" A BIG DISAPPOINTMENT "
part two
By: Lynne G.
For the next month, Little Joe worked extremely hard from just before sunup until past dark. He ate just enough food to keep working. He never smiled anymore and he only talked when he needed to answer questions from his family.
" Hey little brother, how 'bout the two of us goin' to do some fishing, and get lots of fish for dinner ?" Hoss asked, as he could almost taste the fish now.
" No thanks Hoss. You go and get fish fer dinner. I really dunt feel like fishin' anymore," Little Joe softly told Hoss.
Hoss stood there and looked at his little brother not believing what he had just said. " Ah, come on Punkin, ya gotta have some fun instead of workin' all the time. Ya love to fish, and you are the best fisherman in the family ya know," Hoss replied.
" I dunt want no fun. Bye Hoss," the youngster said as he went to get an axe so he could start to chop a very large pile of logs.
Hoss didn't know what to think. He felt like dragging the boy with him anyway, but he changed his mind and left to go fishing.
Little Joe chopped wood all afternoon. It was hot and tiring work, but he continued on. The only time he stopped was to get a drink of water.
Hoss had caught enough fish for dinner that night which everyone enjoyed except for Little Joe. He just picked at his dinner.
" Joseph, please eat your dinner," Ben suggested. " I ain't hungry. May I be excused so I can get the barn chores done please?" the boy asked.
Ben didn't want to argue with his son, so he gave his permission to be excused.
Little Joe's family was at a loss at what was going on with the youngest member of the family. Ben had even talked with Dr. Paul Martin about Little Joe, and Paul had even given the boy an exam, but he found nothing wrong except for being over tired and not eating enough food.
One day Little Joe decided to ride fence and repair any damage he found. He just wanted to be by himself, and prove to his family that he wasn't a disappointment to them.
After church one Sunday, everyone was going to a large picnic. Little Joe told Ben that he didn't want to go, and that he was going home.
" Joseph, I want you to please come along with us to the picnic. You need a day off. Your exhausted," Ben said.
" I dunt wanna go. I've got chores ta do. See ya later," the boy replied as he leaped on Cochise and started to ride off. " JOSEPH, GET BACK HERE NOW !" Ben shouted, but Little Joe continued on his way.
" Ya want me to go after him Pa?" Hoss asked. " No, let him be," Ben sadly answered.
As soon as Little Joe arrived home, he went to change his clothes. Then he went downstairs, only to be met by a surprised Hop Sing, who had thought that the boy would be at the picnic.
" What you do home? You go to picnic !" Hop Sing declared. " I dun't wanna go. I got lots of wood to chop," the boy replied as he looked at the floor.
" Already have enough wood. No need to chop more for many many days. You look very tired, and you need to eat. You much too skinny now. Hop Sing make lunch for Little Joe," Hop Sing suggested.
" No thanks Hop Sing, I ain't hungry," Little Joe replied. " Why you look so sad all the time?" Hop Sing asked. " I dunt wanna talk 'bout it," the youngster said as he walked out the door. Hop Sing just shook his head.
Later that afternoon as the Cartwrights rode into the yard, they were surprised to see Little Joe chopping wood again. The boy didn't look up as he heard his family arrive home.
" Joseph, why are you chopping wood again? We have enough wood already chopped to last for months, thanks to you son," Ben told the boy.
" I just felt like chopping wood is all. Are ya upset at that?" the boy asked as he looked at Ben. " What do you think?" Ben replied.
" I thought so !" the youngster mumbled. Ben heard that comment, but he decided not to say anything. Little Joe knew that Ben was most likely upset with him again, so he decided that he would leave that next morning for the upper most part of the Ponderosa to check the fences there.
Very early the next morning after Little Joe had finished the barn chores, he told Hop Sing that he needed to finish riding one more area of fence line.
" When you come back home?" Hop Sing asked. " When I get done," the youngster said. " Let Hop Sing get food ready for you to take," Hop Sing suggested. " No Hop Sing. Ain't got time. See ya in a couple of days," Little Joe said as he left.
" Little Joe, you come back here ! You need food !" Hop Sing shouted. The boy never looked back. An angry Hop Sing stomped back to the kitchen mumbling loudy in Chinese.
Later that day when the Cartwrights returned home they were met by an angry Hop Sing. " What's wrong Hop Sing?" Ben asked.
" Little Joe leave, not take any food with him. Boy exhausted. Hop Sing very worried about boy," Hop Sing told the family.
" Did he say where he was going?" Ben asked as he was nervous, thinking maybe his son had run away. Both Adam and Hoss had thought the same thing as they too looked towards Hop Sing.
" All boy say was he go finish up riding fence," Hop Sing said. " What fence line now? He's already checked them all, I thought?" Hoss questioned. " I don't know. I just don't know !" Ben angrily stated. Adam just shook his head, as he thought, " Oh little brother, what are you trying to do to yourself ?"
As Little Joe was riding along the fence lines in the upper most reaches of the ranch, he found a lot of damage to the fences. The fences in that area always seemed to have the most damage, due to the winter storms.
It was very cool in the upper pastures of the Ponderosa. Little Joe wished that he had his warmer clothes with him, but he didn't think of that. He only had his light weight green jacket with him, and the supplies he needed to repair the damaged fences.
As he rode along the fence line it began to pour down rain. " Oh great, just what I dunt need Cooch, rain !" he told his beloved pinto. Back at the lower areas of the ranch, it was cool, but sunny.
Little Joe had been gone now for three days, and Ben was very upset that Little Joe still hadn't come home.
Ben didn't want his twelve year old son away from home by himself as he was too young and too young to carry a gun for protection. The upper areas of the ranch could be very dangerous for a boy, or anyone without a gun for protection.
Hoss wanted to go and look for his little brother, and Ben almost said to go, but he changed his mind.
Little Joe was keeping very busy with so many repairs that needed to be done. It was taking him much longer than he thought, and now he wished that he would have brought some food with him as he was starving. He hadn't eaten anything in four days.
He had set a trap to catch a rabbit, but none seemed to be in the area. The rain continued on which made the work go slower. He did manage to make a shelter for Cochise. At least his horse would have some protection from the rain, and there was plenty of grass for the pinto to eat.
" Pa, do ya realize that Little Joe hasn't been with his friends all summer long? He hasn't gone fishing or swimming either. All he does is work, work, work, and now he's been gone for four days," Adam said.
Yes, I have thought about that, and when that boy gets home, he will be on restriction for the rest of his life !" Ben replied angrily.
For the past five months, Little Joe hadn't been sleeping much either. Everytime he tried to sleep, his mind kept on remembering all the hurtful words that were shouted at him that one afternoon. He tried to block them out of his mind, but he couldn't.
" You are a big disappointment to the family, and I am ashamed of the way you have been acting lately. What has gotten into you anyway? I don't know what to do with you anymore !" Ben yelled.
Five days later, a totally exhausted and soaking wet Little Joe rode into the yard. He was slumped down on Cochise's neck, and when he realized that his horse had stopped, he opened his eyes and slid own from the pinto, and he led the horse into the barn, where he took care of him.
As he slowly walked towards the house he decided to act as if he was full of energy. He took a deep breath, as he was shivering, from being so cold, wet and also very nervous as to what his family would say to him.
Even though his legs felt wobbly, he kept telling himself to act normal and not tired.
As he opened the front door and walked in, his family looked towards the door. Little Joe slowly took off his wet jacket, and hat and he hung them up.
Ben glared at his son and he began to shout. " Where have you been young man? You have been gone for five days !"
Little Joe couldn't believe how much trouble he was in. He thought that Ben would be glad that he was back safely at home, but he sure didn't seem pleased.
" Will you answer me Joseph !" Ben angrily declared. As the tears began to run down his face, Little Joe tried to answer Ben's question.
" Pa, I was checking and repairing all the fences in the upper pastures. There was a lot of damage, but I got it all fixed. I thought that you would be pleased," the boy said.
As Little Joe continued to explain, " I guess I'm still a big disappointment to you and the family. I'm sorry. I've tried so hard to be good and work hard, but I can see that it didn't mean anything to you. I'm sorry I'm such a big disappointment to this family !"
Ben, Adam and Hoss were shocked by what the boy was telling them. Had they been treating him like he was a big disappointment?
By now, Little Joe was crying hysterically as he slowly backed up towards the front door. Where he had found the sudden strength, he didn't know, but he just wanted to run from the house.
" Joseph, please son. Joseph, we didn't know..." was all Ben could say before the boy ran from the house and out into the pouring rain.
His family ran to the door shouting for him to come back, but all they saw was the boy running ot of the yard. " JOSEPH, JOSEPH, COME BACK !" Ben shouted.
" Pa, let me go after him ? He can't get too far on foot !" Hoss cried. " No, let's give him a few minutes and I'll after him," Ben sadly suggested.
Little Joe kept running and he fell several times in his hurry to get away. He finally made it to his mother's grave, where he collasped next to the grave.
" Oh Mama. I can't believe they are still so disappointed in me ! I've worked so hard to prove to them that I can work hard, but they didn't care ! They just didn't care Mama ! What am I gonna do ?" the boy cried as his heart was breaking.
" Boy's what have we done ? I now realize what has been bothering your little brother. He thinks we are totally disappointed in him. That must be why he has been working almost non-stop for months now. No wonder he's so exhausted, and hurting so badly," Ben softly said.
"Pa, why didn't he just tell us why he was doing what he was doing? We could have set him straight," Adam sadly said. He felt awful not knowing what his baby brother was feeling. Hoss was too upset to say anything. He loved his little brother so much.
Little Joe continued to lay on his mother's grave crying. By now the rain had stopped. Ben quietly rode towards Marie's grave and he got off Buck, and he walked over to his crying son. All he wanted to do was to hold the boy and make him feel better, and to get this whole mess cleared up.
Little Joe had no idea that his father stood right behind him, until he heard his name being called. The startled boy jumped up and slowly backed away from Ben.
" Little Joe, please son let's go home and talk. I'm not angry at you. Please sweetheart, lets go home," Ben pleaded.
Being so exhausted and not thinking straight, the boy turned around and ran off into the woods still crying. " Little Joe, please come back ! Little Joe !" Ben shouted as he knew there was no way he could keep up with his distraught son, so he slowly walked back to Buck and rode home.
Little Joe ran as fast as he could, but he kept falling down, as his tears were making his sight very blurry. He kept getting up and ran on, but he fell again, and he stayed down this time. He was just too tired to get up, so he laid there and cried.
As soon as Ben walked into the house, Adam and Hoss looked worriedly at him. " Where's Little Joe ?" Hoss asked. Ben took off his hat and coat and he hung them up as he looked at Little Joe's hat and jacket that hung there. He walked over to his chair and sat down with a big sigh.
" Pa, what's wrong ? Where's Little Joe ?" Adam asked this time. Ben sadly looked at his two sons with tears in his eyes, and he softly explained.
" He was at his Mama's grave and he was still crying too. When I softly called out to him, he got scared and he jumped up and looked at me. My God, you should have seen that heart broken look on his face. I don't think I will ever forget that haunted look he had."
" I begged him to come home and I told him that I wasn't angry with him, but he was so hurt, that he just ran off into the woods and there was no way I could have caught up to him. My baby is out there somewhere with a broken heart," Ben cried as tears ran down his face.
" Pa, we can take some lanterns with us and go look for him. That boy doesn't have the strength to go far," Hoss said. " We can find him Pa," Adam hopefully said.
" I don't know what to tell you. Even with lanterns, it's just too dark," Ben sadly replied.
After laying on the ground for a while, Little Joe struggled to stand up. He was so exhausted, and shivering, he didn't think about where he was going, so he just started to walk home.
His legs buckled a few times and he fell, but he continued on. Some of the time he crawled. He didn't want to give up, because that wasn't something that a Cartwright did, give up.
As he slowly staggered into the yard and to the proch, when the rain began to pour down again, and the wind started to blow hard.
Little Joe collasped on the porch, but he forced himself to grab onto the post where the warning bell hung. He managed to stand up on his very wobbly legs and he took a deep breath as he willed himself to the front door of the house, as his world was beginning to spin out of control.
As he walked into the house, he stood there swaying as he looked at his family and all he was able to say before he collasped into unconsciousness was, " I..I.."
" Joseph !" Ben shouted as he ran over to his son and he kneeled down next to the boy and he held the boy in his arms.
Adam, Hoss and Hop Sing sprung into action immediately. They got towels, hot water, and the boy's night shirt.
Ben stood up with his son's limp body in his arm and he carried the boy over to the sette and laid the boy down, while he sat down on the table in front of the fireplace and he began to undress his shivering son.
" Please baby wake up. Open your eyes. I love you so much sweetheart. Please son wake up. I'm so proud of you, at the way you have worked so hard," Ben told the boy.
The Cartwright gently bathed the boy they loved so much. They were shocked at how skinny he was, but he seemed to have more muscles on his arms that felt firm.
After Little Joe had been bathed and into his nightshirt, Hoss carried him up to his room. Hoss couldn't believe how little his brother seemed to weigh, and that scared him. Hoss gently laid the boy in his bed and he was covered with several blankets and quilts as he was still shivering badly.
The boy's face was very pale and very thin looking. " Pa, I sent Hank to get Paul," Adam told Ben as he returned to Little Joe's room. Ben nodded at him.
" Pa, I'm really scared for him. He's so skinny," Hoss quietly said. " I know, and I'm worried sick about him," Ben replied as he ran his fingers through the boy's soft curly brown hair, and he gave his son a kiss on his forehead.
Hop Sing entered the room with a bowl of warm broth. " Sit boy up. He badly need broth," Hop Sing said. Once they had Little Joe propped up with pillows, Hop Sing sat down on the bed while Ben gently opened Little Joe's mouth so Hop Sing could slowly spoon the broth into the boy's mouth.
As soon as the broth was in Little Joe's mouth, the boy naturally swallowed it. That brought smiles to everyone in the room. " We do this every two hours. Boy needs to get strong again. He much too skinny ! He much too exhausted ! Hop Sing lovingly said.
" Paul, thanks for coming out on such a nasty night like this," Ben told Dr.Paul Martin. Ben then went on to exlpain why Little Joe was in this condition. Paul was very concerned about his young patient.
Paul then went up stairs to have a look at Little Joe. " Thank goodness you were able to get some broth into him. You need to keep doing this for a few days. It will take a while, but he should be just fine," Paul told Hop Sing.
" Hop Sing make sure boy eat and get lots of rest. Hop Sing very worried about boy and father too. He blame self for making boy so upset. Both very stubborn. They need to talk to make things better," Hop Sing told Paul. " I totally agree with you Hop Sing," Paul said.
As soon as Paul come down the stairs, Ben asked, " Paul, how is Little Joe ? Will he be alright ?"
" Ben, Adam, Hoss, Little Joe will be just fine. He needs to eat and get a lot of rest. He is totally exhausted. I told Hop Sing to keep giving him broth every two to three hours until he can eat more solid food. Ben, you and Little Joe need to have a long talk. That boy needs to know that he isn't a disappointment, and that you are proud of him for all the hard work he has done for the last several months."
" He is very stubborn, and so are you. So just take the time to make him feel loved, which I know you will all do. He's a good boy Ben who just gets side tracked from time to time," Paul said. " Thanks Paul, don't worry, he'll be fine and I promise I will have a nice long talk with him when he wakes up," Ben replied.
" I'm just so glad that he decided to come back home. He must have forced himself to do that. He could have easily just laid there in the woods and died from exposure, but thank God he found that inner strength in his heart to make it back home," Paul explained.
" Thanks Paul. If my baby dies, I don't think I will ever forgive myself. I love him so much," Ben said as he was tearing up. " Ben, Little Joe isn't going to die for a very long time, God willing. Just give him time. I'll come back out tomorrow and have a look at him," Paul said.
Every two hours, Little Joe was spoon fed the much needed nourishing broth that he needed so badly. He slept in a very deep restful sleep which he also needed badly, and he was never left alone.
Little Joe slept for almost three full days before he began to fully wake up. Ben was sitting in a chair next to his son's room when the boy began to wake up. He was holding one of his son's hands and kissed it as the boy started to move his legs.
" Little Joe, come on son, open your eyes now. I know you can do it. Please sweetheart, open your eyes for your old Papa," Ben softly begged his son.
Little Joe slowly opened his eyes and he noticed Ben sitting there with a big smile on his face. " Hi sweetheart, how do you feel ?" Ben asked as he leaned down and kissed the boy's forehead.
Little Joe opened his mouth to say something, but all he could do was whisper, " Papa." " Yes baby, Papa's here," Ben said as tears ran down his face. Ben saw that Little Joe also had tears running down his face as well.
Both father and son looked at each other and their eyes spoke for them. They spoke of love and forgiveness, and proud feelings.
Just by looking at Ben's brown eyes, was all the medicine Little Joe needed.
Little Joe was fed broth for a couple of more days. He felt so weak and tired, but most of all, he felt so loved by his family. He did spend most of the time sleeping, which was something that his body still needed badly.
His family told him how much they appreciated all his hard work, and that they were all very proud of him. He didn't feel like a big disappointment anymore. He felt almost like an equal member of the family as to what he could do.
It took Little Joe several weeks to get back all his strength
back and he was happy to feel like his normal self again. He tired his best to do everything that was asked of him, but there were times when he was back into mischief and giggling again for which his family was very thankful for. Their Little Joe was back to normal again.
THE END.