TO BUST A BLOOD VESSEL
by
BlueVelvet
Hop Sing ran into the kitchen, where Hoss was munching on a plate of Hop
Sing's Schezuan Buffalo Wings with the extra extra exta extra extra hot
Texas chile sauce
"Mr Hoss! Mr Adam in bunkhouse, he very upset about something!"
"Now what's eating Ol' Adam's dadburn-ornery hide? Dad burn it! Hop Sing, don't let these extra extra extra extra hot Buffalo Wings get cold..."
Hoss walks out of kitchen and knocks on the bunkhouse door, he clears his throat
Adam is pacing up and down, his brow is covered with beads of sweat
his eyes burn into Hoss and he rolls up his sleeve, revealing his well known
hairy arm
"Were've you been!" Adam growls
"Why, you know where I've been, older brother!" Hoss nudges Adam, winking, "Gotta be fast boy, smart!"
"Hoss I can't believe you! Over and over again I have to tell you
the same thing!
I can't take anymore of this!"
Adam, infuriated lunges at Hoss and throttles him Hoss' head shakes up
and down with the force of Adam's rage
His strangled gurgles alert's Ben's paternal intuition
Ben rushes into the bunkhouse in time to catch Hoss before he gasps his last breath
"Adam! Why are you fighting him?" Ben demands paternally concerned
Adam rushes past them both blurting
"ASK HIM!"
Ben becomes shocked at his son's confession
"Hoss I must talk to you Adam was trying to help you When are you going
to get smart and start listening to him and to me?"
Hoss wobbles his head, the words puffing from his cheeks
"But Pa, can't you see that I love her and want to marry her? I don't
care about her PAST!"
"OY VEY!!! My head, my head! Somebody get me an alka-seltzer and call Doc Martin, right away! Ben moaned
Joe dips a cup into the punch-bowl
"Pa, does this mean I can take a whack at Laura Dayton?"
"NO!"
"NO!" Adam and Ben shout in unison
Ben shrinks into the leather chair, exhausted and Adam pounds his fist into
the arm of the velvet chair, looking at Hoss with daggers in his eyes
"What did you know about my Ma before you married her?" Hoss pleads
"Hoss, that was different! Your mother wasn't related!"
"Well at least you know where she comes from" Hoss grinned hopefully
"Pa, can I see New Orleans with the Countess?"
"NO!"
"NO" Ben and Adam shout at Joe, who's tapping his forehead with
a finger
"Oh, my heart... Oh, my head! Why couldn't I have had two daughters?"
"Hey, Pa...how about that girl that was almost like a sister, you know..." Joe offers
Ben staggers to the front door and puts on his hat
"I'm going over to the mill" he mumbles
"I'm in serious need of some grape-picking"
Then Ben shuffles out
Adam still infuriated, throws a boot at Hoss and Joe
"dum dum de dum, dum dum de dum"
Hoss and Joe laugh loudly
"dee dum"
The END