed because his boy believed.

Adam wanted to believe that they would be found safe and all right and would be here with him for this special day. He knew his father and brothers well, and he knew that their survival skills – as were his own – were finely honed. If anybody could make it through what had passed the night and day before, they could.

He went back to the window behind his father’s substantial mahogany desk and looked out past the barn. How many times had he been here and done this since yesterday? He couldn’t be certain but he did know that he couldn’t count them on both hands; no one had that many fingers. A cup of hot tea magically appeared on the piece of furniture in front of him, its spicy scent wafting up in the steam that rose from its surface. He looked around into black Asian eyes.

“They be all light,” Hop Sing said smoothly.

Adam simply smiled and nodded then lifted the cup. “Thank you, Hop Sing…, for everything.”

Teeth shone as his lips parted. “You family my family and this my home.” His grin broadened, and his eyes twinkled then he turned and went back to the kitchen.

Adam took a sip and was glad for the return of his taste buds. The dark hazel eyes came around and focused back outside. This had turned into a Christmas he wouldn’t forget, and he hoped it didn’t turn into one he would regret.

*******

It was easy to lose track of the time but the ache in their muscles let them know that they had been going on for quite a bit. They had dismounted and were leading the horses so the animals could rest up some without stopping. They continued to stay to the edge of the road close to the trees where it wasn’t so deep. Conversation had suffered as well and came only when necessary since it took too much effort and energy.

“Pa, we’ve been going some time since our last stop and my legs are about to snap,” Joe said as his feet crunched through the snow. “I’m not complaining but I am beat, we all are.”

Ben didn’t want to stop he just wanted to get home, but he knew his son was right. It wouldn’t help anything if they dropped out of sheer exhaustion and froze to death. “All right, Joe, we’ll rest here, and I think it’s a good idea if we eat something.”

Rations were brought out and eating snow was handier than fooling with canteens and tasted better anyway. Joe picked up a handful and fed to Cochise and his father and brother did likewise with Buck and Chubb.

Joe looked around him as he started on a piece of hardtack. “I see why it’s so easy for a man to get lost out here, all this snow changes the way things look.”

“And if’n the sun comes out he can go snow blind.”

“I wonder what Adam’s doing,” Joe said as he scooped up another frosty handful.

“If’n I know our older brother he’s probably stalkin’ around like a penned in cougar. He knowed we wouldn’t stay away, not at Christmastime.”

“Well, it wasn’t one of the smartest things we’ve ever done.”

Ben’s coffee eyes flashed around and set on his youngest son. “You needn’t take credit for my mistake, Joseph. I wanted to get home so badly I put all our lives at risk, and it isn’t over yet.”

“Pa,” Hoss started as he rested a firm hand on his father’s shoulder, “we couldn’t no more let you come by yourself anymore ‘n you would ‘o let either one of us. We’re a family an’ families stick together no matter what.”

“Hoss is right, Pa. We’re in this thing together, and we’re gonna get out of it together.”

Ben smiled as he took in his sons and their talk lulled. But as they stood there a swishing, crunch made it to their ears and Hoss was the first to look around. Eyes were strained to see and chewing stopped as breaths were held. The sound grew louder and what they saw come around the bend in the road and into the clear sent hearts racing.

“Thank the Good Lord,” Ben said in an emotion tinged voice.

*******

Adam was even more agitated than ever. It had been over two hours since the men had ridden out, and no one had yet to return. It would be midday before long, and he still knew nothing of the fate of his family. He hadn’t been able to sit still and every time he tried he popped straight back to his feet. Right now he found little consolation in the warming fire he stood before knowing that his father and brothers were out in the biting cold.

As he stood with his back to the front door he became aware of activity outside. It took several seconds for it to register that he actually heard something, and he turned around. Hop Sing burst into the dining room, his hands wrung in his apron, and his round face aglow. “They here!”

Adam wanted to rush outside but he couldn’t. His feet had taken root in the floor, and he was unable to budge. As his gaze riveted to the front door it opened back and three red faced, bundled men stood before him. A warm smile formed on the mouth of the one in the middle and the light danced in his dark eyes. “Merry Christmas, son.”

*******

The delectable scent of roast goose permeated the house like fine perfume. Fresh baking biscuits, roasting sweet potatoes, sage and onion stuffing and cooked leather britches mingled in with it and starved a man.

Joe and Hoss had gone upstairs and Hop Sing was in the kitchen and father and oldest son were alone together. Ben sat contentedly in his big red chair staring into the hearth and fingering the bowl of the ancient pipe he’d had since he was first mate on ‘The Wanderer’. He rubbed his thumb over the hairline crack in its black stem from the time Joe had thrown it when he was a baby. He knew he should buy another but this one was an old friend and it held many pleasant memories.

“One of these days that’s gonna fall apart,” said the rich baritone in front of him.

“And when it does I’ll buy a new one,” Ben said as his eyes went to is son. “Right now, though, it works just fine.”

“Merry Christmas, Pa,” Adam said as he handed a rectangular mahogany chest to his father.

Ben took it and eyed his son warily as he put his old friend aside then – without words – he raised the lid. Inside, surrounded by dark blue velvet, was the most beautiful pipe he’d ever seen. The bowl was intricately carved ivory and the stem was teak. He ran his fingers lovingly over its polished surface, and he looked to the dark, handsome face. “Where did you get this?”

“New York. I’ve had it for almost a year, and I was beginning to wonder if I was going to get to give it to you.”

“Well, everything worked out and we’re all together. I have to admit, though, that what I did wasn’t very smart.”

“When it comes to family we don’t always act with a clear heard. If it hadn’t been for Hop Sing I would’ve gone right out after you and succeeded in making myself sicker. But he made me see that killing myself wasn’t in your best interest, or Joe’s or Hoss’ either, for that matter. Still, if I’d had to I would have.”

“Even knowing you would die?”

“Even knowing that.” The corners of his finely sculpted mouth – Elizabeth’s mouth – turned up, and he pushed his fingers back through his heavy black hair and looked to the top of the tree. “That angel looks prettier than she ever has.” Then he looked back to his father. “Now I think I’ll go up and see what those brothers of mine are up to. Probably no good, knowing those two.” With a wink he turned and went upstairs.

Ben watched him until he’d disappeared down the hall then he turned his attention back to his new pipe. His mind reeled back to the summer, and he thought of how close he’d come to not having Adam with him now. But that was in the past, and he wouldn’t let it taint the present. His coffee eyes raised to where his eldest had gone and he smiled as he leaned his head back. “Merry Christmas, son.”

THE END

Note: Leather britches are dried, unbroken green beans.

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