" I'm Sorry ! I..I
Didn't Mean To !"
By: Lynne G.
It was spring break for Little Joe Cartwright, but this wasn't how the youngest Cartwright had planned to spend two weeks off school. He was on restriction for disobeying his father, Ben Cartwright.
Little Joe had made plans with his friends to do fishing and just plain having fun for two weeks, but two weeks before spring break the youngster hadn't been doing all of his chores, had been coming home late from school everyday, and arguing with his older brothers, Adam and Hoss.
As much as Ben hated to spoil his youngest son's vacation, he had no choice but to put the boy on restriction. Naturally, Little Joe was now very angry with Ben as well, because Ben had given him a very long list of chores that would keep the boy busy for the entire two weeks.
While taking a much needed break from his chores, Little Joe had found a rope in the barn, and he decided to attach it to the pulley in the hayloft just outside the window of the loft.
Little Joe thought it was really fun to grab hold of the rope and swing out the window and swing in the air, before he got back on the ground. He did this everyday several times a day while his family was away for the day, since he knew that Ben wouldn't allow him to do that as it could be very dangerous.
Little Joe was a risk taker and he never thought about the danger that lurked with his ideas, no he just wanted fun and swinging out of the loft was thrilling.
When he was caught doing his ' flight ', he was punished and told never to do that again.
" Joseph, if I ever catch you doing that again, you will be in big trouble. Your brothers have caught you swinging out of the loft several times and everytime you have been punished and told NOT to do that AGAIN, but you NEVER learn !" Ben angrily told his son again.
While
looking at the floor, Little Joe spoke up in his defense, "
Ben was shocked at what Little Joe had just said to him. The boy didn't think of what he was saying before he actually said it.
" So you think your chores are STUPID do you, well for one thing, they are NOT stupid ! Secondly, if you would learn to do what you are told, you wouldn't be on restriction in the first place, and thirdly, what you refer to as fun is very dangerous, and you could end up falling and get badly hurt or even killed !"
Ben continued, " Sometimes I wonder if you have a brain in that head of yours. Joseph, I just couldn't bare it if anything happened to you, and I wouldn't want to live without you in my life. Do you understand what I am trying to explain to you son ?" Ben finished hoping that his son would take his warning seriously.
Little Joe listened very carefully to what Ben had told him, and he knew what his father was trying to get across to him, but he loved to swing out of the loft window.
" I know Pa, but it's really fun and I'm careful ya know," the boy replied. Again, Ben was shocked and angry with his son's response, but then knowing Little Joe as well as he did, it didn't really surprise him.
" JOSEPH, when I say I don't you to swing out of the window, I MEAN IT ! DON'T DO IT AGAIN !" Ben shouted to his son. He was upset and very angry that the boy would even be thinking of continuing his dangerous swinging game.
One day while Little Joe was ready to swing out of the loft window, Ben quietly rode into the yard when a swing Little Joe flew over head. The motion of the swinging boy spooked Buck, Ben's horse.
Buck reared up which caught Ben by surprise and he fell off Buck before he had time to react. Ben landed hard on the ground and to make matters worse, Buck fell over backwards and he landed on Ben's left leg which was at an odd angle when he fell, crushing Ben's left leg.
Buck got up and limped into the barn while Ben laid on the ground unconscious.
Little Joe stood there in shock at what he had caused. He shook his head again and ran over to his beloved father, threw himself on the ground next to Ben, crying and frantically screamed for Ben to wake up.
Hop Sing was busy cleaning the kitchen when he suddenly heard Little Joe screaming outside, so he quickly ran to see what the boy was doing now.
He couldn't believe his eyes when he saw his boss laying on the ground and Little Joe totally hysterical at Ben's side pleading with Ben to please wake up.
" Little Joe, what happened to father?" Hop Sing shouted as he ran over to the distraught boy. Hop Sing was shocked at the sight of Ben's bloodly leg.
Hop Sing moved Little Joe out of the way and he felt Ben's neck for a pulse, as Ben was very pale in color. Relieved at finding a pulse, Hop Sing knew he couldn't move Ben by himself, so he ran into the house to get some blankets to cover Ben and keep him as warm as possible.
Hop Sing kept asking Little Joe what happened, but the boy was in shock. As much as Hop Sing hated to do what he had to do next, he had to, and he slapped Little Joe across the face to try to get his attention.
Feeling the sudden slap to his face, Little Joe looked at Hop Sing with wide terrified eyes that had tears running out of them.
" M..My fault. Oh Hop Sing, it's all my fault ! I did this !" the very distraught boy cried, as he jumped up to his feet and he ran into the house and up to his room.
" LITTLE JOE, COME BACK !" Hop Sing shouted. Hop Sing knew that he needed to get help for Ben, but he couldn't leave his badly injured boss alone or a very distraught boy either. He wished someone would coming riding into the yard at that moment.
Which seemed like hours, but was only a couple of minutes, Adam, Hoss, Charlie, Hank and Dan came riding into the yard. As soon as they saw Ben laying on the ground they quickly jumped off their horses and rushed over to Ben and Hop Sing.
" Hop Sing, what happened ?" Adam shouted. " Not know. Hear little boy scream and Hop Sing run out of house to see Mr. Ben on ground hurt bad. Leg all bloody. Need to get Dr. Martin fast !" Hop Sing excitedly replied. With that said, Dan quickly rode out of the yard to get the doctor.
" Hop Sing, did Little Joe say what happened?" Hoss nervously asked as he looked at Ben's crushed, broken and bloodly leg, which made them all sick.
" Little Joe in shock. He not say what happened to father. He say it his fault," Hop Sing replied as he couldn't take his eyes off of Ben.
" How could this be his fault?" Hoss questioned as he looked at Hop Sing and Adam. Adam noticed the rope hanging from the loft window and he had an idea, which he hoped wasn't true.
Charlie and Hoss found an old door and they all very carefully put Ben on it and they carried it up to Ben's room. They decided to to leave Ben on the door until Dr. Paul Martin could examine him. They did't want to move Ben's leg at all.
Once they had all of Ben's cut off of him, they gently put his nightshirt on him and they begged him to please open his eyes, but there was no response at all.
Adam quickly went to Little Joe's room to find out what happened to Ben. As he entered the boy's room he saw his very distraught little brother sitting on the floor with his knee's and up and his arms tightly hugging his knee's and he was wimpering as he rocked back and forth.
Adam
carefully approached his little brother and he kneeled down in front of the
boy. " Little Joe, please little buddy, you
need to tell me what happened to
Adam finally sat down on the floor and pulled his trembling little brother on his lap as he rubbed the child's back. " Please little buddy I need to know what happened to Pa so I can help him. Please baby, tell me what happened, please," Adam calmly begged again.
Little Joe slowly took a deep breath in between deep sobs and he very quietly said, " It, it was my fault Adam. I..I..I swung out of window. I didn't know Pa was ridin' inta the yard. I swung over him and Buck got scared, and he reared up and Pa fell off. Then Buck fell over backwards and he landed on Pa's leg," Little Joe explained as he became hysterical again'
Adam was furious with his little brother. He knew the boy had been told many many times about that little stunt of his and now their Pa had suffered badly for it.
Adam was much to angry to say anything at first. He pushed his little brother off of his lap, stood up and started for the door, but he turned around and stared at the trembling boy and he shouted, " THIS IS YOUR FAULT YOU STUPID LITTLE BRAT !"
When Adam returned to Ben's room he told Hop Sing, Charlie, Hoss and Hank what Little Joe had done.
" It's
all his fault for what happened to Pa !" Adam said loudly. " Come on now Adam, he didn't do it on purpose ya know," Hoss replied knowing that his little brother
would never do anything on purpose to hurt anyone, especially their
" Yes, he did it on purpose. Look how many times he has been told not to do that, but he doesn't care about anyone else but himself. Does he ever listen? NO ! This is his fault and I don't care what happenes to that little brat !" Adam shouted back.
Little Joe could hear every word of what Adam was saying, and he knew that everyone must truely hate him. He wanted to go to his Pa so badly, but he knew they wouldn't let him. Little Joe loved his Pa so much and he never meant to hurt him, but in his heart he knew he had hurt his Pa, and hurt him badly.
When Paul arrived, he was shocked at the condition of Ben's leg, and he hoped that he would be able to save the leg.
" His leg is in very bad shape. It is badly broken and I will do everything I can to save it, but I can't promise he will have complete use of that leg again. He also has a sight concussion as well. I have to operate on that leg which will take a long time to get it repaired," Paul explained to them.
" Where is Little Joe?" Paul asked. " He's in his room. It was an accident Paul, but he blames himself for what happened," Hoss sadly replied
" It was his fault and he knows it too!" Adam shouted. " Adam, it was an accident just as Hoss said. You shouldn't blame the boy. I'm sure he feels awful about what happened," Paul explained hoping that Adam would come to his senses.
" Well he should, the little brat ! It's his fault and I told him so too !" Adam shouted back at Paul.
Adam looked at Hoss and said, " Don't worry, I am going to send that brat far away from here so he won't be able to hurt anyone ever again. They have great schools back east for boys, so let them deal with the little brat, and hopefully they can teach him to do as he is told."
Hoss was shocked as was everyone else in the room at Adam's statement. " Adam, ya can't send Little Joe away. This is his home, and we are his family. He needs us, and Pa needs him," Hoss tried to tell Adam.
" I
am going to get in touch with some of those schools today, and then I am riding
into
When Paul and Hop Sing returned to Ben's room to begin the surgery, they saw Little Joe laying on the bed with his arm around Ben's shoulder and he was holding one of Ben's hands as well.
Little Joe was crying and telling Ben how sorry he was. It was a heartbreaking sight.
" Little Joe, are you alright son?" Paul asked, as he looked at the distraught child. The teary eyed boy looked at Paul and Hop Sing as the tears poured down his very sad and pale face.
" I...I...I didn't mean fer Pa ta get hurt ! Ya gotta believe me !" Little Joe pleaded as he completely broke down. Paul and Hop Sing rushed over to the little boy to try to give him some comfort, but the boy became hysterical again and he ran out of Ben's room and back to his own room.
Paul went to get a sedative out of his bag for Little Joe, and he asked Hop Sing and Hoss to help him with the boy so he could give him a shot. Little Joe fought them they best he could, but he was given the shot anyway.
Hoss put his little brother into bed so Paul and Hop Sing could begin to operate on Ben's leg.
After Hoss had Little Joe in his nightshirt, he held his little brother in his arms for a while. He knew that the boy hadn't planned on hurting anyone, especially Ben.
Hoss could feel the boy's trembling body while he held the now deeply sleeping boy. He prayed to God that Ben's leg would be fine and he also prayed for his little brother. He knew the boy's heart was breaking, and he wanted to let his little brother know that he didn't blame him for Ben's accident, because it was just an accident.
It was a very tricky surgery for Paul with having to put all the broken bones back into their correct places in Ben's leg. Paul was so very relieved that there was no nerve damage to the leg. Luckily too, there weren't any crushed bones in Ben's leg either, but the breaks were bad enough as it was.
The surgery took almost three hours, and Paul was very thankful to have Hop Sing's help with the surgery. Hop Sing seemed very knowledgable about medicines and injuries, especially Chinese herbs that he used for illness and injuries for the Cartwrights.
Adam needed
the ride to
While Adam was in town, he went to get the mail, then he went to The Bucket Of Blood to get a beer that suddenly sounded very good to him.
As Adam slowly drank his beer, Sheriff Roy Coffee stopped by to check to make sure everything was fine in the saloon.
" Hi
Adam, how are things at the Ponderosa?"
" Hi
" Adam,
please don't blame Little Joe. The boy would never purposely hurt anyone,
especially his
" Thank you
On his way home, Adam stopped at Marie's grave for a few minutes. " Ma, please forgive for what I said to Little Joe. I was so angry at him that I didn't think at what I said to him."
" I know how quilty he feels and I made that boy feel even worse. Please help me to be able to make it up to him. You know I could never send the boy away. I love him too much and I know that I need to prove that to him. I just hope I can say the right words to him. Please help me ma. I love you," Adam cried to Marie.
As soon as Adam returned home, he took Sport in the barn. He was surprised to see Hoss tending to Buck's leg.
" Hoss, how's Pa?" Adam nervously asked. Hoss looked up at his older brother, and replied, " I don't know. Paul's still working on Pa's leg." Hoss wanted so much to talk to Adam about him wanting to send their little brother away, but he just couldn't bear the thought of not having the boy with them.
Adam sensing what was on Hoss's mind, knew he needed to talk with Hoss about the things he had angrily shouted before he had gone to town.
" Hoss, I'm sorry that I lost control with Little Joe. I can't tell you how awful I feel at what I said to him and blaming him like that. How is little brother doing?" Adam softly asked.
Hoss felt so relieved at what Adam had just said. " He's having a really hard time Adam. When Paul, Hop Sing and me went back up to Pa's room, little brother was laying next to Pa crying and apologizing to him. He got so hysterical that Paul had to give him a sedative. I'm really worried about him Adam," Hoss sadly said with a lot of concern in his voice.
" I need to have a long talk with Little Joe. I have to make him understand that it wasn't his fault, but just an accident. I hope I can get him to believe that. Is Buck alright?" Adam added.
" Yeah, he's fine Adam. I'll help ya with Short Shanks. We can let him help take care of Pa, and maybe that will help too. God, I hope that Pa's leg will be as good as new," Hoss suggested.
" That
is a wonderful Idea Hoss, having little brother help us with
Both Adam and Hoss stood up as soon as Paul began walking down the stairs. He smiled at them as he walked the rest of the way down the stairs and into the livingroom.
" Paul, how is Pa doing?" Adam asked as he was very nervous. Both boys watched Paul's eyes and facial expressions for any indication as what Paul would say.
" Let's sit down and I'll explain everything about the surgery. It was a long surgery as you know. The leg was badly broken. Thank God, Ben's leg wasn't crushed and that there was no nerve damage either. I was so very concerned about both of those things. There were several breaks in the leg though."
" It is still too swelled up to put a cast on just yet, so as soon as the swelling goes down, I will put a cast on it. The broken bones did puncture the skin on the leg, which was the cause for all the blood. I have carefully cleaned the wounds and stitched the leg as well."
" The cast will cover the entire leg. Ben won't be able to put any weight on that leg for at least eight to ten weeks. After that, he can use crutches. I want the cast to stay on for at least ten weeks."
" His leg will be very weak, so I will show you how to massage it and then show you what type of exercises I want Ben to do that will help strengthen the leg again. Once he has done everything I have just explained to you both, he shouldn't even have a limp."
" I have left pain medication with Hop Sing that I want Ben to take every four to six hours depending how much pain he is in. His leg will be quite painful, but once the cast is on, it will feel better."
" I am very worried about Little Joe. That boy is taking this much too hard. He needs to know that this was an accident even though he was doing something that he wasn't suppose to be doing in the first place. That boy needs a lot of love and understanding, which I know all of you can help him with."
" I will be spending the night here so I can keep checking on Ben for fever. He does have a low grade fever now, which is perfectly normal. As long as it doesn't get any higher, then there shouldn't be any infection," Paul finally finished explaining to Adam and Hoss.
" Thank you Paul. It looks like a long recovery and knowing Pa, it won't be easy to get him to cooperate, but he won't have any choice in that matter. He's just as bad as Little Joe is when he is sick and has to stay confined to bed for long periods of time," Adam said as he smiled.
" Ain't that the truth. Little brother gets his subborness from Pa, and also his mama too," Hoss said agreeing with what Adam had just said. Paul also agreeded at both statements.
The three men went upstairs to look in on Ben, and then they went to look in on Little Joe who was in a deep sleep.
Little Joe woke up around four in the early morning. He got out of bed, and he quickly packed some clothes and family photos and he put them into his saddle bags. He wrote a quick note for his family, then with tears running down his face, he quietly slipped out his bedroom window.
Once he had made it to the barn, he saddled Tony, and he led the horse out the back door of the barn and tied Tony's reins to the fence. He then went back in the barn and out the front doors of the barn and he latched then shut.
He then ran back to the back of the barn, untied Tony's reins and he rode away from the Ponderosa, the only home he had ever known. He was crying hard as he rode farther away from home.
The End of part one.