From the Ashes
by
Janice Sagraves

ONE

For what seemed like the umpteenth time that morning he stamped out the cinders on the floor and swatted them from the furniture. It irked him no end when the fire got a hold of knotty wood and popped and threw tantrums as a result. He knew putting everything so close to the hearth was asking for problems, but it really couldn’t be helped. And it made the finest place to snuggle with one’s wife on a cold winter evening when the children were asleep. So he would live with the extra chore and enjoy these cold nights. And keep trying to watch out for knotty wood.

*******

Adam Cartwright tore off the page of the calendar that hung in the kitchen next to the back door. The New Year of 1867 was now officially three days old, and his mind flitted to what it would bring. As he wadded the piece of paper into a tight ball, he turned toward the pantry where he could hear Maggie humming and bustling around.

The corners of his finely sculpted mouth turned and lamplight caught in his dark hazel eyes. These nearly two and a half years since he and Angelica had moved into the house had been good ones. It wasn’t like there had never been any hard times, for they had had their share and then some, but all-in-all they had been good. And even given the chance, he wouldn’t change but very little.

“Good mornin’, Mister Adam,” Maggie O’Shea said in her hearty Irish brogue as she rustled from the pantry, a coffee tin in one hand and a sack of flour in the other. “I trust ya had a good night.”

“As good as anybody can have with three fussy boys right in the room.”

“Again?” She went about putting the dark beans into the grinder. “What was it this time?”

He removed one of the stove caps, and dropped in the crumpled paper, and the glow lit his face. “Angelica thinks the way the wind was howling around made them restless.”

“They weren’t the only ones. It sounded like all the wolves in the state had descended upon us.” She shivered. “I about froze to death in me own bed just listin’ to it.”

He replaced the cap and rubbed his hands together. “Maybe tonight it’ll settle down so they can.”

“One can but only hope.”

A sudden crash from the parlor wrenched their attention away from pleasant conversation, and they dashed past the table where Maggie always ate.

Angelica Cartwright had just set the small table by the front door back on its feet as they left the dining room side of the big ell-shaped room. A lamp lay shattered near the tail of her skirt, and oil had spread into a yellowish puddle. A large dog with thick wiry brown fur had positioned himself before the fire and looked as if he intended to stay.

“Do I need to ask what happened?” Adam said as his gaze flicked to the animal.

“I stepped out on the front porch for only a few seconds, and he shot in like a bullet. Maggie and I work hard to keep this house neat and clean, and we don’t feel like contending with muddy paws and loose fur all over everything.” Angelica whirled to face him, and rested her balled hands on her hips. “Look, I don’t mind a dog being here, but if the men want to keep him they’ll have to keep him out of the house. This is the fourth time this week he has gotten in.” Her voice rose, and her arm shot out. “And I don’t feel like being a maid to that!”

“All right, dear,” Adam said, as he hurried over to the dog, and took it by the scruff of the neck. “I’ll talk to them, and I’m sure there won’t be any more problems.”

“There had better not be.” Angelica crossed her arms in front of her, and the toe of her right foot tapped the floor.

Adam pulled the reluctant pooch away from the hearth, and didn’t dare let his eyes stray to his wife. They went out onto the porch and the door slammed behind them.

“Maggie, would you bring me a pail of water, some rags and the mop, please?”

“Yes, mum.”

“Sorry, Buddy.” Adam gave the dog a healthy pat on the shoulder. “I know it’s a lot nicer in there, but I’m afraid you’ll just have to content yourself with the bunkhouse.” He chortled. “Well, at least we got off easy. If it’d been Hop Sing you would’ve been run out with a broom and me probably along with you.”

Adam held onto the step railing that had been added the previous September, and wondered why he hadn’t thought of it sooner. It was a miracle that someone hadn’t fallen on the steep steps. They went down into the yard that had yet to be cleared off for the day and started toward the bunkhouse.

Wyatt Donnelly had just come out of the small side door of the barn – a shovel gripped in his hand – when he caught sight of the Boss. The teenager grimaced and his copper eyes narrowed. He knew something uncomfortable was coming, and he had a good idea what it was. “Morning, Boss.”

Adam stopped before him with the dog. “Morning, Wy.”

“It happened again, didn’t it?”

Adam nodded. “And this time he turned over the table by the front door and broke a lamp.”

Wyatt sucked frigid air in through his teeth and felt a lump form in his stomach.

“You know, if you really wantta keep this fella, you’re gonna havta keep a tighter rein on him. One more episode like what just happened, and I’m afraid I’ll havta ask you to get rid of him.”

“All right, Boss. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

Adam’s lips parted into a toothy grin, and he gave the boy a friendly slap on the arm. “I know you will.”

Wyatt took charge of the dog and watched as the Boss’ long legs propelled him back to the house. He crouched next the animal and put his free arm around its neck. “Now you heard what the Boss said, Buddy. If you wantta stay here you’re gonna havta behave yourself. No more going into the big house. I’ll havta take you back into town, and you can’t follow me this time.” Wyatt stood, and his fingers twined in Buddy’s scruffy neck fur. “Now let’s go see if Gibby has breakfast ready yet. I bet he’ll have a nice piece of side meat and a spot of gravy all just for you.”

The dog’s ears perked as if he understood the last sentence, and he willingly went with the boy. Juva Baily had just stepped out as they came up onto the bunkhouse porch.

“I was just coming after you, boy. You know how Gibby gets when we aren’t on time for a meal.” His gaze strayed to the dog, and his face fell. “Not again.”

“Afraid so. And this time he did some damage.”

Juva’s face pinched, and his teeth clamped. “You know, if you wantta keep that mongrel, you best start keeping ‘im out of Mrs. Cartwright’s house. I ain’t never seen a woman yet who likes a dog trackin’ up the place.”

“I know, and I promised the Boss that I’d take care of it.”

“Then you’d best do it.” Juva slapped an arm around his shoulders. “Now let’s go get breakfast before Gibby comes after us with a butcher knife.” He ruffled his fingers in the top of Buddy’s shaggy head. “And you, too.”

The three of them went in, but Juva stopped in the doorway and gave the big house a slanted look. Then went in and closed the door behind him.

TWO

The evening was quieter than the previous one. The wind barely disturbed the tops of the trees, and didn’t moan around the buildings like a mournful spirit. The moon was just about to enter its new phase so it was nearly as dark as the inside of an overturned bucket. Even the wolves were silent for a change so, all-in-all, it was the peaceful night that Adam had hoped for.

The main room of the bunkhouse, however, wasn’t quite as hushed. Snores emanated from the double bunks lining the walls, punctuated by the occasional grunt. Buddy had curled up before the little stove that kept things toasty and comfortable. If it had been kicking up another gale outside no one would have been aware of it.

Suddenly, Buddy’s head rose, and he gave a muted ‘woof’ as his eyes went to the door. He shot to his feet, bracing his paws against the floor, and a low growl rumbled through him.

No one knew a thing about it until he set off a peal of frantic barking that would have awakened the dead in Italy. Men began to groan and grumble as they were yanked from the arms of sleep.

“Blasted dog,” Juva griped and wrapped his pillow around his head.

“Shut up, Buddy!” and a boot just missed the agitated dog.

“Wy, you’d best shut that blamed critter up before the Boss comes out here and shoots ‘im,” Linc Wilson said from his dark corner.

“If I don’t beat ‘im to it,” Alphonse Sweet said under his breath as he flopped over on his stomach and buried his head under his covers.

“All right, fellas, I’ll take care of it.”

“You’d better.”

Wyatt dropped from his top bunk and landed lightly on the balls of his feet. “Hey, Buddy.” He padded softly to the dog and put an arm around its neck. “You’d better stop this before you find yourself sleeping in the barn.”

“Mexico’d be better,” growled from the darkness.

But the dog’s distress had become tantamount to hysteria. It broke away from Wyatt and ran to the door where it started to scratch as if trying desperately to get out.

“Fellas, I think something’s wrong,” Wyatt said as he followed the animal.

“Yeah, there’s gonna be one less dog in the world.”

“You call that wrong?”

“No, fellas, really, he’s upset about something.”

“He’s gonna be a whole lot more upset in a minute if you don’t shut him up.”

By now Wyatt thought Buddy was going to tear a hole in the door so he opened it. Freezing wind blew in and elicited more groans and gripes.

The dog burst outside and set up another wave of wild barking from the yard. Wyatt went out onto the porch and the icy planks assailed his bare feet. “Buddy! What is it?” Then he thought he noticed something that wasn’t quite right. He went down onto to the steps – the biting cold the furthest thing from his mind – and leaned forward for a better look. All the windows of the big house were dark except for the two of the front parlor. A faint tawny light flicked and waved inside, and in an instant he knew what he saw. A wintry hand slapped him across the face. For less than a second he couldn’t move then his mind shifted into high gear, and he bolted inside, nearly tripping along the way.

“Fire! Fire in the big house!”

Feet smacked the floor then all the men pushed their way out onto the porch.

“I don’t see nothin’,” Noah Tyler said, and rubbed his eyes.

“In the front parlor windows. See?”

All eyes followed Wyatt’s pointing finger.

Fonse dashed down into the yard where the still franticly barking dog stood. With a curse, he spun and raced back up onto the bunkhouse porch. “Get your boots! It’s for dang sure a fire!”

The men had trouble squeezing in through the doorway all at once. But that didn’t stop them from trying.

“Oh, Adam, I can’t sleep with that infernal barking going on,” Angelica said, and capped her hands over her ears. “And it’s going to wake the boys.”

“All right, sweetheart, I’ll see if I can do something about it.”

Adam pried himself loose from the embracing warmth of the bed and his wife. He would rather be shot point blank than to do this. But the dog was making an awful racket, and Angelica was notorious for taking things into her own hands. However, he got a surprise when he put his feet down. He cocked his head curiously at the warm touch. “Angelica, the floor’s…”

But he got no further because someone started to pound on the bedroom window.

“Oh, now what?” Angelica groaned, and hid her head under her pillow. “Make them stop before they wake the boys. We’ll never get them back to sleep after this.”

Adam’s mouth quirked with disgust, and he tromped to the window and raised it with a jerk. Cold rushed in but it didn’t cool Adam’s temper. “Fonse, what in the world is…?”

“There’s a fire in the main parlor!”

Angelica sat straight up with a jerk, her eyes round as dinner plates.

“You can see it plain as day,” Fonse went on breathlessly.

“Oh, Adam.”

Adam rushed to the door and placed his hand flat against it. Sure enough, it was hot. And he knew better than to open it. He rushed back to his wife and hustled her out of bed. By this time, Juva had joined Fonse at the window.

“Fonse, I’m gonna hand my family out to you and Juva.”

“All right, Boss,” Fonse said and stuck his head inside.

“Angelica, you’ll go first.”

“No, Adam, I…”

He took her face firmly in his hands. “Angel, we don’t have time for this. You go first, and I’ll hand out the boys.”

“But what about you?”

“I can take care of myself,” and he gave her a dimly lit smile.

Adam got her into her robe and slippers then helped her ease out the window. The men – ever mindful that this was the Boss’ wife – were careful where they put their hands. Next the boys, each wrapped in his own blanket. They hardly stirred as their father gathered them up one at a time, and were handed off. But as soon as the cold hit them is started. To be wrenched from their snug bed into the freezing night they wouldn’t tolerate. And their wails mixed with the dog’s barking.

Hastily, Adam chunked his feet into his boots, grabbed his britches and followed. “Take Angelica and the boys out to the yard while I get Maggie!”

“Right, Boss!”

Angelica called after him as he headed for the back of the house. But he didn’t have time to console her.

Even if a herd of cattle had stampeded through her bedroom followed by a whooping war party of Shoshone, Maggie wouldn’t have noticed. Always a sound sleeper, it took more than mere noise to wake her. But jostling was another matter, though it took more than with most. She tried turning away from it, but it was persistent.

“Maggie!”

Finally, her mind became lucid enough until she thought she recognized the voice. As she blinked back sleep, she turned to the agitator. “Mr. Adam?” Her eyes roved over the long form in the shadows. “You’re in your nightshirt…, in me room.” This jarred her out of somnolence.

“The house is on fire!”

She yanked herself upright and crossed herself. “Saints forbid.”

“Angelica and the children are already out. Now let’s go.”

Maggie didn’t have time for prudery. She threw back the covers and swung her bare legs around. From shear habit, her feet found her slippers then Adam hastened her out through the kitchen.

By the time Adam rounded the corner into the front yard with Maggie, the glow in the parlor windows had become substantial. “Why aren’t you trying to fight this?”

“No water,” Juva said with a cursory shrug.

“The troughs is froze solid,” Fonse added. “And so is the pump.”

“What about the one in the cook shack?” Adam asked as he sidled closer to his wife. “It’s nice and warm in there.”

“That’s where Gibby, Wyatt and Linc is now.” Fonse frowned. “They’re fillin’ up buckets. But I don’t see how much good it’s gonna do. We can’t get enough at one time to do any real good.”

“Maybe it’d help if I went into town and got the fire engine to come back with me,” Noah offered.

“Use your head, boy,” Fonse said, and gave him a gouge. “It’d be nothin’ but cinders and ashes by the time you finally got back.”

“Oh, Adam, we can’t just let it burn,” Angelica said as her arms squeezed around little Hiram and Addy.

“We’re not,” Adam said grimly. “At least not all of it.” Then he dashed toward the house and up the front steps.

“Adam! No!”

But her pleas fell on deafness as he burst into the house and vanished into the smoke that escaped as he entered.

Angelica and Maggie stood well back from possible harm with the boys, whose crying had abated but little. Buddy, his barking now silenced, placed himself protectively between the women and babies and the growing threat. Men ran past them carrying buckets.

Water – which were slow in coming – was thrown through the open front doorway. But their attempts were vain at best, and the glow grew.

“I can’t see ‘im no more!” Linc said just as he gave the contents of his bucket a fling.

Juva did the same. “Here he comes!”

Coughing, Adam appeared with the tall-backed blue chair, smoke curling up from both. “Everybody get back! It’s already up the stairs!

“The air gettin’ in when the front door opened musta fed it!” Juva said as he backed away.

Just as the men left the porch, one of the parlor windows blew out, filling the air with silvery shards.

“Anybody hurt?” Adam shouted.

But no one seemed to be.

Angelica felt her own burn as her husband put down his burden. “Adam, that was foolish. Risking your life for a chair.” But she stopped herself before she asked him why. She already knew the answer.

“Look!” one of the men shouted and every eye rose to the second floor.

The fiery beast was really on the move now. Orange goblins danced in the upper windows as if taunting the watchers below. “You can’t stop me now,” it seemed to be saying.

More glass showered the ground and great tongues of flame lapped from the shattered windows toward the sky. The whole scene became surreal and looked like something straight from Dante. Everyone simply stood and watched helplessly as the house gradually succumbed to the blaze. Light gray smoke – spotted here and there with black – wafted upward. A faint breeze kicked up, swirling it into soft eddies.

Adam’s arm squeezed around Angelica’s shoulders as his eyes began to tear. If asked, he would say it was from the heat and smoke. His labor of love for his adored wife was becoming nothing more than a blackened, charred memory. And along with it pretty much everything they owned.

A faint whimper left Angelica, and Adam held her closer to him. But they couldn’t drag their eyes away from the death of their home. No matter how much they wanted to.

THREE

Gibby had never had a woman in his cook shack, but now he found himself with two and three baby boys. And to say he was disconcerted about it would be a mild way of putting it. He had gone into self-imposed exile while the little guys were fed, helping outside until the housekeeper had told him he could come back in. This was, after all, where he slept and spent a large part of his time. And he couldn’t help it that he felt a bit self conscious.

“More coffee, ma’am?”

The missus thanked him as he filled her cup, but the housekeeper declined and went to check on the boys. As he turned to put the pot back on the stove, his eyes strayed to the Cartwright sons sleeping blissfully on his cot in the corner. He had to admit – if only to himself – that they were handsome little gents.

The door opened, allowing the entry of bleak cold, and the Boss came in.

Angelica shot quickly to her feet. “Adam…. Is it…?”

“Gimme a cup of that coffee.”

“Sure thing, Boss.”

Once Adam was well set up and had swallowed an invigorating jolt of the hot brew, he turned to his wife. “We’ve got the fire mostly put out except for a few smoldering spots…, but it’s pretty much gone. A moth couldn’t find safe refuge in there.” He took another swig. “Right after you and Maggie came in here the second floor collapsed…. It’s nothing more than a gutted shell.” He snorted. “One good sneeze would likely bring it all down.”

Angelica wasn’t one for crying in front of the hired help – with the exception of Maggie, whom she considered family – but she couldn’t help herself. And she didn’t care. She slumped back onto the long wooden bench, and slammed her cup onto the rough table. A dark brown pool formed and ran onto her robe tail, but she didn’t worry about that either. She capped her hands over her face, and her muffled sobs filled the space. A part of her life was gone, and she just didn’t care who saw her grief.

With a look from the Boss, Gibby excused himself on the pretext of seeing if the men wanted some coffee. So he gathered up several heavy cups and the pot and went out. Maggie discretely focused all her attention on the boys.

Adam sat down next to Angelica and slid a comforting arm around her shoulders. “It’s all right, Angel. We havta count our blessings. We all got out safely and the boys weren’t hurt.” He gave her a gentle pat. “Houses can be rebuilt, but lives once lost can’t be.”

“I know, but…” Her mournful, deep violet eyes came around to his face. “Our home, Adam. Our house. It’s gone. It’s all gone. The only clothes we have are the ones on our backs. And every stick of furniture.” She sniggered ironically. “Except for one.”

“I’ve been through a lot with that chair. We’re old friends, and I couldn’t just watch it go up with everything else.” He kissed her on the temple and pulled her head down against his chest.

“Our memories, Adam. The beautiful gown I wore when we first met, and my wedding dress. All the Christmas ornaments our families have collected through the years.” Her voice grew strained. “Your mother’s angel.”

“I can manage as long as I didn’t lose my Angel, and my sons.”Her arms squeezed around him, and her weeping picked up momentum again. He stroked back the soft dark brown tendrils that hung about her face, and kissed the top of her head. As he held her and let her cry, his weary eyes rose to the ceiling. And if anyone had bothered to look they would have seen a defeated light in their dark hazel depths that rarely, if ever, inhabited them.

*******

Angelica settled down next to Maggie – the boys in their laps – and kept her gaze away from one of her greatest heartaches. Not even the crackle of cooling wood or something falling to earth could make her look. Receiving a soft pat on the back of her hand, her eyes went to Maggie’s face. There she saw compassion and love and the shared experience and it helped, if only a little.

“As me sainted father always told me, “When the Good Lord closes one door, He opens another.”

“I know.” Angelica heaved a heavy sigh and lowered her gaze to the child snuggled in her lap. “I know.”

With a lurch, the runners shushed over the ground. They were finally going away from this scene of misery. As they rounded the corner of the barn, Angelica could no longer control her eyes. They rose, and she thought her heart would be yanked from her body. My house, she thought, then the barn blocked it from sight, and she hoped she never saw it this way again.

*******

Steve Balasco had gotten up bright and early, as he always did, to head off for work. But these days, since his marriage to his beloved Fiona, it had become progressively harder to leave the house. It had culminated this morning when she had had to practically blow him out with dynamite. He chuckled at the thought as he continued to polish the long mahogany bar in The Wooden Nickel saloon.

This time of morning, only the diehard patrons – mostly drunks and a few lumbermen who hadn’t had the gumption to leave the night before – were there. It was quiet, and he liked this part of the day. Only now, however, the end of it, when he could finally go home, had garnered more appeal than ever.

He had just turned to the large mirror behind the bar when Sheriff Dan Jillian burst in. “Good morning, Dan. You look like you could use a drink.”

“Steve, you better get out here.” Then the sheriff rushed back out before any answer could come.

Steve didn’t want to venture out into the cold, but the urgency in the lawman’s voice and on his face forced him into action.

People lined the boardwalk on either side, their attention focused up the street. Steve’s charcoal eyes followed their gaze, and his stomach went into his feet. A sadder collection of souls he hadn’t seen in a while, if ever. Their attire was a mishmash of day and night clothing. The man’s face, streaked with what looked to be soot, bore lines of fatigue, as did the women’s. And as they drew closer he saw something else. Sorrow, dejection, despair, whatever a person wanted to call it. Either way, he didn’t like it, and it concerned him.

He bounded from the boardwalk and ran to walk alongside the sleigh as it glided ghost-like over the snowy street. “Adam.” His eyes flitted to the women and babies in the back seat. “What happened?”

“The house burnt,” Adam said, his attention never leaving the team. “There’s nothing left…. At least, nothing anybody would want.”

The dark hazel eyes came briefly around to Steve, and they made him gulp. Such a look of defeated resignation he had never seen there before, and it troubled him greatly. “How did it start?”

“I can’t be sure, but it was probably from the fireplace since it started in the parlor. I’m guessing an ember smoldered in a piece of furniture for goodness knows how long before it finally lit. But that’s of little consequence now…. Our house is still gone.”

Steve climbed up onto the sleigh and sat next to him. “I think you could all use some hot coffee and a warm fire.” The menacing look that turned on him made his skin crawl, but he continued. “Fiona would kill me if I didn’t bring you to the house. Dan, would you keep an eye on things for me until I get back?”

“Sure thing!”

Steve turned on the seat and reached out to his sister-in-law. “Are you all right?” His grip tightened on the slim fingers that had begun to tremble.

“No one was hurt, thank Heaven. And the boys pretty much slept through it.” The corners of her delicate mouth curved into the shadow of a smile that went nowhere near her moistened eyes. “And we’ll be all right…, in time.”

Steve gave her hand a reassuring squeeze then put his focus back ahead of them. He dreaded how this would hit Fiona, especially in her current condition.

Fiona Balasco – soon to turn eighteen, and three months along with their first child – usually occupied herself by puttering around the house they lived in while her husband worked. This was the same place she had shared with her mother before Mother’s marriage to Adam’s father. So the familiar surroundings were comforting to her.

She had just finished dusting the little walnut table at the back of the hall to the entry when the front door burst open. The sound of her husband’s voice caused her temper to pique as the cold attacked her back. “Steven Balasco, were you raised in a…?” But the word barn never materialized as she caught sight of the motley group with him. “Angelica! Adam! Maggie!” The dust cloth got a haphazard fling, and she rushed to them, arms wide.

“Steven didn’t think you would mind taking in some refugees,” Angelica said as she hugged her little sister around Addy.

Fiona gave her a peck on the cheek. “You know I don’t.” Her soft gray eyes darted to Steve. “What’s happened? You all look like you’ve just escaped from an ash heap.”

“That’s close enough. Their house burnt down,” Steve said as he pushed the door together. “And I thought we could share ours.”

“Well, not completely down,” Adam corrected as he received an embrace from his sister-in-law, careful not to squish Benjy. “But it’s uninhabitable.”

“Of course we will,” Fiona said as she finished hugging Maggie. “You’ll stay here for as long as you need to.”

“Well, I don’t…” Adam started to protest.

“Oh, let’s not go into that now,” and Fiona gave baby Hi’s cheek a tender caress. “I know you’re all perfectly chilled to the bone, and the kitchen is warm as toast. I’ll make some coffee, and I’m sure you’re famished.” She whirled and headed through the dining room, her feet clipping the hardwood floor. “How do fried ham sandwiches sound?” But she disappeared into the kitchen before anyone could answer.

“We really do appreciate this, Steve,” Adam said and shifted his son in his arms.

“We’re family now, and family should always be there for each other. Now why don’t we all go into the kitchen where it’s nice and warm? And if I know my Fiona, she’ll have everything ready by the time we get in there.” He chuckled. “Since the baby, she’s turned into a little cyclone.” Then he turned square around, and he looked more sheepish than Adam had ever seen him before. “Is it all right if I hold my nephew?”

“Of course it is, “Adam said and handed over the baby to his uncle’s waiting arms.

Steve’s face quickly puckered into a frown. “Which one…?”

Adam allowed himself a reason to smile. “Benjy.”

“Hello, Benjy. You remember your Uncle Steve, don’t you? Why don’t we go see if we can find something to eat? Why don’t we all go?”

This met with hearty agreement and the little family trouped into the kitchen. All except for Adam, who stepped to the front door and looked out into the street past its lace curtains. A heavy inhalation jarred his long frame as the finality of what had happened struck him. The house he had nearly killed himself to build was now nothing more than a burned out skeleton. “Not again.” His head dropped into his hand, and he massaged the ache that had ensconced itself behind his eyes. Then, from behind, gentle hands took hold of his arm. He looked down into those deep purple pools that a man could flounder in and felt some of the sting ease. With all that had been taken; he still had his Angelica – his first light of his life – and his boys. She slipped her arms around him and rested her head against his chest. His hold tightened on her as her tears wet his nightshirt. Never again, he thought.

FOUR

Siddon Banning’s feet pounded the street as he headed toward the center of town. In recent months the big man had begun sporting a full black beard and mustache, which made him all the more imposing. Some even guessed that was why he had grown it. With a light spring – uncharacteristic of someone of such massive build – he hopped up onto the boardwalk. He had a destination in mind, and woe be to whoever tried stopping or slowing him. So, to that end, everyone gave him a wide berth.

The little white house with the sadly weathered paint soon came into sight and the object of his determination became obvious. The gate of the shabby picket fence that edged the yard squeaked as he opened it but drew no attention. He thought to knock, but he didn’t want to take the time it would waste so he went straight inside.

“Make sense, Steve!” drifted out from the kitchen in the form of a flustered baritone. “This house isn’t big enough for all of us! We’ll stay at the Sinclair like I said we would! And that’s final!”

“Not quite,” came from the doorway and all heads swiveled in its direction.

“Siddon!” Adam said and practically leapt forward. He grasped a large hand and pumped it like they hadn’t seen each other in years. “I knew it wouldn’t take long for word to get to you.”

Siddon ignored the obvious compliment. “What’s all this nonsense about you staying in a hotel? You’ll do no such thing. You’ll come stay with us.” He held up his hand. “And before you put up an argument, Carolyn will have my scalp if I go back empty handed. And the girls can hardly wait to get a hold of those babies.”

“I appreciate the offer, Sid, but…”

“No,” Siddon gripped his shoulders firmly, “I said don’t argue, and I meant it. When we get our legs knocked out from under us, we need our friends and family more than ever. It’s not so easy getting up alone.”

“Talk to him, Siddon,” Steve said and tousled his chocolate brown hair, “I can’t get through.”

“Now, I know it will take a while to rebuild,” Siddon went on without missing a beat, “but we have plenty of room.” He tittered. “The only thing is if you can stand all the fuss from Carolyn and the girls. And Giles can be as bad and sometimes worse. So gather yourselves up, and let’s go. Giles was baking when I left, and it smelled just like gingerbread.”

Angelica rose from the table, baby Hi cradled in her arms, and went to her husband. “We obviously can’t stay here, and the hotel is so impersonal, not to mention costly. And don’t you think it would be rude to turn down such a kind offer from such a dear friend?”

Adam looked down at her then at those around him, his eyes finally landing on the broad, affable visage of Siddon Banning. He scratched the top of his head, leaving his raven hair in a ruffle. “It looks like I’m outnumbered.”

“Seriously,” Siddon said with a wicked grin. “So let’s get together what you have and go before Carolyn sends a search party after us.”

A stormy cloud passed over Adam’s face. “The boys’ blankets and what we have on is it. We even had to borrow these coats, and a few other items.”

For the first time, Siddon noticed Angelica’s feet in a pair of worn men’s boots that were obviously too big, but he didn’t let on. “Well, that can be taken care of in short order, and there are plenty of stores in town. And Maggie can even have her own room.”

“Thank you for your kindness, Mr. Banning, and that of your gracious lady, but I think I’ll stay here.” Maggie rested the side of her face against the top of Addy’s head. “They have a spare room, and what with me Fiona being in the mother way, I know she can use the extra help.”

“As you wish, Miss O’Shea,” Siddon said with a polite duck of his head. “But you’re always welcome.”

She thanked him with a slight curtsey.

“Now we’d better get going,” Siddon said and gave Adam a slap on the back. “Carolyn was impatient when I left.” He grimaced. “And you know how she can get from time-to-time.”

Adam returned the friendly slap. “All right, Sid.” He once again looked at those around him. They definitely weren’t alone.

*******

“They’re here!” Fourteen-year-old Juliet Banning squealed from where she watched out the front parlor window. She scampered into the grand entryway – her black ringlets bouncing about her shoulders – just as her mother and older sister came around the winding staircase. “And oh, how those boys have grown!”

Sixteen-year-old Marjorie Banning straightened her dress and fluffed her equally black hair as if about to receive royalty.

“Now, when they get inside, girls, I don’t want you crowding all over them,” Carolyn Banning admonished. “They’ve been through something very devastating, and they need time to catch their breath.”

“We won’t, Mother,” Marjorie said as her sharp, brunette eyes turned on her sister. “Will we, Juliet?”

Juliet’s face scrunched at her sister’s bossiness. “No.”

As if releasing a genie from a bottle, Mason Giles magically appeared and went right to the door. Before anyone could rap the brass knocker, he opened it without any fanfare.

Carolyn’s clear blue eyes welled the second she saw them, and she stifled the gasp that lurked within her. Her elegant fingers bunched on the plum taffeta of her skirt, but she held her ground as they crossed the threshold. “Adam.” She went to him and placed a kiss on the side of his face then touched the downy heads of the boys in his arms. Then she turned to Angelica. “Angelica.” They embraced around baby Hi then she cupped his chin in her hand. “Yes, Juliet, they have most certainly grown. We have a room all ready for you, and the girls’ cradles have been brought in for the boys. Now I know you want to freshen up and have something to eat. Giles, would you please fix a tray for them?”

“Yes, Mrs. Banning,” the houseman said and disappeared down the dark paneled hall that led to the back of the house, the coats Mr. Banning had given him draped over one arm.

“And I have some dresses that I know will just fit you, Angelica.”

A blush covered Angelica’s face and rose to the roots of her disheveled hair. “I can’t take your clothes.”

Carolyn beamed like a summer sun. “Of course you can until you get some of your own. And I know this is no more than you and Adam would do for us. Now, Siddon will see you to your room while the girls and I attend to your meal and other necessities.”

“Hopefully, we won’t have to impose on your hospitality for very long,” Adam said around a discomfited smile.

“Nonsense. You’ll stay here for as long as you need to and be perfectly welcome. Isn’t that so, Siddon?”

“Absolutely.” His dark eyes darted to the boys, who had decided the time had come to get fussy. “Now, we’d better go before those little gentlemen set up a general ruckus.”

Carolyn and her daughters watched as her husband – chattering like a magpie – led them up the stairs.

“Oh, Mother, they look so lost,” Marjorie whispered.

“Yes, dear, they indeed do, but it’s up to us to change that.” She rested her arms around her daughter’s shoulders. If we only can, she thought.

The door to the large bedroom swung open and Siddon entered, his hand still gripping the crystal doorknob. “This one being on the eastern corner of the house, it really catches the morning sun. Of course, you can always draw the draperies to block it out, if you’re a mind to. And being at the back away from the street, it doesn’t get the noise from town so much.”

Angelica stepped into the room, absentmindedly rubbing Hiram’s back. She had been in the house many times, but never in the bedrooms. This was like entering a cathedral. Not that it was any grander than the rest of the house, but it had just become her sanctuary.

“I’ll go and let you five get settled.”

“Thank you, Siddon,” Adam said as he jostled Benjy and Addy, who had gotten crabbier. “And tell Carolyn and the girls…”

“They know, and so does Giles.” He snorted. “In fact, he probably knew before the rest of us.” Then he eased out and closed the door.

“These are beautiful cradles.” Angelica laid Hiram in the one closest to the bed. “I can just see Siddon working for hours on them.” She went sullen as she tucked the baby’s blanket over him. Just like you did with the one for the boys, she thought.

Adam put Benjy and Addy in their separate cradles. “They aren’t gonna like this. They’ve never slept apart.”

“Well, it won’t be for too long. And you know how quickly children can adjust.”

He got down on his knees next to her and they rocked their sons. “I suppose, but…”

She watched him like a hawk as his head drooped. His eyes clamped together and a lone tear squeezed free to run down his weathered cheek. She sat closer to him and rested the side of her face on his full chest while the boys fought sleep.

FIVE

Angelica felt almost human again. The boys had given it a good fight but had lost the battle and were sleeping in their new beds. So she had found time to take a much needed bath and wash the ashy grit from her hair. She hadn’t been able to get mad at Adam’s comment that she had been a little gamey, and only reminded him that he didn’t exactly smell like lavender. He had gone downstairs while she had done hers in the bathroom upstairs.

She sat on the little bench drying her feet when someone knocked lightly at the door. She immediately recognized Carolyn’s voice and bade her enter.

Carolyn’s golden head peeked around the door, and Angelica found herself the focus of an ebullient grin. “I brought you a dress and some underpinnings that I think will fit.”

Angelica clutched the borrowed robe around her. “Come in, come in.”

Carolyn came in with a gown of the most beautiful pale green silk, and frothy lace petticoats and pantalets.

“Oh, I can’t take that,” Angelica said as the woman sat next to her. “That’s one of your best dresses.”

Carolyn gave a slight wave of her hand. “Pish posh. It’s only fabric, thread and hooks. And it’s not like you plan on attending another fire in it.”

Angelica’s fine brows lowered, as did her eyes, but a gentle touch on the back of her hand brought them up again.

“It will get better; you have my word for that.”

“I suppose, but it all seems so…” Angelica’s fingers dug into the soft robe. “Carolyn, we lost everything.”

“Not quite everything. You still have each other and the boys. Houses and clothes and furniture can be replaced. Something like this I don’t look at like the end, but a new beginning. Like it was when you and Adam were first married.” Carolyn threw her head back and a defiant light glittered in her eyes. “Did you know that this isn’t the first house we built?” She sniggered. “Almost built.”

“What happened?”

“It wasn’t far from here.” She shook her head, and her buoyant hair floated on the breeze it produced. “It wasn’t even half completed when a terrible storm took it. The ground washed from beneath it, and we could only watch it drift away with the wild current…. But Siddon isn’t one to just give in to defeat – as I know Adam isn’t – so he changed the location and built this one. There wasn’t even a town then, only a few crude buildings and some tents. It kind of sprang up around our home.”

“I know you’re right, but… I’ve seen something in Adam’s eyes today that’s never been there before…. I don’t know if I would call it defeat, but it scares me.”

Carolyn gave another pat. “You’re just upset and seeing what probably isn’t there. After all you’ve been through in the past hours, it’s not surprising and totally normal.” She wafted to her feet. “Now, you go ahead and get dressed then you can come down to the dining room. We’ll have some tea and gingerbread and talk some more.”

“Where is Adam?”

“He and Siddon went out to assess the damage to the house. They probably won’t be gone long.”

“How long ago did they leave?”

“As soon as Adam came downstairs. He didn’t even bother taking his bath. He said he didn’t really have time, and he would only get dirty again. Now, I’ll leave you to your dressing.” Her mouth curved more than ever. “You’ll get through this just fine because you have Adam and the boys to get through it with.” Then she went out and closed the door.

Carolyn’s encouragement played over in Angelica’s head. She wanted to believe everything she had been told, but she couldn’t escape from those disquieting hazel eyes. And she wondered if she could do anything to remove the despondency she had seen there.

*******

Chris McCutcheon turned from his chore as the sleigh glided into the front yard. The sound of the axe biting into the wood he chopped for Gibby’s stove had hidden the sound. But movement at the edge of his peripheral vision made him stop and look up.

With the tool clutched in his fist he went to greet the Boss and Mr. Banning as the horse was reined up in front of the barn. “Mornin’, Mr. Banning.”

“Good morning, Chris,” Siddon said brightly as he alit from the sleigh. “You’re looking fit. And how’s our little girl these days?”

“Amelia’s doin’ just fine, though the baby does keep her with her head over the chamber pot more ‘n we both like. And she hasn’t been straying far from home these days.”

“That’s comes as no real surprise. Her mother was the same way with her.”

Adam parted himself from them – his face grim as the reaper – and went to stand before the charred façade of his house. Chris stepped next to Siddon. His teal eyes went to his father-in-law and were met with a frown and a shake of the head.

“How long’s it been doing this?” Adam asked as his gaze went to each shattered window of the upper story.

“After it really started to cool down,” Chris said as he and Siddon stood on either side of Adam. “Juva says it sounds like a tortured soul, creakin’ and moanin’ the way it is.”

Adam’s hands clenched and unclenched at his sides, and the corners of his mouth pinched. Then, without announcing it, he started up the sooty steps.

“What’re you doing?” Siddon asked as he gripped his friend’s arm. The endless black eyes that set on him made his heart thump.

“I’m going inside. I need to know how much damage has been done.”

“Oh, Adam, that’s obvious. And it isn’t safe.”

Adam wrenched his arm away. “Then you and Chris stay out here.”

Siddon knew he couldn’t just stand there and watch his friend enter this deathtrap alone. He went up onto the porch and it groaned beneath their combined weight. “We’ll go in together.”

“Siddon, you don’t…”

“What’re friends for?”

“I’ll go, too.”

“No, Chris, you stay out here,” Siddon said with a slight scowl. “The fewer that have to get out in a hurry, if it comes to that, the better.”

Chris only nodded but didn’t back away.

Adam opened the front door and the hinges screeched like the three Shakespearian witches. The odor of burnt assailed his nostrils and seemed to wrap around him like a oppressive shroud. He had forced himself to do many difficult things in his life, and this by far had to be one of the hardest. His boots, then Siddon’s shoes, crunched in the blistered and blackened debris that had once been pine floors and the finest furniture imported from New York and Chicago. The heavy garnet draperies that had once graced the front parlor windows had been jerked away as the upper floor had collapsed. The pale morning sunlight poured in through the windows – many without panes – and added its ashen pallor to what was already somber and dead.

Adam eased farther into the room, his eyes darting about him like a dragonfly. The hope that he would find something that wasn’t burned dwindled as he moved warily toward what had been his and Angelica’s bedroom. The groaning of the walls had become incessant and tantamount to wailing.

“Adam, I think we really should consider getting out of here.”

“In a minute, Sid, I want…”

“I know what you’re looking for, and you’re wasting your time. I’ve been in houses gutted by fire before, and this is as complete as I’ve ever seen.

But Adam ignored the advice and opened the nearly burnt away door to the bedroom. This room hadn’t had the second floor above it so the devastation in here wasn’t so complete. In fact, it was more smoked than burned. The window still hung open as evidence of their hasty flight. The bed and his sons’ cradle were scorched beyond use. The fire had taken the dresser, but the big wardrobe in the corner appeared nearly untouched.

Siddon’s grip on his shoulder caused Adam to stiffen. His stomach knotted, and the stench of burned wood threatened him with nausea. He started to say he was all right, but he knew that to be a lie so he held his tongue.

They turned back into what would have been the parlor. Adam’s eyes drifted to where the staircase, with its polished balustrade, had once been. He recalled how he had worked way into the wee hours of the night on it, and the love for his wife that he had poured into it. Many times he had seen her elegant hand glide over its smooth surface, and the image now pinched his heart.

Then, with the sudden violence of a cannon barrage, shingles from the roof started to rain down. Tiny holes – which quickly grew into larger ones – appeared in the walls. The house was coming down around them. And the shout from Siddon was unnecessary. “Run!”

They dashed forward as if fired from a gun. Siddon made it through the front doorway first with Adam right at his heels. The big man bolted down the steps while his leaner friend jumped straight off the edge of the porch.

Panting from their strenuous escape, Adam and Siddon whirled in the comparative safety of the yard. Chris and the rest of the men gathered around them, and they all watched as the house finally succumbed to its mortal injuries.

Adam had to be dragged back to a safer distance lest something strike him. But he didn’t really care if it did. Then maybe he would be out of his misery. His eyes misted as he saw all the hopes, dreams, and memories that belonged to him and his dearest Angelica crash into a heap. When the dust and ash had settled enough, they saw that only the back bedroom and a small part of the kitchen and Maggie’s room were left standing. And he didn’t even feel the consolatory pat on his back.

*******

Angelica sat in an elegant chair brought all the way from Paris in the Banning’s front parlor. She couldn’t help the involuntary smile that curved her mouth. Marjorie and Juliet were in the floor playing with the boys. It still amazed her how fast they could crawl, and Addy had a real knack for pulling himself up. It made life even more of an adventure keeping them out of things. And they loved that big dirty dog more than she wished they did.

She started to rub the side of her neck. With each day that passed, she saw them grow to look more and more like Adam. It was now evident that they would have the same dark hazel eyes, and not their mother’s deep violet. Their hair – shaggy right now for need of a trim – shone like lumps of coal in the light. They had the same finely sculpted mouth that she worshiped, and were the color of soft leather. Yes, they were their daddy’s boys. And while she could deny they were hers, he never could.

The big front door opened out in the entryway. There were no voices, but it was obvious what was going on.

Carolyn rose from the swan-armed rocking chair in the corner. Her dress and petticoats swished over the floral-patterned carpet as she went to open the double doors that led out to the foyer.

So engrossed in watching the children, Angelica was aware of little else. She didn’t even seem to hear the muffled thump of boots behind her. Then she went perfectly still and found it impossible to look up. A bundle of wadded rose satin and pale pink tulle was placed in her lap. Her fingers hovered over it as if she were afraid to touch it. It smelled of smoke, yet still conjured up such wonderful visions. Once again she was gliding across the floor of the big roughhewn log house on the Ponderosa in Adam’s arms on that first night.

Her gaze trailed up to his face, and it was so forlorn that she wanted to cry out and fling her arms around him. “I thought everything was gone. Where did…? How?”

Adam crouched next to her. “Our bedroom is about all that’s left. The big wardrobe was hardly touched.” He smiled reassuringly. “It’s as if it was protecting this for you.”

Angelica’s attention returned to the precious gown. Had it really survived? Her hands bunched in the crisp satin, and her fingertips ached with the touch. With a sudden whimper, she slumped forward and hid her face in the smoky fabric, and the tulle flounces fluffed about her head.

Adam rubbed his hand along her back and let her cry, much as it tortured him. She needed to get out what he couldn’t seem to.

Addy crawled over to his parents and used his father’s leg to pull himself up. Strong arms gathered him into them, and held him close to the familiar body that smelled somehow different than it ever had. His dark, alert eyes went from the one who held him then to the one making that odd sound.

Siddon and Carolyn stood in the open doorway, his arm about her waist. She daubed a lace-edged hankie at her eyes then sniffled into it. Siddon blinked hard, but it couldn’t disguise the fact that that his wife wasn’t the only one moved to tears.

Adam leaned forward, and one arm went around Angelica, their son between them. He leaned his head against hers and spoke softly into her ear. But her sobbing continued, unabated.

*******

That night, the displaced family cuddled in the big mahogany bed, three baby boys snuggled warm and content between their parents. The subtle gray light from outside cast from the snow filled the room with faint shadows. An owl hooted in the dense stand of pines just down from the back of the house, but no one heard it. The first day away from their home had finally come to an end, and the pain had temporarily been put aside.

SIX

The gradual sensation of wakefulness seeped into Angelica’s sleepy brain. She stretched the stiffened muscles in her back, and a baby nuzzled closer to her. Her eyelids batted – heavily at first – then slowly opened. The room was still dark, though maybe not as much as it had been when they went to bed. Carefully, she freed her right arm, and it groped out to Adam’s side of the bed, but she found it vacant with no trace of warmth. “Adam,” came on a whisper, but the room remained silent. Her head sank deeper into the pillow, and a tear ran down the side of her face and into her hair. She hadn’t needed to call out to him. She knew he wasn’t there.

*******

Angelica floated down the grand staircase like a candy pink and white striped cloud. And not because she felt all that light, she wanted to find Adam. Being more well-rounded than Carolyn, a byproduct of giving birth not so awfully long ago, this dress was also a snug fit. And she hoped she didn’t pop any of its seams. Her shoes – borrowed as well, and also snug – clacked the treads as she hurried down.

Carolyn always oversaw the preparation of meals, and not because she didn’t trust Giles’ judgment implicitly. But, as mistress of the house, she felt it her duty to see that everything was done to her standards. Being the wife of a powerful and influential man demanded as much. Guests had never been given reason to complain or gossip, and – as long as she was able – they never would.

Carolyn looked around just as Angelica came into the kitchen. “Good morning. You look bright and refreshed this morning. Are you hungry?”

Angelica’s eyes scoured the room as if she hadn’t heard the question.

“Are the boys still sleeping?”

“No, Juliet and Marjorie are with them. Where’s Adam?”

Some of the brightness faded from Carolyn’s demeanor. “He left nearly half-an-hour ago. And Siddon went with him, much to Adam’s protestations.”

“Did he go back to the house?”

Carolyn swallowed hard when Angelica’s troubled turned to her. She nodded. “He said he wanted to see if he could find anything else that could be salvaged.” She stepped to Angelica and lightly touched her arm. “Don’t worry, Siddon’s with him. And all the ranch hands are there. They won’t let anything happen to him.”

“I’m afraid it already has.” Then she twirled and hastened back out.

Carolyn felt as if she had been punched. “Angelica!” She rushed out after her, her skirt gathered in her hands. “Angelica, wait!”

She found her friend in the expansive ballroom. Angelica stood – shoulders slumped – near the dais where the musicians always played. Treading lightly across the gleaming mahogany floor, she went across the room. “Angelica.” As Carolyn placed a hand on her back she could feel the minute shuddering. “Angelica, look at me.”

It seemed to take forever for Angelica to turn to her. The rims of her eyes were reddened, and her cheeks were wet and glistened in the dreary light that entered through the French doors.

“What did you mean that it already has? Did he say something to you to make you believe that?”

“No.”

“Then I wouldn’t worry. Adam is a strong man, and it’s only going on two days. I think you’re just divining something from this that it is too soon to…”

“But it isn’t too soon. I’ve lived with him for close to a year-and-a-half, and I have learned him so well. He’s like no other man I’ve ever met…, and I know he isn’t taking this well.”

“What man would? Are you?”

“Could any woman who has seen her home go up in flames? But we aren’t talking about me…. Oh, Carolyn, I saw something in his eyes last night that has never been there before, and it frightened me.”

Carolyn reached out and took her hand. “I think you’re just seeing in Adam what you are feeling. Your whole life has changed in a way that none of us try to think about. And you wouldn’t be human if what could have been didn’t frighten you to death. It’s only natural.”

“I wish I could believe that…, but you didn’t see what I did. You didn’t hear it in his voice more than in his words. And you’re right…. I am afraid, so very afraid.” Angelica buried her face in her hands. “I can’t let this destroy my family.”

Carolyn held her and tried to soothe away some of the dread. “Adam is too much of a fighter to let that happen, and, for that matter, so are you. I think in the end, you’ll find that you are both stronger than either of you realize. Now, after breakfast, why don’t you and I go into town and buy some pretty things? It’s amazing what a new hat or a piece of lace can do to lift a woman’s spirits. And taffeta is a master at taming tears.”
Angelica looked at her with a feeble snicker as she wiped a cheek. “And before I pop out of one of your dresses that you have so kindly loaned me.”

“We women must stick together in times like this. You’re welcome to everything I have, you know that, but it’s always better to have our own.” She leaned closer and discreetly lowered her voice. “And I have a very good relationship with the milliners and dressmakers.”

“Mrs. Banning,” Giles said as he appeared in the wide doorway, “breakfast is ready.”

“Thank you, Giles, we’ll be right along.”

A smile lit his angular face then he ducked his head politely and left them.

Carolyn pulled a handkerchief from her sleeve and began to pat Angelica’s face dry. “Giles made some of his wonderful sausage gravy and sage scones.” She wrinkled her nose and sniffed demurely. “And you haven’t lived until you have eaten one of his omelets.”

“Now that I give it some serious thought, I am hungry.”

“And there are a lot of shops in Bantree, so we need all the fortification we can get. Now let’s go eat while it’s still hot. I have eaten cold gravy a few times in my life, and it isn’t something that I am apt to forget.”

Angelica’s nose wrinkled and they shared a girlish giggle then left the big room.

*******

Alphonse Sweet stood in the open doorway of the large barn – a sledge hammer gripped in his hands – watching the Boss rummaging through the ruins of the house.

“What’re you standing here for?” Chris asked as he came out behind him. “The Boss needs that hammer.”

“My Mama always taught me never to punch a sleepin’ bear,” Fonse’s leathery face scrunched, “and he’s got as grumpy as the meanest grizzly I ever seen.”

“And he’s gonna get a lot grumpier and take the hide off your back if you don’t get that hammer to him.” Chris put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “He don’t mean nothin’ by it, and it ain’t altogether like the man.” He swiped at a caramel-colored wisp that hung over his forehead as his eyes went to the Boss. “But he’s plumb nigh lost everything, and it’s tellin’ on him. He’s too sensitive for his own good, and it works him up when most others wouldn’t give it a second think through. Now you best…”

But a crash and the splintering of wood closely followed by Siddon’s booming voice cut them off. Fonse dropped the sledge with a resounding thud, and he and Chris rushed forward. They raced across the porch into the parlor and crouched on either side of the big man, and the floor registered more complaints.

“Careful or you could bring the rest of it down on top of him,” Siddon warned with a wave of his hand. “The main floor is pretty much burned away, and we’re standing on the second floor.” He peered back through the jagged hole in the blackened floorboards. “Adam, are you all right?”

Ash and soot continued to filter through the hole and only added to the gloominess under the remains of the house.

“Adam,” Siddon said as he tried to fan the air clear, “can you hear me?”

“Yeah…, I hear you,” said the husky baritone, punctuated by several grunts and a couple coughs.

Siddon’s eyes narrowed as he strained to catch sight of him. “I can’t see you.”

“I can’t see me either,” the baritone retorted.

“Are you hurt?”

“Mainly my pride.”

“Can you climb back up, Boss?” Chris asked.

“I’m not even gonna try. I’ll just remove the latticework on the front of the porch and come out that way.

They could hear the scuff of his feet and discern only faint movement. Again the floor complained as they rose and hurried out onto the porch. Adam had just come out from under the house as they came down into the yard. By this time the rest of the men had joined them.

“You look like you’ve been playing in the fireplace, Boss,” Linc said, casually.

Adam’s eyes rose as he swatted the dirt from his clothes. “I feel more like it fell on me.”

“You’re face is bleeding,” Siddon said with a mild wince

“I’d already pretty much guessed something was.” Adam took a bandana from a back britches pocket and swiped it over his face.

“Here,” Siddon said and snatched it away from him. “You’re only making matters worse. Somebody bring me some water.”

“I’m all right, Sid.” Adam tried to push his hands away.

“Only by Divine Grace. So you won’t tempt any more Fate by going back in there.” Someone handed him a canteen, and he wet the grimy cloth. “Granted, you’re like a cat, but even a cat only has nine lives.” He carefully daubed at a scraped cheekbone. “And I suspect you’ve expended a goodly part of yours.”

“Please stop fussing.” Adam tried once more to push Siddon’s hands away. “You’re behaving like my father.”

“And that I take as a compliment.” He gave Adam’s hand a swat and went on about his business. “Can you imagine what it would do to Angelica if I took you back to her, broken up like a china figurine?”

This stopped Adam’s attempts to impede Siddon’s efforts.

“Now we’ll go back to the house, and before you even open your mouth, let is sink in that you could’ve made your wife a widow and left your sons fatherless.”

Adam frowned, and the corners of his mouth deepened. “All right.” He held up one finger. “This once, but….”

“No buts about it.” Siddon slammed the bandana to the ground. “And if I have to, to keep you from committing suicide, I’ll come out here and burn what’s left right down to the ground. I thought I’d lost you once before, and I’m not eager to have it happen for real. So if I have to tie you to a bedpost, I will. And I’m sure Angelica will gladly supply the rope.”

Adam produced a lopsided grin, but it didn’t touch his eyes. “All right, Sid, if it’ll make you happy. But don’t get the idea that I’m always gonna give in to you.” He rubbed at his back and grimaced. “I simply ache too much to want to argue with you about it.”

“Fine. I’ll take what I can get.” Siddon steered him toward the parked sleigh. “We should get back just in time for dinner and a cup of Giles’ hot coffee.”

The men clustered together and watched them walk away.

“I thought for sure we’d lost him this time,” Juva said, as he leaned close to Chris.

Chris fought against the image of a coffin he had helped to lower into the ground. His hands made hard fists, and he thrust them into his coat pockets. “I only hope that time is long in coming.” Then he turned with a jerk and walked to the barn.

SEVEN

Angelica, for the first time since the fire, let herself enjoy herself, though the flames still licked at the edges of her mind. She had splurged maybe a trifle more than she new she should. But everything had been so enticing, and Carolyn made the perfect shopping companion. And now she felt almost naughty as she fastened the back of the lilac moiré dress. “We both know I shouldn’t have bought as much as I did.”

“Pish posh,” Carolyn said from where she sat on the side of the bed and bounced Benjy on her knees. “You deserve this, and Adam would never deny it to you.”

“I know, but I still feel guilty.”

“Well, you shouldn’t. Now step out here so we can see.”

“All right, here I come.”

The dress rustled softly as Angelica stepped from behind the Japanese screen.

“Oh, Angelica, you look like a princess,” Juliet gushed. She no longer noticed Addy playing with the locket around her neck.

“Hardly that,” Angelica said as she fluffed the fine ecru lace around the yoke. “But I do feel more womanly in it. And it fits like a glove.”

“I’ve known for some time that Grace Warring is the finest seamstress in Bantree. And she’s the only one that always has extra dresses that she has made in the back. And this one does fit perfectly. Turn around.”

Angelica whirled and the skirt flirted above the hems of the petticoat so that it peeked teasingly from beneath.

“Adam is going to fall in love with you all over again when he sees you,” Marjorie said as her arms tightened around Hiram.

“He has never fallen out of love with her,” her mother said with a sly glance at her daughter. “But this certainly will add to it.”

Just then someone knocked.

“I’ll get that,” Marjorie said as she rose from the chair. She settled Hiram on her hip and went to the bedroom door. There was a barely audible exchange then she turned back into the room. “Mother, Giles needs to talk to you.”

Carolyn allowed her eyes to flick to Angelica then she went to see what he wanted. There was another hushed exchange then he left, and she handed Benjy over to Marjorie. “Girls, I want you to stay up here and tend to the boys while Angelica and I go down to the dining room.”

“Is something wrong?” Marjorie asked as she sat on the bed with Benjy and Hiram.

“Just stay up here with the boys. I’ll tell you all about it later.”

Angelica felt sudden trepidation wash over her. She didn’t know what it could be, but she instinctively knew it had something to do with Adam. “What is it?”

Carolyn took her hands. “I need for you to come downstairs with me.”

An invisible noose tightened on Angelica’s throat, but it couldn’t sequester the whimper that left her. “Carolyn, what is…?”

“Everything is all right. Just come with me.”

Carolyn tried to keep up with her as she bustled from the room in a flurry of lace and ruffles.

Adam looked around – his face cleaned, and the scrape on his cheek dressed – as his wife filled the doorway. He grimaced. He was in for it, and he knew it. And, though he would never admit it, he guessed that maybe he deserved what was about to come.

“Adam!” Angelica ran to him and fell onto her knees before him, the dress’ skirt forming a pale purple froth about her. She reached out to touch his injured face, and it made her hurt. Her questioning eyes rose to the big man standing behind him. “Siddon, what happened?”

“He was stomping around in what was left of the house, and the floor gave away with him. I made a grab, but it all happened so fast.”

“I’m all right, Angel.” A sardonic grin turned the finely sculpted mouth. “It wasn’t the fall that....”

“That hurt you, I know. It was the abrupt stop.” Her lips drew into an aggravated bow. “That has never been a funny joke, and it isn’t one bit funny this time either! Adam Cartwright, you could have killed yourself! Don’t you ever think before you do these things?”

He put a hand flat against the side of her face, and the grin softened into a smile, though it was tinged more with sadness than mirth. “I’m sorry.”

She felt as if he had slapped her. It wasn’t so much what he had just said as the tone, and the look in those bottomless hazel wells. And, while he had apologized to her while they were alone, he hadn’t made a practice of it in the presence of others. At least, not so they could hear. So now, more than ever, she knew that something was decidedly wrong with her Adam.

She gripped his hand and leaned into it. “Don’t apologize – just promise me you won’t go back in there.”

“Angelica.”

“Promise me. That house tried to take you from me once before, and I won’t let it do it now, so promise me.

His ardent gaze roved over her as if seeing her for the first time. “That dress brings out the purple in your eyes.”

Angelica sank back, her legs folded under her. Disarmed. How did he always manage to find the right words to do that to a person? Her full bosom swelled with a heavy sigh. She had already made enough outbursts in front of others in the past twenty-four hours, give-or-take, and she did, after all, have her dignity. So, for now, he would escape another until they were in the privacy of their own room.

*******

The rest of the day had gone well enough, and Adam hadn’t returned to their ranch. He had kept pretty much to himself, and seemed to deliberately avoid Angelica whenever possible. Supper had been protracted and subdued with little in the way of conversation, though the Bannings had tried starting one more than once. She hadn’t really noticed what she was eating, but she couldn’t help but to be aware of Siddon’s and Carolyn’s eyes constantly darting between her and Adam.

Now she watched her husband from the bed as he let the oversized nightshirt drop over his head. He slid his arms into the sleeves, but he seemed to intentionally keep his back to her. The boys, exhausted from their big day, were asleep close to her, waiting for their father to close them safely in on the other side.

“I’m still mad at you, you know? And if I thought it would help, I would give my sternest rebuke. Do you think I should?” He finally turned to face her, and his expression made her gulp. “Adam, what is it? You look as if you’ve just lost your dearest friend. And all day long you’ve been silent as a graveyard.”

Adam came and sat on the bed. “Do you blame me for any of this?”

Her chin dropped, and her mouth flew agape. “Of course I don’t. Why would you even ask such a thing?”

His eyes lowered. “I can’t get away from the fact that I didn’t know what was going on. If it hadn’t been for Buddy alerting the men… we could have all died.” He lightly stroked one of the small black-capped heads, but the baby didn’t move. “I didn’t even protect my wife and sons. And if I hadn’t built so far from town…”

She reached over the sleeping babies and pressed her fingertips against his lips. “Hush…. I’ll not listen to that kind of self recriminating talk. You have been the kind of husband every woman wishes for. And you have fulfilled me as a wife…” her eyes twinkled seductively, “…and a woman. You have given me so much, not the least of which is three fine sons. With all that, what more could I possibly want or ask for?”

He pulled her hand away and tenderly kissed the inside of her wrist, but he still refused to look at her. “And you have made me the happiest man in the world… but to that end, I fear I have let you down.”

She freed her hand from his grasp, and – placing a finger under his chin – lifted his head to her. “For such an intelligent man, you sometimes say the most unintelligent things. You have never let me down, and I know you never will.” She pushed back the black hank that had characteristically fallen over his forehead. “When I was a child, I always dreamed of living in Camelot and finding my gallant knight. Well, I have. You are my knight in shining armor, Adam Stoddard Cartwright, and I love you all the more for your idiosyncrasies. And I don’t ever want to hear you talk this way again. Do you hear me?” She brushed the backs of her fingers softly over the scrape on his cheek. “You will feel better in a few days.”

His face became more solemn, and once again his eyes left her face. “I know I will when we leave here.”

Angelica’s heart pounded so hard that it hurt. “The Bannings?”

The eyes of a severely scolded little boy rose to her, and she tried not to gasp.

“Nevada…. I’ve decided that we should go live in Boston.”

Her rapid breathing dammed up the words in her throat at first. “Boston! Oh, Adam, you’re being too hasty. I know you’re upset over all this, but you can’t make such an important decision so quickly, and under such duress.”

“Are you saying you won’t go?”

“Of course I’ll go, if that’s what truly you want. But you need to give it some time before doing something as drastic as leaving the home you’ve known most your life. Would you even be happy there?”

“I lived there for four years when I was attending college, and I liked it very much. I debated with myself whether I wanted to return here. If I hadn’t thought that Pa needed me, I doubt I would have.”

“Then why did you stay after we were married?”

“Habit, I suppose. And I wanted to make you happy.”

“I am. But I thought you loved it here.”

“I do, to some extent. There’s no other place like it on Earth, but it’s too wild and uncivilized for raising a family and keeping a wife.”

“Siddon has done very well at it.”

“Siddon is like King Midas. Everything he touches turns to gold. But my father lost two wives to it…”

“And one in Boston.”

“True but that was almost thirty-seven years ago. Things have changed since then.”

“All right, suppose we do go, what then? How would you make a living? What would you do to make money?”

For a second, his eyes snapped away from her. “I thought I would become an architect.”

“An architect? After this way of life would you be happy with that?”

“I don’t know, but I’m willing to find out. And I know of a fine architecture firm in the city where I could probably get a job, at least until I could start my own.” He reached out and lightly touched her face. “Please don’t tell anybody about all this. I will when I think it’s time.”

“I won’t. But, Adam, don’t you think…”

He leaned forward and smothered her lips with his. She welcomed the opportunity to escape from those beaten eyes as her own closed, and she let herself sink into his kiss. At this stage, she realized that arguing with him would do no good. He was experiencing doubt in himself, and she knew that, for the present, she couldn’t say anything that would alter it. She would have to give it some time, and hope that she could eventually talk him out of making the biggest mistake of his life. And if she couldn’t, maybe Siddon could.

EIGHT

Siddon’s concern for his friend’s wellbeing had grown exponentially over the past three days. He had seen Adam sull up like an old possum over a thing that troubled him before, but never anything like this. And it confounded and distressed the big man to no end. So, he had decided that, with Angelica’s enthusiastic agreement, a good tramp through the woods with loaded shotguns in search of fair game would get Adam to talking. At least, he hoped it would.

A muted sun hardly put a dent in the glacial shade of blue that seemed to pervade everything. And the air sparkled with tiny ice crystals that floated in it like ethereal nymphs. The dry snow crunched under booted feet as the two men – swathed in mufflers and heavy coats – tromped through the trees like two bears.

They had been walking for around twenty minutes, Siddon guessed, and Adam still hadn’t said anything. So, in his usual bull in a china shop manner, Siddon forged on. “You know, if we were to get started on the framing now, we could probably have a house built for you and Angelica and the boys before too awful long. We have plenty of willing manpower and…”

“That won’t be necessary,” Adam said dully, without looking around.

“Not necessary? Where do plan on living? In a cave?”

“Boston.”

That single word shattered the pristine landscape as the most devastating explosion would. Stunned, Siddon stopped dead as if he had just walked into an invisible wall.

Adam kept going, but finally stopped a couple feet ahead and turned to him. Siddon hadn’t seen a longer face on any bloodhound, and it shot straight into him.

“Do I even need to ask what brought on this sudden decision to leave?”

“It’s not so sudden. I’ve been thinking about it for a few days.”

“Does Angelica know about this?”

“Yes, I’ve told her.”

“And what does she think about it?”

“She’ll go where her husband is.”

Siddon felt something crack inside his head and it spread heat throughout his body. His grip tightened on the shotgun, and he stomped over to him, the muscles in his face turning to stone. “That’s a selfish way to look at it. Have you even asked her if this is what she wants?”

The pupils of Adam’s eyes swallowed up most of the hazel. “She knows that I’m doing it for her and the boys.”

“Bah! You’re doing it for you! You’ve built up this guilt over something you couldn’t see coming, and you’re letting it eat you up! Just like you always do! And when you get a thing in your head, there’s no talking to you! So why am I wasting my breath?” With a jerk he started to walk away but spun back on him. “You know, we’re friends, but sometimes I feel like wrapping one of these around your hard head!” and he shook the weapon in the air. “Now, are we gonna go shoot pheasants or each other?”

“That’s up to you.”

Siddon glanced down at the gun in his hand. “I did promise Giles pheasant.” He huffed. “I suppose we ought to go get him one or two.”

“I suppose.”

Adam trod on in silence while Siddon trailed along behind.

Siddon wasn’t in the habit of jumping at people that way, but he had hoped it would force Adam to take a better look at what he was doing. It hadn’t. Plus, he had lost his temper, again, and he felt like a first class cad. “Adam, I shouldn’t have yelled at you that way. I know this is hard enough on you as it is…, and I didn’t help.” His eyes narrowed. “You mad me?”

Adam kept going and didn’t look back. “No need to be. I’d do the same for you.”

Siddon’s mouth set. Adam had seen right through his little ploy – even the temper part of it – and took it in stride. When would he ever learn? This small setback, however, didn’t mean he would stop trying.

******

Angelica and Carolyn had just met at the base of the stairs when Marjorie and Juliet came into the entryway, each holding a baby.

“You didn’t find him,” Carolyn stated more than asked as her eyes darted from one daughter to the other.

“And we have looked everywhere we could think of,” Marjorie said as she shifted Hiram in her arms.

“Oh, that boy. He can get into more mischief than both his brothers put together,” Angelica said and wrung her hands together.

Carolyn gave her a reassuring pat. “We will find him. How far could he crawl?”

Just then they were joined by a young woman in a long apron, and dark, wavy strands of hair hung from under the white mob cap she wore.

“Yes, Patsy, what is it?” Carolyn asked.

“Mr. Giles wants you to come in the kitchen.”

“Well, whatever it is, he’ll just have to take care of it himself,” Carolyn said as she took in the servant.

“Ma’am, he said for all of you to come right away.”

“Addy,” Angelica breathed.

One corner of Patsy’s mouth turned ever so slightly. “This you gotta see.”

As Pasty led the way along the dark-paneled hall, they all trooped to the kitchen. When they entered they found Giles standing off to the side. The other two kitchen servants were busy with the current meal, but something continually drew their attention away from their chores and elicited grins. The women moved deeper into the room and followed Giles’ line of sight.

“Addy!”

Nine-month-old Addy Cartwright had discovered the small fireplace that hardly anyone used any more. And it obviously hadn’t been cleaned out in some while. He looked around at his new audience and beamed at his discovery. Soft and easy to get fingers into, the soot puffed beautifully when slapped.

“How long has he been in there?” Carolyn asked as her attention focused on Giles.

“Don’t rightly know, ma’am. We’ve been real busy. We didn’t even know he was here until I turned around to get some flour, and there he was, having the time of his life.”

Angelica got down into the floor before the hearth and watched her son.

Addy gave a smack with both hands and black powder whiffed into the air. He looked at his mother – as if for her approval – and laughed gleefully.

Angelica wanted to laugh, too, but thoughts of the cleanup ahead stopped her. “It’ll take fifty buckets of water and a pound of soap to get him clean.”

Carolyn put a hand over her mouth and hide her amusement behind it. “Well, we have plenty of both.”

“I think that’s enough playtime, young man.” Angelica stood and bent at the waist. She put her hands under the baby’s armpits and lifted him but held him at arm’s length. “It’s time for a bath.”

Addy just looked at her, then that finely sculpted little mouth spread, and he laughed uproariously and kicked his legs. It was contagious and no one else in the kitchen held back.

“I’ll heat some water,” Giles said then went to the pantry and came out with three large mixing bowls.

*******

Adam had just come in through the back door when the sound of splashes and a mixture of baby and girlish giggles reached him. He stomped the snow from his boots, and Siddon came in behind him with two fine, fat pheasants.

“Isn’t it a bit early in the day for their bathes?” Adam asked as he pushed the door together behind him.

Angelica looked at him dubiously. “This is out of necessity.” Addy slapped his hands into the water and it soaked the front of his mother’s long apron. “Your oldest son discovered what a wonderful plaything soot can be.”

The men’s eyes shot to the little fireplace, and Siddon laughed boisterously.

“Thank you, Addy. That has needed a good cleaning for a while.” Siddon handed the birds to Giles. “Here you go, Mace. Just like I promised.”

Giles thanked him and took them into the pantry.

Adam handed his shotgun to Siddon then went to stand by his wife.

“You should have seen him. He was covered in it. He even had it in his hair – though you couldn’t really see it – and that gown is worthless now.”

Adam looked at his other two sons in their respective bowls. “Did they get into it with him?”

“No,” Juliet spoke up just as Hiram gave her a good splatter, “but Angelica thought they would enjoy it, too.”

For the first time in days, Adam felt like laughing, and a subdued one left him. “My boys.”

“Unless I miss my guess,” Siddon said, as he stepped up behind him, “right now Addy is yours and the other two belong to their mother.”

Carolyn had just come into the kitchen with clean baby gowns and diapers and three towels draped over her arm. “You should know.”

Siddon grimaced. “Marjorie and Juliet once discovered a basket of rotten eggs that hadn’t been thrown out yet.” His eyes went to his girls. “They had that in their hair, too.”

“Oh, Daddy,” Marjorie chastised as she rinsed soap from Benjy’s head.

“Bawl me out all you want to, sweetheart. But all three of us spent that night on the settee.”

Now he found himself chastised by his wife, but her eyes said it in silence.

“Here,” Angelica said and thrust a towel into Adam’s hands. “You can dry your son.”

She took Addy from his bath and let him drip back into the bowl then handed him to his father. Adam wrapped the towel around him and held him to his chest. Dark eyes met dark eyes, and Adam felt his heartbeat quicken. What he could have lost. The baby reached out and touched his cheek with damp fingers and smiled.

Angelica turned from removing the last baby from his bath and wanted to cry when she saw them. Adam’s expression spoke volumes, and she guessed at what he was in his mind. They had all come so close, and would have, in all likelihood, died, if not for Buddy’s frantic barking. Her eyes went to Siddon, and all she got was a somber headshake, and she felt cold and hollow. She loved it out here and had no desire to live in a city again. But, if that was what Adam wanted, that was what she would do. No matter how heart heavy it made her.

NINE

After their bathes, Adam and Angelica had no trouble getting the boys to sleep. The combination of the warm water and energetic play had made them unable to hold their little eyes open. Addy – as always – had fought it longer than his brothers. But even he had finally succumbed to the sandman.

Someone rapped lightly at the bedroom door, then it opened and Giles stuck his head inside. “I hate to disturb you, but there’s somebody downstairs who wants to see the both of you.”

“Who is…?” Adam started, but before he could finish Giles backed out, and closed the door. “Well, I suppose we might as well go see who it is.”

“I wonder who it could be.”

“I only know of one way to find out.”

Angelica checked to make sure the boys were snug in their borrowed cradles then she and Adam left the room.

As they came down the wide staircase, Angelica’s spirits took flight. She was almost afraid to believe what she saw. “Mother!”

Ben and Verina Cartwright were just handing over their coats to Giles as their children came down the stairs.

Verina looked to her husband of six months and knew that he read the same thing she was. Angelica appeared – to a mother’s sense – to be a less exuberant than usual, and no wonder. But in Adam, she detected the most marked change. Lines and shadows had been added to his strong, handsome face, and he didn’t seem to move with the lithe movements of a cat that had always characterized him. He almost seemed to have aged into an old man in the short week’s time since she had seen him.

“Angelica!” Verina said and spread her arms to receive her daughter. “You’re looking well.”

“Liar,” Angelica whispered into her mother’s ear then returned to her bright act. “Father Ben.” She hugged her father-in-law, now stepfather, and it felt good to feel his arms around her just as it always did. Oh, how nice it would be to stay there and put her troubles away for a little while.

Ben had seen instantly that things weren’t as they should be, and he suspected some of what lay behind Adam’s lethargy. And he knew that Angelica’s worry for her husband produced hers. He hoped that he and Verina could help, but – knowing Adam as well as he did, as well as anyone did – he knew it wouldn’t be easy. “You’re looking lovely as always, daughter.”

“And you’re the most fanciful liar I’ve ever met. But a woman always likes to hear that kind of talk, even if there isn’t one bit of truth in it.”

“And my Adam,” Verina said, as she wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders and pulled him to her. A twinge of pain ran through her as she held him, and felt his arms encircle her. She thought he would squeeze the life from her, but she didn’t care.

The look that passed between Ben and Adam left him with more questions than answers. That his son was distressed over what had happened anyone could figure. Who wouldn’t be? But other things lay beneath the surface, and he hoped that he could dig them out and slay them.

Never one for displaying much outward emotion, especially in the presence of others, Adam’s reaction startled Ben. But he knew it shouldn’t. Since his oldest son had returned from the dead close to three years back, much about him had changed. While other aspects of his makeup seemed inalterable.

“I’m glad you came, Pa.” The dark brooding eyes went to his step mother. “I’m glad you both came. But why didn’t Joe and Hoss come, too?”

“They wanted to, but they thought that it should be just me and Verina this time. Hoss said that when something like this happens, folks need their mother and father more.”

“That sounds like him.” Then a quizzical frown creased Adam’s brow. “But how did you know to come? I’m afraid I’ve been rather preoccupied and simply forgot to tell you.”

Just at that moment, Siddon entered through the front door, bringing an artic blast with him. He quickly closed out the cold and shivered.

“Oh,” Adam said blandly, as he shot Siddon a knowing look.

Siddon caught it right off, and his forehead wrinkled as his eyebrows rose. “Did I miss something?”

“You wired them, didn’t you, Sid?” Adam said, and his mouth set.

“I knew you had other things on your mind, and would want them to know. So, yes, I did.”

A sad smile faintly touched Adam’s lips. “I’m glad.”

And that, too, surprised Ben.

*******

Verina stood at the foot of the cradles and simply watched as her grandsons slept. The unpacking could wait. She simply needed the time alone, and the soft breathing of the slumbering babies soothed. With an infinitesimal grunt, Addy, at least, she thought it was Addy, turned his head to the window. She looked at his brothers and felt a swelling of love and awe. It still amazed her how alike they looked.

Behind her, the door opened and softly brushed the carpet that softened the footfalls behind her. Strong hands grasped her shoulders from behind and more love surged through her.

“They look so much like their father it’s almost frightening.”

“They do indeed. It’s almost like Angelica isn’t even their mother.” The room went silent for several seconds. “Ben, I’m so terribly worried about them. Did you see how stiffly Adam moved? And Angelica reminded me of a damped candle.”

“They have lost so much, and barely escaped with their lives, according to Siddon. So it’s only natural to experience some grief. But I think there’s more to it than that. On Adam’s part, I think he’s most likely reliving old memories. And I’d say that Angelica’s main problem is from worrying about him.”

“What kind of memories could cause this?”

“I’ll tell you about them later. Right now, let’s just enjoy the boys.”

He put his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder. She leaned her head over against his, and his silvery hair starkly contrasted her dark brown with its white threads. The outside world would encroach soon enough, so for now they would revel in this serene moment.

*******

After supper, Ben and Siddon repaired to the latter’s study for brandy and talk. The rest of the household had gone about other interests and left them to their own devices.

Ben sat on the large black leather sofa while Siddon filled snifters from the cut glass decanter Giles had brought in. The ruby glass lamp on the immense desk wrapped the room with its warm glow and seemed to burnish the dark paneling.

“Here you go,” Siddon said, as he handed over a delicate glass of the amber liquid. “This should cap the pheasant nicely.”

Ben thanked him then began to swirl the brandy inside the snifter to warm it.

Siddon sat on the corner of his desk with his own libation. “Have you talked to Adam much since you got here?”

“No. I haven’t seen him but very little since we arrived, and he was so quiet at supper. I tried to waylay him before he went upstairs with Angelica and the boys but wasn’t quite successful. And I don’t want to disturb them now.” Ben finally took a sip, and his face registered satisfaction. “I’ve seen him quiet and pensive before, but this is different. Has he talked to you about it?”

“As a matter-of-fact, he unloaded on me just this morning. And I felt like I’d been run over by a lumber wagon.”

“You make it appear so ominous.”

“To those of us who care about him, I think it is. I know you’ll eventually get it out of him, but it’ll be like pulling teeth. And he may hang me from one of the pines out back for doing this, but I’m gonna tell you.” He chuckled. “And then again, he may thank me for saving him the trouble. You never know how he’s gonna take a thing these days.” He sat the delicate glass on the desk with a hard clink then leaned forward against his legs, interlocking his fingers in front of him. “He’s planning on selling the ranch and taking his family to Boston.”

A rush of air whirled into Ben, and his hand tightened on the bowl of the snifter. “I don’t guess that comes as any real surprise. He’s talked about it before since he returned from college and planned on it after he was almost killed by Vince Decker. But then he met Angelica and decided to stay, to which I’m eternally grateful to that young lady.” His brow lowered into a frown. “There’s more to it than just losing the house, though, isn’t there?”

“Like I said, he hasn’t talked to me a whole lot about it, but I’ve stayed close to him and watched. The day after the house burned, he drove out there, and I went with him. He went inside, even though I warned him that it wasn’t safe. But if anybody knows how he is when he gets the bit in his teeth, it’s you.”

Ben’s mind conjured up images of the stubborn child he had raised, and it made him smile.

“Anyway, he was tramping around in what had been the front parlor, which made me cringe every time he took a step…,” he paused for effect, “and he crashed trough the floor.”

Ben sat up straighter, and his fingers nearly snapped the stem of the glass. “So that’s what happened to his face. I asked him about it but he only brushed it off.”

“And I got the impression when it first happened that he wouldn’t really have cared if he had been killed.” Siddon leaned even closer. “What he’s feeling is guilt, pure and simple.”

“Guilt? Whatever on Earth for? Your wire didn’t go into any real detail.”

“It was Alphonse Sweet that told them the house was afire. And the men wouldn’t have even known if the dog hadn’t set off a keen they probably heard in Canada.”

“Then I’m right glad Buddy was there. But that still doesn’t explain why…”

“Think about it. The men and a dog woke them up…,” Siddon shook his head, “not him.”

“I see what you’re saying.” Ben took a good hard slug of his brandy. “He has never been one to take his responsibilities lightly. More than once when something has happened to one of his brothers, he’s berated himself.” His frown deepened. “Adam is his own worst critic and always has been. Even as a boy.”

“All right, so we both know that. But what are we going to do to get this fool notion out of his head? I mean, yes, it’s his decision to make, but his reasoning is all skewed. Great grief, anyway. Does he think that this sort of thing doesn’t happen in Boston?”

“If I know my son, he’s only thinking of keeping his family safe from any further harm. And right now, the city seems the best place to do that.” Ben sighed and took a sip. “But I still think there’s more to it than that. Like I said, there may be bad memories at work here.”

“Bad memories? What bad memories are you…?” Knowledge exuded from Siddon’s broad face. “Oh, that. Ben, you don’t honestly think…”

“I don’t know, but if that is mixed up in all this, then any decision to stay will have to be his idea.” A cunning light danced in Ben’s eyes. “Not that we won’t give him a little help every chance we get.” Then he was suddenly crestfallen. “But if this is truly what he wants, I don’t think we should stand in his way. Even if we could.”

Siddon tilted his head puckishly. “Not much, anyway.”

“No, Siddon, not much.”

Siddon refilled Ben’s snifter. Then the two men settled quietly into their own thoughts as they sipped at their brandies. Neither wanted Adam to leave, and both knew that they shouldn’t interfere. At least – as Siddon had put it – not much.

TEN

Angelica had no idea what time it was when sleep ebbed, and lucidity slipped into its place. She squinted against the darkness and wondered if it was late or early. She could feel the warmth of a tiny body close to her, but it couldn’t eradicate the sense of disturbance that had awakened her. She started to reach across to Adam’s side of the bed when her eyes rose to the window. Pale gray light entered around a tall, black silhouette that was as familiar to her as her own image in the mirror. It stood perfectly still as if more shadow than substance, and appeared, she guessed, to be looking out.

After checking the babies, with great care, she pushed back the covers and carefully slid from the bed. Like gentle raindrops, her feet patted the cool carpet, and she went to stand next to him. Her gaze went to his face, which the pallid light put into sharp relief. And the way it glinted in his eyes chilled her even more than the coolness of the room.

“Adam,” came as softly a spring breeze. She touched his arm, but his head didn’t move. “Are you all right?”

“I just couldn’t sleep. Go on back to bed.”

She gave a small tug. “If you will come with me.”

“In a little bit.”

She leaned forward so that she could see into his face better. “Adam, what is it? You have been so quiet since your father got here…. And I got the impression you weren’t happy that he came, even though you said you were. That isn’t like you. In fact, since the fire, you’ve become almost a stranger, and it frightens me…. I wish you would please tell what is wrong.” Her voice began to quaver, and one could almost hear the tears in it. “I want to help you, but I can’t if you won’t let me in. Oh, please, Adam, don’t shut me out.” Desperation was closing in around her, and she felt as if it would strangle the life from her. She took his face in her hands and turned it to her. “Talk to me. I can’t help if you keep it bottled inside.”

“I don’t think you can help…. I don’t think anybody can.”

Her heart twisted. “Then you have to do it….. Talk to me.”

Gently, he took her hands from his face and clasped them to his chest. She could feel his heart beating beneath her fingertips. Then he looked out to ethereal landscape beyond the panes of glass. “You never saw the house as it was before.”

She blinked against the abruptness of his words. “Which house? Not our house?”

The space between her questions, and his answer was charged with uncertainty.

“Our house…, on the Ponderosa. You never saw it the way I designed it.”

She thought she detected a minute trembling in his grasp, and it reinstated the threat of tears. It was hard to imagine this solid, indomitable man as being afraid of anything. Yet, here it was. And she couldn’t guess at what lay behind this chink in his armor, and it alarmed her. “What happened to… it?”

Again, his silence seemed to stretch toward infinity.

“It was a beautiful late spring evening in ’61…. June…. Hoss and I had been in town most of the day dickering over the sale of some lumber. We were looking forward to some peace at home.” He tittered. “Hop Sing was having one of his favorites…: fried chicken.” His grip tightened. “We had left the barn and were started inside when we…, he…, thought he noticed smoke.”

“Coming from where?” she asked quietly, afraid to break his train of thought.

“The washhouse.”

Her fine eyebrows lowered. “Where was the washhouse?”

“It extended out beyond the end of the kitchen and the guest bedroom.”

“Then it was attached to the main house?” she prodded gently. She could see him nod in the colorless light. “What happened then?”

“We checked it out…, just to make sure.”

This was like running up a mountain, but on him she would never give up. “What then?”

“Hoss opened the door and…”

His hands clenched on hers close to the point of cutting off the circulation. She wanted to prod him again, but now she felt that he had to make himself go on. Keeping silent was one of the hardest things she had ever done.

“It was a wall of flame…. We couldn’t get inside.”

“What did you do then?”

“I sent Hoss to tell Pa and Joe while I tried to fight it…. When they got out of the house the men had joined me…. It seemed like no matter how much water we put on it…”

By this time her hands had started to go numb, but still she wouldn’t pull them away from him.

“Did you know that there used to be three trees in the front yard? No, of course you didn’t…. The fire quickly burned through the roof and caught in the one closest to it, and from there it spread to the other two.”

His quivering had become more pronounced, and her eyes never left his face. She could imagine him experiencing the whole terrible thing all over again, and it grieved her dearly.

“We knew that if we didn’t do something, and fast, the fire could likely take the whole house. And all we had were axes and one crosscut saw.” He heaved an onerous breath. “But if we had tried cutting them down at ground level, they would had taken something out when they fell and it would have taken way too long anyway…. They were huge trees.”

“So that’s why there weren’t any trees so close to our house. I wondered why you didn’t want their shade. It was a good reason…. What did you do about it?”

She didn’t know how much time passed before he started talking again, and she had begun to wonder if he would.

“Joe went with five men up onto the roof of the house. Buckets of water were handed out through the windows…. It didn’t put it out, but it was enough to keep the flames at bay…. And the shingles and logs were kept watered down since wet wood won’t burn.” His chest swelled. “When we finally got it under control and felt the house wasn’t in such imminent danger the sun was just starting to color the sky. By the time we were able to stop and sure we had it licked it was well past breakfast.” He snorted. “Hop Sing came out with two pans of biscuits and a pot of coffee…. I don’t think biscuits have ever tasted so good, and the coffee put some life back into me, back into us all. We were so bone tired I don’t know what kept us on our feet.”

For a long second the silence hung like a dense fog then, “And your father decided not to rebuild.”

“Yes, but it wasn’t just him alone. We all did. The house had been saved, and we didn’t really feel it necessary. We simply added a room to the back of the work shed for the washing.”

“Did Hop Sing mind?”

He laughed ironically. “It was Hop Sing’s idea, and we agreed heartily…. So we just cleared away the debris, repaired the damage and left it like it was. The trees were cut down and the stumps removed and the holes filled with dirt. To look at it today one would think if had always been that way.” He lapsed into silence again.

“But you know better.”

He finally turned his head to her and the light entered trough the sides of his eyes. “Yes, I know better…. I wish I didn’t.”

“And when our house burned you felt the helplessness and desperation all over again. You saw your dream going up in smoke.”

His head lowered, and his shoulders sagged. “It wasn’t the house.”

His hold loosened on her hands, and she pulled one free. She flexed her fingers to work some feeling back into them then put them against the side of his face. “You’re guilty of nothing. Like the rest of us, you do the best you can. But unlike so many people I have known, you take too much on yourself. I told you the other night that I don’t blame you for this. Do you actually believe that someone else is? Because if you do, you’re one hundred percent wrong. And if anyone does, they are not worth troubling over.”

“Am I worth troubling over?”

Her cheeks tingled as if they had been struck with an open hand. “More than I think you know? Why do you think your father came all the way from the Ponderosa? Why do you think Siddon sent him the wire in the first place…? Why do you think I married you and love you with all my heart? Because we care deeply for you, that’s why. And when we see you tormenting yourself needlessly, we worry…. Adam…, you are important to a lot of people whether you realize it or not. And when you are in pain and hurting, so are we, and we want to do something about it…. So please let us.”

His head came up. “I’m afraid, Angel.”

She sucked in the cool air. “Afraid of what? It is over, behind us. So what is left to be afraid of?”

It seemed to take forever for him to answer her. “It’s happening again and my being even more helpless and useless than before. If I…”

But her hand covered his mouth, and stemmed the flow of words.

“Don’t say it. Don’t you dare say it. You are not useless. You couldn’t be. Not to me.” She grasped his face in both hands and looked straight into it. “You are one of the four most important things in my life. And if not for you I wouldn’t be out here, and have our sons. I would have returned to Bangor and found myself married to that good-for-nothing Hazelton Greenwood.” She tittered derisively. “Until he left me without a cent of my own. And if I hadn’t known that I loved you from the first moment I laid eyes on you that would have been my fate. So don’t you even dare say that to me.” She flung her arms around him and buried her face against him. “I love you, and without you in it my life would be meaningless.”

“But we could have died.”

She pushed back from him and looked into his face again. “People do every day, but at least we would have all been together through all eternity. And this is not a bad thing. But we didn’t. We have been given a second chance, and we shouldn’t waste it on what could have been…. The Adam Cartwright I have come to know, admire and love beyond words and am proud to call husband wouldn’t.”

She felt his arms go around her, and pull her to him, and it made her weak all over. His touch often had that effect on her. She listened with contentment to his steady breathing and the rhythmic thump beneath her ear.

“Let’s go back to bed.”

She smothered a small groan. She heard it in his tone that everything she had just said to him had fallen on deaf ears. She hadn’t been able to reach him, and it made her want to cry. Was she still going to lose him, even with all she could do? Her arms tightened around him, and she let the tears come.

ELEVEN

Verina was putting the finishing touches on her hair when she became aware of voices in the outer corridor, and her mother’s senses came into play. She thought she recognized them as Adam’s and Angelica’s. She remained motionless and listened intently. Though she couldn’t make out what was being said, she was able to pick up on a harsh quality to it. She had gotten up and started out when they stopped and were punctuated by the thud of boots. “Adam! Adam!” came just as she opened the door.

Angelica was at the top of the elegant staircase and watched Adam as he bounded down the stairs. Verina looked around just in time to catch his retreating back. Then he disappeared from the entryway headed toward the rear of the house, and she went to her daughter. “Angelica, what’s wrong?”

But Angelica stood like a pillar of marble, her gaze locked on Adam’s path of exit. Verina reached out and touched her arm, and the eyes that turned to her gave her a jolt.

“I’m losing him, Mother. I’m losing him to that fire as surely as if it had burned him up along with the house.”

“Oh, Angelica, I don’t think…”

“Do you know where he is going?”

“I’m afraid I haven’t the slightest.”

Angelica’s right hand went to her mouth, and she bit into a knuckle as if trying to hold off the sobbing. Her sight drifted down to the foyer, and she seemed to be searching for him. “Into town.” The morose dark eyes returned to her mother. “He’s going to… He is going to see about… selling the ranch.” A deep, burdensome breath shook her all over. “He wants to sell the Angel!”

Verina didn’t know exactly what to say. At this stage, she feared that any advice she had to give would only be empty talk. But this was her daughter, and she couldn’t simply say nothing. “Did you tell him how much you love it out here?”

“Of course I did, but it did no good. He’s got this idiotic notion that – should this ever happen again – we will be safer in Boston. Boston! I told him not to be hasty about this and to give it a few more days at least. But his mind is made up. And you know how he can be when he sets his mind to something.”

“I certainly do. He is maybe the most single-minded person I have ever met. But surely to goodness he won’t do something so rash without serious consideration. I’m sure he is only going to check on his options.”

“But you didn’t see him or hear him.” Her eyelids fell then flicked open again. “In all the time I have known him, he had never raised his voice to me.”

Verina felt a slow burn start. “Did he this time?”

“Not so much.” Angelica sniffled. “But he is under a lot of pressure.”

“That is no excuse to…”

“Oh, Mother, you still don’t understand. He has been through this sort of thing before…. Once, some years back, they almost lost the house on the Ponderosa to a fire.”

“I know. Ben told me last night. He thinks that it may have something to do with the way Adam is behaving now.”

“I am sure it does; only I don’t know what to do about it…. And it is tearing us both apart.”

Verina held her close. “Maybe Ben can talk to him. After all, he did raise him, and I think he knows his own son better than either one of us. And he is a man. Sometimes men can talk better to other men than women.” She stepped back and put on her most cheerful face, though she definitely didn’t feel it. “Now why don’t we get the boys and go down to breakfast. Ben is about to nag me to death about them. He hasn’t seen them yet this morning, and you know how he is about his grandsons.” She took a lace edged handkerchief from her sleeve and began to blot her daughter’s face dry. “One must never present one’s self as a weepy female to a room filled with men. It gives them the wrong impression.”

Then hope dawned in Angelica’s eyes. “And maybe I can catch Adam before he leaves.” With a flounce, she went back into her bedroom.

Now, Verina could let her doubt and apprehension show as she glanced toward the stairs. Single-minded was right. And to mix that kind of determination with a stubborn streak as sprawling as Nevada gave good reason for doubt. Especially when it all stemmed from a man’s deep-seated love and concern for him family, and his ingrained need to protect them.

Verina sighed and shook her head then followed after her daughter.

As they entered the dining room – a baby on each of Angelica’s hips, and the third cradled against his grandma – the violet eyes began searching. They roved over each person gathered there, finally landing on Ben.

“Where is Adam?” Angelica asked, anxiously.

Ben looked quickly to Siddon, who sat next to him at the head of the sizeable table. He rose and went to her and extended his arms. “Here, why don’t you let me take one of those boys? I know they make quite a load.”

“You didn’t answer my question. Now where is he?”

Ben glanced at Verina and hesitated for less than a second. “He’s gone.”

Angelica felt every bit of resolve she had left drain out of her to leave her weak as milk. She wasn’t even aware when one of her sons was taken from her. Adam had gone into Bantree just as sure as anything. But when he returned would the ranch no longer be their home? Then she managed to muster up a small bit of tenacity and jutted her chin out as she looked back into her father-in-law’s face. “Did he… Did he go alone?”

“Yes,” Ben said as he settled Benjy into the crook of his arm. “Siddon and I wanted to go with him, but he wouldn’t have it. He said this he had to do without us staring over his shoulders.”

“And quite rude about it he was, too,” Siddon said with a wide grin, which immediately evaporated with a glare from Carolyn.

“Daddy said there was enough room for all of them in the sleigh,” came innocently.

“Juliet,” Carolyn snapped.

The girl slumped when she caught sight of her mother’s and sister’s withering glowers. “Sorry, Mother.”

“The sleigh?” Angelica’s arms tightened on the child she held. “But it’s only a short walk from here into town. Why would he need…?”

Possibly sensing his mother’s agitation, Hiram’s mouth puckered and his lower lip began to quiver. His large, round eyes set on her face, and tears rimmed their bottoms.

Angelica looked first from Ben to her mother then back. “Where did he go?” Her voice rose. “Please tell me.”

Hiram’s little lip trembled even more, and tiny tears escaped and ran down his cheeks. Carolyn got up from the table and took the baby from Angelica. She rested his head on her shoulder and rubbed his small back, but his eyes stayed on his mother’s face and the lip still trembled.

Ben reached out and firmly took one of his daughter-in-law’s hands. “He went out to the ranch. He said he had something he had to take care of.”

Angelica pulled away from him. “And you let him go by himself, even when you could see how disturbed he is? How could you do that?”

Ben stood next to her and pulled her head down against his chest and held her. “Adam isn’t going to do anything stupid. He just needs to think things through. This is a big step he’s contemplating, and he won’t just jump right into it.”

“But he told me…?”

Ben shushed her and kissed the side of her head. “You need to trust him to make the best decision for all of you.” His eyes rose to Verina and betrayed his concern.

“I do…. I do.” She touched Benjy’s cheek then nestled closer to Ben and closed her eyes. She did trust Adam, didn’t she? Of course she did, under normal circumstances. But these circumstances were far from normal, and they had taken a toll on both her and Adam. But she loved this darkly handsome man, and she would be derelict if she didn’t fret about him. How she wished he would hurry back. Oh, how she wished.

*******

The sleigh’s runners glided over its frozen surface as it left the main thoroughfare. Adam would take the road he and the men had cut that led to the home site, but before he reached it he would veer off into the trees. He didn’t want anyone to know he was there until he was ready. That is, if he ever was.

He gave the reins a snap and clicked his teeth, and the horse picked up its pace as much as it could. With the quicker movement, the air became more crisp and biting. Adam adjusted his collar up around his ears and hunched down inside his new maroon woolen coat. His eyes watered from the cold rushing into them, and he blinked to clear them so he could see. All he needed was to wrap the whole shebang – him included – around one of these massive pines. Wouldn’t Angelica love him for that?

At the thought of his wife he felt a nearly overwhelming melancholy settle into him. She had put up with so much from him since the fire, yet she never complained. Love, compassion and support she always had for him. Except for this morning. He snickered into the stillness. When he had been so insistent about going into Bantree without telling her why, she had lost her temper. “You are the most stubborn, unbending man I have ever met in my life. I am surprised I haven’t taken to strong drink by this time.” The image of her standing before him with tightly clenched fists and lovely face the color of a ripe cherry filled his imagination. “It isn’t something you need to know. Not yet,” he had said and tried to turn from those probing purple eyes. But she had stepped in front of him and blocked his path. “We don’t keep secrets from each other. Remember?” She had grasped his arms and set her gaze steadfastly on his face. “Now I want to know why it is so important for you to go into town. And on such a morning before you have even had breakfast.” He recalled how everything had become tinged in red, and his blood had heated up. “All right, if you must know. I’m going to sell the ranch,” he had blurted. Then he had thrown in a totally unnecessary addendum. “Now are you satisfied?” She had gone go ghastly pale that it made her eyes standout like enormous grapes. And to his eternal shame, he had felt victorious and valiant. Then he had torn away from her and bounded down the stairs with her voice calling after him ringing in his ears.

His mouth set into such a firm, hard line that his lips instantly hurt. Why had he spoken to her that way? What had it accomplished except to make him look like an ogre? And – now thinking back on it – if she had slapped him, he wouldn’t have been able to fault her. He had asked for it, hadn’t he? But she hadn’t. His beautiful, devoted Angel had simply stood there like a wounded doe, and looked at him with those tragic eyes. And what had he done? He had behaved like a complete jackass, and left her standing there calling his name.

“Blamed fool,” he snarled, half to himself. “It’d serve you right if she packed up the boys and left you to twist in the wind. What makes you think you were the only one touched by this? It was her home, too.” A burning sensation started to prickle at the base of his head and made its way down his back as his anger grew. But the anger was directed at him and not her. “You were blessed the day she walked into your life, and you go and treat her that way…. What’s the matter with you, Cartwright?” His thoughts began to spin like a maniacal top inside his skull. “Fires happen in Boston, too, you lunk head. And people still die even with the fire department so close.”

Suddenly, it all became clear what he had to do. With a sharp ‘ha’, he slapped the reins against the horse’s back and it managed a little more speed. He had wasted enough time already feeling sorry for himself. It was time to become not only the man Angelica had married, but the one she deserved.

TWELVE

Angelica had become nervous as a cat, jumping at every sound that could signal her husband’s return. The sun had gone down hours ago and along with it the temperature. All sorts of dire visions flooded her thoughts, with each one progressively worse than the last. She fidgeted in the chair before the crackling fire in the main parlor until she couldn’t stand it any longer. She bounded to her feet and began to stalk back-and-forth before the hearth, wringing her hands in front of her.

Carolyn sat on the settee with her embroidery. With methodical precision, the needle passed through the fine linen, up then down then up. Her blue eyes would dart to Angelica, though it was done unobtrusively. To watch her, one would never be aware that she was paying more attention to her friend than her stitching.

Ben and Siddon sat at an intricately carved teak game table across the room from the double doors. Siddon moved a black pawn across the onyx and marble board inlaid into the top of it. “Your move.”

But Ben was so occupied with Angelica’s agitation that he didn’t hear anything. Then he heard his name and felt a touch on his hand. He looked around into Siddon Banning’s face, and all he could muster was a dull “What?”

“It’s your move, Ben.”

Ben’s eyes lowered to the game board, but the position of the pieces held little meaning for him. It was dark, cold, his son was out there, and his daughter-in-law’s incessant fidgeting only heightened his already palpable anxiety. It wasn’t that he was concerned about Adam doing something truly mindless, but accidents could befall anyone. And the dreadful time when he thought he had lost his oldest son was still fresh enough in his memory to only make things worse.

Siddon could see that this game had gone as far as it would likely go, at least for tonight. He could slice the tension that pressed in on them with a double bitted axe, and that wasn’t conducive to games of chess which required intense concentration. “Ben, why don’t you and I go see if supper’s about ready? And maybe have a brandy, possibly two.” His eyes followed Ben’s as they returned to Angelica then came right back. “She’ll be all right. Carolyn’s right here and she isn’t going to let anything happen to the girl.”

Ben huffed and a lackluster smile turned his full mouth. “I don’t guess it would hurt anything.”

“Of course it won’t.” He gave Ben a hearty slap on the arm then pulled his substantial girth up from the fine chair. “And I think we can both use the break.”

Ben snorted, more with irony than amusement. “I hope you have plenty of brandy in the house.”

“Well, if we run out, we can always fall back on scotch and bourbon.”

When the men started from the room it didn’t escape Angelica’s attention, in spite of her distress. “Where are you going? Is something wrong?”

Ben came to her and rubbed a consoling hand up-and-down her arm. “We’re just going to see about supper.”

Her eyes went briefly to Siddon. “This takes both of you?”

“We thought we might investigate the contents of the liquor cabinet. Maybe you would like a sherry.”

“I’d like to have some of Juva’s liquid moon,” she said as her hands bunched in the fabric of her dress’ skirt. “And what does he mean staying out so late on a night like this? It’s cold as whiz out there.”

Ben had to fight to contain his amusement at phrases he knew she certainly hadn’t picked up in Bangor. What a gem Adam had taken for a wife. “I’m afraid sherry will have to do.”

“I don’t want anything.” Her head came up, and fire burned in the deepness of her eyes. “Except a branding iron to beat him with when he finally gets back.”

“We will be all right,” Carolyn said calmly, as the needle continued its motion through the linen. “The two of you go ahead.”

“Are you sure you’re okay, daughter?”

“I’m all right. Just mad as a wet cat!”

“He’ll be fine, and probably home before long.” Ben grasped Angelica’s shoulders and kissed her on the forehead.

“And won’t I give him a piece of my mind.” With a jerk, Angelica recommenced her stalking before the fireplace, her arms crossed over her stomach, and her mouth draw into an incensed knot.

Ben knew that nothing else he could add would help, so he left with Siddon. They had just reached the foot of the grand staircase in the foyer when Giles appeared from the hall that led back to the kitchen.

“He’s back,” Giles said, barely above a whisper. “And he wants to see his father outside.”

“Where is he?” Siddon asked, as he glanced at Ben.

“He said he’d be in the garden down the path by the marble cherub.”

Ben’s eyes had grown almost pure ebony. “Is anything wrong? He isn’t hurt, is he?”

“Didn’t seem to be,” Giles said with a shake of his head. “In fact, he looked better ‘n I’ve seen him look in a few days. He even smiled and called me Mace, and he ain’t done that in a month of Sundays.”

“Well, I’d better go see what all this is about. And, Siddon, don’t tell Angelica just yet.”

“I won’t.”

Ben started off with Giles.

“And you’d better take a coat,” Siddon added after him. “Remember, it’s cold as whiz out there.” He grinned and then went on to his study.

Ben’s feet scuffed over the cobblestone path which had been brushed clean by the recent high winds. He couldn’t imagine what Adam wanted and it gave him a turn. He knew that his son had been mulling over selling his ranch and returning to Boston. And he couldn’t help but wonder if Adam wanted to tell him that he had started the proceedings to do just that. Ben puffed as he forced his legs to go faster. The thought of slipping and falling didn’t even enter his mind. “Adam!”

“I’m over here, Pa,” came from the darkness.

Ben went in what he thought to be the right direction. The light from the house only spilled out so far, and the night was dark as the bowls of a mine. He called out again, and this time followed the sound of his son’s voice. In the dimness he could only just make out a shadowy figure this side of the trees. “Adam?”

“You’ve found me.”

“Are you all right, son? We were worried when you were gone so long. And poor little Angelica in fit to be tied.”

“I can only imagine.”

“Where have you been for so long?”

“I went out to the ranch, and took it more slowly on the way back. I had a lot of serious thinking to do…. It’s a beautiful night, isn’t it? Even though it is cold enough to freeze a man solid.”

Ben pulled the coat closer around him and blew on his hands. “That it definitely is, so why don’t we go back into the house where it’s a sight warmer?”

“In a little bit.” A laborious sigh filled the night and vied with the sounds that drifted out from town. “The saloons are lively tonight.” He snickered. “There’s a lot of warming up to do.”

“Really, Adam,” Ben took his arm, “I think we should…”

“I know now what I need to do.”

Ben felt as if someone had cut him open and allowed the frightful cold to enter. “What you need to do?”

“I havta make a home for my wife, and my sons…. And more than anything, I havta love and protect them…. Pa?”

“Yes.”

“Would you go tell Angelica that I need for her to come out here? There’s something very important that I havta tell her. And it’ll be better coming from you.”

“Well can’t you tell her inside?”

For several seconds only the tinkle of several tinny pianos mingled with the increasing wind.

“I could, but it’s so much more secluded out here… and peaceful…. So please.”

Ben wasn’t sure about this, but he conceded. “All right.” With reluctance, he started back to the house and glanced back over his shoulder more than once before he finally went back inside.

The scarlet cloak that Angelica had borrowed from Carolyn ballooned around her as she ran along the path. She could only imagine what Adam wanted to tell her, but she had the frightening idea that she knew only too well what it was. And her heart ached at what would come about as a result. “Adam!”

“Right here, Angel.”

The toes of her shoes clicked over the cobblestones, since she was moving too quickly for her heels to touch. She knew him to be in the vicinity of the cherub statuette, but in this overpowering gloom she couldn’t make him out. She slowed down, lest she pass him by, and fought the fluttering in her stomach. She groped blindly as she moved forward, and in an instant, a leather-gloved hand grasped one of hers firmly. He pulled her next to him, and she wished she could see his face, especially his eyes. Her fingers trembled as she reached out and touched an icy cheek. “Adam.”

His arm eased around her waist, and he could feel her cloak billowing about them. How he wished he could see those wonderful eyes that spoke love more eloquently than any word. He could feel her begin to shiver, and he hugged her closer to him. Nothing harmful must ever touch her again, if he could conceivably help it.

“Adam…, are you all right? I have been terribly worried since you were gone so long. I was afraid…” Her voice stopped, and the words vanished into the night air to be frozen in its void forever.

“I’m okay…. I’ve had a lot of thinking to do, and it took solitude to help me to see a lot of things.” He chortled. “Give me enough time, and I’ll eventually get it. It takes a while for common sense to get through my thick skull, and it always seems to manage…, but only after I make a complete ass of myself.” He chortled again. “It makes a better impression that way, I’ve found.” He looked up toward the sky where the outline of the pines was darker. “How would you like to have a new house?”

Angelica’s mouth went perfectly dry, and she swallowed hard. Here it came, and she wasn’t sure she could bear to hear it. “A… A new house?”

“Of course, a new one. The other one is completely unlivable.”

She dreaded the answer to would ask next. “In Boston?” When he didn’t answer right away, it jangled her nerves like she hadn’t thought possible.

“No…. On the Angel. Of course, I’ll have to pick another spot to put it. Bad luck to build where the other one stood, you know. And the barn and other outbuildings will havta be dismantled and moved, and the snow will slow us down some…. But it’ll happen…, if you want it to.”

My permission, he’s asking my permission, she thought. “Absolutely, I want it. I was heartsick when you said we were going to leave here. But I was going to go because I thought that’s what you wanted.”

“I thought it was…, for a time. I thought in Boston this could never happen again, but I wasn’t thinking clearly. Love for one’s family can do that to a man sometimes.” His arm squeezed about her. “And I felt I had let you and the boys down because…”

“Now you’re being ridiculous like you were last night.” Then a lightness entered her voice. “In spite of what you may have been told, you’re imperfect just like the rest of us.” She got serious again. “But to me, you are as close to perfection as any man could be…. My knight in shining armor.” She leaned her head over against his shoulder and closed her eyes.

“Always by your side,” he whispered.

His other arm closed around her, sealing her into the cloak, and his nearness eased all that had gone before this moment. The wind whistled through the trees in an effort to chill her, but Angelica had never felt so warm in her life. She wouldn’t have to leave her home, her Nevada, and she would have him and her sons with her. She knew she and her beloved Adam could face whatever life threw at them, as long as it was together. She had heard a phrase once that fit them so well. United we stand, divided we fall. And her heart knew it was so.

TO BE CONTINUED

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