HONEYMOON AND ARGUMENTS part 2

by Lyn Robinson

Carole looked where he indicated, at the bearded young man standing looking very out of place and lost across the street. Tentatively she said “It looks rather like him but it can’t be. Joe doesn’t have a beard.”

It wasn’t the beard that was throwing Adam, it was the lack of life in the man’s whole form, so unlike his little brother. Even so, and with only a side view, Adam knew that it was Joe. Adam shook his head “I don’t know what’s happened or why he’s here but that’s my little brother and by the look of him something is terribly wrong. Come on.” He took his wife’s arm and hurried her across the busy street.

Little Joe had his back to them and was debating where to go for information on the King’s. He was vaguely looking for the telegraph office when he heard his name, as Adam called to him. He turned and saw Adam and Carole a few yards away. Adam was thoroughly shocked by his brother, he had sensed the despair in the way Joe was standing but he had never seen it etched so deep on Joe’s face. He looked at Carole who said "There’s a spare room next to ours with my brother away, you’d better bring him home.”

Adam nodded and moved closer to his brother, who still hadn’t moved. Adam could see his brother was close to collapse. As he took Joe’s arm the contact seemed to break Joe from his trance “I’m so sorry Adam, Carole I know I shouldn’t have intruded on your honeymoon but I had to talk to Adam. I had to.”

Carol moved close to him and kissed his cheek “It’s alright Joe you are very welcome. Come to my parents you look as though you could do with some food.”

Joe looked down at her, licking dry lips, but he couldn’t find the words to answer her. Adam could feel his brother trembling, as he relaxed fractionally having reached his brother and he slipped his arm round Joe’s waist to support him “We’ll talk later little brother, lets get you in the warm. You’re frozen.” Joe lent heavily on his big brother as Adam led him down the street. He had need of his brother’s support as the whole scene seemed to go into a blur in front of him.

Luckily they didn’t have very far to go and after a close look at Joe, Adam had sent Carole ahead to warn her parents and get some hot coffee and brandy ready for Joe. Her parents were just about to go out and Carole told them to go ahead, sensing that Joe needed to be alone with his brother.

Adam brought Joe in and took him straight over to the fire. Joe had relaxed now he’d reached Adam and he felt frozen and he couldn’t stop trembling. He had come all that way to talk to his brother and now he had reached Adam he couldn’t talk, relaxing his physical weakness was taking over. Adam was very worried, he knew that something must be seriously wrong to have brought Joe all that way and anyway he could have seen it on Joe’s face, but he couldn’t imagine what had happened in the few short weeks that he had been out of touch. Adam brought coffee and brandy over to his brother but Joe was shaking too much to hold the cup and so Adam sat down on the arm of Joe’s chair and slowly fed his brother the hot drink. After a few minutes the brandy and his brother’s closeness had effect and Joe stopped shaking so badly. Adam had asked his wife to organise a hot bath and a warm bed for his brother and as she went out Joe looked up at his brother and tried again to apologise for intruding. Adam shushed him gently “Just a couple of questions Joe. Are Pa and Hoss alright?”

Little Joe buried his face in his hand and Adam felt an icy grip on his heart as he strained to hear “I’m not sure Adam I think Pa has a broken leg.”

Even more puzzled Adam asked, “Do they know where you are?”

Little Joe shook his head but he was trembling again and Adam noticed that and changed the subject “Are you hungry Joe?”

Little Joe looked up at his brother “No.”

“When did you last eat Joe?”

Joe lent back staring at the ceiling “I don’t remember.” Adam realised that his little brother was on the edge of complete collapse and stopped trying to question him. He stroked Joe’s hair back off his forehead and slid his hand round the back of Joe’s neck, slowly circling his thumb in a comforting gesture that Ben had used with all of them all their lives, and slowly Joe’s trembling eased again. Carole put her head round the door “The bath is ready Adam.”

Adam risked leaving his brother for a couple of minutes and went over to her “I don’t know what is wrong but I don’t think he’s eaten in days, he’s close to collapse. Can you cook up some broth for him?”

“Of course my love.”

Adam went on “Before you do that will you go down to the telegraph office, send Hoss a wire just to say the Joe is safe here with me and will come home with us and that I’ll wire again once I’ve had a chance to talk to Joe.”

“What has happened?”

Adam shook his head and sighed, “I have absolutely no idea but he says Pa and Hoss don’t know where he is and they are bound to be worried. He’s not in a state to explain at the moment.”

As Carole left, Adam went back into his brother “Come on Little Joe, you’ll feel better after a bath.” Joe allowed his brother to help him upstairs and he got undressed and sunk into the warm water. As the heat of the bath sunk into him he stopped trembling and looked up at Adam “I’m sorry.”

Adam smiled at him “It’s okay Little Joe we’ll have a long talk when you have eaten and had a sleep, just try and relax for now.” Joe gripped his brother’s hand and closed his eyes. Adam didn’t dare leave his brother scared that Joe would fall asleep, but after a while he persuaded Joe to get out of the bath and helped him get dry and then put on Adam’s own night-shirt. Adam tucked his little brother up in the bed and as Carole brought in some broth Adam persuaded Joe to eat about half of it. Then Joe pushed it away. It was too long since he had eaten and he couldn’t take anymore. Joe slid back down the bed and as the room went round he shut his eyes, lack of sleep caught up with him and he slipped into sleep. Adam sat by his brother for over an hour and then Carole came in “I’ll sit with him for a while my love. You ought to get some food.”

“I’m not hungry but if you’ll stay with him I’ll go and buy him some clothes, he doesn’t seem to have brought any luggage with him. I won’t be long.”

“Take as long as you need, by the look of him he’ll sleep the clock round.”

Adam stared down at his little brother, even in sleep, he looked strained and worried “I’ve never seen Joe so despairing, whatever has happened in the past. Even now while he’s asleep he looks.” Adam’s voice trailed off in a sigh.

Carole gripped his arm “You won’t help Joe by getting yourself upset darling.”

Adam kissed her gently “I know. I’ll do something productive and get him some clothes.”

As Adam went down town, he soon realised, from the looks that were given him and, from the way conversation ceased, as he appeared, that Joe’s arrival had been noted and was the subject of much speculation. Adam managed to buy a decent suit and some shirts and accessories for his brother and then returned to the Kings’ house. Nobody had the nerve to approach him and ask for actual information, although everyone seemed to have seen Joe’s arrival and Adam leading him home. When he got back Adam found that Carole’s parent had returned home. They had been subjected to a continuous barrage of questions the whole time they had been out. Joe’s appearance had stunned the town, not used to guns being worn on the street and his fellow passengers on the stage were making the most of their terrifying journey with a wild western killer. Mrs King in particular was furious; they had had enough comment from relatives and neighbours on the first news of Carole’s marriage. Adam’s appearance had dispelled that, but now Joe’s arrival had started it up al over again. Both of them tried to avoid letting Adam know how they felt but he knew full well the effect of Joe’s arrival. Adam said, “I’m sorry my brother arrived like this but he’s not exactly thinking straight.”

Mr King said, “Your brother is welcome in this house Adam.”

“Thank you Sir and I’ll guarantee that before he leaves town he will demonstrate that the rest of the Cartwrights aren’t illiterate yokels either.”

Mrs King smiled at him “We would be grateful Adam but Carole said that he is ill.”

Adam bit his lip “I don’t know what has happened to bring him all this way, but whatever it was, he seems to have travelled for a fortnight without any proper food and with insufficient sleep. He’ll be fine after a long sleep some food and a chance to talk.”

She said, “I hope you’re right, but don’t hesitate to ask for anything you need for him.”

Adam thanked her and then headed upstairs to his brother. Joe hadn’t moved and Adam was fairly sure that he would sleep until morning. Eventually Carole persuaded Adam to come to bed, leaving both their door and Joe’s open he would hear if his brother needed him. Adam gave way and joined her in bed, but he couldn’t sleep as he tried to work out what on earth could be wrong.

In Virginia City the telegraph operator had heard all the rumours about Joe and knew that Ben was stuck in bed, so he decided Adam’s telegram counted as urgent. He called one of the young boys over and told him if he took the telegram out to Hoss at the Ponderosa, Hoss would give him something for the trip.

Hoss was finding it increasingly difficult to rouse his father from the lethargy he had sunk into. It was more than two weeks since Joe had left and they had had no word. Ben wasn’t eating and he wasn’t sleeping. He roused sufficiently to keep the accounts straight, but even when Hoss was with him, he could barely force himself to speak to his son. Hoss had watched his father age and become an old beaten man under his eyes, and there wasn’t a thing he could do to stop it. Only word from his little brother was going to help. Hoss hated what he saw and spent long hours trying to bring his father out of it with virtually no success. On top of that Hoss was finding the work round the ranch piling up on him despite all his efforts. He wasn’t used to handling the detailed administration, and even with his father dealing with the financial details, Hoss was having to do a great deal of paperwork which he detested. He was working very long hours but even so he found it difficult to sleep, worrying about his father and his young brother. The strain was beginning to tell and his normally equable temper was showing distinct signs of fraying. Hoss was sitting at the desk that evening trying to make sense of some notes sent down from the lumber camp and wishing Adam was at home. He had just given up the fight to persuade his father to eat and his only consolation was that his father’s injuries were healing well, according to Doc who had been out that day. Hoss cursed softly when he heard the knock on the door, lately every visitor seemed to bring fresh trouble, Easing himself tiredly to his feet Hoss went over to the door and was surprised to see Billy, a twelve year old from town.

Billy held out the telegram “I brought this out Hoss, they reckoned it was urgent.” Hoss tore it open, not even knowing that he was holding his breath, as he took in the contents he gave a great sigh of relief. He felt in his pocket and got out a dollar “Thanks Billy. No answer just yet so you get back to town.” As the kid left Hoss went over and poured himself a large brandy and read the telegram again.

Then Hoss headed up to his father. Ben was just lying there staring unseeingly at the ceiling and he didn’t react at all as Hoss came in. Hoss moved swiftly over and gripped his father’s arm “It’s alright Pa, Little Joe is safe.”

That did get a reaction and Ben looked at his big son studying his face intently seeing the huge relief written all over it Hoss went on “I’ve just had a telegram from Adam, he says Joe is safe with him and will come home with them.” For a moment Ben just stared at Hoss and then with a broken sob he buried his face in his hands. Hoss went and poured a large brandy and then lifted his father to lean against him. As he eased Ben up and Ben’s hands fell away Hoss saw his father’s face wet with tears for the first time that he could remember. Wordlessly he fed Ben some brandy, just holding his father close to him. Ben had been so worried and tense that just word that his son was safe and broken the dam and he couldn’t stop the tears. Eventually he began to calm down as his son’s presence and the brandy combined to help.

Hoss smiled “Poor kid he musta been mighty upset and confused to go all that way. If’n he couldn’t come right home best thing he coulda done. Adam will sort him out and bring him back. Ain’t no need to worry about Little Joe now Pa. Do you reckon you could manage something to eat now?”

“Let me see the telegram Hoss.” Ben read it and then looked up worry clear again on his face “If Adam hadn’t talked to Joseph, how does he know that his brother will come home?”

Hoss shook his head as he looked down at his father, “That’s plain foolish Pa. If Joe had wanted to break away from the family he wouldn’t have gone to Adam. Anyways, whatever you say about little brother, you can rely on Adam’s good sense. He’ll know you didn’t mean what you said even if Joe ain’t in a fit state to know.”

Ben pulled himself together “You’re right Hoss and anyway I guess I can send Adam a telegram now we know where Joe is.”

Hoss was relieved when his father managed the first smile he had seen in days, rather watery admittedly, but it was there. “Don’t look so worried Hoss. I’ll be okay now we’ve had news.”

Hoss handed his father a clean hankie “Sure you will Pa.” Then he went downstairs to get Hop Sing to prepare a tray and give his father a chance to get firm control of his emotions. That night both Ben and Hoss slept well for the first time in weeks, secure in their trust in Adam’s ability to sort Little Joe out.

Adam barely slept at all, although he cuddled up next to Carole with their door and Joe’s open, knowing he would hear if his brother woke up. Having spent a fruitless night trying to work out what had gone wrong, Adam gave up and slipped out of bed just before five. He checked his brother but Joe hadn’t stirred and so Adam risked going downstairs to make coffee. He was sitting out on the back porch sipping coffee when Carole joined him, she hadn’t slept well either. Adam pulled her close “I’m sorry if I kept you awake.”

“You didn’t, not really. I’m fond of Joe too.”

Adam pulled her down onto his lap and kissed her soundly “When he finally wakes up I’ll try and persuade him to eat something and then see if he’ll talk. He’ll feel better when he gets it off his chest whatever the trouble is.”

Carol snuggled close to him, hearing his solid heart beat against her, proof that everything would be alright. “My parents will be out all day and I’ll go over to my cousin’s as soon as he wakes up, so you won’t be interrupted.”

Adam kissed her again “I’m very sorry we are being a nuisance but I would be grateful. I’m sorry this interferes with our honey moon my love.” He pulled her slightly away so he could look at her face “But if Joe had to come all this way to me, he must need my help very badly and I’m glad he came.”

Carole smiled and kissed her husband “Darling I can see from his face just how much he needs you and I have always known how close you and your family are. I know how much you love Joe, maybe better than he does. Of course he had to come if he needs your help.”

Adam had always been very grateful for the freedom she gave him to continue to fulfil the obligations to his family and the ranch, bred so deep in him. Now he couldn’t find the words to thank her and just held her very close to him.

It was gone ten when Joe finally opened his eyes and found Adam sitting next to him. Joe felt better for his long sleep and his eyes weren’t quite as bloodshot, the circles under them a little less black. Adam moved over to his brother and sat down on the bed. He smiled down at Joe “I was wondering when you were going to wake up.”

Joe sat up and stared round slowly taking in where he was, all of it new. Adam patted his shoulder “Take it easy little brother. This is Carole’s parents’ house. I’m going downstairs to fix you some food. I promise I won’t be long.”

Joe nodded slowly glad for a few minutes on his own as he tried to get his whirling thoughts in order. He was still sitting there staring around when Adam came back twenty minutes later with a tray. Adam passed the tray to his brother “Come on little brother. You look as though you could do with a square meal. Then we’ll talk.”

Joe bit his lip and finally found his voice “I’m so sorry to intrude Adam but I had to see you.”

Adam slipped his hand round his brother’s neck and squeezed gently “Don’t worry about it Joe, you are very welcome. If you need my help then of course you had to come brother. But for now you need food.”

Joe lent into his brother for a minute and then drank the coffee gratefully. He tried with the food and ate a little, but after a few minutes he was reduced to pushing the food around on his plate.

Adam had sat silently next to his brother; just drinking coffee but he put his cup down. “If you have had all you want, I’ll take the tray down.”

Joe looked up begging for his brother’s understanding “I’m just not hungry Adam, but I could do with some more coffee.”

Adam gently ruffled his brother’s hair “Sure Joe. I’ll go get, you stay put and then we’ll talk.”

Adam came back up with fresh coffee and pulled a chair up close to his brother’s bed “Right Joe. I think its time you told me what this is all about.”

Joe couldn’t look at his brother he turned slightly away from Adam staring at the wall “I’ve done it all wrong Adam I can’t go back to the ranch.” There was along silence and then Joe said “Pa said I’m no longer his son.” His voice broke with a sob and he turned over and buried his face in the pillow, Adam just made out his brother’s statement that he had beaten up their father and then Joe’s voice gave entirely and he broke down. He was sobbing bitterly, the first time he had broken down in his two weeks of hell. Adam was glad to see it; sure that Joe would be much better having released some of the tension so obvious in every line of his brother’s body. It had to happen and Adam sat waiting for Joe’s sobs to ease, just resting his hand on his brother’s shoulder to remind Joe that he was there. As he waited Adam’s brain was racing, wondering what on earth had been going on. He couldn’t imagine his father disowning any of his sons, no matter what they had done, even if they committed murder he would have been beside them all the way to the gallows. Neither could Adam imagine Joe raising a hand to their father, none of them had ever done that in their lives. Knowing that only Joe could explain, Adam waited patiently and when Joe’s sobs lessened in force. He got up and went and poured a large brandy and then gently turned his brother back to face him. He wiped Joe’s face and handed him the brandy. Then Adam sat down on the bed and lifted his brother to lean against his shoulder, his arm round Joe’s shoulder. Joe downed the brandy feeling its warmth spread down through his body and he relaxed back against his brother. Adam tightened his grip slightly “Joe you aren’t making any sense. Try and start at the beginning and tell me exactly what happened. I can’t believe Pa would really disown you. Whatever he said he would have reversed it ten minutes later, because he can’t have meant it. It’s against all his principles.”

Joe said bitterly “I never gave him a chance, ten minutes later he was unconscious and I don’t even remember what I did to him. All I remember is one cry of pain. I heard in town that he was found unconscious as I left and they thought he had a broken leg. I don’t even know what else was wrong.”

Adam sighed slightly and raised his free arm to push the hair back off his brother’s forehead. “Joe there’s not much use starting at the end. If you want my help you must tell what happened from the beginning. Try and calm down little brother, you’ll feel better when you have told me. Where did it start?”

Joe knew that his brother was right, he pulled away and got up, going over to the pitcher and poured out some water and washed his face. Then feeling cold Joe retreated back to the bed, very grateful when Adam put his arm back round his shoulders.

For a moment he buried his face against his brother’s broad chest and then sat up a little leaning heavily against Adam. “It started when I went for a drink having got you to the railway terminus. There was this girl in the saloon, Marie. She’s blonde petite and very lovely. I got talking and I wanted to see her again, so I went back that night, but I didn’t have a chance to talk to her. I told you about the killing over the poker game, well the gambler Harris, who was killed was Marie’s lover and the girls took her off in tears when she realised he was dead.” Joe fell quiet and Adam risked letting go of his brother long enough to pour them both fresh coffees. He had always known that there was more about that evening than Joe had been letting on. Adam didn’t speak just handing his brother the coffee and then settling back on the bed and sliding his arm back round his little brother in mute sympathy. Adam waited patiently leaving Joe to go in is own time and eventually Joe said, “I couldn’t resist going back into the saloon once I’d seen you off. I found out that she’d been run out of town. The man who killed Harris was that cattle buyer Ellsworth, he ordered her out of town because she’d been Harris’ girl. Plenty of men in town would do Ellsworth bidding and he even blocked the girls from hiring a horse. Scared she had walked out of town, planning on cadging a lift the next day. The girl in the saloon, who told me all about it, didn’t even know which direction she was heading, so much as I wanted to help there was nothing I could do.”

There was quiet in the room for a few minutes as Joe closed his eyes and tried to marshal his thoughts. Eventually he went on “Fate didn’t mean me to get off so easily. I was only a couple of miles outside town when she came out of the bushes. She’d been scared to ask for a lift but she recognised me from the previous day and decided to risk it. She was cold, tired, scared and very upset.” Joe pulled away from Adam and turned to look at his brother. “Adam I felt so sorry for her she looked so fragile and scared, all I wanted to do was look after her. But she has a real tough shell that she hides behind. Luckily I realised that and I went slowly. I felt like taking her in my arms but all I could do was feed her. She wanted a lift and Virginia City is full of saloons so she said that would be fine, she’d be able to get a job. It’s a long journey and we talked. She had come west as a kid then her mother died and her father dragged her round mining camps until she was fourteen. Then he died, she’s illiterate, can just manage to sign her own name and couldn’t even sow a hem so she had no choice. She had to go into the saloons, it’s not much of a life.” Joe pulled away and lent forward needing to see his brother’s face “Adam I don’t know what she did to me, I’ve never felt like this before. Even that first night I sat by her as she slept and wondered how I was going to explain to Pa. All she would accept from me was help to get a job. I persuaded Don McBride to take her on, if she had to work in a saloon that was the best one.”

Adam nodded understandingly and squeezed Joe’s neck affectionately. To his surprise Joe lent back turning away slightly from his brother “When I got home Pa wanted to know how you were and then Hoss arrived and he asked the same questions. Then he brought up some problem at the lumber camp. It wasn’t until I went up to bed that I suddenly realised that I hadn’t mentioned Marie to Pa. I hadn’t set out to deceive him but I guess I was so confused about her I used any excuse to avoid talking. By then it seemed too late to tell him without making a big thing of it so I thought I’d wait for a chance to arise and somehow it never did.” Joe sighed heavily but he couldn’t face his brother knowing what else he had to tell him. Adam waited patiently and eventually Joe went on "I avoided going into town for several days but I couldn’t get her out of my mind, everywhere I looked I saw her. I knew Pa wouldn’t like my getting involved with her and I couldn’t see how an illiterate saloon girl could fit in with the rest of the family. She is so different from Carole, a world apart. I was so confused and irritable took it out on Hoss like always, bit his head off for no reason. Then on Saturday I headed into town with Hoss for the dance. Somehow I never made the dance I spent the whole evening in the Bucket O’Blood just talking to her. She was free during Sunday so I persuaded her to go for a ride with me and decided to stay in town overnight. Like a fool I never even thought of telling Hoss, just took Cochise to the stable. I only had one idea in my mind, one thought, Marie.” He bit his finger “I don’t know Adam. I thought I’d been in love before but this was so different, noone else ever dominated my thoughts and dreams like she does, even now. She filled me with such a strong urge to protect her, take her away from all the squalor of the saloons and let her know some of the good things in life. She has such an aura of innocence. I know she lived with Harris for three years but it doesn’t make any difference. I did fight against falling in love with her because I knew it was gonna cause trouble with Pa, but I couldn’t help myself.” Joe rubbed his hand across his aching eyes “Marie told me that I was living in a fool’s paradise that she could never fit in with the Cartwrights and that I ought to back out before it was too late and we got hurt. I told her then that it was too late, somehow it always had been since I saw her walk down those stairs in the saloon.”

Adam was surprised as he felt his brother tense against him. Joe found it hard to go on but one thing Adam had said stuck, he had to talk, get it off his chest. He forced himself to go on staring away from Adam “Anyway when I got home from town on Sunday, Hoss had been in town looking for me and learnt about Marie. Pa threw it in my face as soon as I walked in and I was furious, because they’d been checking up on me and also I guess because I knew I was in the wrong. I blew up and went upstairs but I was hungry. I came down for food and Hoss kept the peace until after the meal and then Pa told me to grow up.” Joe shrugged “I don’t even know why, but it was the last straw and I lost my temper. I don’t know why I did it Adam. I was sorta standing outside myself watching and not liking what I saw but I couldn’t stop it. I turned on Pa told him to stop treating me like a child. I pointed out that I hadn’t set out to deceive him but he’d only been interested in you and that it was always the same. He never questioned you, everything you did was right, that I thought you were the only son he cared about and I was surprised he had even noticed I wasn’t there. I don’t know why I said it Adam. I saw Pa sink white faced and stunned into a chair and I ran upstairs again before I made matters even worse. The picture of him sitting there so hurt and shocked has haunted me all the way here.” Joe broke off and buried his face in his hands, unable to face his brother. Adam reached out for the brandy and poured one and expertly fed it to his little brother. Joe risked a look at his brother and what he saw reassured him; there was just compassion on Adam’s face, no withdrawal. Joe swallowed hard “I didn’t mean it Adam so why the hell did I say it. I was just lashing out wanting to hurt and I didn’t like myself at all. I know Pa loves each of us equally.”

Adam smiled gently, thinking of all the times his father had cross questioned him and driven him into a fury when his little brother seemed to get away with murder, but now didn’t seem the time to bring that up, so he reached for another memory. “Easy little brother. Remember how Hoss lashed out at me when we had to show him that that woman was a gambler? We said then that something had to give. Hoss resorts to physical release of tension, you lashed out verbally. It doesn’t mean anything.”

Joe finally allowed himself to meet his brother’s gaze and relaxed a little at the warm affection and understanding that he saw there. Adam poured them both fresh coffee and for a while the brothers sat in silence with Adam allowing Joe to take his time. Eventually Joe went on “That was the start of tension between me and Pa. I did apologise the next day but I couldn’t talk to him about Marie. Then he had to go to Sacramento. He was gone a week and every night I made it into town I just had to see her. At the end of that week I was sure whatever trouble it caused I wanted to marry her. Things drifted on for another two weeks and I sorta had Marie’s agreement to marry me, provided my family agreed. Hoss was taking the horses south to the army and I decided to talk to Pa that evening when we wouldn’t be interrupted. I thought I could convince him that this was right for me, make him see that I loved her and that when I was with her I never thought of her as an illiterate saloon girl. Show him that she was different and that given a chance she could become a daughter-in-law he could be proud of. I was sure I could convince him and when he knew just how much I loved her, he’d be glad for me, and withdraw his opposition. But somehow it didn’t work out like that.” Joe’s voice faded away as he visualised that final scene with his father. Adam gave him a moment but sensed that his brother was quite oblivious of his presence. He gripped his brother’s arm “Little Joe it won’t haunt you when you have told me about it. You’ve got to get it off your chest.”

Joe nodded but he rolled away from his brother unable to look at him and his voice was so low that Adam had to strain to hear. Adam just gripped his brother’s shoulder firmly and waited. Slowly Joe told him exactly what had passed between him and their father culminating in Ben’s statement that if he went out of the door he was no longer a son of his and his own answer “Don’t bother to write.” Joe swallowed hard “Pa put his hand on my arm and said “Joseph" and I remember brushing him aside but that’s all I remember, I don’t know what I did to him I heard him cry out but I thought it was just anger and I rode out. It wasn’t until much later that I realised it was a cry of pain I rode out on him when he was hurt, even worse than that I hurt him I don’t remember, I don’t even know how bad it was. I didn’t mean it but it happened. Story of my life I never think things through end up hurting everyone.” Joe fell silent but Adam somehow knew that his brother hadn’t finished yet. Adam contented himself with gently rubbing Joe’s back as he had when his brother was a child and felt him relax slightly. Joe went on eventually “I headed in to town to persuade Marie to come away with me, go north, maybe Canada and build a life for ourselves. She could see that there had been trouble and I told her that she didn’t need to worry about my family anymore, it was just me, She’d always been scared of you, my clever brother, she could never fit in with that. She just sat for a while and then she said she wasn’t marrying me. I should go home to my father.” The bitterness was very evident in his voice as Joe went on It was one thing to marry Joe Cartwright of the Ponderosa but plain Joe Cartwright, thirty a month cowboy without even a job, was no catch. She wasn’t interested, I should go home.” Joe buried his face in his hands “I couldn’t go home Adam I couldn’t face Pa and tell him he’d been right, that all she wanted was my money. I wanted to get away to have time to think. Mr Harris was working late so I went over to persuade him to let me have my personal cash. As I went out two men Pa fired for setting traps stopped me and congratulated me on breaking away from Pa. They had heard how I’d beaten Pa up, even breaking his leg. Hop Sing has found him unconscious on the floor as I rode out. I saw Doc with Red in our buggy. That was the last straw I got my money and fled. Eventually I made a fire and sat by it. I couldn’t think straight but suddenly as I tried to face the idea of life away from the Ponderosa, I realised how you must have felt when you left for England. I knew then that I had to come and see you. I had to talk to someone and you would understand, so I came here.” Joe sighed closing his eyes “I think that’s everything.” With that he buried his head in the pillow and wouldn’t look at his brother.

Adam resumed his gentle rubbing on Joe’s back and slowly felt his brother relax a little under his hand. He no longer wondered at the state Joe was in, when he arrived. Adam could imagine the two weeks his brother had spent after all those knocks in one evening. Adam didn’t speak wanting time to think to find out how best to help his brother. Slowly Joe got a grip on himself feeling somewhat better for telling his brother everything, without Adam withdrawing from him. After a few minutes he sat up and faced Adam “I don’t know what I expected you to do Adam but I had to talk and you were the only person I could face talking to.”

Adam gripped his neck gently “I don’t really know how to help Joe, except that I’ll guarantee Pa is feeling as bad as you are, and that he wants you home. If you can think straight for few minutes, you will know that as well as I do. I’ll clear up any trouble with Pa but I don’t think I’ll need to. When you get home he’ll welcome you with open arms, no questions asked.”

Little Joe looked up at that his eyes burning intense “Do you really believe that Adam? I want to go home so much, even though I hurt him?”

Adam smiled at his brother “I’m very sure Joe. You know Pa as well as I do. He loves you far too much to want you to go, whatever you’ve done. Unless I miss my guess you didn’t hurt him anyway, I’d guess he was already hurt and that’s why he flew off the handle. I know he has a temper and says things in it that he doesn’t mean, just like all of us, but to go as far as he did, there had to be a reason. Maybe pain and weakness combined with temper would explain it.”

Joe looked up with dawning hope “You really think that Adam?”

“Joe you don’t remember doing anything and none of us have ever lifted a hand against Pa. I just can’t imagine it. Even if you did, he’s far bigger than you are, just how could you have broken his leg? You’ll come home with us in four days time.” Joe didn’t answer thinking what his brother had said, he was very used to trusting Adam to read the truth out of a situation and he just prayed that Adam was right this time too.

Adam decided that it was time for a break, Joe had had all he could take for the moment. He grinned at his brother “That’s quite a beard Joe but I don’t think it really suits you.”

Joe rubbed his hand over it “It itches somewhat I must admit.”

“You’d better borrow my razor, but make sure you sharpen it when you have finished. He gestured over to the chair in the corner “I bought you some clothes yesterday you have caused quite enough comment wandering around New England with a gun on your hip!”

Joe suddenly grinned, for the first time in weeks, “I never thought of that. No wonder I got such odd looks on the stage.”

Adam grinned back “I hear they were terrified and are now busily dining out on the story! I’ll go and cook up a couple of steaks for lunch. Join me in the kitchen, at the back on the ground floor, when you’re ready. Joe nodded and Adam went out, collected his shaving gear and some hot water and passed them over to his brother.

Joe sat on the bed looking at the clothes his brother had bought. Adam hadn’t said a lot but Joe believed in his promise to clear things up with their father and he began to relax a little maybe he hadn’t hurt his father after all. Either way he felt very much better for talking and for his brother’s support, for the first time in weeks he felt as though he hadn’t irrevocably ruined his life that night. After a while Joe realised he was getting cold and he got up and began to shave. It took quite a while to get rid of the fortnights growth but Joe felt more himself once it was done.

Adam had food ready when his brother joined him. Joe looked more like himself, but he was still gaunt and tired. Adam passed Joe a steak with all the trimmings, about the only thing he could cook as his brothers had often told him. Joe, having talked things out as far as he had, finally felt hungry and set to with a will. Adam sat opposite eating his own “Did you eat anything on the way here Joe?”

“I don’t really remember, the odd sandwich and countless cups of coffee I think. I couldn’t face food.”

Adam shook his head and sighed “No wonder you look like a skeleton, short of sleep too I’d guess. Still four days of good food and rest and we will have you back to normal.” Joe slid back into his thoughts as he sat back with coffee and Adam left him alone while he tidied up.

Joe sat up suddenly, “Where’s Carole?”
Adam smiled “She knew I wanted to talk to you so she went to visit with her cousin. I said I’d pick her up later.”

“I owe her an apology.”

“You did nothing but apologise when you got here. Carole said she was very fond of you and if you thought I could help you, then you had every right to come.”

Joe nodded; not really surprised he had come to know Carole very well as she nursed him earlier in the summer. He knew just how generous she was, but even so he would get her alone and tell her how grateful he was. “All the same, do you think her cousin would let a wild westerner in, if he left off his gun? It strikes me I’d better do something to re-establish the Cartwright reputation in this town. After all you’re the only one they have seen so far.”

Adam grinned broadly, at least his little brother was recovered enough to be cheeky. He could still see the pain in Joe’s eyes but at least Joe was now wearing a mask to hide the naked pain, which had been on his face when he first arrived. “If you are sure you feel up to it, I’ll risk my reputation by introducing my young brother.”

“Lead on.”

Adam would have preferred Joe to get some more rest, but it Joe felt up to being sociable, then it would be better than sitting around brooding.

Carole had found several people at her cousin’s and the one topic of discussion before her arrival had been the wild westerner. They avoided it when she first arrived but after a while curiosity overcame them and one of her old friends risked a question “Who was he?”

Carole explained that it was her youngest brother-in-law. There had been some trouble and he had had to come and see his brother. It had all been rather a rush and he hadn’t had time to pack more suitable clothes. That was the way they dressed in Nevada and he’d had so much on his mind he’d forgotten to take his gun off. He was so used to wearing it, but he really was quite harmless. Carole found herself having to answer lots of questions, which gradually became broader, about Nevada itself. She was quite glad when it got to lunchtime and the questions eased slightly while they ate.

Soon after they had finished lunch her cousin went to answer the door and brought Adam and Joe in. Carole was surprised to see Little Joe and she thought he still looked ill but the clothes Adam had bought were very smart. Joe was unrecognisable as the bearded dishevelled young man who had arrived on the stage yesterday. Joe went straight over to Carole and gave her a kiss on the cheek “I’m sorry to intrude on your honeymoon Carole, but I’m glad I came.”

Carole linked arms with him “You’re welcome Joe, I’m glad to see you looking better, a beard doesn’t suit you. Come on I’d like to introduce you to some of my friends. Little Joe exerted himself to make a good impression and after a while Carole gravitated to her husband “He looks a lot more cheerful than yesterday but he still looks ill.”

“I’ll explain later my love, it’s mainly lack of food and sleep. He’ll be fine.”

They stayed for about an hour and then Adam decided his little brother was beginning to look drawn and had had enough so he signalled Carole and they made their excuses and went home. Joe looked exhausted and when his brother suggested he have a doze, Joe could only agree. It was a very attractive idea. Adam promised to call him for supper.

As Joe went upstairs, Adam and Carole went out on the back porch and he filled her in on what Joe had told him. He didn’t give any details but told her enough for her to realise why Joe was so upset. When he had finished she said “Are you sure you can clear thing up with your father, if Joe really hurt him?”

“I’m sure and anyway I told Joe I don’t believe he did hurt Pa, it’s the only thing he can’t remember, all he does remember is pushing Pa away, the rest of it seems burnt into his brain. I think Pa was already hurt and that’s why he went of the deep end, it really isn’t like him. Anyway, whatever happened, I am sure Pa will welcome Joe home.”

“Poor Joe hit from all sides, will he be okay?”

“He’s a lot better just from talking it out, not that I can do much except be around when he wants to talk. Once he’s caught up on food and sleep, he’ll be better able to cope.”

Adam woke Joe for dinner and Joe roused enough to be polite to Carole’s parents but otherwise he didn’t want to talk. Joe excused himself he just wanted to stretch his legs and have a walk after all the travelling. Adam and Carole were joining her parents at a concert and when he was satisfied that his brother would be alright on his own, Adam went along. In fact he heard virtually nothing of the concert and Carole was well aware that he might as well have stayed with Joe as he was thinking over what Joe had said. Adam was still trying to think out how best to help. He felt he should be able to do more than just be there if Joe wanted to talk, but apart from making sure Joe ate properly and got some rest there was nothing. Adam was very sure that once he had Joe back on the Ponderosa, with things sorted with their father, his brother would be much better. At the end of the concert Adam roused himself to be sociable but he was hard pressed to discuss the concert, he hadn’t even taken in what was being performed and he had to look to Carole for help.

Eventually they went home, it was past midnight and Adam was exhausted, still low on stamina, but even so he headed straight to check on his brother. Joe was fast asleep and Adam was able to retreat to his own bed and this time get some sleep himself.

Adam was awake very early the next morning and he tried to keep still and not disturb Carole but she heard the difference in his breathing and, awake herself, she nestled closer to him, her head on his shoulder “Are you worried about Joe?”

Adam sighed, “Of course I am. I’ve never seen him so deeply affected. Sure I can clear up the trouble with Pa, heck he doesn’t even need me for that, but I can’t do anything about the girl. He’s got to cope with that on his own. He still loves her very deeply. I think it’s the first time anyone has really got to my little brother. I’ve seen Joe often enough when he thought he was in love, but not like this. From his own account he’s never been hit this hard. In time he’ll pull out of it, he’s got too much pride not to, but it’ll take time,”

“I’ve been thinking about her. Do you think your father was right and she was just after Joe for money?”

Adam shrugged, “Seems like it. I told you what she said to Joe.”

“You may be right. But there’s a completely different way of looking at it. I couldn’t get to sleep last night and I tried putting myself in her place. If it had been you coming to me, disowned and planning to leave the Ponderosa for good. What would I have done? I love you very much you know that and I know you well enough to know that you would never be really happy away from your family and the Ponderosa. If I was an illiterate saloon girl, who was very much in love, I might have found the strength to say go back home. I won’t marry you and throw the rest in to convince you. I’m not saying I’m right but Joe has a very expressive face, and I can imagine how he must have looked after that row. She must have known he wouldn’t be happy until he’d made his peace.”

Adam looked down at Carole “You make a convincing case my love. I’d never thought of it like that.”

Carole kissed him “I just can’t imagine Joe falling that deeply for someone who wasn’t sincere. I know it happens, but Joe’s no fool, and if all she wanted was his money she went a very strange way about it. I would have expected her to marry him and present your father with a fait accompli.”

Adam nodded “He was already offering marriage and I would have thought our reputation in town would have entitled her to assume Pa would give in rapidly.”

“Exactly.”

Adam pulled her close as he thought out what she had said and eventually he relaxed “The only way to find out for certain is to talk to her. If she’s still there I’ll see her and if you prove to be right I’ll do all I can to help them get married; because if you’re right she may well be the right girl for Joe. But until we get home I don’t think we ought to say anything to Joe.”

Carole snuggled up close to him again and changed the subject, talking over their plans for the remaining few days before their honeymoon came to an end.

Back at the Ponderosa Hoss had tried to send a telegram back to Adam from Ben just saying that he would be pleased to see them all home, but unfortunately he found the telegraph lines were down somewhere on the plains and he couldn’t get it through. They were avoiding saying anything much in town or in telegrams, there were already far too many rumours flying around. Ben had always disliked the idea of having his personal family affairs a matter of general discussion, but there was nothing he could do about it. Ben was still very concerned about Joe, hating being on bad terms with any of his sons, but now he knew Adam was with his brother, he managed to pull himself out of his lethargy. He suddenly realised just how much he had left Hoss to cope with and he insisted that Doc let him up in the wheelchair so he could take over the detail of running the ranch. Hoss was very grateful to get help but mainly he was glad to see his father looking more like himself again.

Hoss had found the last two weeks more trying than he would have believed possible. He had had to deal with the detailed running of the ranch, which even with things going smoothly was a big job for one man. On top of that he’d had the ever-present worry about his father and younger brother which had kept him awake at nights. Now Ben was back downstairs and running the paperwork, Hoss had to take a ride round the ranch to check on various operations. He explained to his father, almost apologetically, that he would have to be away at least two days. Ben looked up at his big son, noticing for the first time the marks of worry and tiredness on Hoss’ face. He put out his hand and gripped Hoss’ arm “The last couple of weeks have been very hard on you Hoss and I know I haven’t made it any easier, but I’m okay now. I know that Adam will look after Joe for us and I’m much fitter. I can cope here. You take your time Hoss, you’ve earned some fresh air. Then you can get back for a couple of days before you have to go out with the trail herd.”

Hoss hadn’t dared even think about the herd. José was doing a great job on the roundup and had the trail branding half-complete. But it was one thing to leave the job to him here on the Ponderosa, which he knew so well and where help was forthcoming if it was needed; quite another to ask him to head the trail drive on its 300 mile trek. Hoss had known he ought to go along but hadn’t known whether he dared leave his father for that long. Now he looked at Ben “Will you be alright if I go with the herd Pa? It’ll be at least a three week job and you’ll be on your own until Adam gets home.”

“I’ll be fine Hoss. Hop Sing will look after me and we still have contracts to meet.”

Hoss admitted the necessity but he was still very dubious. Ben shook him gently “I’m alright now Hoss. I admit I’ve needed you around this last couple of weeks but now I’m fine and I won’t sink back into despair I promise.”

Hoss grinned down at his father “Sure Pa you’ll be fine now. Anyway I must go up to the lumber camp. We’ll discuss it again when I get back, see how you feel then.”

Hoss rode up towards the lumber camp soon after, having collected some food from Hop Sing to take along. Hoss decided to treat himself to a break at the Lake before he headed up to the camp. He was very tired but there were a thousand and one things which needed doing and nobody else to do them. Hoss tied Chub up and then walked up to the point. One of the last times he had been there was with Adam, the night before his brother’s wedding. Hoss sat down overlooking the lake and thought about his elder brother. It was almighty quiet with both his brothers away and he would be very glad when they got back. He thought of all the times that Adam had carried the ranch alone, sometimes when they were in trouble as in the spring and mentally saluted his father and brother for the way they did a job he found just about beyond him. He missed Adam, sometimes he had wanted to ask his brother’s advice more urgently than he could ever remember, but he couldn’t disturb his brother on his long awaited honeymoon. After half an hour just sitting staring out over the Lake Hoss had to make a real effort to pull himself back to the present and head on to the lumber camp.

Despite Ben’s comments Hoss didn’t want to be away longer than absolutely necessary but he had to pay the men at the camp and the sawmill and over at the mine as well as collecting details of how the work was progressing. He was aiming to get back the following afternoon, but in order to do it he had to complete his business both at the lumber camp and the sawmill that day. It was already late in the afternoon when Hoss rode into the lumber camp. Johnny, who had run the camp when Hoss was injured earlier in the year, came over pleased to see him. Rumours had reached all the hands and he asked how Ben was and whether they had heard from Joe. Hoss smiled. “Pa’s recovering well and Joe’s nearly finished his business back East. He’ll be travelling back with Adam and Carole.”

That statement was received with some surprise. Ben’s talk of business taking Joe away had been taken for what it was, pure cover up, but Hoss was glad to see that his statement had half convinced Johnny that the rumours were nonsense; just as Hoss had hoped. Hoss knew that what he said would quickly pass round and hoped, that when Joe did return with Adam, their talk of business would finally be accepted. Hoss got himself a plate of food and some coffee and then got down to the details of work and paid off the men. It was nearly ten p.m. before he finished but he wouldn’t stay, heading onto the sawmill.

At the sawmill Hoss had to pull Jack Catfish out of his bed and Jack wasn’t any too pleased. However when he looked at Hoss, he could see how desperately tired his friend was, so he swallowed his anger and went and stoked up the fire to heat up coffee. Hoss sat down grateful for the warm drink. It was only just October but he felt the snow in the air, It would soon be falling on the high peaks of the Sierra Nevada. As he sipped the strong black coffee he apologised for disturbing Jack but explained that he still had to go to the mines and didn’t want to leave his father alone for too long. Jack yawned widely “Its alright Hoss by the look of you I’ve done rather better for sleep lately than you have.”

Hoss caught the yawn and rubbed his eyes “I must admit I’ll be heartily grateful when Adam and Joe get back from New York, with Pa laid up, its hard work on my own.”

Jack looked questioningly at Hoss “I knew Adam was back East with his wife, but why is Joe there?”

Hoss yawned again “You know Pa went East on business in the spring. Well some problems came up and with Adam away Pa couldn’t go, so he sent Joe. He wouldn’t disturb Adam on his honeymoon, but he wasn’t reckoning on falling off Buck and breaking his leg. By then it was too late to contact Joe. Still they should be home in a week.” Then having done his best to still the rumours, Hoss turned to business. Jack was well organised and it only took Hoss an hour to get all the information he needed and to make up the pay packets and leave them with Jack. Jack was disgusted when he heard that Hoss proposed to ride up to the mine camp, there and then without stopping for a sleep.

Hoss said, “The moon’s up and I know the trail well.”

Jack shook his head “I know you wanna get home to your Pa but you look exhausted now Hoss. You’ll be no good to anyone, if you don’t get some sleep.” Hoss was adamant, dawn came late and he could be at the camp before the moon went down and he’d get some sleep then. Any of his family would have told Jack that when Hoss looked like that Jack would be wasting his breath to try and argue, but Jack did try. In the end Hoss stood up and clapped his old friend on the shoulder “I know you mean well Jack but I gotta go I’ll see you in a few weeks.” With that he left.

In fact Hoss was very tired and the ride took him longer than he expected. The moon went down when he was still three miles from the mine. Hoss knew the terrain, better than anyone, but it was rough in the pitch dark before sunrise and he wouldn’t risk his horse. Hoss pulled up, unsaddled and, wrapping himself in a blanket, was asleep almost instantly, Hoss had told himself to awake at first light and despite his tiredness he awoke at sunrise only an hour and a half after he had flaked out. He grabbed a drink and washed his face. Having watered Chub, he resaddled and wearily set out on the last stretch to the mine,

The miners were just making breakfast when he rode in and quickly put on more for Hoss. He grabbed coffee and went to sit by the fire. The foreman Swann came over “We were expecting you today but not this early.”

Hoss yawned “I camped on the trail, we are rather busy at the moment.” He sipped his coffee and forced down some food, too tired to really be hungry and then turned the conversation to work. After getting the details he needed for calculating bonuses, Hoss went with Swann to inspect the small loading flume which had been causing trouble, jamming intermittently. Hoss watched one load down and then he spotted what he thought was causing the trouble, a half-sprung plank. He waited until the load had gone down and then reached out to see what needed doing, not realising another load was following down immediately. Swann yelled a warning to Hoss but he was very tired and slow to react. He had his fingers under the planck and couldn’t get his hand out in time. He eventually managed to pull his right hand free and sank to his knees, holding his hand to him. Blood was dripping off it in a steady stream and Swann ran over to the hut and got some bandages, ordering one of the men to put water onto boil. Hoss had pulled himself back to his feet and holding his hand to him he came over to the hut, shaking his head as Swann offered to help “No I’m okay.” He sat down grabbed a bandage and tried to clear the blood so that he could see the damage. Hoss was getting nowhere left-handed and Swann took his hand “For goodness sake let me have a look Hoss.”

The blood was mainly coming from badly grazed knuckles but there was one deeper cut on his wrist. Swann put pressure on the cut and then asked, “Can you move your fingers Hoss?”

Hoss moved them in turn although the third one made him wince and insisted “No real harm done.” Swann felt his hand gently used to dealing with accidents after years in the mines “Seems okay Hoss but I think you may have broken one of those small bones and you’ve certainly broken your third finger. It’s gonna be very bruised, you’d better see the Doc.” Hoss nodded “Have you got any whisky?”

Swann shook his head “No we are due to get stores tomorrow. You’d better wash it in hot water Hoss, it’s the best we can do for now.” Hoss nodded and let Swann wash his hand off and bandage it. It was throbbing madly but he put it to the back of his mind and concentrated on finishing his business, Later in the morning with business finished Hoss was ready to head home. Swann said “Sure hope your hand will be okay I’m not sure I’ve got those bones right, you ought to see Doc.”

Hoss nodded “I will soon as I get a chance.” He hauled himself into the saddle and tucked his hand into his jacket for support. His hand was throbbing furiously and, in some peculiar way, it seemed to go right through his body. His head was pounding and his eyes burning with lack of sleep. It seemed to take a long time to get home but he still had one more stop to make at Adam’s house.

Work on the house had progressed well; Philip had loaned them two expert carpenters from the Ophir to work with their own men. The drainage and foundations had been done and they were working on the main structure. Hoss went to see how they were getting on and to ensure they were following his brother’s plans. The men were working on the roof as Hoss approached and he pulled up and watched them. Even though only the shell of the house was up but Hoss could already see the difference between this and the rococo mansions being put up in town. Adam had an instinctive feel for line and he hated the ornate, preferring simplicity with good line to give the elegance that he was looking for. This showed up best in his first love, architecture, and after a chance to see some of the glories of Europe, he had put his best efforts into this house. Hoss sat watching the men on the roof and he couldn't help thinking of the time Adam was doing just such a job on his house and took that terrible fall. Hoss was missing his brothers, with his father so withdrawn and all the work on his shoulders, he had sometimes wanted to talk to Adam and get advice more than he could ever remember. Hoss was grateful to get down and have coffee with the workmen. He felt terrible but none of the men knew him well enough to comment and kept the discussion to work. Adam’s plans were so detailed and explicit that they had no trouble following them and were confident that the shell would be completed in another week. Jack Catfish had already provided all the lumber they needed from the Ponderosa.

Hoss headed on home and gave himself a quarter of an hour and a large brandy before he went to see his father. The brandy had given him a bit of colour back but his eyes were overly bright. Ben looked at his big son as he came in and immediately noticed his bandaged hand and the glitter in his eyes, which indicated a severe headache. Anxiously Ben asked “What have you been up to Hoss, how did you hurt your hand?”

Hoss managed a grin, but it didn’t fool either of them “Its only grazed and bruised Pa. I caught it on the rocks up at the mine, just a mite sore.”

Ben considered his son carefully but couldn’t see any other injuries “You look exhausted Hoss. Why don’t you go and have a bath before dinner?”

“Are you okay Pa?”

“I’m fine Son but I have these accounts to finish. We’ll talk after dinner.”

Hoss was grateful to go and soak in a hot bath. He kept the bandage on his hand not wanting to start his hand bleeding again but at least the hot water soaked some of the tension out of his body and eased his headache. That evening Hoss relaxed, he had good reports on all their operations. Ben thought his big son looked tired and sore but as Hoss wouldn’t talk he contented himself with ensuring that his son had an early night.

Carole and her mother had arranged a large farewell party for the night before the newly weds were returning home. Carole had spent quite a lot of time working with her mother on the preparations, enjoying her mother’s company; they had always been very close. At least she didn’t have to worry about leaving Adam to his own devices, as she knew he wanted time to spend with his brother.

Little Joe was much better now that he had someone to talk to and in company he managed a fairly efficient mask but there was very little Adam could really do, except promise to clear thing up with their father. The telegraph was still down so they couldn’t even contact Virginia City. On his own Joe was still brooding and he wasn’t sleeping well but, under his brother’s eagle eye, he was at least eating properly and he didn’t look nearly as gaunt as he had when he arrived. It was the early hours of the morning that Joe found the hardest. Unable to sleep he saw again his father’s hurt face and Marie’s cold withdrawn one. Several nights he spent hours staring out of the window at nothing, until he was so tired that his eyes would no longer stay open. Twice Adam had heard his brother pacing around and gone into him but Joe felt guilty about disturbing his brother. Not only was Adam now married but his brother, although far better, still had some way to go to rebuild his stamina and Joe could see his tiredness. Joe had asked his brother to leave him alone and Adam did as he was asked for the next three days but he lay awake listening to his brother pacing up and down. Adam couldn’t think how best to help Joe and he couldn’t sleep for worrying. Adam was still very aware of the pain in his brother’s eyes, Joe might be able to wear a convincing mask for strangers, but he couldn’t hide the pain and confusion from the brother who had helped to bring him up. Despite Adam’s promise Joe was dreading facing his father again. He prayed that Adam was right and he hadn’t hurt his father but he couldn’t be sure he had been so angry, maybe angrier than he had ever been in his life. Then there was Marie; Joe still couldn’t get her out of his mind.

That last night, Carole’s parents had virtually every relative and friend round for the farewell party and Adam and Carole were soon separated. After a couple of hours Adam realised that he hadn’t seen his brother for a while and he managed to find his wife “Have you seen Joe?”

“He went upstairs about quarter of an hour ago, a number of the girls have already missed him.”

“I’ll pop up and make sure he’s okay. I won’t be long.” Carole nodded and Adam slipped upstairs. He found his brother sitting staring out of the window in his room. He turned as Adam came in “You should be downstairs, this party is for you and Carole.”

“Maybe but I wondered where you were, as are half the young ladies in this town.”

Joe turned back to the window “I couldn’t stick it any longer. I didn’t feel much like socialising and they are so bigoted.” Adam knew exactly what his brother meant. The main subject of discussion for the last two days had been the return of one of the girls who had grown up in the town and then had been working on the stage in New York. The women were the most obvious, cutting her dead but the men in a way were worse. They assumed an actress was the same as a prostitute and treated her accordingly. The brothers had both been sickened by it, she seemed a pleasant girl and they had grown up in a much less rigid structure where saloon girls became mansion owners, by marriage or by playing the stock market. Their father had always taught them the importance of judging people by their acts and not their position and that every person deserved a second chance. It had made his behaviour over Marie doubly inexplicable and Adam was well aware that it was thoughts of Marie, which made Joe so sensitive to their behaviour.

Adam gripped his brother’s shoulder in mute sympathy “I know what you mean Joe but we will be leaving tomorrow. If you could face them again for a while I’d be grateful. I don’t want to let Carole’s parents down. They have to live here and I’d hate to feel they had to apologise for us.”

Joe could understand his brother’s point of view “Alright Adam give me a few minutes and I promise I’ll come back down.” Adam squeezed his brother’s neck affectionately “Thanks little brother.”

Little Joe kept his word and managed to hide his contempt for some of these people. Somehow he found it far easier, when after hearing a very bitchy comment from one of Carole’s cousins, he turned away to hide the expression of disgust on his face to find it mirrored exactly on Carole’s. She came over and linked arms with him “That’s one reason I came back west. I had never noticed how narrow we were until I went to San Francisco. When I came back I couldn’t help but see it and I was continually in trouble for arguing”

Joe grinned down at her “You always do me good Carole, now where are the fruits of all your labours in the kitchen.”

Carole smiled affectionately at him and led him to the food. Adam stood watching his wife and his brother and thanked his lucky stars that they had grown fond of each other and got on so well.

As the party finished around 2 a.m. Adam and Joe were sent upstairs out of the way while Carole and her mother cleared the worst of the mess. Little Joe had been getting cold feet about facing his father and, as they went upstairs, he dropped his bombshell “I don’t think I’ll come back with you Adam. I think I’ll stay in New York for a while. I’ve never been there and having come so far it seems a pity to miss it.”

Adam looked at Joe but his brother wouldn’t meet his eye. Adam followed Joe into his room and sank down on the bed. Adam was very tired and wasn’t really in the mood to cope with Joe with the patience he knew he needed He sighed heavily, “Alright Joe what’s this about? I know we should have heard from pa but I wasn’t fooling when I said the line was down. I checked today, its still down.”

Joe turned to the window “It’s not just that Adam, though I wish we’d heard.”

“Well what is this nonsense about, if you’re worried you can stay in Reno until I’ve seen Pa.” he spoke sharply, too tired to hide his impatience. Little Joe knew he was being a nuisance to his brother and didn’t want to intrude on him and Carole anymore. Now he’d caught up on food and some sleep, he felt capable of standing on his own again and he couldn’t face being an unwanted third on the long train journey west. Joe looked at his brother as Adam snapped at him and saw just how tired he was. He went over to Adam “Go to bed big brother. I’ll be coming with you at least as far as New York so we’ll have plenty of time to talk later.”

Adam was too tired to argue, he’d spent too many hours worrying about his brother rather than sleeping and now with Joe springing this on him he had tensed up. The pain in his back and stomach had returned full force and he was finding it hard to sit straight. He was not as free from nagging pain as he would have liked or led his wife and brother to believe. Now he found it took all his energy to walk into the next room and get into bed, but, tired as he was, he couldn’t sleep. Carole came up to find him lying awake and as she slid in next to him she could feel the tension in his body. She curled up by him trying to get him to relax and succeeded in part, but long after she’d gone to sleep, Adam lay awake. He wanted to see his father and big brother and to ride the wide-open spaces of the Ponderosa so badly he could almost taste it.

They had to be up early the following morning as the stage left at nine and they all showed signs of lack of sleep. Carole said goodbye to her parents and both her and her mother were in tears, not knowing when they would see each other again. Adam could only put his arm round his wife and hold her close until she calmed down. At least there were only two other passengers, an elderly couple heading for Boston.

After a while Carole brightened up a bit and dried her eyes and began to chat about events over the last weeks. Adam’s replies were becoming more and more forced until after an hour Joe asked, “Do you want me to get the driver to stop Adam?”

Adam shook his head “I’m okay don’t fuss.” But he was white, even to his lips as the lack of sleep and the motion of the coach caught up with him. Carole was very worried and explained to the other couple that her husband had been badly injured a few months earlier and travel still upset him. Joe persuaded his brother to lean back against him and the warmth of his brother’s body helped a little and Adam managed to doze for a while. Then he sat up staring out of the window fighting nausea successfully. At length they stopped for lunch and Adam immediately walked off into the trees.

Joe helped Carole down “Go and get some food I’ll look after him.” Carole nodded and left Joe to follow his brother into the trees. Joe found Adam sitting on a log, his head in his hands, he had been very sick and he felt rotten. Joe had collected some water and he passed it to his brother. Adam rinsed his mouth out and then risked a few sips. Joe passed over a brandy flask that he had brought as a precaution having seen rather more than his brother intended the previous night. Adam sipped a little and Joe just let his brother take his time. Eventually Adam said, “Let’s go rejoin Carole.” Joe helped his brother to his feet, glad to see he had a little colour back in his face “Are you going to be okay Adam? It’s still a long way to Boston.”

“I’ll make out.”

It was late when they reached Boston. Adam hadn’t spoken for the last two hours and he felt weak and ill, but at least he hadn’t been sick again. Joe lifted their luggage down and then gave his brother a hand over to the hotel where they had rooms for the night. Adam just wanted to lie down, so Joe took Carole down for some food.

Carole said “I’m very sorry about the events which brought you here Joe but I have seldom felt more grateful for anything in my life. The train journey here was a nightmare and although he’s a lot fitter, today shows he’s still a long way from fully fit. I’m dreading the journey back but at least you’ll be there to help.”

Joe looked suspiciously at her but came to the conclusion that it wasn’t an act and he guessed that Adam hadn’t said anything to her about his plan of stopping off in New York. He asked her why the journey had been so bad and Carole explained the need to keep Adam’s mind occupied, without being able to resort to books. Joe sensed that she would be really grateful if he came along and, far from being a nuisance, he could earn his keep. He immediately decided to go with them and stop in Reno as Adam had suggested. He went back to their room with Carole to find Adam was still awake. Joe told his brother that he had changed his mind and would be coming with them, maybe he could be useful. Adam grinned, “Good I don’t feel like arguing with you.”

Joe ruffled his brother’s hair “Get some sleep Adam the train leaves for New York at eight.”

Hoss hadn’t found time to go in and see the Doc before heading out with the herd. He was reasonably happy about his father and anyway Adam would be home in another week. Hoss didn't dare cut it any finer if they were to meet their contract. His hand was throbbing continually but he could move it okay and thought that Swann had set the bones, it was just taking time to heal. He was too busy to take much time to worry about his hand and he kept it stuffed in his jacket and did his best to ignore it. At least he had managed to hide from his father how much it was worrying him.

Hoss rode out to the herd on the Thursday, knowing that if Adam had stuck to his original plan his brothers would be in Reno on Monday. Ben thought his big son looked drawn but put it down to the hard work he’d had in the past few weeks and thought that Hoss would be better for the drive, at least the problems there were ones he was used to dealing with. On the drive Hoss would be free of the detested paperwork. Ben was anxiously waiting for Adam to bring his youngest son home but not wanting to worry Hoss he put on a cheerful front when Hoss was around.

Hoss came up to see his father before he headed out “You sure you’ll be okay Pa? I could hang on for a couple of days until Adam gets back and then catch up the herd. José could cope.”

Ben clapped his big son on the back “Stop fussing Hoss, I’ll be fine.”

Hoss grinned, “Okay Pa. Then I’d better get going.”

Hoss set the herd in motion and rode along side. The first two days travelling was so well known he had no problems, the men could cope; but as he relaxed after all the strains of getting the herd on the move, the pain in his hand would no longer stay in the back of his mind. The throbbing seemed to spread throughout his body and he was irritable with the men, which surprised them, especially José. It was so unlike Hoss. When they were fooling around in camp on the third night and one of them tried to tease Hoss, the big man turned on him and told him to grow up or get out and then walked off into the bushes. The hands sat in stunned silence but José told them not to worry and followed his friend, Hoss was sitting nursing his hand, which had become rather swollen and very tender. His head throbbed in sympathy with his hand and he felt rotten. José went over to him “What ever is wrong Hoss?”

Hoss pressed the palm of his left hand against his forehead “It’s nothing José I’m just tired and irritable, no fit company.” José wasn’t convinced, but apart from deciding to keep a close eye on his friend, there was nothing he could do.

Little Joe was earning his keep on the train and all of them were anxiously awaiting the end of the journey. Adam was immeasurably better than on the trip north but the continual motion brought on a nagging pain in his back, a headache and a general ache in all his muscles and lethargy. He wasn’t sleeping well and knew he was being irritable, although he tried not to. Joe spent long hours playing chess with Adam, he never won and often got long lectures on the stupidity of his move. Adam had taught him but had never been able to dispel Joe’s habit of getting side-tracked from his plan if tempted. Typical of his younger brother as Adam told him more than once, just not thinking things through. Joe had never been very keen on the game Hoss wouldn’t play and both his father and eldest brother were too good for him so he nearly always lost. He hated Adam giving him a queen to even things up. Carole thought Adam was rotten to his brother but Joe was quite happy to take his lectures, if it helped Adam to pass the time. Adam knew just how short tempered and cross he was being and tried to apologise to both of them but was told not to worry about it. They both knew just how wearing he was finding the journey with a continual head and backache. At long last the train pulled into Reno and they gratefully got their things over to the hotel.

On the Sunday Hoss had felt even worse, his whole forearm was swollen and it felt as though it was on fire. He knew he had to see a Doc but he was due to pick up stores in Fallon the following day and he thought he could hang on until then. It was late in the afternoon when José saw Hoss part company with his horse. José galloped over to his friend and swung down by him. Hoss was unconscious and burning up with fever. José had seen how Hoss kept his right hand tucked in his jacket and so he eased it out to have a good look. José bit his lip and whistled softly when he saw how swollen it was “Amigo what have you been doing to yourself?” He couldn’t cope with the big man alone and called over a couple of hands to help. Between them the three men got Hoss back on Chubb and walked him back into camp. José knew he had to get Hoss to a doctor and fast so he ordered the men to unload what they needed for that night and make a bed up for Hoss in the back of the store wagon. They eased the big man into the wagon and then José began to drive into Fallon. He was about halfway when Hoss came round. For a moment Hoss was only aware of the pain in his arm but then realising where he was, he let out a yell. José stopped and poked his head into the wagon “Hello Hoss, how are you feeling?”

Hoss was struggling to sit up “Where are we going José?”

José held him down “Take it easy Hoss you’re running a hell of a fever. I’m taking you into Doc in Fallon. We’ll be there in an hour.” Hoss threw off José’s hand “I’m alright take me back to the herd.”

José shook his head “Don’t be a fool Hoss you need a doctor.”

“No I’m okay. Do as you’re told.”

José shook his head and, in a fit of temper, Hoss voice sounded stronger as he said “You’re fired.”

José fed him a little water and eased him back down “Okay Hoss I’m fired but you are still going into the Doc, How in hell am I supposed to face Adam and Joe let alone your Pa if I don’t look after you, you big galloot.”

Hoss shut his eyes, “The herd, we have a contract it’s got to get through.”

“Take it easy. You're not indispensable, I’ll get the herd through after I’ve handed you over to the Doc.” Hoss felt too ill to argue any more and relaxed nursing his arm.

José was calculating on what Hoss had told him and by his reckoning Adam and Joe were due into Reno the following day and he decided to send a telegram to try and contact them. Ben was still tied to the house and there seemed little point in worrying him but Hoss was very sick and his family needed to know. José was very glad to finally pull into Fallon and he found the Doctor’s house on the outskirts of town. He left Hoss who had drifted back into sleep in the wagon and went inside. Doc was at home and on hearing about the trouble, he went out with José to help Hoss into the house, Doc kept a spare room for patients on the ground floor and, once José managed to wake Hoss, he was able to walk into the house. Then he collapsed onto the bed.

The Doc got him lying down comfortably and unwrapped the bandages on his hand. He asked when it had been injured but Hoss was too close to collapse. He heard the questions but somehow the answers he formed didn’t get past his mind. Luckily José was able to fill the Doc in on what had happened and when. Doc shook his head “Blood poisoning. I’m sorry I’m going to have to amputate his arm to save his life.”

That did get through to Hoss and he raised himself up on his left elbow “No Doc. You ain’t gonna cut my arm off.”

The Doc sat down by him “I’m real sorry Son but its the only way. Your heart is having trouble coping with the poison now; it won’t take much more. I’ve got to remove the source of the poison.”

Hoss tried to pull himself to his feet “No I won’t let you I’m leaving.” In his weakened state, his will power wasn’t sufficient and he collapsed on the floor at Doc’s feet. Doc and José lifted the unconscious man back on the bed and José looked at the Doc horrified “Ain’t there any other way?”

Doc sighed heavily “I’ll try and drain the poison from his hand but I think its gone too far for that and the longer I leave the amputation, the weaker the poison will make him. Then he will be that much less likely to survive the shock of the operation. I take it you do want him to live?”

José glared at him “Of course I do but I can’t make that decision I only work for him. I’ll try to telegraph his family.”

Doc nodded and having undressed and settled the big man as comfortably as he could with José’s help; he let José go to the telegraph office. He strapped Hoss’ arm down and cut across the wounds beginning to drain out some blood and pus. It eased the swelling up Hoss’ arm but Doc felt it would only be a temporary relief.

Adam and Joe had agreed that Joe would stay with Carole in Reno and start making arrangements to tranship all the things that were beginning to arrive from New York. Adam intended to hire a horse and ride home to see his father and then collect a wagon and come back for his wife and brother. Carole wasn’t at all happy about it and had argued in vain that Adam shouldn’t do it. He hadn’t been on a horse since he was shot and it was a long ride home from Reno. Adam assured her that he was fine and Joe backed his brother and told her not to worry. Adam had been riding all his life; he was completely at home in the saddle. Carole had to give way to the brothers although she knew she would worry.

As the three of them booked in at the hotel, the desk clerk handed Adam a telegram, which had arrived for him the previous evening. Puzzled Adam ripped it open and as he read it, he lost colour. Carole and Joe moved closer to him and Carole asked anxiously “What’s wrong?”

Adam couldn’t find the words and just passed José’s telegram to his brother and Carole read it over Joe’s shoulder. José had told them that Hiss was suffering from blood poisoning and the Doctor in Fallon wanted to amputate his arm to save his life, but Hoss wouldn’t let him, somebody had to come. Adam and Joe looked at each other. It was nearly a hundred miles from Reno to Fallon and someone needed to get there fast. Adam hated to put the burden on his little brother but they both knew Joe could make it faster alone. Joe said “Cochise is in the stable, he’ll be fit and raring to go. Telegraph José and tell him I’ll be there tonight.” Adam nodded he wanted to go too but knew he would only hold Joe up. However sure he was that he could ride he wasn’t fit for a mad dash. He looked at his little brother “I’ll come down to the stable with you Joe.” The two brothers walked out oblivious of everyone else, even Carole “What are you going to do Joe?”

“I don’t know I can’t imagine Hoss with only one arm.” They both tried to face the idea of their big gentle, kind-hearted brother crippled for life. They knew how much he would hate it. Sometimes he shied away from people as it was, feeling clumsy and out of place due to his huge size. That had mainly been when he was younger, always very big for his age, but Adam remembered very clearly and he knew those days had left a scar. Only occasionally of later years had his size worried him and it had shown mainly in his fellow feeling for other big men. Adam put his arm round his little brother’s shoulders “I know Hoss will hate living as a cripple but if it is the only way to save his life you are going to have to give the Doc the go-ahead.”

Joe whitefaced nodded “I know that Adam. If it comes to it, I sure hope that Hoss can forgive me.”

Adam was silent as they reached the stable. Cochise was delighted to see his master after a month and he was soon saddled. Joe left Adam to settle up the accounts and swung up into the saddle. Adam put his hand on Joe’s “I’ll see Paul before I go home and if he has any advice I’ll telegraph you and when I’ve seen Pa I’ll come and join you. Meantime give Hoss my love and tell him to hang on.” Joe shook his brother’s hand “I’ll do my best for him Adam.”

Adam forced a smile “You don’t need to tell me that brother, now go.” Adam stood watching Joe head out on his long ride. He spent ten minutes settling the account for Cochise and then went down to the telegraph office to let José know that Joe was on his way. Then he headed back to the hotel to get Carole settled before he could go home and see his father. Carole was waiting for him up in their room and she came straight over to put her arms round him, knowing how worried he was about Hoss, “Will you go and join them, when you have seen your father?”

Adam couldn’t help feeling a little surprised that after such a short time she knew him so well, but he just nodded “I’ll have to. If Joe has to let them amputate, they are both gonna need all the help they can get for a while.”

Carole smiled understandingly “Of course my love but I’m coming to the Ponderosa with you. I can ride as well as you can and you can send some hands to collect the things.” Adam studied her face for a moment but he had come to know his wife and when she looked like that it wasn’t worth arguing “Alright love, Pa will be worried sick when he finds out and he’s tied to the house, maybe you can help him.” Carole was surprised to win so easily, she had been expecting a long argument. Adam went on “Change into riding clothes and pack a small bag. I’ll go and see the manager arrange for the rest of the luggage to be stored for a couple of days and get two horses. I’ll see you out front in half an hour.” Carole kissed him "I’ll be ready.” They left town riding close together in silence, both thinking about the gentle giant and praying that he would be alright.

José had received the telegram from Adam and was anxiously awaiting Joe’s arrival. Hoss was unconscious the beneficial result of bleeding had long since vanished. The Doc was still insisting that he had to amputate and that if he left it much longer Hoss would die anyway too weak to withstand the shock. José couldn’t give him the authorisation and Hoss had been so insistent about his refusal that Doc would not go ahead without word from someone. José assured him that Hoss’ brother would be there by nightfall and the Doc pessimistically hoped that it wouldn’t be too late. José sitting by his friend, listening to the laboured breathing and trying with cold compresses to fight the fever, was scared that the Doc was right.

Adam found riding more tiring than he expected. He tried, none too successfully, to hide it from Carole. As they drew near the Ponderosa Carole suggested “Why don’t you go and see your father I’ll go and ask Doc’s advice and then rejoin you here. It would save some time.” Adam wasn’t sure, sore and with backache the idea of avoiding the extra miles into town and back was very attractive but he studied his wife carefully. She was still riding very easily and so he agreed “Okay but come to the ranch first and I’ll send one of the men into town with you.”

Carole nodded grateful that Adam had accepted at all. Adam was trying to think how to break the news about Hoss to his father and just how his father felt about Joe now and how badly he’d been hurt. In a way it would be easier alone with his father.

Adam dismounted stiffly in the yard and called for Kirk to take the horse. Then seeing Red in the barn he asked him to saddle a horse and escort Mrs Cartwright into town and back. Red went to saddle up and Carole slipped down for a moment into Adam’s arms. She promised to tell the Doc exactly what was wrong and telegraph any advice to Fallon to await Joe. Adam saw them off and then went inside to find his father in the wheel chair working at the desk. Adam was stiff, sore, tired and desperately worried and Ben read that in his eldest son’s face as Adam moved towards him.

Adam knelt down by his father “How are you Pa?”

Ben rested his hand on his son’s hair “Doc says I can start walking again next week and otherwise I’m fine but what’s wrong with you, where’s Little Joe?”

Adam looked up at his father and sighed heavily, there was no easy way to tell him “Joe’s on his way to Fallon Pa. We had a telegram from José, Hoss is seriously ill.”

Ben had been prepared to hear bad news from the moment he’d seen Adam’s face but he had expected to hear that Joe hadn’t been able to or willing to see him. The last thing he had expected was that Hoss was in trouble. Adam pulled himself stiffly to his feet and poured out two large brandies and then, unable to bring himself to tell his father, he handed over José’s telegram. Ben read the telegram and then wordlessly downed the brandy Adam passed him “What is Joe going to do?”

Adam shook his head “I don’t know Pa but we agreed that if it was the only way to save Hoss’ life he’d have to tell Doc to go ahead. Joe was praying if it came to that, that Hoss would forgive him.”

Ben knew how much his big son would hate being a cripple, he’d always felt clumsy and ungainly, especially against his elegant and graceful brothers, but he knew they had no choice they had to save his life. Ben shook his head “That’s one hell of a decision for Joe to make,”

“I know. When I’ve eaten I’m heading out to join Joe. Carole has gone into town to see Paul and asked if he has any advice. If so she’ll telegraph Joe before joining you here.”

Ben looked at his eldest son “You look exhausted now Son and its a long way.”

Adam stared into the fire “I’m a bit stiff and sore Pa. It’s a long time since I’ve been on a horse, but I’ll be okay. I’ve got to go to Hoss, if Joe had to let the Doc amputate they’ll both need some help for the next few days.”

Ben wheeled himself over to his son “Sit down Adam I’ll get Hop Sing to bring some food,” Adam was sitting staring into the fire when his father came back. He looked up at his father “How did you break your leg Pa?”

Ben told him what had happened and Adam shook his head and then grinned at his father “You call me mule headed! Can you wonder at it?”

Ben asked anxiously “I know I was stupid and I didn’t mean what I said. I was trying to stop Joe and tell him when he pushed me aside. Will he come home?”

Adam stood up and went over to grip his father’s shoulders, which were sunk in despondency “Of course he will Pa. He didn’t mean what he said either. The pair of you need your heads knocked together. He heard how he was supposed to have beaten you up and has been going frantic, trying to remember. I told him you were probably already hurt and that there wasn’t anything to remember.”

Ben looked up in surprise at that “Why?”

Adam smiled at his father “Two reasons. None of us have ever lifted a finger to you and while I can imagine Joe lashing out verbally or walking out I just couldn’t see him touching you and secondly, it was the only reason I could think of for you going off the deep end.”

Ben had to grin “You always did know us pretty well.”

Adam filled his father in on the sorry figure who had joined him in Hillsboro and assured him that all Joe wanted was to come home and make his peace with his father. Time passed quickly as they talked and Carole arrived back from town just as Hop Sing arrived with food

The worst of his anxiety about his youngest son eased Ben had to face the threat to Hoss. Carole went straight over to Ben and kissed him “I was sorry to hear that you had broken your leg but Doc says you’re almost recovered now.”

Ben nodded and Carole went on, knowing what both men needed, “Doc wasn’t too keen on giving advice with out seeing the patient but he suggested packing Hoss’ arm in ice and putting a wet dressing heavy in salt over the hand after lancing it. He said that might draw the poison out, but if the swelling still progressed up the arm, then Joe would have to allow the amputation. He wrote out detailed instructions and I telegraphed them to Joe. But he did warn me that if it was as serious as José made it sound then there was only a slight chance it would work.”

Ben and Adam looked at each other and Ben said, “Well at least it gives Joseph some guidelines to work to. All we can do is pray.”

Adam forced a smile “Sure Pa, God has been very good to us so far, he’ll be with Hoss too.”

They moved over to table. Ben couldn’t eat but Adam forced himself to and when he had finished he filled a hip flask with brandy and called to Kirk to saddle Sport and Buck. He intended to swap between the two horses, both strong and fresh, because he had no intention of stopping until he reached his brothers. “I’ll send word as soon as I know anything Pa.”

Ben nodded “Just be careful Son don’t push yourself too hard.” Adam smiled, kissed Carole and then rode out. Carole stood at the door watching him, knowing how tired and sore he was after the ride from Reno and praying that this long ride wouldn’t do any real harm. Then she went back in to sit by Ben. They didn’t speak, but it was a companionable silence, and both were grateful for the presence of the other to share their worries.

Little Joe had made very good time; Cochise was fresh and eager to go. He reached Fallon around ten p.m. and headed straight to the telegraph office. He was in luck the office stayed open very late on Mondays to receive the last news in from Sacramento for the newspaper, which went to print on Tuesday. The telegrapher was very surprised when Joe came in, unused to seeing any one apart from the reporter and certainly not a stranger. However when Joe gave his name understanding dawned, “Oh yeah, there was a telegram came in for you, couple of hours back.” He rooted it out and handed it to Joe and then he told Joe where to find the Doctor. Joe read the wire before heading for his brother and then hurried to Hoss. José was sitting with Hoss and hearing the horse come up, he checked and recognising Cochise, came out to greet Joe. Joe asked, “How is he?”

“No real change, it ain’t good. The Doc keeps drawing off blood from his hand and that seems to relieve him for an hour or two and then it builds up again. I’m real glad you’re here Joe, I can’t overrule Hoss.”

Joe bit his lip, seeing the certainty in his old friend’s face that he would have to allow the Doc to amputate, but for now he needed to see his brother. He followed José in and sat down by his big brother. Hoss was very flushed and moaning slightly. Little Joe changed the cold compress on his brother’s forehead and began talking quietly to him. Gradually Hoss seemed to rest a little easier. José had gone to fetch the Doc, who came in to find Joe inspecting the swelling in his brother’s arm. It reached about halfway up to the elbow, which meant, going by Paul’s telegram, that they still had a little time. Joe introduced himself and said “I took the liberty of asking our own doctor for advice and he suggested this.” He handed over the telegram. The Doc read it but looked very sceptical “It might work young man, but it’s a very long shot. All the time you delay, more of the poison is working its way round your brother’s body and weakening him, so that he’s less able to stand the shock of the amputation.”

Joe nodded, “I understand that Sir, but my brother is very strong. I have to try everything I can before I sentence him to life as a cripple. I know he’ll hate that.”

The doctor asked, “You do realise that you are risking his life?”

Joe nodded and the Doc gave way “Well we will try it for a few hours, but if the swelling progresses you have got to give me permission to amputate.”

Joe agreed “I know that and I will.”

The Doc looked at him “I know you only want the best for your brother young man, but it’s better to be a live cripple than a dead whole man.” Then he left to organise what was needed.

José said “Joe do you want me to stay here or take the herd on through.”

Joe looked up at that, he hadn’t given the herd a thought, “I suppose we still have contracts to meet and you can’t do anything here.”

José gripped the younger man’s shoulder “Don’t worry about the contracts I have been with Hoss often enough to know the trail and Pio and the others will give me all the help they can. Will you write me out an authorisation to deal on your behalf?”

Joe wasn’t thinking straight but, as José spoke, he tried to pull himself together. He managed to remember the approximate form of the authorisation, having seen so many that Adam and Ben had drawn up in the past. He handed it to José and then said “I’ll telegraph ahead and tell them of the change in plan.” Joe did his best to thank José for taking on the job but he knew he wasn’t being very coherent. It didn’t matter José could see how he felt, written all over Joe’s expressive face. José eased himself to his feet “I’ll get going and be praying for Hoss. The big man will make it Joe, he’s too strong to give in to a minor injury.”

Joe was barely aware of José leaving, all his attention on his brother. Hoss was very restless again as the poison spread through his body but somehow Joe’s voice penetrated to him and he struggled to open his eyes. He finally focussed to see Joe bending over him. Joe gave him a little water and said “Easy brother, just lie still.”

Hoss gripped Joe with his left hand and Joe was scared by just how weak the grip was and how faint his voice, but his brother was making sense, “Don’t let them cut my arm off Joe. Don’t let them.”

Little Joe held his brother still “It’s gonna be alright Hoss I won’t let them hurt you. I promise.”

Hoss stared at his brother intently, what he saw in Joe’s eyes seemed to satisfy him and he relaxed a little, but as he did so the pain became even more evident, and then with a little sigh he slipped back into unconsciousness. Joe sat staring down at his brother, he’d given an implicit promise to stop any amputation but if the swelling increased he would have to break that promise. For now all he could do was pray, pray that Doc’s method would work and that he would not be forced into the decision he dreaded.

Eventually the Doctor came back in and set up the icepacks. He lanced the wound again and drew off some blood and then put the wet salt dressing to hold the wound open and hopefully let it continue to drain. Hoss fought against the dressing and the icepack at first, but after ten minutes or so the bleeding had effect, the swelling faded slightly and he rested easier. Doc showed Joe how to keep the dressing wet and at the right level of salt and then had to return to a difficult childbirth case he had upstairs. He promised to come back in an hour and told Joe to call if his brother got any worse. Doc kept popping in at intervals during that long night. Joe kept the icepacks freshened and renewed the wet dressing regularly. He kept applying cold compresses to Hoss’ head. The night seemed terribly long to him, every so often he became convinced that the swelling was increasing and that he would have to do what he dreaded and permit the amputation. Other times Hoss slipped into delirium and started to toss around, talking wildly, but each time Joe managed to calm his brother by talking to him and stroking his head.

Joe was glad to see the dawn although it made no real difference, he couldn’t hope for Adam to be with him to share the pressures until that evening at the earliest. The Doc came in, very despondent. He had saved the mother but been unable to save the child. Joe watched anxiously as Doc examined his brother, not helped when the older man straightened up and shook his head. Joe asked, “What do you think?”

Doc shrugged “I don’t know the swelling is being held and at least some of the poison is draining out, but he’s lost some ground generally, he’s weaker than he was.”

Joe stared down at his brother “What do you think Doc? Dare we carry on?”

Doc looked up at the intense young man, his worry and love for his brother very clear on his face and he made up his mind “As you said he’s pretty strong. Let it ride for a few more hours. Then if the swelling hasn’t gone down we will have to make a final decision. At least the swelling isn’t progressing.”

Joe nodded and the doctor said “I’ll stay with your brother for a while, go and get some breakfast you look as though you need it.”

Joe knew the Doc was right and Hoss wasn’t likely to come round so he went down the street. The barber’s was open and empty so he spared five minutes for a shave and then went on to the hotel. Joe booked a room for the next week; once Adam arrived they would need it and then headed to the restaurant. He didn’t feel like food, but he hadn’t eaten since arriving in Reno, and knew it wouldn’t help Hoss it he was on the verge of collapse. Joe forced himself to eat a good steak with all the trimmings and after a couple of cups of coffee, he felt better. Then Joe headed down to the telegraph office to wire ahead and let the buyers know that José was handling the herd. In all it was three-quarters of an hour before he got back to Hoss’ bedside.

Hoss had been very restless all the time Joe had been gone, delirious and calling for his brother. Doc was very worried but as soon as Joe sat down next to him and started talking to him the big man calmed down and rested more easily. Doc was surprised Hoss seemed to sense his brother’s presence, despite apparently begin deeply unconscious. Little Joe took it for granted, he had promised to look after Hoss, of course his brother rested more easily knowing he was there.

Joe sat by his brother’s bed, trying to calculate the earliest that Adam could arrive. He knew that his brother wasn’t fully fit and it was a long way from the ranch. Joe knew that Adam would do his very best to reach them fast but he wasn’t at all sure that his brother was fit enough to do it in one go, without resting overnight. Even if Adam left at dawn Joe knew he couldn’t reach Fallon much before midnight. The final decision on Hoss’ arm probably couldn’t wait that long. Joe knew that Hoss was weakening as the high temperature, pain and the effort of fighting the poison took their toll. There was little he could do to help, except change dressings and compresses and pray.

Adam was determined to make the ride in one go. He was already very stiff and sore and knew that if he stopped, allowing the unused muscles to really stiffen, he wouldn’t be able to get back into the saddle. He knew the road well and at least Sport’s action was so familiar he didn’t have to think to move with it, it was ass natural as breathing. Adam didn't try any shortcuts, although he knew a couple, but they were rough and he knew he was pushing his luck anyway. For the same reason he kept the pace steady, pushing too hard he would just end up having to make stops. By dawn he was more than half way and he swapped onto Buck and continued without stopping, having a drink of brandy as he went. Buck like Sport was glad of exercise and without any weight over the first half of the journey was fresher than the chestnut. Adam was very sore and tired but pushed on hoping to be with his brothers by midday. In the event, he found the last fifteen miles took the longest. Both horses were tired and he was exhausted, so it was nearly 2 p.m. when he finally rode into Fallon. He saw the Doctor’s house on the outskirts and tied up his horses out front. He had to hold onto the hitchrail to retain his balance, as he dismounted, so very stiff with his back very painful. Fear for his brother gave him the strength he needed and he made his way up the steps to the front door. Doc was in the hall and thought he was a patient, not surprisingly as he was white and drawn with tiredness and worry. Adam shook his head “No I’m okay, but I understand you have my brothers here. I’m Adam Cartwright.”

Doc nodded “I was just about to go and check on your brother.” He led the way down the hall into the sickroom. Joe looked up as he heard the door open and saw Doc come in, but then to his amazement he saw Adam standing behind Doc. It was so much earlier than he had dared hope and he knew his eldest brother must have ridden all night. Adam moved forward to Hoss “How is he Joe?” He could see for himself that, thus far, Joe hadn’t agreed to amputation. Little Joe stood by Adam, so very grateful to have someone to share the burden of making a decision “Doc’s treatment is holding the swelling, it isn’t getting any worse, but it doesn’t seem to be getting any better either, and he’s gradually getting weaker.”

Doc moved over to Hoss and examined him. After a couple of minutes he stood up shaking his head, “You have to make the final decision now. You either have that arm off and hope he’s strong enough to take the shock, or you leave it, continue with the drainage and hope he wins before it kills him. In another hour or so he is going to be too weak for me to dare to operate. As of now it might save his life, but I’m not offering any guarantees.”

Joe looked at Adam, “Thank God you’re here, what do we do?”

Adam stood, stroking his big brother’s forehead, “What do you advise Doc?”

Doc said, “Amputation, but it should have been done two days ago, now it’s risky. If you carry on with this drainage and it loses hold, and the swelling progresses, you’ll be driven to amputate and it will kill him.”

Adam looked at Joe “What do you think?”

Joe sighed heavily, but his brother needed the facts “He was only conscious once for a few minutes, but he begged me not to let them cut his arm off.”

Adam stared down at Hoss, “It’s a gamble either way Doc, what ever we do might kill him?”

Doc nodded “It is now.”

Adam made up his mind, gently taking hold of his brother’s left hand, “Well I guess we don’t change horses midstream, If we have to gamble lets play for the highest stakes. No amputation. I want my brother to live but I know he doesn’t want to be crippled, we’ll leave him to fight it.”

Doc looked at the two brothers both white and drawn, the elder of the two obviously in pain, and sensed how close the family was. “I don’t agree but I’ll do all I can to help. Let me know the instant there’s any change. Meanwhile my wife has prepared lunch, I’ll bring you some along.” He went out leaving Adam and Joe facing each other. Joe agreed with his brother’s decision “I think that’s what I would have done but I am so glad you came. I didn’t think you could be here before midnight. You must have ridden all night.”

Adam said, “I thought if the Doc had amputated, you might both need some help.”

Joe squeezed his shoulder, “Come and sit down you look exhausted.”

Adam managed a grin, “I don’t think I really want to sit down Joe. I’m rather stiff and very sore.” He rubbed his aching backside. And Joe smiled in sympathy “that I can believe it’s a long way. Unless I miss my guess, your back is aching badly too.”

Adam didn’t answer and Joe slipped out as Adam turned his attention to Hoss, who was restless,

Little Joe went along to the Doc and asked if he had some pain killer, explaining that his eldest brother wasn’t long back on his feet, from a bullet in the gut, which had injured his back and that Adam hadn’t been on a horse for months before yesterday. Doc had been able to see something was wrong, but he was surprised again at this family, where one member would risk such a ride to reach another's sickbed. He gave Joe a packet of powder and told him to mix it with a little water and get his brother to take it. Then suggested that Joe should persuade his brother to spare half an hour to have a bath before he really stiffened up. Doc offered the use of his own bedroom and Joe gratefully accepted on his brother’s behalf.

When he got back, Adam was having trouble holding Hoss still. Joe took over from his brother and gradually Hoss fell quiet. Joe handed Adam the powder and some water and said “Take this, it’ll ease your back off and when you have eaten Doc had offered you a bath in his room.” Adam grinned at that “You’re a good organiser little brother and that’s one offer I won’t refuse, but don’t fuss about me.”

Just then the Doctor’s wife came in with two trays full of food. Adam thanked her and apologised for all the trouble they were causing her family. She smiled “You’re more than welcome. I just hope your brother recovers.” Her husband had told her that Adam wasn’t fit and she was impressed by the closeness between the three brothers, as she said it made a very pleasant change form the squabble s an jealousies they so often saw.

As they ate Joe asked Adam how their father was. He wouldn’t look up from his plate, not wanting to meet Adam’s eye. Adam said, “Pa’s going to be fine. He’s still tied with his leg. It was broken, he had a bad fall from Buck in Rock Canyon.”

Joe looked up at Adam at that and Adam told him exactly what Ben had said. Adam smiled, “I told you I always doubted that you really hurt Pa. Now you know why he flew off the deep end, fever, pain and temper talking. He wants you home so that he can apologise and I think you have both well and truly paid for your outbursts of temper.” Little Joe was so relieved to hear that he hadn’t harmed his father that he was close to breaking down, he stood up and went over to the Hoss and changed the cold compress wanting something to do while he composed himself. Adam lay back in the chair and closed his eyes, hoping the painkiller would hurry up and work on his throbbing back and head.

Joe looked at him and he left Hoss for a moment going over to his eldest brother. He gripped Adam’s shoulder “I’ll watch Hoss, go have that bath and thank you for straightening things out with Pa.”

Adam eased himself to his feet “There wasn’t anything for me to do Joe. You never really needed an intermediary between you and Pa.”

Joe grinned “I guess not, maybe we just needed our heads knocked together.”

Adam dryly commented “That thought had crossed my mind! I won’t be long Joe call me if there’s any change.”

Adam was back down half an hour later feeling much better as the pain killer took effect and the hot bath had cleared some of the stiffness. Joe was holding Hoss still as he babbled in delirium. Adam took Hoss’ left hand and placed his other hand on Hoss’ forehead. Then Adam began talking quietly to Hoss assuring him that everything would be okay. Gradually his voice penetrated to Hiss who murmured “Adam.”

Adam was relieved to have called back his brother’s wandering wits and he lent a little closer, “Joe and I are here Hoss. We’ll take care of you, everything is going to be fine.” Hoss grunted but he seemed to rest a little easier. Adam gently pushed his brother’s hair back at least Hoss was resting for the moment, but he still had an alarmingly high fever and until they could break it the outcome was debatable.

As Joe changed the wet dressing, Adam had a look at the arm “It looks to me as though the swelling is down slightly.”

Joe shrugged “I’m not sure, at least it’s no worse.”

Throughout the rest of the day the brothers sat either side of Hoss, talking quietly from time to time. Adam told Joe verbatim what their father had said. Joe tried to persuade his brother to go and rest but Adam said, “Hoss can’t take an awful lot more of this. It’s going to go one way or the other in the near future. I’m not leaving him.”

Doc came in and checked Hoss around 6 p.m. and had to agree, the fever was rising and it would break or kill him during that night. The swelling in his arm was definitely going down and amputation now wouldn’t help. The poison in his arm was draining away, it was the poison already in his body, which he was fighting, and there was no way to help him. Hoss was delirious all the time by late evening and his brothers could no longer recall his wandering senses. All they could do was to try and hold him still so that he didn’t expend his waning strength on threshing around. Doc was almost sure that Hoss was going to be dead by morning and told his wife as much.

Adam knew the odds and all he could do was pray. Little Joe was thoroughly scared for his brother and became convinced that he should have allowed Doc to amputate when he had first arrived, in which case by now Hoss might have been well on the way to recovery. Adam knew that Joe would always blame himself if Hoss died, but there were no words to help his brother.

At the Ponderosa Ben had shut up in a shell scared for Hoss, worried how Adam had made out on the long ride and unable to do anything but wait for news. He carried on the business of the ranch, arranging the orders for the men and seeing to the accounts. Only a close observer could have seen how little of his mind was on the work and how much was crying out with the need to be with his sons. Carole was consoling herself that under the circumstances no news was good news, but she was very restless. She didn’t have any work to bury herself in and couldn’t settle.

That evening they sat by the fire with coffee Carole was staring into the fire but hearing Ben sigh she looked up, “Adam should be with his brothers by now.”

Ben nodded “He’ll let us know as soon as there’s any news. They will send a messenger out from town as soon as word arrives.”

“The longer he holds on the better his chances are.”

Ben rested his chin in his hand and then said, “I hope so. It sometimes seems that I’ve spent the last thirty-one years of my life worrying over my sons. I’ve never worked out whether they are really accident-prone or whether with three boys in wild country it was inevitable. But what with childhood ailments, falls and of later years bullet wounds and heartaches, one of them always seems to be in trouble. I don’t know why we want children, they are such a worry.”

Carole smiled at him “You worry about them because you love them, but its obvious how much their companionship and love for you mean. You wouldn’t be without them.”

Ben stared into the fire “No of course I wouldn’t and I don’t want any of them to be different from what they are. It’s just that I hate it when they are ill or hurt.”

“In some ways you are very lucky. Think how badly Adam and Joe were hurt in the spring and they have recovered completely. Hoss will too.”

Ben was very sombre as he watched the flickering light “That’s what worries me, one of these days our luck is going to run out. Each time something happens I wonder if it’s this time.”

In Fallon as midnight approached Adam and Joe were both wondering the same thing. As though it had done its job, the swelling in Hoss’ hand and arm had almost completely gone, but Hoss was very weak, breathing stertorously. The fever continued to mount whatever they did and they both knew that Hoss couldn’t last many more hours. Doc was sitting in with them but the brothers were doing all that could be done. Adam had decided that the only one who could help was God and he was praying hard. Joe couldn’t even seem to do that. He had long since decided he should have allowed the amputation instead of risking his brother’s life. He was in his own private hell, which even Adam’s presence and his final decision didn’t help. Adam knew how Joe felt and that if Hoss died, as seemed increasingly likely, Joe would never forgive himself, nor would he believe that Adam or Ben would have made the same decision.

Soon after midnight Doc said “That fever is killing your brother, he won’t last until morning. I want to take a chance to break the fever.”

Both brothers looked up at that and Doc went on “Its a treatment I’ve read about. It’s been used in the treatment of typhoid with varying success. I want to pack the whole body with ice. It can break the fever; the risk is that the heart won’t be strong enough to take the shock and just gives up. It is a risk but I think it’s your brother’s only hope.”

Adam and Joe looked at each other and Joe nodded slightly, Adam said, “Let’s try.”

It took the combined strengths of the three men to hold Hoss as icepacks were applied. He fought against them furiously as the blanket wrapped ice was placed round his body but after ten minute he seemed to rest easier. For tow hours they sat in silence and then Adam who was sitting by his brother’s head said “Little Joe it’s broken.” The words came out almost reverently. Joe turned and came over and saw his brother’s face wet with sweat. Doc checked and then began removing the ice packs “You’ve won the big prize I think he’ll make it.”

Adam looked down at his big brother “Thank God.” He helped Doc remove the ice and wipe Hoss down before wrapping him up warmly. Then he went over to Joe, who had sunk down in a chair and was crying unashamedly. Adam passed his hip flask to Joe, who gratefully downed the neaT brandy. Then he sat up and wiped his face, “I’m fine Adam.”

“Sure you are Joe but you look as though you could do with some fresh air. Go and rouse the telegraph operator and send word to Pa.” Joe nodded and went out. It was a beautiful clear crisp night, stars shining brightly and the whole town asleep in the early hours, in a way Virginia City never was. Joe stood for a moment drinking in the silence of the night and now he was able to pray and he offered a heartfelt thank you for his brother’s life. Despite his tiredness, there was a spring in his step as he went down the street, which had been absent for the last month. The man, who ran the telegraph, wasn’t pleased to be hauled out of bed but Joe was persuasive and gave him ten dollars for his time, which clinched it. He sent a long telegram to his father and then headed back to his brothers.

Adam was almost out on his feet when Joe got back. Now Hoss was going to make it and no longer needed him, lack of sleep and the long ride were catching up with him. Joe took one look at his brother and took his arm "I booked a room at the hotel three blocks down, yesterday morning. I’ve got the key and you need the bed.”

Adam tried protesting, “You’ve had no more sleep than I have.”

“True brother but I started off fit and I haven’t had backache all day. Come on Hoss will be okay for five minutes. You are going to bed.” Adam couldn’t even formulate an argument and he was very grateful for his brother’s supporting arm. When they reached the room Adam accepted Joe’s help to get off his boots and he took off his belt and then lay down. Joe smiled “I’ve sent word to Pa and Hoss is gonna be fine. You get some sleep.” He tucked the blanket round Adam and his brother was asleep before Joe had even straightened up. Joe gently brushed his brother’s hair. He knew just how much the long ride had taken out of Adam and that his brother had been in pain throughout the long vigil, but he had been very grateful to have him there.

Joe left Adam to sleep and went back to sit by Hoss. Hoss was asleep and likely to remain so for several hours and Joe dozed as he sat by his brother.

Joe’s telegram was taken out to the Ponderosa as soon as it arrived, under an arrangement Ben had made years earlier, whenever there was trouble or a particular tag appeared on the telegram. The fourteen year old son of the livery stable owner was always willing to ride out, whatever the time, knowing that the Cartwrights were more than generous if it meant a night journey.

Ben was up and sitting by the fire with a brandy, he had been unable to sleep and after tossing and turning for hours had got up. He heard someone at the door and gingerly made his way over to the door, using the cane that Doc insisted on. When he opened it, Billy grinned and held out the telegram “From Joe Sir, Hoss is gonna be okay.”

Ben took the telegram as if in a daze and found a couple of dollars for Billy. He offered coffee but Billy wanted to get back and refused. Ben took the telegram and sat down by the fire, with it still unopened. He was scared to open it and learn his big kind-hearted son was a cripple. Eventually knowing he had to find out sometime, Ben ripped it open and scanned Joe’s message. He saw the words no amputation necessary and let the telegram fall, unable to read through the mist of tears of relief. Ben was sitting staring into the fire thanking God for his mercy when Carole came down. She had heard the door and come down to find out the news. Ben woke out of his reverie on hearing her coming and quickly read the rest of the telegram. He smiled up at Carole “Joe sent word. Hoss is going to be alright without any amputation. Adam is there, rather stiff and tired, but alright and Joe sends his love.”

Carole sank down by Ben and buried her face in his lap. After a few minutes Ben lifted her up to find her face wet with tears. “Were you that worried about Adam?”

Carole shook her head “Not Adam, Hoss he’s so kind and gentle I didn’t want him crippled.”

Ben kissed her forehead “I waited a long time for a daughter but Adam did me proud.” They sat quietly together for a long moment and then Carole said “I’ll go heat up some coffee.”

Ben smiled “Good idea.”

Adam slept for six hours and woke feeling much better, although he was terribly stiff. He washed his face and went downstairs for coffee and some food before heading back to his brothers. Joe was pleased to see him “You look better. I didn’t expect you so soon. I thought you’d sleep the clock round.”

“I’m okay and it’s time you got some sleep.”

“In a bit, he’s been murmuring and I think he’ll wake up soon. I’ll hang on for a bit and see how he feels.”

Adam grinned at his youngest brother “You kept your promise, noone has hurt him.”

Joe sighed, “For a while last night I’d have given anything to turn the clock back and have allowed Doc to amputate as soon as I got here. Now I’m so very glad I didn’t.”

“We gambled and we were very lucky.”

Then they heard another murmur from the bed and they both moved close to Hoss. Hoss opened his eyes and for a moment he couldn’t focus and then as things came clearer he saw his brothers. His voice was very weak but they heard their names “Adam, Joe”

Joe moved closer and stroked Hoss’ head “Everything is okay Hoss Take it easy you’ll be fine.”

Adam lifted Hoss’ head slightly and fed him some water. For a moment Hoss was content just to look at his brothers smiling down at him and then memory seeped in and in a sudden panic he pushed himself up. Adam held him still easing him back on the pillows. "Joe told you everything was alright Hoss he didn’t let the Doc amputate.”

Hoss’ eyes went to his right arm still in a wooden box and covered with wet dressings and Joe sensed that his brother would only rest easy when he’d seen with his own eyes. Joe lifted off the dressings “It’s in a hell of a mess Hoss we had to drain out the poison but it will be fine.” Hoss made the effort to move his fingers. It sent stabs of pain through him but they moved and he grinned at his brothers. Joe redressed his hand while Adam went to fetch some broth the Doctor’s wife had waiting for them.

Hoss was terribly weak and his arm felt as though it was on fire but he was content with his brothers with him. He had missed them but at least now they with here and he trusted their word that he would be fine. Hoss let Adam feed him the broth and then lay back too weak to talk but able to watch his brothers. Adam sent Joe to go and get some food and then use the bed at the hotel catch up on his sleep. Once Joe had gone, Adam reassured Hoss that everything was going to be fine, their little brother was alright and the quarrel between him and Pa was over. Hoss relaxed at that he had been very worried about his little brother, he lay watching Adam for a while and gradually slipped back into sleep. Adam sat by his brother, he knew Hoss would recover but for the moment his big brother was desperately weak and it was going to be a long job for him to regain his strength. In many ways it had been a disastrous year for them and Adam was very conscious of their good fortune in surviving the injuries. He sat quietly by Hoss only half awake for several hours.

Doc came in and checked Hoss’ pulse and temperature. Adam looked questioningly at him and the Doc smiled “He’s okay. I’m not quite sure how, but as your other brother said, he must be a very strong man. Now it’s just a case of building up his strength.”

“How long will it be before we can move him home to our ranch? It’s nearly a hundred miles but there is good road all the way.”

“Rather depends on how anxious you are to get him home. Ideally he should stay put for a couple of weeks.”

“Problem is my father has a broken leg and is tied to the house, not only does he need to see Hoss and vice versa, but Joe and I ought to get back to do our share of the work.”

“Guess we could look after your brother.” Doc said rather doubtfully, visualising his little wife trying to help such a big man, but Adam shook his head “No. Thank you very much, but we came too close to losing him. I don’t think either Joe or I could leave him until he’s a lot stronger and by then he’ll be fit to move.”

“Well it rather depends on how he goes on, but I would think if you took it easy, he could be moving in four or five days.”

Adam smiled “If I know my brother he will be eager to get home.”

“He’ll stay here until he’s fit to travel.”

“I’m sorry we are such a nuisance to you and your wife.”

Doc grinned “We’ve had worse problems but I must admit not many bigger I’m glad you and your brother are here to help with the nursing, he’s much too heavy for my wife.”

Adam grinned down at his big brother “It takes me all my time.”

Over the next four days Adam and Joe spent most of the day with Hoss, splitting the evening and night so that one slept while the other stayed with Hoss. For the first couple of days Hoss was too weak to even talk much but he sat and listened as his brothers filled him in on what they had been up to since they had last seen him. By the third day he was strong enough for Adam to help him sit up and he immediately started to fuss about going home, insisting that he was strong enough to travel the following day. Adam consulted with the doctor who suggested that they wait one more day but agree to make a move then to stop the big man fretting.

Joe had been sending regular reports to Ben and he sent word when they would be leaving and expected to take three days over the journey. He had arranged to hire a wagon which one of the hands could bring back and had bought a mattress, blankets and pillows to make it as comfortable as possible for Hoss. The Doctor’s wife had made broths and meat jellies and packed them up, so that all they would have to do was to heat them through for Hoss. Adam and Joe were very grateful for all she had done for their brother, spending quite a lot of time cooking tasty nourishing meals that he could manage in his weakened state and also insisting on feeding them. They were determined to show their gratitude. Adam had noticed when she had insisted on sowing a button back on his shirt for him that her sowing things were all over the place. Down town he had spotted a superb sowing basket, like the one that Carole had chosen in New York. He suggested to Joe that they buy it for her as a thank you present. Little Joe thought it was a great idea and Hoss agreed with his brothers but Joe flatly refused to walk in a shop and ask for a sowing basket. Adam wasn’t struck on it but as Joe pointed out it was his place to do it as the only married man. Hoss had to laugh at the expression on Adam’s face and his brothers, glad to hear him, joined in. In the end Adam went and bought the basket, it cost him eighty dollars but luckily he still had plenty of cash on him from his trip east.

When the time came for them to leave Adam went to pay the Doc’s fee. Doc said, “Under the circumstances my fee is five dollars a day. Hoss has been here seven days so that will be thirty-five dollars.”

Adam smiled at him “We can never really repay you, if it hadn’t been for your help our brother would have died. Money can never repay that but at least it can indicate our gratitude.” He counted out $350 and gave it to the Doc, who was left speechless. Doc knew these men were wealthy but there was no need for them to pay him so lavishly, especially as if he had had his way their brother would have been crippled. He was even more surprised when Adam asked if his wife could spare them a moment. Doc called her in and she brought a large apple pie that she had baked for them to take along. Joe and Hoss grinned at that but left it to Adam to say “We are all very grateful for the food you have given us and for all your kindness and we’d like you to accept this as a small token of our gratitude.” He handed over the sowing basket, it was well wrapped and she stood holding it. She was astounded not expecting anything and looked over at her husband “You’d better unwrap it dear.”

She did so and gave a soft ooh of surprise and pleasure, she had seen the basket in town, but it was much too expensive for her or any of her friends and it had remained in the window for months. She looked at Adam “You shouldn’t have, its much too expensive.” Adam just grinned and Joe said, “You are very welcome, we are all grateful.”

She looked round at the three brothers all smiling at her and just said, “Thank you very much. I shall treasure it.”

Hoss wanted to walk out but Adam vetoed that and just helped him into a wheelchair and took him out to the wagon. It took Joe and Adam all their combined strength to lift Hoss into the wagon and five minutes to settle their brother as comfortably as they could. Hoss was determined to get home and tried to hide how much the move had exhausted him. He didn’t succeed very well but his brothers just looked at each other and didn’t comment. Joe was driving while Adam rode alongside with Buck and Cochise tied on the back. Joe was determined to take it real easy, not wanting to tax the strength of either of his brothers.

Hoss lay back and closed his eyes as Joe drove out of town. His brothers had made him a nest of blankets on the mattress, which was in turn on a base of straw, and it was quite comfortable but there was no way to counteract the jolting on the muddy roads and Hoss couldn’t sleep. Adam was watching his big brother carefully and after a couple of hours, when he saw Hoss twice have to restrain a groan, he told Joe to pull up for a while. They had covered nearly ten miles and Adam reassured Hoss, the horses needed a breather. Little Joe built a fire and put broth and coffee to heat. They had sandwiches but Adam only wanted coffee and Joe looked suspiciously at his brother. “Are you alright Adam? I can’t cope with both of you.”

Adam smiled “I’m fine Joe, just not hungry.”

Joe wasn’t convinced, but his brother’s colour was okay, so he just made a note to keep a close watch on him. They had more immediate problems as Hoss made his feelings about yet more broth very clear. He wanted something more substantial. Adam promised him that he could have what he liked once they got him home but until then he wasn’t risking going against instructions.

After feeding Hoss, Adam and Joe wandered over to the fire. Joe asked “Do we carry on or let him sleep for an hour.”

Adam sighed looking over at his big brother “If I was sure he’d sleep I’d say wait but I think he’ll just fret. He wants to get home so I guess we’d better carry on.” Joe could only agree and then asked “Do you want to carry on riding or do you want to drive?”

Adam pulled a face “I’d rather ride Joe, if you don’t mind driving.”

“It’s okay with me, I can’t risk you getting sick. I can’t handle Hoss alone.”

“Adam began to lose his temper “I’m alright. For goodness sake stop fussing, it’s just the jolting of the wagon gives me backache.” Joe wasn’t at all convinced that his brother was free from backache anyway but he didn’t push his luck. Hoss was very quiet as they continued on their way home. His whole body was throbbing in sympathy with his arm and he had a blinding headache. He shut his eye but the jolts of the wagon went right through him. He knew he only had to speak and his brothers would make camp but he wanted to get home to his own bed and make sure his Pa was okay. So he gritted his teeth and did his best to hide from his brothers how rotten he felt.

Adam let Joe carry on through the afternoon and by early evening they had covered just over forty miles. As they reached a small river Adam said, “I think that is far enough for one day.” Joe pulled the wagon off the road and then got into the wagon to rearrange the blankets and pillows for Hoss. Hoss insisted he wanted to get out and come over to sit by the fire. Joe looked over at his eldest brother and Adam shrugged “There’s not much point in arguing with him. I’ll give you a hand.” Between them they lifted Hoss down and supported him over to a rock where he sat down and lent back against it, nursing his right arm, as his brothers made a fire and got food underway. He was very white and drawn but despite his pain he was grinning. Adam went and sat down next to him as Joe started cooking “What are you grinning at Hoss?”

“It’s been sometime since we shared a camp fire. I was just thinking of all the times we have. Its real good to have you both home.”

Adam cuffed his brother very gently “It was one hell of a way to welcome us home you big moose.”

Hoss grinned broadly “It wasn’t exactly planned.”

After they had eaten Adam suggested that Hoss get back into the wagon but Hoss was insistent that he’d rather sleep by the fire. As the light faded his brothers got the blankets and pillow from the wagon and did all they could to make him comfortable and then settled down themselves. Joe was asleep almost as soon as he lay down but Adam couldn’t settle, his back very painful. About an hour later Adam realised Hoss was still awake. Hoss was threshing around unable to get comfortable and Adam moved over to his brother “Do you want a drink Hoss?”

Hoss looked up at his older brother “I thought you were asleep.” Adam knelt down by him and gripped his brother’s shoulder “No. Joe’s well away but I’m not that sleepy.”

Hoss reached up to grip his brother’s hand “I wouldn’t mind a cup of coffee.”

Adam heated some up and lifted his brother to lean against him and gave him the coffee. For a while they sat in companionable silence sipping coffee and then Adam tried to persuade Hoss to go back to the wagon sure that it would be more comfortable but Hoss wouldn’t listen to the suggestion. Eventually Adam gave up “Come on old son you must get some sleep, we still have a long way to go. Use me as a pillow.”

Hoss protested “I’m too heavy.” But Adam insisted he was quite comfortable and Hoss three quarters asleep anyway fell asleep with his head on his brother’s lap. Adam lent back against the rock and dozed on and off as he awaited morning, content that his brother was getting the sleep that he needed.

Little Joe woke up just after dawn and he was surprised to see Adam holding Hoss. Adam was awake and very quietly he said, “Heat up some coffee will you Joe.”

Joe quickly stirred the fire and put coffee onto heat and then moved over to his brothers “Have you been holding him all night?”

“Yeah he was a mite restless.”

“Have you had any sleep?” Joe asked worriedly.

Adam smiled at his little brother “Some. I’m fine Joe just a bit stiff and very thirsty.”

Joe took the hint and went over to check on the coffee. By the time it was ready Hoss was awake and he sat up guiltily “I didn’t mean to keep you awake Adam”

Adam squeezed his brother’s neck affectionately “You didn’t Hoss I slept too.” He pulled himself to his feet and stretched, turning away from his brothers, unable to hide the pain from his stiff back, but if faded fairly quickly and he busied himself getting breakfast.

Joe and Adam got their big brother settled back in the wagon and made an early start. The closer they got to home, the more withdrawn Joe became, as he faced the idea of seeing his father, even with Adam’s reassurance that everything was alright and that he hadn’t physically harmed Ben. Joe wouldn’t feel comfortable until he’d seen his father and yet he was dreading the first meeting. Hoss was feeling the effects of the previous day and felt rotten and Adam was struggling to sit upright, his back aching so badly after a sleepless night. So it was a very subdued and quiet trio of brothers who made their way homewards.

At the ranch Carole had spent a lot of her time with Ben, who was anxiously awaiting his sons return home. They had had regular telegrams from Joe and knew Hoss was out of danger, but Ben couldn’t settle until he’d seen for himself and he wanted to talk to Joe.

When Ben was busy Carole had gone over to her house, the shell was just about complete and there wasn’t a great deal she could do until Adam was home, but she had directed the men in the arrangement of cupboards that she wanted in the kitchen.

She had managed to arrange the temporary storage of the things that they had ordered in New York, which were arriving continuously from Reno. With Ben’s permission, Carole had Red doing continual round trips to collect the furniture and other items.

Carole was amazed just how much she missed Adam. She hadn’t been sleeping well, restless without her husband next to her. She was amazed just how quickly she had got used to having him with her. She knew she would have to face a lot of separation, Adam had his work to do, he had once reckoned that he spent half of his time sleeping away from home, but this was the first one and she didn’t like it.

Ben kept himself busy, with all his sons away he had plenty to do with paperwork brought in from all the centres of work. He was eager to get out and round the ranch and Paul had promised to consider it, when his sons were home to go with him, but for now he was forbidding it. Ben would dearly have loved to go against Doctor’s orders, but every time he thought of it, he would remember a time when he had insisted on his sons obeying. He knew if he didn’t do it himself, he would have lost all chance of imposing orders on them, next time it was necessary. Even without rides out Ben kept busy all day and part of the evening but only part of his mind was occupied. In the background all the time was the worry about his sons and the longing for their return.

After lunch Adam and Joe were very dubious about starting out again. Hoss was beginning to run a temperature again and he was obviously very tired. Hoss wouldn’t listen to their arguments and he was obviously getting upset, so the brothers got him settled down in the wagon. The brothers returned to clean up the campsite and Adam sighed heavily “I don’t see that we have any choice, he’s going to use more energy if he loses his temper than if we move on.”

“He’s running a fever again.”

“I know Joe, but all we can do is to keep him warm. I’ll be glad when he is tucked up in his own bed and Paul has had a look at him. Just take it real slow.”

They set out and after a while Hoss fell into a restless sleep. Adam rode close alongside keeping a close eye on his big brother but he didn’t stir. As evening approached Joe asked where they were going to stop, it was still nearly twenty miles home. Adam checked the horses “They can make it Joe, as long as we keep it slow. Hoss is still asleep, so let’s carry on as long as he stays that way.”

Joe studied his eldest brother “How about you Adam? You look whacked.”

“I shall be very glad to get home but I’m alright, just sleepy.”

Little Joe didn’t bother pushing it but he kept a careful watch on Adam who was dozing off in the saddle from time to time.

Eventually they were within a mile of the house and so Adam left Joe to bring in the wagon while he went ahead and arranged things, knowing they weren’t expected until the following afternoon. He wanted Hoss’ bed warmed and ready for him and Joe at least would need food, they hadn’t eaten since lunch.

Adam rode into the house to find it quiet, with every one in bed. Very stiff and sore with his back very painful, Adam grabbed a brandy and gave it ten minutes to take effect before going to wake people. He made his first stop on Hop Sing, who was very glad to know they were all home. Adam explained that they hadn’t stopped since lunch and that Joe would be hungry, although Hoss was still on light foods. Hop Sing immediately headed out for the kitchen to prepare food. Adam went with him to get some warming pans and took them up to put in Hoss bed before going into his father. He was grateful for the dim light, which hid his exhaustion from his father. Ben hadn’t been sleeping well, but tonight exhausted he had fallen asleep as soon as he got to bed. Adam shook his father’s shoulder gently and Ben opened his eyes to stare in disbelief at Adam. Suddenly scared he sat bolt upright. Adam smiled at him, “It’s alright Pa take it easy, nothing wrong. Hoss was fast asleep so Joe and I kept going and he should be here in ten minutes. I rode ahead to get Hoss’ bed warmed and some food.”

Ben sat for a moment recovering from the shock and then asked, “He is alright?”

“He’s very weak and his arm is mess and still very painful. Running a slight fever after the journey. You’ll think he looks terrible but he looks one hundred percent better than when I first saw him. He must have lost thirty pounds but the important thing is that he will make a complete recovery, just a matter of time”

“Okay son. You had better go to your wife I’ll get up.”

“Can you manage on your own?”

“Sure go to Carole.”

Carole was awake and had heard voices. She was just wondering whether to get up and investigate when Adam came in. Almost before she had realised he was there, Adam had pulled her close for a big hug, if she had missed her husband the feeling was very definitely reciprocated. For a long moment they just held each other tight and then Carole pulled away a little to study her husband. The signs of strain, pain and lack of sleep were apparent and she could tell he had backache and probably a headache but he was content to be home. Adam grinned “I’m okay just tired, Joe should be here any minute Hoss was asleep so we kept going.” Carole kissed him “I'll be down just give me a minute.” Adam gave her another kiss and then hearing the wagon he went down.

Joe brought the wagon in and tied the horses to the hitch rail. He was just waking Hoss as Adam came out. Hoss was bleary eyed and it took a minute for his brother’s words to sink in and for him to realise he was home. His brothers let him take his time to pull himself together, and then they helped him out of the wagon. Adam moved to support his brother and very slowly led him into the house and over to sit by the fire. Ben was making his way downstairs as his sons came in and he immediately looked for Joe. However Joe had wanted a few minutes to compose himself before facing his father and had taken the horses over to the stables. There were five of them and it would give him time.

Ben went over to his big son and anxiously scanned his face. The pain and weakness was very apparent but Hoss was smiling “Its real good to be home Pa.”

Ben gently gripped his son’s shoulder “You should have told me how bad it was, you should never have gone with the herd.”

“I didn’t realise Pa. It didn’t seem serious.”

Ben ruffled his son’s hair “No matter now the important thing is you’ll be just fine. Hop Sing is cooking.”

Hoss brightened up at that “I’m starving Pa. Please tell Adam I can have something other than that dadburned broth.”

Ben felt his forehead, his big son was running a slight temperature, but it wasn’t serious and he looked over at Adam, who just shrugged. Ben decided that if Hoss fancied something more substantial it was unlikely to do any harm and he nodded. Ben poked his head into the kitchen to tell the cook to put another steak on for Hoss. Carole had come down and she went to the brothers. She knew how ill Hoss had been but even so she was shocked at how drawn the big man was.

Ben left the three of them by the fire and went out to the barn to find his youngest son. Adam and Hoss looked at each other and Adam gripped his brother’s shoulder “It’ll be okay Hoss. They’ll be better on their own for a few minutes.”

Ben stood in the door watching his youngest son, who was making work for himself, putting off the moment when he had to go and face his father. Then Joe sensed his father’s gaze and turned round. For a moment Joe stood still and father and son stared at each other across the barn, each tracing the signs of strain on the other’s face. Then Joe moved slowly towards his father, he didn’t take his gaze from his father’s eyes until he reached him and then he stared down at the ground “Please forgive me Pa.”

Ben put his arms round his son pulling him into a tight hug, he couldn’t speak past the huge lump in his throat and he just held him close. He wasn’t even aware of the tears running down his face. Eventually Joe pulled away slightly and looked up at his father, he raised one hand and wiped away the tears “I can’t remember ever seeing you cry Pa.”

Ben smiled at his son and reciprocated wiping Joe’s face “Look whose talking Joseph.”

“I’m so sorry Pa, please forgive me.”

“There’s plenty for you to forgive too. I didn’t mean it.”

Little Joe managed a watery smile “Do a deal Pa?”

“I think we’ve both paid for our stupidity over this last month, it never happened did it?”

Joe nestled closer to his father “Of course not Pa, it’s so good to be home.”

Father and son stood quietly together for a moment looking over at the Sierra Nevada taking time to calm down and then arm-in-arm they went into the house.

Carole had gone to help Hop Sing but Adam and Hoss looked up as the door opened. They could both see the ravages of emotion on their father’s and brother’s faces but that didn’t matter seeing them arm-in-arm. The brothers grinned broadly, separation and quarrels were over and could be forgotten. Adam went and poured out five brandies and handed them round, calling Carole in to join them, and then for a moment forgetting his tiredness and aches, he showed his total delight with life “I propose a toast, to the Cartwrights.” They all drank and then Joe began demanding food.

An hour later when they had all been fed and Hoss made comfortable in his own bed. Ben went into Joe’s room. Adam exhausted had retreated to bed with his wife. Joe was standing staring out over the mountains, the view that he loved. Ben went over to him “It’s good to have you home Joseph.”

Little Joe half turned to his father “I missed this view so much. I did everything wrong Pa. She didn’t even want me without the Ponderosa. She said she loved a rich young man and I was no longer him. I couldn’t come home, not then. You were right and they said I’d beaten you up and I was so furious I couldn’t be sure I hadn’t.”

Ben put his arm round his son’s shoulders “I know Joe we both did it all wrong. I was so worried about you out there somewhere, rejected on all sides confused and miserable. I think the week before Hoss got home was the worst I have ever spent and I had no real peace until Adam sent word that you were with him. Still it’s all over now Son.”

Joe pulled away from his father and stared out of the window. Ben asked quietly “It is over isn’t it?”

Little Joe didn’t answer for a long moment and then he swung round to face his father, his eyes burning intense “I still love her Pa. I can’t get her out of my mind. I see her wherever I look and I’d marry her tomorrow if she would have me.”

Ben had never realised how much in love his son had been, she had, by all accounts been such an unlikely person for Joe to fall for, After a minute he said, “Will you ask her again?”

Joe shook his head “I’m not sure. My pride won’t let me at the moment but if she was here I’m not sure how much pride I’d have.” With that he swung back to stare out of the window. Ben changed the subject and asked Joe how his brothers were. Joe assured him that they would both be fine. Adam was just short of sleep with all the travelling and he’d be fine after a couple of night’s sleep. Hoss had been weakened by the poison and the high fever, it would take a while for him to recover his strength. He sketched in briefly how close they had been to losing him and how nearly he’d had to give in to the amputation. Ben could fill the details in for himself and he said, “God is good to us.”

Joe didn’t argue with that sentiment. Ben gripped his son’s shoulder for a moment needing the physical contact to reassure himself that all was well between them “You look exhausted Son, I’ll see you in the morning.”

Joe looked up at him “You are alright Pa?”

Ben grinned, “A family of cripples. I still need a stick and Doc wouldn’t let me ride until you were all home to keep an eye on me but otherwise I’m fine. I can throw this stick away in another couple of weeks.”

They all slept late the following morning and Ben was surprised to find himself the first down, considering it was nearly nine. He had looked in on Hoss but his big son was still sleeping. The quiet of his own bed had had the effect of dropping his temperature to normal and Ben was reasonable content about him. Paul Martin was due out that evening to check him and there seemed no reason to change the arrangement. Ben has just poured himself some coffee when Little Joe came down yawning widely. Ben poured more coffee and handed it to his son. Joe grinned “It’s good to be home Pa.” He had slept better in his own bed than he had the whole time he’d been away and he felt a lot better for it. Carole soon joined then but she’d left Adam asleep. Joe told them that big brother had earned a lie in and explained how Adam had supported Hoss the night before to ensure he slept. In the event Adam was the last down. Hoss had decided that he’d had enough of bed and he got up and dressed himself. He was half way down before his father saw him and Ben hurried over to his big son “What are you doing out of bed?”

Hoss grinned “Fancied some company.”

“You should have called I’d have been up.”

“I’m okay Pa, I promise to sit quietly but I’m fed up with bed.” Ben shook his head in disgust and helped his son over to the fire. He did insist on Hoss wearing a sling to support the injured arm and, as it was still very painful, Hoss agreed.

When Adam finally came down he found his whole family sitting around the fire. Little Joe curled up on the hearthrug leaning against his father’s knees as though he needed the physical contact to convince himself the quarrel was over. Adam stood on the stairs for a moment watching them, all the people he loved together. Ben and Hoss were still invalids and even Joe had some weight to put on after his nightmare journey but they all looked content.

Then Carole saw him “We were wondering if you were getting up today.”

Adam grinned “Less cheek Madam, go perform your wifely duties and get me some coffee.” Carole came over to him and he gave her a kiss before she went to fetch coffee ,Adam went to sit down noting the time “Guess I’d better wait until lunch for food.” He studied his big brother “How are you feeling this morning?”

Hoss grinned “All I need is some of Hop Sing's cooking.”

Soon the discussion came round to ranch business, with Ben hurt and Adam and Joe away, there was a lot of outstanding work, things Hoss had just had to leave. Adam went and got a pad and began noting down just what needed doing. Carole sat and watched as the brothers slipped back into the life they had always known, They were dressed as normal and she couldn’t help thinking that her friends and relatives would barely recognise them. She couldn’t do anything to help, except keep them supplied with coffee, and eventually went and got some of the material they had bought and began cutting out curtains.

After lunch Ben insisted Hoss went back to bed for a sleep and as it was all he really felt fit for he gave in with only a token protest. Adam helped his brother upstairs and got him settled, but at his father’s suggestion that he could do with a doze, he laughed. “Pa I’ll never sleep tonight! But if you could do without me for a couple of hours I’d like to see how my house is progressing.”

Ben clapped him round the shoulders “Only too eager to get away from us?”

Adam laughed “Can you blame me?” Ben had no answer and Adam went out to find Carole.

The work had progressed well and everything was as he intended. He spent a very satisfactory couple of hours ordering the work for the next few days, the placing of the fireplace, the wooden panelling and bookshelves in his study. Carole let him get on with it, he could make his wishes understood in a way she couldn’t approach. In minutes he did a job which had taken her hours even though she’d known just as clearly what she wanted. As she stood looking round at the chaos it seemed impossible that it could be finished in six weeks, but Adam had firm plans for a house warming party on December 1^st. As she looked round she decided that one thing the place needed was a dog. She had always had one around while she was growing up. It was only the last few years she hadn’t had one, but there weren’t any around the Ponderosa, and she wasn’t sure how Adam would take the suggestion, There were plenty of cats around the stables but none of them were pets and anyway she’d always preferred dogs. She determined to wait and pick her moment to ask. At length well pleased, Adam led her up the staircase and into the main bedroom. It had a small dressing room leading off it and was connected through to a room he hoped would become a nursery. His main aim had been to ensure that the view from the window was, as near as possible, the same as the one he loved from his room in the main house. He was delighted to see that his positioning had been spot on the views were virtually identical, He held Carole close to him as he stared out at the view “I just pray that this house is as happy as the main house has been. We’ve seen tragedy, illness, even quarrels, but in the main it’s been a happy house.”

Carole looked up at him “That’s because it’s a house full of love, this one starts with the same advantage.” Adam held her tight and kissed her, passionately and suddenly felt the need to return home, to the privacy of their own room.

That evening Paul rode out. He was pleased with Ben’s leg and said that he could ride if he wanted, but to take someone along for a couple of weeks just in case and he could dispense with the cane just not overdo things. The bone had healed very quickly but he shouldn’t push his luck. He told Adam and Joe to keep an eye on him but as Adam pointed out their father was impossible to control, Then the Doc went upstairs to see Hoss, whom they had persuaded to stay in bed. Doc removed the dressings from his arm and for the first time Ben saw what a mess it was where they had had to drain the poison out. Doc got Hoss to move his fingers and wrist to ensure there was no permanent damage and then cleaned up the wounds and rebandaged it. It hurt Hoss and he lay back and closed his eyes. Doc made a thorough examination and then told Hoss to get some sleep, it was the best cure. Hoss forced his eyes open “Doc, Little Joe told me that it was your advice saved my arm, just wanted to say thanks. I’m real grateful.”

Paul smiled down at him “I was just glad that it was successful Hoss, now get some sleep.” Hoss grinned weakly after the pain of the dressing, all he wanted to do was to close his eyes and slip into that other world, where he could forget the throbbing of his arm and head for a while,

Ben went down with Doc to join Adam and Joe. Carole brought in coffee and cakes and as Paul sat down he smiled, “Don’t look so worried Ben. He’ll be fine. I know his hand looks a mess but it’ll heal up. Won’t even leave that much in the way of scars. He is still very weak but that’s only to be expected. Don’t let him overdo it but he needn’t stay in bed. Let him get up if he wants to, provided he doesn’t start running a temperature, which he will if he overdoes it. He’ll regain his strength in the next few weeks. There’s probably still some effect of the poison in his body but it will disappear gradually. The only prescription is good food, rest and as much sleep as possible.”

Ben smiled “Thanks Paul that’s a load of my mind. You must admit he still looks ill.”

Doc shrugged “From what Joe’s been telling me its a miracle he’s as fit as he is. He’s only alive because he’s so strong and maybe he’s got his share of the Cartwright stubbornness.”

The other three Cartwrights laughed at that. After a companionable hour Paul left, and Joe tired opted for an early night. Adam and Carole excused themselves too, wanting some time alone. Ben was left sitting staring into the fire, but he was very content. He had all his sons home safely upstairs, his eldest more content than he had been in years. Ben could finally forget the fear of Adam leaving, with Carole by his side, his son would build the life he had always wanted and he knew his son would be a wonderful father, he’d had enough practice with his brothers. Hoss was recovering and even the nagging worries about Joe couldn’t spoil Ben’s mood. Joe had learnt his lesson he wouldn’t leave home again and problems would be faced as necessary as they always had been, together.

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