THE LITTLE MATCHMAKER
by
Lynne C.

The day hadn't started well for Ben Cartwright, owner of the vast
Ponderosa ranch, and father of three fine, sons, Adam, Hoss and Little
Joe.

It was Saturday morning and a bright, summer's day. As Ben sat at the
breakfast table, drinking his coffee, he reflected on the fact that
life hadn't been that bad to him, so far. True, he'd had some
tragedies to cope with, losing all three of his wives, like he had,
but, as he looked around his comfortable home and thought, fondly, of
his three boys, who were all still asleep in their beds; he knew he
had a lot to be grateful for. Had he known that this was going to be
the last time he was going to feel that way, for some time to come, he
might not have been so complacent, but, like most of us, unless we are
clairvoyant, Ben had no idea of what was about to come.

He was just on the point of going to wake up his sons, when he heard
noises coming from upstairs.

`What on earth is going on?' he thought, but he didn't have any more
time to reflect on that question, as Little Joe came running down the
stairs, to tell him.

"Come, quick, Pa, Hoss is real sick and Adam's rubbing his back."

Ben was up the stairs much faster than one would have thought a man in
his mid forties was capable of moving, but when one of his children
needed him, Ben was always there.

"Whatever's the matter with him?" he demanded, as he ran into his
middle son's room.

Adam looked up, from where he was sitting, on Hoss' bed, and gave Ben
a rather sickly smile.

"Erm, it seems he's got an upset stomach, Pa, must've been something
he ate."

At that moment, Hop Sing, the family's faithful cook, housekeeper, and
mother hen, entered the room, carrying a bowl of water and a cloth,
with which to clean the floor.

"Hop Sing only give family best food. Never make them sick. Boy maybe
eat in town, that make him sick."

Adam knew that it was the amount of alcohol that his almost sixteen
year old brother had drunk, the night before, which was making him
sick, but wasn't about to share that news with Ben.
Their father had, reluctantly, given Adam and Hoss permission to go
into town, the night before, after Adam had completed his first full
week back at the ranch, since returning from college. Ben still
thought that Hoss was a little young to be going to the saloon, with
the other ranch hands, but Adam persuaded him to let Hoss go, and
promised to take care of his big, little brother.

"I won't let any harm come to him Pa, and he deserves a night off,
even more than I do. Since coming home, after fours years away from
ranch work, I've relied heavily on Hoss, to remind me how to do a lot
of things. He works ever so hard, and we'll only be gone, for a couple
of hours."

Against his better judgment, Ben let the boys go, although, he
realised, rather ruefully, that now Adam was twenty one, there wasn't
much he could do to stop the young man from going, if he had a mind
to. His eldest son had been living away from home, for four years, and
although some of that time had been spent at his grandfather's house,
he had also lived in rented rooms and been totally responsible for the
way he conducted his life. However, Ben liked to think that, had he
really objected to Adam going to town, the young man would have obeyed
his father, but he couldn't be absolutely sure about it.

With Hoss, though, it was a completely different story. The boy was
now working full time on the ranch, but, he was still only a boy, and
so Ben kept a fairly tight rein on him and his ten year old brother,
Little Joe.

The boys were actually gone for more like four hours, but Ben wasn't
angry about that. He'd gone to bed, by the time they returned, but was
reading, and both of them had just said a quick goodnight, through his
bedroom door, and gone to bed, without any fuss. What Ben didn't know
was that Hoss had drunk rather more than he was used to, or allowed
to, and was in a pretty bad state, when they returned. But, he'd
managed to say goodnight to Ben, without arousing his father's
suspicions, and Adam had helped him into bed. As soon as his head had
touched the pillow, the boy was fast asleep, and Adam hoped he would
wake up, the next morning, without any visible signs of how much
drinking he'd done, but that wasn't to be the case.

As soon as Hoss opened his eyes, his head began to pound and the room
started to spin, in an alarming manner. He knew he was about to throw
up, but couldn't make it to the wash bowl, in time. Adam heard him
first, and ran to his brother's aide, helping him back into bed, and
fetching the bowl. He sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing Hoss' back,
as the boy finished emptying the contents of his stomach.

Joe heard the commotion, poked his head round the door, saw what was
happening, and went to get his father. Hop Sing also knew there was
something going on, years of living with three boys gave him a sixth
sense for these things, and that was why he arrived with the bowl of
water.

Adam was hoping that his father would also assume that Hoss had eaten
something, in town, which had made him sick, but Ben wasn't fooled,
that easily.
From the smell in the room, he could tell that the cause of Hoss'
malaise was too much alcohol. And besides, Hoss was never sick from
eating; he had a very strong constitution, for food, at least.

Once he was sure that Hoss was all right, Ben stood up, and then
stared at both of the boys.

"Just how much did Hoss drink, last night?"

Hoss said nothing, he just groaned and held onto his stomach, and so
Ben looked at Adam, for an answer to his question.

"Erm, well, I'm not too sure, Pa," replied Adam, stalling for time.

"Did he have more than the two pints of beer I said he was allowed to
have?" said Ben.

"Well, sir, maybe he did, but I couldn't be absolutely certain about
it," said Adam.

"Why are you not certain about it?" said Ben. "I told you that the
only reason I was letting Hoss go into town, with you, was because you
promised to keep a close eye on him, and only let him have two pints
of beer. Now, you are telling me that you don't know how much he
drank. So, where were you, when you should have been looking out for
your brother?"

The truth was that Adam had been in the company of an attractive young
lady, but he wasn't about to tell his father about that.

"Aw, you know how it is, on a Friday night, in the Bucket of Blood,
Pa. The place gets packed to the rafters and there were a couple of
times that I lost sight of him, but I didn't think he'd had that much
to drink. Perhaps it was a bad batch of beer, or he did have some food
that wasn't up to Hop Sing's standards and it upset his stomach."

"I will ask you one more time," said Ben, his voice a lot lower, but
all the more deadly, for it. "How much did Hoss have to drink?"

"It ain't Adam's fault, Pa," said Hoss. "He did say I was only ta have
two beers, but I snuck in a few more. Guess I wanted ta act like the
other guys, ya know, be one of the men, but I ain't used to it and it
made me sick. I'm real sorry, Pa, and I won't ever do it agin, cos I
feel like I'm gonna die."

At these words, Ben began to calm down and he started to smile. He
knew, only too well, from his sailing days, what it was like being the
youngster, working with a group of men. And he also knew that drinking
too much was often the result when you were trying to impress someone,
whether it was your fellow workers, or a young lady, as he'd done it
himself, on more than one occasion. Not that he was condoning what
Hoss had done, but at least Adam had brought the boy home, and in one
piece, albeit a rather bedraggled piece.

"All right, you are forgiven, but please don't make any rash promises
about never doing it again, as, mark my words, you will. Best that you
stay in bed for the rest of the morning. I am sure that Hop Sing will
be able to fix you something to settle your stomach. Once you feel
well enough to get up, I will find some extra chores to keep you busy
and there will be no more evening trips to town, for the rest of this
month, okay?"

"Okay, Pa, and thanks fer not bein' too mad with me, or with Adam. It
weren't his fault, honest."

After leaving Hoss' room, Ben had a word with Adam, reminding the
young man of his duties as a big brother.

"You offered to be responsible for Hoss, last night," said Ben. "I
didn't say you had to be, but once you'd taken on the job, as with
anything you boys do, I expect you to see it through, until the end.
I'm not going to ask where you were, or who you were with, when you
should have been watching out for Hoss, as you are a grown man, now,
and, as such, deserve your privacy. But, please don't agree to look
out for your brother, in the future, unless you fully intend to do
just that. I know it's going to take time for you to make the
adjustment and that is why I am not making too much out of this, but
now you are home, you don't only have yourself to think about. As the
eldest in the family, you are going to be called upon, from time to
time, to take care of your brothers, and I have to know that I can
trust you to do so, in the same way I would."

"I am sorry, Pa. I was wrong not to keep an eye on him, but I had some
catching up to do, with an old friend, and it was rather awkward. In
future, I will try and carry out my duties as a big brother, a lot
more successfully."

"Well, at least you didn't neglect him, completely," said Ben, putting
his arm around the young man. "You got him home, safe and sound, and
that's the main thing. Are you going to have some breakfast, now? I'm
going into town, but I would like you to stay close to the yard and
house, while I'm gone, to make sure that Hoss is all right, and to
keep an eye on Joe, who has some chores to do, before he goes off to
play at the Devlin's place."

"After watching Hoss throw up, I think I'll give breakfast a miss, and
go and see to the horses," said Adam. "But, never fear, I will look
out for my brothers, so you can go to town, without worrying about
what might be going on, here at home."

Ben said goodbye to Joe, and reminded him of the chores he still had
to do.

"I won't forget, Pa," he said, kissing his father, before Ben left.
"And if I do, I'm sure ole bossy boots, here, will remind me."

Adam smiled and ruffled his little brother's hair.

"Yes, I will, and less of the old, please."

Normally, Joe wanted to go with his father into town, but as he was
spending the afternoon with his friend, Mitch, he wasn't that bothered.

The ride into town was a pleasant one, and Ben was feeling quite
relaxed, as he rode down the main street. But, before he had
dismounted from his horse, he heard his old friend, Sheriff Roy
Coffee, calling out his name.

"Be there in a minute, Roy," he said, and quickly tied up Buck, to the
nearest hitching rail.

When he arrived at the sheriff's office, Ben discovered that Roy was
not alone. There was a lady, probably in her mid thirties, sat on the
chair, by Roy's desk.

Ben tipped his hat to her.

"Oh, good morning, ma'am. Sorry for barging in like this, Roy, but you
sounded like it was urgent. I can come back, if you're busy."

"No, Ben, please stay," said Roy. "Pull up a chair and sit down. The
reason this lady is here is to do with you."

"With me?" said Ben, doing as Roy suggested, and bringing a chair from
the other side of the room, closer to the desk.

"Yes, Mr Cartwright," said the lady. "It is very much to do with you.
My name is Melinda Perkins and I am here, at your request, to marry you."

"You're what?" shouted Ben. "Did I hear you right? Marry me? I'm
sorry, ma'am, but you must have the wrong man. Do I look like I want
to get married?"

Ben stopped speaking and then, suddenly, he began to laugh, making
both Miss Perkins and the sheriff look at him, rather strangely.

"This is a joke, right? Something you two have cooked up between you,
eh, Roy? Who is this lady? A saloon girl, looking to change her career
and become an actress? Did Adam put you up to this? Seems it would be
the kind of thing a college boy would get up to. He's already given
Joe plenty of ideas for pranks, telling him about some of the things
he did, while he was away."

"This ain't no joke, Ben and I'm a mite angry that you'd think I'd do
such a thing," said Roy. "Maybe it is a college stunt, but I ain't no
college boy. I'm a sheriff and a well respected one, and I happen to
be your friend, too. Why would I wanna make a joke outta you gittin'
married again?"

Ben could tell, from Roy's tone, that it wasn't a joke, and he
immediately stopped laughing.

"Sorry, Roy, didn't really think it was your style," he said. "And my
apologies to you, ma'am, but I'm afraid you've still got the wrong man."

"Are you, or are you not, Mr Benjamin Cartwright, of the Ponderosa
Ranch, Nevada Territory?" said Miss Perkins.

Ben said, "Well, yes, I am," and before he could say anything more,
she carried on speaking.

"In that case, sir, I don't have the wrong man. Look at these letters.
They were written, at your request, by your ten year old son, Joseph.
He told me that you were a widower, and that you were in need of a
wife and a mother for your little boy. He said that you were dictating
the letters to him, as you'd broken your arm and couldn't do the
writing yourself. He said you were very lonely, after losing his
mother, and were longing to find love again, but there were no
suitable ladies here in Virginia City. I can well see that being the
case, as since I arrived, the only women I have seen are the kind who
frequent the less salubrious areas of town. You even sent me the stage
fare, so I booked my ticket and here I am."

As she was speaking, Ben had the chance to look at her, more closely.
She was not what you would call a real beauty, but she was far from
being plain. Her hair was pulled back, rather severely, into a
chignon, and she was wearing what could only be described as plain,
but well made, clothing, a yellow blouse and a skirt. He felt he'd
been correct when assessing her age, as to be in the mid thirties.

"I am so sorry, ma'am, but I feel you have been the victim of some
rather cruel joke. I really don't want to get married, at least not
right now, and not for the foreseeable future, either. It's true I am
a widower and I do have a son called Joseph, in fact, I have three
sons, but definitely no wedding plans."

"Do you deny that these letters were written by your son?" she said,
standing up, and handing them to him.

Ben looked down at the untidy scrawl, which passed for Little Joe's
handwriting, and shook his head.

"No, I don't deny it, as he did write them, but not with my
permission. Please believe me, ma'am, I never asked my son to write to
you, nor to propose marriage. I am truly sorry and I will be dealing
with him just as soon as I get home."

Ben went to leave the office, but Miss Perkins stopped him.

"Joke or not, Mr Cartwright, I am here, because your son wrote to me
and invited me to come. I have no where to stay and no money to get
back home, so the least you can do is offer me shelter, until such
time as I can wire home and get some funds transferred to the bank
here in town."

"Of course, please forgive me for my thoughtlessness," said Ben. "I
will get you a room at the hotel and give you enough money to live on,
and to purchase your ticket, home. I most certainly don't want you
being out of pocket, because of my son's stupidity."

Ben was true to his word and took Miss Perkins over to the
International and got her a room. She told him a little bit more about
herself, how her fiancé had died, in a cholera epidemic and, since
then, she hadn't been able to find another man to love.

"There are plenty of single men in the town where I live, but I have
known most of them all my life and they also knew Howard, my fiancé.
Somehow, even though I knew he wouldn't want me to be alone, I didn't
think he would approve of me marrying any of them, as although some
were friends of his, he didn't see them as being very responsible
people. So, once I was over the initial grief, I decided to advertise
for a husband. Your son was the first person to reply and what he said
about you, had me convinced you were the one for me."

By now, Miss Perkins was a lot calmer and she was convinced that Ben
was telling the truth. However, she wished that he wasn't, as she was
very impressed by the tall, grey haired, handsome rancher.

"All I can do is, once more, offer you my most sincere apologies, Miss
Perkins, and my hope that you will, one day, find someone worthy to
share your life with."

When Ben returned from town, Joe was just about to head off to play
with his best friend, Mitch. He was surprised to see his father back
so soon.

"Hi, Pa, didn't think you'd be home so quick. You didn't havta rush
back, I've done all my chores and I'm just going to Mitch's."

"Oh no you're not, young man," said Ben. "Get down off that horse,
right now, and march into the house."

"What's the matter, Pa? You said I could go to Mitch's this afternoon."

"That was before I met Miss Melinda Perkins, in town. Does the name
ring any bells with you, Joseph? By the look on your face, I think it
does. Now, will you please get into the house. MARCH," yelled Ben.

Joe did know who Melinda Perkins was, and he felt the colour drain
from his face. He began to think he might be the second Cartwright son
to be sick, in one day, but his father yelling at him, made him forget
about how he was feeling, and run into the house, instead.

For a good twenty minutes, Ben walked up and down the large room,
delivering a lecture to his youngest son. He covered just about every
square inch of the situation, from the deceit of writing the letters,
and pretending to be doing so, with his father's permission, to the
possibility of Ben being charged for breach of promise.

"Now do you understand where your stupid little prank has led us? I
could go to jail, or be forced to marry a complete stranger, or have
to pay her a lot of money to drop the charges against me. Why did you
do it, Joseph? What were you hoping to get out of all of this?"

"I dunno, sir," said Joe, in a little voice. "I thought it was just a
bit of fun. Mitch was over, one afternoon, and it was raining and we
were playing inside and I picked up the paper and saw the ads. I said
to Mitch that it was a good way to find a husband, or a wife, and one
thing led to another and I started to write a letter. You always said
that when you were married to Mama you were very happy and so I
thought if I found you a new wife, you'd be happy again. I sent her
the money I'd saved up, to buy a new saddle for Shadow, but, somehow,
I never thought she'd really come."

Ben was finally a lot calmer and he sat down on his favourite armchair
and pulled Joe over to him. The boy sat on his father's lap, rather
hesitantly, as he was still aware that Ben was angry with him. As he'd
listened to his father's lecture, he'd begun to realise that what he'd
done, was pretty stupid. Not only had it affected him and Ben, but
also Miss Perkins, who had made a totally unnecessary trip.

"I was very happy being married to your mother, as I was when I was
married to Adam's mother and to Hoss', too. But I'm happy now, as
well, but for different reasons. I'm happy that Adam is back from
college and that the ranch is doing so well. I'm happy that I live in
such a beautiful part of the world and that I am still fairly young
and able to get around, as my health is good. And I'm happy that Hoss
is enjoying working on the ranch and that you and Adam are getting
along so well, as it was a bit tough, when he first got home, wasn't
it? There are so many things I have to be happy about, and maybe, one
day, I might be happy about getting married again, but I don't need
you to pick out a bride for me, son. I am perfectly capable of doing
that, for myself."

"What's gonna happen now, then?" said Joe.

"What? To you, or to Miss Perkins?" said Ben, looking rather sternly
at the boy.

"Both, I guess," said Joe, not sure that he wanted to hear the answer.

"Well, Miss Perkins is going to take a few days to rest up in the
hotel, in town, before making the journey back to her home. And you,
my boy, are also taking a little trip, but yours is going to happen,
right now, and it's over my knee."

Ben didn't think, for one minute, that Joe had acted maliciously, by
sending the letters, but he did feel he had to impress upon the boy
that it was not a good idea to meddle into other people's lives.

The following day, the family attended church and all three Cartwright
sons had something to ask for forgiveness about. Hoss, for disobeying
his father and drinking too much, Adam for allowing his own needs to
prevent him from carrying out his big brother duties, properly, and
Joe for trying to interfere in things that were nothing to do with him.

After the service, Ben took Joe over to the hotel to say sorry to Miss
Perkins. She was very nice about it, and accepted his apology. She
decided to stay on in Virginia City, and, after a short while, she met
a mine owner, who began to court her. Within six months they were
engaged to be married and the Cartwright's were the first people
invited to the wedding. As Melinda said, in her speech on the wedding
day, if it hadn't been for Little Joe, she would never have met the
man of her dreams.

THE END

Little Joe forever
Lynne
November 19th 2006

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