BOSS HOSS
By
Lynne C.

Hoss had been moping about the ranch, looking rather sorry for
himself, for a couple of days, now, but no one could get him to open
up and say what was wrong with him.

His father and brothers were getting quite concerned and were
discussing the problem, over coffee and cookies, in the main room of
the Ponderosa ranch house. Hoss was in town, collecting supplies.

"I know he wasn't that happy when I turned down his suggestion of
buying that bull from Tom Ferris," said Ben. "But, it just didn't feel
right, to me, and although I don't often disagree with his judgement,
I did, this time."

"Same here, when we rode over to Carson to have a look at that brood
mare he was talking so much, about," said Joe. "She was a real fine
animal, but I reckoned she was just a bit too highly strung for any of
our stallions, and the resulting foals would be hard to break. He got
real mad with me, even though he did admit, grudgingly, that I was right."

"When he and I checked out that stand of trees, last week, he was
angry when I said they were ready for cutting," said Adam, after
finishing his coffee. "I know he always get a bit emotional whenever
we chop down a tree, but this time he was really angry and said I was
wasting the chance of making more money from them, just because I was
being impatient."

"Even as he was leaving for town, this morning, he was grumpy," said
Joe. "All I asked him to do was to say hello to Daisy, while in town,
and he just about bit my head off, and said he didn't know if he would
be seeing her."

"What? Not seeing her?" said Adam, really surprised. "I can't recall
him ever going to town and not calling in for a snack and a chat with
Daisy. Maybe he's not feeling too good?"

"I haven't noticed him eating less, but then he often eats more when
he's ill," said Ben. "He reckons it chases the germs out of his body.
If he's not any better, by the time he comes back from town, I think I
will confront him, and make him tell me what's bothering him."

"Sure would be a lot happier, around here, if he cheered up," said
Joe. "I hate it when Hoss is outta sorts."

"We all do, Little Joe," said Ben. "Well, best get back to work,
there's still plenty to do. Come on, boys."

Adam and Joe reluctantly left the house, as they were both genuinely
worried about their brother and wanted to know what was ailing him.

Ben stayed in the main room and was soon poring over the ranch
accounts, a task that always put him in a bad mood.
Hoss announced his return to the ranch, by slamming the door,
prompting a rebuke from his father.

"Is it absolutely necessary for you to always slam that door, as you
enter the room?" shouted Ben.

"Nope, not necessary, but I just felt like it," replied Hoss, and Ben
nearly fell off his chair, with shock, at the way Hoss had answered him.

Adam and Little Joe would often come back with a smart retort, if Ben
complained about them slamming the door, but Hoss was always the one
to apologise and to be the most respectful to his father.

"Okay, I've had enough," said Ben, slamming his hand down on the desk,
and causing his papers to scatter all over the floor. "For days, we
have all been pussyfooting around you, like you were made out of
glass, scared to ask you the simplest thing, for fear of getting our
heads bitten off. Whenever we ask what is wrong, you just say
`nothing' or ignore us, well, that isn't going to wash any longer,
Hoss. I want to know, right here and now, what is on your mind?"

Hoss did not appear to be listening to Ben; he was too busy staring up
at the map of the Ponderosa. It was situated on the wall, behind his
father's desk, and Ben would have been very surprised if he'd known
that Hoss was actually thinking `Some day it's all gonna be mine.'

"Erik, I am talking to you," yelled Ben. "At least show me the common
courtesy of listening to me."

"Huh? Oh sorry, Pa," said Hoss, and right there and then he decided he
would share what he was thinking, with his father. "I did hear what
you said and the thing that's on my mind is that I want more control
over the ranch. Unless something awful happens to you, and then to
Adam, I know, deep down, that I'm never gonna own the whole ranch, but
I've bin thinkin' what it might be like, iffen I did, and I'd like ta
give it a try. After all, I'm older than Adam was, when ya first left
him in charge, but since he's bin back from college, I ain't ever had
me a chance of runnin' the whole shebang. So, how about it, Pa? Can I
look after things, fer a while, and make all the decisions?"

Ben was certainly taken aback by this revelation. Hoss always seemed
to prefer being the one taking orders, rather than giving them, and
never appeared to be resentful when Adam was left running things, in
Ben's place.
He thought it over, before he replied.

"Well, I don't see why not, son. As a matter of fact, I could do with
going to Sacramento, for a few days, and it would be helpful if Adam
came with me. And I'm sure that Joe wouldn't mind having a few days
holiday, while Adam and I sort out the business, or he could even sit
in on the meetings, and maybe learn something. You can put two of the
hands on to doing Adam and Joe's chores, and that way you'll be free
for all the important decision making."

"Sounds good to me, Pa," said Hoss, and he and Ben shook on it.

Adam and Joe were pleased to know that there was nothing physically
wrong with Hoss, but were rather worried about his mental state, when
they heard what he was proposing to do.

"It's a mighty big spread to look out for, all alone, Hoss," said
Adam. "It might be better if I stayed home, with you, just to help you
out."

"Thanks, Adam, but no thanks," said Hoss. "Iffen you were around, you
wouldn't be able ta help yourself and you'd be interferin' in whatever
I decided ta do. And then the men would obey you, not me, cos you're
older. I wanna do this, my way."

"I'll stay, if you like," volunteered Joe, who secretly thought he'd
have the chance to have more fun, if he stayed at the ranch, rather
than going away with his father and brother.

"Thanks, shortshanks," said Hoss, patting Joe on the back. "I'd rather
do this, all by myself, iffen ya don't mind."

So, Ben, Adam and Joe headed off for Sacramento, and Hoss remained, to
be in sole charge of the Ponderosa.

At first, he thought it was the easiest job he'd ever had. He wasn't
expected to do any of the more menial tasks, and so had plenty of free
time in which to do the important things that were needed to be done,
to keep a ranch as big as the Ponderosa working, as it should. Trouble
was, Hoss didn't really fully understand what all those things were.
He'd never been fond of book learning, when at school, and despite Ben
trying to teach him, had never been able to grasp the concept of
`doing the books'. Keeping an inventory and knowing when to re-order
vital supplies was something he always left to Pa, or Adam, except for
when it was household supplies, and then Hop Sing did it. The cook was
still there, to cook the meals and do the ordering for the household,
but not for anything else.
Then, he had several people calling at the ranch, who were expecting
to hold a business meeting with Ben, and so Hoss had to deal with
them. Also, there was a Mr Hargreaves, who was interested in buying
some lumber, normally Adam would've coped with that, and a widow lady,
called Mrs Stevens, who wanted Hoss to pick out a nice quiet, horse,
for her daughter. The girl was about sixteen and poor Hoss really
wished that Joe was there, to talk to her, as he was never very good
at small talk, especially with young girls, and Joe excelled at it.
On top of all those problems, he suspected they had a thief on the
payroll, as someone was stealing food, and other goods, from the
bunkhouse. It turned out it was all a mistake, and boy, was poor Hoss'
face red, when the real thief was uncovered and they found out it was
a crow, who was doing the stealing, and not the hand he accused.

The only area, where things went according to plan, was with the
cattle. The Army came by, to pick up their beef supply, right on time,
paying slightly more than the going rate, as they were so pleased with
the quality.

"Thank goodness fer that," thought Hoss, although he didn't have long
to rest on his laurels, when he discovered that at least half the
hands had headed off into town. It was the middle of the week, and
they were not allowed to go drinking, then. However, Hoss, rather
foolishly, gave them their bonus for doing such a good job with the
cattle for the Army, and some of them couldn't wait until Saturday
night, to spend it. They figured that with Hoss in charge, they could
get away with flouting the rules, as he was always such a good
tempered, easy going type of a guy. But then, he'd never been the boss
before.

"Dadburnit," said Hoss, to Hop Sing. "Now, I'll havta go and git them
back on the ranch, afore Pa gits back and sees what a danged mess I've
made of everything."

"You do that, and be quick about it," said Hop Sing, crossly. "Hop
Sing make all your favourite dishes, now you go away, just when it
time to eat."

"I'll try and be back, as fast as I can," said Hoss.

He rode into town, but by the time he got there, most of the hands
were already the worse for drink, and Hoss found it extremely hard to
try and persuade them to go back to the ranch with him.

A couple of the newer ones, who didn't know any better, started a
fight with Hoss, and soon an awful lot of the furniture in the Bucket
of Blood, resembled kindling. Hoss was forced to pay a huge bill for
the damages, or face jail, so he paid up and then they all returned to
the ranch.

By now, Hoss couldn't wait for his family to return, and when he saw
them riding into the yard, the next day, he fell upon them like he
hadn't seen them for months, rather than days.

"Oh boy, am I glad ta see you fellas back," he said, grabbing hold of
his little brother and lifting him off his feet. "If I ever git the
notion of wantin' ta run this place, alone, agin, jest hit me over the
head with a two by four, until the notion passes, okay?"

"Ah, I guess you discovered it's harder than it looks?" said Ben,
patting his biggest boy on the back, in an affectionate way.

"It certainly was, sure enough," said Hoss, grabbing hold of Adam's
hand and shaking it, so energetically that Adam begged to have it
released.

"So having your bossy, overbearing big brother around, to offer the
occasional bit of advice, is not such a bad idea, after all?" said
Adam, massaging his squashed hand.

"Nor having me here, to point you in the right direction, when it
comes to picking horseflesh, eh?" said Joe, trying to regain his
balance, after Hoss had swung him around, a few times.

"I jest said so, didn't I?" said Hoss. "That is, jest as long as you
realise that havin' me around has its uses, too."

"We've never said otherwise," said Ben. "That's what makes us such a
great team, we all have our individual skills to contribute, and so,
between us, we are invincible."

Just then, Hop Sing appeared in the yard, bearing a tray, containing
four glasses and a bottle of champagne.

"Hop Sing propose a toast," he said, as he filled the glasses and
handed them out. "To the Cartwright family, long may you stay together."

"Thank you, Hop Sing," said Ben, and he looked at his three sons and
smiled. "To us, boys."

THE END

Little Joe forever
Lynne
July 6th 2006

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