Lost
by
Janice Sagraves

ONE

Adam Cartwright sat on the settee before the fire cleaning his shotgun in preparation for morning. As soon as it was light enough and he got one of Maggie’s good breakfasts under his belt he and Chris would head out after turkey for their Thanksgiving feasts. He ran a rod with a cloth on the end of it first in one barrel then the other. A hunter was only as good as his firearm, his father had always taught him and his brothers, and if you took care of it, it would take care of you. Many a man had been killed or maimed because of a misfiring weapon simply because it had not been properly maintained, and he wasn’t going to let that happen. Besides, Pa would come back and give him a necessary talking to if he did. His finely sculpted mouth turned at the corners as he visualized it. There were good and valid reasons to die, but carelessness wasn’t one of them.

*******

The morning sun streaked the late autumn sky with crimson tinged with the threat of snow. There were already several inches on the ground, not a whole lot as many Novembers had seen in these parts and everyone figured it was only a matter of time until the heaven’s opened up. Temperatures had plummeted through the night and were doubtful to rise but little through the day. The summer songs of birdlife had been replaced with a cold silence that could freeze a human being to the bone simply from the sound of it and filled the stillness with the advance of encroaching winter.

Maggie O’Shea was clearing the table as Adam prepared to head out. She had been with the Cartwrights now for close to a month, and she didn’t for one second regret leaving Bangor to come here. Both her parents had worked for the Cadences so it was only natural that she had when she turned fifteen. She had known Miss Angelica since she was a child and helped in her rearing, and now she would help with the young woman’s own child. She glanced toward the parlor side of the big ell-shaped room and hid a smile then gathered up two empty bowls and went into the kitchen with them.

“Do you really have to do this?” Angelica Cartwright, now in the fourth month of her pregnancy, and just now beginning to show it, said as she watched her husband putting his coat on. “We have chickens and there’s ham in the smokehouse. A turkey isn’t mandatory.”

“No,” he said as he buttoned his coat, “but Thanksgiving just can’t be Thanksgiving without a turkey. We had a fine big tom last year, and I’d like to find another one for our first Thanksgiving together in our own home. Would you like that?”

She put her arms around him and looked into his dark hazel eyes. “It doesn’t matter. As long as I have you with me it doesn’t matter at all. And Maggie can work magic with anything.” She pulled his head down and laced her fingers in his heavy raven black hair. “With you sitting next to me I probably won’t taste anything anyway.”

“It’s every man’s duty to put food on the table and take care of his family. When I married you I took on that responsibility, and I’m not one bit sorry.”

“But you still don’t have to go out there on a day like this after what we don’t really need. We’ll do all right.” Her lips moved tantalizingly closer to his. “You’re all I’ll ever want or need.”

“That reminds me. Before I go, I’ve got something for you.” He reached into his right coat pocket and took out a small box tied with a thin red ribbon. “Happy birthday, sweetheart,” he said as he held it up before her.

“That’s not for three days yet,” she said as she looked dubiously at it.

“I know, but I wanted to give it to you now while it’s quiet and just you and me. With the holidays coming we could find ourselves hip deep in guests and family.” His eyes glittered in the glow of the small milk glass oil lamp on the table by the door. “Go on and open it.”

She took it and stepped back from him. Carefully, she undid the ribbon and let it drop then removed the lid. Inside, its chain coiled around it, was an intricately scrolled, silver locket. Taking it out, she let the box fall and simply looked at the wonderful thing. “Oh, Adam, it’s the most splendid thing I’ve ever seen.”

“I had it made especially for you by a silver smith in Carson City. There’s no other like it just like there’s no other like you. Look inside.”

She couldn’t miss the little boy eagerness alive in his ruggedly handsome face. Delicately, she did as he had told her and found – nestled inside – a lock of black hair. Running her fingertips over the silky curl the sensation ran straight to her soul and tears burned in her deep violet eyes. Snapping it shut, lest she lose the precious memento, she then looked at him.

“I’ll cherish this for as long as I live.”

Taking it from her, he moved around behind her and fastened it about her neck and it draped itself over her full bosom. She could feel him close behind her and then his lips against her nape, and she couldn’t stand it anymore. Whirling to face him, she succumbed to the desire to kiss him, and she felt herself pressed close to him. Her heart beat as one with his and their shared love for one another ran through her like a mountain stream, sweet and pure. Then she kissed the lobe of his left ear. “I love you,” she whispered.

He squeezed her tighter and kissed the side of her neck and it sent icy chills racing down her spine. What had she done to deserve such happiness with such a man? She nibbled his ear and heard him chuckle then he released her and stepped back.

“I really do have to get going,” he said as he took his hat from the rack and put it on. “The days aren’t as long as they were and getting shorter all the time. Chris is probably already waiting for me.” He touched her cheek and his hand lingered. “We’ll probably be back before dark. And if we’re not I don’t want you waiting up, do you hear me?”

“You don’t mind if I worry, do you?”

“I’ve been tramping around in the woods since I was a boy, and I won’t be alone.” He gave her a quick kiss then retrieved his shotgun from where he had propped it against the wall. “I’ll get you the biggest gobbler I can find. And I’ll even share the wishbone with you.”

He gave her a peck on the tip of the nose then jerked the sturdy door open and went out onto the porch. She stood in the doorway and watched him as he went down the steps to where Chris McCutcheon waited in the yard with a pack horse.

“Both of you be careful,” she said as she stepped onto the porch.

“We will.”

“I’ll watch after ‘im, ma’am.”

“I know you will.”

“Now you’d best get back in the house, it’s cold a whiz out here.”

“I will when I can’t see you any longer.”

Adam gave her a wink and mouthed ‘I love you’ so that Chris couldn’t see then they started out toward the pines that rimmed in the clearing. She ran her hands along her arms as a biting gust caught her and disturbed the dark brown curls piled atop her head.

“They’ll be all right, Miss Angelica,” Maggie said in her hearty Irish brogue as she came to stand with her mistress. “The men folk out here are a lot more rugged than they are back in Bangor, and they read the weather the way we read a book. I shouldn’t worry if I were you. Now you come on back into the house like Mr. Adam said.”

But Angelica stood her ground. She had told him that she would stand there until he left her sight, and she wouldn’t go back on that. As they reached the trees, Adam turned and waved to her and smiled then he and Chris melded into the snow dusted evergreens along with the horse.

“Now, Miss Angelica, would ya?”

Angelica heaved a sigh of resignation then reluctantly turned around. “All right, Maggie.”

Angelica went in but Maggie looked after the hunters and said a silent prayer for their safety then followed her mistress in and closed the door.

*******

Angry gray clouds rolled and tumbled down from the mountains on their way to the lower elevations. They raced - heavily laden with snow – across the tops of the aged Ponderosas that had seen many others just like them through the countless ages. An artic wind whistled and blew in their wake and seemed to be pushing them along in their flight. Before long they would reach their destination and when they did, anyone and anything caught in the open could suffer the consequences for being so.

TWO

Adam and Chris made their way along a flat piece of snow-covered ground, shotguns held in the crook of elbows and the younger man leading the big liver chestnut brought to tote their game back home. Tom turkeys were large birds usually weighing in at about eighteen pounds; though the one Adam had bagged the previous year had been much larger.

Boots and hooves crunched as they moved on beneath the canopy of the gunmetal sky. A brisk breeze tussled in Chris’ caramel-colored hair at the back of his head, and he shivered and turned his coat collar up even more about his neck.

“Durn, but it’s cold,” Chris said as he tugged his hat down around his ears.

“You didn’t havta come, you know.”

“Yeah, I did. You and your missus are gonna have your own turkey, and I wanted to get one for my men.”

Adam hid his amusement. Chris took his position as foreman very seriously, and though he was barely into his twenties, he was handling the job like a man seasoned to it. Adam wasn’t the least sorry that he had offered it to Chris McCutcheon, and he knew that The Angel could only fare better for his choice.

Dark hazel eyes rose to the threatening sky, and he didn’t like what he saw. It had looked imposing when they left but in the past hour since then it had become downright menacing. “I don’t like the looks of those clouds.”

“You think maybe we oughtta turn back?”

“No, but we’ll keep an eye on it and if it looks like it’s gonna turn bad then we’ll head on back. But for now let’s just concentrate on what we’re out here for.”

“All right, Boss.”

They trudged on, and Adam’s eyes drifted upward again, and he felt his chest tighten.

*******

Angelica’s fatigue that had plagued her since finding herself in the mother-way had pretty much left her, and she found more energy to get things done. She also found that she was starting to enjoy her condition and looking forward to the day when she would bring her blessed little bundle into the world. The cradle that had been one of the many gifts from her father-in-law had been toted out from storage and held a prominent spot in their bedroom. Things were being readied for their baby and it gave the house an atmosphere of anticipation that sometimes sent her into spasms of pure excitement, and Adam could be a perfect pest.

She went into their bedroom – the only one downstairs besides Maggie’s – at the back of the parlor. This bed she felt it was for her to make and this day she had been negligent. Stepping to the big, highly carved walnut bedstead that she shared with her beloved she went about her task, spreading and smoothing the sheets and comforter. But when she picked up his pillow to plump it she stopped and simply looked at it, a soft glow filling her eyes. Gently, she rubbed her hand over the indention left by his head then held it to her face and sniffed the faint scent of the Bay Rum aftershave he always wore. Clutching it tighter, her eyes closed and tears ran from their corners to trickle down her cheeks.

Finally pulling herself from her reverie and drying her face, she finished and went back out into the parlor. Maggie was in the process of dusting the fireplace mantle and didn’t seem to notice her.

“You’re a veritable whirlwind this mornin’,” Maggie said without looking at her as she picked up a cut glass vase and dusted beneath it. “It’ll soon be time for the mid-mornin’ meal. Would ya like anything special?”

“I think some tea and a few of the crumpets you baked this morning will be just fine.”

“Then tea and crumpets it’ll be.”

As she continued with her chore Angelica went to one of the front windows and, parting the draperies, looked out. The ominous sky sent a surge of dread through her that she had to fight hard to stifle. She could almost see the snow hidden within them, and wished she had been able to talk him out of going.

“Miss Angelica, that is the sixth time I’ve caught ya lookin’ out that window since he left.”

“It’s so gray and harsh looking out there.”

“That it is, but I think they’ve both been out in the snow before.” Maggie put her dusting rag down and went to where Angelica still stood looking out. “Now, why don’t ya come into the kitchen, and I’ll fix that tea for ya?” She took Angelica’s arm and began tugging her back. “Come on, girl, this isn’t helpin’ a thing.”

“Maggie.”

“I’ll hear no fussin’ from ya,” Maggie said as he continued pulling her toward the kitchen.

Angelica glanced back as she found herself drug involuntarily away. Maggie could be so bossy at times, but this one she was right, though Angelica would never admit to it.

*******

Maggie sat at the small table in the kitchen across from Angelica thoughtfully sipping her tea and watching. She knew that this young woman she had known for many years had her mind on something other than her meal.

Angelica’s left hand held onto the shiny silver locket, her thumb rubbing absentmindedly over it as the teacup hovered near her lips.

“You’re goin’ to be rubbin’ a hole in it, ya are, and what will your mister be sayin’ about that?”

“Huh?” Angelica said dumbly as her eyes came around.

“Your locket. If ya keep that up you’ll wear it all the way through.”

Angelica looked down at her hand, and her thumb stopped. “Oh.” She released it and paid more attention to the contents of her cup. “I guess my mind was someplace else.”

“That it was, and I know where. You’ve got to stop frettin’ so. He’s been takin’ care o’ himself for a long time, and he’s gotten good at it or he wouldn’t be here. His father raised him to this land, and a father and mother do their best by their children.”

“I suppose…, but I can’t help worrying about him. What if…?”

“Now there’ll be none o’ that. It don’t do any good, and folks are usually wrong anyway.”

“All right, Maggie,” Angelica said as a smile crept over her mouth, “if it’ll make you happy.”

“It will.” Maggie reached out and patted her on the arm. “Now finish your tea and eat. You’re not just takin’ care o’ yourself anymore.”

The smile broadened into a grin and Angelica took a sip then picked up a crumpet, and Maggie was satisfied.

*******

The clouds had stopped their hasty retreat from the mountains and hung in the sky like stones. They had reached where they were going and they were poised to unleash their wrath on the land below.

THREE

As Maggie came to the head of the stairs, she realized that it had become frightfully cold in the parlor. Her nutmeg brown eyes darted to where the front door hung open. With a grunt she hurried down then went outside and found Angelica standing on the porch near the front steps without a wrap.

“Miss Angelica, what’re you tryin’ to do? Do ya want to make yourself and your baby sick? Now ya come back into this house right now like a good girl, and I won’t tell Mr. Adam about this when he gets home.”

Without a word, Angelica turned and started inside, and, giving a final glance to where the men had disappeared into the trees, reluctantly did as Maggie told her.

*******

“That sky is getting nastier by the second.”

“Do you think we oughtta start on back?”

Adam stopped with his eyes directed aloft, and Chris came next to him leading the horse. “Yes, I do,” Adam said as he looked at him. “I didn’t think it would get this bad this quick, but I guess I should have. It isn’t like I haven’t seen it before…. It could let go at any time, and when it does, we’d better hope we’re home. Now turn the horse around and let’s get movin’.”

“All right, Boss.”

*******

Time in the big white ranch house passed slowly and the women kept themselves busy, though Angelica didn’t seem to be doing so well. In the thirty minutes since Maggie had shooed her in from the porch, she had been back to the front parlor windows seven times, her gaze always going to the increasingly hostile sky.

Maggie had been in the kitchen preparing for the following day’s repast, and the scent of cinnamon and nutmeg filled the house. A few lamps still lit from the earlier hours assisted the gloomy light that came in through the windows, and the fire crackled in the grate.

Maggie poked her head out into the dining room and found the front door hanging open again and not a trace of Angelica. “Not again.” She went out onto the porch and troodled her charge back into the house. “This isn’t helpin’ a blessed thing. Now you’re comin’ back into the kitchen with me. I have some apples that need peelin’ and you’re just the one to do it.”

“But Maggie…”

“Don’t ya ‘but Maggie’ me,” she said as she herded Angelica through the dining room. “You’re wearin’ yourself out, and it’s wearin’ me out just watchin’ ya. Now I won’t have no backtalk.”

Angelica found herself hustled into the toasty kitchen, heated by the big iron stove, and parked in a chair at the table and two bowls – one filled with fragrant apples from the cellar – were placed in front of her. A small paring knife was stuck in her hand, and her fingers wrapped around it.

“Now peel,” Maggie ordered. “There’s no sense in ya wearin’ your legs down to the nubbins runnin’ to the windows and outside all the time, it don’t change a thing.” She pushed the girl’s silky dark brown hair back from her face with a gentle hand, and her voice softened. “They’re nice, spicy autumn apples, and if ya want to nip a slice here and there I can’t see that it’ll hurt a thing.”

Angelica’s smile was halfhearted at best as she looked at the woman. “All right, Maggie.”

Maggie went back to the stove and turned. Slowly, the knife cut through the peeling of one of apples and a thin length of red blushed yellow ribbon grew and coiled on the tabletop as the fruit gave up its skin.

Slowly, one bowl filled while the other emptied. Maggie did most of the talking and got little response from Angelica, and when she did get an answer it was of few syllables.

Maggie was mixing lard into flour alternating with cold water with her fingers for pie crust, and Angelica was reducing the apples to slices when someone knocked at the door. The knife found itself hastily dropped then Angelica made a mad dash for the door.

“Miss Angelica,” Maggie said as she wiped her hands on a towel then sprinted after her.

Angelica ran for the front door, her heart pounding like a hammer. She couldn’t understand why Adam would knock and not come right into his own house. Maybe he wasn’t able. Maybe it was Chris. Maybe someone had found him hurt.

Grasping the handle, she jerked it open. “Mother!” and she threw her arms around her mother’s neck.

Mrs. Verina Cadence hadn’t seen her daughter in a couple days, and the response to her arrival was overblown to say the least. “Angelica, dear.” He gray eyes rose to Maggie, who had just come from the dining room.

“Madam Cadence, it’s good you’ve come. Mr. Adam and Mr. McCutcheon have gone huntin’ for turkey.”

“Oh, so that’s it,” Mrs. Cadence said as she held her daughter away from her. “Adam has probably been hunting since before you were born, sweetheart. He’ll be all right.”

“You’ve come for Thanksgiving,” Angelica said as she blinked back the tears. “I forgot about that.”

“And I didn’t come alone.”

Angelica frowned and looked past her and for the first time saw that Adam’s father and brothers and her little sister were standing behind her mother.

“Father Cartwright,” she said as she wiped her cheeks, “I’m so glad you’ve come. Adam will be thrilled when he gets home.” She hugged her father-in-law as he came in behind her mother.

“Well, now, you didn’t think we’d let the first holiday since your marriage go by, did you?” Ben Cartwright said and kissed her on the side of the head. He put his arms around her and could feel his newly acquired daughter trembling. The sky had concerned him as well, as he and his sons headed this way, and now he felt as she did, though he would never let on.

“I doubt if Adam’ll match the turkey he caught last year,” Joe Cartwright said, the lamplight glinting in his emerald eyes. “I’ve never seen one that big.”

“Tasty too,” Hoss Cartwright said and smacked his mouth then sniffed the air. “Cinnamon.”

Angelica had a hug for her brothers-in-law and her little sister. “All of you come in. I didn’t mean to keep you standing out in the cold.” Her attempt at laughter had a false ring to it. “Maggie, why don’t you fix a pot of tea to warm up our travelers? I’m sure they’re properly chilled to the bone.”

“Yes, mum.”

Maggie went back into the kitchen as Angelica went about poking up the fire and chattering away. Looks were exchanged behind her back so that they wouldn’t be seen, but they all sensed her angst and shared in it. The idea of Adam and Chris being out there with the potential of a storm moving in caused unease, but so far things were holding off, and they could only hope that they continued to.

Coats and hats were hung on the stand near the door. The large room was inviting after the long journey in the sharp wind.

“You and Adam have a beautiful home,” Ben said as he stepped farther inside. “It reminds me so much of ours on the Ponderosa,” he snickered, “and I don’t think that’s any accident.”

“We’re happy here. Now, please sit down and make yourselves comfortable,” Angelica said as brightly as she could muster. “It’s a brisk day, and I know you’re all chilled through. I’ll go help Maggie with the tea.”

“No, missy,” Mrs. Cadence said as she took Angelica’s arm, “you sit down, and I’ll help Maggie. We haven’t had a good talk since she came west with us. Now sit yourself down and visit with your family. Carrying a baby can be so tiring.”

“Mother, I…”

“Don’t argue with me, now shoo.”

Mrs. Cadence went on to the kitchen as her daughter did as she had been told. The comforting voices of the men rose up behind her as she went in through the door, and she found the housekeeper filling the kettle from the pump.

“So that’s Mr. Adam’s family,” Maggie said as she put the lid on it, and sat it on the stove. “Mr. Hoss is a beefy lad, and I know those green eyes of the youngest set all the girl’s hearts aflutter, and it’s not a bit hard to see where Adam gets his looks from.”

“She’s not been holding up very well has she?”

“No, mum, and I suppose in her shoes neither one of us would be either. Oh, how she does love that man. But I’ve tried tellin’ her that he knows what he’s doin’, and he and Mr. McCutcheon’ll be all right.”

Mrs. Cadence came to stand in front of her and looked at her straight. “You’ve looked at that sky. Do you believe that?”

Maggie pushed a graying mahogany strand back from her forehead, and her expression went dead solemn. “I pray that I do.”

FOUR

All at once the heavens opened up as if someone was in the process of dumping a huge bag of soft white sand. It was nearly impossible to see and fortunately Adam was close to Chris, who still had hold of the horse’s lead.

Adam reached out and miraculously caught the young man’s arm. “I can’t see a thing!”

“Me neither! I can’t even tell where we are!”

“I can’t even see you!”

“So what do we do now?”

“We keep movin’! If we stop we’re as good as dead! Just hang onto the horse, and I’ll hang onto you!”

“All right, Boss!”

They continued to move but the wind driven snow slowed their progress. It was desirous of taking their breaths away, but they kept their heads ducked against it. Adam held a firm grip on the kid’s arm, and Chris hung onto the halter rope for dear life. They knew that if they got separated from the animal or each other it could spell doom for either or both of them. It could anyway.

The thought that maybe he would never see Angelica again raced through Adam’s mind. He could almost visualize her dressed all in black, her lovely face obscured by a heavy veil and concealing her tears. And what of his child? Was he destined never to see it or even know if it was a boy or a girl? He fought off such notions with fierce tenacity. He wasn’t quite ready to give up just yet.

Chris could feel the Boss’ tight grasp on his arm and it made him feel better just knowing he was close at his side. The relationship he had with the man he worked for was much more like that of brothers than of employer and employee. In the dense white, he could almost let himself believe that Pat, his older brother, had returned to life and was with him.

They plodded on, ever mindful of the situation and the possible outcome. The snow was piling up and making the going even more difficult, but they kept moving. Tomorrow was Thanksgiving, and it would be a cruel joke on those who cared for them if they didn’t make it.

*******

“It’s snowing,” Fiona said innocently.

Suddenly, everyone was gathered at the parlor windows looking out into the white void. It was difficult seeing onto the porch and impossible to see beyond it. The only way to know that the barn sat across the yard was from prior knowledge of its existence, for not even the outline of it could be seen now.

“Adam,” Angelica said barely audibly and clutched the locket.

Mrs. Cadence wanted to reassure her daughter that he would be all right but she couldn’t even convince herself, though she would never let her doubts present themselves to Angelica. She put her arm around her child’s shoulders and could feel their quivering. She looked over at Ben and got the same dismal look of utter powerlessness.

Maggie came out into the dining room with the tea set and cups and the minute she saw the family she knew they were painfully aware of what she had seen from the back kitchen window. Her pragmatic Irish temperament was at odds with itself. One side told her that the likely conclusion of this would not be to anyone’s liking while the other said that she could not give up hope simply because of what she saw outside. She had seen and heard of people surviving the seemingly most hopeless situations, and if anyone could it would be Mr. Adam and Mr. McCutcheon. “Tea,” she said as she sat the tray on the dining table.

For all the reaction she got she might as well have not said anything. She repeated the innocuous little word and it was Joe Cartwright that called their attention to her.

“I really don’t want any,” Angelica said falteringly. “I just want my…” Her teeth clamped into her lower lip and the words ended.

Ben went to his daughter-in-law and could see the fear alive in the depths of her deep violet eyes. He took her face lovingly in his work callused hands and gave his best smile. “I taught Adam what he needs to know to survive, and he’s learned a few things on his own and much from the Paiutes, and his common sense and strong will and desire to get back to you will all work together. As soon as we can we’ll go after him, but for now we have to rely on him.”

She put her arms around him and rested the side of her head against his full chest. He could feel her anguish as she shivered in his embrace, but she didn’t cry. He blinked to hold back his own tears then looked to the girl’s mother, and he could see conveyed in her expression what he dreaded.

Joe and Hoss stood close by as their father held their brother’s wife. They looked at each other but said not a word, which was totally unnecessary. Hoss looked over to Fiona standing next to him, and she looked so small and frightened. He put his arm around her, and she held onto him like a lifeline though she didn’t cry either. She remained strong, a quality that did not lack in the Cadence women.

*******

The wind had changed direction and was now pushing at Adam’s and Chris’ backs and it was all they could do to keep from being blown over. The horse acted as an anchor and cut some of it off but not enough. Since there was no longer so much of a problem with their breaths being sucked away they could hold their heads up a little more but they still couldn’t see where they were going. The fine snow still got into their eyes and noses but it wasn’t as bad.

A violent gust caught them and shoved them forward. As it did, the toe of Chris’ his left boot caught on something buried, and he tripped. Adam tried holding him upright but found himself being pulled down, and the wind wasn’t helping. Chris hit the ground with a thump and a dull grunt. He felt Adam land on top of him and the rope slip from his hand. They were even more at the mercy of the elements now, and no one had to tell him.

Both shotguns were dislodged from where they rested securely in arms but neither fortunately went off. Adam began trying to push himself away from the ground and taking Chris with him.

As Chris came to his feet a burning pain ran through his right ankle, and he fell over against his traveling companion.

“You all right?” Adam shouted.

“My ankle! I think I twisted it! And I lost the horse!”

Adam felt as if he had been run through with an icicle but there wasn’t time to worry about that now. “Well, we’ll just havta do without ‘im! There’s no way to find ‘im in this expect by blind luck! Now let’s get moving again!”

“Which way?”

This froze Adam even more. For all he knew they could have gotten turned around and would be heading the wrong way. “We’ll just go straight from here and hope for the best! That’s about all we can do! Now lean on me and let’s get going!”

They walked on into the churning maelstrom, Chris’ arm over the Boss’ shoulders, and Adam’s around the young man’s waist to help hold him up. They had no idea if they were headed in the right direction or not but they couldn’t just sit down and wait for the storm to break. They had to keep moving, even if it was the wrong way.

*******

Angelica had slipped away from the others and was standing on the front porch looking out into a sea of endless white. Her woolen paisley shawl had been brought over head and around her face and shoulders. It didn’t afford much protection against the cutting wind but she didn’t really feel anything. Her mind was out there with him, and she wished her body could be too. If he was going to freeze to death she wanted to be with him, to go with him. She knew she shouldn’t be thinking that way for it was not just her life anymore, but she couldn’t help how she felt.

“Ma’am, you shouldn’t be out here like this,” Hoss said behind her. “Why don’t you come on back in the house?”

So preoccupied were her thoughts that she hadn’t even heard him come outside. “I’m all right,” she said without looking around.

“No, ma’am, you ain’t. You’re worried just like the rest of us, only a I think a lot more, but it ain’t gonna help nothin’ for you to go an’ make yourself sick. Now why don’t you come on back in with me? You can set down in front o’ the fire.”

“Hoss, what will I do if… if he doesn’t…”

“No, ma’am, we ain’t goin’ there till we know for sure it’s time. They ain’t none of us gonna give up on ‘im. What’d he say if’n he thought you was?”

After nearly a second she finally looked at him, and his gentle blue eyes reached out and inside her to ease her trepidation. It hadn’t completely gone, only one thing could do that, but some of the edge had been taken from it.

“He would scold me,” she said, her voice muffled by the cloth, “and rightfully so. I’ve never given up on him, and this isn’t the time to start.”

Hoss held his arm out to her, and she took it. Her smile was hidden beneath the folds of shawl but it shone in her eyes. He opened the door, and they went in together, the warm loving atmosphere enfolding them as they entered, leaving the wailing storm outside where it belonged.

*******

Two silhouettes huddled together continued making their way though Mother Nature was dead set against them. They moved methodically along – not too fast or too slow – knowing that either one could put an end to their lives. Too slow could cause them to be out there longer than if they sped up and found shelter more quickly but, by the same token, too fast would over exert them and cause them to sweat which would aid in their freezing.

They couldn’t be sure how long they had been out there. Time had become incidental and jumbled into the storm. With the sun blotted out as it was, its progression across the sky could not give any indication of the passing of the day, nor could they tell anything beyond the fact that the white they found themselves engulfed in grew, by small but steady increments, increasingly darker.

The ground rose steadily, and they both knew that if they were heading in the right direction it shouldn’t be. They didn’t have time, however, to stop and survey their surroundings even if they could. There wasn’t time for any dilly dallying with everything hinging on whether they found a place to ride out winter’s temper fit or not.

FIVE

It wasn’t anything other than the sense that something was close by. Adam raised his gaze and squinted against the tiny frozen specks that stung his already numb face and assailed his eyes. He couldn’t be sure if it was real or simply his exhausted mind conjuring up what he wanted to see, but it appeared like one area was more solid than the rest. He veered in its direction, and Chris went along with him without question.

The line shack’s door burst open and two snow encrusted shapes stumbled in. Adam released Chris, who hobbled into the room while the boss slammed the door shut.

Chris plopped down on the edge of the bottom one of the double bunks next to the left wall. Gripping the fingers of his gloves in his teeth, Adam pulled them off and let them drop as he made his way to the fireplace at the back of the building’s single room. At the end of the stone hearth was an ample stack of wood and it was at the center of Adam’s attention.

“I wonder which one this is?”

Adam turned his dark hazel eyes to the letters burned into the roughhewn wooden mantel. “PR. This is the one at Pointer’s Ridge.”

“Pointer’s Ridge?” Chris removed his gloves and blew on his hands and rubbed them together. “We really got blown off course. That’s way off from where we was goin’. But how’d you know it was here? You can’t see nothin’ out there.”

“Does it matter? It’s here, we’re in it, we’ve got plenty of what we need to survive, and the storm can lash around all it wants.” Adam got down on one knee and began laying the fire in the grate. “The only thing that bothers me, though, is Angelica. She’s probably beside herself. She didn’t want me to come out here in the first place.” He snorted and shook his head. “I wish I’d listened.” He got a large pine cone from a crate and lay on top of the logs then took a match from the little tin box nailed to the front of the hearth, and struck it against the stone face. “I’m glad Maggie’s there.” He laid the tiny flame to the cone and watched as it caught. “In a few minutes we’ll have a fire going, and we can warm our bones. In the meantime, why don’t I take a look at that ankle?”

“Oh, it’s okay. I don’t even feel it no more.”

“You will when you start to warm up. Now let’s get that boot off and see what you’ve done to yourself.”

“Won’t it swell up?”

“Probably, but I still wantta take a look.”

“It’s the right one.”

Adam lifted his injured foot and began easing the boot off. Chris’ fingers dug into the bed’s wooden frame and the muscles in his jaws knotted, and his teeth gritted. Adam kept glancing at the boy’s face, and no one had to tell him it was painful, though Chris didn’t let on. He was as delicate as he could be but the leather was cold and wet and didn’t want to let go. He began working it from side to side with a slight twisting motion and finally it came free. Chris let go an expulsion of breath and his body relaxed.

Adam put the boot aside then gingerly worked off the sodden sock. His dense black brows knit in toward the bridge of his nose. The skin around the ankle had discolored to shades of blue and dark purple.

“You think it’s broke?”

“Let’s find out. See if you can move it.”

Chris’ teal eyes shot to his face then went dubiously to his ankle. He swallowed hard, and his hands gripped the side of the bed as he gave it his best effort. They watched in anticipation and the foot moved.

“If it were broken you wouldn’t be able to do that. Now let’s see if I can find something to bind it with,” Adam said as his eyes started running around the room. “I know I had supplies stocked in these for just such an emergency.” He spied a rectangular chest in the corner. “Hold on.”

Adam went to the chest and raised the lid and inside found all sorts of things including rope, candles, canteens, cooking utensils, canned goods, tins of crackers and hardtack, a knife, a bag of jerky, a hatchet and, last but not least, long cloth strips for bandages. He snagged one then went back to Chris.

Propping his friend’s foot on his knee, he began binding the sheeting around it and the ankle. He wanted it tight but not too much. “How’s that?”

Chris winced and stiffened his back as Adam gave a tug. “Not so bad. But you gotta get it some tight or it won’t help.”

“True.” Adam split the long end of it then wrapped it around a couple times and knotted it. Lightly he placed Chris’ foot on the floor. “Better?”

“It could be worse,” he said as he nodded.

“Good. Now why don’t you take off your other boot and sock so I can put ‘em in front of the fire to dry then I can fix us something to eat. I just now realized that I’m hungry.”

“Now that you mention it, so am I.”

He did as the Boss told him, and Adam put them on the hearthstone before the flames then he started scrounging for some food. He went back to the chest and came out with a couple cans of beans and a tin of hardtack.

“This won’t be anything like they’d serve at the White House but it’ll fill our bellies.”

“I don’t care. Right now I could eat an Army mule.”

Adam took out the large knife and went with his loot to the fireplace. He went back to the chest and took out a black cast iron pot with a lid. Chris watched as he opened the cans and dumped their contents into the pot. There was a metal crane attached to the inside of the hearth for hanging kettles from to cook over the open fire. Adam pulled it out and hung the vessel from it then pushed it back over the flames.

“There, that shouldn’t take too long.” Adam took his hat off and riffled his fingers in his heavy hair. “I don’t know about you, but I’m soaked through the skin. I think I’ll get out of some of this before I catch pneumonia, and Angelica never forgives me.” He unbuttoned his coat and peeled out of it.

“Boss, could I ask you somethin’?” Chris said as he began removing some of his own clothing.

“Sure, shoot,” Adam said as he started working off his boots.

“Do you think we’re gonna be up here long before somebody finds us?”

“I don’t know. I guess it kinda depends on the snow, and when it stops and how deep it gets, and a lot of other things.” He snickered and rolled off one sock. “If Pa and Joe and Hoss were here they’d be out lookin’ as soon as it got clear enough to see their way.” He went still and just stared off into space. “I wonder what they’re doing right now. I bet Hop Sing’s gonna put on a feed that’ll keep even Hoss happy…. I wonder who’ll get the turkey this year. Oh, well,” he took off the other sock, “no sense dwelling on it. We’re alive and not in that white monster anymore so I don’t think we have anything to complain about, still…” he sighed, “I wish I was home with my wife.”

“I just wish I had a wife to go home to.”

“Play your cards right, and give it a little more time, and you will,” Adam said with a wicked grin.

Chris’ eyes shot right to him, and he blushed. “Ah, Boss.”

For the first time in hours, Adam found something to laugh about, and his rich laughter filled the little shack. The snapping of the fire added to it, and the room was more alive than it had ever been in its short existence.

Outside, the wind moaned and assaulted the line shack as if trying to get at the two men ensconced safely inside. Smoke rose from the chimney but disappeared into the howling entity, giving no visible sign that there was life anywhere near the place. Before too awful much longer night would descend, and the moon would cast an eerie light onto the swirling beast, but it made no difference, for it couldn’t get at Adam and Chris, and they were too tired to care.

SIX

Two tin plates, the empty cooking pot, its lid slightly ajar, and a bucket of melted snow sat on the hearth stone as the fire continued its endeavor to heat things up. Britches and shirts had been shucked to dry before the fire along with boots and socks, and the men were wrapped in blankets. Adam was stretched in the floor with his hands under the back of his head, his bare feet close to the flames, and Chris, still on the bunk, had reclined back against the wall. They were filled with food, rested and warm and drowsiness nibbled at the edges of their wakefulness.

“Boss?”

“Yeah.”

“Is it all right if I ask you somethin’ else?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

“What’s it like bein’ married, especially to a good woman like your missus?”

“If I’d known it’d be like this I would’ve done it sooner, but I don’t think it could’ve been this good with just any woman. My Angelica is a special one, all right.”

“That means angel, don’t it?”

“Yes, it does, and she definitely is.”

Chris’ mouth spread. “So that’s how come you to name your ranch the Angel, you done it for her.” His face went pensive, and he tousled his thick caramel-colored hair. “I sure wish I could do somethin’ like that for Miss Amelia.”

“She won’t care if you do or not. If she loves you it won’t make one bit o’ difference, but women do like it when we do little things for ‘em, and, to tell the truth, I think most men enjoy doin’ ‘em for the ladies we love.” Adam took a deep breath and wiggled his toes. “You should’ve seen her face when I gave her her birthday present this morning.”

“Oh, yeah. What’d you give ‘er?”

“A locket. I had it specially made by a silversmith in Carson City out of Comstock silver…, but I don’t think it meant as much to her as the lock of my hair I put inside it.” He tittered. “She kept running her thumb over it like it was the finest piece of silk. Women are funny, and I don’t think there’s a man in the history of the world ever figured ‘em out.” He tittered again. “But it sure is fun to try.”

“Yeah, and a bit maddenin’ too. A feller can’t help but get irked sometimes.”

“Oddly enough, there’s never been any what you could call ill or cross words between us.”

“Maybe that’ll come after the new wears off the marriage.”

“I don’t really think so. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not that easy to live with. I’ve got a temper and a sharp tongue, as my father and brothers can tell you, but with her… I think if I made her cry by something I said or did to her, I’d go out and shoot myself. I’ve seen her cry, and it tears my heart out. I just wantta hold ‘er and make it go away.”

“You really do love ‘er, don’t you?”

“More than anything in my life, and when the time comes, I hope I go first because I don’t think I could stand to live without her.” He sat up and, wrapping his arms and the blanket around his bare knees, leaned closer to the fire, and stared into the flickering blaze. “I wish I could get word to her that I’m all right.”

Adam leaned against his legs and watched the orange and yellow dancing among the logs as it consumed them and let his thoughts stray to her. He tried seeing that wonderful face and those purplish-blue eyes that had enchanted him from the very beginning. Letting his lids fall, she came to him, and his heart soared.

*******

Angelica sat before the roaring fire in the parlor, one hand clasping the locket, and her gaze locked onto the flames. She had become oblivious to those with her and didn’t hear them as they talked around her. The only voice she heard was a rich baritone that sounded low in the back of her head and soothed. It sang to her and the notes filled her mind and washed away the fear, at least for now.

“Have somethin’ to eat, mum.”

But Angelica didn’t even seem to know the housekeeper was there.

“I’ll take it, Maggie.”

“Yes, mum.”

Mrs. Cadence eased her ample figure down on the settee next to her daughter with the small tray. She could see that Angelica was in another world, and it didn’t take much imagination to figure out who was sharing it with her. Pushing a dark brown strand away from the lovely face, she could tell that the girl was, for the moment, at peace, and she hated to disturb it.

“Maggie brought you something to eat.” She got no response and tenderly took one of Angelica’s hands. “Angelica, you need to eat.”

With an onerous sigh, deep violet eyes turned to her, and she could see the tranquility slowly begin to fade from them.

“I’m not hungry,” she said mildly then directed her gaze back to the fire. “He’s all right, Mother…. He has to be.”

“As soon as this lets up, Benjamin and Joseph and Erik will go with the men to find him and Mr. McCutcheon.”

“I know he’s all right,” she said as if her mother hadn’t said a word to her. “Anything else I can’t think of.” Angelica looked at her again. “I can’t.”

Mrs. Cadence could see that the anxiety and pain and anguish had returned. Putting the tray on the seat beside her, she put her arms around her girl and held her close. She could feel Angelica’s minute shivering and wished that she could make it stop. It tormented a mother’s soul to feel her daughter’s fright and know there was nothing she could do about it.

On the other side of the room, Joe and Hoss had their hands full with their father. They hadn’t seen him like this in a while, and it hurt for them to see. His usually calm demeanor was now in a tumult of emotions ranging from concern to downright fear bordering on panic. He couldn’t sit still, and his sons couldn’t do a thing with him.

“Pa, this ain’t helpin’ a thing,” Hoss said as his father stalked to one of the front windows and looked out. “They ain’t nothin’ we can do except wait this out, an’ it won’t help a thing for you to tire yourself.”

“Hoss is right. It won’t do Adam and Chris one bit of good if we go out there and get lost too.” Joe went to him and grasped his arms, forcing him to stop his relentless pacing. “Pa.”

But Joe saw no need to go on as those fierce coffee eyes met with his. He gulped involuntarily and released his hold, and Ben resumed his pacing.

“I thought he was over this,” Joe said lowly as he stepped next to Hoss, and they watched him together.

“You don’t never git over bein’ afraid o’ losin’ somebody you love, an’ I figger right now he’s seein’ what we brung home in that wagon last year.”

Why didn’t the snow stop? Why couldn’t it just stop and let him go find his son? Life had gotten so good for all of them, and it was time for the fall. He had thought it might come the month before with Hoss but he had been spared that, so it would come now. His hands clenched into fists, and he tried not to think such things. But it seemed that every time things had gotten good for him in the past he had lost someone he loved. Now would it happen to him again? Would it happen to Angelica? He stopped, and his eyes went to where she sat on the settee with her mother. It couldn’t, it simply couldn’t. His son had a beautiful wife, his own spread and a child would come in the spring. Life couldn’t be that cruel, yet he knew only too well that it could be and often was.

He went over to where she sat and stood in front of her, and her eyes rose to him. Reaching down to her, she took his hands without hesitation, and he pulled her to her feet. For several seconds, they just looked at each other, and the light that he saw in the faint smile that formed on her perfect mouth touched him.

“We have to believe, Father,” she said softly. “We have to believe.”

No longer was she only his son’s wife and the mother of his grandchild, she was his daughter, and he needed to hold her. Throwing his arms around her, he clutched her close and felt her comforting embrace take him in. He rested the side of his face against her head, and closed his eyes, and tears seeped through his dense black lashes, and for the first time a spark of hope burned inside him.

SEVEN

The day progressed and the snow showed no sign of abating. Everything was still shrouded in white that had become even grayer. The trees stood as ghostly sentries and nothing moved except the wind. It was silent but for the howl that wailed through the pine boughs, and no sign of life, be it mammal, avian or reptile, dared venture out into the teeth of nature’s aggression.

The storm continued to thrash the line shack at Pointer’s Ridge but those inside didn’t care, exhaustion had long since claimed them and numbed them to it.

Warmed and dried clothes had been put back on, and Chris had gone to sleep on the lower bunk, leaving Adam to his own devices. On further inspection of the chest he had found a deck of cards and was now engaged in a rousing game of Solitaire. They were spread out before him as he sat in the floor facing the fire – the only light in the room – with his long legs outstretched.

“Let’s see, the black seven’ll play on the red eight, and the red three’ll play on the black four.” He looked over them again, his mouth drawn into a knot of concentration, and the longer he did the more frustrated he got. “Ah, this is a waste of time,” he grumbled as he messed the cards into disarray and dropped those in his hand into the middle of them. “Your mind’s just not on it.”

Pushing himself away from the floor, he got his bare feet under him. He rubbed at the kink in his back and stretched his arms then started toward the high window next to the door. It was like looking out into a turbulent, foamy ocean. He couldn’t see the trees, he couldn’t see the hills, and, in fact, he couldn’t see anything.

“I’m glad I’m in here and not out there…. Better still, I wish I was home.” He rested his arms on the windowsill as tiny flecks were hurled viciously against the panes. It was trying to get in at him, but the small shack had been too well constructed and was holding its own against the onslaught. “Not this time,” he laid one hand flat against the cold glass. “Not this time.”

He heard movement behind him and looked around as Chris turned over but never woke. Adam was glad that the young man had been with him, not that he wished this on him, but misery does love company.

His attention went back to the window and what lived beyond it. He guessed that less than an hour of daylight remained, and he hoped that through the long hours of night and early morning this would die out or at least down. Come first light, he would strike off on his own to get help. He knew that Chris would be no good out in this with that ankle, and he would never abandon his young friend to a certain death, so it was best he just stayed here. There was shelter, plenty of water, wood for the fire and food. He would be all right until Adam could send someone back for him.

“Ah, I might as well go to bed,” he said with a frown and scratched the side of his neck. “This isn’t accomplishing a thing, and I’m gonna need all the rest I can get if I’m planning on walking out of here in the morning, weather permitting.”

With a stretch, he went over to the beds and vaulted into the top one. It suddenly overtook him how dead beat he was, and he didn’t care that he could feel the wooden frame through the thin mattress. A languid yawn crept up on him, and his eyelids developed a notion that they wanted to lower.

“Angelica, I’m sorry. The last thing I would ever want is to hurt you…. I only wanted our first Thanksgiving to be special, and what good is a man if he can’t provide for his family?” Another yawn attacked him. “I guess what I forgot is that everyday we’re together is special because you are.” The mist of sleep eased over him like a ground hugging fog, and he could hold it off no longer. “Good night, Angel…. I love you.”

With a heavy breath he sank into slumber’s cradle, and it sealed his eyes for the night, rendering them both oblivious and impervious to the storm that raged. For now nothing concerned them, save sleep, and that was all that was necessary.

*******

No one was in the mood to turn in for they knew they would never be able to go to sleep. Maggie kept them well plied with steaming tea and coffee and food, though little was eaten, except by Angelica. In the past week, she had developed a craving for ginger snaps crumbled in buttermilk. It made the housekeeper cringe but she made sure it was always on hand, and she had baked a fresh batch that afternoon.

Joe’s upper lip rose, wrinkling his nose, as he watched her dig into the concoction. “I didn’t think you were hungry.”

“I can’t help myself; it hits me at the oddest times, even when I don’t think I want anything.” She dipped the spoon into it and stopped. “And it makes Adam laugh.” She took a bite and realized that she didn’t really want the rest of it.

She put the bowl with what little remained on the mantle then started for their room.

“Angelica, dear, are you all right?”

“I’m fine, Mother, I just thought I would go lay down on our bed.”

“I think that’s a splendid idea. You do look tired.”

Angelica went into the silent room and closed the door behind her. She thought about lighting a lamp but she didn’t feel like fooling with it. Sitting down on the side of the bed, she could feel the old fear coming for her again. The last thing she wanted was to break down and cry and act like a school girl, but her Adam was out there, she didn’t know where, and she couldn’t help but worry. All kinds of dark imaginings assailed her thoughts and with them came hideous visions, neither of which she wanted to have. Her stomach began to gurgle, and she rubbed her hand over it. Since the first two months of her pregnancy, she hadn’t had much trouble with nausea, so she attributed this to her choice of late snack and nerves.

The room was so quiet and dark except for the pale gray light that seeped in past the draperies. Swinging her legs onto the bed, she thought to lie back but as she started to she looked over to his side, and he wasn’t there. With trembling fingers, she touched his pillow, and all at once everything rushed at her. She bounded to her feet, and dashed to the chair and plopped down into it. How could she do this? How could she get through the night not knowing where he was or even if he was all right? Leaning back, she looked out beyond the window glass to as far as she could see, probably less than an inch, and fought to hold herself together. She tried not to think of him caught out in this violent, bitter, unforgiving weather but it was an impossible thing. And what about Chris McCutcheon? Was there anyone to worry about him, and mourn him if the worst should come? Of course there was. Amelia Banning would be broken hearted.

“Stop it!” she said sharply into the gloom. “Why must you do that? Adam would never give up on you, so don’t you dare give up on him.”

Closing her eyes, she let her mind drift back to another time and place, a warmer time in the big roughhewn log house of Ben Cartwright and his sons. The sides of her mouth curved as he she thought of how much she had not wanted to come west. She had fought so hard against it but in the end her mother’s indomitable will and innate stubbornness had won out, and how grateful she was that it had. Hugging herself against the darkness, she visualized the gaiety and love of life in the large parlor that night. But she hadn’t been willing to let herself enjoy it and participate in it because of what she saw as being pushed into what she didn’t want to do. Then it had come before she had even been aware of its presence. There he had stood in the kitchen, his broad, bare back to her, and she had been lost for all time, though she hadn’t been aware of it yet. She had returned to her perch in the blue chair before she got caught and waited for him to come out, refusing all offers to dance, as she had since the party had started. Then she had felt the breath sucked from her lungs as he came out to join the festivities, and she got a good look at him in his black coat and pure white shirt tied at the throat with a string tie. Now it was firmly entrenched in her subconscious that this man would be hers, and as the hours and days passed it moved into conscious thought until finally it had happened, and he had asked her to marry him.

She rubbed at the budding ache in her temples and recalled the day when he had given her the beautiful emerald ring that had been bought for his mother’s birthday by his father and never given to her because of her death. Now worn on the index finger of her right hand to make room for her wedding band on the left, Angelica twisted it absentmindedly.

What it must have been like for him to grow up, knowing that his mother’s death had been caused by his birth. Her father-in-law had told her of his never wanting to celebrate that day as others did because of what he saw as his fault. For a sensitive man as her Adam to live with such feelings must have been unbearable at times. But then what had happened to him on the road coming out of Bantree had changed him, according to his family. Where he had held back before to keep from being hurt as he had been before, he now seized life and lived it to its fullest. His fun loving spirit had also been aroused and no one was safe from it.

Then the sinister images came and try as she could she was unable to push them away. She saw a faceless man beating and brutalizing him and leaving him stripped nearly naked to bleed to death in the grass. He breathed heard and was covered in blood and bruises. Her eyes flew open but there in the blackened room it continued. With a whimper she fell forward against her legs and began to cry.

“Stop it,” she said through gritted teeth as her hands wadded in the folds of her skirt. “This doesn’t help a thing.”

She wasn’t aware when the door opened and briefly flooded the room with the glow of lamplight before it closed. A soft voice said her name then a gentle hand took her chin and raised her head, and she found herself looking into the face of her mother.

Mrs. Cadence wiped some of the moisture from her cheeks with her fingertips. “Would you like for me to stay with you for a little while?”

“Yes…, I would.”

She stood and took her daughter’s hand and led her to the bed. They lay down side-by-side, and, without much thought behind it, Angelica cuddled close to the warmth of her mother and let the familiar arms enclose her.

“I love him so much.”

“I know you do, dear, and he feels the same about you.”

The crying picked up again then slowly receded as Verina Cadence calmed her with soft words and a loving touch, and she knew when Angelica went to sleep.

“My poor little girl,” she whispered. What would become of her if she lost her husband, the man that had come into her life and turned her into a woman, and whom she loved beyond mere words to express? She shuddered to think of it and tried not to. “Sleep, sweetheart, just sleep, and hopefully by morning things will look brighter.”

She rested her head on the pillow near her daughter’s and listened to the soft, even breathing. As she lay there with her child, her own mind went back to her Hiram, and she, more than anyone, understood what Angelica was going through.

EIGHT

The mantle clock in the parlor ticked away the minutes and chimed on the hour. This time is struck three in the morning but Ben was too immersed in his own thoughts to notice. His mind was out with his son, and his surroundings weren’t even there.

Joe and Hoss stood by the front door sipping coffee – which they both preferred to tea – with their eyes set on him.

“I bet he didn’t even here that,” Joe said as he sat his cup on its saucer with a light clink.

“No bet and I think we both know why. He ain’t even here.”

“Hoss.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Whadaya think our chances are of… What I mean to say is…”

“I know what you mean to say, an’ the truth is I just don’t know.” He put a reassuring hand on his little brother’s shoulder. “But we know how smart Adam is, an’ if’n anybody can come through this, he can. He’ll keep hisself an’ Chris alive, an’ on that I will bet.”

Joe wanted to believe, more than anything, he wanted to believe, but he couldn’t be as certain as Hoss. Sure Adam was smart but even the smartest of men were brought down by nature all the time. His troubled emerald eyes went back to his father sitting like a statue. Automatically, he took another sip and wished for first light.

Hoss’ words had been more to bolster his brother’s hopes, and even his own, but he hadn’t for a moment been as certain as he had sounded for Joe’s benefit. He knew only too well what could happen to a man caught in something like this. Following Joe’s line of sight to his father, he forgot all about his coffee. Pa had to be thinking the same thing – Angelica could wind up a widow, and her unborn child fatherless.

Maggie sat in a chair in a quiet corner of the dining room watching Mr. Adam’s father and brothers as she sipped at a cup of tea. She could only speculate at what was going on in their minds but it didn’t take much guesswork. This was the first time she had met the elder Cartwright, and his other two sons, but she had been filled in about them by Miss Angelica and her mother. She didn’t know much of the kind of man that inhabited this rough and rugged country she found herself living in, but judging by the land, she knew they had to be capable and able to take care of themselves and their families, and Mr. Adam was such a man. She closed her eyes and listened for someone to summon her.

Fiona had dozed off in one of the chairs close to the fireplace. To Hoss, the little thing didn’t look like she could possibly be comfortable, all bunched up like she was.

“I’ll be right back, Joe,” he said as he sat his cup and saucer on the small table by the door.

He went to where she sat and delicately scooped her into his massive arms. Her sleepy gray eyes flicked open but just as quickly closed, and she snuggled close to him. He took her up the stairs and into the first bedroom he came to and lightly placed her on the bed. She settled without waking, and he stood and looked down at her. She was pretty, though she didn’t look at all like her mother or Angelica. Her features were longer and her hair ash rather than dark brown and straighter, and he knew he was looking into the face of her father.

“Goodnight, darlin’,” he whispered then left the room and her to her dreams.

*******

Adam turned onto his side away from the room but rather than go back to sleep he gradually came to his senses. He blinked once and grunted as he moved onto his back. As he lay there he began to realize what had awakened him as it became more noticeable. He cursed and sat up then hung his legs over the side. With a push he landed on the floor with a thump, the cool planks grabbing hold of his warm feet.

Heeding the call of nature was a necessity but doing it outside was definitely out of the question. He looked around him for the slop jar he had made sure each shack had been equipped with. As he started to turn toward the fireplace his eyes lit on it tucked into a corner.

“There you are,” he said then went to it.

As quickly as possible he took care of business then rushed back for his beckoning bed, buttoning his britches as he went. Halfway there he noticed that the fire would extinguish itself before long so he threw a couple more logs on it then hastened back to his bunk. Chris was dead to the world, and Adam paused to watch him sleep. The kid was more than just someone who worked for him; he was more like a younger brother. He couldn’t help his grin as he thought of when he had taken Amelia Banning her birthday present last year.

“Worked like a charm,” he said to himself then propelled himself into his bed.

As he lay back his eyes fixed onto the ceiling, and he yawned. He wondered how Angelica was holding up and how Maggie was handling it. If he knew his Angel she was probably on her head. When she had returned home from Bangor and told him she needed to tell him something he had been able to see it was something distressing. Then when she had unfolded what Hazelton Greenwood had planned to do, it had been difficult for her to put it into words. In the end, he had wound up with her in his arms, wiping away the tears and assuring her that it was all over. He chortled as he thought of how she kept apologizing to him for bringing that horrid man into all their lives. Yes, if he knew his Angel, she wasn’t handling this well at all.

He turned to face the wall and settled back down until the dawn would come. Warm thoughts and pictures of her came to him, and he felt that even though they were apart she was still there with him. Closing his eyes, the pictures became even more vivid and gently lulled him back to sleep.

*******

Some time approaching dawn the snow slacked off into nothing more than a flurry, but more than a couple feet had already been dumped on the surrounding area. The trees stood as silent monoliths in the midst of a landscape that showed no sign of life. The wind had also died down with the occasional gust that whirled the falling flakes and raised white puffs from that that had already fallen. Soon the sky would lighten to be streaked with the most glorious hues imaginable to embrace the sun. This would be a special November day as people prepared for a time of feasting and just being with loved ones. A time of giving thanks for what they had received, their homes, their families, and, this year, for the end of the terrible war that had devastated the country and torn a people apart. But for one family there was all too clear a possibility that it could turn into a dark time that no one wanted to remember, a time when there would be no rejoicing, a time of only grief and loss, a time to cry and mourn.

NINE

A hasty breakfast had been taken in by the family as the men prepared to ride out in search of Adam and Chris. No one had even mentioned that it was Thanksgiving. Even Maggie hadn’t brought up the menu for the day for right now that was the last thing on anyone’s minds.

Mrs. Cadence stepped to Ben as he wrapped his scarf around his neck. “Do be careful.”

“We will, and we’ll bring them back.”

“I know you will.” She turned to Joe and Hoss as they waited on their father. With only a smile she gave them each a hug then stood back with Fiona.

Angelica went to Ben and had to fight to keep from bursting out. He cupped her chin in one gloved hand and his eyes reached out to her.

“We’ll find him, daughter, and we’ll bring him back to you. The last thing he would want to do is spoil everybody’s celebration, and if I know my son… he’ll come to us if we don’t hurry.”

She gave him a kiss on the cheek then turned to her brothers-in-law and clasped their hands. She tried reading what was in the blue and green eyes before her. Hoss’ relayed his fear but also his determination to find Adam, Joe’s, however, were a little harder to decipher, but she saw the same resolve and knew they wouldn’t stop until they found him.

“Let’s go, boys.”

Hoss opened the door and they went out to where the men and horses waited. To everyone’s delight, the snow had all but completely stopped, which would help in the search. Angelica followed them out onto the porch while her mother and sister stayed just inside the doorway. She stood near the top step as the men got mounted.

“We’ll find him,” Ben said as if for his own reassurance as well.

“I know.”

As they turned and started out in the direction which Adam and Chris had taken, it was obvious that the depth of the snow was going to impede their progress. Angelica clasped the silver locket around her neck and struggled to hold back her sense of helplessness. The men of her newly acquired family were going, along with the ranch hands, to find the husband that had been hers for way too short a time. She tried keeping her thoughts positive and any hint of doubt from her face and the way she carried herself. “They’ll find him,” she said softly. “Please let them find him.”

*******

“That’s enough, Christopher!” Adam shouted as he threw his arms in the air. “It was decided last night that I’d head out on my own!”

“You decided! You didn’t ask me!”

“Your ankle’s just not up to it and you’ll only slow me down!”

“I ain’t gonna let you go out in this by yourself!”

“Well, how do you think I got on before you came along?”

“You had Joe and Hoss and your Pa but they ain’t here, so it’s up to me.”

“Ah!” Adam growled and picked something up and threw it, he didn’t really pay attention to what. “You’re as bad as my brothers!”

“Thanks,” Chris said with a beaming smile.

“That wasn’t meant as a compliment!” He stalked to the fireplace, his boots clomping on the floor, then to the door and whirled to where Chris sat on his bunk. “All right, smart man, answer me this. How do you propose to walk all that way on that ankle? Even with me holding you up you’re gonna havta put some weight on it, and it’s gonna hurt like the dickens.”

“Well, that just can’t be helped, and it ain’t like I’ve never had nothin’ hurt before, and besides that, the cold’ll numb it.”

Adam groaned and squeezed his eyes shut as he pinched the bridge of his nose. It was like arguing with a fencepost, only Joe was worse. “All right, who’s the boss here?” Adam said as his keen dark eyes drilled in on him.

“You are,” Chris said without flinching. “But I always heard a good boss listens to his foreman.”

“I give up!” In a fit of pique he spun and jerked the door open but immediately froze, and his jaw dropped.

“Boss…, what is it?”

“Do you believe in miracles?”

“Huh?” Chris scooted off the bed and hopped, one-footed, over to where the boss stood gaping at something. As he looked around his own mouth fell open. Standing a few feet from the shack was the liver chestnut they had taken with them to lug their catch home. “Where’d he come from?”

“He must’ve gotten lost just like we did, but it doesn’t matter because I’m not looking this gift horse in the mouth.”

Chris winced. Sometime ago the boss had taught him about puns.

Adam made his way through the calf deep snow to the horse and grabbed the halter lead. “Am I ever glad to see you,” he said as he gave the animal a healthy pat on the neck.

Chris moved out of the way as the horse was led inside and the door closed. Adam took the big animal to the fireplace and – grabbing the blanket from the bottom bunk – draped it over the gelding’s back.

“While he warms up we’ll get ready,” Adam said as he sat on the hearthstone and took off his boots then put them in front of the fire to heat up again. “And I think we should take that bag of jerky with us.” He got up and gave the horse a pat on the jowl then went to the chest.

Chris hadn’t seen the boss this keyed up in a while. He had no doubt that the prospect of seeing his wife was working its magic, and in his place, Chris knew he wouldn’t be any better. He thought of Miss Amelia waiting for him, and his own eagerness to get started built.

Once everything that would be required was collected and boots returned to feet – Chris’ right one had not wanted to go on over his badly swelled foot – it was time to head home. Adam used the bucket of water to douse the fire. Next, they got into their coats, hats, gloves and scarves and the blanket was taken from the horse’s back.

“Okay, here we go,” Adam said as he grasped the halter lead.

They left the shack, Chris using the horse as a crutch. Adam secured the door then helped him onto the animal’s back.

“You ready?”

“Lead on, Boss.”

They started slowly down the gradual slope, allowing the horse time to pick his way through the snow. The additional weight on his back made the going a bit more difficult, and Adam knew that moving too fast could result in a broken leg or at least a spill. The shack grew increasingly smaller as they walked away from it along a line of snow clad trees. The two men knew that the going would be anything but easy, not to mention time consuming, still, they wouldn’t stop. There were friends and family waiting for them and they couldn’t give in after what they had already been through.

*******

Ben Cartwright astride his big buckskin led the small party of six in an effort to find his oldest son and young Chris McCutcheon. It had been deliberated on if they should split into two groups but decided against it, what with the imminent threat if snow still hanging over them. They too were not moving so very fast for the same reasons plus they didn’t want to run the risk of missing anything.

Joe and Hoss stayed up front with their father. Ben had always been touchy over and protective of his sons but after the belief that he had lost his first-born he had become even worse. And this time could prove out what nearly happened before, and if it did they didn’t want to be far away from him, for this time they didn’t expect him to make it.

TEN

Since the men had left, Angelica had begun prowling about the house like a hungry cougar looking for prey. She couldn’t be still, and she didn’t want anything to eat or drink. Her mother and sister watched her knowing there was nothing they could do to ease what she was going through.

“Angelica, dear, why don’t you sit down for a little bit?”

“I can’t, Mother, I’m too restless.” She went to one of the front windows and looked out. “I wish I were out there with them. At least they’re doing something.”

Mrs. Cadence left the settee and went to her daughter. “We’re doing what mothers and wives have always done. We’re waiting.” She turned Angelica to face her. “And that seems to be one of the things we’re best at. We cook, take care of the house and our children, and when our man comes home cold and tired and hungry we give him something hot to eat and love him with all our might.”

“I do.”

“No one doubts that for a second

“Mum,” Maggie said as she approached them.”

“Yes, Maggie, what is it?” Mrs. Cadence answered for her daughter.

“I think I should go ahead and fix the meal. Before long we’re goin’ to be havin’ a lot of hungry men that need to be fed.”

“Yes,” Angelica said haltingly. “Yes, we are…. Go ahead and fix the ham and whatever else you want.”

“Yes, mum.” Maggie started into the dining room then stopped and turned back to her. “And mum, I said a rosary for ‘em all to get back safely.”

“Thank you, Maggie, thank you.”

The housekeeper went on to the kitchen, and Angelica turned back to the window.

“Won’t you sit down?” Mrs. Cadence said as she put a hand on her shoulder.

“I think I’ll go upstairs to the study. He spends a lot of time there, and it’s where I’ll feel closer to him.”

Mrs. Cadence watched her as she walked away and drug herself up the stairs. Her daughter had always been a headstrong, self-reliant person, even when a little girl, but after meeting Adam Cartwright she had become reliant on him for her happiness and the love they shared. He had become the center of her life, and if he were to be snatched away from her the end result frightened a mother.

Angelica went into the oak paneled room with its floor-to-ceiling bookcases along one wall and its decidedly masculine furnishings. A scant bit of butter-colored light made its way around the edges of the dark green draperies and striped the gem-hued oriental carpet. She moved to where he kept Shakespeare, Tennyson, Keats, Thoreau and Emerson, just to name a few and ran her fingers along their spines. She could almost feel where he had touched them, and it soaked into her, but then her hand stopped on one, and she read the title. It was Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. He didn’t really care for it but he bought it for her as a wedding gift. Before they were married she had made a slight mention before him of how she loved reading romances. She pulled it out and thumbed through the pages. Of all those she had read this one had to be her favorite. The story of Jane and Rochester and how their love for one another nearly ended in disaster for both of them only to end in a beautiful life together stirred her. Letting her head drop, she clutched it to her.

“I’m not going to cry,” she said as she raised her head. “And I’m going to believe.”

She went to the two big overstuffed chairs by the window and threw open the draperies. Yellow light flooded the room, chasing away the shadows. Demurely, she parked herself in one and opened the book again. Then her heart began to beat wildly. Written in one corner of the title page in his bold, distinctive script were the words he had penned to her. ‘To my beloved Angel. You are the light in my life, and for as long as you live I will always be with you no matter where I happen to be. With all my love and heart. Adam’.

That she couldn’t handle, and the tears came in spite of her. She held onto the book as if it was him, and she never intended to let go. As far as she was concerned her life had begun that night when she met him, and the thought that it could be over before it had hardly even started tore at her, and she couldn’t seem to push it away. She brought her legs up and curled into the chair and let her crying run its course.

*******

Ben and the men stopped in a clearing bordered on two sides by stately pines as dense as a bear’s winter fur. The trees cast shadows like long, spiky fingers across the pristine snow, and nothing stirred except them. The sunlight wasn’t as bright as it had been when they started out but it still made the scattered clouds stand out, dark and foreboding.

Juva Bailey eased his horse closer to the buckskin. “Mr. Cartwright, they’re two line shacks not so awful far from here.”

Ben’s head snapped around in the man’s direction. “Where?”

“One in Butterfly Meadow,” Juva said as he swiped at his freckled nose then pointed off to the right, “and one at Pointer’s Ridge, on up that way.” He gestured to the left toward where the line of trees thinned out.

“Pa, you don’t think?” Joe said as he twisted in the saddle to face his father.

“I don’t like separating with the possibility of snow, but if there’s any chance, we have to look, and it’ll go faster if we do. Mr. Bailey, you and the other two go on to Butterfly Meadow, and we’ll take the one at Pointer’s Ridge. If they aren’t there you just follow our tracks and join up with us again.”

“But you ain’t never been there,” lanky Noah Tyler said. “You might get lost.”

“Just point us in the right direction, and tell us what to look for, and we’ll find it.” The coffee eyes went in that direction. “If they’re up there, we’ll find ‘em.”

“You sure about this, Mr. Carwtright?” Linc Wilson asked as he sifted his square frame.

“I’m sure. Now let’s get moving, the day won’t last forever.”

Juva gave them clear directions and described the area then they wished each other luck and split off into two parties. The three hands headed off to the right where it was less wooded, and Ben and his sons made toward the trees. They all knew that the chances of their being at one of the little shacks were pretty slim, but they had to make sure.

ELEVEN

Juva shoved the door open at the shack in Butterfly Meadow and it was cold as an ice box. It was as the day they finished it without a sign of life or that anyone had been there since. With a harrumph he pulled it together and started out to rejoin the other two.

“Nothin?” Linc said as he leaned forward against his saddle’s pommel.

“Nope,” Juva said as he slipped his foot into the stirrup and swung onto his horse’s back, “and not a sign that they’ve even been here.”

“Well, maybe the Cartwrights’ll have better luck,” Noah said and pushed his hat back on his head.

“I hope so,” Juva said and looked around behind him. “Now let’s go catch up with ‘em.”

The others agreed and they turned their horses and started away from the shack.

*******

Joe and Hoss rode protectively on either side of their father. They could see the strain in Pa’s face and they couldn’t miss the anxiety in his eyes as they caught every movement and shadow. No one had to tell them what was going through his mind for they harbored the same thoughts, and the same dread and the same apprehension. They knew their brother and friend were out here somewhere but they couldn’t keep at bay the notion that maybe they would have to wait for the thaw to find them.

“Juva said if we kept going this way we should come to it before long,” Joe said as he glanced at his brother. “And this looks just the way he described it.”

“Down from a line o’ trees he said,” Hoss picked up, “an’ off to the right.”

But Ben didn’t say anything and kept his attention focused around him. Joe caught Hoss’ sight and frowned and just shook his head.

They rode on and that was the end of any conversation.

*******

Adam led the big horse along a raised part of ground where the trees had cut off some of the snow and it wasn’t quite so deep, and the going was moderately easier. He chose his steps carefully and hoped he didn’t discover something hidden. He snickered at the thought.

“Somethin’ funny, Boss?” Chris asked from his perch on the horse’s back.

“Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“About what the snow can hide, and how one shouldn’t frighten little brothers.” He rubbed his chin at the recollection and snickered again. “Last winter me and Joe found ourselves tramping through the snow just like we are now. I fell through the ceiling of a cave that had been buried.” He chortled and shook his head. “Scared poor Joe to death. I came up behind him trying to dig me out, and I asked him if he’d lost something. Whee, that boy packs a wallop. I was flat of my back before I knew it.”

Now it was Chris’ turn to laugh. “I know what you mean. He does have a hair trigger.”

“You can say that again, and Hoss is the complete opposite.”

“And you?”

“I come out somewhere in the middle. I know Pa had his hands full getting us raised. I bet he was glad to see me coattails leave the house.”

“I kinda doubt that.”

Adam stopped and went thoughtful. “Yeah, me too.”

“Say, Boss, look.”

Adam’s head came up, and he followed Chris’s pointing finger. Off in the distance were three men on horseback. They stayed perfectly still just watching as the riders gradually drew closer. The sun glared on the snow so it wasn’t easy to make them out a first but a cloud passed over it as they continued coming closer.

“Well, I’ll be darned,” Chris said with a chuckle. “I don’t believe it.”

“I do,” Adam said as relief covered his face. “I do.”

*******

The house was alive with aromas enough to tempt any man. Spices and meats and breads and vegetables combined in a mouthwatering mélange that drifted out from the kitchen. The heat from the big iron stove came with it and made things feel not quite so desolate.

Angelica was helping her mother and little sister set the table but she wasn’t saying much and just going about the motions. She moved like a wisp, drifting about like a feather caught in a gust of air and didn’t notice that she was being scrutinized closely. Maggie came out into the dining room and joined in the surveillance.

As she came around the table to place a glass, her back to the parlor, Angelica saw that she was the center of everyone’s attention. “No, I haven’t suddenly grown two heads,” she said brusquely, “and I’m perfectly all right.”

“Angelica, dear, we’re only concerned. It’s been such a long day.”

“I know how long it’s been.” Her fine brows lowered into a frown. “I shouldn’t have…

“Why don’t you let us finish? You can go sit in front of the fire until time…”

“No, I don’t need to. I do know how to set a table.” She laughed nervously and struggled to keep her composure.

“I know you do but…” Mrs. Cadence said as she started toward her but stopped dead in her tracks, and her eyes gazed past her daughter as an icy breeze floated in.

Angelica felt as if a giant hand had suddenly seized her, and she couldn’t move or make herself look. She swallowed hard, and her hand rose to grasp the locket. Several seconds passed then, like an insect caught in liquid amber, she turned. She began to quiver, and her knuckles blanched as her slim fingers tightened on the precious piece of jewelry.

“I’m afraid we won’t have turkey this year,” he said with a self-conscious grin.

With a moan she flew at him, and flung her arms around his neck. He was cold and sent a chill through her but nothing had ever felt so good. She didn’t notice his father and brothers standing behind him as she took his face in her hands and planted kiss after kiss on his lips and his cheeks and his chin. Then he put his arms around her, and she rested her head against his broad chest so that she could hear his heart beat.

“Are you all right?” he asked as he caressed the back of her head.

“I am now.”

“Me and Chris spent the night in the line shack at Pointer’s Ridge but I would’ve much rather been here.” He raised her head and looked into her violet eyes. “You were with me all night long, but this is so much better.”

“Go ahead and kiss ‘er,” Joe urged.

Adam glanced back at his little brother then turned back to her. “I think that’s a very good idea, Joe. I just think I will.”

She closed her eyes and felt pure joy as his lips met with hers. His embrace held her to him like a vise as if to break her but all she could think of was that he was home. He was safe and alive, and she had him back, and her mind focused on that and nothing else.

She vaguely heard Maggie announce the meal but who cared for food at a time like this? Her husband was home, her prayers had been answered, and she had so much to say thanks for. This was a Thanksgiving she would remember and cherish for all time. Not for the fear and torment she had gone through but for that moment, that one small second when she first saw him standing before her, and she knew he was back. She laced her fingers in his heavy black hair and pressed her lips close to his ear. “I have my Thanksgiving right here,” she whispered and the only answer she got was the tightening of his arms. She closed her eyes and reveled in him and knew that life was good, for her love was home.

THE END

RETURN TO LIBRARY