Come Spring
by
Janice Sagraves

ONE

Suzanne Madden looked around her as she stood transfixed. The grass that poked through the waning snow was just the color of spring peas. A stand of towering pines skirted one side of the brook that babbled its way over rocks as it meandered on to a destination unknown. The periwinkle sky seemed to kiss the ground at the horizon and played host to newly returned birds as they flitted about like will-o’-the-wisps after insects. It was gentle and rolling here and the symphony of nature was all about her as it carried on the sweet breeze. A small hand slipped into hers, and she looked down into the bright face of her youngest daughter. Gradually, the rest of her family came to stand with her. No one said a word, it was unnecessary. She looked around, and her gaze was caught by the dark hazel eyes of Adam Cartwright. His mouth turned up in a warm smile, and she met him with one of her own. This was it, the place where the house would be, nestled in the shade of the trees. This was home and no one had to say a thing.

*******
Though some of what appeared to be the last snow of winter remained on the ground the frame of the house had gone up quickly. As ranch work permitted, the Cartwrights worked on it as did the hands. The only constant was Adam, who was there everyday. With Suzanne’s input, he had designed a house to fit the needs of a young family.

“I still say three bedrooms weren’t necessary,” Suzanne said as she stood before the skeleton of what would become home. “We did just fine with one for the longest time.”

“That may be so,” Adam said as he stood next to her with his arms crossed over his chest, “but I don’t know of a boy yet who likes sleeping with his sisters if he can help it.”

“And how would you know? You don’t have any sisters.”

“No, but I’ve known those who have.” A toothy grin produced itself and sunlight glinted in his eyes.

“Mama, Mama, Mama, look what I found!” Libby Madden squealed gleefully as she ran up to her mother and held out a golden yellow flower.

“My how pretty,” Suzanne said as her soft aqua eyes roved over the child.

“I picked it for you,” Libby said as she reached it to her mother. “There’s a whole bunch more. You want one, Adam?”

He scooped the girl into his arms and looked into her angelic face. If asked, he would have said that this was what her mother looked like at that age, same bouncy red curls and deep aqua eyes. “Yes, I would. In fact, I’ll even go with you, but it’ll have to wait. Right now we need to get back to the house. Hop Sing probably has dinner ready, and if we aren’t there he’ll swat us all with a broom.”

The child’s eyes went wide. “Really?”

“Really.”

Libby looked at him long and hard then her forehead set into a fierce scowl. “Uh-uh, Hop Sing’s too nice. He gibbs me cookies and doughmuts.”

“All right, I am pulling your leg just a little bit,” Adam said as he tried hard not to laugh.

Libby looked at his hands then down at her legs. “You aren’t pulling my legs.”

“No, I guess I’m not,” he said as his eyes darted to the girl’s mother.

Suzanne pulled her heavy cloak close about her against the chilly bite of March as they started back to the buckboard.

“Adam.”

“Yes, sweetheart.”

“When’ll our house be done?”

“Oh, I figure before not too much longer.”

“But how long?”

“Yes, Adam, how long?” Suzanne asked with an inquisitive tilt to her head.

“Well, what with the cold and rain and melting snow, and of course the ranch work it’s not going as fast as we’d like.” He shrugged and ducked his dark head. “But we’ll guaranteed get it done in time for Christmas.”

“Christmas?” Libby said keenly. “That’s a whole… a whole…. Mama, how many monfs is that?”

“Nine, dear, but I don’t think Adam is serious.” One corner of her mouth pinched. “At least, I hope he’s not.”

He helped Suzanne onto the seat of the buckboard then deposited the child on her lap. “For my sake, I won’t be.” Taking up the reins he got in next to them. “I don’t wantta take on the whole Madden tribe.” A smile went to the girl and his hazel eyes went to her mother then he snapped the reins against the horses’ backs and they started along the road.

*******

Sarah Madden seemed to have little interest in her food. She was living in a dream: she was staying with Joe Cartwright in his own home. He was the most perfect, wonderful man she’d ever seen in her young life. Sure, Adam was smart and handsome in his own way and Hoss was a strong and at the same time gentle man but they were way too old. Joe, however, was everything that, up to that time, she thought she could want in a man. With a secret sigh her fingers squeezed the handle of her fork as she let herself sink into the euphoria of the moment. He was sitting directly across from her, and he was the focus of her rapt attention.

Joe could feel the girl’s eyes drilling little holes in him as he tried concentrating on his meal, but to say it was difficult would be a gross understatement. His food had no real taste and the motions of eating it were done by rote. What he had been doing to his oldest brother since the appearance of that black mustache was being turned on him as he found himself the object of the same kind of intense scrutiny. He swallowed hard, and he felt it set in his stomach like a rock.

“Sarah, dear, eat your dinner before it gets cold,” Suzanne urged softly. “Sarah.”

“Yes, Mother,” Sarah said at the light touch on her arm and turned some of her attention to her plate.

“Adam tells me that the house is coming right along,” Ben said as his fork shoveled into his fried potatoes. “I wish I could get out there more than I do. So are you happy with it so far.”

“Very happy,” Suzanne said as she got her youngest another piece of bacon. “But to let us stay here with you until it’s finished isn’t necessary. Our house is still perfectly livable.”

“We just thought that you’d like being closer so you can watch the progress,” Adam said and took a drink of his water. “It’s too far to go back and forth every day and somebody always rides out to make sure things are okay. And I think the young ones like it here.”

There was a chorus of agreement from the younger Maddens, with the exception of Libby, whose mouth was full of biscuit.

“An’ there’s probably gonna be a birthin’ out in the barn before too long,” Hoss said as his eyes flitted up. “I think Sugar’s gonna present us with a real nice colt most likely before the week’s out.”

This caught Libby’s attention and the meal lost out. “A baby?” she asked with round eyes.

“That’s right, Missy, a baby. I bet you ain’t never seen one come into the world before.”

The red curls bobbed as she shook her head.

“Well, if’n it’s all right with your ma you can sure see thisun.”

Suzanne found herself the center four direct gazes. One corner of her mouth turned up. “All right, as long as you don’t get under foot and you do whatever Mr. Cartwright tells you to.”

This met with a round of eager promises to do so.

“Now finish your dinner.”

Ben watched as the children attacked their food with renewed gusto, the idea of the adventure ahead spurring them on. It was good having young ones in the house again and the aura of a woman – especially one as fine Suzanne Madden – was always welcome. Jake was eating like he hadn’t for a month, and Joe squirmed under the constant attention he was getting from the oldest daughter and Ben sequestered a grin. Spring was definitely here even though the day when it would be official was just over two weeks off and snow still hugged the ground in places.

TWO

The wind was twisting in the trees, and it was pushing in on one o’clock when Adam and Jake – riding on a spry, long legged grullo – showed up at the breaking corral. It was time the boy started learning the ropes and about the operation of the ranch and this was as good a place to start as any.

It was still plenty muddy, making it too easy for a wildly bucking horse to slip and possibly injure itself and its rider so a whole lot wasn’t going on. Spring repair was under way to take care of any damage incurred through the long, harsh winter. Only a handful of men were on it and it wasn’t the most pleasant chore but it had to be done.

Sport and Jackrabbit – because of the aforementioned appendages and the way he could run – were reined in beneath one of several large oaks and tethered to a limb. “So, are you ready to start getting you hands dirty?” Adam asked as he came around behind his horse, dragging his hand along the animal’s rump.

“Any time, Mr. Cartwright,” Jake said as he patted his mount’s mousey gray neck.

“What happened to Adam?”

“Well, I figure that now since I’m gonna be workin’ for you…”

“Nothing’s changed,” Adam threw in. “We’re still friends, and I insist that my friends call me by my given name.” He put his arm around the boy’s shoulders as they walked toward the corral. “All right?”

“All right, Mr…. Adam.”

“That’s better,” Adam said with a grin and gave him a smack against the chest. “How’re things comin’, Hugh?”

“Not too bad, Boss.” Hugh Kelso sat astraddle a rough bench honing an axe on a whetstone, his grungy hat pushed back on his head and a loose blond curl hanging over his forehead. “Things ain’t turned out to be so bad as we thought they’d be after all that snow.”

“Good, glad to hear it. Hugh Kelso, I’d like for you to meet Jake Madden. Jake’s staying at the house with his family until we get his house finished.”

The saddle tan eyes came up and warily gave the boy the once-over. “You don’t look much old enough to have a wife, let alone younguns,” he said teasingly.

“It’s my mother and younger brothers and sisters. My father was killed in a mine cave in almost four years ago and I’ve been taking care of ‘em ever since.”

“Good man,” he said as his right hand came out.

Jake took it and pumped it as a man would and found it firm and strong and work callused. He sensed something in Hugh Kelso even after knowing him for only a few minutes, something he liked. And he knew that if the Cartwright’s trusted him, he could too. “Thanks.”

“Jake,” Adam started, “why don’t you go ahead and kinda look around while I talk with Hugh here then we’ll get to work, how’s that sound.”

“Just fine,” Jake said then left them.

He wandered around the corral exchanging a ‘Hi’ or ‘Howdy’ here and there and just taking in his surroundings and the day. He was sixteen now and not a boy anymore, and he had to fight to contain the excitement that gurgled inside him. This job meant that he had finally come into his own as the man of the family. Since his father’s death when he was but twelve he’d strived to be the breadwinner as Dad had been, and it hadn’t been easy. Times were hard and what little bit of money he did manage to bring in never seemed to be enough. Now, however, that was all about to change for the better. He knew that he wouldn’t be making much at first, but as his skills grew so would his pay. His pace slowed as he started back to Adam so he wouldn’t look too eager.

As he talked with Hugh, Adam became aware of an infinitesimal cracking sound that slowly and steadily grew. He held up his hand, and Hugh hushed on a dime. “Do you hear that?”

Hugh cocked his head to one side and listened. “Yeah, it sounds like…”

“It sure does.” The dark hazel eyes went up, and he saw instantly that a large limb was trembling and gradually pulling away from the trunk. He knew that it could let loose at any time and when it came down anything under it could be crushed. As his gaze lowered his blood went to ice. Suddenly, the air was rent with a deafening crack and wood splinters showered the ground. “Jake!”

Jake looked around and Adam made a mad dash forward. Hugh began shouting for the men to take cover. As the boy looked up at the approaching danger he didn’t have time to be frightened as he found himself brusquely shoved out of the way. Everything blurred before him as he fell and landed hard with a grunt. For several seconds his wits were scrambled but slowly bit by bit they began to right themselves. As they did he became aware of frantic voices around him. “Are you all right, boy?” a strange one asked, and he nodded feebly, though he wasn’t completely sure. Then the spark of a notion sprung to life in his befuddled brain, and his heart took off anew as one word entered his skull, ‘Adam’. His head jerked around and for a second his vision fuzzed then cleared. He thought he was going to choke as a hard knot came up into his throat.

“Adam!” he nearly screeched and began crawling over the dank, muddy ground.

Adam was lying face down beneath the spidery appendages that extended out from the branches attached to the huge limb and held him in their grasp. He was motionless, and his eyes were closed. Jake couldn’t tell if he was still alive and rising panic seized him like a giant’s hand that thought to squeeze him to death. Then he saw the blood on his friend’s face, and he began clawing wildly at the branches that held him down. “Adam!”

“Axes!” Hugh shouted. “Bring ‘em all!”

Jake was aware of little beyond his friend and his urgent need to free him and assure himself that life still dwelled there. “You can’t be dead! You can’t be dead! Not you too!” ran through his mind at a fevered pace.

As he grabbed at the wooden tangle he paid no attention to the sharp points that tore at his fingers and hands. The sole purpose that drove him on was freeing Adam and finding out if he still lived.

Hugh Kelso appeared next to him. “Get back, son!” he barked.

“I havta get ‘im out!”

“We’ll get ‘im out,” Hugh said as he grasped the boy’s arm and began pulling him back. “But we can’t with you in the way, now get back.”

Jake looked around at him, fire and determination lighting his aqua eyes. “Gimme an axe,” he demanded as he held out his hand.

“Here, kid!” one of the men shouted.

Jake stood and looked around as one of the implements was tossed to him. “Just tell me where to start,” he said with resolve as his eyes bore into Hugh Kelso.

“All right,” Hugh said and gave him a slap on the back. “You start in here with me, and watch that you don’t get too close to ‘im.”

Hugh began first and the others joined right in. The sound of frenzied chopping ran through the clear air as axe heads bit into wood, and still Adam didn’t move. It wouldn’t have been such slow going if they had been able to work with reckless abandon, but great care was being taken not to hurt him anymore than he already was.

Time drug by like an aged tortoise, and Jake felt as if they were moving slower and slower and making little headway. He wanted to just lift everything up and pull Adam to safety, but they feared that doing so without cutting some away could do more harm than good. His arms had stiffened and begun to ache from the frenetic pace he held himself to but he paid little heed. Then a hand took hold of his arm and stopped him.

“Let’s see if that’s good enough,” Hugh said as he dropped his axe and began pulling the broken pieces of wood away. “Gimme a hand here!”

The men quickly attacked it as if their own lives were dependant upon it and before much longer had enough cleared away. It was then that they discovered that his left foot was pinned. Gingerly, the men raised the heavy limb, and Adam was dragged free.

Something cool and wet washed over his face and ran into the corners of his mouth as Adam’s senses returned by littles. His head pounded, and his eyeballs threatened to explode from their sockets. A deep, ragged breath expanded his lungs and reminded him that he was still alive as pain ran the length of his body. One of his hands – he couldn’t be sure which – raised to his head as if pulling against a restraint.

Then a soft quavering voice came through the darkness. “You all right?”

With much concentrated effort the heavy lids raised, and he found himself looking through thick gauze into what appeared to be a face. It seemed to have red hair and bluish-green eyes that were looking down at him. He blinked and even that hurt and made him wince, but he did it again. “Jake?” he said hoarsely.

As more cogent thought moved in he realized that he was in the boy’s arms and they were both on the cold, wet ground. He brought his hand down and reached out and felt it gripped firmly.

“You’ll be all right now,” Jake said with a tiny break in his voice. “I’ve got you.”

Adam managed a weak smile as his eyes closed, and his head rested against the boy’s rapidly heaving chest. He would rest a little bit before he tried anything drastic like sitting up.

THREE

Suzanne was on her way upstairs with a load of neatly folded, freshly washed laundry when the front door opened. As she turned to see who it was she gasped and everything went into the floor.

“Mr. Cartwright!” she shouted as she rushed forward. “Mr. Cartwright, come quick!”

Ben bolted from the kitchen still holding the cup of coffee he’d gone after with Hop Sing right behind him. “Suzanne, what’s…?” But the words died out, and he went chalk white at the sight that greeted him.

His oldest son stood just inside the entryway with Jake Madden and Hugh Kelso on either side of him – his arms over their shoulders – and they were wet and muddy. Blood was smeared on the side of Adam’s face and a loose bandana was swathed around his head, its dark color hiding the red that had seeped through. They were a disreputable looking trio to say the least.

The cup and saucer were put on the table with a rough clatter, and Ben practically leapt to his son. The old panic and fear that he’d been trying so hard to put behind him were renewed afresh, and it made his heart beat madly and his palms sweat.

“Adam, what on Earth happened?”

“I’m all right, Pa.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” he said as he peeked beneath the makeshift bandage. “Now would somebody please tell me what happened?”

“It was because of me,” Jake said timidly.

“But it wasn’t your fault so don’t try taking the blame for it,” Adam said commandingly. “It was an accident pure and simple.”

“Now that we’ve established that fact,” Ben started sternly, “would somebody pleeease tell me what happened.”

“A tree limb fell on ‘im,” Hugh said calmly.

“A tree limb fell…”

“Look, Pa, we’ll tell you all about it but right now I’d just like to sit down,” Adam said with a grimace.

“Of course, son, of course.” Ben stepped back and watched as they helped Adam along, and he couldn’t miss that his son kept his weight off his left foot. “What happened to your foot?”

“Same limb landed on it,” Adam said as he was helped down onto the settee.

Hop Sing placed the pillow he had retrieved from the bureau on the low table in front of the fireplace. With a grunt Adam raised his leg and rested his foot on it and let it sink into its softness. “Thank you, Hop Sing.”

“It no ploblem for Number One son.”

“I hope you don’t mind, Pa,” Adam said as his eyes darted rakishly to his father.

Ben couldn’t miss the mischievous smirk on the face of his eldest. He knew Adam was alluding to his always jumping his youngest son for putting his feet on the furniture. With purpose, Ben went to the big red leather chair and sat down, and his coffee eyes glued themselves to Adam. “Now I want that explanation you promised me.”

“All right,” Adam said as he began massaging his leg. The pain and throbbing in his foot had begun to travel up, and that helped, if only marginally. “It’s like Hugh said, a limb did fall on me, and I was pinned pretty good or bad, however you wantta look at it.”

“The weight from all that snow musta split it and today’s wind just finished the job,” Hugh said.

“I was standing right under it,” Jake said as his mother came to him and took his arm warmly, “but Adam pushed me outta the way. If it hadn’t been for him I coulda been hurt real bad or even killed.”

Suzanne squeezed her son’s arm. That was the second time Adam Cartwright had saved the life of one of her children. She felt the need to touch him and simply feel him beneath her fingertips, but she held back. Leaning her head against Jake’s shoulder she gave silent thanks that both he and his protector were safe.

“Hugh, I want you to ride into town and get the doctor.”

“Yes, sir, Mr. Cartwright, I’m on my way.” Then without so much as a fare-thee-well, Hugh turned and was gone.

“Now let’s see if we can get that boot off and take care of that hard head,” Ben said with a wicked glance at his son as he moved to the table.

“I get pan of water and towels,” Hop Sing said, and he hurried for the kitchen.

Adam leaned back, and his fingers dug into the soft upholstery as his father began tugging gently on the boot. He felt Jake’s reassuring hand on his shoulder and it helped. His foot was going to puff up like a dead steer as soon as it was released from its confinement, and he knew it, but it couldn’t be helped.

Ben glanced up at his son and could see the obvious pain he was in. He was as careful as he could be, but there was no real easy way of doing it. With a final jerk the boot came off, and he looked up as Adam sucked in air and his face twisted.

“I’m sorry, son.”

“That was the only way, don’t worry about it.”

Hop Sing returned with what he’d gone for just as Ben peeled off the sock. It made Suzanne about half sick and it showed. The foot had already begun turning purple and deep red and started to swell. The little cook handed Ben the pan as Suzanne came around and sat down next to Adam and removed the ersatz bandage. Wetting one of the towels she tenderly swabbed at the dried blood. “That doesn’t look so bad,” she said with a warming smile.

Adam looked around into those intense eyes and they quickly dropped. After one unguarded moment last month he had been watchful where she was concerned, especially after she moved into their home. The look he’d just caught from her only unsettled him, and he hoped that she wouldn’t get hurt.

*******

Joe and Hoss had been on their way out to the East range to check fence when they had run into one of the men that had been at the breaking corral earlier. He’d been looking for them to tell them what had happened. When they heard about their brother’s injuries they headed straight home.

Their faces dropped the second they rode into the yard and saw the doctor’s buggy. Their father wouldn’t send for him unless it was urgent, but then these days a stubbed toe was grounds, as far as Pa was concerned.

They reined up in front of the house then dismounted and hastily dropped their reins and raced inside then rushed over to their family. Their brother’s foot had been bound with only the toes sticking out, but they couldn’t miss how dark and round the digits had become.

“Durn, Adam, what’d you go an’ git yourself into this time?”

“How is he, Pa?” Joe asked and his emerald gaze stayed right on the wrapped appendage.

“You could ask me,” Adam said with a hint of disgruntlement. “I am sitting right here.”

“I was just about to ask that same thing,” Ben said as his eyes went questioningly to the doctor.

“It’s not broken, as far as I can tell, but all this swelling may have hidden any fine fractures. The boot protected it to some small measure or it could’ve been a lot worse,” Paul said as he lightly placed his hand against it. “It’s feverish, but then that’s to be expected. Does it hurt much?”

“I can still feel my heart beating in it and now and then a sharp pain runs through it and takes my breath away.”

“Well, that’s to be expected too, you did have about an eighth of a large tree fall on it. Now I want you to stay off of it. Do you have any crutches?”

“There’s a pair in the store room from when Hoss broke his leg two years ago,” Ben said.

“Good,” Paul said. “And it would probably be a good idea for you to sleep down here. I don’t think you should try navigating those stairs with them. I’d hate to be called out here again because you’d broken something from falling while going up or down.”

“I wouldn’t exactly be overjoyed myself,” Adam said as he turned a glower on his foot. “But I’m afraid that room is being used by Mrs. Madden.”

“Well, Mrs. Madden can just move upstairs with her children,” Suzanne said with forceful confidence. Adam opened his mouth but she cut him off before he could utter a sound. “And I’ll have no argument about it. You could kill yourself on those stairs, and then where would your father be?”

The reference to Ben deflated Adam before he even got started.

“Good for you, Madam,” Paul said with a victorious smirk and triumphant gleam to his blue-gray eyes. “He’s usually so busy thinking of others that he forgets that what happens to him affects them too.”

“What about his head, Doc?” Hoss asked.

Paul leaned forward and adjusted the fresh white bandage. “Well, he didn’t have any dizziness or doubled vision or nausea, at least, none he told me about.” He eyed his patient skeptically. “But that doesn’t mean any of them couldn’t develop, and don’t you try to hide them from anyone if they should,” Paul said and shook an admonishing finger at him.

“You know me, Paul,” Adam said as that lone eyebrow rose.

“Yes, I do, and that’s why I’m giving you this warning. A head injury is nothing to play around with. At the first sign of any problems you send someone for me, day or night. Is that clear?”

“Perfectly,” Ben said strongly with a tone that left no margin for doubt. “We’ll keep a close watch on him.”

“All right, I think I can go now. I know I’m leaving you in good hands,” Paul said as he closed his bedraggled medical bag and stood. “And you remember what I said about trying to climb those stairs and hiding things.”

“I’m not likely to forget,” Adam said as his eyes went from one family member to another then to Hop Sing and Suzanne.

“Glad to hear it,” Paul said then started for the door. “Now I need to get back to town in case someone is really hurt. I’ll be back out tomorrow just to make sure.”

“I’ll see you out, Paul,” Ben said as he came out of the chair.”

“Thank you, Ben.”

Ben joined his friend and they went out together. The door was closed securely behind them and they went across the porch toward the waiting buggy.

“Paul, how is he really? It’s easy to see how much pain he’s in, and I kept watching his eyes for any sign that something could be wrong.”

“Did you see anything?”

“Just the same Adam we’ve been living with for nearly eight months.”

“Ben, I told you about that,” Paul said as he took his arm reassuringly. “There’s nothing wrong with your son. We had a long talk about it last fall, and he set me straight about a few things, and I returned the favor. This is the same boy that was born to you almost thirty-five years ago.”

“But in some ways he’s so different.” Ben glanced back toward the door. “Sometimes I still feel like a stranger came home to me. And now this could…”

“Ben,” and Paul’s grip tightened, “he banged his head a little, nothing more, but we’ll keep a watch on him just in case. As to that other thing, he told me that he was no longer afraid to let people see the real Adam Cartwright. Ben, that’s who you’ve been living with since he got home last year. He realized holding back who he really is didn’t help or change anything, and life’s too short not to live it to its fullest to keep from maybe getting hurt. Now you go back in to your son.” He gave him a friendly pat. “He’ll be all right.” With a cheery grin, Paul climbed into the buggy and started out of the yard.

Watching him go, Ben couldn’t help the anxious fluttering in his chest. Was that really all there was to it? Was this the real Adam Cartwright, as Paul had said? Or had the experience of coming so close to death and losing his memories for a time changed his son into someone he didn’t know? He’d tried putting those dreads and fears behind him, and he thought he’d succeeded, but now he wasn’t so sure. And now there was this new threat, and he wished he could see beyond tomorrow so he could know what to expect and what to do if the worst came. As Paul disappeared beyond the barn, Ben took a deep breath then turned back to the house. He ran his fingers through his silver hair and just stared at the heavy oak door. It wasn’t that he was afraid to go back inside – he just feared what he might see when he did. Then, bucking himself up and stiffening his spine, he went in to his sons.

FOUR

The rest of the day went relatively smoothly, and Adam’s transition from his own room to the one downstairs went without a hitch. The children were delighted to have their mother up there with them, and the girls insisted she move in with them. It had been nice having her own room for a time, but sharing a bed with her daughters was a natural thing, and she actually looked forward to it.

It was getting late and everyone was making ready to turn in as Adam sat in the big red leather chair watching the flames flit about in the hearth like fiery nymphs. The crutches that had been brought in for his use were leaned against the chair’s arm and a slipper was on his right foot since the other wouldn’t accommodate one. His hands were tented in front of him, and light glittered in his dark eyes like diamonds catching the sun.

As Ben stole quietly down the stairs in his wine-colored robe, he could see that his son’s mind was miles away. He’d been quiet all through supper and seemed to pay little attention to his food or those around him. Ben could only guess at what was on his mind, and he wondered if Adam would talk about it, but he felt he should try anyway.

“Shouldn’t you be getting ready for bed?” Ben said as he left the last step. “You aren’t even in your night clothes yet and it is getting late.”

“I will,” Adam said without looking from the blaze. “I guess I just needed some time to think before I did.”

Ben sat on the end of the settee closest to the chair. Adam acted like he wasn’t even there as the fire remained the focal point of his attention. The same old trepidation came back as Ben watched him. He’d tried pushing away the thought that his oldest son had become someone he didn’t know. Yes, there were still elements of the person he’d always known, but now there were parts that were new. He tried seeing if any bit of Elizabeth remained, and she wasn’t difficult to see. There was the tilt of her head and that fine obstinate mouth of hers pulled into a pucker of intense concentration. And the stubbornness remained as well, of that there was no denying. Ben smiled and leaned back and just let his first born son fill his senses. There would be plenty of time for talk when Adam got ready.

“I picked a heck of a time to get laid up, didn’t I?” Adam said after about five minutes and finally looked around. “What with spring round up coming before long and the house to be finished and so many other things that need to be done.” He shook his head and an ironic grin spread over his face. “I would pick now to almost kill myself.”

“It couldn’t be helped. You couldn’t very well have just stood there today and done nothing.”

“That’s true. I wouldn’t’ve been able to live with myself if he’d been hurt or killed because I hadn’t.”

“Well, if I know my oldest son,” Ben swallowed hard and fought back the doubt, “you would’ve found reason to blame yourself if he had even with all you could’ve done.”

“Probably.” Adam heaved a sigh and settled back in the chair. “I guess I imagined in those brief seconds what it had been like for you when you thought I was dead, and I just couldn’t let that happen to Suzanne. And, anyway, I guess I kinda like the boy too. I think he’s gonna make a good addition to the ranch.”

“I agree. I’ve been watching him since they got here and talking to his mother, and I like what I see and hear. In fact, they’re a fine family, and I’m looking forward to having them as close neighbors. And I’m also looking forward to trying some of her cooking if it’s as good as you and Joe say it is.”

“Take my word for it, Pa, it is. You haven’t eaten Johnnycake until you’ve had hers, and Sarah is going to be just like her. She baked that molasses cake we brought back with us.”

“With Joe’s sweet tooth, I’m surprised any of it made to the house.”

“It wasn’t easy,” Adam said with a snicker. “It was like fighting a starved fox out of the chicken house, but I wanted you and Hoss to have some of it.” He returned his attention back to the hearth and went silent again.

Ben could see the cogs turning behind the dark, thoughtful eyes. There was more to this contemplative mood than what had occurred that afternoon, but he didn’t want to pry. He figured Adam would talk when and if he got ready to. And if there was one thing that hadn’t changed about his oldest son, it was that you didn’t push him into anything, it simply didn’t work.

After about a couple minutes more Adam looked once again at his father. “I suppose you’re right about it being time to turn in.” Adam gingerly pushed himself up from the chair. “I am kinda dragged out,” he said as he rubbed at his back.

Ben was instantly on his feet and retrieved the crutches and held them out to him. What would have been usual would be for Adam to chastise and say that he needed no help, instead however, Ben got a mild ‘thank you’ and those tired hazel eyes.

He watched as his son hobbled to his room, went inside and softly pushed the door together behind him. Now it was Ben who sank into the big leather chair and fell into an introspective state. Adam had always been a deep thinker who – unlike his brothers – was difficult to read. After years of watching him and learning his many moods Ben could usually tell when something was bothering him, but getting at it was a whole other matter. Ben was being forced to face the fact that not so much was different about his son after all. He took a deep ragged breath and let himself settle into the overstuffing and found he was glad for it.

*******

It was still early and about an hour before time for the rest of the family to get up when a fully dressed Hoss came out into the darkened hall with a lamp. As Sugar’s time drew closer Hoss’ concern for the mare became more solid, and his sleep had suffered for it. She’d already given birth to two stillborn foals and this would be the sixth straight morning he’d gone out to check on her before it was even light.

As he got closer to the top stair landing he noticed a small form on the floor outside the door of the room where Suzanne and her daughters slept. Caught in the lamp’s golden light it didn’t take long to see that it was Libby humped up against the wall, her arms and legs pulled in close.

“Libby, honey,” he said softly as he stooped in front of the apparently sleeping child and jostled her gently.

Her eyes opened and went right to his face. “I’m not asleep,” she said in a little voice and sat up.

“What’re you doin’ out here, sweetheart?”

“I was gettin’ mashed ‘tween Mama and Irene.” She rubbed petite fists in her eyes and yawned. “This bed isn’t as bid as the one we have and the chair was too crampy.”

“Well, now we’ll just havta do somethin’ about that, won’t we?”

She nodded and yawned again.

He gathered the little girl up with one arm and started back to his room with her, the lamp’s light leading the way. He sat it on the table by the door then went in with her. Jerking back the covers he put her in his bed and it was still warm. As she nestled down he tucked her in and brushed her hair back with loving fingers.

“There, now ain’t that better?” he said as he bent over her.

Again she nodded, her head resting lightly on the big feather pillow.

“All right, you go on back to sleep, an’ after while you can have a big breakfast with all the honey an’ biscuits you can hold.”

“I like gravy too.”

“So do I,” he said then kissed her on the forehead. “Now you close your eyes real good and go to sleep.”

Her eyes clamped shut, and her thick lashes bunched over pink cheeks.

“Atta, girl,” he said and gave her another kiss.

“Hoss,” she said as one eye opened. “When’s Sugar gonna have her baby?”

“Any day, an’ you’ll be there just like I promised. Now you close that eye and go to sleep.”

It squinched together then he started out. As he got to the doorway he looked back at her safe and contented then went out and closed the door.

Retrieving the lamp he resumed his journey downstairs. As he got almost half way he saw that he and Libby weren’t the only ones having problems sleeping. Adam was sitting on the hearth stone – his left leg straight out in front of him – poking up the fire that had been banked for the night. Its warm radiance spread and draped itself over his brooding features.

“Couldn’t sleep either?” Hoss asked as he came down.

The dark eyes rose briefly and Hoss could instantly see that something was definitely troubling his brother.

“You all right? Your foot botherin’ ya?”

“Not too bad, but enough to keep me from sleeping much,” Adam said as he continued his diligent poking. “I thought I’d just go ahead and get up and get the fire going.”

“How long you been out here?” Hoss asked as he sat in the blue chair.

“Oh, I don’t know, two or three hours maybe.”

“Well, if’n it hurts that bad why don’t you just take some o’ that pain medicine Doc Martin left.”

Again the dark eyes shot up fleetingly, and this time they conveyed displeasure.

“Oh, that’s right, it gives you them gosh awful nightmares. What’s the sense o’ takin’ it if’n it’s gonna keep you up all night?”

“Exactly,” came tersely as the jabbing intensified.

Then one minute turned into two which wound up becoming three and nothing was said.

“Do you realize that since I’ve been home that I’ve had a run of bad luck that could give a superstitious man the notion that I’m jinxed,” Adam finally said as he went perfectly still and just stared into the grate.

“Ah, come on, Adam, it ain’t been that bad.”

“I’ve been flattened by both my brothers, fell with my shotgun while hunting, was thrown by my horse and landed on a rock, fell into a cave, had a dead wolf on top of me, and now this.” His long, tapered fingers tightened on the poker handle but still he didn’t look around. “And this time I’ve left my family in the lurch with so much that has to be done.”

“That’s just the sorta things that happen out here, so’s I ain’t gonna listen to that kinda talk, especially from you. I always thought you had better sense ‘n that.”

The ticking of the big clock by the door dominated the room while the fire threw living shadows about the brothers.

“You’re just tuckered out from not sleepin’ is all.” Then a light went on in Hoss’ clear blue eyes. “I tell ya what, why don’t you throw on some clothes an’ come out to the barn with me?”

He watched Adam continue to sit perfectly still as if nothing had been said. Finally, those haunting eyes came back around and Hoss couldn’t miss the disquiet dwelling in their depths.

“You going out to check on Sugar?”

“Yeah, her time’s nigh on top of us an’ after all the trouble she had with the last two, I’d like to see that this little feller hangs around if’n I can.”

Some of the unease was pushed aside as a warm smile turned the sides of Adam’s mouth and only just barely reached his eyes. “Just give me a few minutes.” Then he took the crutches from where they rested and carefully got up.

“You need some help?”

“I have been dressing myself long enough ‘til I think I know how it’s done,” Adam said a little sharply. “I can manage.”

Hoss let it go and leaned back in the chair, but his gaze never strayed from his brother as he propelled himself around the furniture and to his room. As the door closed, Hoss got up and went to stand at the end of the bureau where he could hear better and be close by if anything should happen. He didn’t really expect it to, but as Pa had always taught, it was better to be ready than caught off guard.

FIVE

“Hoo wee!” Mort Styles, the Cartwright’s foreman for the past ten years, said as his long, thin nose wrinkled when he reentered the bunkhouse. “What is that I smell? It’s like standin’ in a whole field full o’ wild flowers.”

“It’s Hugh,” Lou Radburn said with a wink at the rest of the men gathered around.

“Hugh?” Mort said and stepped closer to him and sniffed. “By durn, it sure is, but it ain’t Saturday so I know we ain’t goin’ into town.”

“It’s that good lookin’ widow woman up to the big house,” Elroy Gillis said as he gave Hugh a jab in the ribs with a sharp elbow. “Ain’t that right, Hugh?”

Jake’s head shot up from where he sat on his bunk buttoning his shirt.

“Well, I just thought, what with a lady around, that some of us should take a little pride in the way they look,” Hugh tugged at the lapels of his vest, “and not go around smellin’ like a bunch o’ cows.”

“And he’s got his hair parted in the middle and slicked down real nice too,” Vin Walsh said as a mischievous gleam danced through his reddish-brown eyes.

Mort raised the brim of Hugh’s hat and peaked beneath its sweat-stained brim. “Yep, sure does, and I’m sure the cows out in Strawberry Meadow are gonna appreciate you gettin’ all freshened up for ‘em.”

Hugh’s face scrunched with distaste.

“You and Vin and Elroy are doin’ tally,” Mort went on. The rest of the men, with the exception of Jake, sniggered, and his eyes went straight to them. “That don’t leave the rest of you out. There’s spring mendin’ still to be done and a few other things I can think of, so you’ll have plenty to keep you busy.”

The collective groan was more visual than heard as the men went back about getting ready for their day’s work.

“Now as soon as breakfast’s over I want you three to ride out there.”

“Right, Mort,” came from them almost in unison.

Satisfied with their response the foreman melded in with the other men. Hugh broke lose from his companions and stepped outside into the bracing morning onto the raised porch. His line of sight was directly focused on the big rough-hewn log house. Dawn had already broken, but the soft aura of lamp light yet seeped out through the covered windows.

When Mrs. Madden had been here at Thanksgiving, Hugh and some of the other men who had remained had been in town frittering off his holiday pay so he had missed her. But this time she had caught him right beneath the forelock when she’d arrived with her children a week ago. A finer figure of a woman he didn’t think he had ever seen in all his thirty-four years, and what those robin’s egg eyes and soft red hair did to a man was downright unnerving. Not to mention the way she filled out her clothes and floated around the property. She made the palms of his hands sweat and itch and his breathing catch in his chest, and then yesterday he found himself not only under the same roof with her, but in the same room, no less.

“Since she got here you been comin’ out here in the mornin’ and evenin’ just hopin’ she’ll come into eyeshot,” Vin said as he came to stand next to him. “Now what makes you think a woman like that is gonna be interested in the likes of a sorry cowhand?”

“Maybe she wouldn’t,” Hugh started, his eyes never wavering from the lit study window, “but she’s still mighty nice to look on.”

“She sure is that, but I’m afraid the best you can ever hope for is one o’ the soiled doves in town.” Vin went to the edge of the porch and followed his friend’s gaze. “You tryin’ to imagine what she’s doin’ right now?”

“I dunno. I guess I’m just wishin’.”

“Well, wish in one hand and spit in the other and see which fills up first. Now you best come on in,” Vin said as he gave him a slap on the back. “Chow’s ready, and you know how Cookie gets when we ain’t there on time.”

“All right,” Hugh said absentmindedly, never looking from the window.

Vin shook his head and riffled his fingers in his thinning chocolate hair then took himself back inside. Hugh moved closer to the porch post and leaned his shoulder against it. He was so consumed with what could be going on inside the big house he didn’t notice that someone else had come out.

“My mam doesn’t like the sweet smell so much.”

Hugh’s head snapped around, and he found himself face-to-face with Jake Madden.

“Why’re you tellin’ me this? I woulda thought you’d o’ tried gettin’ between us.”

“When I was a kid, maybe I would’ve, but a friend helped me to see that my mam gets lonely just like anybody else. And the most important thing to me is to know she’s happy and safe and taken care of.”

“Kid, don’t ever let anybody tell you you ain’t a man.”

“I won’t,” Jake said as one corner of his mouth crooked.

“Thanks,” Hugh said and put an arm around the boy’s shoulders. “Now let’s go on in to chow. All we need is for Cookie to come gunning for us.”

Hugh gave a backward glance to the big house then steered the boy around, and they started inside. He sure would like to know what was going on behind those windows.

*******

Adam’s day had started out bumpy but had smoothed out after he’d gone to the barn with Hoss to check on the mare. At breakfast he found that his appetite had come back in the cold air and the depression he’d felt the previous day and earlier that morning was gone. Hoss’ enthusiasm and the way he could find wonder in such simple things could be contagious, and right now that was what Adam needed.

He was sitting at the sturdy mahogany desk in the study composing a letter to business associates in San Francisco when a cup of tea and plate of shortbread cookies were placed on the blotter in front of him. His gaze rose, and he found himself looking into the enchanting face of Suzanne Madden.

“You’ve been busy all morning, and I thought you needed a break,” she said cheerily.

“We just had breakfast,” he said as he scrutinized the small plate of golden pale-colored morsels.

“That was three and a half hours ago, and you missed your midmorning meal.”

For the first time he realized that he was a might on the hungry side. He held the cup close and inhaled deeply of the cinnamon-scented steam. Picking up one of the cookies, he looked at it then his eyes rose to her. “Did you bake these?”

“In Hop Sing’s kitchen? Don’t be ridiculous. Even if he would allow it, I would never presume so much. I believe that a cook’s kitchen is their domain and they should have the last say about what goes on in it.”

“Hop Sing’s sentiments exactly. You two should get on very well,” he said with a slight grin then took a bite and washed it down with the hot, spicy tea. As he chewed he caught her eyes focused on him and couldn’t miss the melancholy light in them. “Is something wrong?”

“Oh, nothing’s really wrong,” she said and sat in the low-backed wooden chair nestled between the tall bookcase and wood burning stove in the end of the study. “It’s just something I’ve had to build up my courage to talk to you about.”

“Well, then why don’t we just talk about it whatever it is?” He grinned broadly and held the dish out to her. “Shortbread?”

She shook her head and kept her gaze lowered and on her hands as she tugged at the lace edging of the linen handkerchief she had pulled from her sleeve cuff. “Jake told me about your intention to leave,” she finally said.

He watched her as he continued to munch and sip and couldn’t help noticing the defeated droop to her back. This was the first he had known that she knew of his intentions. Jake was supposed to tell her but he hadn’t known that it had been done. “At the end of the summer, though I haven’t decided exactly when.” He finished another cookie. “My brothers are bound and determined that I’m not, and they’re trying to be subtle about it, but they’re anything but. They back me in my decision and gave me a beautiful trunk, but it’s not like them to give in.”

“And your father?”

“Pa hasn’t said much.” He snickered. “I think he’s leaving the persuading up to them. I know he doesn’t want me to go any more than they do, but he promised me his support, and I won’t get anything less.”

“Do you mind if I ask why you’re going?”

“I guess it’s just time. I’ve thought about it on and off since I returned from college, but after what happened last year…” he froze and a distant look crept into his eyes, “I saw that time waits for no man. And when you see yours almost run out you realize it’s time to stop wasting it. To paraphrase the saying, ‘Stop putting off ‘til tomorrow what you should do today.’ because one of these days you won’t have any left.”

“But I thought you liked it out here.”

“I do, very much so, it’s the only home I’ve ever really known, but I need to start my own life and live my own dream, as my father did.”

“And what is your dream?”

He went pensive and seemed to look into himself. “To be me. To be and do what I want to be and do, and to make my own Ponderosa, so to speak. And before you ask, I’m still not exactly sure where that’ll be, but I keep playing with the idea of returning to Boston.”

“You’ve been there?”

“I was born there and went to Boston University. I suppose it’s a second home, and maybe I’ll find somebody there to share my life with.”

“Do you have any family there?”

“No, there was only my mother’s father but he passed on when I was fifteen, and there’s no one there from my father’s family.”

Their eyes connected and for a long moment neither moved. Even their breathing seemed to be lost and words superfluous.

“Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama!” Libby shouted as she burst in through the front door, jarring them back.

“In here,” Suzanne said as she came to her feet.

The flushed faced little girl came around the stove.

“Libby, sweetheart,” she said as she took the child’s arms, “what’s wrong?”

“There’s somethin’ wrong with Sugar,” she said breathlessly. “She’s layin’ down and actin’ funny, and she’s makin’ funny sounds.”

Adam tossed the remnants of his current cookie onto the plate and got onto his good foot. “This could be it. I promised Hoss that I’d look after her while he was in town.” He took up his crutches and hopped around the end of the desk. “Come on, Libby, let’s go see.”

The three of them trooped through the parlor and out, Libby leading the way. If it was indeed Sugar’s time, and Adam hoped it wasn’t, then someone needed to be with her.

SIX

Hoss had gone into Virginia City on a personal errand and only because his older brother had given his word to watch after the mare. Even with that, though, he normally wouldn’t have gone, but he felt that Adam needed it and it wasn’t like Hoss didn’t trust him. As he rode into the yard Royce and Ellis came tearing out of the barn. “Hoss! Hoss!” they shouted as he reined up by the water trough. “Sugar’s having her baby!”

“Where’s Adam?” he asked as he came down out of the saddle.

“He and Mama’s with her,” Royce said excitedly.

“All right, boys, let’s see if’n we can help ‘er,” and he herded them inside.

The small yellow dun was lying on her side and moaning down low. Adam knelt next to her and gently stroked along her neck and withers and talked in a soft, comforting tone, while Suzanne rubbed the animal’s head between its large, tired eyes. Irene stood with her little sister near the stall divider, her hands resting on the child’s shoulders. The boys rushed in ahead of Hoss.

“How long she been like this?” Hoss asked as he got down into the sweet straw.

“About two hours,” Adam said as his dark troubled eyes flicked to his brother.

Adam didn’t have to spell it out, he was worried. The young horse had already lost two foals and it was more than a grim possibility that she would lose this one as well. Hoss ran his hand over her brown nose and talked to her. Then her moans changed and grew faster and more pained. Adam put his hand on her side. “This may be it,” he said as he glanced at Hoss.

For the next thirty minutes they aided the distressed mother the best they could. Hoss rolled up his sleeves and had to help the baby to enter the world while his brother and Suzanne continued calming Sugar. The children watched wide-eyed as the new life was delivered.

“Well look what we got here,” Hoss said as he began drying the tiny creature off with a rag. “It’s a boy.” But it didn’t take him long to realize that something was desperately wrong. “It ain’t breathin’.”

All that could be heard after that was Sugar’s heavy breathing.

Hoss tried jostling the baby but it was limp and unresponsive. He tried again and when that brought nothing he knew it was time for more drastic measures. The children winced and gasped as he pinched its neck and pinched hard. It brought quick results and a wee whinny. Almost immediately long, knobby legs began to move in a feeble attempt to get up but soon stopped and it simply lay there and panted. “How’s she doin’?” he asked with a quick glance up as he massaged the colt.

“She’s had it pretty rough,” Adam said as he brought his hand affectionately over the dusty tan coat. “It’s all right, girl.”

“Poor little mother. After this I think we ought not let ‘er have anymore.”

“I think that’s a good idea,” Adam agreed. “She just isn’t up to it.” He smiled warmly as he continued to pet. “I think anymore could kill her.”

“Well, younguns, why don’t you come see the new baby?”

The children edged closer with a cautious glance at their mother and got an approving nod and encouraging smile.

“Can I touch ‘im?” Libby asked and stayed close to her sister.

“You all can, but you gotta be real easy. He ain’t too strong just yet.”

The children knelt down and small hands began tenderly rubbing the shiny coat. The frail colt didn’t have the strength to mind and simply lay there.

“He’s so soft,” Libby said with awe.

“What’re you gonna name ‘im,” Royce asked.

“Well, I ain’t rightly give that much thought yet,” Hoss said and scratched the side of his head, “but we don’t havta rush into it. We oughtta just wait an’ see how he grows.”

The children concurred wholeheartedly and continued to lavish attention on the petite copy of his mother.

Hoss watched the youngsters and enjoyed their wonder at the new life before them. But the smile that adorned his full face slowly dissolved, and his blue eyes met with his brother’s. No one had to tell him what was in Adam’s mind for it was in his own. They had seen it before with calves and other foals, and though they had adapted themselves to it over the years it still wasn’t a pleasant aspect of life. He gave the slender neck a pat and hoped that this time they were wrong.

*******

Adam sat on the side of the bed unbuttoning his shirt when a knock came, and his fingers stopped as he looked around. “Come in.”

The door opened a crack and Ben’s silver head poked in. “All right if I come in, son?”

“Sure, Pa, I’m just getting ready for bed.” His nimble fingers resumed their chore as the door was pushed together.

“Isn’t it a tad early?” Ben said as concern replaced his smile. “You aren’t feeling sick, are you?”

“No, Pa, but it has been a long day, and I just thought I’d hit it a little early. You don’t mind, do you?”

A warm grin displaced the unease. “No, I don’t mind,” Ben said as he sat on the mattress next to him. “How’s the foot doing?”

“Not so bad, but it’s maddening not to be able to get around without the crutches. Still, it’s better than a wheelchair that you could spend the rest of your life in.”

The blood drained from Ben’s face, and his throat tightened. He knew his son was recalling the bleak time when that had been a distinct possibility. It had been three years since Adam had fallen while working on the house that would have been his and Laura Dayton’s once she had become his wife. The image of his first-born confined to that contraption still came to him, though not as much as it once had, and it yet had the ability to chill his bones. “Yes, it is.”

He watched as Adam slipped out of the shirt and hung it over the footboard and tried catching any hint of pain or glassiness in the dark hazel eyes. “What about your head? Any headaches or blurred or doubled vision?”

“Head’s fine too, Pa,” Adam said as he began unfastening his britches. “I sure wish I could get back to working on the house, and I don’t like leaving you shorthanded.”

“I know that, son,” Ben said as he rested a hand on Adam’s tanned, bare back, “but these things just happen, and we never know when they’ll come up.”

Adam gave a brief nod then began slipping out of his britches. “By-the-way, I wonder how Jake’s liking it in the bunkhouse with the men after his first night? He hasn’t said anything about it to me; in fact, I haven’t even seen him today.”

“Mort was telling me this morning that the men like him, and he’s getting along with them just fine. I think they were impressed with him when you had your accident. He did exactly as he was told and waded right in, and he’s a good worker.”

“That comes as no surprise.” Adam snapped up the soft cotton nightshirt from where it lay by the pillows. “He’s been the man of the family for going on four years now, so he’s no stranger to hard work.” He eased the night garment on over his head. “Granted, I haven’t known him that long, but when I’ve been around he’s never shirked. He’s a fine young man, and we could do worse than to have him.”

“I know that, and, at least for now, we get the fringe benefit of having Suzanne and his brothers and sisters with us. His mother is a fine woman, and it’s good having young ones under this roof again. It’s been too long since these walls have heard the laughter of children.”

Adam had gone pensive and his hands had stopped while his eyes where set on the floor. Ben had an idea what was on his son’s mind, but he wasn’t sure if he should bring it up. Then fatherly concern got the better of him. “Joe told me what happened when you were at the Madden’s last month.”

Adam’s concentration moved to his hands. “I said it was all right as long as it didn’t leave the family.”

There was a pause in the conversation. Ben could almost see the thoughts tumbling through the dark head as Adam just sat quietly. He had known for some time that his son was lonely and yearned for the companionship of a woman and helpmate. It seemed to have gotten worse in the last few weeks, and he guessed that maybe now he knew why. “Do you love Suzanne Madden?” he asked softly.

After what felt like an interminable period Adam finally looked around. “I tried convincing myself that I didn’t, but now…”

“You’re not so certain.”

“No,” Adam said on a deep breath, “and I’m not so sure she is either.”

“Have you talked to her about it?”

“No, we haven’t even brought the subject up. I don’t know if it’s because we’re afraid of it or what we’ll find out. When she kissed me she was kissing her husband, and there wasn’t much thought behind it, it just happened.”

“Well, both of you need to find out. You wouldn’t want to let the right person get away anymore than you’d want to spend your life with the wrong one. It didn’t take me long to realize it with your mother, or Joe’s or Hoss’, for that matter. I’m afraid that confusion can all too often be a part of the process, but you’ll know it when the right one comes along, if she hasn’t already.” Ben grinned and gave him a slap on the back. “But then you know that already. Now I’d better go and let you get to sleep,” and he came to his feet. “You’ll figure it out, you always seem to…. And don’t let what happened with Laura hold you back.”

Adam’s solemn eyes came up.

“She just wasn’t the one. Good-night, son.”

“Good-night, Pa.”

Ben went out and quietly pulled the door shut behind him, and Adam found himself alone again. There were so many unanswered questions. Did he love Suzanne, and did she feel the same about him? Was Laura coming between them and had she with other women? And if it wasn’t Suzanne would he ever find her or would he pass from this life a lonely old man longing for what he never had?

With a heavy sigh, he riffled his fingers in his hair. Then he stood and hopped one-footed to the head of the bed and turned down the covers. He blew out the lamp on the bed table then flopped down and slid between the sheets. As his head sunk into the plump pillow his eyes directed to the ceiling and the faint streak of yellowish light that came from the porch lamp. This was going to be a restless night, he feared, but why fight it? And, anyway, he might figure something out in the darkness.

SEVEN

Hoss had asked the men to help him kinda keep an eye on Sugar’s baby and his big brother, what with Joe constantly sparking to Judd Hellman’s daughter when he wasn’t working and his own chores to take care of, he did need the assistance. Even Hop Sing had volunteered to watch the little fella and the children had been very prompt in their promise of aid.

Hugh Kelso knelt in the straw. With a delicate touch he lifted the colt’s head and dipped his hand into the bucket he’d brought. It had in it a special milk blend that Hoss had concocted for young horses that couldn’t or wouldn’t nurse from their mothers, and this one filled the bill. He felt this was a waste of time, but he couldn’t just give up. Like the Cartwrights, he was no quitter. “Come on, little feller, this’ll make you big and strong like your daddy.”

But the fragile baby showed no inclination to do so.

“Maybe he’s just not hungry.”

Hugh looked up as Suzanne Madden’s youngest came inside.

“Oh, I think he is, he just don’t have the strength to get it down.”

“So that’s why you’re trying to do it for ‘im?”

“That’s right,” he said as he dipped his hand in the bucket again. “Come on, little boy, won’t you eat just a bit for ol’ Hugh?” The colt, however, still couldn’t muster up any interest in it.

She knelt next to him and began running her hand tenderly along the baby’s neck. “Come on and eat. You won’t get big if you don’t.” As her hand continued over the silky coat the hint of a frown cast itself over her dainty features. “Do you think he’ll ever get up?”

He thought about skirting the issue but he’d been raised to believe that half a truth was as bad as a whole life. “No, Missy, I don’t.”

“Why not? Don’t you want ‘im to?”

“Sure I do,” he said as he gave the little animal a pat on the withers, “I think he’d make a fine ranch horse, but I’ve seen enough weaklin’ colts to know when I’m lookin’ at another one. Of course, I could be wrong, I have been before.”

“Weaklin’? What’s that?”

“That’s when a little one’s born wrong. Maybe somethin’s just not right inside or his mama had trouble bringin’ him into the world.”

“Like Sugar did?”

“Just like that. Or he just plain ain’t got the spirit to try. When that happens there just never seems to be no better. So it’ll be best when he just goes.”

“But I don’t want ‘im to,” she said forcefully. “I want ‘im to stay here with us.”

“I know you do, Missy, but he needs to go where he can run and be strong and play with the angels and other little horses. In Heaven he’ll be able to do things he can’t here.”

“I didn’t know horses went to Heaven.”

“No reason they shouldn’t. They’re His creatures too.” Then he became aware of another presence and found himself looking into the aqua eyes of Suzanne Madden as she sat down next to her daughter.

“Mama, do horses really go to Heaven? He says they do.”

Her sumptuous mouth formed a warm smile as she settled her skirt so that it hid her feet and petticoats. “I believe so,” she said as she lightly stroked the baby’s downy pink nose. “I think that birdsong is sweeter there and bees don’t sting.”

“And sick baby horses can run and play?”

“That’s right, dear.”

Hugh couldn’t tear his eyes away from this woman, and her nearness went to his head like several shots of whiskey. His breathing had never behaved this way, and his heart beat like it did when he almost got shot that time in San Antonio.

“I’m afraid I don’t know your name,” Suzanne said and held out her hand. “I’m Suzanne Madden and this is my daughter Libby.”

“Oh, I know right enough who you are. I’m Hugh Kelso.” He furiously wiped his hand on his britches leg then took hers.

“I’ve seen you around since we came and then when you helped Adam into the house, and it’s finally a pleasure to get to meet you.”

“And it’s my pleasure to finally meet the mother of a fine boy like Jake. He’s a good worker and an easy one to get to know and talk to. I don’t think there’s a man here who don’t like him, and when Mister Adam was caught under that limb, your son worked as hard as any one of us to get him free.”

“Adam said when he opened his eyes that Jake was holding him.”

“That’s right, Ma’am,” Hugh said and scratched at the twinge at the back of his head. “I think the Cartwrights did good when they took ‘im on.”

“Thank you for saying that.”

“I hope you don’t mind the extra company,” Adam said as he propelled himself with the crutches over to them, Irene, Royce and Ellis tagging along. “It was getting a little boring in the house, and we just needed to get out. How’s he doing, Hugh.”

“I can’t get ‘im to eat. I made up a batch of that special milk but he just don’t seem to want it. I tried usin’ my hand but it didn’t do any good.”

Gingerly, Adam settled down on his knees and laid the crutches aside. “Well, we’ll just see if we can come up with something. If we had a bottle of some sort or a spoon, that might work.”

“One of Hoss’ feedin’ bottles,” Hugh said enthusiastically as inspiration struck. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of that sooner.”

“He usually keeps ‘em on that shelf next to the harnesses,” Adam said, and he watched as Hugh got up and went to the back.

“Here they are.” Hugh quickly snared one and rushed back with it.

The children gathered around their mother and they watched as the bottle was filled. Hugh got around behind the baby and held its head in his lap, tilting its muzzle up.

“Here goes,” Adam said.

*******

It was nearly three hours later when Ben, Joe and Hoss rode into the yard, and were instantly aware of excited voices coming from the barn. With an exchange of puzzled looks they got down and led their mounts inside.

By this time, Sarah had joined them and was standing with her mother and siblings, and their intent eyes were directed toward Adam and Hugh.

“Adam, what…?” Ben started but didn’t finish when he saw what all the commotion was about.

The foal was upright with its legs tucked under it. It still appeared to be unsteady, but at least if was up on its own.

“Well, I’ll be dogged,” Hoss said as he came forward and spied the almost empty bucket and bottle. “How’d you git ‘im to eat? I tried this mornin’ before we left an’ he wouldn’t have nothin’ to do with it. So’s how’d you two git ‘im to?”

“It was the boss’ idea,” Hugh said.

“What idea?” Joe asked as he stepped next to his father.

“He wouldn’t have anything to do with that special concoction of yours, so we just milked Sugar.”

Hoss’ eyes glittered. “Mama’s milk.”

“You woulda thought the little feller was bottomless once we got ‘im started on it,” Hugh said and gave the baby a pat on the neck.

“Well, I guess I don’t need this special medicine I bought in town anymore,” Hoss said as he took the bottle from his coat pocket.

Libby crept forward and began petting the baby’s face. “Does this mean he won’t be going to Heaven?” she asked as she looked directly at Hugh.

“Looks like, but we’ll just havta wait and see,” Hugh said.

“Now are we gonna name ‘im?” Ellis asked.

“I’m gonna call ‘im Miracle,” Libby said as she continued running her hand between his eyes.

“I think that’s just the right name for ‘im,” Hoss said as he stooped next to her. “’Cause he sure is a miracle.”

All eyes were on Libby and the colt except for the one pair of saddle tan ones. So centered on the two young ones were the others that no one saw those eyes were set hard on Suzanne.

EIGHT

Having just turned twenty, Tristine Hellman was a sylph of a girl with tress after tress of long brunette hair that struck her just behind the knees when worn down. She was a feast to a man’s eyes, and she knew it and it showed in her haughty manner. Not many people said ‘no’ to her and when they did it didn’t go over well. Her father had owned a neighboring spread that abutted the Ponderosa near Carson City for almost as long as Ben had been there. She and Joe had practically grown up together until she had gone east to finishing school and only just recently returned. Now she was back, and he and some of the other young men hung about her like honey bees around a flower, and she loved the attention.

The golden palomino mare that her father had presented her with upon her homecoming came around the barn and entered the yard. Her dusky eyes roved about her and quickly caught sight of what she was looking for.

Joe was sitting on a bench at the front of the house in the process of repairing some of the tools.

“I hope you’re not too busy to entertain a lady,” she said as she reined up in front of him.

“Tristine,” he said as he looked up. “Does your father know you’re this far from home alone? You are alone.”

“Of course, I’m alone, silly. I am, after all, a grown woman of twenty.”

“That you are,” he said as his admiring gaze roved over well her proportioned figure. Putting a hoe that had just gotten a new handle aside and wiping his hands on his coat he went over to her. “I certainly didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Well, it has been almost five days since we’ve seen each other so I decided that if you wouldn’t come to see me I would just come to see you.”

With his hands on her waist and hers on his shoulders, Joe lifted her down from the elegantly tooled side saddle.

“I’ve been meaning to come by, but things’ve been so busy here that Pa hasn’t been able to spare me.”

“When has that ever stopped you?” She put her hands behind his neck and intertwined her fingers, and her seductive eye played games with him. “Or is it that you’re just getting bored with me.”

“That I could never do,” he said as his hands lingered on her petite waist. “But I…”

She pulled her fingertips over his mouth. “Aht, aht, there are no excuses for rudeness.”

“I wasn’t trying to be rude,” he said as he clasped her hand in his, “but what with Adam hurt and the Madden’s staying with us things’ve been more than a little hectic. And we still have to get their house finished.”

“Oh, pooh. Since when has an old house been more important than your feelings for me?”

Just then they were interrupted as two of the hands rode into the yard. The men watched the young couple with knowing grins as they dismounted and led their horses around behind the bunkhouse to the stable where the work horses were kept.

“This isn’t very private, but I know of a better place.” She took his hand and began tugging him toward the barn.

Joe went willingly without a struggle or an argument.

Sarah tripped lightly down the stairs humming a merry tune. The glow in her young face betrayed her youthful exuberance as she bounced down into the parlor. Adam was sitting at his father’s desk, his sketches for the Madden’s new house spread out before him and a pencil gripped firmly in his right hand. His dark head was bent over them, and his mouth was pulled into a pucker.

Sarah stopped and looked about her then turned her attention to him. “Mr. Cartwright, have you seen Joe?”

“Not for some time,” he said as his eyes darted quickly in her direction, “but he did mention something about some tools that needed mending.”

“Thank you,” she said then practically skipped out the front door.

As she stepped out past the porch she stopped and her eyes scanned the yard but saw no trace of him. A mishmash of tools lay near a bench but she gave it little attention. She started toward the barn and waylaid a hand that was just coming out with a coil of rope. When asked if he had seen the youngest Cartwright he told her that he thought he had seen him go behind the barn but made no mention of anyone else. With a polite ‘thank you’ she left him to his job. As she came around the corral she heard voices and knew immediately that she recognized one of them as Joe’s. The other, however, she didn’t but it was decidedly female.

As she rounded the corner of the building her feet rooted themselves to the ground. He was with a girl and they had their hands on each other. Nothing inappropriate or suggestive, but they were definitely touching as more than just friends. She was beautiful and refined and Sarah swallowed down the envy that rose into her throat like bitter bile. The words they were saying burned into her like a hot iron, and their sickening tone made it even worse.

Then the girl saw her – though Joe still seemed to be unaware of her presence – and something in her eyes made Sarah’s skin prickle. Then she took Joe’s face in her hands and kissed him, and he put his arms around her and kissed back without the slightest bit of reluctance.

Sarah could feel the tears burning her eyes like vinegar, and her heart beat like the wings of a frantic butterfly trapped in a net. Her stomach had bunched into a hard wad, and she couldn’t tell if she was still breathing.

Then the kiss was broken off and the emerald eyes came around in her direction. “Sarah,” he said, and the shocked surprise was unmistakable.

Without so much as a sound, Sarah whirled and bolted away.

“Sarah!” he called and started after her, but Tristine seized his arm and held him back.

“So that’s the one that’s been chasing after you. Plain little thing, isn’t she?”

Flame rose up and consumed Joe’s eyes. “You knew she was there, didn’t you?”

“Of course, I did. I thought she needed to find out who you belong to.”

“I don’t belong to anybody except myself, and certainly not you, not after this. Now I think you’d just better go on home, your father and brothers are probably looking for you.” He pulled her hand from his arm roughly and just glared at her.

“Oh, Joe, don’t be…”

“I think you can find the way by yourself.” Then he took off after the girl, leaving Tristine standing there fuming.

Adam was standing in the middle of the parlor – held up by his crutches, and his eyes directed toward the second floor – when Joe tore in. “Adam, have you seen Sarah?” he asked as he came to stand with his brother.

“She ran in here crying and went up to their room.” He shook his head and looked at Joe. “And I thought you could slam a door when you were that age. I asked her what was wrong, but I don’t think she even noticed me. What happened?”

“Oh, she saw me kissing Tristine Hellman out behind the barn.”

“Uh-oh. So, whadaya gonna do about it?”

“I’m gonna try talking to her.”

“Good luck,” Adam said dubiously as he thumped his brother on the back, and Joe started for the stairs.

Sarah’s heart was breaking and it hurt like nothing ever had. She was lying on her stomach on the bed, her pitiful sobs muffled by the pillow. That callous cad had been kissing and making love to another woman while she was faithful to the end. Oh, how she wished she could just die.

A fretful knocking came at the door but she paid no attention as her wounded lamentations continued. Then she heard his voice saying her name, and that she couldn’t ignore.

“Go away!”

“Sarah!”

“I said go away! I don’t ever want to see you again!”

“Please, Sarah, I need to talk to you! I want to explain!”

That did it. She bounded from the bed and stomped to the door and jerked it open. “There’s nothing to explain! It was bad enough that you did that to me, but you went behind my back! Joe, how could you?”

“Sarah, won’t you please just…”

“I won’t please anything! And you can have that little snip! She’s more your type than I am anyway! I hope you’re very happy together!” Then she slammed the door in his face. She ran back to the bed and flopped down on it, burying her face in the pillow again, and her weeping grew louder. “No, I don’t! I hope you’re both miserable! I hate you, Joe Cartwright, and I hope I never have to look at you again as long as I live!”

*******

The house had settled into a quiet evening as everyone – with the exception of Sarah – gathered around the fire. Few words were exchanged, even among the children, with the pleasure of each other’s company at the center of things. Little had been said about what had happened earlier and Suzanne’s oldest daughter refused to talk about it.

It wasn’t long before supper when someone began banging the heavy brass knocker on the solid oak front door. Hoss went to answer it and was greeted by the flushed and angry bear that was Judd Hellman. He wasn’t given a chance to say anything before Judd pushed his way inside, his daughter in tow.

The man’s earth brown eyes – grown darker with fury – shot straight to Joe, who was standing in front of the roaring fire with Royce and Ellis

“Judd,” Ben said as he came out of his favorite chair. “What’s wrong?”

“I’ll tell you all about it, but first I think you should send the children from the room,” he snapped as his eyes narrowed on Joe. “This is not something for them to hear.”

“All right, it’ll soon be time to eat, and I want you all to go wash up,” Suzanne said as she began rounding them up.

She met with a few protests from the boys but they did as they were told and trudged upstairs.

“All right, Judd, now tell us what the problem is,” Ben said as he came around the end of the settee.

“He’s the problem,” Judd said as he pointed an accusing finger at Joe. “He forced his attentions on my daughter. Making her do things she didn’t want to do even after she told him ‘no’.”

“Now, Mr. Hellman, that isn’t so,” Joe said as he came forward.

“That’s not what Tristine says. Oh, I know all about you, Joe Cartwright.”

“Now you wait just one minute Judd, we’ve been friends a long time, but when you start accusing one of my sons of something like this…”

“Ah, Ben, don’t be naive. Everybody knows his reputation with the girls. You may be used to chasers like this Sarah but…”

Judd Hellman quite abruptly found himself looking into the livid aqua eyes of Suzanne Madden, her face ashen with ire and resentment. “My daughter is no chaser. She’s simply a young girl who became infatuated with a handsome and charming older man. And I heartily approve of her choice, as I would with any one of Ben Cartwright’s sons.”

Judd drew in his horns and stepped back to a safe distance as his hat came off, disheveling his thick dark brown hair. “All right,” he started feebly, “maybe I’m wrong about your daughter, Madam, but I’m not about this.”

“Yes, you are,” came softly from the top landing.

Every eye there turned in her direction.

“Sarah,” Suzanne said.

“None of that happened,” Sarah said as she started down. “I know, because I was there. She was the one making the advances to Joe, and she kissed him. I heard it, and I saw it.” She went to stand with her mother, who put a reassuring arm around her shoulders.

“That’s not the truth. She’s just jealous, and she’d say anything to protect him. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they got together and made this preposterous story up between them.”

“This is the first time I’ve seen him since you left, and you can ask anybody in this room,” Sarah said coolly. “And I don’t think he needs my protection.”

“Well, they’d…” Tristine started but stopped when she found herself standing toe-to-toe with a dangerously calm Sarah Madden.

“My parents didn’t raise us not to be truthful,” Sarah said scathingly.

Then Judd’s severe eyes turned on his daughter, and she instantly paled. “Neither did we. Tristine? Is what she’s saying right?”

The girl looked at each one of them then back to her father. “Daddy, I…” she stammered.

“I’d hoped that sending you to that school in Philadelphia would help you to grow up, but it obviously didn’t. Maybe we spoiled our only daughter too much, and that’s our fault.” With a rough expulsion of breath Judd looked around at his old friend. “Ben, I’m sorry. We always want to believe our own children.”

“Yes, we do,” Ben said sympathetically. “Now why don’t you just take your daughter home, and let’s forget about this whole thing?”

“Thanks, Ben.” Then he turned on Tristine with a freezing glare. “We will talk about this when we get back to the house and your mother, young lady. And please remember that you’re not too old for a good spanking.”

“I’m an adult, Daddy.”

“Then I suggest you act like one. Now let’s go. You can apologize later, and you will. Good night and I’m truly sorry about this. I’m sorry, Joe,” and he rushed his daughter outside and Hoss closed the door behind them.

“Well, that’s a nice thing to build an appetite on,” Adam quipped from his blue chair.

“Boy, I sure wouldn’t wantta be that girl when ol’ Judd gits her back to her ma,” Hoss said with a grimace.

Joe went to stand in front of Sarah and took her hands. “Thank you, Sarah.”

“I didn’t do it for you. I just don’t like a liar,” and her eyes cut into him like keen knives then she turned and went sedately back upstairs.

NINE

Three days had passed since the night when Tristine Hellman had made a spectacle of herself and – to her doubtless regret – her father in the bargain. The apology still had not been made, but those who knew Judd and Miriam Hellman knew that it would be forthcoming. Sarah still wanted no part of Joe Cartwright and spent most of her free time with anyone but him. Even the company of animals seemed preferable.

Adam – the bandage since removed from his head – was getting around better, though he still had to rely on the crutches to fill in for his injured foot. And – as was standard practice and part and parcel of the man – he didn’t complain. With careful navigation he made it up the two steps and onto the porch. Leaning his spare legs against the table, he pulled out a chair and cautiously lowered himself into it.

He’d no sooner parked when the front door opened and the sound of boots brought a cheery voice.

“Isn’t it still a little too cold to be sitting out here this early in the day,” Joe asked as he came closer.

“I don’t think so, but then what do I know? I’ve never had that much of an aversion to the cold anyway. Maybe it’s my blue Boston blood. Besides, I had to get out of the house a little while before I went mad.”

“Well, the good thing is, it won’t last,” Joe said as he sat down at the other end of the table.

“So, what do you have planned for this Saturday other than the usual?”

“The usual along with some more of the usual,” Joe said with a knowing smirk.

This brought a laugh, which quickly abated as they saw Sarah coming around the front of the house.

“Good morning, Adam,” she said brightly.

“Good morning, Sarah.”

But her eyes never touched on Joe or even acknowledged his presence, and she went straight inside.

“Unless I miss my guess, you just got snubbed,” Adam said with a single raised eyebrow.

“You didn’t, and I did, and I’ve lost count of how many times that’s been.”

“They do start young, don’t they?”

“I think they’re born that way.”

“Of course, you know you’re gonna have to talk to her and get this whole mess fixed.”

“I’ve already tried, more than once.”

“Well, she may never like you again and it could sour her on men for the rest of her life. A blow like that to a fifteen-year-old can do more harm than if she was, say, twenty-six.”

“How do you know so much about women?”

“Experience and more than a few feminine hands across my face.”

Suddenly, a shrill, gleeful squeal caught their attention and they looked around toward the barn just as Libby darted out and headed in their direction, her bonnet ties bouncing along with her.

“Mornin’, Adam. Mornin’, Joe.”

Before they could say anything, however, she ran into the house, leaving the door hanging wide open. Then movement made them look back. Miracle was coming along after her, his long, nimble legs carrying him forward. They watched with amazement as the little horse went inside. After a few more minutes of serenity the air was shattered by a loud, steady torrent of heated Chinese. Libby dashed back out – a cookie in each hand – and headed for the barn. Miracle came out at a sprightly trot and followed her. In a few seconds Hop Sing burst out waving a large cleaver in their direction and ranting in Cantonese. As he turned he caught sight of the brothers.

“Hop Sing no have time for foolishment. Kitchen not place for horse, even baby.” Shaking his head, he went back inside muttering to himself then the door slammed.

Slowly, Joe and Adam looked at each other and – after what amounted to probably no more than a second – both broke into uproarious laughter.

*******

Suzanne had been busy all morning. Since coming here she had done more than her share of work and earned the right to enter Hop Sing’s kitchen without threats or ominous scowls. In fact, he seemed to enjoy her company, and she could tell that the children were a delight to him, and she got the impression that Libby, with her child’s zest for life, was becoming his favorite. She’d been told repeatedly about that morning’s antic with the foal and it still made her chuckle. Her only regret was that she hadn’t witnessed it herself.

She was adroitly dusting Ben’s desk, careful not to disturb anything and what required moving was carefully replaced as it had been. The sketches for the new house had been left scattered over the blotter and a drafting pencil lay nearby. As she gathered them up, she could imagine Adam sitting in the tufted green leather chair, bent over them, and his mouth pulled into its characteristic pucker of undivided concentration. It elicited a contented smile as her hands tightened on them.

She had straightened them out and was about to return them to the blotter when a hand was placed lightly on her back, giving her a mild start. With a small gasp she turned – clutching the papers to her – and found herself facing Adam Cartwright.

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said in that rich baritone of his.

“I was only tidying up a little.”

“You’ve been tidying up all morning and pretty much ever since you got here.” He took the drawings from her as he balanced on the crutches and put them on the corner of the desk.

“I’m only trying to…”

“I know what you’re trying to do, and it isn’t necessary, and, anyway, that’s not why I brought you here. You don’t owe us anything; it’s a pleasure having you and your family. Now, when was the last time you were out to the house? When you went with me the day of my accident, right?”

“Yes, but…”

“Spare me the ‘buts’. I think you need to get away from here, away from me and my family and from Hop Sing and the children, if only for a short time.”

“But, Adam, I…”

“What did I say about those ‘buts’?” he said as he waggled a chastising finger at her with an admonishing grin. “Now, why don’t you get Jake to drive you out there? I think you’ll be pleased with the progress that’s been made since your last visit.”

She grasped his hand in both of hers and held it still. “Don’t you remember that Jake is with the men helping to clear brush out in the southern section today?”

“Oh, that’s right,” he said as his face fell in dejection.

“But it doesn’t matter; if I want to go I can drive myself.”

“You’ll do no such thing,” he said, instantly chipper again. “I’ll just get somebody else to take you.”

He pulled his hand free, and his one boot thumped the floor as he hobbled over to the door.

“Adam.”

“Don’t argue with me,” he said as his impish eyes flashed back at her. “It’s not practical, as my family’s learned through the years.” He snickered. “But that hasn’t stopped them.” He opened the door just as Hugh Kelso was headed toward the bunkhouse. “Hugh, could you come here a minute?”

With a quick turn, Hugh ran up onto the porch and stopped in front of Adam. “Yeah, Boss, whadaya need?”

“Mrs. Madden wants to go out to the new house, and I’d like for you to hitch up the buckboard and take her.”

Hugh gulped as his eyes shot past Adam to Suzanne as she came to stand by the table behind the settee. He hastily swiped his hat from his head, and his fingers clenched on the brim. It wasn’t that he was afraid of being alone with her, and it wasn’t that he didn’t trust himself, but what if he made himself look like a fool? She was not the kind of woman to be drawn to a fool. “All right, Boss.” Omigosh, what did he just say? “I’ll get right to it. Ma’am.” He gave her a courteous nod then started off across the yard for the barn. “Jackass,” he grumbled under his breath.

Adam hid his amusement as he watched him go. He would’ve had to have been dead four years to miss the man’s reaction. Hugh Kelso was smitten with Suzanne Madden, but what he felt with the knowledge wasn’t what he would have expected. It wasn’t jealousy but happiness tinged with an edge of relief. A good woman needed a good man, and Hugh Kelso was definitely a good man. And Suzanne deserved to be happy.

TEN

Hugh helped Suzanne from the buckboard and got a polite thank you. As Adam had hinted, quite a bit of progress had been made on the house. Some of the outer walls were up, and it was partially enclosed and the front porch was in the process of being added.

“The boss really knows how to design a house, don’t he?” he said as they stopped near the window that would look into the dining room.

“He most certainly does,” she said as she pulled her cloak around her. “This will make a wonderful home, and it’s in such a beautiful spot.”

“Yes, Ma’am, it sure is.” As he moved closer he accidentally brushed her arm and a quick intake of air whistled through his teeth.

“I think we’ll be very happy here, and being so much closer to the big house, Jake can come by more often than if we stayed at the old place.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

He followed her as she walked around to the back where work had already commenced on digging the well. There were two large oaks in addition to the four in what would be their front yard. She stepped to one and rubbed her hand over its rough bark. “Any one of these will be perfect for a swing for the children, and I’d like to have one for myself on the front porch.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

Her brows arched but she didn’t say anything or look at him. She strolled over to the slight embankment where it had been decided to put the privy. Anyone who had any sense knew what it could be like in the hot summertime when it was too close to the house, especially the kitchen and dining room.

“Yes, indeed, a fine spot for a house,” she said as she hugged herself. She took a deep breath of the fresh, crisp air then spun around on a whim. “I want to go inside.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

She was becoming annoyed with his constant ‘Yes, Ma’am’.

“I’ll stay right here and wait for you,” he went on.

“Well, you don’t have to do that. You’ve put in a lot of hard work on it too, and I think a man should enjoy the fruits of his labor.”

“I’d rather, Ma’am, if you don’t mind.”

Her brow furrowed. “Very well, I won’t be long.”

The back of the house was still open, and she went in through the vacant space where the door would go. It was shadowy inside from the dense limbs and branches of the trees since there was still no roof. The framework for the walls was up but hadn’t been filled in yet, and it was like an open maze. Like this it was difficult to make out each room, with the exception of the good-sized parlor at the front. She had insisted on a single floor since it was what she was used to, and it made it easier to keep track of the children, but the luxury of her own bedroom Adam had insisted upon.

As she moved wistfully through her own dream world – her mind miles away – a bird fluttered down from the rafters. In its panic it swooped low over her, striking her head with a wingtip and mussing her hair. Startled, she screamed as she was hastily jerked from her reverie. As she whirled she realized she was falling, and she reached out but only caught air. Suddenly, she was jerked back and strong arms wrapped around her, and she found herself braced against a sturdy chest. She looked up into those saddle tan eyes, and her heart rate increased. Gentle fingers took her chin then firm, moist lips smothered hers, and her breathing grew erratic. An electric charge ran through her and touched every nerve ending in her body. Her eyes closed and for a small instant in time she felt loved by a man but – oddly enough – it was in the present and not the past. What was happening to her? This wasn’t Raul, and she was well aware of it. She knew nothing of this man except that he was holding her, and she didn’t want him to let go, and it frightened her. Her eyes immediately flew open as she placed her hands against him and pushed back.

As their mouths parted he looked down on her with a lightness of heart he had never known. This moment was everything he had hoped it would be and more. But as he held her and caught the look in her eyes the full force of what he had just done hit him like a heavily swung board. He released her and stepped back and swiped his grimy hat from his head. “Oh, Ma’am, I’m sorry…. I don’t know what made me take such a liberty. I’m… I’m real sorry.”

“I…” she pushed a stray strand of hair back from her face, “I think maybe we… should go back… now.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

They went out through the front door since it was quicker, and he kept a secure grip on her elbow lest she fall again. Without words, he helped her onto the seat then climbed in next to her and took up the reins. He looked at her but she kept her eyes directed straight ahead. He gave the reins a snap and the buckboard lurched forward as he urged the team on.

*******

Since Pa was in town on legal business with their attorney, Hoss and Joe had decided to hang around with their brother after the midday meal. Sure there was work they needed to get at, but they didn’t think half an hour or so would hurt anything. They were gathered before the fireplace sharing brotherly chitchat when they heard the buckboard come into the yard.

“That’s probably Suzanne and Hugh,” Adam said as he rose from the blue chair.

“I bet she’s real happy with all the work that’s been done,” Hoss said as he followed after his older brother.

Joe rushed on ahead of them and opened the door. “I can hardly wait to hear what she has to say about it,” he said with boyish exuberance.

As they went out onto the porch Suzanne was coming toward them with a flounce while Hugh took the team and buckboard into the barn.

“So,” Adam started eagerly, “did you enjoy yourself?”

Without so much as a howdy she slapped him dead across the face then continued on inside. Adam reeled back and his brothers had to steady him. His hand went to his cheek as three sets of flabbergasted eyes watched her go.

“What did you do?” Joe asked with a curl to his upper lip.

“I was hoping somebody could tell me,” Adam said as he continued rubbing the reddening spot.

“I don’t think it’s so much what you done,” Hoss said with a cursory glance toward the barn, “as what somebody else done.”

Their attention focused in that direction.

“Ooops,” Joe said.

“I don’t know about you two, but I’m gonna get to the bottom of this. If I’m gonna get slapped for something, I at least want to know what it is so I know whether I deserved it or not.”

They started off to confront Hugh Kelso, Hoss and Joe protectively on either side of their brother. When they got inside Hugh was unharnessing the last of the horses.

“So, Hugh,” Adam began with an unmistakable hint of sarcasm that made his brothers wince, “did you have a nice time?”

“Yeah, it was okay,” Hugh said lifelessly as he got the animal into its stall, but as he turned to them he grimaced. “Boss, what happened to your face?”

“Suzanne slapped ‘im,” Joe said as he ran his fingers back through his hair.

“Why’d she do that?”

“That’s what I’d like to ask you,” Adam said as his mouth pulled in at the corners. “What did you do out there?”

Hugh ducked his head and scuffed his boot toe over the floor. “I, uh…” his eyes slowly came up, “I kinda kissed her.”

Three faces pinched.

“I take it then that it wasn’t her idea,” Adam said as he leaned forward on his crutches.

“It kinda caught both of us by surprise.”

“Well, that explains why you’re wearin’ her handprint, brother,” Hoss said as he stifled a chortle. “Maybe this’ll learn ya to leave well enough alone.”

“You stay outta this,” Adam said tersely as he shot him a frigid glower then turned his eyes on his little brother. “And don’t you say anything either.”

“I’m not getting into this,” Joe said as he held his hands up defensively.

As his black brows lowered, Adam turned his attention back to Hugh. “I don’t suppose you’d like to tell us what went on, would you?”

Hugh looked first at Hoss then Joe and saved Adam for last. “I think you oughtta ask the lady about that.”

“I fully intend to,” Adam said, and he spun around, nearly losing his balance, and started back to the house.

“Come on, Joe,” Hoss said as he headed after him. “Pa won’t be happy if’n he gits killed.”

As he watched them go, Hugh slumped back against the wall with a deep sigh. He took his hat off and ruffled his hair. He’d really put his foot in it this time, and after what he’d done he doubted if Suzanne Madden would ever speak to or even look at him again, let alone want anything else to do with him. Nope, any chances he may’ve had with the lady he’d probably squashed under his boot heel today, so he might as well just learn to live with it.

ELEVEN

Upon returning home shortly before supper, Ben had been fully apprised of the goings-on in his absence. The meal had been another quiet event and through the whole thing the two oldest Madden women had not looked at the eldest and youngest Cartwright sons.

As entertainment for the children it was decided to take dessert – Hop Sing’s famous gingerbread with spiced, cooked dried apples spooned over top – in the parlor in front of the fire. It was one of Joe’s favorites but tonight he couldn’t seem to get very enthusiastic about it. The younger ones and Hoss, however, were gobbling and chattering and having a fine time.

Adam was sitting on the settee next to Suzanne, and his mind wasn’t on food as he watched her pick at the fragrant cake with her fork. He couldn’t help wondering if she even tasted what little bit made it into her mouth.

“Mama, aren’t you hungry?” Ellis asked as he stood in front of his mother. “Mama?”

Her eyes finally came up, and she smiled at him.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

“No, dear, not really. Did you eat yours already?” He nodded vigorously. “Would you like to have this?” she asked as she held it out to him.

“Only if you don’t want it.”

“You can have it, sweetheart. Mama doesn’t have much of an appetite tonight.”

“Thank you, Mama,” he said and took it and joined his brothers and sisters and Hoss on the hearthstone.

“Mr. Cartwright,” Suzanne started as she came to her feet, “if you’ll please excuse me, I think I’d like to get some fresh air.” She began fanning herself with her lacy handkerchief. “It’s a little warm in here.”

“Of course. It is a lovely night, if a bit chilly,” Ben said with a benevolent smile.

“I won’t stay long. It’s been a long, tiring day, and I want to get to bed.”

Without any further fanfare she floated gracefully across the floor – her shoes lightly clacking – and went out as the front door closed softly behind her.

“Come to think of it, I’m not so hungry myself. Who wants this? It hasn’t been touched,” Adam said as he held out his plate.

“I do,” Royce said as he reached for it.

“Here you go,” and Adam handed it to him.

Royce took it and sat back down. “Me ‘n Hoss can share it,” the boy said as his bright eyes flew to the big man.

“I think that’d be right nice,” Hoss said with a gap-toothed grin.

Adam collected the crutches and came up from the settee. “Now that it’s been mentioned, I think I could use some fresh air myself.”

“All right, son, but don’t you stay too long.”

“I won’t, Pa,” Adam said with a wink and started for the door.

Suzanne stood under the porch lamp rubbing her arms up-and-down against the night’s chill. She was enrobed in its golden light which did nothing toward warming her or brightening her mood. Thoughts still whirled inside her head as she stared into the deepening blackness, and tried fitting together the pieces of the events of the last few weeks. She didn’t think she had ever been as thoroughly confused in all her life as she was right now.

The door opened then hesitantly closed but her concentration was focused ahead of her and not behind. Thumps more than actual footsteps drew steadily closer to her, but she still wasn’t aware when they stopped.

“Pa was right. It is a beautiful night.”

Her head came around quickly, and she was greeted by compassionate, understanding dark hazel eyes, the gentle light sparkling in them.

“Yes, it is.”

There was a pause between them as she turned her attention back to the sky and his remained on her. The quiet hung about them like a piñata that someone was afraid to break, and he could almost discern the thoughts skittering over her face like transient shadows.

“We still haven’t talked about what happened between you and Hugh. You’ve avoided me all day like one would a biting dog.”

“There’s really nothing to talk about,” she said, refusing to look at him.

“I think there is. Suzanne, when you lose somebody you care so much for it leaves a large hole. Losing Raul left one in your life, and I think you need to fill it. You’re a fine, warm, caring woman, and you need somebody to share your life with.”

“I have my children.” She still wouldn’t look.

“You know what I mean. Someday those children will grow up and start families of their own, and then where will you be? More alone than you are now even if they visit you every day.” He put a hand on her shoulder and felt the muscles stiffen. “Suzanne.”

“He was there and he…” Her head dropped, and she wiped the tears from her eyes with the handkerchief. “And then you were…” and her voice fell off again.

“I see. He kissed you, so you slapped me.” He shook his head in bewilderment. “It makes perfect sense.”

“Oh, Adam, please,” she said brusquely as she turned a sharp gaze on him.

“Suzanne.” He took her arm and turned her to face him. “Do you love him?”

“I hardly even know him.”

“All right, more to the point, do you love me?”

Jarred by his candor, she just looked at him in stunned silence.

“The best thing is just to take a look at it, take it apart and examine it piece by piece. What did you feel when you kissed me, and how did you feel when Hugh kissed you?”

“I haven’t thought about any of it much. I guess I’ve tried not to, and after today I… I just can’t be sure of anything.” She took a deep, shuddering breath, and her shoulders slumped. “Oh, Adam, why do things have to get so complicated? Why can’t things be simple once in a while?”

He pulled her to him and held her. “I don’t know. I guess that’s just the way life is.” He rested the side of his face against her head and felt the silken hair beneath his cheek. “I’m sorry I don’t have a better answer than that, but I don’t think anybody does.”

“Hold me. Please just hold me and let me forget for a short time.” Her arms squeezed around him, and she could hear his heart beating under her ear. If she closed her eyes maybe she could imagine that it was Raul. Her eyelids lowered, and she let her mind drift away with the rhythm of his breathing. A face began to form, and she could see it as plain as day, but it wasn’t who she expected. Her hold tightened around Adam and the saddle tan eyes wouldn’t let go of her.

Hugh stood on the end of the bunkhouse porch closest to the big house, unmoving in a dark patch near the wall so as not to be seen. The words they had been saying were soft and lost in distance before they reached his hearing, but motions and gestures and actions had reached him with their full meaning intact. He leaned until his back rested flat against the rough boards and continued unmoving. The joy he’d felt when he held the woman in his arms shattered as a piece if glass would when dropped, and his heart thought to go along for the ride. The better man had won the prize, and even with as much as he liked the boss, it didn’t help or make it any easier to take. He’d lost, and that was it, plain though not so simple.

*******

Adam sat on the hearthstone, his face lit by a faint glow as he stabbed at the banked fire with the poker. His injured foot was propped up in front of him, and his hands were tented and resting against his pensive mouth. The room was dark save for the warm arc of light that held his attention and extended no farther than the fireplace. His mind was so jumbled it held sleep at bay and wouldn’t allow it to take hold. The rest of the household had fallen under its spell and it was quiet.

Why was it something as wonderful as a woman could cause such upheaval in a man’s life? How could such exquisite creatures of delicate form and grace render a man totally speechless and incapable of coherent thought? He’d seen hardened cowhands covered in trail dust reduced to jibbering fools at the flutter of an eyelash or a flirtatious toss of the head. One side of his mouth crooked as he recalled the lengths to which Hank Myers had been willing to go to get Miss Abigail to marry him. And what about last year when Sam Brooker shot himself in the foot while trying to impress Jill Winters with his gun prowess? He shook his head and snorted. “Women,” he said half under his breath. “Can’t live with ‘em and can’t live without ‘em.” He laid the poker aside as the soft light grew and extended to the settee.

“I see I’m not the only one who can’t sleep,” Suzanne said as she glided down the stairs, a long red braid draped over one shoulder and highlighting her pale yellow robe.

She was in deed a beautiful woman and a fine woman, and he plainly understood why Hugh had done what he had.

“Do you mind if I join you?” she asked as she came to stand behind the blue chair and leaned her arms on the back of it. “I’m too restless to stay in that room any longer.”

“Not at all, I’d like the company. And pardon me for not getting up.”

“I forgive you,” she said as she sat down, but then her face grew solemn, and her eyes went to her hands as they knotted in her robe sash. “I only hope you can forgive me?”

As he took in her elegant features a solitary eyebrow lifted. “If you mean for the little episode on the porch when you got back from the house, it’s in the past and that’s where it’ll stay. Besides, it’s not like I haven’t had that happen before, and this was for a good cause.”

Her eyes lifted, and her head tilted to one side. “You baffle me, Adam Cartwright. A lot of men would have been furious with me.”

“Well, I’m not a lot of men.”

“No, you’re not.” She leaned her head back and kept her steady gaze locked on him. “And any woman would be fortunate to have you love her and to love you in return.”

“But you don’t.” he said candidly.

“Must you be so plainspoken? It’s more than a trifle unsettling.”

“It’s the best way to get at the root of a problem, I’ve always found. Do we have a problem?”

“I keep asking myself that, and it’s why I couldn’t get to sleep.” She sighed heavily, and her hands wrung even more. “Is it all right if I say what’s on my mind?”

“Please do.”

“To be perfectly honest, I’m not exactly sure what I’m feeling about you or Mr. Kelso. Everything is just so… mixed up. You are a special man, Adam, and I feel blessed to know you and have you in my life, and Mr. Kelso, from what I’ve come to know, is a good man, but… I guess I’ll always compare whoever I’m with to Raul. We were married for twelve years and, while they weren’t always what little girls dream of, they were good.”

“But Raul is dead, and it’s time for you to move on. I have an idea that he’d tell you that if he were able. As much as we wish we could we can’t live in the past, no matter how pleasant or good. Don’t pin the rest of your life to what once was.”

“You’re a fine one to talk. Isn’t that what you’re doing with that Dayton woman?”

His back straightened, and his eyes narrowed. “How do you know about that?”

“I heard your brothers talking out in the hall the other day. I’m not one to eavesdrop, but I couldn’t help listening. I think before you try settling other people’s lives for them you need to take care of your own. You’re just as important as anyone else; don’t you know that by this time? Or is it that you just don’t think you are? Well, let me be the first to tell you that some of us don’t agree with you, especially your family.”

Some of the rigidness left him and eased the harsh lines around his mouth.

She got up and moved to the hearth and sat down in front of him. Taking his hands in hers, she let her eyes drift over his face, and a smile tipped their corners. “Why do you think they were so destroyed when they thought they had lost you? I can’t imagine anything more shattering to your father than to think he’d lost a son.” Reaching out, she placed her hand against his cheek. “And I don’t want to imagine what he saw when he looked into the back of that wagon.”

Surprise looked back at her.

“Oh, I know all about that too. Your brothers do like to talk, even without being asked, I’ve found.”

“You’re a special woman, Suzanne, and I’m so glad I brought you here, even if you don’t love me.”

“Now who told you that?”

“You just did.”

“I guess I did do that, didn’t I…? But that can easily change, so we’ll just have to wait and see.”

“I guess we will.”

They settled into the silence and watched the golden flames flicker and dance as if alive. For now they would simply enjoy one another’s company and the peace of the big house. There would be plenty of time later for choices to be made.

TWELVE

For the entire first half of the day, Hugh Kelso drifted around like a ghost. He spoke when spoken to and his answers consisted of as few syllables as he could get by with. He’d already pretty much made up his mind – he now just had to work up the guts to go through with his decision.

“Hugh, what in tarnation do you think you’re doin?” Elroy Gillis shouted. “I’m no steer!”

“Huh,” Hugh said dully. “What?” He looked at the branding iron he held, heat vapors still rising from the business end of it. It hovered perilously close to Elroy’s backside and another inch would mark him with the pine tree brand for life. Hugh pulled it back and made no effort to hide his embarrassment. “Sorry about that Elroy.”

“You’d o’ been a whole heap sorrier if you’d used that thing on me. Now put it where it belongs, and let’s get this done.”

With a scowl of consternation, Hugh placed it against the calf’s hip and the air was filled with searing flesh and burning hair. Untrained noses would have wrinkled but the men were accustomed to it and paid no attention.

“All right, there ya go,” Elroy said as he released the small animal, and, with a persuasive nudge, it scampered off to join the others. Tugging his work gloves off he stepped over to Hugh who had slipped back into the other world he’d been in all morning.

“Hugh, I don’t know what’s got into you, but you’d best yank yourself out of it before you do somethin’ really stupid, like brandin’ ol’ Mort or a Cartwright.”

Hugh just stared past him – hearing little of what he was saying – then something snapped in the back of his head. He slammed the iron down next the fire and started off with a purpose driven stride to get his horse.

“Hey, where’re you goin? We’ve still got lots o’ work to do.”

“I’ve got somethin’ that needs takin’ care of,” Hugh said as he continued on without looking back.

“Well, can’t it wait?”

“Nope, it’s gotta be now, before I back out and hate m’self for the rest o’ my natural life.”

Elroy crossed his arms over his thick chest and watched in annoyance as Hugh kept right on going.

*******

Dinner was just being placed on the table by Hop Sing and Sarah – who had become his greatest helper – when someone began pounding franticly at the front door. Ben and Adam, sitting in their customary chairs at the fireplace, and Suzanne, who was on the settee with Libby and Irene, were instantly jolted. Joe was coming down the stairs from freshening up – followed by the boys – and his eyes went straight that way.

“Somebody better see who that is before they take the door off its hinges,” Ben said as he leaned forward.

“I’ll git it,” Hoss said as he pulled himself up from the low table. “Why does this always havta happen right at eatin’ time?”

No one moved and breaths were held as the urgency of the pounding increased. It felt like it took forever for Hoss to get there and open the door.

“Hugh, what’re…?”

Without invitation and before Hoss could finish, Hugh rushed in past him.

“Hugh, what is it?” Ben asked as he came out of the chair.

“I came to see Miss Suzanne,” Hugh said as he swiped his hat from his head.

Suzanne put her daughter down and stood to face him.

“I need to know how she feels. I was gonna just collect my pay and ride out, but I ain’t gonna make it that easy.”

Using the chair for support, Adam got up.

“I ain’t never quit on nothin’, and this ain’t the thing to start with,” Hugh rambled on. “Ma’am, if you’ll let me, I’d like to call on you from time to time. I know I ain’t much to look on, not like some folks,” and his eyes shot briefly to Adam, “and I ain’t got that much money, but I don’t drink… much, and I’m a hard worker, and I got respect for women. My pa would o’ whooped me to death if I hadn’t. But I ain’t such a bad catch, if you ain’t so sensitive to my smellin’ like cows so much, and I do like younguns.” His eyes flitted from child to child then he began nervously running his hands around the brim of his hat. “Well…, I said my piece and probably made as big o’ fool outta m’self as I ever have, but… you’re worth it. You’re worth it all, and I’d do it again…. Ma’am, Mr. Cartwright and everybody, I’ll leave you to your dinner, and I won’t bother you any more.” He gave a polite nod to them then backed out and was gone.

Hoss pushed the door together then turned to them with complete puzzlement. “Well, whadaya know.”

Hugh stalked across the yard toward the barn where he had left his horse ground tied, his hands knotted at his side. “Danged idgit,” he grumbled. “Just what in creation did you think you was doin’? She belongs to the boss now.”

“Mr. Kelso! Mr. Kelso!”

The familiar voice assaulted him from behind, and he spun around, nearly swallowing his tongue. Suzanne was running toward him, and he wanted to bolt and get the heck out of there, but his legs steadfastly refused to comply. He gulped as she stopped in front of him so close that he could smell her hair, and it bore the scent of soap.

“Did you honestly mean what you said?”

“Yes, Ma’am, every word, though, I… I don’t ‘spect…” he stammered as his head dropped.

“I would like it very much if you would call on me.”

His head jerked up, and the warm smile she wore, and the way the sunlight caught in her eyes made his breathing hesitate. “But ain’t you the boss’ girl?”

“I’m not anyone’s girl, and Adam and I are good friends.”

“You ain’t just sayin’ that?”

“No, Mr. Kelso, I’m not just saying that. I would be honored and pleased to have you call, and come to supper.”

Everything around them stopped as their eyes connected. For now, nothing else mattered except each other.

“Don’t just stand there like a tree. Kiss ‘er.” Vin Walsh said as he walked past them on his way to the tool shed without looking at them or breaking stride.

Hugh watched him go then his gaze returned to that wonderful face. He peeled his gloves off and let them fall at his feet. His hands floated on either side of her cheeks as if to touch her would break the spell, then they felt the smooth skin and it was magic. His head lowered as did their eyelids as their lips met, and he found himself lost in the most complete bliss he had ever known.

All the indecision and confusion dissolved in this one kiss, and Suzanne knew, no one had to tell her, she just knew. The one yesterday had caught her by surprise and off balance, but this one told her of the possibilities. As she pulled her head back and looked deep into those mesmerizing saddle tan eyes and ran her fingertips along the strong, stubbled jaw the song of the birds grew sweeter. “Hugh,” she said softly.

They didn’t notice Hoss and the children watching them from the cracked front door and the two remaining Cartwright sons from the study window.

*******

After dinner the youngest Cartwright sons began getting ready to head back out to help the men with the branding. Joe remembered that he had forgotten something in his room so he decided to go get it while Hoss waited for him by the front door. As he cleared the top landing he realized he wasn’t alone.

“Sarah.” His eyes shot back toward the parlor. “I thought you were downstairs.”

“No, I…,” she took a few tentative steps closer to him. “I thought we needed to talk…. It’s wonderful with Mother and Mr. Kelso, isn’t it?”

“It certainly is. She’s been alone too long. I mean, I know she has you and your brothers and sisters, but a woman needs something else, and your mother’s not any different.”

“No, she isn’t.” She came still closer, “and neither am I.” She touched the back of his hand.

“I… I thought you hated me?”

“I could never hate you…. Joe, would you kiss me?”

He gulped down a breath, and his eyebrows shot up his forehead. “What?”

“I can make you forget all about that Hellman girl.” She reached out and tenderly rubbed his cheek.

“Sarah,” he grasped her hand and pulled it away, “I don’t think this is such a good idea.”

“Why not? You’re a man, and I’m a woman.”

“You’re a child,” he blurted without really thinking about it.

“I’ll be fifteen next month,” she said sharply as she jerked her hand away. “I heard that Tessa Gentry married when she wasn’t any older.”

“But you’re not Tessa, and I’m eight years older than you.”

“That doesn’t matter when two people love each other.”

Then came the deadly words.

“But I don’t love you.”

Sarah stood still as stone. Joe could see the pain tracking across her face, and he felt like hitting himself with a poker. Why was did this girl shake him up so? It wasn’t that he hadn’t been pursued before, and he’d found it to be one of the pleasant aspects of courting, not to mention flattering. Sarah, however, unnerved him almost to the point of distraction.

Tears glittered in her sad honey brown eyes then she whirled and went back into the bedroom and slammed the door. He leaned back hard against the wall and pushed his hat back, releasing an unruly dark shock.

“I’ve gotta find out how Adam handled this.”

“Joe, let’s go!” Hoss shouted from downstairs.

With a shake of his head, he pushed himself away from the wall and started down. Could things possibly get any more out of shape?

*******

Adam was in bed – propped with the pillows – reading a dog-eared copy of Shakespeare’s “The Taming of the Shrew” when someone knocked at the door. His forehead creased as he laid it aside. He should be getting used to late callers by this time since a night hadn’t gone by that he hadn’t had at least one, usually Pa.

“Come on in,” he said with resignation.

The door opened and Joe – already dressed for bed – stepped inside.

“I’m not disturbing you, am I?”

“No, I’m just reading a little before I put out the lamp. What’s on your mind?” Adam could tell by his brother’s hesitant manner that something was worrying him, and he had a pretty good idea what it was. “Sit down.”

Joe pulled the ornately carved cherry wood rocker closer to the side of the bed and eased into it.

“Treat her like a woman?”

“What?” Joe said as his head jerked up.

“Sarah. That is why you came in here, isn’t it? You want some pointers on how I handled things with Amelia.”

“I don’t know why I didn’t ask before this.”

“I do. You thought you could take care of it yourself, and I can’t imagine the infamous Joe Cartwright asking his big brother how to handle a woman.”

“Ha, ha, very funny, but this isn’t funny. You don’t know what she did today…. She asked me to kiss her.”

“And did you?”

“No,” Joe said adamantly, “of course I didn’t…, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t think about it.”

“Maybe you should have.”

“What?”

“Joe, she’s trying real hard to be a grown up young lady. When have you looked at her, I mean, really taken a good, hard look at her?”

Joe gulped and his nose wrinkled sickly.

“I see that you have. Joe, I don’t really know anymore about a woman than other men, but having had the experience of being the object of a young woman’s first infatuation gives me a leg up on most. Just treat her like you would any other lady. Pull her chair out for her at the table, flatter her, make her feel important and special.” He snorted. “In other words, just do what comes naturally for you when you’re around a female.”

“But, doggone it, Adam; she shakes me up so…. She’s beautiful and so young and so…” He ruffled his hair and looked away from his brother’s penetrating eyes.

“Forward?”

“That’s the word for it, all right,” Joe said as his eyes shot back. “But, honestly, after what happened with Tristine I didn’t think she’d want anything to do with me.”

“When have you ever known a woman to give up on what she wants, especially when it’s a man?”

“But what do I do? If I try courting Sarah her mother’ll have my scalp, and if I try going back to Tristine she’ll probably just take out a gun and shoot me.” He shook his head. “And if I don’t her father and brothers’ll most likely do it for her. Either way I’m dead.”

“Just give it time, Joe,” Adam said as he leaned forward and patted him on the knee. “It’ll work itself out. Things like this usually do.”

“Yeah,” Joe started dejectedly, “with one or more of those involved winding up killed.”

“It’s not all that bad,” Adam said with a snicker and gave him another pat. “Now why don’t you go on to bed? After a good night’s sleep I don’t think things will look so bleak in the morning.”

With a jagged sigh, Joe got up and dragged the chair back over to its place by the window. “I hope you’re right, because right now my future doesn’t look so promising.”

“I am.”

Joe went to the door and opened it then turned back to his brother. “Thanks, Adam. I really needed to talk.”

“What’re brothers for? Good night, Joe.”

“Good night,” then Joe went out and pulled the door quietly together.

An affectionate smile turned Adam’s finely sculpted mouth as he sat with his hands clasped in his lap. It had been a while since Joe had come to him seeking advice and it felt good. The smile broadened into a toothy grin, and he shook his head. He looked at the book dispassionately then picked it up and placed it on the bed table then blew out the lamp and eased down into the bed. As he settled the covers over his chest and his head sank into the pillow he let his mind go back to the affair with Amelia Banning. In spite of what Joe might believe, especially now, it had been enjoyable, and he wouldn’t change it even if he could. With a light titter, he turned onto his side facing the window and let the remembrance of that last evening at Tabler’s lead him into sleep.

THIRTEEN

As the family and their guests were sitting down to dinner Joe held Sarah’s chair out for her.

“Thank you, Mr. Cartwright,” she said coolly, and her hardened eyes stayed directed away from him, “but I can do it for myself. I don’t need your help.”

“Sarah,” Suzanne scolded.

“It’s all right, Mrs. Madden,” Joe said as he moved to his own chair. “I guess I asked for that.”

Sarah sat and jerked her chair up to the table, but she had no further words for him.

Joe had been the perfect gentleman when he wasn’t out working, but the girl wasn’t the slightest bit inclined to acknowledge his efforts. She refused to look at him and talked around him and treated him like he didn’t exist. He really couldn’t blame her, and he didn’t, but it was like being in the house with a little chunk of ice, and he worried about frostbite.

The meal went smoothly and even Sarah got involved in the conversation as long as he kept his mouth shut. When he had something to say the snubbing picked up again. His meal had less taste than sand, and he was glad when they finally left the table. As they were heading into the parlor and before anyone was seated someone came knocking at the front door.

“Now what?” Ben said as his shoulders dropped.

Joe gladly got the door just to get away from Sarah, even if only a few feet separated them. “Jake,” he said as he opened it back. “What is it?”

“Judd Hellman is here with his daughter. He wants to see all of you, and he’s got three men with him.”

Joe looked past him then back at his father. “It’s Leif, Pat and Judd Jr.”

“Now why would he bring his sons?” Ben said as he moved closer to Joe.

“He didn’t say Mr. Cartwright,” Jake said as he stepped inside and glanced at his oldest sister, “but I can tell that they’re itchin’ for something.”

“They’ve always been protective like o’ their big sister,” Hoss said, “an’ I figger they ain’t too happy about what happened t’other day.”

“Oh, boy,” Adam said as he came around the back of the settee. “This should prove interesting.”

“Well, I might as well see what they want? The rest of you stay here, I’ll let you know when it’s all right to come out,” Ben said as he started forward. His sons began to protest but he froze them with a look then went outside.

Judd Hellman sat astride a stocky blue roan with his daughter directly to his left, and his sons to his right and back. Ben could instantly see what Jake had been talking about when he saw the boys, and the guns on their hips didn’t exactly settle him any. They had acquired their father’s fine Irish temper as well as his looks but little of his levelheaded judgment that usually prevailed, if not always, where family was concerned.

“Morning, Judd.”

“Ben,” Judd said with a polite nod.

“What brings you and your family out this way?” Ben asked cordially.

“Oh, let’s stop with the dodgin’ around it,” Leif, the oldest at eighteen, said impatiently.

“Yeah, Pa, we wantta see the girl that broke our sister’s heart,” seventeen-year-old Judd Jr. snapped.

“And I’d like to have a session with Joe myself,” Pat, the baby and sixteen, said as his mouth set.

“All right, that’ll be enough out of the three of you. I’ve had enough trouble with your sister, and I won’t take any from you. I was against you coming in the first place,” Judd said commandingly as his hard gaze set on his boys.

“Just why are you here, Judd?”

“I promised you an apology the other night, Ben, and it’s taken this long to convince somebody that it would be a bad idea not to. Of course, it had to come from her mother who’s always been better with the girl than me.” He shot a stern look at his daughter. “We do the best we can raising our children, but when they’re headstrong like mine.”

“I know what you mean,” Ben said then turned back to the house. “Joseph, it’s all right.”

The two families paraded out – Adam bringing up the rear – and came to stand in front of the riders. Jake stayed close to Sarah, and Joe’s brothers stood protectively on either side of him.

“All right, Tristine,” Judd said and nodded her forward.

Tristine eased the golden palomino away from her father’s horse. Her eyes darted contemptuously from Sarah to Joe and back. “Joe, I… I behaved like a spoiled child, and I’m sorry…. You too, Miss Madden.”

“Is that all, young lady?” Judd asked firmly.

“I lied and said some terrible things about both of you and it…” Tristine glanced back at her father, “it won’t happen again. I’d understand, Joe…, if you didn’t want to see me anymore.”

“We’ll, see,” Joe said.

While the adults talked Sarah became aware if three sets of dusky eyes set on her, even though she tried appearing coolly indifferent. The handsomest young men she thought she had ever seen they were almost triplets they looked so much alike and it was obvious which parent they got their looks from. Her eyes kept darting furtively to them, and she even gave them a coy smile. She could see their interest growing and the smallest one nearly fell out of his saddle when he leaned too far forward. She coquettishly put a hand to her mouth to smother a giggle as her eyes flitted tantalizingly away.

Adam could see what was going on and knew that his little brother was about to get off that hook he had been so uncomfortably on. And this was a good thing because it would give him and Pa and Hoss some relief.

As Judd Hellman and his family started out of the yard, his sons remained twisted at the waist with their eyes riveted to Sarah until they disappeared past the barn.

*******

In four days it would be April and the house was finally complete. All that remained was for the clapboard siding to be whitewashed and the porch swing to be hung. Other than those minor details it was ready to receive the family that would call it home.

All four Cartwrights and the entire Madden clan stood before it while Hugh Kelso waited in the buckboard.

“Well, as soon as we get your furniture you’ll be ready to move in,” Adam said as he stepped forward away from the others. He had finally gotten off the crutches but still favored that foot.

“It’s a wonderful house, Adam,” Suzanne said, her hands on the backs of her two youngest sons. She bit her lower lip and it was obvious that she was trying not to cry. “You and your family and all your men worked so hard to make a dream a reality.”

“I’m afraid I haven’t been very industrious lately,” Adam said as he rubbed his left leg.

“But you did design it,” Ben said as he came next to his oldest son and put a firm hand on his shoulder. “And it is a splendid design, just right for a growing family.”

“Can we go in, Mama?” Libby asked from her perch in Hoss’ arms.

“I don’t see why not,” Ben boomed.

“Why not, Mam?” Jake said and stepped closer to his mother. “It’s finished and it’s yours now.”

“I think we should all go in,” she said then turned around. “And that includes you, Mr. Kelso.”

“Don’t you think…?” Hugh started.

“You worked on it in your free time just like everyone else, and you deserve some recognition too. Now I can be a very stubborn woman when I want to be, and I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Hugh said with a wry expression and got out and joined them.

“Are you comin’ too, Hoss?” Libby asked.

“I sure am,” he said with a broad grin. “Somebody’s gotta carry you.”

“Oh, that’s right.”

Adam went up onto the flat front porch and opened the front door. “And I think Suzanne should be the first to go inside.”

Everybody agreed, and she was given the privilege of crossing the threshold first, followed by her children. Hugh was compelled by an aqua glance to come in next then Ben and Hoss with Libby came in after him. Joe was bringing up the rear when he leaned close to Adam, who was waiting for everyone else to get inside.

“Have you heard about the Hellman boys?” Joe said barely above a whisper.

“What about ‘em?” Adam asked with a quizzical frown.

“Word has it they’re fighting each other for the privilege of seeing Sarah. I think she can expect to be wooed by more than one Hellman.”

“Good for Sarah,” Adam said with a snicker then slapped a hand on his brother’s back. “How does it feel to a free man again?”

“I’m not exactly sure,” Joe said glumly.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“I wonder what these boy’s intentions are?”

“I wouldn’t worry about it too much,” Adam said with a playful sparkle to his dark eyes. “Sarah can take care of herself. I mean, she handled you all right, didn’t she?”

“Just what does that mean?”

“She’s a woman, and I think you can figure out the rest on your own, you don’t need me for everything. Now let’s join the others. And if you ever need help with a woman again you just let me know.” He gave his younger brother a smack against the chest then went into the house.

“That’ll be the day,” Joe said and, pushing his hat forward, followed after him.

THE END

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