THE DAY THE WORM TURNED
Written by Lynne Coulson

Time and time agin I put ma neck out on the line fer that little
brother of mine, and I sure don't know why I bother. As, sure as eggs
is eggs, it all comes back and hits me slap bang in the face and,
suddenly, it's all my fault, and he stands there, pure and innocent,
as the driven snow, and with that look on his face that screams at ya,
"Who me? No, nothing to do with me, Pa, I didn't do it."

Right this moment, I wanna do nothin' more, than pound him inta the
ground, but as he's about as fast as a jackrabbit and wily as a
coyote, it might havta wait, a while, so I guess I've got time ta tell
ya all about it.

Ya see, Little Joe's always short of money. No matter how much of the
jingly stuff he has, at one time, it always manages ta slip through
his fingers, without him even noticin' how it happens.

So, about a week or so before Pa's birthday, he sashays up ta me, nice
as ya please, and asks if he can borrow some money, so that he can git
Pa a gift. Straight off, I say `no', cos experience has taught me that
what Joe really means when he says will ya lend me some money, is will
ya give me some money that I have no intention of payin' back?

"Aw, come on Hoss," he says, trying out one of his famous puppy dog
looks, which usually works iffen he's after a few pennies for candy,
or ta buy one of them detective novels he's so fond of.

"No, Joe, I cain't lend ya no money, cos I only have enough left ta
pay the last payment on my present for Pa, and I won't have no more
`till I get paid, at the end of the month, and that'll be after Pa's
birthday."

"Well, can ya put my name on your present, too, and say it's from me,
as well?" says Joe, ever hopeful of me solvin' his problem, for him.

"No, I cain't and I don't see why I should," I replied. "I saved hard
to git the money ta buy my gift and went without stuff I might've
wanted ta buy, in order ta have somethin' special fer Pa, and I wanna
be the one givin' it to him."

"You will be the one giving it to him, it'll just be from me, too,"
pleaded Joe, but I refused ta budge.

"No, little brother, it's my gift ta Pa, and no one else's. If you
wanna git a gift fer Pa, put on yer thinkin' cap and git out there and
git him somethin'."

I didn't often dig ma heels in, but when I did, Joe knew I wasn't
likely ta change ma mind, so he gave up pleadin' with me.

I should've known that wouldn't have been the end of it, but I was
mighty busy on the ranch and so didn't give much of a thought ta Joe
and his woes.

He went off ta school, each day, and didn't even mention Pa's
birthday, so I kinda assumed he'd borrowed money off our oldest
brother, Adam. Now Adam likes ta pretend that he's never taken in by
Joe and his schemes, but it ain't true, sure enough. He's jest as much
a sucker as I am (cos the truth is, I would've lent Joe the money
iffen I'd had it) and so I reckoned Joe had succeeded with Adam where
he'd failed with me.

About three days before Pa's birthday, Adam met me, as I was riding
back from the loggin' camp, and he showed me what he'd bought fer Pa.
It was a beautiful brass inkpot and stand, complete with pen, ta go on
Pa's desk.

"That's a real beauty, Adam," I said. "And Pa's gonna love it."

"I sure hope so, as it took some tracking down. This stand was made
around the same time as Pa's desk and I wanted to get one, which would
complement the desk, as the one he has, at the moment, is from the
wrong period."

Such things don't mean much ta me, but I know they do to Adam, and ta
Pa, to a certain extent, so I was happy fer Adam that he'd found what
he wanted.

"Well, are you going to show me what you got for Pa?" said Adam, as we
headed for home.

"Cain't, yet, cos I ain't picked it up from town," I said. "It'll be
ready, tomorrow."

"Can't you at least tell me what it is?" continued Adam.

"I guess I could," I said. "But I'd rather have it be a surprise fer
you, like it'll be fer Pa."

Adam accepted that and didn't mention it no more.

So, the following day, once all my chores were done, well, apart from
ma evenin' ones, that is, I set off inta town, ta pick up ma gift, and
ta meet Little Joe from school.

I went ta collect ma gift, first. It was a fine pair of duelling
pistols, and they were housed in a black leather box, which was lined
with dark blue, velvet material, much like our chair, at home. Inside
the lid of the box was fixed a small silver plaque, and on it I'd had
the words inscribed `Happy 50th Pa, Love from Hoss'.
You see, my Pa has quite a collection of antique guns and the last
time we'd been to San Francisco, he'd seen these, in a store, there,
and really admired `em. Without him knowin' about it, I'd gone back ta
the store and bought `em, then had `em sent ta the silversmith in
Virginia City. He'd made the plaque and engraved it fer me, and that
was what I wanted the last of my money fer.

I stowed the box, carefully, in my saddlebags, and headed fer the
schoolhouse. I'd already told Little Joe that I'd meet him, so
expected him to be waitin' fer me, but there weren't no sign of him.

`Dadburn it, little brother, are you in trouble, agin?' I thought to
maself, as I dismounted and went in search of him.

I eventually found him, a short distance from the school, close to the
banks of the creek.

As I got closer, I could see that he was real upset.

"Hi, shortshanks, what's the matter?" I said, puttin' my arm around him.

"Oh, hi, Hoss," he said, lookin' surprised ta see me. "Nothing, it's
just," but then, he stopped speakin'.

"It's jest what, little brother?" I said.

"It's just that I managed to get something for Pa, for his birthday,
but a couple of the boys from school gotten hold of it, and tossed it
up there," and he pointed at what looked like a bundle of rags stuck
up in a large tree, the branches of which hung over the water.

"You know how I hate heights, Hoss, so I was standing here, wondering
how I was gonna get it back."

"Well, worry no more, little buddy, cos big brother's here ta git it
fer ya," and I headed over to the tree.

I was soon at the top, and even though I don't mind heights, when I
looked down at Joe, it sure was a long way ta the ground. But, I put
that thought outta ma mind, and sat down on the branch, so that I
could ease my way along ta where Joe's gift was stuck.
As I got closer, the bundle of rags looked even more like a bundle of
rags, and I was a mite curious as to what the gift could be. It was
almost in my grasp, when the tree started to shake, violently, and I
hadta hold on, real tight, so as not ta fall inta the water, below me.

"Hey, Joe, why's the tree shakin'?" I yelled.

"I was just trying to help ya, Hoss," yelled back Joe. "Thought a bit
of shaking might loosen my gift."

"More like loosen me," I said, as, once again, the tree shook. "Cut it
out, Joe."

No sooner were the words outta ma mouth, when I lost ma grip, and
found maself fallin' down inta the creek. I landed with an almighty
splash, with the wind knocked outta me, and it took me a few seconds
ta breathe agin. Then I headed fer the shore, as fast as I could go,
ready ta knock seven bells outta my little brother, fer causin' me ta
take an early bath.

However, once I got ta the shore, there was no sign of the varmint. I
spotted the bundle of rags, which had also landed in the creek, and
reached in to drag them out. The bundle of rags looked like a bundle
of rags, cos that's what it was, jest a bundle of rags. There was no
present fer Pa wrapped inside `em.

"Dadburn you, Little Joe, jest you wait `til I git a hold of ya. What
the heck was that all about? There wasn't no present fer Pa, up in
that there tree, jest a few ole rags, and now I'm soaked ta the skin.
What the devil are ya playin' at?"

Then I caught sight of Joe, standin' a fair distance away from me,
with some of his friends.

"Sorry, Hoss," I heard him yell. "I needed the money to buy Pa a gift,
so I bet with my buddies that I could get you to take a dip in the
creek, when you came to meet me. They never reckoned I could do it,
but look at you, all wet, so I won. I now have enough money to go and
get Pa a present, so that's where I'm going, now I know you're okay.
I'll see you at home, bye Hoss."

I couldn't go after the little fiend, cos he was headin' fer town, and
I was drippin' wet, so I walked, well, squelched, over ta Chubb,
mounted up, and went home.

As I rode into the yard, Adam and Pa came outta the house and both
began ta laugh, at the way I looked, until I told `em how it happened,
then Pa's expression changed, and he looked about as mad as I did.

"Just you wait until I get my hands on that little brother of yours,"
said Pa. "You could've been seriously hurt, as the water in the creek
is not that deep, and falling all that way, into shallow water, might
have injured your back."

"Aw, it was okay, Pa," I said. "There's been quite a lot of rain,
recently, and the creek was pretty full. I didn't git hurt, jest wet."

I can guess what yer thinkin', here I go defendin' the scamp, agin,
but I didn't want Pa gittin' the idea that Joe set out ta really harm
me, cos I know he wouldn't do that. Oh, I was still plannin' on
gittin' even with that little brother of mine, but fer gittin' me all
wet, not fer tryin' ta kill me.
I hadn't told Pa that Joe needed the money he won, from the bet, to
buy a birthday present for him, as I didn't want Pa's birthday to be
spoilt.

"Pa, will ya let me deal with Joe? After all, it's me who suffered
from his prank, so I reckon I oughta have the satisfaction of dolin'
out the punishment."

I could tell that both Pa and Adam were surprised when I said that,
cos I never had punished Joe, before. Oh, I've threatened, countless
times, but when it's come to it, all I've ever done to him, is dunked
him in the water trough. I've always felt too close in age to him, to
be actin' like a father, as Adam does, when Pa ain't around.

"That's fine with me, son," said Pa, and then I excused myself, as I
needed ta git changed, afore I caught a chill.

I was outside, well, in the barn, when Joe finally arrived home, and
as soon as he walked in, I grabbed hold of him, and pulled him over to
the far corner.

"Well, is it still as funny, dunkin' me in the creek, now that I'm
here right in front of you, and you're not with your friends, and a
safe distance away from me?"

I'd got Joe pinned up against the wall, and I was holdin' onto the
front of his jacket, so he couldn't do much else, but look at me. As
he did so, the tears began to flow, and I steeled myself to ignore them.

"Don't start with the waterworks, little brother. That was a very mean
thing you did to me."

"I know it was," said Joe. "But I was desperate to get some money, so
I could buy Pa a birthday present, and I didn't know what else to do.
If you'd lent me the money, when I asked you to, this wouldn't have
happened."

In all of his fifteen years, I have never felt as much anger for Joe,
as I did jest then. How could he dare ta stand there and blame me, fer
him givin' me a dunkin' in the creek?

"Why you little weasel," I said. "Don't you dare blame me fer what ya
did. You know when it's Pa's birthday, jest as well as me and Adam do,
and you get enough allowance ta be able ta put some by, and buy Pa a
gift. But, instead of that, ya jest fritter away your money, and then
expect Adam or me ta bail you out. And when we didn't, ya then cook up
a scheme like ya did, ta make some money. Why didn't you ask ta take
on more chores, fer a couple of weeks? At least that would've bin an
honest way ta make the money."

"Does Pa know what I did?" said Joe, wiping away the tears, with his
sleeve, when he realised they were not gonna soften me up.

"He knows what ya did, but not why ya did it, and I ain't about ta
tell him, cos if he knew, he'd feel bad about the gift ya got him, and
it would spoil his birthday. He jest thinks it was some darn fool
dare, with your friends. And he's left it up ta me, to deal with ya."

Joe gulped, when he heard this, as he knew that I was jest about as
angry as I'd ever been, with him, and so was wonderin' what I was
about ta do.

Several minutes passed and neither of us said anything.

"What are you gonna do to me, Hoss?"

There it was; Joe had finally asked the question, and now he wanted an
answer.

I let go of Joe's jacket and growled at him, "Stay put, young `un."

I then walked up and down, a few times, deep in thought. I knew that
no matter how mad I was with Joe, I could never give him a tanning, so
that was out. He hadn't actually got any money out of me, personally,
so I couldn't get him to pay back the debt. Therefore, I decided that
the only option was to have him do chores fer me.

"I have a feelin' that the dip in that cold creek is likely ta give me
a chill, so, fer the next few days, most likely, a week, you are gonna
do all my early mornin' chores fer me, afore ya go ta school. Then,
when ya come home, you are gonna work, on whatever I say needs doin',
until it's time fer bed, apart from doin' school work and havin'
supper, that is. And iffen I catch ya slackin', then, on top of all of
that, you and me will be havin' a session in the barn, and this time I
mean it, Little Joe."

I knew that by saying that, I would havta carry through my threat,
iffen Joe disobeyed me, but I was confident that he wouldn't dare do so.

"And, finally, you are restricted, until further notice, so you only
leave the ranch to go to school and the rest of the time, you are in
the house or the yard, so I know where you are, at all times. Understood?"

"Understood, Hoss."

When we got to the house, later that afternoon, Pa lectured Joe on the
foolhardiness of his prank, but it wasn't a long lecture, as he was
confident that I'd dealt with that, and I had.

On Pa's birthday, Joe gave him the cufflinks, which he'd bought with
his ill gotten gains, but I kept to my word, and didn't tell Pa that
it was the dare money he'd used to buy them.
Pa loved the duelling pistols and the inkstand from Adam. We threw a
party and he received many more lovely gifts from his friends.

I kept Joe on restriction for three weeks, and I am pleased ta say
that, during that time, he apologised, many times to me, about what
he'd done. I did forgive him, of course I did; he's my little brother
and I love him, but I hope he learnt, that day, not to try and take
advantage of that fact, any more.

THE END

Little Joe forever
Lynne
July 3rd 2007

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