" Please Don't Let Me Die
!"
By: Lynne G.
By now Little Joe Cartwright knew he was going to die soon. The boy had fought as hard as he possibly could, but it didn't seem to do any good. He couldn't escape from the lonely prison he was trapped in.
He didn't want to give up, because it wasn't something a Cartwright did. He fought until he could fight no more, and he prayed to God again.
" Please dear God, please don't let me die out here all alone ! Please help me ! I'm so scared and so very tired."
" Oh Papa, why can't ya find me ? I promise I'll be a good boy from now on. Please dear God, let my Papa and my brothers find me," the boy begged as he cried.
As Little Joe laid on the cold damp ground with his hands and wrists tied by a rope. There was another rope tied around his slim waist that had been tied to a large pine tree making it impossible for the boy to move. To make matters worse, he had been buried under a large pile of pine branches.
As he laid there, he thought back to several days earlier when this nightmare began.
" JOSEPH, don't you dare raise your voice at me ! If you had only listened to me in the first place, you wouldn't be on restriction right now ! You have only yourself to blame for this !" Ben angrily reminded his twelve year old son.
" But...Pa...I..." the boy began in his own defense, before Ben stopped him.
" Joseph, just shut up and go and do your chores NOW !" Ben loudly suggested as he was tired of youngest son's attitude.
Adam and Hoss just sat there feeling a little sorry for their younger brother who always seemed to be arguing with their father lately.
Before he turned to leave the house, Little Joe shouted, " I'm always in trouble with all of you ! Ya all treat me like I don't exist unless ya want me ta do stuff ! Well, let me tell ya all something, I WISH I HAD NEVER BEEN BORN AND I WISH I WAS DEAD ! DO YA LL HEAR ME ?"
The very upset boy raced out of the house and slammed the door shut with tears falling down his face. His family just sat there in shock at what they had just heard from the youngest member of the family, and they were speechless at first.
Ben finally found his voice and he shouted back as he ran to the door, " JOSEPH, GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT ! DON'T YOU EVER TALK LIKE THAT AGAIN ! JOSEPH !"
Ben was just in time to see his son race out of the yard on his pinto, Cochise.
A voice from behind him caused Ben to turn around and walk back in the house.
" Pa, he can't mean what he said about wishing he hadn't been born and wishing he were dead. He just can't," Hoss cried. They were still shocked at what Little Joe had shouted at them.
" He's just upset right now. I'm sure he didn't think of what he was saying. We'll let him simmer down and if he hasn't come back home in an hour, then we will go and look for him," Ben said as he felt bad about the fight he had just had with the boy.
Adam was still specchless by his little brother's behavior, so he just kept quiet, and he hoped the boy would be alright and come home soon.
Little Joe raced off to his mother's grave, and once he had arrived there, he jumped off of Cochise and he slowly walked over to the grave where he fell to his knees and he cried.
" Oh mama, why can't I do what I'm told to do ? I hate to fight with Pa and and my brothers. I try so hard ta please em, but it's like I don't exist anymore. Mama, help me please !" the boy cried.
About thirty minutes later, Little Joe stood up, rubbed his eyes, and told his mother that he loved her and he got on Cochise and slowly rode off.
He still didn't feel like going home yet, so he decided to go for a short ride before he could face his family again. He knew he needed to apologize to his family once he returned home. In his mind he was trying to think of the correct words to use when he did apologize to them.
As he slowly rode along, not paying attention, he was joined by Rocky Young and Spence Wilson, the young men who loved to torment Little Joe everytime they saw him. Sometimes they would beat him up or just push him around. They hated the Cartwrights because they were a loving family and because they also had money.
" Well looky here, if it ain't Little Joe Cartwright all by himself. Ain't ya gonna say ' hello ' to us little boy?" Rocky teased.
" Little Joe was afraid of Rocky and Spence, beacuse of the way they treated him, and because they were a lot older and much bigger than he was.
" I ain't got nuffin' ta say ta ya. Just leave me alone please," the nervous boy mumbled.
Rocky and Spence just laughed at the nervous boy. " Oh, is the little boy scared? Guess we ain't good enough for a Cartwright !" Spence declared as they continued to glare at Little Joe.
Suddenly, Rocky grabbed Cochise's reins so Little Joe couldn't get away.
" Hey Spence, what do you think we should do with this little rich boy?" Rocky asked as he laughed. " Let's get rid of him once and for all, then there will be one less Cartwright around here !" Spence suggested as he and Rocky continued to laugh.
" Come on Cartwright and get off that fancy pinto of yours," Rocky demanded. Little Joe just sat still. That made Rocky and Spence mad, so Rocky pulled Little Joe off Cochise and the boy land hard on the ground and he was slightly winded.
Little Joe did try to get away from the men, but Spence hit the boy on the head with his gun handle and Little Joe's world turned black.
Rocky quickly tied the boy's wrists together before he picked up the unconscious boy and he handed him up to Spence who grabbed the boy and he held him in front of as they rode off, but before they had left, Rocky slapped Cochise on the rump and the pinto took off running.
Rocky, Spence and the still unconscious Little Joe continued to ride on Ponderosa land until they reach a secluded area, an area where they could hide the boy so he would never be found.
Rocky carried the unconscious boy over towards a stream that was next to a large pine tree, and he dropped Little Joe on the ground next to the stream.
They put Little Joe on his stomach and tied his ankles together. They untied the boy's wrists so they could put the boy's hands resting on his lower back, and they retied his wrists together. Then they put a gag in the youngster's mouth, and then he was tied to the tree.
For the next several minutes, Rocky and Spence cut branches off several fallen pine trees that had been blown down in a recent wind storm.
Once they had enough branches cut, they began to cover up Little Joe with the branches until he couldn't be seen anymore. Happy that the boy was out of sight, Rocky and Spence rode away leaving Little Joe alone to die.
About twenty minutes later, Little Joe slowly began to regain consciousness. His head was trobbing as he slowly opened his eyes. It was then he realized he was tied up and he couldn't move, and then to his horror, he was buried under many heavy pine branches. He began to panic.
" I guess we better go and look for Little Joe. I really thought that he would have been back home by now. He doesn't have his jacket or hat with him either," Ben softly said as he looked at the boy's jacket and hat on the rack on the wall.
" Maybe he fell asleep at his mama's grave. He's done that before," Hoss stated. " I hope you are right about that Hoss. I'm worried about him with his state of mind now," Adam said with a lot of concern in his voice.
When they arrived at Marie's grave, they were disappointed that Little Joe wasn't there. " I was hoping he would have been here," Ben sadly said. Adam and Hoss agreed.
" Knowing little brother, he's probably out riding yet," Adam said as he hoped he was right. " I hope you are correct about that son. Let's ride a little longer and with any luck, we will find that boy," Ben suggested.
As the Cartwrights continued to look for Little Joe they spotted Cochise grazing in a small meadow just ahead of them and they quickly rode over to the pinto.
They checked the horse for any sign of injury or to see if there was any blood on him, but he looked just fine. They took Cochise with them as they continued to look for the missing boy.
After a careful search of the area without finding any trace of the boy, they had no choice but to return home as it was getting dark outside.
Little Joe managed to get himself back under control and he was able to breath a little better, but he was still in a state of panic. He kept telling himself to settle down and think of a way out of this predicament he found himself in.
It was so quiet where he was. He could hear the stream, only because he was laying next to it. He felt sick to his stomach because his head hurt and he was scared to death. He realized that Rocky and Spence had left him there to die, and that terrified him.
Little Joe tried to get the gag out of his mouth by attempting to drag his face along the ground, but the gag stayed put. He even tired to remove the gag by moving his tongue around the gag, but it didn't help.
The boy was very thristy and he wanted some water desperately, but he had no way to get water even though he could hear the stream next to him. If it weren't for the gag, he knew he could have reached the stream and get a drink of water somehow. He couldn't help it and he started to cry.
It was a very restless night for the Cartwrights and Hop Sing. They were all too worried to sleep, and all they could think about was Little Joe. They knew that he was in some kind of trouble, but where he was, they had no idea.
During the night it began to rain hard. As soon as Ben heard the rain, all he could think about was that somewhere out there was his baby son, alone and scared and probably hurt. He didn't know what to think.
That next morning, the Cartwrights and several of their hands rode out to look for Little Joe again. If they only knew in which direction Cochise had come from, then they might be able to find some trace of the missing boy.
That next afternoon, Rocky and Spence decided to rob the bank in Virginia City, and then leave the area once and for all, but they really hadn't planned out the robbery very well, and they soon found themselves in a shoot out with Sheriff Roy Coffee and his deputy, Clem Foster.
Both Rocky and Spence were shot. Rocky died instantly and Spence was wounded severely, and he was close to death.
As Roy and Clem kneeled down next to Spence, the dying man confessed to killing Little Joe and that he and Rocky had buried the boy somewhere on the Ponderosa.
" Spence, please tell us where Little Joe is so we can find him ?" Roy asked as tears filled up his eyes, but Spence died before he could answer Roy's question.
Both Roy and Clem felt sick when Spence told them that Little Joe was dead and buried.
" This is going to kill Ben, Adam, Hoss and Hop Sing. How do you tell your best friend that his youngest boy is dead ?" Roy sadly mumbled to Clem. Clem only shook his head as he wiped away his tears. They couldn't believe that Little Joe was dead.
It was dinner time when the Cartwrights rode slowly into the yard. They had found absolutely no sing of Little Joe anywhere. It was as if the earth had opened up and swallowed the boy.
As they sat at the table, they couldn't help but to look at the boy's empty chair, a chair that Little Joe should be sitting in with them.
Later as they quietly sat in the livingroom, there was a knock on the door. Usually it was Little Joe's job to go to the door and open it, but since the boy was missing, Hoss got up and went to the door to see who was there.
As Hoss opened the door, there stood Roy. Hoss didn't say anything as his mind was miles away at the moment.
" Hi Hoss, can I come in please ?" Roy asked as he noticed the worried look on Hoss's face. Finally after a second or two Hoss finally said, " Hi Roy, sure come in. Sorry 'bout that Roy." Roy smiled the best he could at Hoss.
Ben stood up and did his best to smile at Roy, who looked very serious. " Hi Roy, what can I do for you?" Ben quietly asked as he and Roy sat down.
" Ben, Adam, Hoss, Hop Sing, I need to have a talk with you," Roy began. " This afternonn Rocky Young and Spence Wilson attempted to rob the bank in town. There was a shoot out and they were both hit. Rocky died instantly, but Spence was still alive for a couple of minutes."
" Spence made a confession Ben," Roy said as he took a deep breath, hating to say what he knew he had to say next. " I am so so very sorry to have to tell you all this, but Spence told Clem and me that he and Rocky had, had...killed Little Joe, and that they had buried him somewhere on the Ponderosa. I am so sorry," Roy said as he was crying.
Ben had lost all color on his face and he felt as if his heart had been torn out of his body, and he began to tremble badly. He along with Adam, Hoss and Hop Sing were in shock, but Hop Sing, Adam and Hoss rushed over to Ben to give him comfort.
Adam looked up at Roy through the tears in his eyes and he said, " Roy, Little Joe has been missing for several days now. We found his horse, but no sign of the boy. He can't be dead. Not Little Joe. He just can't be. He's only a boy !"
Roy's heart was breaking for this family. " I am sorry. I loved that boy as if he were my own son," Roy cried.
Ben stared straight ahead and he started to mumble," I need to find my baby so I can put him next to his mama. Oh God, why? Not my baby ! Not my baby !" Ben cried hard as did everyone in the room.
Little Joe drifted in and out of sleep all night and all that next day too. His head still hurt badly and he was having a hard time thinking straight. He felt so weak, and very helpless. He was wet from the rain that had seeped down through the branches that covered him.
He struggled the best he could to get the gag out of his mouth, and finally he was able to get it out. He took several deep breaths. His mouth was dry, and all he wanted was a drink of water.
Now if he could only move his body closer to the stream. He tried the best he could, but he still couldn't get his mouth to the stream. He tried over and over, and finally he was able to move his head just enough to reach the stream.
He put his mouth in the stream and he drank deeply. The water tasted wonderful to him. He drank slowly for several minutes. Just being able to reach the stream and get a drink, gave the boy a little more hope.
" Please God, don't let me die. I have so much to tell my family. Maybe if I can tell ya, can ya some how let them know what I need ta say ?"
" I love them all so very much. Oh Papa, I need ta say so much ta ya. I know I have been in so much trouble and mischief all my life, so I want ta apologize ta ya for every bit of mischief I have caused."
" I am so very sorry for everything. I hope that one day ya can forgive me Papa. I hope ya don't mind me callin' ya ' Papa ' again. I tried so hard to be good for ya. I'm really tired Papa. I gotta sleep for a while Papa. You are the best Papa there is and I'm so sorry I gave ya all that white hair. I love ya Papa," Little Joe whispered as he fell into a deep sleep.
It had been a very hard week for the Cartwrights and Hop Sing, trying to come to terms with Little Joe's death. Ben spent most of his time in Little Joe's room. It made him closer to his son with just being in the boy's room.
Each day Little Joe grew weaker. He had water to drink, but he hadn't eaten anything for six days now. As he found the strength, he would apologize to another member of his family.
" Adam, I am so sorry for all the trouble I gave ya when Pa was away and you were in charge of the ranch. I am also sorry everytime I lost my temper with ya too. Please Adam, please forgive me for everything and for not being a very good brother ta ya."
" I really love ya big brother. Please, please take care of Papa, Hoss and Hop Sing and Cochise too. He is the best horse ever, and I love him so much." Little Joe whispered.
It was getting very hard for Little Joe to think straight anymore. He was so very tired, so hungry, and he was now having trouble trying to keep warm. The branches had been almost keeping him warm. With that thought in his head, he went to sleep for a while.
Later that day when he woke up, he thought about Hoss. " Hoss, I am so sorry for all them pranks I have pulled on ya. I love ya so much big brother, and ya know that ya are my best friend. I hope ya can forgive me for everything," Little Joe cried softly.
" Hop Sing, I am also so sorry for all the pranks I pulled on ya too, and for all the trouble I gave ya in the kitchen and gettin' in yer way. I love ya Hop Sing. You are the best cook in the world, and I'm sorry that I didn't eat more," the boy whispered.
" Mama, please, I need ya so much," was the last thing Little Joe mumbled as he slipped into unconsciousness.
" I'm with you now precious boy. I will take care of you now until your Papa and brother's find you. I wish you could stay here with me forever baby, but it isn't your time yet, not for a long time yet to come," Marie told her son who she was holding in her arms so lovingly.
As Little Joe opened his eyes, he looked up at the beautiful woman who was holding him in her arms. " Are you really my mama? I feel so nice and warm now and I ain't scared no more either. Please mama, let me stay here with ya forever. I have missed ya so much mama," Little Joe cired as he felt so much love in his mother's loving arms.
Marie smiled at her son and she said," Yes my darling son, it's really me. I have missed you so very much baby, but I always look after you, and I will until it is your time to join me forever."
" I am so very proud of you Little Joe. You are a wonderful boy and a loving son for my darling Ben, and a wonderful brother to Adam and Hoss. They all love you more than anything else in this world son, and I don't ever want you to forget that. You are the best part of my life sweetheart," Marie told her boy.
Marie and Little Joe loved being together again. " I need you to go to sleep now my darling son. Just close your eyes and go to sleep," Marie suggested. Little Joe closed his eyes and was soon in a very deep sleep. Marie smiled at her son, and she softly whispered in his ear, " Good boy. I love you so much baby. You will soon be back home where you belong. I love you !"
As Ben was laying in his bed that night sleeping lightly, he began to dream.
" Ben my darling husband, you must find our baby boy. He needs you so badly. I will show you in your dream where to find him. Please Ben, save our son. You must leave at first light to find him. I love you so much my darling Ben," Marie told Ben.
Just before first light that next morning, Ben suddenly woke up and he shouted, " Little Joe, I'm coming for you son !"
Ben quickly got dressed and went to wake up Adam and Hoss.
Startled awake, Adam sat up and looked at Ben. " Pa, what's wrong? What are you doing up already?" Adam nervously asked.
" We need to get Little Joe now. I know where he is. Marie came to me in a dream last night and she told me where to find. He needs us so badly son. Come on and get dressed now !" Ben almost shouted.
Adam looked at Ben with a look of concern for his father's state of mind. " Pa, please go back to bed. Little Joe is gone now. Please Pa, just go back to bed," Adam suggested as he looked at Ben's face.
" NO, HE ISN'T ! I'LL GO MYSELF THEN !" Ben shouted.
" What's going on here?" Hoss asked as looked at Ben and Adam. " Hoss, Pa said that he had a dream last night in which Marie came to him and told him where to find Little Joe and now Pa wants us to go with him and find Little Joe," Adam told Hoss.
Hoss listened to what Adam had just told him and he looked at Ben and said, " I'll come with ya Pa, and I believe that Marie came to you in your dream."
" Thank you Hoss. Come on and let's get going !" Ben suggested.
Adam took a deep breath, sighed and got out of his warm bed and he quickly got dressed and soon joined Ben and Hoss downstairs.
As soon as they had their horses saddled, it was getting daylight. Hop Sing quickly went to make some chicken broth for Little Joe, for he had also believed what Ben had told him about his dream.
The Cartwrights had brought along several warm blankets with them for Little Joe. They had thought about taking the buckboard, but it was much faster on horseback.
It took them almost two hours to reach the site that Marie had told Ben where Little Joe was. They rushed over to the large pile of pine branches and they quickly, but very carefully began to take the branches off the pile.
It didn't take them too long to remove all the branches, when they saw Little Joe laying there very still indeed.
" Little Joe, baby, your safe now sweetheart," Ben cried as he touch his unconscious son. He was shocked at how cold the boy was, and he was very relieved to feel the weak pulse on the boy's neck.
Adam and Hoss quickly cut through the ropes that held their little brother. " Pa...I...I'm sorry I didn't believe you," Adam cried as he looked at his baby brother. " It's alright son," Ben lovingly said.
Once the ropes were off the boy, Adam very gently moved the boy's arms to his sides and they gently turned Little Joe over onto his back.
" Oh Pa, he's so cold !" Hoss cried as he and Adam laid a blanket on the ground. Ben picked up his son and laid him on the blanket and soon they had the boy covered with several blankets. Ben was shocked at how little, Little Joe seemed to weigh, and the boy didn't weigh much to begin with.
Ben quickly got on Buck so Adam could hand Little Joe up to him, so he could hold his son in his arms.
" Adam, please hurry and get Paul to come out to the ranch fast. Hoss, Let's get your little brother home," Ben suggested.
As soon as they had Little Joe bathed and tucked into his bed, Ben and Hoss pleaded with the boy to please open his eyes, but the youngster didn't respond at all. Ben and Hoss were in tears as they continued to plead with the boy to open his eyes.
Hop Sing hurried into the room with a baby bottle in his hands that had chicken broth in it. " You sit boy up and give him bottle. He need badly," Hop Sing suggested as he looked at the boy that he loved very much.
Ben sat Little Joe up and he got behind his son and he leaned the boy back against him. Once he was ready, Hop Sing stuck the nipple of the bottle in the boy's mouth.
Even though Little Joe was still unconscious and so very weak, natural instinct took over and the boy began to slowly suck on the nipple and he started to swallow the broth.
Surprised, Hoss excitedly said, " He's swallowing the broth !" " He sure is son," Ben replied as he was crying as was Hoss and Hop Sing.
Every few seconds, Little Joe would stop swallowing and take a deep breath, then he would begin to swallow the much needed nourishment that his body craved so badly.
After several minutes Little Joe had drank all the broth, much to the delight of Ben, Hoss and Hop Sing.
" He need another bottle in couple of hours. Have lots of bottles. We do this with water too," Hop Sing suggested.
" Thank you so much Hop Sing," Ben said as he gently laid Little Joe back down on his bed, and Ben covered up his son.
An hour later, Adam and Dr. Paul Martin rushed into the room. " Ben," Paul said. " Oh Paul, thank God you are here. We got him to take a bottle with some chicken broth in it," Ben happily and excitedly said.
" That is wonderful. Has he been awake at all since you brought him home?" Paul asked. Sadly, Ben replied, " No, no he hasn't."
After Paul had finished examining Little Joe, he looked up at the boy's family and Hop Sing, who had all refused to leave the room.
" Paul, please, tell me, how is my baby?" Ben nervously asked as he didn't take his eyes off of Little Joe.
" Ben, boys, Hop Sing, I'm not going to lie to you, but we have a real battle on our hands trying to keep this boy alive. He is extremely weak, he's on the verge of pneumonia, and he is also suffering from exposure too. He has a fever as I'm sure you know, but thank God it isn't too high."
" He also has a concussion, but luckly it isn't a bad one. This boy needs food badly. He will need to be fed every two hours and hopefully he will continue to take the bottle as he already has."
" Be sure to give him water as well. Keep him warm, and he's not to be left alone at all. Talk to him and let him know he is safely back home, and that you love him. I tell you Ben, I'm very concerned about him."
" This boy has been through hell, being held the way he was. I just can't imagine what the boy has been thinking. To be left alone to die like that, and knowing that too, must have been awful for him. No one should ever have to go through something like that. We can all thank God for giving Little Joe the strength to fight to live the way he did, and for Marie to come to you Ben in your dream," Paul finally finished.
No one said anything, as their tears said it all.
Just as Paul had said, Little Joe was given the bottle every couple of hours and he drank all the broth and water that he was given.
Three days later as Ben was dozing in the chair that was next to Little Joe's bed, Little Joe slowly opened his eyes, and he looked around his room, and he saw Ben dozing in the chair, and he smiled a tiny smile.
" Papa, Papa," the boy whispered. As soon as Ben heard his son's very weak whisper, he opened his eyes and he saw his son looking at him.
Ben quickly got up and sat down on the bed. " Little Joe. Hi sweetheart. It's about time you opened your eyes baby. How do you feel?" Ben asked as he now was holding the boy in his arms and he cried.
Little Joe was crying too, and he replied very softly, " I'm so tired Papa. How long have I been here? How did ya find me?"
" We found you three days ago. Believe it or not, but your mama came to me in a dream and she told me where to find you, and we did find you baby," Ben replied as he kissed his son's forehead.
" Mama held me Papa, and she told me that I couldn't stay with her yet. She kept me warm and safe Papa. I love her so much. I wish she could come back ta us again," Little Joe cried as he enjoyed being in Ben's loving arms again. He didn't think that he would ever be held in those loving arms ever again.
Ben's heart was melting at being called ' Papa ' again. It had been several years since Little Joe had called him that, and he had missed it very much.
Ben continued to hold his son tighly in his arms. He didn't want to let go for anything. Both father and son kept telling each other how much they loved each other.
" Papa, I missed you, Adam, Hoss and Hop Sing so much. I was so scared. I kept praying to God not to let me die, and I guess he listened to me," Little Joe told Ben.
" Yes, he did listen to you sweetheart," Ben cried happily as he again thanked God for giving him back his son.
A few minutes later, Adam and Hoss walked into the room and they were so thankful to see their little brother awake.
" Hey little brother, it is so wonderful to see you wake. Oh Punkin, I can't tell ya how much I have missed you. We have all missed you so much. It just isn' the same around here without you Punkin. I love you so much baby brother," Hoss cried as he touched his little brother's face.
" Hi little buddy. How do you feel?" Adam asked as he had tears running down his face too. " I'm so tired and happy ta be home again," Little Joe replied as he was now yawning non-stop.
As much as the family wanted to hear about what had happened to him, they knew the boy needed to sleep, but first Ben had spoon fed him some broth. Then Little Joe fell into a deep relaxing sleep.
Later that day, Little Joe told his family and Hop Sing about everything that had happened to him. They were all so angry at what Rocky and Spence had done to Little Joe, that they were glad that the two men were dead.
As the days went by, Little Joe very slowly began to regain his strength, and he slept most of the time. Luckily, he didn't come down with pneumonia, but he did have a very bad cold. He had nightmares almost every night as well.
Paul kept telling Little Joe to keep talking about his ordeal, and his dreams because it would help in his recovery. Even though it would be hard to talk about, Little Joe did find that it did help to talk about what had happened to him.
It took a good two months for Little Joe to gain back all of his strength, and about that long for his nightmares to fully go away. Little Joe was so relieved to be able to sleep through an entire without nightmares, which improved his attitude greatly, and that made his family and Hop Sing very happy to see.
Little Joe was now back to normal once again, getting into mischief and just plain enjoying life aagin.
The End