WHN Blood
on the Land
By: Nanuk
Joe glanced
over at his father who sat slumped in the red chair and gazed pensively
into
the fire. He sighed. Two days had passed since they had freed Adam from
Drummond, and since then Ben had been abnormally quiet.
Something
must have happened between their father and Adam, Joe mused, because
Ben had
excused Adam from almost all ranch duties to go and have a bit of time
off –
the reason why it was Joe who now had to fight with the books. And yet,
he knew
there was more on Ben’s mind, the true reason why he had given Adam
time off,
and why he watched him closely every time he was around.
Hoss came
into the room and after a glance at Ben walked straight to Joe.
“He at it
again?” He nodded his head to the living room.
Joe
grimaced slightly. “Yeah. He’s been like that for the last hour or so.”
He
closed the ledger and sat back. Pondering he squinted up at Hoss.
“And you’re
sure that nothing happened up there? You didn’t notice anything
unusual?”
Hoss just
shrugged. “Nope. Pa’s been Pa, and Adam…well, it wasn’t as if he coulda
done a
lot right then.”
Joe stood
up. “Well, I guess the time is right to just ask him. He can’t go on
like
this.” Hoss opened his mouth to stop him, but Joe grinned. “And if he
doesn’t
stop watching Adam’s every move, older brother will get so mad that
there’ll be
no living with him.”
Ben,
oblivious to the talk behind him, still sat gazing into the fire. When
Joe
moved over to him and shortly touched his shoulder, he flinched, then
apologetically
smiled at his youngest.
“I’m sorry,
Joe, I didn’t hear you. Hoss.” He acknowledged their presence with a
tired
smile and rubbed a hand over his face. “I guess I was lost in thoughts,
huh?”
“We wanted to
talk to you about that”, Joe stated quietly. He laid a hand on Ben’s
knee.
“Are you
alright?”
Ben,
startled, hastened to calm his sons. “It’s nothing. I’m alright,
nothing to
worry about.”
Judging
from the dissatisfied looks on their faces he went on.
“Really,
I’m fine.”
Joe and
Hoss looked at each other, then back at Ben, and he could tell they
weren’t
convinced. His features softened at the concern he saw in their eyes.
He smiled
warmly at them, thanking God for the gifts He had given him.
“You know
that I love you, don’t you?”
Their faces
flushed an embarrassed red, but then they smiled and grinned shyly at
him.
Hoss
cleared his throat. “Aw, shucks, Pa, we love ya, too.”
“I know you
do, sons. I know you do.” He leant back in the chair and smiled at
them. Their
faces were still heated, but the serious mood with which they had
approached
him seemed to have faded a bit.
“Are you
sure you are ok?” Hoss, concerned as ever when it came to a member of
the
family, watched his face.
“I’m fine,
boys. Just thinking. It’s the season, I think.” He yawned suddenly,
making them
break out in giggles. He drew his brows together in mock reprimand,
then
grinned at their faces. He could tell he hadn’t managed to destroy
their
worries, but at least he had eased them
a bit, and of that he was glad.
Already now
they were giving each other challenging looks as to who should bring up
the
next game of checkers, each as eager to win as the other.
He
winked at them, then eased himself out of
the chair and stretched to get the kinks out of his back.
“You go
have fun. Your old father is getting an early night. Sleep well, Joe.
Night,
Hoss.” He stopped short at the bottom of the stairs.
“Don’t forget
we have to check the stream at the mill tomorrow.” He laughed out loud
as he
saw their crestfallen faces. Still chuckling, he made his way up the
stairs.
The
hilarity didn’t last long. Passing Adam’s door, he stopped short, hand
on the
wooden frame. Immediately he heard words in his mind that he didn’t
want to
hear, words that lingered in his memory.
Reaching
his room, he closed the door and sat on the bed. God, what had he done?
When
had he lost his focus that he couldn’t tell anymore what was important
to fight
for and what wasn’t?
He didn’t
know how much time he had spent lost in thoughts when laughter from
downstairs
rose him from his stupor. A door banged, and a deep voice mingled with
the
other two, teasing, joking.
He sighed.
Yeah, Hoss and Joe loved him, and knew he loved them. And what about
Adam? Did
he know he loved him? Unbidden, Adam’s words came back to his mind,
words that
had haunted him ever since that dreadful afternoon.
“It’s not
worth it,
Ben
clenched his fists.
It’s not
worth it. My life isn’t worth 5000 acres of land, that was what Adam
had been
saying to him.
Ben’s heart
ached. Had he lost so much focus that his child thought a bit of land
was more
important to him than his sons? His hand involuntarily gripped the
blanket.
A soft
knock on the door interrupted his sombre thoughts.
“Pa?”
Adam’s soft voice, filled with hardly disguised concern, floated
through the
wood. “Are you ok?”
Ben took a
deep breath when he heard the love in those simple words. He quickly
wiped a
hand over his eyes, then straightened up. He would tell him, and
perhaps it
wouldn’t be too late.
----
The end