WHAT'S WRONG WITH
PA?
by
Lynne C
For several days now, Adam, Hoss and Little Joe had been concerned
about their father's frequent disappearances, and his reluctance to
tell them where he'd been going. Ben very rarely kept anything from
his sons, except things like birthday and Christmas surprises, and so
it did strike the boys as being quite unusual, and that was why they
were discussing it.
"Maybe he's got himself a lady friend?" suggested Joe, giggling
as he
said it. "After all, Pa's still fairly young, I guess, and he deserves
a bit of fun."
"Iffen he has gotten himself a gal, then good luck to him, I say,"
said Hoss. "But there's no need fer him ta keep it a secret, is there?"
"Unless she's someone that he thinks we wouldn't approve of," said Adam.
"What? Like a saloon gal, do you mean?" said Joe.
"Or an actress?" said Hoss.
"Yes, something like that," said Adam. "Or it could be someone
we
know, but don't like that much."
"Not ole widow Pettigrew?" said Joe. "I can't stand her
and she hates
my guts. If Pa's gonna marry her, then I'm leaving home."
"I doubt if Pa would ever want to go out with the widow Pettigrew,
buddy," said Adam. "She's at least ten years older than Pa and
not
exactly a beauty."
"She sure ain't," said Joe. "She looks just like those chickens
that
she loves so much, and have you noticed that when she talks, she kinda
thrusts her head forward, just like a chicken does?"
This made both Adam and Hoss laugh, although Adam did tell Joe not to
repeat such remarks around their father, if he valued his hide.
"I cain't think of no one that I don't like," said Hoss.
Joe started laughing, again.
"Hey, Adam, maybe he's planning on marrying Abigail Jones. I don't
think you'd like her to be living under our roof, would you?"
Joe was referring to the schoolteacher, who had a pretty big crush on
the oldest Cartwright son.
"No, I wouldn't, but she's never shown the slightest interest in Pa,
except when she's wanted to see him, in order to tell him about your
latest round of mischief, little brother," said Adam.
Joe knew this to be the truth, as he did get into an awful lot of
trouble at school, so he thought it wise not to say any more on the
subject of Miss Jones.
"Well, I can't think of anyone else that Pa might be seeing that we
wouldn't approve of," said Adam. "Unless it's someone from out
of town
that we don't know."
"Whoever it is cain't live far away, cos Pa ain't missin' that long,
when he goes out," said Hoss.
"Maybe one of us ought to follow him?" suggested Joe.
"No, I don't think we should do that," said Adam. "I know
we're all
anxious to find out what he's doing, but he is entitled to his
privacy. If he wants us to know, he will tell us. Until then, we just
have to bide our time, and wait for Pa to decide when to tell us."
"And what if he decides not to tell us?" said Joe.
"In that case, we won't ever know, will we?" said Adam.
Little Joe wasn't the patient type and so he found it hard waiting to
see if Ben was going to tell them what he was doing. After three more
days went by and his father was still keeping quiet, Joe's curiosity
got the better of him and he decided to follow Ben, the next time he
went off, without saying where he was going.
It was obvious that Ben wasn't bothered about covering his tracks and
so Little Joe found it very easy to follow his father. Ben rode out to
a quiet spot on the ranch and dismounted from Buck. He then walked up
a hill, and once he reached the top, he began to yodel. At least,
that's what it was supposed to be, but in fact it sounded more like
someone trying to strangle one of the widow Pettigrew's chickens, and
not making a very good job of it.
Joe couldn't help himself, he started laughing, and as the boy had a
rather high pitched, distinctive giggle, it wasn't long before Ben
became aware that he was being spied upon.
He stopped yodelling and adopted the voice that had ensured he was
heard, even when on the deck of a ship, in a Force 9 gale.
"Joseph, just what in blazes are you doing here, spying on me? You
should be at school."
"Erm, hi Pa. Well, you see, it was like this. Me and Adam and Hoss,
we
were getting real worried about you, sneaking off like you were, and
not telling us where you were going. And I began to think that maybe
you were sick, or something, and after hearing that noise you were
making, just now, well, I'm sure you must be sick."
"What I do, in my spare time, young man, is nothing to do with you,
or
your brothers. However, what you do, when you should be at school, is
everything to do with me. It would appear that you need a lesson in
what happens to boys who disobey their father and play hooky from school."
After Ben had administered the lesson, he told Joe to return to the house.
"It's too late for you to go to school, now, so you can spend the
rest
of the day in your room, that is, until it's time for you to do your
evening chores. Go on, get along home and you'd better be in your room
when I get back, or I will have to repeat the lesson."
"No need for a repeat, Pa," said Joe, rubbing his backside. "I'll
be
in my room when you come home, you can count on that. But before I go,
will you please tell me what you were doing? I reckon I've earned the
right to know."
Ben was tempted just to shoo the boy away, but it didn't really matter
if the boys knew what he was doing, so he decided to tell Joe.
"I am practising my yodelling technique," said Ben. "Miss
Jones has
insisted that all the members of the school board take part in the end
of year pageant, and she wants us to do a song, which has a yodelling
chorus. Now, I think I have a fair singing voice, but I've never
yodelled before, and I wanted to get in some practise before I tried
doing it, in public."
Joe began to laugh, again.
"I'm sorry for laughing, Pa, but if you want my opinion, I don't think
you are ready for a public performance, just yet."
"Your opinion matches mine, son," said Ben. "Not only am
I not ready
to perform in public, now, but I don't think I ever will be. Yodelling
is not something I do very well, but I don't know how I am going to
break the news to Miss Jones."
"Do what I do, when she gets us all singing, Pa. Just mime when you
get to the yodelling bits. You'll be fine with the singing, cos you
have a great singing voice, but leave the yodelling to the others.
Miss Jones won't be able to tell if you're doing it, or not, if there
are several of you singing together."
And that is exactly what Ben did. When the members of the school board
got up to sing their song, Ben just pretended to sing the yodelling
parts. No one realised, and the audience gave them a standing ovation,
for being such good sports and taking part in the pageant.
THE END
Little Joe forever
Lynne
May 9th 2006