Homework
By: Lynne G.
" I HATE homework ! I just can't figure out why Old Jonesy
has ta give homework fer in the first place. After all, we DO stupid school
work ALL day long in school, so WHY do we gotta do it at home too ? Why
oh why ?"
" I tried ta tell her that I got LOTS and LOTS of chores ta do before
school and again after school and I dun't have time fer homework. Heck I
know she ain't got no homework ta do after school."
" I also told her that it takes almost two hours ta ride ta school
every morning and another two hours ta ride home after school again, and
then with so MANY chores ta do, there ain't NO time fer homework. Heck,
what's she want me ta do-homework all night long ?"
" Golly gee, a kid like me needs ta sleep too ya know, but Old Jonesy
dun't care ! Oh no she sure dun't ! Ya know, I bet she wouldn't if'n care
I passed out at school from bein' over worked and not gettin' no sleep !"
" I think I'm smart 'nough ! Why do I need ta know all that mushy stuff
that Old Shake writes-huh ? That stuff is so AWFUL ! Can't figure out why
Old Jonesy, girls and my oldest brother, Adam love that stuff fer anyway.
' Sides girls are yucky anyway !"
" I dun't plan ta write stuff like that, so why do I gotta learn it
fer, huh ?"
" Now when it comes ta spelling, I DO know how ta spell words-well
most words, 'cept some of them REALLY long hard words. So I dun figured
that if'n I dun't say them words then why do I gotta learn ta spell em fer
? Sure makes sense ta me !"
" I know how ta add, subtract and multiply numbers so why do I gotta
learn more 'rithmetic ? Now dun't get me started on fractions either. Geez,
I know when sumpthin's half full er not so full. All ya gotta do is look
and see fer yerself. Heck, I ain't stupid ya know !"
" I ain't told no one this before, but I get nightmares 'bout fractions.
Yup I really do and it is scary ! Have ya ever been attacked by fractions
? I do when I'm gettin sick, them fractions attack me. They are so nasty
ta scare a little kid like me."
" Back ta words again. Now I think it is really stupid that lots of
words sound alike but are spelled different. That makes NO sense at all.
Who came up with that dingy idea ?"
" Words like this : Red and read or read. It should be spelled like
reed, but then there is a word for a stick thingy called a reed that if'n
ya wanna swim under water and sneak up on someone like an older brother,
all ya gotta do is put that reed thingy in yer mouth and ya can breathe
underwater. How neat is that ? Ya see, it is hollow on the inside of that
reed thingy."
" Then there is berry and bury, and many more, but I am proud ta say
that I know em all, so why do we gotta keep learnin' em in school. I think
I know why, and that is cuz Old Jonesy keep fergettin' em, so that's why
we gotta keep doin' em !"
" I think I'm smarter than Old Jonesy, cuz I know how ta deliver foals,
calves, other baby animals, rope cows, horses, hunt, fish and clean fish,
set rabbit snares and skin rabbits too !"
" Can't ya just see Old Jonesy tryin' ta do all that ! Heck, I bet
she dun't even know how ta gut a fish er rabbits er even put an big old
juicy worm on a hook. She probably can't even build a campfire either."
" Hummm, I really think I should teach her how ta do all that stuff,
but then she would most likely pass out at the first sight of fish and rabbit
guts !"
" Heck, she probably can't even saddle a horse er hutch up horses ta
a buckboard er buggy either. I am so thankful I'm a boy and not a girl er
lady cuz they dun't know how ta have fun !"
" I know how ta speak Chinese and I know she can't cuz one day I told
her in Chinese that I HATE school and homework ! She just looked at me with
a goofy look on her scary face and she asked me what I said."
" Of course I wasn't gonna tell her what I really said now would I
? So I told her that it was a pretty day outside. She liked that and she
smiled at me and she said that she didn't know that I could speak Chinese.
See, I am smarter than her !"
" I also told her that Hop Sing dun taught me how ta speak Chinese
when I was just a little kid, but then she told me that I was still a little
boy. I dun't like ta hear that ! I am a BIG BOY cuz I have ta go ta school
!"
" The only subject in school that I like is history. Now that stuff
is really interestin', 'specially all them big battles. Adam has some books
'bout all them big battles. They take place all over the world and many
of em happen in Europe and of course we have indian battles out here."
" Even though I love ta read 'bout all them battles, they sound really
scary and I dun't think I wanna be in one. Heck I could get hurt er even
killed and that wouldn't be fun at all !"
" I also love ta read 'bout famous people who was in all them battles
er even people who rule countries er even dicovered new places. Maybe one
day I can discover sumpthin' new."
" I dun't like ta read 'bout them guys who write all that mushy stuff
like Old Shake writes or the guys who write all those dumb poems. I know
I should say Old Shakes name correctly like big brother keeps tellin' me.
Ok after all, his name is William Shakespeare. There I said it !"
" I love ta call him Old Shake cuz it sounds funny, but like I said,
big brother and Old Jonesy dun't like it when I call him that. Heck, they
ain't got no sense of humor at all !"
" I wanted ta go fishin' after school taday, but on no I had ta stay
in my room and do AWFUL HOMEWORK ! Life just ain't fair ta us poor OVER
WORKED little kids who can't have NO FUN cuz of HOMEWORK ! YUCK !
The End