THE CAMERA CAN LIE
by
Lynne C.
Laura's thoughts
`Here I am, smiling into the camera, as Mr Cartwright gets a
photograph of his oldest son and his adoring fiancée, when all I
can
think of is Will. Why does life have to be so complicated? If only
Adam hadn't had the accident, Will and I would have told him how we
felt about each other, and by now we would be married and living in
San Francisco. But instead of that, I am here playing happy families
with Adam, Hoss and Little Joe, their father, and my little girl,
Peggy, pretending that all is fine. Oh, not that Adam isn't a lovely
man and I am sure he will make a wonderful husband for the right girl,
but it isn't me. I thought it was, at first, as he seemed to be
everything that my first husband wasn't. He was kind, caring, and
really seemed to understand what I wanted out of life. We appeared to
be in tune with each other, but then had our first disagreement over
my decision not to tell Peggy about her father's death. I know I was
being a coward, but Peggy didn't know what kind of a man her father
really was, and she idolised him. And I was scared that she would
blame me for his death, although, of course, I didn't have anything to
do with it.
I wish I knew what the future was going to bring. If I was sure that
Adam was going to recover, fully, then perhaps I could tell him that I
wanted to break off our engagement, and that I was in love with Will.
But what kind of a heel would it make me, if I walk away from a man,
now that he is a cripple? I can hear the gossips, already. Oh, she
only wanted Adam while he was fit and healthy. Has she never heard of
the marriage vows, which say `in sickness and in health'? No, as long
as Adam remains in the wheelchair, I will remain on the Ponderosa, and
I will make the best of it, for all our sakes.'
Adam's thoughts
`I wish I could tell her that I know how she feels about Will and that
I understand why she loves him more than she loves me. Pa tried to
warn me, a while back, saying that maybe I was only in love with the
idea of settling down and having a family, but not in love with Laura,
at least not enough to make a go of a marriage. But, being me,
stubborn and a bit of a know it all, I wouldn't admit it, definitely
not to Pa, and not even to myself, for a good while. It was kinda
funny, the way he burst into my room, to talk to me about Laura. It
prompted me to say it reminded me of when I was younger, and was in
for a tanning or a lecture, as he was certainly fired up, enough, for
either.
But then I began questioning my behaviour. I mean, what man, who is
genuinely in love, goes to his girl's home, and criticises everything
she does? Poor girl had just lost her husband and although he wasn't
a great loss, it meant she was alone, with a ranch to run and a child
to raise. I should have been helping her, not finding fault. I was
even telling her how to deal with her child, at one point, and now I
think about it, it makes me cringe. I had no right to do that; I've
never been a parent, and surely a mother is the one to know what's
best for her own child? Although, Laura was making a bit of a mess
over letting Peggy know where her father was. But still, it wasn't my
place to tell her so. And how could I have been so rude as to fall
asleep, whenever I was in her company? And what about the time I
missed the picnic, and Will took my place? I expect it was about then
that Laura began to have feelings for him. After all, why wouldn't
she? He's an attractive man, who obviously adores her, and he knew the
proper way to court a girl. He called with flowers and candy, and
entertained her with amusing stories, not with his snoring. She had a
fiancé who hardly ever spent any time with her, and when I did, I
was
always finding fault with her. I even managed to miss our engagement
party and I think that should have been the time, when she showed me
the door, but we carried on seeing each other. Trouble was, events
began to snowball, and before we knew quite how it happened, we were
heading for a trip up the aisle, still without being absolutely sure,
it was what we both wanted.
One thing I am sure of, though, is how I feel about Peggy. That little
girl has totally won over my heart and I know she's had the same
effect on Pa, Hoss and Little Joe. We are all gonna miss her,
something fierce, when she goes, but I am being honest, now, when I
say I won't miss Laura half as much as I will, Peggy.
So, I am now going to prove to Laura that I don't need her to
sacrifice her future happiness, just to nurse a cripple. I am going to
get up out of this chair, and walk across the yard, even if it kills
me. And I am going to stand by my father's side and wave to Laura and
Will, as they head off for their new life, together, in San Francisco.
I have allowed her to waste enough of her life on me, now is the time
to set her free.'
THE END
Little Joe forever
Lynne
July 15th 2006