A WHOLE LOT OF BULL
By Moreau

Adam took his six year old baby brother with him to check on fences near Chad Creek. Joe sat in front of his big brother holding Sport’s reins and chattering away about everything in sight or came into his little mind.

Adam realized this was probably the reason his father ‘insisted’ Joe go along with him today. Ben needed a rest from this little fire cracker at least for a few hours.

“Adam can I ask you something? “ Before Adam could answer Joe piped up “Hoss said our new bull is going to make babies, how he gonna do that iffen he is a boy?”

Why do I always get stuck with these questions Adam asked himself.
“How do you think that happens Joe?” Answer a question with a question, sometimes the better tack to take as far as his little brother is concerned.

Joe sighed having to explain this to Adam. “He asks the cow if they could marry up, everybody knows that. He kisses the cow and they play piggy- back. I still don’t get how?”

“Joe maybe you better talk to Pa about it.” Adam said slightly blushing.

“Gee Adam are ya hot or somethin’ you look awful red. Pa said to ask you about it today since we were riding out here. It’s not a secret is it? Like buried treasure?”

Adam vowed to speak to his father for putting him in this spot. He imagined his father was having a good chuckle over this.
“No Joe it is no secret to make baby cows, I mean calves. You take a bull and an open cow. “Open Adam, you don’t mean split open like when we butcher.”

“No Joe uh I mean a cow that is ready to receive the bull. “Receive Adam?”

Oh lordy how am I going to get this out. “Ask the lady cow to play piggy-back. If all goes as planned then some months later you have calves.

“Yeah but would if me and Mitch play piggy back does that mean?”

“NO Joseph”, Adam said with frustration. You have to have a boy and a girl. They uh fit together like a puzzle piece.” Adam regretted it as soon as he said it. “Puzzle? Sounds like fun for the bull, but I never saw games in the barn Adam.”
“Joe could you give it a rest for just awhile?” Adam pleaded.
After a few precious peaceful moments....
“Our bull is mean Adam.” Joe said.

“How do you know how mean that bull is Joe? You haven’t been teasing him again have you?” Adam asked dreading he knew the answer to that question already.

“No, but when Bessie and Flora were brought to the barn to meet him, he acted mean toward them. Those are two sweet gals Adam and if he can’t get along with them that means he is too mean. He snorts when they are around and butts his head against the fence.”

Adam had to laugh, “Those gals you call them. are two cows who think our bull is the best thing since sunshine little brother. And you know you’re not allowed in there when they are uh getting married.” Adam admonished him.

“I went to Aunt Becky and Todd’s wedding. And this is Bessie and Flora, family is family Adam, geez.” Joe said shaking his head.

“Ok we will discuss you being in the barn later, why do you think our bull is so mean?” Adam said wondering where this conversation is going to go.

“He shouldn’t bellow at them, it even scared me a little, and I am not a poor cow. I think we ought to name it Mr. Hansen, he acts mean like him.” Joe stated.

Adam stopped Sport short.
“Joseph we don’t talk about our neighbors like that. It’s disrespectful.” Adam said.
“Just observin Adam, don’t get mad.” Adam wished Joe hadn’t learned to talk at this point let alone using his new word ‘observin’.

“I am not mad. I don’t think Pa would appreciate you talking about your neighbor that way. It is not respectful is it? ”Adam said trying to be firm, but understanding Joe’s feeling toward the man.

“Sorry Adam.” Joe leaned against his brother for reassurance.

Mr. Hansen was a devoted bachelor. He was not someone the females in town would consider a catch. He was a miser and grumped at the township whenever given the opportunity. It wouldn’t be the first time Mr. Hanson yelled at Joe for trespassing.

“Mr. Hansen didn’t have reason to yell at you recently did he Little Joe?”
Joe was a might quiet then.
“Joe?”
“Well he did tell me and Mitch to get out of his orchard a week ago. We was just hiding from Thomas and Billy. We weren’t stealing apples like he thought.” Joe said fidgeting with the reins.
“Did you tell Pa?” A week ago Joe was sent to his room, but that could have been for most anything these days.

“Yes I told him, especially after Mr. Hansen came over asking Pa for $5 for apples. Pa didn’t take to Mr. Hansen’s atti-attitudes. So he asked me if I stole apples. I told him no and we were playing there but we didn’t take any apples. Pa believed me. But sent me to my room for not telling him where I was.” Joe said looking up briefly to his big brother’s face.

“You are lucky that is all Pa did buddy.
Let’s get this job done.” Adam said as he stopped at the break of the fence line. It was a quick repair thankfully.

“Well Joe you did such a good job today, Pa might have to hire ya full time.” Adam said rubbing Joe’s curly head.

“Adam, maybe if he hired me, I won’t hafta go to school right?” Joe said hopefully.
Chuckling Adam gave him a quick hug. “Brother, if anyone can convince Pa of that it would be you.”

The ride home was spurred on by their hunger. Little Joe was even hungry which was saying something.
“Have a nice ride?” Ben asked his two sons upon their return.

“It was ‘interesting’ Pa. And Pa, he still has a lot of questions so you are not out of the woods yet.” Adam said with a smirk.

“You boys get washed up. We are having dinner guests tonight. Mr. and Mrs. Anderson and Mrs. Anderson’s mother Gertrude Briton.” Adam groaned.
“Something wrong son?” Ben said lifting his brow.
No sir. I will make sure Joe is cleaned up for dinner.”
Rachel Briton-Anderson was a family friend; she married Wilfred Anderson two years ago. Adam thought Wilfred just didn’t fit out here in the wilds of Utah. He always seemed to hold everything out here in disdain. Gertrude Briton was very prudish. She and Ben were involved with the school board. Gertrude also headed the Ladies of Virginia City Society.
“Pa, why the dinner guests tonight? You haven’t seen them in ages.” Adam asked.
Gertrude was in the bank today, she wanted to discuss this years July celebration and picnic. She mentioned her daughter and husband were in town, so I invited them out.” Ben said knowing Adam had reservations about Wilfred. You will present your best manners young man, just as you and your brothers have been taught.”
“Yes Pa, of course. Better keep off the subject of bulls though.” Adam said as he walked away chuckling.

Hop Sing was busy getting his table prepared.
“Little Joe help Hop Sing, go fetch more potatoes from cellar.”
“Aww Hop Sing, I am not supposed to get anything on this shirt and you know me.”
“Yes I know lazy boy who need Hop Sing’s spoon on butt, now go do as Hop Sing say.” Joe gave up and went into the cellar fetching more potatoes.

Adam found Hoss getting dressed and putting on his string tie all wrong. Adam helped his thirteen year old brother with his task.
“Hoss be careful how you explain the finer things about bulls and cows to Little Joe would you. He has some wild ideas. He wasn’t supposed to be near that barn when the bull was uh ‘marrying’ those cows.” Adam said with a raised eyebrow.
“I know, the little scudder hid in the loft and got a good view. He was shooed out of there, but I think he got an eye full.” Hoss said turning redder by the minute.
“Well hope he don’t mention his ‘observin’s at dinner.” Adam said finishing Hoss’s tie.

The dinner guest arrived right on time. Gertrude was never late in her life.
“Welcome, welcome,” Ben said extending his hands to the ladies helping them down off their carriage. “Wilfred welcome, hope you are well.” Ben added.
“Nice to meet you sir. I am fine Mr. Cartwright, aside from my sore back. Can’t work too long of hours.” Adam noted a roll of the eyes from Gertrude; obviously a sore subject.

“Adam, Hoss always a pleasure.” Gertrude said coolly. “My don’t you have an third somewhere Benjamin?” Joe appeared from behind Hoss.

“Here I am Mrs. Briton” Joe said openly.

“Well, you are growing into a fine looking young man.” Gertrude said

“Thank you ma’am.” Joe said beaming.

“Yes he is isn’t he?” Rachel chimed in. “And Hoss you are going to be a very strong man someday. Rachel observed. He was only thirteen but already almost as tall as his older brother.

“Yes, ma’am thank you ma’am.” Hoss had blushed brightly.
“Adam, always a pleasure to see you.” Rachel said with a mischievous grin.

“Thank you Mrs. Anderson.” Adam said hopefully reminding the young bride she IS married.

Ben ushered them inside the great room.
“Wilfred what are you doing these days?” Adam inquired. Wilfred put his hands in his pockets. “Working on accounts for Mrs. Briton and such.”

“Oh, that is good.” Adam said half hearted.
Rachel was a few years older than Adam. “You have a lovely place here Mr. Cartwright. Hope someday to have a house built on daddy’s property near Dutch Creek. It would take some saving first.” Rachel said, knowing very well any saving was far from Wilfred’s plans.

The dinner was served. The dinner was going quite well until Gertrude asked Joe what he has been doing this summer.
“Been observin’ Mrs. Briton.” Joe said bright eyed and ready to join in an adult conversation.
Adam groaned.
“You mean observing?” Gertrude corrected.
“Yes ma’am been observin-g some things on the ranch. I told Adam about it today on our ride.” Adam tried to pass the biscuits, note the weather lately but Joe wouldn’t be stopped.

“Did you know ma’am that our bull isn’t too good at rumantics when it comes to Betsy and Flora. But they think he is the greatest thing since sunshine?”

“Oh?” Gertrude still confused on what Joe was trying to say. “Who is Betsy and Flora? Do I know them? They must be new in town.” Gertrude said half listening.

“Der our cows ma’am, Big Billy’s new wifies.” Joe said with more enthusiasm.

“Ben you surely don’t let this youngster near a bull do you? Especially when....”

“No of course not Gertrude.” Ben said trying to catch his young son’s attention.

“Joseph, have you ‘played any new games?” Rachel said hoping to distract him from his bull.

“Not as much as our Bull Billy has. Did you know bulls plays puzzles. That is what Adam said, something about fitting their piece with the cows piece. But Billy is best at playing piggy back with the girls until he can hardly breathe. What’s the matter ma’am you chokin or something?” Joe said looking at Gertrude composure.

Gertrude was turning a blue color. Adam quickly stood and patted her back. Rachel was three shades of red and had spit out her wine all over herself.”

“Pa?” Joe didn’t like the color his Pa’s eyes were turning. He wasn’t sure he said anything wrong. Maybe the ladies were sick or something and Pa needed him to be quiet.
Wilfred hid his grin in his napkin. “Mr. Cartwright maybe I better take the ladies home.”
Gertrude agreed quickly. “Ben I hope you have a long talk with the boy, he seems uh a little too curious in the activities of the barn.” Ben was too embarrassed to do anything but nod.

“My apologies Gertrude, Rachel, Wilfred. They all nodded and stood up to leave. Joe came forward. “I am sorry you’re sick. I know you have a bad back Mr. Anderson, maybe you hurt it when you were playing piggyback in the livery in town with Sue.”

The room went silent. Rachel lost all color. She took Joe’s chin in her hand. “Joe you saw Wilfred and Sue? Was that Sue Lars? Joe looked panicked. His Pa was at a loss.

“Yes ma’am they musta of been having fun. Mitch saw them too giggling and laughing but it was dark in there. All I know Mr. Anderson must of have a bad cough or something, he was breathing like our bull...Ben cut him off before he had to gag his mouth to silence him.
“Upstairs now, you wait for me directly.” Confused Joe went upstairs not looking back.

Wilfred looked like he was trying to crawl into the nearest hole. “We are leaving? Rachel ordered. Wilfred followed behind with his tail tucked. Gertrude fanned herself some air. “Ben when you throw a dinner you really make it memorable.”
“I am sorry Gertrude, I will speak to the boy.”

“Ben, he told was he had seen, lucky for us it doesn’t appear he seen too much only heard a lot. Hope my Rachel can make the right decisions from now on. Too bad she didn’t see the bull in her Wilfred.”

“Yes Gertrude, a whole lot of bull.”

The End

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