Blind Man’s Fault

By K.K. Shaulis*

“Josey,” Adam Cartwright softly rapped on the guest bedroom door. “Pa wants you to come down and have dinner with the rest of us. I personally wanted to starve you but he said no,” he tried a little joke. Silence. “Josey, I know that you probably don’t feel much like looking across the table at me right now but could you please come down with me? Otherwise, Pa will come up here and drag you down there and you know that that won’t be pretty so do yourself a favor and open the door.” Again he received no response.

Hmmm, he thought to himself. Do I risk her wrath for entering her room without her permission or do I risk the wrath of Pa for coming downstairs empty-handed? It was no contest.

He slowly opened the door just a little, then ducked in case an object came flying past him. Nothing.

“Josey?” he stuck his head in and was surprised to see no cousin, no big blue valise or no black hat or no silver plated hairbrush or no perfume bottles. No sign of Josey anywhere. Only a piece of paper pinned to a pillow. He was stunned. He unpinned the note and began to read.

Oh-oh, his mind wandered back to lunch when he and she had had a tremendous fight over – what was it? Hawthrone’s Scarlet Letter….

* * * *

“What in tarnation do you suppose happened to Adam? Ben looked at his other two sons who had already started to serve themselves from the dishes that Hop Sing had placed on the table. Both looked at each other and chuckled.

“Okay, you two. What’s going on that I don’t know about?”

They looked at each other again and grinned.

“Well?”

“It’s just that Adam and Josey had another one of their set-to’s,” Joe rolled his eyes and looked up at the ceiling.

“Oh, yes?” Ben looked at his youngest for the details.

“Well, Pa, Josey rode in at top speed about one thirty and she was fuming. I asked her about Adam and she actually growled at me and went into the house,” Joe began to cut his meat with his knife. “She was so ferocious that I half expected us to find him dead somewhere along the side of the road.”

“Adam was in about the same state, Pa,” Hoss loaded his plate with potatoes. “He got back about half an hour later with Sport carrying more cargo than a packhorse. I ask him if he had a good time and – well,” he laughed, “He said something about being dragged through cactus naked.”

“That’s about the same sort of thing he said to me after he took a poke at Jeremy Donahue for dancing too close to Josey at the social and Josey clobbered him and left him stranded on the side of the road on the way back home,” Joe also laughed.

“How about when Josey flattened him with her big blue valise when he dared to suggest that she shouldn’t be spending so much time after church with the new young doctor?” Hoss chuckled. “Of course, Josey’s getting just as bad.”

“Remember how she got all upset because Adam took Sadie Jones and her little girl home from the stage and he made Josey ride in the back of the buckboard?” Joe cackled putting down his knife. “She like near poisoned him by serving him coffee with a healthy dose of cayenne pepper. Then Sara Jane Baker only asked for a hand down from her buggy and Josey trampled the poor woman’s hat by accident – only I’m not too sure it was an accident.”

Ben wearily sank back in his chair and sighed. “When do you think they’re going to realize that they’re meant for each other and put us and the rest of Nevada out of their misery?

“Well, Pa, didn’t Shakespeare say ‘Love is blind’?” Hoss observed, picking up the gravy bowl.

“I don’t think Shakespeare was referring to someone who is too blind to see he’s in love,” Ben shook his head. “Didn’t he mean that lovers overlook each other’s flaws?” He looked at Joe.

“I think you’re asking the wrong son, Pa,” Joe grinned, sipping his coffee. “Maybe the ‘blind man’ can help you out if he ever gets down here with Josey.”

“Well, if he doesn’t claim this pork chop soon, it’s mine,” Hoss declared tearing into his food.

* * * *

Unaware of the literary discussion that was going on one floor below him, Adam continued to pour over the details of the noon day meal with the petite redhead. It started out as such a pleasant outing, Adam recalled in his mind’s eye. Hop Sing had packed them a nice picnic lunch and the weather couldn’t have been better. The spot he had chosen by the lake was one that he used to picnic with young ladies before. But, of course, Josey wasn’t like the other young ladies. She was just his pretty little “pain in the neck” cousin from back East who always seemed to aggravate him. Ever since she had arrived about two months ago for her summer vacation from the drudgeries of her San Francisco newspaper job, they had been going at it tooth and nail.

Of course, he tapped the note against his chin, it wasn’t really his fault. He tried his best to see eye to eye with her and, in his opinion, had made major concessions to keep the peace, albeit it an uneasy one at times. She had always been stubborn and opinionated ever since he first met her when he was eight and she was five. Lately, however, they had been getting along together better than they ever had since they were teenagers and…

She was, after all, he admitted grudgingly, smart and witty and pretty. Well, he paused in his thoughts. She wasn’t really his cousin, just his step cousin whose ma married Pa’s brother. They weren’t related.

He had planned for them to take some time out just to stretch their intellectual muscles and discuss the classics without interruptions from his brothers or his father. Just two college graduates analyzing and critiquing Poe and Irving, Emerson and Thoreau, Stevenson and Swift.

Then they came to Hawthorne, he tapped his chin with the edge of her note.

Well, it was a real knockdown drag-out fight. Adam hated to admit it but it was all his fault: he had started it all by telling her that her ideas were idiotic and totally lacking in depth. He also suggested that she was no better than Hester Prynne, her being a loose woman and a tease. She countered by telling him that he was exactly like the Reverend, all high and mighty and pious to the outside world but inside he was just as promiscuous and as lacking in virtue as he thought she and Hester were! Josey then called him an imbecile and proceeded to question the intellectual capacity of his relatives from his father all the way back to the Magna Carta. And he, not to be outdone, compared her to Katherine the Shrew and crazy Lady MacBeth and delivered the coup de grace by telling her that she should rejoin her coven in New England. She angrily said she would do it today so he wouldn’t have to listen to her stupid opinions any longer. He then told her not to forget her broom, which in hindsight he did regret. In response, she dumped a container of lemonade over his head and caught him off guard with a uppercut to his jaw that sent him reeling. While he was recovering, she grabbed her empty blue valise, jumped on her horse and left him to haul everything back to the house by himself.

His ride back to the ranch was far from pleasant. While initially he had transported the picnic provisions, Josey with the aid of her big blue bag had transported the books. Without her bag, Adam had to bundle the books in the tablecloth and sling them over Sport’s saddle horn. The temperamental horse made it very clear on the way back that, while he did not mind carrying Adam and his paraphernalia, he was not too happy porting the heavy and irregularly shaped bundle that kept banging into his shoulder area. Consequently, Sport slowed his pace allowing a passing swarm of honeybees to get a whiff of sweet lemonade and zoom at its source periodically. One particularly persistent varmint honed in on Adam’s ear and buzzed him all the way back home.

By the time he arrived, he had changed his way of thinking about whose fault the argument was. It was all hers! He vaguely remembered mumbling something to Hoss about “being dragged through cactus naked” and asked about the petite redhead. He took everything into the house while Hoss took care of Sport. He also remembered that he thought about immediately confronting her again but decided to forestall Round Two until they had witnesses – like at dinner – and when he was in better command of the situation. Right then, he was sticky, his chin was tender from where she clipped him with her fist and his hearing in his one ear was compromised thanks to his insect friend. All he wanted was to take a long hot bath, change into clean clothes, grab a nap and then, sometime after dinner, give a serious talking to to his cousin.

And now this!

“PA!” Adam called loudly coming down the hallway. “You little idiot,” he mumbled to himself. “PA!” he yelled again starting down the staircase.

“We do not yell in this house, young man!” Ben yelled even though he just said you weren’t supposed to.

“Josey’s gone and left this note!” Adam handed it to his father. Joe and Hoss stopped eating to look up at their older brother.

“To Whom It May Concern, ha,” Ben was more than a little miffed by the salutation. “I cannot continue living at the Ponderosa where apparently I am not wanted nor respected as an adult. Don’t bother to look for me. I’m heading back to Boston. I’ll send someone to pick up the rest of my things so you won’t have to bother with me any more and I can be out of all of your lives forever. Josephine Marie Cartwright, graduate of Mt. Holyoke Seminary,” he said angrily and crumpled the page in his hand. “Graduate of …of all the childish, immature…” he fumed trying to control his temper.

Joe and Hoss looked at each other and groaned, knowing full well what was coming next. There goes the rest of supper.

“Hoss, go out…” Ben was ready to start barking out orders like he was back on the main deck of a sailing vessel.

“I’ll check to see if she took her horse, Pa,” his middle son read his father’s mind and was already on his feet. “I’ll search around the barn to see if she’s hiding somewhere in there, too.” He grabbed two hot biscuits that Hop Sing had just brought in from the kitchen.

“I’ll check the house, Pa,” his youngest discarded his napkin, picked up two biscuits himself and moved toward the staircase. “I’ll start with her room.”

“And I’ll start toward town,” his oldest picked up his hat and his gunbelt and headed for the door. “And if I’m lucky, maybe I’ll find a mountain lion or wolf that I can tangle with as a warm-up to taking her on.”

Both of his brothers stopped in their tracks and laughed at the look on Adam’s face. His father was not amused.

“And, boys,” Ben added before they all scattered. “When you find her, just bring her back here to me in one piece. I’ll deal with her myself.”

“That might be a hard thing for me to do, Pa,” Adam jammed his hat on his head and fastened his gunbelt. “But I’ll try,” he took a deep breath and left.

Ben sighed looking at the half-eaten food and sat back in his chair. He uncrumbled the note and read it again, muttering to himself. He then noticed a postscript: “For your information, I left my broom by the front door.”

“Hop Sing! What do you know about Josey having a broom?” he yelled despite his own rules disappearing into the kitchen.”

* * * *

Adam adjusted his hat so that the sun did not blind him as it slowly sank into the west. He sighed and patted Sport on the neck. Where the devil was she? Didn’t she know how worried he was about her? And that he really couldn’t forgive himself if something happened to her? Why would she run away anyway? They had had their fights before; some were real donnybrooks like her flaunting herself in front of Henry Walker at the general store. And there was the one when she flirted with the tall dark handsome stranger at the Bucket of Blood when she was supposed to be bringing Sheriff Coffee and him dinner at the jail. She didn’t leave then after those disagreements. Why now would she choose to go? Logically he should be happy. After all, she’s a spoiled little brat that aggravates him all the time. Yet why was he not happy?

He suddenly sat straight up in his saddle. Because you’d miss her, you Yankee granitehead, he scolded himself. It just wouldn’t be the same without her being here… to aggravate you…to infuriate you… to tease you…

Sport snorted impatiently. “Okay, boy,” Adam patted his neck again. “Let’s go find Josey.”

* * * *

“Damn, “Josey sat down on a rock to take one almost as big out of her boot. She took the opportunity to massage her toes and again began to think about her earlier altercation with Adam. Witch? How dare he call her a witch? Well, she had more than a few unflattering names that she would like to call Mr. Adam Stoddard Cartwright, that’s for sure. Exasperating blow-hard came to mind. And smart-aleck know-it-all! She was entitled to her own opinions even if they didn’t coincide with his. No one but him could possibly think that he had all the right answers all the time. And then to accuse her of being – of all things –some kind of a wanton tart toying with men’s affections.

Pompous, arrogant, self-righteous Puritan, Josey kicked at the pebble that she had just liberated from her boot. He’s no better than the reverend, yelling at me about Tom Bentley and the church bazaar and John Jr. giving me a ride in front of him on Dusty when Hoss was late picking me up at the Herberts. You’d almost think he was jealous or something! This was all his fault! She gazed at the setting sun and the way it lit up the beauty of the Ponderosa and felt a sob catch in her throat. Was she doing the right thing in leaving this way? Or was she running away from more than her impossible older cousin? He could be charming and funny and witty and he was so very handsome and smart. Any girl would be lucky to have him… She suddenly snapped out of it. What was she thinking? This was all his fault! And sitting here rehashing things wasn’t getting her any closer to town and it would be really dark soon. She shook her head, picked up her blue bag and started walking again.

* * * *

The first five miles of the road to town sure seemed a lot longer when you had to search around every boulder, tree or bush. Adam looked up at the moon. Maybe its light would help in his search. For the last half-hour he hadn’t been able to see a whole lot. His thoughts that had previously focused on the ‘real’ reason behind Josey’s flight now ran to its lack of logical planning and execution. Why would she leave so late in the day? She couldn’t get a stage until noon the next day. Where was she going to stay overnight in Virginia City, any way? Why didn’t she take a horse? How far did the little idiot think she was going to get on foot anyway? I guess this far, he decided rounding a bend and catching sight of a small figure dragging a big blue satchel.

She was such a beautiful sight even though he had vowed to kill her less than half an hour before. Her long auburn hair shimmered in the moonlight with a fire all its own. He noted in amusement that she had changed into her black Adam Cartwright get-up that hugged every one of her generous curves. He smiled, closed his eyes and shook his head. His pain in the ass cousin had become quite a beautiful woman when he wasn’t looking. Or was he looking? Was he even allowed to look at her that way? She wasn’t really his relative, after all. Well, whether he was or wasn’t, he had to get her back to the house preferably in one piece as his father instructed. Slowing Sport to a trot, he contemplated the best way to handle the situation. He decided the straightforward approach was his only choice. With any luck, he would have the element of surprise on his side.

Miss Cartwright was lost in her own thoughts so she did not turn around until Adam was on top of her, reaching down and hauling her and her satchel up and over his lap bottom end up. He took a second to wrench the bag out of her hand and hook it over the horn of the saddle. Then he dug his heels into the tall horse’s sides and they were off again.

“Let me go!” she kicked and screamed as Adam steered Sport masterfully back toward home at top speed.

“Stay still, Josephine!” he brought his hand down hard on her backside on the pretense of holding her on to the speeding horse. “You’ve got an appointment with Pa and I intend to get you back there as quickly as I can.”

“Bastard!” she seethed through clenched teeth. “Son of a bitc….Yeow!” He brought his hand down hard again.

“Listen, Josey,” Adam was steamed. “Just shut up and think about what’s in store for you when we get back. If I were you, I wouldn’t want a head start on what Pa’s got planned for you. So just enjoy the ride.”

“I hate you, Adam Cartwright!” she hissed pounding her fists into his left thigh. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,” she repeated continuing to punish his leg.

“That’s okay,” Adam decided to ignore his cousin’s tantrum, guiding Sport around a chuckhole. “I hate you right now myself for trying to drown me with lemonade – and making me miss supper -- and not being able to read my new book -- and having to come out here in the dark and cold to retrieve you, “ he began to tick off a list of her offenses against him. “However, no matter how much I hate you right now, I still love you and really don’t know what I would do without you at the Ponderosa,” he placed his hand gently on the small of her back to steady her during one of the turns. She stopped struggling and started to listen.

“And I also know, you little witch,” he continued, “I’m going to love to see how you’re going to get out of this mess with Pa. Quite frankly, Josey, you are better than Joe at talking Pa out of things. Lord, I’m sure by the time you’re finished explaining your little note and leaving and all, this will be all my fault and I’ll be the one in Pa’s woodshed.”

“That’s right!” she turned to try to look at him, suddenly remembering why she was in her current predicament. “This is all your fault, Adam Cartwright! You’re the one that started this!”

Told you, Adam smirked looking up to God and settled down to listen to her rant and rave about him and how it was “all his fault” for the remaining four miles home.

* * * *

Of course, Adam was right. By the time the cousins did reach the Ponderosa about 9:30, he was ready to concede that Josey’s behavior was indeed “all his fault.” He also knew deep down in the pit of his stomach that he would be standing on the same side of the desk as his petite redheaded cousin, taking his lumps along with her after Josey’s explanation of how this was “all his fault.” The phrase “all his fault” kept echoing through his head. Maybe Pa will still be so mad he’ll just tan her hide first thing. He thought hopefully as they rode in the front yard. His heart sank when he saw Joe and Hoss running toward them.

“Here,” he lifted Josey down into Hoss’s waiting arms and then handed the bag to Joe. “Take her straight to Pa. I’ve got to take care of Sport,” Adam tried to use one of the brothers’ tried and true stalling tactics for facing their father.

“Pa told me I’ve got to take care of Sport or else,” Joe grinned thoroughly enjoying that his oldest brother was in trouble. He took Sport’s reins from Adam and handed him Josey’s satchel.

“Else what?” Adam asked looking his baby brother straight in the eye.

“You know,” Joe rolled his eyes and disappeared with Sport.

“And Pa told me that he would have my hide too if I didn’t bring both of you scalawags to see him as soon as you got back,” Hoss flipped his cousin over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and grabbed Adam by his left shoulder. Both tried to fight the big man but it was to no avail.

* * * *

Ben stared into the fireplace, Josey’s note clutched in his hand. He knew that Adam was the one who had to be responsible for Josey’s leaving but what he couldn’t figure out was whether it was a result of him pushing her away because he realized the truth about the two of them. Also, was Josey running away because she too recognized what was happening and didn’t want Adam to feel trapped? He sat down on the hearth. He sighed. He wasn’t getting any younger and the prospect of him hearing the pitter-patter of little feet seemed to be fading the longer his boys remained unattached. And, after all, he was sure that the reason the two of them were constantly at odds was because of the chemistry between them. Well, he would do what he could to resolve this situation even if it meant admitting that it was all his …

“They’re here, Pa,” Hoss announced dragging Josey and Adam into the house and over to where Ben sat on the hearth.

She gulped recognizing her note in her uncle’s hand and remembering what she had written. I’m dead, Lord, she thought as Hoss set her on her feet. Save me a seat at the table up there please. I’ll be with you shortly.

Hoss turned to leave but his father motioned for him to sit down in the blue velvet chair to the left of him.

Maybe Pa wants a witness to prove he had just cause to commit mayhem on us. Adam’s brain was working overtime in spite of being starved and tired.

Ben glared at both of them for a solid minute before he cleared his throat and spoke. “Sit right here while you still can, Miss Graduate of Mt. Holyoke,” he indicated a spot next to him. “So, we don’t want you here and we don’t treat you as an adult, huh?” he succinctly summed up the contents of the message.

She nodded but did not say anything. On second thought, Lord, I probably won’t be needing that seat when Uncle Ben gets through with me.

“Well, young lady, as far as I know, running away is not the way that a mature adult faces her problems. An adult talks to the person she is having the problem with and tries to work it out,” her uncle was attempting to keep his temper in check. “What you did was childish and immature and you deserve a good talking to!” He paused to take a deep breath.

Adam looked at his cousin fully expecting some kind of argument about what she thought she deserved at this point. To his amazement, she was silent. What’s she up to? He thought, fidgeting like he hadn’t done since he was five. When was she going to get to her accusation that it was “all his fault?”

“Furthermore,” Ben continued tossing the note in the fire behind him, “How can you make the statement that you’re not wanted here? Hoss, and Joe and I turned this ranch upside down trying to locate you. And what was Adam doing for the last three hours but looking for you to bring you back here? Doesn’t that demonstrate that you are loved and wanted here?” his voice was beginning to crescendo which was never a good sign. “Don’t you have anything to say for yourself, young lady?”

Sometime during the latter part of his lecture, Josey’s lower lip started to quiver in that sad little girl way that always melted her male relatives’ hearts.

Do you see this, Lord? Adam looked up at the ceiling. She’s about to sell me up the river. A lightning bolt would help about now. Either her or me, your choice entirely.

To Adam’s surprise, Josey shook her head slowly, her eyes looking down at the floor. No “it’s all his fault!” No nothing. One tear leaked from her left eye, however, and ran down her face.

Nice touch, Adam silently congratulated his cousin. That might have just saved your butt.

“All right, Josephine. I’ll get back to you in a bit,” Ben shifted his gaze to his oldest son. “Now you, Adam.” Adam jerked to attention now that it was his turn.

Joe slipped back in the house and into the red brown leather chair to watch the proceedings. It was a rare occurrence when he got to see old Adam squirm.

“While you were off searching for Josephine, I cooled down and took some time to reflect on her note. I kept coming back to the same conclusion that someone in this household is making her uncomfortable.”

“All his fault”, the theme echoed in his head again.

“I questioned Joseph, Hoss and even Hop Sing…”

“Boy, did he ever,” Joe whistled low which earned him a stern look from his father for interrupting.

“…Josey didn’t have a problem with any of them. Therefore, by process of elimination, I’ve got it down to two people… you and me,” he rose to look his eldest straight in the eye.

“All his fault,” Adam thought holding his breath.

“In my considered opinion, son, it’s…” Ben crossed his arms over his chest…

“All his fault.”

“…all our fault.”

All our fault? Adam couldn’t believe his ears. Pa was taking some of the blame for Josey’s running away? Thank you, Lord. This is better that a lightning bolt. You must have been really working on Pa.

“…Sometimes it’s hard for us both not to think of her as six years old with all the ruffles and freckles and pigtails.” Adam finally focused on his father again. “But she is grown up and, as she reminded us, a college graduate. We’ve both got to do better at remembering that. We’ve got to respect her opinions and her feelings.”

Josephine was blindsided by Ben’s observations. What was he talking about? This isn’t supposed to happen. This is, after all, all Adam’s fault, not his and Uncle Ben’s. “But, Uncle,” she finally found her voice. “It’s not your fault. It’s….” The three little words almost escaped from her mouth.

Adam, though, anticipated the three little words, dropped the big blue satchel in Joe’s nearby lap, quickly crossed in front of his father, pulled Josey into his arms and muffled those three little words by hugging her tightly to his chest. “You say it’s all my fault and you’ll live to regret it,” he hissed in her ear but said loudly,” I’m so sorry, Josey. I promise to make it all up to you.”

She looked up at him with fire in her eyes. A lightning bolt would help about now, Lord. Him, not me, of course.

Adam somehow managed to control his expression as he again whispered so only she could hear, “I’ll tan your bare ass good if you say another word.” Josey clamped her mouth shut at this threat, knowing that he would indeed do what he said.

Adam then said in his normal tone, “Of course, my dear, I don’t know if Pa and I can promise to always treat you like an adult especially when you behave like a five year old,” he winked at his father.

One little lightning bolt? Please? She closed her eyes.

“That’s true, young lady,” Ben nodded, “You really deserve something for disrupting dinner and making us worry.”

“Let me take care of it, Pa,” Adam volunteered squeezing Josey’s arm tightly behind her back as he spun her around to face their other family members. “You and Hoss and Joe can go on up to bed.”

Ben looked from Adam to Josey. “And what do you plan to do to her, Adam?”

Burning at the stake? Boiling in oil? The Rack? Iron Maiden? He could dream, couldn’t he? “Well, Pa, I guess I’ll make her sit down and talk to me and, of course, eat whatever I cook for her,” Adam smirked.

“That might constitute cruel and unusual punishment, big brother,” Joe yawned and stretched. “Come on, Hoss,” he tossed Josey’s bag back in the chair he had just vacated. “Let’s go to bed! Good night, Josey,” he paused to kiss her cheek. “Glad you’re back.”

“Good night, Cous,” Hoss kissed her also. “Good night, Pa, Adam,” he called as they climbed the staircase and disappeared around the corner.

After he heard their bedroom doors slammed, Ben turned to address Josey and Adam again.

“It’s probably a good idea for you two to talk out whatever is going on between you,” he took Josey by the hand, “but you deserve more than being forced to eating Adam’s cooking, young lady,” he sat down on the hearth, pulled her over his knee and gave her three resounding swats on her bottom.

She was so stunned that she couldn’t speak. Normally this kind of behavior should have earned her a “you won’t be able to sit down for a week” talking to. This was almost nothing. Thank you, God. You must be female.

“Now,” he set her on her feet and wagged a finger under her nose, "No more childish behavior! If you’ve got a problem with one of us, speak up!” he gently kissed her cheek. “And don’t stay up too long, you two!” He warned as he climbed the stairs. “Church tomorrow. Oh, by the way, Doctor Brown especially wants to see you, Josey, and Sara Jane Baker was asking about you, Adam.”

Both stiffened as Ben unknowingly by his words rekindled today’s earlier discussion that started this whole thing.

“We’ll be upstairs in a little bit, Pa,” Adam put his arms around her from behind and kissed her on the cheek also. “You know, Josey,” he said steering her toward the kitchen, “If he hadn’t got that out of his system, he would have exploded.” He then sent a sharp slap of his own against Josey’s rear end. She looked at him in annoyance. “I guess I had to get that out of my system, too,” Adam winked at her.

Josey smiled sweetly up at him and stomped on his right boot with all her might. “So did I, you Puritanical hypocrite!” she laughed watching him grabbing his injured foot and took off running toward the stairs, grabbing her valise as she went.

Her eldest cousin cursed, recovered and took off after her, plowing right through the living room furniture and caught her around the waist on the stair landing. He grabbed her blue bag with his right hand and dropped it on the landing and then turned her around in his arms to face him. He was so angry he could not speak. He just glared at her, murder in his eyes.

She, however, had no problem finding her voice. “It’s all your fault!” she yelled at the top of her lungs before Adam could silence her by placing his hand over her mouth.

“Oh, no, you don’t,” he growled, hauling her back down the stairs and out the front door.

* * * *

They were not really cousins after all and the attraction between the two of them was undeniable. Ben unbuttoned his shirt and hung it on the hook inside his closet. He shook his head. How his own son could be so blind that he couldn’t see it was beyond him. He slipped off his boots, put them by the door and stepped out of his trousers. Lord, a lightning bolt would help about now. Both him and her if you could please. He thought he heard Adam curse and then really heard a footrace halfway up the stairs as he was pulling his nightshirt over his head. He held his breath. Maybe Adam finally saw the light and kissed her. Silence. That must be it, he heaved a sigh of relief. However, as he was getting into bed, the silence was broken by his niece yelling, “It’s all your fault!” and the front door slamming. Now what? Ben quickly pulled on his dressing gown over his nightshirt and slid his feet into his slippers.

* * * *

Hoss already in his nightshirt was half-asleep, dreaming of his favorite actress Lotta Crabtree. Her lovely long dark brunette hair hung loose to her shoulders and her lips were ruby red. Her petite frame was encased in a bright red gown and she held a rose of the same color in her dainty hand. She smelled just the way he remembered her, a mixture of roses and lavender. Oh, Hoss, she said huskily. You are the only man for me, she was just leaning forward as was he for what he hoped was a long satisfying kiss when Josey yelled, “It’s all your fault!” and the front door slammed.

“Dadburnit!” Hoss cursed out loud as the dream evaporated and he hauled himself out of bed. “What’s wrong with this family?”

* * * *

Joe who had stripped down to his all-together was lying in his bed reading a collection of short stories by Poe. ‘…It grew quicker and quicker, and louder and louder, every instant. The old man's terror must have been extreme! It grew louder, I say, louder every moment! -- do you mark me well?’ he rolled until he was on the very edge of the bed so that the lamp from his bedside table better illuminated the page.

‘I have told you that I am nervous: so I am. And now at the dead hour of the night, amid the dreadful silence of that old house, so strange a noise as this excited me to uncontrollable terror. Yet, for some minutes longer I refrained and stood still. But the beating grew louder, louder! I thought the heart must burst,’ Joe moved to his back barely (in more ways than one) balancing half on and half off the mattress.

‘And now a new anxiety seized me -- the sound would be heard by a neighbour! The old man's hour had come! With a loud yell, I threw open the lantern and leaped into the room. He shrieked once –‘

“It’s all your fault!” Josey’s yell startled Joe so he shrieked himself, threw the book into the air and hit the floor hard on his bare backside. Then the front door slammed.

“Damn it!” he scrambled into his jeans, not bothering to put on his shoes, and ran out into the hall where he joined his middle brother and their father in their own footrace down the steps. Joe picked up Josey’s big blue valise that was stranded helplessly on the landing as he ran by so that his father and Hoss would not have to hurdle it. The three arrived outside just in time to see Adam picked up and toss a struggling and kicking Josey into the water trough and Josey pulling a very angry and off balanced Adam in after her.

“Adam…Adam...” Ben ran forward to intervene but was stopped dead in his tracks when his oldest son who was lying in a most compromising position on top of the petite redhead pulled her face to his and kissed her deeply. To no one’s particular amazement, Josey stopped struggling and returned the very wet kiss.

Thanks, Ben looked up to heaven.

“It’s about time,” Joe observed, sinking down in the rocking chair with Josey’s bag on his lap.

“Amen,” Hoss added yawning. “Maybe I can get some sleep now.” He turned, picked up the big blue satchel from his baby brother’s lap and he and it disappeared inside.

“Enough!” Ben deciding that the two’s exhibition had gone on for too long bellowed and pulled Adam out of the trough by the back of his collar. “Joseph, help Josephine, please!”

“Sure, Pa,” Joe jumped to his feet and hauled his wet cousin out of the water depositing her on her feet beside his soggy big brother. He moved beside his father and assumed an identical stance, his arms crossed over his bare chest, glaring at Adam and Josey.

Ben looked over at his youngest trying to send him a message to leave. It didn’t work. “You’re excused, Joseph,” he finally looked at him pointedly.

“Yes, sir,” Joe smiled sheepishly and left.

“So did you two have a nice little talk?” Ben demanded looking from one to another.

“Oh, you might say that,” Adam looked at Josey and grinned.

“And you resolved everything?” Ben began to circle them like a buzzard.

“I think so, Unc,” Josey beamed over her shoulder at Ben and then smiled up at her older cousin.

“So I’m not going to have to put up with any more nonsense from either of you tonight including unscheduled Saturday night baths in the horse trough?”

“No, sir,” they both said in unison still smiling at each other.

Ben stopped his circles to stare at them. Maybe having them fight with each other wasn’t so bad. “Well, then is there anything you’d like to tell me about this little scene that we all just witnessed?”

“No, sir.” Again they responded together.

“Good!” he moved behind them. “Now get to bed both of you!” he sent a stinging slap against each of their hindquarters propelling them toward the house. Both Josey and Adam looked back at him in shock. “And I don’t want to hear another peep out of either one of you until tomorrow morning or, no matter how old you are, I’ll take my belt to you both! Is that clear?” he added when Adam opened his mouth to no doubt protest his father’s assault and threat on his person.

Adam looked into Ben’s eyes and realized he meant what he said. “Yes sir, Pa,” Adam took Josey’s hand and started to slowly amble to the house.

“I said, get!” Ben roared and punctuated his command by pointing in the direction of the house. Both of them took off at top speed toward the front door.

Looks like there’s still a possibility of grandkids! He smiled looking after the two of them.

* * * *

“I guess he had to get that out of his system, too, Adam,” she giggled as they crossed the threshold.

“Shhhhhh,” Adam warned picking up Josey’s valise that Hoss had obviously left on the living room table and pulling her after him up the stairs. When they reached Josey’s room, Adam opened the door, threw the big blue bag inside and took Josey into his arms. “You know, it really is all my fault,” he said looking into her brown eyes.

“You don’t have to convince me of that, you Puritanical hypocrite,” she teased trying not to giggle as he kissed her quickly and pushed her into her room.

“I love you, you little witch. Good night,” Adam whispered closing the door and sprinting quickly to his own door before his father….

“Good night, son,” Ben who had observed the kiss and declaration of love was leaning against his own door. “Sleep well. We’ve got a few things to talk about tomorrow. And Adam?” he added putting his hand on the doorknob.

“Yes, sir?” his oldest son raised his eyebrows.

“I’d particularly like to know about a certain broom.”

“Good night, Pa,” Adam grinned and closed his bedroom door.

Definitely grandkids. Ben smiled again.

Many thanks to David Dortort for his creation of Bonanza in general and the Cartwrights, Hop Sing and the Ponderosa in particular. The author does not claim ownership of any of the aforementioned characters. This story is not intended to infringe on any known copyrights. The author gratefully acknowledges the work of Nathaniel Hawthorne, Edgar Alan Poe and Mr. Dortort (“A Rose for Lotta,” Season 1). Josephine Marie Cartwright © December, 2004 is a copyrighted character belonging to the author. ALL INTERNATIONAL RIGHTS ARE RESERVED.

RETURN TO LIBRARY