Never Forget Me

Katherine Ames

Chapter 1

Beth Shultz stepped from the stagecoach into Virginia City. She thanked the driver as he set her luggage, a brown carpet bag and a black valise, beside her. Then he drove the stagecoach off to the livery stable. She stood there, contemplating what to do next.

All of the Cartwright men were in Virginia City getting supplies. They saw the stage come in. Joe smiled when he saw a lovely young woman step from it.

"I think I'll go help her; she looks confused," he said, starting to walk in that direction.

"Now Joe," Hoss said, and put a restraining hand on Joe's arm, "Don't you think she looks a bit young for you?"

Joe removed Hoss's hand and said smoothly, "Now Hoss, I am twenty years old, and I think that makes me old enough to decide for myself." And with that he walked in the girl's direcion.

"May I help you?" Beth heard someone say. She turned and saw a handsome, smiling face.

"Pardon?"she asked.

"May I help you?" he repeated and smiled again.

"Yes, I don't know where to go," she said, sheepish to admit it.

"Are you staying with anybody here?"

"No."

"All right then, I'll take you to the hotel," Joe said. He scooped up her bags and jerked his head in the direction of the hotel. Beth followed him.

"I'm Joe Cartwright."

"I'm pleased to meet you. My name is Beth Shultz."

"Pleased to meet you, too. Where are you from?"

Beth's face paled slightly. "I, uh, I'm from Boston," she stammered.

"Hey, my brother went to college in Boston," Joe said. "Well, here we are," he said, and somehow, even with his hands full with her bags, still managed to be a perfect gentleman and hold the door for her.

Beth tried to act confident as she walked up to the front desk. She looked back at Joe, who had drifted over to a group of men he seemed to know.

"Hey, Joe, who's the girl?" asked one of his friends.

"Her name is Beth Shultz. She just came in on the stage," Joe answered. He glanced over at Beth, who was busy talking to the clerk.

"I'd like to take a room for a week," Beth told the clerk.

"All right; sign here, please," the clerk said.

"I'll pay in advance," she said, withdrawing some bills from her handbag.

"Hey, Joe," he called, "would you show the young lady to room eleven? That new bellboy I hired didn't come in to work today."

"Sure. This way, Miss Shultz." Again, Joe took her bags and headed up the stairs.

"Thank you, Mr. Cartwright," Beth said.

"Please, call me Joe."

Beth smiled. "And you must call me Beth."

"Say, how about having dinner with me and my family at our ranch?"

Joe saw Beth hesitate, then she smiled. "I'd love to. When would be a good night for you?"

"Tomorrow night?" he asked hopefully.

"All right." Beth wondered if she was being too forward.

"Fine, I'll pick you up at six o'clock."

Joe smiled his woman-killer smile and tipped his hat. Then he was gone.

Chapter 2

Joe came through the door of the Ponderosa ranch house, whistling a merry tune.

"Adam, what do you think's gotten into our little brother?" said Hoss in a teasing tone.

"I'm not sure,"Adam replied in the same tone. "It wouldn't happen to have anything to do with that pretty girl we saw you with, now would it?"

"Actually, it does," Joe said, and then turned to Ben. "Pa, I invited her to dinner tomorrow night. I hope that's all right."

"Of course. We'll all be here, right boys?" Ben answered.

"Yes, sir," Adam and Hoss answered simultaneouly.

The next evening Beth was worried.

"How do I even know he has a family at home? What if we'll be there together . . .alone. I don't even know him; why did I have to be so impulsive and accept?" she talked out loud to herself. "Well, I already told him I'd go. Everything will be fine," she told herself optimistically.

Just then she heard someone knock on the door. She stole a last glance at herself in the mirror, then smoothed her skirt and opened the door.

"Joe," she said, and smiled.

"Are you ready to go, then?" Joe asked.

"Yes, I am."

Joe offered her his arm, which she took, grateful for the support it gave, because her knees were weak from nervousness.

Joe helped her into the carrige, then took his seat beside her. Then they were off to the Pon-

derosa.

"So, what brings you to Virginia City, Beth?" Joe asked her.

"I read about it in a newspaper, and it sounded like an exciting place to visit; I don't know how long I'll stay; maybe forever."

Joe looked at her in surprise. "Don't you have family back in Boston?"

"No."

Chapter 3

Soon they came into view of of the ranch house. Ben came out, followed by Adam and Hoss, as Joe helped Beth from the carrige.

"Pa, this is Beth Shultz. Beth, this is my father, Ben Cartwright," Joe introduced.

"I'm very pleased to meet you, Beth," Ben said warmly.

"The same here, Mr. Cartwright."

"These are my brothers, Hoss and Adam," Joe gestured to them.

Adam came forward. "It's a pleasure, Beth."

"It's real nice to meet you, Miss Beth," Hoss said shyly. His face turned pink when Beth smiled at him.

Joe studied Beth during supper. She seemed quite at ease with them, but he noticed that whenever asked about her home back East, she would falter and give a short or monosyllable answer.

"She's probably just shy," he thought.

When the evening ended, Joe drove Beth back to Virginia City. At the door to her room he took off his hat.

"Thank you for a lovely evening, Joe."

"You were the lovely part," he answered. Then he tilted her chin up, and their lips met in a tender kiss.

Inside, Beth was terrified. "He's kissing me! And he's only known me a day. Oh well, he probably knows what he's doing," she thought. She managed to remain calm, and even sur-

prised herself by kissing Joe back.

After the kiss ended, Joe left and Beth went into her room. Her heart was pounding loudly in her ears. She felt warm and fuzzy inside, and floating on air as she changed into a nightgown and fell into a dreamy sleep.

Chapter 4

"Joe," Ben said one morning at breakfast, "I want you to come into Virginia City with me. Hoss, Adam, I want you to check and mend fences in the North pasture."

Everyone finished breakfast and then headed off to do the day's tasks.

Ben and Joe rode into Virginia City and tended to the business they had there. They were about to leave, when Joe aked Ben if he could go see Beth.

"Well, all right. But try not to take too long. We have work to do at home."

"Thanks, Pa." Joe flashed him a bright smile and sauntered over to the hotel. Just as he stepped through the door, he saw a man blocking Beth's way as she tried to go up the stairs.

"What's yer hurry?" the man drawled. From his sluggish movements and slurred speech, Joe assumed he was drunk.

"Let me pass!" Beth said

"C' mon with me, honey," the man said, and tugged on her arm.

Panicking, Beth screamed. "Let me go!"

Joe rushed forward and ran his fist into the man's face. The man howled with pain and made a move toward Joe, but then Joe drew his gun. Beth slinked off to one side and flattened herself against the wall.

A man came into the hotel, followed closely by Sheriff Coffee.

"Thanks," Sheriff Coffee said to the man, who nodded and left.

"All right, Joe, I'll take care of him."

Joe twirled his gun into its holster, and turned to Beth. "Pack your bags; you're coming to the Ponderosa."

"Are . . . are you sure it would be all right?"

"I'm sure. Now, you go pack your bags; I'll go tell Pa."

Beth nodded and hurried upstairs.

Ben praised Joe for his decision when he heard what had happened.

"That hotel has too many rowdy people staying there; it's no place for a lady. I'll head back to the Ponderosa and have Hop Sing get the guestroom ready for her," he said, and rode off.

Joe saw Beth come out of the hotel a few minutes later.

"I rented a carrige," he told her. "Pa went ahead to get Hop Sing to fix up a room for you."

He put her bags in the buggy, then helped her up and climbed up beside her.

"Are you absolutely sure this is all right? I don't want to be a bother."

"Of course, Beth. You'll have a great time at the Ponderosa. I'll see if I can take a few days off to spend with you." He smiled at her.

"Thank you, Joe," she said, and shyly tucked her arm in the crook of his elbow.

Ben greeted them at the ranch house as Joe pulled the horses to a halt.

"Beth it's good to see you again. I'm sorry about what happened."

"He didn't hurt me; just frightened me."

"Joe, will you show Beth up to the guestroom?" Ben asked.

"Sure, Pa." Joe took her bags and led the way up the stairs. "I've kinda got a feeling I've done this before," he said with a smile.

Joe set the bags on the bed, and on the way out he paused. "Uh, supper's not for several hours; would you like to go riding with me?"

"I'd love to! I haven't done much riding before, though."

"I can give you some pointers. How about you meet me in the barn in fifteen minutes?"

"Fine. See you then," she said with a smile.

Chapter 5

When Beth met Joe in the barn, she was clothed in a gray split riding skirt and a white blouse. Her riding boots were black leather.

"I picked out a gentle horse for you," Joe said, and led her to a small dappled gray.

"Oh she's so pretty! What's her name?"

"Regina. Adam named her after an old beau of his."

They both snickered together over that.

"Well, let's get you up on that horse."

After Beth was on Regina, Joe swing mounted his splashy pinto, Cochise.

Beth turned out to be a better rider than she claimed.

"At this pace, we can make it to the lake and back before supper. Would you like to?"

Beth agreed, and for a while they let their horses run.

They pulled up their horses and dismounted. The sight of Lake Tahoe took Beth's breath away.

"Oh, Joe, it's beautiful," she breathed.

"Not half as beautiful as the young lady beside me."

Beth looked into his hazel-green eyes as he stepped closer to her. When he was directly in front of her he reached out and took hold of her shoulders and gently pulled her to him. She tipped her head up as his lips met hers. She brought her arms up around her neck in an em-

brace.

After a moment Joe pulled away. "We should be getting back, " he said, his voice husky.

"Yes, we should," Beth agreed. She noticed that he made no move to head back, so she escaped to the horses before he could trap her in anothe kiss. Joe snapped out of his trance and followed her, just in time to help her onto Regina.

"Race you!" Beth challenged after Joe had vaulted into the saddle, and she took off. Joe laughed and urged Cochise into a run.

Chapter 6

Ben, Adam, Hoss, and Little Joe were all out working. Beth was in the house alone, except for Hop Sing, who was busy working in the kitchen.

She randomly picked a book off the shelf and plopped down on the settee to read it.

Adam stretched after stabling his horse, Sport.

"How nice to have a day off," he thought. "I'll go inside and read for a while, wander aimlessly through the house, and maybe go to town in the evening for a beer or two and play some poker."

He went inside and found Beth on the settee.

"Oh, hi, Beth," he said, reaching down to untie the rawhide string around his thigh.

"Adam! What are you doing home so soon?"

"It's my day off," he replied, laying his gunbelt on the cradenza. He took off his hat and hung it on its peg. "What are you reading?"

"Uh, I don't know. I just took it off the shelf; I'm not really reading it," she admited sheepishly.

He took it and turned it over. "Ah, Paradise Lost, one of my favorites. Have you read it before?"

"No, I guess I should, though."

For a while they sat together on the settee and talked about many different topics. Adam was curious about Beth, but she parried all of his questions.

Quiet and reserved, but very perceptive, Adam watched people and listened to what they had to say. If Beth had known her character was under such scrutiny, she might have squirmed in her seat. However, Adam gave no outward sign that he was questioning the answers she gave to his polite inquisitions.

Chapter 7

"Hop Sing, that was excellent!" Ben praised after supper.

The others echoed similar compliments and made their way to the parlor.

"I'm going out for some air," Beth said, moving toward the door.

"I'll come with you," Joe said, flashing a smile as he held the door open for her.

A short distance from the house, Joe and Beth were making small talk, when Joe's foot caught on a root and he fell heavily to the ground. Beth let out a cry and dropped to her knees beside him as he rolled onto his back.

"Joe, are you hurt?" she exclaimed.

"I'm fine," Joe said, locking eyes with her.

Beth felt Joe tense at her hand on his shoulder, and wondered if he didn't like it. She started to pull away, when Joe's arm came around, pulling her to him.

They kissed hungrily, wrapping their arms around each other.

Ben saw them, in a passionate embrace, from the window. His raised his eyebrows rather disaprovingly, but turned away.

Their hearts were racing, and their temperatures went way up. He kissed her the way he had never kissed anyone before.

Finally, needing air, Beth pulled away and rolled off him, clasping his hand.

Helping her up, he said, "I love you so much, Beth."

Beth's eyes were wide and bright, shining with adoration.

"No one could ever love you as much as I love you, Joe," she answered, stroking his jawline, and then lightly brushed his cheek with her lips before going back to the house.

Chapter 8

The next day, Beth went into the barn and found Hoss repairing some leather harnesses.

"Hello," she began shyly. She went and stood near him, watching him work.

"Hi, Miss Beth. I guess Joe is out working, huh?"

"Yeah, but there are lots of things to do without him. I sat around the house for a while, then sat some more."

Hoss threw back his head and laughed heartily. "I guess there's not much for a young lady to do around here."

A short silence passed between them. Beth was content to watch Hoss work before voicing her thoughts.

"Does Joe like me?"

Hoss's head came up quickly. "What's that?"

"Does Joe like me?" she repeated.

"Yeah, he likes you; he talks about you all the time." He looked sheepish. "And I've seen you two kissing."

She blushed. "Well, yes, but I mean as a friend, as well. It's not just kissing me, is it?"

Hoss looked at Beth, amused that she be concerned. For a moment she looked so young, and vulnerable; younger than the eighteen years she claimed to be.

"You ever notice the way he lights up when he sees you? He says you're easy to talk to. He likes being with you. He told me you're his best friend."

Beth smiled and nodded. "I just wanted to know. Thank you, Hoss."

As she turned to leave, she broke into a coughing fit. Hoss was at her side until it subsided.

"Are you all right, Miss Beth? I can send for Doc Martin if you're not feelin' good."

"I'm fine; just a little cold, I think."

"You sure?"

She nodded, with a hand on her chest, and walked back to the house.

Chapter 9

Joe had ridden into Virginia City for some "fun." Ben cringed inwardly and wondered if there would be damages at the saloon to pay in the morning.

"It's a good thing I got to you first," Adam remarked to Beth as he moved his checker piece. "If Joe had taught you how to play checkers, he would have shown you all the different ways to cheat."

Beth laughed. "I assure you, I would never cheat."

As Adam was about to speak Beth began coughing violently. Hoss hurried to the kitchen to get her a glass of water.

"Thank you," she said after she drank it all. "I don't know what this cough is; I've had it for a while now."

"Do you want to go rest?" Adam asked.

"No, I'll be fine; let's finish this game."

Chapter 10

All the others had gone to bed. Ben was at his desk, trying desperately to finish some paper-

work. He was almost done when he heard a creak on the stairs. Seconds later Joe appeared in his nightshirt. He tip-toed over to Ben.

"Joe, I thought you were asleep," Ben said softly.

"I couldn't sleep, Pa; I keep thinking about Beth."

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me," Ben said with a knowing smile.

Joe smiled, too. "I'm worried about her," he paused, trying to think of a tactful way to say it. "Pa, I think she's hiding something from us. Have you noticed the way she avoids talking about herself?"

"Yes, I've noticed it. You don't think she's commited a crime, do you?"

"No, Pa, nothing like that," Joe said as they moved to the settee.

They were silent, each trying to think of an answer, until Joe spoke again.

"And I think we should take Beth in to Doc Martin about that cough. I could take her in tomorrow."

"No, you and I need to meet with Mr. O' Connolly about the horse contract. I'll have Adam take her in."

* * *

Beth had just changed into a nightgown when she started coughing again. This time the cough wracked her whole frame. She grabbed a hankerchief to muffle the sound, but when she pulled it away it was covered in a thick yellow substance. The sight nauseated her. She had a feeling that something was terribly wrong; that her cough was not simply a cold.

Chapter 11

"Beth," Ben said the next morning after breakfast, "Adam is taking you in to see Doc Martin about that cough."

"All right. I am getting worried about it. Thank you, Adam," she said, visions of what she had seen last night clouding her mind.

"Charlie's got the buggy all ready. See you when we get back, Pa," Adam said, and he opened the door for Beth.

As soon as they arrived in Virginia City, Adam drove straight to Doc Martin's office.

"I'll pick you up in about a half hour," he said as he helped her down.

"That'll be fine, Adam."

Once in Doc Martin's office, Beth felt at ease with the kind man.

"Now then, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Well, I've got a bad cough. I've had it for several weeks, and it seems to be--"

Wracking coughs followed. Dr. Martin grabbed a stethescope and listened to her chest.

"I'm sorry," she gasped. "See, it just comes on at the most inopportune times," she said exasp-

eratedly.

"Take several deep breaths while I listen," he instucted. He examined her, then put his instruments away.

"Beth, have you been coughing up any mucus at all?"

"Yes."

Dr. Martin's expression was pained. He sat down across from Beth, and took her small hand in his.

"Beth, I believe you have tuberculosis."

Beth quickly lowered her head to hide her tears. "People die from that, don't they?"

"Most of the time they do, because they don't know they have it, or they can't get proper treatment. I want you to have the best possible treament, so I think you should be sent to a san-

itorium. I'm sorry, Beth."

She nodded, and walked to the window. Adam was coming with the wagon. Dr. Martin came and stood beside her.

"You'll have to tell them," he said.

"I will. Please don't say anything; I will, but a little later."

"All right. I'll give you a week. Meanwhile, I'll find a suitable sanitorium for you. Until then, plenty of bed rest."

"Thank you," she said simply, and walked out in a daze.

"Is everything all right?" Adam asked as he helped Beth into the buggy.

"Everything's fine," she said, feigning a casual attitude. "Dr. Martin just said to rest in bed for a few days."

Chapter 12

That evening Hop Sing took a tray up to Beth. Ben was reading the newspaper, Hoss was reading a book about cattle, and Adam and Joe were playing chess.

Frowning, Hop Sing came down the stairs with the tray. Nothing had been eaten

"Mista Cartlight! Missy eat nothing. Missy clying in loom," he said worridly, and then disapeared into the kitchen.

"I'll go up," Joe offered.

"No need." Beth stood on the landing. "I have a confession," she said, and paused to take several breaths of air. She was trembling and her face was drawn and worried.

"I lied to you all," she began. I'm not eighteen, I'm sixteen." She looked at Joe, who

had a stunned expression on his face.

"I'm not from Boston, either." She looked at Adam and said, "I suppose you had figured that out." He nodded, and she went on. " I ran away from an orphanage in Oklahoma and decided to come to Virginia City. And I thank God every day that I did." She looked at Joe, then continued. "Adam took me to the doctor today. My cough isn't just a cold; it's tuberculosis."

Their stricken faces showed the compassion they felt for her. She was overwhelmed by this.

"I'm sorry!" she sobbed, and fled to her room.

Joe stood to follow her.

"No Joe, I'll go," Ben said.

He climbed the stairs slowly, and suddenly felt very old and tired.

He knocked softly on Beth's door.

"Come in," she whimpered.

She was lying on her stomach on top of the bedspread, crying softly. Ben sat down beside her and stoked her back.

"Mr. Cartwright, I'm sorry I lied to you. I'm such a terrible person."

"Why did you?" he asked as she sat up and faced him.

"I felt insecure on my own. I didn't want anyone to know how young I was, because I thought they would send me back to an orphanage. I made up the story about being from Boston. I was ashamed to be unwanted. All those years at orphanages. So many people came and looked at us children, and no one ever wanted me."

"Oh, Beth, I'm sorry." He paused, then said, "What about your illness?"

"Dr. Martin said I should be sent to a sanitorium."

"We'll miss you, terribly. And I want you to know that you'll have a home here to come back to when your treatments are done."

She looked at him in astonishment. "I'm still welcome here? After all I lied about?"

"Yes. We care about you. Joe especially does."

"I could have at least told him. He must feel so betrayed. Mr. Cartwright, do you think Joe will still like me? Or would he prefer someone more his own age. Does he think someone my age is too young to fall in love with?"

"I think if he really loves you, he won't care how old or young you are. And you are very mature for your age. You handle yourself like an eighteen year old, maybe even older."

She smiled wanly.

Chapter 13

The next day, Joe was out by the corral, watching the horses that were to be sold. He wasn't sure how he felt about Beth's confession. He still felt warm inside whenever he thought of her, and he still liked her, but he couldn't help feeling hurt that she hadn't confided in him.

He felt a presense.He turned and saw that Beth was watching him. She smiled uncertainly and came up beside him.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked.

He was about to speak when he noticed Adam, Hoss, and Ben watching them from the window.

"Can we go someplace more private?" he asked.

She turned and saw them, too. "Sure."

He took her elbow and guided her a ways away, completely out of sight of the house.

"Why didn't you tell me? Couldn't you trust me?" he almost shouted.

She blinked in surprise. "Joe," she reached for his arm, but he pulled away. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I thought you wouldn't like me if you knew how young I was." She turned away, frustrated, and her voice rose in pitch and sound. "All my life no one took me seriously because I was a child. My own parents abandoned me because they didn't think they could take care of me. I've done some things I shouldn't because I never had parents to teach me. I could only observe the world around me. And I just came to ask you to forgive me, because I don't want us to spend our last days together angry at each other."

That got his attention. "Our last days?"

"I'm leaving soon for a santorium."

Her statement didn't seem to have an effect on him, so she turned to leave. "I'm truly sorry you feel this way."

Chapter 14

Later that day, Adam was chopping wood in back of the house. It was getting hot, and sweat made his clothes cling to his body like a thick plaster.

He saw Beth, now in a lawn print dress, come out the back door.

"Hey Beth," he called.

She came over. "What is it?" she asked.

"What's going on with you and Joe?"

"I don't know what you mean," she said, and started to brush past him. He grabbed her arm.

"You've been avoiding him. You haven't spoken since yesterday when we found out who you really were."

"He doesn't love me!" she shrieked. "He thinks I'm just a little girl who needed someone to feel sorry for her, who tricked him, a dispicable, abhorent little--"

"Stop it!" he shouted. "You obviously don't know my little brother very well. He's a very sensitive person, and you hurt him when you lied to him. So he's sulking; can't you see that?"

"Yes!" she screamed.

They stood there, breathing heavily. Adam still had his hand on her arm. He removed it quicky and swallowed.

"So what's the problem?" he asked.

"I don't know."

But then she melted and poured it out.

"We're both just too stubborn. Each is waiting for the other to give in first." She sat down on the piece of wood that he was splitting firewood on. "I should go and apologize now. We only have three days left. Dr. Martin found a sanitorium for me, and so I'm leaving on the next stage."

Adam turned his back. "Well . . . you'd better go and talk to Joe then.''

Beth thought she detected something in his voice, but dismissed it, and went to find Joe.

Chapter 15

Joe was supervising the breaking of horses at the corral. He had just gotten off of one himself. He was all dusty and still had his chaps on.

He saw Beth coming. He jogged up to her.

"Beth! I'm sorry we argued, and I'd like to wipe the slate clean between us."

"Oh Joe!" she cried, throwing her arms around him. "I was coming here to tell you ex-

actly the same thing!"

* * *

Adam stormed into the house. Ben looked up from his desk in surprise.

"Adam?"

"I want to go into town," he said huskily.

"Do you want to talk about something?" Ben could only see what was on the outside; he had no inkling of the turmoil inside his oldest son.

"No," he answered gruffly. "I just want to go into town."

Ben sighed. "All right. Be careful; don't do anything in haste."

Adam nodded and strapped on his gun. He jammed on his hat and stalked out the door, slamming it.

Minutes later Ben heard him galloping away on Sport.

* * *

Adam barged into the Bucket of Blood Saloon. He stomped up to the bar.

"Whiskey!" he barked. "Leave the bottle."

He tossed some coins on the bar, grabbed the bottle and glass and strode to a table in the back. His favorite table in the back corner, where he could see all that went on in the saloon.

He sloppily poured himself a generous drink, sloshing it over the sides of the glass. The evening hadn't even started yet, and he was already acting like a drunk.

He gulped it down, gagging piteously afterwards.

Minutes later the bottle was empty. He staggered up to the bar for another one.

"I think you've had enough, Adam," the bartender said.

"I haven't even started, yet," Adam growled. "Gimme another bottle." He put more coins on the bar, more than was needed. The bartender reluctantly handed him another.

As he was going back to his table, a man slammed into him.

"Watch where you're going!" Adam yelled.

The other man was drunk also, and he took a swing at Adam. Adam fought back. Instantly the whole incident erupted into a full blown barfight. Everyone joined in. Chairs and bottles were flying. It seemed as though every man in the saloon had been waiting for a chance to blow off pent-up steam. The bartender watched in horror as a heavy wooden chair sailed through the front window. That brought attention from outside.

Roy Coffee came in, and yelled for them to stop. Startled, everyone froze.

"Who started it?" he asked calmly. Everyone pointed to Adam, who was still holding his empty whiskey bottle. The whiskey had been flung all over the room while he was fighting with one hand.

"Come on over to the jail, Adam."

Uncomprehending, Adam stood there. The bottle slipped from his hand and shattered. Then he passed out on the floor.

Several men came forward and carried him to the jail, with Roy following.

"Right in here," Roy gestured to an empty cell. The dumped him on the cot, then hurried back outside to avoid interrogation.

Chapter 16

Adam had already been sleeping for hours, and Roy didn't think he would be waking up anytime soon, so he decided to ride to the Ponderosa and tell Ben what happened.

* * *

Everyone was gathered at the table for supper when someone knocked on the door. Ben went and answered it.

"Roy, come in."

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Ben, but I think you should know what happened earlier. Adam started a whopper of a saloon brawl. There was a lot of damage."

Ben sighed. "I should have known this would happen."

Roy looked at him, puzzled.

Ben explained. "He came in here upset about something, and asked for the rest of the day off so he could go into town. I asked if he wanted to talk about it. He said no, he just wanted to go into town." He shook his head ruefully. "I should have made him talk."

Roy scuffed the floor with his boot. "Anyway, I've got him locked up at the jail, As soon as he's sober I'll send him home; after he goes to the saloon and pays the damages."

After Roy left, Beth began coughing uncontrollably. Everyone rushed over.

"Joe, get her some water!" Ben ordered.

Beth pulled out her hankerchief and pressed it against her mouth. The fit ended, and she soothed her throat with the cool water. Then she sank onto the settee.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"You can't help it," Hoss said, comforting her. "Don't worry about it. Soon you'll be at that place, and they're gonna fix you up real good; you'll be good as new in no time."

Chapter 17

The next morning Adam was back at the Ponderosa. When the others were almost finished with beakfast, he came down.

His buttons were done up wrong, his hair was mussed up, he hadn't shaved, and his shirt was tucked in irregularly.

"Good morning, Adam," Ben said brightly.

"Could you please not shout?" Adam said grumpily, before taking a swallow of strong black coffee. "Where's Beth?"

"She ate early; she's outside somewhere," Hoss informed him.

"Where's Joe?"

"He went out early to round up some strays," Ben answered.

Adam pushed back his chair and walked outside. He found Beth sitting on the fence, engrossed in Paradise Lost.

"Hi," he said awkwardly.

She looked up. "Oh, Adam, are you all right?"

"Yeah," he replied, climbing up on the fence beside her. "I owe you an explanation."

She lowerd her gaze. "I think I know what it is," she perceived in a whisper.

He took her hand in both of his. "Beth, when I first met you, it was like 'oh great, Joe's got another beau, something to keep him busy', but the longer you stayed, the stronger my feelings for you became. I tried to ignore them, but . . ." His voice trailed off.

"Adam, I feel the same way."

Her gentle voice made him look up. He reached up and stroked her cheek. She slid off the fence and looked up at him. He lowered his head, and she stood on tip-toe, placing her hands on his sides, and his around her slender waist, touching their lips in a gentle kiss.

When it ended, Adam began pacing. "This is crazy!" He came and faced her again. "Beth, I'm thirty-two years old, sixteen years older than you. This seems wrong. You need someone younger, like Joe."

"It would be too painful to have to choose between the two of you. I think everything will settle down after I leave."

"I can't see how that could be," he said, anguished, as he hugged her, burying his face in her chestnut locks, savoring the feel, the scent, the magical moment.

"You mustn't tell anyone of this. Keep it a secret, and we'll see what happens. I care deeply for both of you, but whichever of you is still interested when I come back, I'll choose him."

Adam nodded. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too."

Chapter 18

It was here. The morning she had to leave. In her room, Beth fought back tears. These people were her family. They wanted her. And there were two men in love with her. It was all happen-

ing so fast. She sat weakly on the bed.

"I guess I grew up," she thought.

She looked around the familier room. The window, where she watched every sunrise. She fingered the lace curtains she had hung there.

She had had a portrait made of all of them in Virginia City one day. That was now her most prized possesion. Something to take with her and cherish during the months in the sanitorium.

Months. That's how long she would be gone. How would she stand it? Anything could happen between now and then. What if both Adam and Joe found someone else special? There was still Hoss, but she didn't have romantic feelings for him. He was like a brother to her, not a prospective beau.

She made fists, fell to her knees on the floor, and gazed heavenward.

"Lord, be with them. Bless them. Keep me strong so I can come back to them." In her sorrow, she heavily accented the last words. "Let me live. Amen."

Someone knocked.

"Come in," she said, getting up.

The door opened and Joe walked in. "We're ready to go," he said, twisting his hat in his hands.

They rushed to each other and wrapped their arms around each other, hugging fiercely.

"Joe," she said, pulling away, "I have to say this. If you find somebody else, don't feel like you have to remain loyal to me. I'll be gone for a long time, after all."

"There could never be anyone else," he insisted.

"I know that's how you feel right now. It's just that you might feel different later. And I want you to know that it's all right."

He looked at her, amazed by this unselfishness. "We'd better go downstairs," he said, his voice husky with stifled emotion.

No one was downstairs except Adam, leaning on the credenza. Joe held the door open for Beth.

"Oh, I forgot something in my room; you go ahead, Joe. I'll meet everyone out by the buggy," she said.

"All right."

As soon as he was gone, Adam and Beth stole into the corner by Ben's desk. They kissed hungrily, because there wouldn't be a tomorrow for a while, maybe never.

"I love you," she said. "But, Adam, I told Joe this, too. If you want to be with someone else, I'll understand. Don't wait for me if you don't want to, please. I want you to be happy."

"I want to wait for you. And I will. That's my vow to you, Beth."

She pressed herself against him, etching him into her mind.

"I'm ready to go now."

They walked out together, careful to act casual in front of Joe.

Chapter 19

The ride into Virginia City was silent. Beth sat beside Ben, who was driving in front. She snuggled against him and he smiled, a sad smile.

"My father," she thought.

She felt a pang when Virginia City came into view.

"It's really happening!" her brain screamed.

Ben went and solemnly bought her stagecoach ticket, and the driver loaded her bags.

As a family, they only had a few precious minutes to say goodbye. She hugged everyone.

"I'll write to you, and you be sure and write back," she told them all.

"We will," Ben told her.

"All right, folks, time to go!" the driver called.

Hoss helped her into the stagecoach.

"I love you all," she said softly. Chapter 1

All of the Cartwright men were in Virginia City getting supplies. They saw the stage come in. Joe smiled when he saw a lovely young woman step from it.

"I think I'll go help her; she looks confused," he said, starting to walk in that direction.

"Now Joe," Hoss said, and put a restraining hand on Joe's arm, "Don't you think she looks a bit young for you?"

Joe removed Hoss's hand and said smoothly, "Now Hoss, I am twenty years old, and I think that makes me old enough to decide for myself." And with that he walked in the girl's direcion.

"May I help you?" Beth heard someone say. She turned and saw a handsome, smiling face.

"Pardon?"she asked.

"May I help you?" he repeated and smiled again.

"Yes, I don't know where to go," she said, sheepish to admit it.

"Are you staying with anybody here?"

"No."

"All right then, I'll take you to the hotel," Joe said. He scooped up her bags and jerked his head in the direction of the hotel. Beth followed him.

"I'm Joe Cartwright."

"I'm pleased to meet you. My name is Beth Shultz."

"Pleased to meet you, too. Where are you from?"

Beth's face paled slightly. "I, uh, I'm from Boston," she stammered.

Beth tried to act confident as she walked up to the front desk. She looked back at Joe, who had drifted over to a group of men he seemed to know.

"Hey, Joe, who's the girl?" asked one of his friends.

"Her name is Beth Shultz. She just came in on the stage," Joe answered. He glanced over at Beth, who was busy talking to the clerk.

"I'd like to take a room for a week," Beth told the clerk.

"All right; sign here, please," the clerk said.

"I'll pay in advance," she said, withdrawing some bills from her handbag.

"Hey, Joe," he called, "would you show the young lady to room eleven? That new bellboy I hired didn't come in to work today."

"Sure. This way, Miss Shultz." Again, Joe took her bags and headed up the stairs.

"Thank you, Mr. Cartwright," Beth said.

"Please, call me Joe."

Beth smiled. "And you must call me Beth."

"Say, how about having dinner with me and my family at our ranch?"

Joe saw Beth hesitate, then she smiled. "I'd love to. When would be a good night for you?"

"Tomorrow night?" he asked hopefully.

"All right." Beth wondered if she was being too forward.

"Fine, I'll pick you up at six o'clock."

Joe smiled his woman-killer smile and tipped his hat. Then he was gone.

Chapter 2

Joe came through the door of the Ponderosa ranch house, whistling a merry tune.

"Adam, what do you think's gotten into our little brother?" said Hoss in a teasing tone.

"I'm not sure,"Adam replied in the same tone. "It wouldn't happen to have anything to do with that pretty girl we saw you with, now would it?"

"Actually, it does," Joe said, and then turned to Ben. "Pa, I invited her to dinner tomorrow night. I hope that's all right."

"Of course. We'll all be here, right boys?" Ben answered.

"Yes, sir," Adam and Hoss answered simultaneouly.

The next evening Beth was worried.

Just then she heard someone knock on the door. She stole a last glance at herself in the mirror, then smoothed her skirt and opened the door.

"Joe," she said, and smiled.

"Are you ready to go, then?" Joe asked.

"Yes, I am."

Joe offered her his arm, which she took, grateful for the support it gave, because her knees were weak from nervousness.

Joe helped her into the carrige, then took his seat beside her. Then they were off to the Pon-

derosa.

"So, what brings you to Virginia City, Beth?" Joe asked her.

"I read about it in a newspaper, and it sounded like an exciting place to visit; I don't know how long I'll stay; maybe forever."

Joe looked at her in surprise. "Don't you have family back in Boston?"

"No."

Chapter 3

Soon they came into view of of the ranch house. Ben came out, followed by Adam and Hoss, as Joe helped Beth from the carrige.

"Pa, this is Beth Shultz. Beth, this is my father, Ben Cartwright," Joe introduced.

"I'm very pleased to meet you, Beth," Ben said warmly.

"The same here, Mr. Cartwright."

"These are my brothers, Hoss and Adam," Joe gestured to them.

Adam came forward. "It's a pleasure, Beth."

"It's real nice to meet you, Miss Beth," Hoss said shyly. His face turned pink when Beth smiled at him.

Joe studied Beth during supper. She seemed quite at ease with them, but he noticed that whenever asked about her home back East, she would falter and give a short or monosyllable answer.

"She's probably just shy," he thought.

When the evening ended, Joe drove Beth back to Virginia City. At the door to her room he took off his hat.

"Thank you for a lovely evening, Joe."

"You were the lovely part," he answered. Then he tilted her chin up, and their lips met in a tender kiss.

Inside, Beth was terrified. "He's kissing me! And he's only known me a day. Oh well, he probably knows what he's doing," she thought. She managed to remain calm, and even sur-

prised herself by kissing Joe back.

Chapter 4

"Joe," Ben said one morning at breakfast, "I want you to come into Virginia City with me. Hoss, Adam, I want you to check and mend fences in the North pasture."

Everyone finished breakfast and then headed off to do the day's tasks.

Ben and Joe rode into Virginia City and tended to the business they had there. They were about to leave, when Joe aked Ben if he could go see Beth.

"Well, all right. But try not to take too long. We have work to do at home."

"Thanks, Pa." Joe flashed him a bright smile and sauntered over to the hotel. Just as he stepped through the door, he saw a man blocking Beth's way as she tried to go up the stairs.

"What's yer hurry?" the man drawled. From his sluggish movements and slurred speech, Joe assumed he was drunk.

"Let me pass!" Beth said

"C' mon with me, honey," the man said, and tugged on her arm.

Panicking, Beth screamed. "Let me go!"

A man came into the hotel, followed closely by Sheriff Coffee.

"Thanks," Sheriff Coffee said to the man, who nodded and left.

"All right, Joe, I'll take care of him."

Joe twirled his gun into its holster, and turned to Beth. "Pack your bags; you're coming to the Ponderosa."

"Are . . . are you sure it would be all right?"

"I'm sure. Now, you go pack your bags; I'll go tell Pa."

Beth nodded and hurried upstairs.

Ben praised Joe for his decision when he heard what had happened.

"That hotel has too many rowdy people staying there; it's no place for a lady. I'll head back to the Ponderosa and have Hop Sing get the guestroom ready for her," he said, and rode off.

Joe saw Beth come out of the hotel a few minutes later.

"I rented a carrige," he told her. "Pa went ahead to get Hop Sing to fix up a room for you."

He put her bags in the buggy, then helped her up and climbed up beside her.

"Are you absolutely sure this is all right? I don't want to be a bother."

"Of course, Beth. You'll have a great time at the Ponderosa. I'll see if I can take a few days off to spend with you." He smiled at her.

"Thank you, Joe," she said, and shyly tucked her arm in the crook of his elbow.

Ben greeted them at the ranch house as Joe pulled the horses to a halt.

"Beth it's good to see you again. I'm sorry about what happened."

"He didn't hurt me; just frightened me."

"Joe, will you show Beth up to the guestroom?" Ben asked.

"Sure, Pa." Joe took her bags and led the way up the stairs. "I've kinda got a feeling I've done this before," he said with a smile.

Joe set the bags on the bed, and on the way out he paused. "Uh, supper's not for several hours; would you like to go riding with me?"

"I'd love to! I haven't done much riding before, though."

"I can give you some pointers. How about you meet me in the barn in fifteen minutes?"

"Fine. See you then," she said with a smile.

Chapter 5

When Beth met Joe in the barn, she was clothed in a gray split riding skirt and a white blouse. Her riding boots were black leather.

"I picked out a gentle horse for you," Joe said, and led her to a small dappled gray.

"Oh she's so pretty! What's her name?"

"Regina. Adam named her after an old beau of his."

They both snickered together over that.

"Well, let's get you up on that horse."

After Beth was on Regina, Joe swing mounted his splashy pinto, Cochise.

Beth turned out to be a better rider than she claimed.

"At this pace, we can make it to the lake and back before supper. Would you like to?"

Beth agreed, and for a while they let their horses run.

They pulled up their horses and dismounted. The sight of Lake Tahoe took Beth's breath away.

"Oh, Joe, it's beautiful," she breathed.

"Not half as beautiful as the young lady beside me."

brace.

After a moment Joe pulled away. "We should be getting back, " he said, his voice husky.

"Race you!" Beth challenged after Joe had vaulted into the saddle, and she took off. Joe laughed and urged Cochise into a run.

Chapter 6

Ben, Adam, Hoss, and Little Joe were all out working. Beth was in the house alone, except for Hop Sing, who was busy working in the kitchen.

She randomly picked a book off the shelf and plopped down on the settee to read it.

Adam stretched after stabling his horse, Sport.

"How nice to have a day off," he thought. "I'll go inside and read for a while, wander aimlessly through the house, and maybe go to town in the evening for a beer or two and play some poker."

He went inside and found Beth on the settee.

"Oh, hi, Beth," he said, reaching down to untie the rawhide string around his thigh.

"Adam! What are you doing home so soon?"

"It's my day off," he replied, laying his gunbelt on the cradenza. He took off his hat and hung it on its peg. "What are you reading?"

"Uh, I don't know. I just took it off the shelf; I'm not really reading it," she admited sheepishly.

He took it and turned it over. "Ah, Paradise Lost, one of my favorites. Have you read it before?"

"No, I guess I should, though."

For a while they sat together on the settee and talked about many different topics. Adam was curious about Beth, but she parried all of his questions.

Chapter 7

"Hop Sing, that was excellent!" Ben praised after supper.

The others echoed similar compliments and made their way to the parlor.

"I'm going out for some air," Beth said, moving toward the door.

"I'll come with you," Joe said, flashing a smile as he held the door open for her.

"Joe, are you hurt?" she exclaimed.

"I'm fine," Joe said, locking eyes with her.

Beth felt Joe tense at her hand on his shoulder, and wondered if he didn't like it. She started to pull away, when Joe's arm came around, pulling her to him.

They kissed hungrily, wrapping their arms around each other.

Ben saw them, in a passionate embrace, from the window. His raised his eyebrows rather disaprovingly, but turned away.

Their hearts were racing, and their temperatures went way up. He kissed her the way he had never kissed anyone before.

Finally, needing air, Beth pulled away and rolled off him, clasping his hand.

Helping her up, he said, "I love you so much, Beth."

Beth's eyes were wide and bright, shining with adoration.

"No one could ever love you as much as I love you, Joe," she answered, stroking his jawline, and then lightly brushed his cheek with her lips before going back to the house.

Chapter 8

The next day, Beth went into the barn and found Hoss repairing some leather harnesses.

"Hello," she began shyly. She went and stood near him, watching him work.

"Hi, Miss Beth. I guess Joe is out working, huh?"

"Yeah, but there are lots of things to do without him. I sat around the house for a while, then sat some more."

Hoss threw back his head and laughed heartily. "I guess there's not much for a young lady to do around here."

A short silence passed between them. Beth was content to watch Hoss work before voicing her thoughts.

"Does Joe like me?"

Hoss's head came up quickly. "What's that?"

"Does Joe like me?" she repeated.

"Yeah, he likes you; he talks about you all the time." He looked sheepish. "And I've seen you two kissing."

She blushed. "Well, yes, but I mean as a friend, as well. It's not just kissing me, is it?"

Hoss looked at Beth, amused that she be concerned. For a moment she looked so young, and vulnerable; younger than the eighteen years she claimed to be.

"You ever notice the way he lights up when he sees you? He says you're easy to talk to. He likes being with you. He told me you're his best friend."

Beth smiled and nodded. "I just wanted to know. Thank you, Hoss."

As she turned to leave, she broke into a coughing fit. Hoss was at her side until it subsided.

"Are you all right, Miss Beth? I can send for Doc Martin if you're not feelin' good."

"I'm fine; just a little cold, I think."

"You sure?"

She nodded, with a hand on her chest, and walked back to the house.

Chapter 9

Joe had ridden into Virginia City for some "fun." Ben cringed inwardly and wondered if there would be damages at the saloon to pay in the morning.

"It's a good thing I got to you first," Adam remarked to Beth as he moved his checker piece. "If Joe had taught you how to play checkers, he would have shown you all the different ways to cheat."

Beth laughed. "I assure you, I would never cheat."

As Adam was about to speak Beth began coughing violently. Hoss hurried to the kitchen to get her a glass of water.

"Thank you," she said after she drank it all. "I don't know what this cough is; I've had it for a while now."

"Do you want to go rest?" Adam asked.

"No, I'll be fine; let's finish this game."

Chapter 10

All the others had gone to bed. Ben was at his desk, trying desperately to finish some paper-

work. He was almost done when he heard a creak on the stairs. Seconds later Joe appeared in his nightshirt. He tip-toed over to Ben.

"Joe, I thought you were asleep," Ben said softly.

"I couldn't sleep, Pa; I keep thinking about Beth."

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me," Ben said with a knowing smile.

"Yes, I've noticed it. You don't think she's commited a crime, do you?"

"No, Pa, nothing like that," Joe said as they moved to the settee.

They were silent, each trying to think of an answer, until Joe spoke again.

"And I think we should take Beth in to Doc Martin about that cough. I could take her in tomorrow."

"No, you and I need to meet with Mr. O' Connolly about the horse contract. I'll have Adam take her in."

* * *

Chapter 11

"Beth," Ben said the next morning after breakfast, "Adam is taking you in to see Doc Martin about that cough."

"All right. I am getting worried about it. Thank you, Adam," she said, visions of what she had seen last night clouding her mind.

"Charlie's got the buggy all ready. See you when we get back, Pa," Adam said, and he opened the door for Beth.

As soon as they arrived in Virginia City, Adam drove straight to Doc Martin's office.

"I'll pick you up in about a half hour," he said as he helped her down.

"That'll be fine, Adam."

Once in Doc Martin's office, Beth felt at ease with the kind man.

"Now then, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Well, I've got a bad cough. I've had it for several weeks, and it seems to be--"

Wracking coughs followed. Dr. Martin grabbed a stethescope and listened to her chest.

"I'm sorry," she gasped. "See, it just comes on at the most inopportune times," she said exasp-

eratedly.

"Take several deep breaths while I listen," he instucted. He examined her, then put his instruments away.

"Beth, have you been coughing up any mucus at all?"

"Yes."

Dr. Martin's expression was pained. He sat down across from Beth, and took her small hand in his.

"Beth, I believe you have tuberculosis."

Beth quickly lowered her head to hide her tears. "People die from that, don't they?"

"Most of the time they do, because they don't know they have it, or they can't get proper treatment. I want you to have the best possible treament, so I think you should be sent to a san-

itorium. I'm sorry, Beth."

She nodded, and walked to the window. Adam was coming with the wagon. Dr. Martin came and stood beside her.

"You'll have to tell them," he said.

"I will. Please don't say anything; I will, but a little later."

"All right. I'll give you a week. Meanwhile, I'll find a suitable sanitorium for you. Until then, plenty of bed rest."

"Thank you," she said simply, and walked out in a daze.

"Is everything all right?" Adam asked as he helped Beth into the buggy.

"Everything's fine," she said, feigning a casual attitude. "Dr. Martin just said to rest in bed for a few days."

Chapter 12

That evening Hop Sing took a tray up to Beth. Ben was reading the newspaper, Hoss was reading a book about cattle, and Adam and Joe were playing chess.

Frowning, Hop Sing came down the stairs with the tray. Nothing had been eaten

"Mista Cartlight! Missy eat nothing. Missy clying in loom," he said worridly, and then disapeared into the kitchen.

"I'll go up," Joe offered.

"No need." Beth stood on the landing. "I have a confession," she said, and paused to take several breaths of air. She was trembling and her face was drawn and worried.

"I lied to you all," she began. I'm not eighteen, I'm sixteen." She looked at Joe, who

had a stunned expression on his face.

Their stricken faces showed the compassion they felt for her. She was overwhelmed by this.

"I'm sorry!" she sobbed, and fled to her room.

Joe stood to follow her.

"No Joe, I'll go," Ben said.

He climbed the stairs slowly, and suddenly felt very old and tired.

He knocked softly on Beth's door.

"Come in," she whimpered.

She was lying on her stomach on top of the bedspread, crying softly. Ben sat down beside her and stoked her back.

"Mr. Cartwright, I'm sorry I lied to you. I'm such a terrible person."

"Why did you?" he asked as she sat up and faced him.

"Oh, Beth, I'm sorry." He paused, then said, "What about your illness?"

"Dr. Martin said I should be sent to a sanitorium."

"We'll miss you, terribly. And I want you to know that you'll have a home here to come back to when your treatments are done."

She looked at him in astonishment. "I'm still welcome here? After all I lied about?"

"Yes. We care about you. Joe especially does."

"I think if he really loves you, he won't care how old or young you are. And you are very mature for your age. You handle yourself like an eighteen year old, maybe even older."

She smiled wanly.

Chapter 13

He felt a presense.He turned and saw that Beth was watching him. She smiled uncertainly and came up beside him.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked.

He was about to speak when he noticed Adam, Hoss, and Ben watching them from the window.

"Can we go someplace more private?" he asked.

She turned and saw them, too. "Sure."

He took her elbow and guided her a ways away, completely out of sight of the house.

"Why didn't you tell me? Couldn't you trust me?" he almost shouted.

That got his attention. "Our last days?"

"I'm leaving soon for a santorium."

Her statement didn't seem to have an effect on him, so she turned to leave. "I'm truly sorry you feel this way."

Chapter 14

Later that day, Adam was chopping wood in back of the house. It was getting hot, and sweat made his clothes cling to his body like a thick plaster.

He saw Beth, now in a lawn print dress, come out the back door.

"Hey Beth," he called.

She came over. "What is it?" she asked.

"What's going on with you and Joe?"

"I don't know what you mean," she said, and started to brush past him. He grabbed her arm.

"You've been avoiding him. You haven't spoken since yesterday when we found out who you really were."

"He doesn't love me!" she shrieked. "He thinks I'm just a little girl who needed someone to feel sorry for her, who tricked him, a dispicable, abhorent little--"

"Stop it!" he shouted. "You obviously don't know my little brother very well. He's a very sensitive person, and you hurt him when you lied to him. So he's sulking; can't you see that?"

"Yes!" she screamed.

They stood there, breathing heavily. Adam still had his hand on her arm. He removed it quicky and swallowed.

"So what's the problem?" he asked.

"I don't know."

But then she melted and poured it out.

Adam turned his back. "Well . . . you'd better go and talk to Joe then.''

Beth thought she detected something in his voice, but dismissed it, and went to find Joe.

Chapter 15

Joe was supervising the breaking of horses at the corral. He had just gotten off of one himself. He was all dusty and still had his chaps on.

He saw Beth coming. He jogged up to her.

"Beth! I'm sorry we argued, and I'd like to wipe the slate clean between us."

"Oh Joe!" she cried, throwing her arms around him. "I was coming here to tell you ex-

actly the same thing!"

* * *

Adam stormed into the house. Ben looked up from his desk in surprise.

"Adam?"

"I want to go into town," he said huskily.

"Do you want to talk about something?" Ben could only see what was on the outside; he had no inkling of the turmoil inside his oldest son.

"No," he answered gruffly. "I just want to go into town."

Ben sighed. "All right. Be careful; don't do anything in haste."

Adam nodded and strapped on his gun. He jammed on his hat and stalked out the door, slamming it.

Minutes later Ben heard him galloping away on Sport.

* * *

Adam barged into the Bucket of Blood Saloon. He stomped up to the bar.

"Whiskey!" he barked. "Leave the bottle."

He tossed some coins on the bar, grabbed the bottle and glass and strode to a table in the back. His favorite table in the back corner, where he could see all that went on in the saloon.

He sloppily poured himself a generous drink, sloshing it over the sides of the glass. The evening hadn't even started yet, and he was already acting like a drunk.

He gulped it down, gagging piteously afterwards.

Minutes later the bottle was empty. He staggered up to the bar for another one.

"I think you've had enough, Adam," the bartender said.

"I haven't even started, yet," Adam growled. "Gimme another bottle." He put more coins on the bar, more than was needed. The bartender reluctantly handed him another.

As he was going back to his table, a man slammed into him.

"Watch where you're going!" Adam yelled.

Roy Coffee came in, and yelled for them to stop. Startled, everyone froze.

"Who started it?" he asked calmly. Everyone pointed to Adam, who was still holding his empty whiskey bottle. The whiskey had been flung all over the room while he was fighting with one hand.

"Come on over to the jail, Adam."

Uncomprehending, Adam stood there. The bottle slipped from his hand and shattered. Then he passed out on the floor.

Several men came forward and carried him to the jail, with Roy following.

"Right in here," Roy gestured to an empty cell. The dumped him on the cot, then hurried back outside to avoid interrogation.

Chapter 16

Adam had already been sleeping for hours, and Roy didn't think he would be waking up anytime soon, so he decided to ride to the Ponderosa and tell Ben what happened.

* * *

Everyone was gathered at the table for supper when someone knocked on the door. Ben went and answered it.

"Roy, come in."

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Ben, but I think you should know what happened earlier. Adam started a whopper of a saloon brawl. There was a lot of damage."

Ben sighed. "I should have known this would happen."

Roy looked at him, puzzled.

Roy scuffed the floor with his boot. "Anyway, I've got him locked up at the jail, As soon as he's sober I'll send him home; after he goes to the saloon and pays the damages."

After Roy left, Beth began coughing uncontrollably. Everyone rushed over.

"Joe, get her some water!" Ben ordered.

Beth pulled out her hankerchief and pressed it against her mouth. The fit ended, and she soothed her throat with the cool water. Then she sank onto the settee.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"You can't help it," Hoss said, comforting her. "Don't worry about it. Soon you'll be at that place, and they're gonna fix you up real good; you'll be good as new in no time."

Chapter 17

The next morning Adam was back at the Ponderosa. When the others were almost finished with beakfast, he came down.

His buttons were done up wrong, his hair was mussed up, he hadn't shaved, and his shirt was tucked in irregularly.

"Good morning, Adam," Ben said brightly.

"Could you please not shout?" Adam said grumpily, before taking a swallow of strong black coffee. "Where's Beth?"

"She ate early; she's outside somewhere," Hoss informed him.

"Where's Joe?"

"He went out early to round up some strays," Ben answered.

Adam pushed back his chair and walked outside. He found Beth sitting on the fence, engrossed in Paradise Lost.

"Hi," he said awkwardly.

She looked up. "Oh, Adam, are you all right?"

"Yeah," he replied, climbing up on the fence beside her. "I owe you an explanation."

She lowerd her gaze. "I think I know what it is," she perceived in a whisper.

"Adam, I feel the same way."

When it ended, Adam began pacing. "This is crazy!" He came and faced her again. "Beth, I'm thirty-two years old, sixteen years older than you. This seems wrong. You need someone younger, like Joe."

"It would be too painful to have to choose between the two of you. I think everything will settle down after I leave."

"I can't see how that could be," he said, anguished, as he hugged her, burying his face in her chestnut locks, savoring the feel, the scent, the magical moment.

"You mustn't tell anyone of this. Keep it a secret, and we'll see what happens. I care deeply for both of you, but whichever of you is still interested when I come back, I'll choose him."

Adam nodded. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too."

Chapter 18

It was here. The morning she had to leave. In her room, Beth fought back tears. These people were her family. They wanted her. And there were two men in love with her. It was all happen-

ing so fast. She sat weakly on the bed.

"I guess I grew up," she thought.

She looked around the familier room. The window, where she watched every sunrise. She fingered the lace curtains she had hung there.

She had had a portrait made of all of them in Virginia City one day. That was now her most prized possesion. Something to take with her and cherish during the months in the sanitorium.

She made fists, fell to her knees on the floor, and gazed heavenward.

"Lord, be with them. Bless them. Keep me strong so I can come back to them." In her sorrow, she heavily accented the last words. "Let me live. Amen."

Someone knocked.

"Come in," she said, getting up.

The door opened and Joe walked in. "We're ready to go," he said, twisting his hat in his hands.

They rushed to each other and wrapped their arms around each other, hugging fiercely.

"Joe," she said, pulling away, "I have to say this. If you find somebody else, don't feel like you have to remain loyal to me. I'll be gone for a long time, after all."

"There could never be anyone else," he insisted.

"I know that's how you feel right now. It's just that you might feel different later. And I want you to know that it's all right."

He looked at her, amazed by this unselfishness. "We'd better go downstairs," he said, his voice husky with stifled emotion.

No one was downstairs except Adam, leaning on the credenza. Joe held the door open for Beth.

"Oh, I forgot something in my room; you go ahead, Joe. I'll meet everyone out by the buggy," she said.

"All right."

As soon as he was gone, Adam and Beth stole into the corner by Ben's desk. They kissed hungrily, because there wouldn't be a tomorrow for a while, maybe never.

"I love you," she said. "But, Adam, I told Joe this, too. If you want to be with someone else, I'll understand. Don't wait for me if you don't want to, please. I want you to be happy."

"I want to wait for you. And I will. That's my vow to you, Beth."

She pressed herself against him, etching him into her mind.

"I'm ready to go now."

They walked out together, careful to act casual in front of Joe.

Chapter 19

The ride into Virginia City was silent. Beth sat beside Ben, who was driving in front. She snuggled against him and he smiled, a sad smile.

"My father," she thought.

She felt a pang when Virginia City came into view.

"It's really happening!" her brain screamed.

Ben went and solemnly bought her stagecoach ticket, and the driver loaded her bags.

As a family, they only had a few precious minutes to say goodbye. She hugged everyone.

"I'll write to you, and you be sure and write back," she told them all.

"We will," Ben told her.

"All right, folks, time to go!" the driver called.

Hoss helped her into the stagecoach.

"I love you all," she said softly.

The driver yelled to the horses, and they were off. Something broke away from her heart and floated back to them, never again to return to her.

"Never forget me . . ." she whispered.

The End

Started May 2005

Finished November 6, 2005

Author's Note: The characters of Bonanza do not belong to me. My younger sister, Sarah, was a great help in editing and researched tuberculosis for me.

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