" I'm Sorry ! I Didn't Mean To !"
Part two.
By: Lynne G.
Little Joe decided to head up into the mountains and stay with a former ranch hand, Clancy Morgan, who now lived in a cabin in the mountains.
Clancy had worked for Ben for several years, but he had decided to retire, and he had always wanted to buy some land and live in the mountains. Clancy was a very friendly man, and everyone liked him, and he would always be a close friend of the Cartwrights.
Clancy had been saving his money so when he did retire he could buy some land, and he knew right where he wanted to live. He had seen the area in the mountains that he fell in love with, so he would make monthly payments on the land so by the time he retired it would be paid for.
Clancy had built himself a medium sized cabin. Since the weather in the mountains could be very bad for weeks at a time, Clancy built a large barn that he attached to the back of his cabin, so he could tend to his horses during the winter and bad weather without having to go outside.
One half of the barn was a large wood storage area which Clancy could keep a years worth of wood stored, and again, he wouldn't need to go outside to chop wood in bad weather.
Attached the back of the barn, Clancy built an outhouse. He also had another outhouse several feet away from his cabin.
The inside of Clancy's cabin was warm and cozy. He had a large fireplace and a cook stove. The cabin had two bedrooms the were seperated by a hall. Clancy had also built a large food storage area just off his kitchen. Next to the food storage area was the back door that led to the attached buildings. Clancy had also put doors to the attached building that would lead outside.
About every
two to three months, Clancy would make the long two day ride into
Around seven in the morning, Ben had finally awaken with a soft moan which had awaken Adam, who had been sleeping in the chair that was next to Ben's bed.
" Hi Pa, how are you feeling this morning?" Adam asked as he smiled down at Ben. Ben looked up at his oldest son, smiled and answered, "Hi son. My leg hurts, and I have a slight headache. What happened?"
" Do you remember what happened yesterday afternoon Pa?" Adam asked hoping that Ben would remember falling from Buck. As Ben looked at Adam, he suddenly remembered falling.
" Yes, I was riding into the yard when Little Joe suddenly flew overhead on that rope. Buck was startled and he reared up. I wasn't expecting him to do that, and I remember falling then everything went black," Ben explained.
About that time, Paul walked into the room and when he saw Ben was awake, he smiled at Ben. " Good morning Ben. How do you feel?" Paul asked. " Good morning Paul. As I told Adam, my leg hurts and I have a slight headache," Ben replied.
" Well, your leg should hurt my dear friend, since it is badly broken. I had to operate on it last night and get all the bones set. As soon as the swelling goes down, I can put a cast on it. I'm sorry to tell you, but you are going to be laid up for at least two and half months, or maybe longer depending on how fast you heal up," Paul explained.
Ben was shocked at what Paul had just explained to him. " What ? You've got to be kidding Paul. I can't be laid up that long, I've got a ranch to run !" Ben declared.
" Sorry Ben, you don't have a choice about that. I'm going to give you something for your pain, and I need to have a look at your leg," Paul told Ben as he mixed up some pain medication for Ben, then he handed it to Ben.
Ben drank the medication and handed the glass back to Paul just as Hop Sing brought Ben some breakfast. Hop Sing always seemed to know just when to show up with food for the Cartwrights when any of them were sick and having to stay in bed.
" Ben, after you finish your breakfast, I want you to go back to sleep for a while. I'm happy to say that the swelling in your leg has gone down quite fast, so I will be able to put that cast it now, and remember, don't put any weight on that leg for at least eight to ten weeks, and I don't want any arguments about that either," Paul warned. Even though Ben wasn't happy about being laid up, he mumbled, " Oh alright !"
After Paul had put the cast on Ben's leg, Ben went back to sleep. After one last check on Ben, Paul went downstairs to have breakfast with Adam and Hoss.
" I suppose I should go and wake up Little Joe, and explain to him about Pa's leg and to also apologize to him for the awful things I said to him yesterday. I hope he will forgive me. I know I have hurt him deeply," Adam sadly said.
" Adam, please let me explain to him about Ben's leg," Paul suggested. Adam nodded, happy that he wouldn't have to try to explain about Ben's leg to his little brother.
Adam quickly headed up to Little Joe's room. As he stood in front of the closed door, he took a deep breath and walked into the room. He was surprised to find the boy's bed empty. Then he spotted the note laying on the boy's bed.
With a sick feeling in his stomach, Adam picked up the note, slowly unfolded it and began to read it. " Oh, little buddy, what have I done to you?" Adam softly said with tears in his eyes.
He quickly ran down the stairs with the note in his hand. " Little Joe ran away. I found this note on his bed !" Adam declared as he handed the note to Paul. Paul took the note from Adam and he read it outloud.
" I
can't stay here no more after what I have dun ta
Little Joe.
At first no
one said anything as they were thinking about what the boy had written to
them. Then Hoss spoke up, " Adam, we gotta
go and find him. He feels so guilty and so hurt by what happened ta
" We shouldn't have left him alone during the night. This is all my fault. I chased our little brother away. It's going to be hard to find any prints made by Tony because of the rain we had early this morning. Hopefully he hasn't gone very far," Adam suggested.
" Boys you need to find that boy. I don't want to be the one to tell Ben that his son has run off because of what happened. I wonder what time he left? I certainly didn't hear him leave," Paul said with concern about Little Joe.
Neither Adam or Hoss had heard their little brother leave the house either.
Little Joe just kept riding towards the mountains. He knew where Clancy lived, as he and the family often went to visit the kind older gentleman.
Adam and Hoss had ridden out to look for Little Joe along with several of the ranch hands. Just as Adam had suggested, all of Tony's prints had been washed away.
As it was now getting towards late in the afternoon, Adam, Hoss and the ranch hands returned home without any luck in finding the missing boy. They had planned to search again that next day.
Paul had returned to the ranch that evening, as he wanted to be there when Ben read the note from Little Joe. He knew that Ben would be very upset that his young son had run off.
Just as they had all thought, Ben took the news about Little Joe very hard, and all he wanted was his missing son home, and he was upset too, that he couldn't go out and look for the boy.
" You've got to find him for me. I need my baby home with me. Please find him, please ," Ben pleaded with tears in his eyes.
" Pa, we have looked all day and we are going back out tomorrow to search again. Trust us Pa, we will find him for you," Adam promised.
" Ben, please let the boys and hands take care of this. You need to relax and rest," Paul suggested as he had his hand on Ben's shoulder. " Relax, how can I relax with my baby out there somewhere alone, scared and feeling like we hate him !" Ben angrily replied.
Little Joe decided that he needed to stop for the night since it was getting too dark to see where he was going. He didn't unsaddle Tony in case he had to leave fast for any reason. He tried to sleep, but he was too nervous to sleep, with being in the middle of nowhere by himself.
The next morning as it was barely starting to get light, Little Joe continued on his way to Clancy's cabin.
Back at the ranch house, Adam and Hoss had an early breakfast, and they and several of the hands continued their search for Little Joe.
Around
As Clancy opened the door, he smiled at Little Joe. " Well Little Joe, it's a wonderful to see you son. Come in please," Clancy suggested as he looked around for the rest of the Cartwrights. He was surprised when he didn't see them.
" Where is your family son?" Clancy asked when he realized that the boy was by himself, and that the boy looked so sad.
Little Joe put his arms around Clancy's body and he began to cry hard. Clancy picked up the distraught boy and carried him over to the rocking chair near the fireplace and he held the crying child and he wondered what was wrong.
After several long minutes, Clancy finally was able to get Little Joe to calm down a little. " Little Joe boy, what's wrong? Please tell me what is wrong?" Clancy begged.
In between deep sobs, Little Joe slowly and softly told Clancy what happened. Clancy could feel all the guilt coming out of this very sensitive boy and he could also feel the boy's badly trembling body as well.
Clancy took a deep breath and said, " Listen Little Joe, please calm down now son. You can stay here with me, don't worry about that. You are safe here. Son, your family doesn't hate you. They have never hated you and they will never hate you."
" They must be worried sick about you and wondering where in the world you are. Little Joe, your family loves you very much. They understand that what happened to your Pa was just accident. I bet they have been looking for you since they discovered that you had run off. I know that they are out at this very moment looking for you son," Clancy explained.
" Little Joe, Dr. Martin is a wonderful doctor, and I know that he can fix your Pa's leg so it will be as good as new," Clancy continued as he held the boy, who had fallen into a restless sleep. Clancy felt so bad for Little Joe, and he wished that he could get word to the Cartwrights some how to let them know that the boy was safely with him. He then carried Little Joe to one of the bedrooms and laid him on the bed and covered him up.
Clancy was very grateful that Little Joe had come to him rather than strangers. He wasn't happy that the boy was alone, as anything could have happened to the boy on the long ride to his cabin. He thanked God for keeping the boy safe on his long ride.
After another long search without any trace of Little Joe, the tired riders returned to the ranch yard. They were all very disappointed at not being able to find the missing boy.
No one in
The weather been very bad in the mountains, and there was no way that Clancy wanted to risk a long ride to Virginia City, so he and Little Joe had to stay put. The mountain storms could last for weeks at a time, but inside the cabin, it was warm and cozy.
It had now been a month since Ben had broken his leg, and he was about to go crazy with having to stay in bed. He was worried sick about Little Joe, and he hoped and prayed that his son was safe somewhere.
Ben's leg was healing faster than Paul thought, but Paul still wouldn't let Ben put any weight on that leg. Adam and Hoss continued to look for their missing little brother. They didn't want to believe that the boy was dead. They could feel in their hearts that Little Joe was alive somewhere.
Clancy
decided that he would wait until he needed to go into
Finally the big day came for Ben's cast to come off, but he was very depressed and he really didn't care one way or another if the cast came off. Sure, he would be much more comfortable without that heavy cast, but his heart just wasn't in it.
After the cast came off, Ben's leg was very weak. Paul showed Adam, Hoss and Hop Sing how to massage the leg and the exercises that would help strengthen the leg. As the days went by, Ben could feel the strength returning to his leg. He was able to get around fairly well with the crutches that he had to use yet.
Little Joe was thinking constantly about his family, especially about Ben, and he wondered how his leg was doing.
Clancy was getting quite concerned by Little Joe's depression, and his lack of eating, plus the boy was very quiet too. Then there were all the nightmares the boy was having several times a week.
Clancy did his best with giving Little Joe a lot of love and understanding, but most of all, he tried to explain to the boy that his family needed him back with them and that he shouldn't feel guilty even though he was doing something that he had been told many times not to do.
It had now
been just over two and a half months since Little Joe appeared at Clancy's and
Clancy knew that he needed to go
" Clancy, I dunt wanna go with ya . Please let me stay here. I promise I won't get inta any trouble. Please, can I stay here? I wanna live here with ya Clancy," Little Joe stated as he begged.
Clancy didn't want to leave the boy alone, because he thought if Little Joe went wandering around he might get lost and that scared him deeply. So he did have an idea of something to tell the boy.
" Tell you what Little Joe, if Ieave you alone, I don't want you to go outside. There are a lot of bears around here, and it is too dangerous for a boy out by himself. That is one of the reason why I built all these building attached, so I wouldn't have to go outside when the bears come around."
" Again, I want you to stay in the cabin or in the barn so you can take care of Tony. There is stew left over and meat for sandwiches. Just be very careful with the matches and fire. I am putting all my trust in you son," Clancy explained.
" I promise Clancy, I'll be careful and I also promise I won't go outside either. You can trust me Clancy. Please dunt tell anyone where I am," the youngster replied.
" Ok. I will be leaving early in the morning, and I won't be back for at least four days. Are you sure you don't want to come with me son?" Clancy asked as he hoped that the boy would change his mind.
" I'm sure Clancy. I wanna stay here please," Little Joe replied even though he was a little nervous about being up in the mountains all alone, but he did feel very safe in the cabin.
Adam and Hoss looked just about everyday for Little Joe. None of them had even given any thought that Little Joe had gone to Clancy's.
Clancy left early that next morning for Virginia City, and again just before he left, he asked Little Joe if he had changed his mind about going with him, but the boy still wanted to stay at the cabin.
At first, the leg exercises where painful for Ben. His leg was very stiff, but with a lot of hard work with his exercises, Ben's leg was almost back to normal again.
Adam had
gone into
" Clancy, it's great to see you again. Time for supplies I see," Adam said as he smiled and shook hands with the gentleman.
" Hi Adam. I am very glad to see you too. How are you?" Clancy asked. " Just fine. Thank you," Adam replied.
" Adam, I need to let you know that Little Joe has been with me since he ran away from home. The weather has been so bad in the mountains that I haven't been able to get away until now. I wanted the boy to come with me to town, but he didn't want to and he told me that he wants to live with me.
By the way, how is Ben's leg?" Clancy asked after he told Adam about Little Joe.
Adam felt a huge relief that his baby brother was safe, before he said anything back to Clancy.
" Thank God ! We have been so worried about him Clancy and we have looked everywhere for him. We never gave any thought that he would head up to be with you, but I am so thankful that he did. Oh, Pa's leg is back to normal again. Thank you for asking, Adam relpied.
" Clancy tell me, how is Little Joe?" Adam asked. " I'm very worried about him Adam. He is very depressed, he's not eating much, he's very quiet, and he has been having nightmares several times a week. He has been crying a lot also. That boy needs his family badly, but he won't admit to it, Clancy explained.
" I have tried to tell him that you want him back and that you all love him very much, but I don't think he believes me, Clancy sadly added.
" We
don't hate that boy. We have been worried sick about him, and we have
looked everywhere for him. I need to go to him and explain all of that to
him, and I also need to apologize for all the mean things I said to him right
after he told me what happened to
" I certainly hope you can convince him to return home. I have really enjoyed having him with me, but he needs to be at home with all of you," Clancy expressed.
" Clancy, please come back to the ranch with me and tell Pa about Little Joe while I get some supplies together, then we can head back to your place," Adam suggested.
" I'd
like that very much Adam. Thank you, and it is closer to home than
" Oh, and Adam, don't worry about Little Joe. He is perfectly safe at the cabin. I told there were a lot of bears near, so he has no reason to go outside," Clancy added.
" Thank you for saying that," Adam answered back.
Little Joe spent most of his time in the barn with Tony. He was glad that he didn't need to go outside, thanks to the way Clancy had built his cabin with it's attached buildings, which he thought was a great idea. It made him feel safer being inside.
Ben, Hoss and Hop Sing were very relieved to hear that Little Joe had been with Clancy and that he was safe. Ben couldn't wait to see his young son and to hold the boy in his arms again. It had been so long since he had done that. He loved Little Joe more than life.
Hoss decided to go along with Adam to get his baby brother back, and Adam was happy to have him go along with he and Clancy.
As soon as Adam and Hop Sing had enough supplies together and all loaded up on a pack horse, the Cartwright brothers and Clancy set off to the mountains to Clancy's cabin.
Just as they were leaving, Ben said, " Please Adam, Hoss, please bring my baby back to me !" " Don't worry Pa, we will bring him home even if we have to tie him to Tony," Adam said as he smiled back at Ben.
Ben and Hop Sing both knew that the next several days were going to be very long indeed. They just wanted a certain little boy back at home with them.
The four days that Clancy was gone seemed like years to Little Joe. The boy was very lonely. He did eat some food, but he found it very hard to sleep.
When he did eat, he would take his food into the barn so he could be with Tony. He even slept in the barn with Tony, so he wouldn't feel so alone.
Finally Clancy, Adam and Hoss arrived safely at the cabin. They quickly got off their horses, tied the reins to the hitching post by the porch of the cabin and they quickly entered the cabin.
They were concerned when they didn't see Little Joe in the cabin, but Clancy suugested that they look in the barn. As soon as they walked into the large barn, they saw Little Joe alseep while he was sitting on the floor leaning on the stall where Tony was eating some grain.
The sight of their little brother just melted their hearts and they were so relieved to see the boy they loved so much.
" It's really him Adam. It's our baby brother," Hoss softly, but excitedly declared as he had tears running down his very happy face.
Adam looked at his little brother, and he too had tears running down his face, as he agreed with Hoss. " Yes, it's really him Hoss."
Both Adam and Hoss sat down on the floor beside their baby brother, and Adam picked up the sleeping boy and held him tightly against his chest. Adam kissed the top of the boy's head as he cried. Hoss put his arm around both of his brother and he too was crying.
" Hey Punkin, ya gotta wake up now baby," Hoss begged as he ran his large fingers through Little Joe's soft thick curly hair.
Little Joe was suddenly aware that he was being held, and he could hear crying and the soft voices of Adam and Hoss.
In his young mind, he thought that he was dreaming, but he could feel his back being lovingly rubbed.
The boy slowly opened his eyes and he was now looking up at Adam who was smiling at him. Little Joe began to cry as Adam was still holding him.
Clancy had gone back into the cabin so Adam and Hoss could be alone with their little brother.
" Hey, it's alright little buddy. Thank God we found you. We have been so worried about you, and we have looked everywhere for you. Do you realize how much we love you little buddy?" Adam said.
" Pa is just fine and he wants you back home so badly as we all do. We aren't upset with you at all. We know what happened to Pa was just an accident. Please Little Joe, you have to believe that. I can't tell you how sorry I am for all those nasty things I said to you. I was just upset at the time and I didn't think of what I was saying. Please little buddy, please believe me," Adam begged as continued to hold Little Joe.
" Punkin, big brother is right about everything he just told you. We need you back home with us. We love you so much, and don't you ever forget that either little brother. I need you back in my life Little Joe. So please say that you will come back home with us," Hoss cried.
" How'd ya find me?" Little Joe softly asked as he continued to sob. Adam took hold of one of Little Joe's small hands and he explained about seeing Clancy in town, and Clancy saying where you were.
" I tell ya little buddy, Pa was so happy to hear that you were safe that he cried, and in Pa's exact words, he said," Please bring my baby back to me." So here we are to take you back home to Pa, with us," Adam answered back to his sobbing little brother.
" Do you want to come back home with us Punkin?" Hoss asked, hoping the boy would say ' yes '. Little Joe looked at both of his big brothers and he nodded, ' yes' that he wanted to go home, but he was too emotional to talk at that moment.
As soon as Little Joe got his things together that he had brought with him and Hoss had saddled Tony for him, they were ready to leave for home.
" Thank you Clancy fer takin' care of me. I love ya Clancy," Little Joe softly said as he gave Clancy a big hug as the tears ran down his face.
Clancy hugged Little Joe back, and told the boy that he loved him too. " It was all my pleasure son. I have really enjoyed you staying here with me. You know son, you are a very lucky boy to have such a wonderful and loving family," Clancy told the boy. Little Joe nodded back.
" Thank you again Clancy," Adam told Clancy. " You take care now," Adam added. " I will. You have a safe trip home," Clancy told them. " We will. Thank you. Bye," they all said as they rode off.
Clancy stood on the porch and watched the Cartwrights ride off. He was really going to miss Little Joe being there with him. " Please God, make that boy feel better again. He's a great kid," Clancy said outloud as he took his horses to the barn.
A day and half later, the Cartwright brothers rode into the yard. Little Joe was very nervous about facing Ben again, and what would he say to him.
As soon as Ben heard horses coming into the yard, he went outside with high hopes that it was his three sons.
As soon as he saw Little Joe, his heart skipped a beat and he couldn't wait to hold his youngest son in his arms again. He needed to feel the warmth of his youngest son again. He looked up towards the sky and he mouthed " THANK YOU " to God that Little Joe was back home safe and sound.
When Little Joe saw Ben standing there smiling at him, all his guilt came flooding back to him, as the tears filled up his eyes and his body began to tremble.
His brothers noticed right away how scared the boy was and they felt bad for him. Adam quietly told him everything was fine and that he didn't have anything to worry about.
" Come on little buddy. Trust me, everythings fine," Adam said trying to reassure the boy as he helped him off Tony.
Adam put his arm around Little Joe's shoulder and he could feel the boy trembling badly. " Hey, it's alrght little buddy. Please believe me," Adam said.
Ben walked over to Little Joe and reached for his young son and he picked him up and he held him for dear life in his arms. Ben could feel his son's trembling body and he heard the boy crying as well.
" Shh... It's alright sweetheart. Thank God you are alright and safely back home again. I have been so worried about you and have missed you so very much. God, I love you so much Little Joe, and I have been so lonely without you sweetheart." Ben cried.
" It was all just an accident son. I don't blame you at all. My leg is just fine sweetheart. Please Little Joe, everything is fine, I promise you son. I just want my happy go lucky young son back again," Ben added.
Ben could feel his son finally relax as he continued to hold him, and he lovingly rubbed the boy's back. That always felt special to Little Joe to have his back lovingly rubbed.
Ben carried his son into the house and he sat down in his chair. He didn't want to let go of Little Joe, who now had the hiccups.
Little Joe lifted his head off Ben's shoulder and he looked Ben in the eyes and said, " I love ya so much Papa. I'm so sorry. Are ya sure yer leg is ok?"
Ben smiled at the boy and answered back, " My leg is just fine baby. Now, are you alright?" Ben asked as he looked closely at his son. He could tell that his son was exhausted. " I...I.. think so. I'm really tired though Papa." the youngster stated.
Ben loved it when Little Joe called him ' Papa ' since the boy had stopped doing that a few years ago. Little Joe usually called him " Pa " now, so hearing ' Papa ' felt very precious to Ben.
" I know you are son. I could tell that just by looking at you. Would you like me to carry you up to your room so you can have a nap?" Ben asked.
" No. Papa, could ya just please keep holding me?" the boy softly asked. " I'd be more than happy to hold you sweetheart. I don't want to let go of you yet. I love you Little Joe, and I don't want you ever to forget that either baby," Ben replied as he kissed his son's head.
When Adam and Hoss came in the house, they weren't one bit surprised to see Ben still holding their little brother who had fallen asleep.
" Is everything alright again Pa?" Adam asked as he had to smile at the happy look on Ben's face as he still held Little Joe in his arms. Ben just smiled back and he whispered back, " yes."
Once again, life was back to normal for the Cartwright family.
The End.