Redemption

Rating: PG

Summary: Recovered from his battle wounds, Adam resigns his commission to begin his new life with Sara and her daughter Amy.  Continues the story, Reconstruction, in the Library.

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Virginia City, Friday, November 24, 1864

Ben stood on the boardwalk in front of the bank talking to Roy Coffee when Billy came running toward him from the telegraph office. “Mr. Cartwright! Mr. Cartwright, there’s a wire for you.”

Ben took a deep breath and prayed silently, “Please let him be well.” He tipped Billy a nickel and tore open the envelope.

“Resigning my commission December 1. STOP I am fine STOP Will stay in Massachusetts for now STOP Letter to follow STOP Love, Adam STOP”

“Ben? Are you all right?”

Shaken from his daze, Ben nodded and slowly smiled.  “Yes. Roy. I’m fine.”  He wiped the tear from his eye and held out the telegram for Roy to see. “Adam’s fine as well. He’s left the Army.”

“Well, that’s good news, Ben.”  He slapped his friend on the back. “Real good news.  He’s comin’ home then?”

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That night Ben poured his best brandy. He and Hoss and Joe toasted to Adam’s good health and safe return home. 

“I know I won’t rest easy until I see him here at the Ponderosa,” Ben admitted, “but travelling in winter is foolhardy.”

“Betcha he’s got a gal back east,” Hoss posited. 

“Adam? That Yankee granite head?  He’s too stuck in his ways.  Who’d want him?” Joe teased.

“He’s not without his charms, son,” Ben added with a wink.

“Yeah Joe, maybe he’s found hisself a pretty little nurse to keep him warm in winter.”

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Cambridge, December 2, 1864

Adam sat down at his Cousin Jack’s desk to write to his family. There was so much to convey, so many secrets to reveal. He hoped that he could express it all.

“Dearest Family,

I wish that with one stroke of the pen I could erase the time and miles that separate us. As we approach the holidays, I feel the distance more acutely. Know that my heart is with you all.  Merry Christmas.

I wrote in my telegram that I resigned my commission. Although my leg has improved, it is not entirely healed. Doctor Steele has pronounced me unfit for combat and arranged for a medical discharge.

My company has suffered great losses. It has been disbanded and reassigned to another command. With the rumors of peace in the Spring circulating, I could not be sure that I would serve with any of my men. Most likely I would have sat at a desk in Washington.

My stay with Jack’s family has proved most fortunate.  I have been able to reacquaint myself with family and old friends.  I am not returning home to the Ponderosa immediately. I have good reasons. I hope that you will understand and will be happy for me. The truth is I have met someone. Her name is Sara, and I have fallen in love with her.”

He put the pen down and sighed, anticipating his family’s reaction. He hadn’t exactly been lucky in love in his life. You might say, he’d always been a bit “snake bit”, as Hoss would say, when it came to love. Heck, the whole family was snake bit.  Adam smiled. Not this time. This time he was truly in love. Sara had his heart, and he had hers.

“She has agreed to be my wife….”

He thought back to Thanksgiving evening.  Desperate for time alone with Sara, he volunteered to help her with the dishes.  Everyone looked at him puzzled. No one was more puzzled than Sara.

“I can clean up, Adam,” Jack’s wife, Carrie, said.

“No, I insist.  You made such a lovely dinner.  You should relax. Sara and I will do the dishes.”

Sara stood and picked up the pumpkin pie tin and headed toward the kitchen. Grabbing a stack of dessert dishes, Adam slowly followed her. The door swung shut behind him. He placed the dishes on the kitchen table, took the pie tin from Sara and placed it beside them. He took Sara in his arms and kissed her, whispering “I have waited for that all day.”

“So, that’s what this is all about!”  She laughed and encircled his waist with her arms. She returned the kiss.

“Well, yes, and something more….”

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In the dining room, the couple was the topic of conversation.

“I wonder why he did that,” Adam’s cousin, Jack, pondered.

“I suspect that he wanted to have some time with her without so many witnesses,” Carrie answered.  “Whatever the reason, I’m happy not to clean. Let’s go into the parlor.”

“She’s his reason to stay here.” Carrie’s uncle, Doctor Steele added.  “I don’t blame him.”

“Stay here in Cambridge?” Jack asked.

“I’m afraid I may have just let the cat out of the bag.”  Doctor Steele folded his napkin and placed it on the table.  “He’s much recovered, but not fit for active duty yet.  I offered to file the medical discharge and he agreed.”

“Shhh, Uncle. Little pitchers have big ears,” Carrie admonished. “Amy, Josh, why don’t we toast some marshmallows in the fire?”  She shooed the children away from the table and turned back as she got to the doorway.  “I, for one, am very happy to have him safe and sound.”

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“More?”  Her eyes widened.

He leaned back to look at her directly.  Suddenly tongue-tied, he stammered slightly.   “Well….my decision to stay here....” He stepped back and pulled at his ear. “It’s not just my leg or the classes at Harvard.” He took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and started again.

“Sara, I’m trying to say…I mean…Oh Sara, I love you.  I’ve loved you from the start.” He took her in his arms again and continued, “I love everything about you.” With that he kissed her. “I want you to be my wife.”

"And Amy?"

“I love her as well. She was right the other day.  If you marry me, I will be her father. I want that very much.  I want both of you in my life."

“Yes,” she answered, her eyes brimming with tears.  “It’s all been a whirlwind and they’ll think we’re crazy. But, yes, Adam.  I will marry you. I want us to be a family.”

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He picked up his pen again and finished the letter.

“We plan to marry in the early New Year.  Tradition would have us wait longer, but the War has broken many traditions.  Neither of us wants to delay our new life together.

She has a daughter, Amy, who is a little firecracker.  Together we will make a happy family.  I am eager for you to meet them. We will come to visit the Ponderosa next summer.

My love to you all.
Your affectionate Son and Brother,
Adam"

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That night Sara slipped the ring Daniel had given her from her finger and placed it in her jewelry box. That part of her life was over. She would save the ring for Amy and give it to her when the time was right, as a symbol of her father's love. Sara's widowhood was ending. It was time for her life to move on, to begin a new life with Adam, wherever that may lead them.

Adam spoke with the chaplain at Harvard the next day.  The banns of marriage would first be read on Sunday.  Then Jack took him to a jeweler's shop where he bought an engagement ring. He chose a simple design, a single diamond set in a gold band. That evening, he slipped the ring on Sara's finger, "the first link in the chain that binds us together."

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December 4, 1864

Sara and Carrie were relieved to have an afternoon without the children while they prepared for the wedding.  There were so many things to do.  She'd need something new to wear for the ceremony and honeymoon.  Amy would need a dress as well.

Sara had chosen a pattern and material for her wedding dress. Carrie, who had one of the new sewing machines, had agreed to sew it.  She would wear a dress with a high neck and tight fitting white muslin bodice, accented with black velvet and lace. There were long broad sleeves that ended in a cuff and a pink silk skirt.  A black velvet sash would tie around the waist.  Carrie would lend her a pearl pin to fasten at the neck. This afternoon they planned to cut the material and do the first fittings.

Adam offered to take Amy and his nephew, Josh, to the park on the unusually mild day. He promised to bring them home safe and tired. Once in the park Amy and Josh ran to the swings. Adam pushed them as they shouted for him to push them higher. From there they played on the see-saw and merry-go-round. Finally they joined a group of children in a game of tag.

Adam watched from a nearby bench and marveled at Amy's bravado, not unlike his brother Joe at five years old. She was small in stature, and was nonetheless enthusiastic and in the thick of the action. Laughing, she lost her attention and tripped over a tree root, scraping her knee and cutting her hand on a sharp rock. Adam and Josh hurried to her side.  Adam gathered Amy in his arms and carried her to a nearby bench.

Adam took Amy’s small hand in his and gently examined the cut. Seeing the blood, Josh implored Adam to help her. "That needs to be cleaned, Uncle Adam. She needs a bandage."

Adam retrieved a clean white handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to the boy. "Josh, take this and soak it with water from the pump over there.”

Dry-eyed, Amy was resolved not to cry while Adam washed her hand and then wrapped it in her own clean handkerchief.

"We should go home now," Josh announced.

An hour later, Sara stood at the window and watched the trio making their way up the walk to the door. Amy had her head on Adam's shoulder, her legs wrapped around his waist, her arms tight around his neck. He held her close. Josh rang the bell.

Sara held her arms out and as Adam set her down. Sara caught her daughter in a tight embrace and Amy’s  resolve dissolved. Tears streamed down her cheeks.

"What happened, sweetheart?"

"Mama, I fell and hurt my knee and my hand," Amy sobbed.

Sara smiled and kissed the little girl’s wet cheek. Amy returned her mother's kiss with a big sticky kiss. Sara looked up at Adam and winked.

"I find that a bowl of vanilla ice cream goes a long way in curing scraped knees and bruised egos," Adam explained.

"I've heard that as well." She put her hand on Amy's shoulder. "Come on, honey, let's get cleaned up before dinner."

He watched them climb the stairs.  “It’s all so natural,” he thought. “We’re becoming a family.”

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Virginia City, December 25, 1864

Christmas morning Ben opened the box that Adam had sent.  Enclosed was the letter he had written announcing his engagement and a photograph. Adam was standing, wearing a long dark frock coat, his hand on a seated woman’s shoulder.  Hatless, his hair curled below his ears. The woman was dressed fashionably and had a warm smile. A sunny-faced, pigtailed little girl in a white dress stood at the woman’s side.

“He looks thin,” Ben thought.  “But his smile is genuine and his eyes are shining.  He looks happy.”

Ben read the letter aloud and passed the framed picture to Joe.

“I told you he found a gal,” Hoss said as he looked over Joe’s shoulder to see the picture.

“Well, look at that!  Older brother looks like a dandy.  She’s pretty.” 

“They look like a family. That little one sure is cute as a button.”

“Hey, Pa.  You’re gonna be a grandpa!  Merry Christmas, Grandpa!”

Ben poured brandies for each of them. “Merry Christmas to the Cartwrights, near and far.”

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January 12, 1865

Nearly two weeks into the New Year, a small party of close friends and family members gathered at Harvard's Divinity Chapel for Adam and Sara's wedding. Adam's cousin Jack and his wife, Carrie, Sara's cousin, stood up for the couple.  Amy was the flower girl.  Josh, Adam’s nephew, was the ring bearer.  A wedding luncheon was served at Dean Whitney's home.

A storm was threatening all day. The wind was kicking up and the clouds were thickening. The celebration was cut short and the couple made their way to the Parker House Hotel before a blizzard ground Boston to a halt.  They walked into the elegant hotel and were immediately transported to another world.  The lobby was swarming with guests. The gaslights burned bright and flowers scented the air. It seemed distant from the snow just outside.  They registered for the first time as Mr. and Mrs. Adam Cartwright and were escorted to their suite.  A bottle of champagne, a gift from his father, was on ice.

The door closed and Sara took off her snow-covered cape and hat and draped them over the peg near the door. She turned to examine the room.  “Lovely!” she exclaimed.

"Yes, you are lovely," he said admiring his new wife.

"I meant the room, silly."

"Oh that, too."  He gathered her in his arms and kissed her passionately.  “That’s what I’ve been wanting to do all afternoon,” he said softly in her ear. He kissed her again, his tongue playfully opening her lips.

A shiver went down her spine.  She swallowed hard and regained her composure. She broke from his embrace and walked to the fireplace.  She asked nonchalantly, "What time is dinner?"

Puzzled by her change in mood, he answered. "I booked a table for eight o'clock in the ballroom."

With a playful smile, she turned toward Adam to say, "But that's hours away from now.  I wonder what we should do.”

Adam uncorked the champagne and poured two glasses.  He handed her a glass and held his up to toast, "To my beautiful bride…."

"Thank you." She took a sip of the champagne and placed her glass on the table.   "It's been quite a day. Perhaps we should…” she hesitated as she stood facing the bed.
 
"You have something in mind, Mrs. Cartwright?" he teased.

"Oh yes,” she answered. She turned to him and unbuttoned the cuffs of her sleeves.  She untied her sash and eyed him coyly.

He feigned shock and asked, "Why, are you suggesting…."

She nodded as she struggled with the tiny buttons down the back of her dress. “Could you assist me, my love?”

Adam stepped behind her and began to work on the pearl buttons.  He leaned in and kissed the nape of her neck.  "I didn't know I married such a wanton woman.”

She laughed as she stepped out of her dress and then the crinolines, placing them on the chair near the vanity.  He unlaced the corset and she turned to face him in her chemise and pantalets. Unabashed, she approached him. "It's your turn," she said as she unbuttoned his vest and then his shirt. She pulled his shirt out from his trousers and embraced his bare torso, resting her head on his chest. “And that’s what I’ve been waiting for all day.”

He breathed deeply and exhaled slowly.  "I'll turn down the bed.  I want to learn every inch of you."

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Dressed in his crisp white shirt and black trousers, with his white waistcoat and black tail jacket draped over the chair, he lounged on the bed watching Sara fix her hair. She wore a garnet silk ball gown with gold accents and a low neck.  It pleased Adam that her shoulders were bare.  She was pinning her warm auburn curls high. She had a tiara, a gift from Carrie, to place in her hair.

"I'm almost done.  Have you seen my fan?"

"Take your time, sweetheart."  This feminine ritual of preening amused and delighted him. "Your fan is right here on the table."

A short time later they walked arm in arm down the broad staircase and headed toward the warm glow of the light and the lively sound of music in the ballroom.  The music, the chandeliers, the colors of the women's dresses and the elegant movement of dancers were an intoxicating mix.  Adam and Sara danced between courses and long into the evening.  They seemed to float to the wild sweet music of German waltzes.

At midnight they returned to their suite.  Adam pulled back the velvet curtains and looked out into the night.  Boston was a snowy wonderland.  "We may be here a little longer than we planned. The snow must be a foot or more deep."

She placed her arms around his waist and rested her head between his shoulders. "All the better for us, my dear.  More time to spend with you alone."

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Jack arranged for a sleigh to bring Adam and Sara home two days later and they began to settle into a happy family routine.

They would stay at her uncle's home until they found a house to rent. With the War near its end, Adam had had enough with killing and was anxious to do something to protect lives.  To that end he would take classes in geology and metallurgy at Harvard.  Dean Whitney, his old mentor, had advised him that with the growth of the mining industries in the West, Harvard and Yale were planning to open mining schools. Columbia University had opened a school in the last year. Adam had written to Philip Deidesheimer for advice.  Maybe he would become a mining engineer, or perhaps, with his experience, he could teach.

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March 1865

The snows of winter melted into spring and Adam settled into a new home. In the months since he'd come to Cambridge his life had changed dramatically. He  never imaged the love he'd find there.  Now he and Sara were married and, with Amy, they made a small family. They moved into a house closer to Harvard, but still close to Jack and Carrie. Sara had transformed the empty house into a warm and inviting home. Their happiness was obvious.

Hand in hand, walking down the street, Adam and his stepdaughter Amy, were a study in contrasts. He was tall, dark and distinguished; she was small for her five years, her auburn pigtails bouncing as she skipped beside him. Their arms were swinging to match the cadence of their footsteps. This afternoon they were out to buy a birthday present for Sara. The streets were crowded and Adam was mindful that Amy would not be jostled. They entered Stearn’s Department Store and the little girl was overwhelmed with the sights and crowd of shoppers.

Adam led her to the jewelry department. He had in mind a pearl broach and wanted Amy to help select it.
The clerk brought out a tray of pins, and while Adam was examining them, Amy wandered away unnoticed. A momentary lapse and she was swallowed by the crowd. He searched frantically until he heard a music box playing and found the little girl standing listening, mesmerized.

“Amy!” he called and broke her reverie. “Where the blue blazes have you been? You know that you shouldn’t stray from me.” His manner was gruffer than he intended, reflecting his distress at losing her, and causing Amy to cry.

He knelt to comfort her and said, “I’m sorry, honey. I was scared when I thought I lost you.”

“I’m sorry, Papa. I didn’t mean to be bad.”

It took a moment for Adam to register what she had said. She’d called him “Papa” for the first time.

That night, after he settled Amy in bed, Adam walked quietly down the stairs and toward the parlor. There he found Sara swaying to the music box's German waltz. He tapped her shoulder.

“May I have this dance,” he asked.  She smiled warmly in reply. He took her in his arms and they began to waltz.

"It's charming,” she noted. “It's the same music they played at the Parker House, isn't it?  It was so lovely dancing all evening.”

“It was.”  He lifted her in his arms and answered in a low voice, “I remember doing something else that evening, my little vixen.”  She threw her head back and laughed as he carried her upstairs to their bedroom.

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Lincoln’s Death, April 15, 1865 and shortly after

Before dawn on that fateful Saturday, Adam woke to the sounds of a commotion in the street.  He rose and opened the windows to hear shouts declaring the crushing news of the attempted assassination of President Lincoln. He was shocked and dressed quickly to go out to learn more.

Newsboys were peddling the latest papers. The headline was ominous.  “Highly Important!  The President Shot!”  The dispatches were printed chronologically and they reported worse and worse news until the tenth and latest dispatch at one o’clock that morning..  It began, “Like a clap of thunder out of a clear sky spread the announcement that President Lincoln was shot while sitting in his box at Ford’s Theater.”* He stopped as he read the report that the President was still breathing, but he was “beyond all probable recovery”.

He closed his eyes and prayed quietly. Like most of the men who served in the Army of the Potomac Adam had carried deep respect and affection for Lincoln. The President had visited his troops in the battlefield many times.  “Father Abraham,” the men had taken to calling him.  Adam felt the news personally and worried for his family, his men and the country. The celebration for the long-awaited peace earlier in the week was now mocked by this ghastly deed.

Sara was up when he arrived home.  She held him in her arms as he wept.  Later she made breakfast but neither ate anything.  Little was said. They were lost in their thoughts.  By late morning churches bells tolled for the death of the President.  Sara took Amy to play with her cousin Josh.  She knew that Adam needed time alone to compose himself. 

Two weeks later he received a letter from his friend Walt.  He wrote to Adam that he had attended the inauguration in April.  He noted how tired Mr. Lincoln had looked, but marveled at how measured and wise he was in his address.  “’With charity to all and malice for none,’ Mr. Lincoln spoke. His speech was filled with humanity and justice.  Walt wrote of his crushing grief.  He  had begun a poem in honor of their slain hero and of all the war heroes they had known.  It began,

“When lilacs last in the dooryard bloom’d,
And the great star early droop’d in the western sky in the night,
I mourn’d, and yet shall mourn with ever-returning spring.”**

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Late May,1865

Leaving Boston rail station tomorrow morning. STOP Hope to be in Virginia City by end of June. STOP Will wire from Omaha. STOP  Love, Adam, Sara and Amy. STOP

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Their trip to Nevada retraced the route of his first overland journey albeit considerably faster and with more comfort. The push for the transcontinental railroad allowed them to travel to outside of Omaha in just over a week’s time. Now Adam sat in a stagecoach, looking out the window, watching the plains, and reminiscing. His stepdaughter Amy slept at his side, leaning into his chest. His fingers mindlessly caressed her curls.

He was just Amy’s age when he first crossed the plains with Pa and Inger. It was a happy time. Inger’s love and optimism propelled them. The birth of his brother Hoss was a blessing, a connection to her that even death could never erase.

Adam reached across to hold his wife’s hand. Sara had given him a full measure of happiness in the short time since their marriage. The three of them made a happy family.  She turned her head to smile at him and was puzzled by his tears.

“Dust,” he said and coughed a little for emphasis. “Dust blew in my eye.”

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June 1865

Adam had wired from Reno.  They should arrive at noon in two days. Sara was feeling tired and queasy.  They'd rest a day before continuing on to Virginia City. Now Ben stood on the boardwalk in front of the station talking to Roy Coffee.

"You waited a long time for this day, Ben.  It's sure good to know that Adam is fine.  And with a family!  Who'd have thought that would happen when he left."

Ben checked his pocket watch for the hundredth time.  "What, Roy? Oh yes, a family.  Sara and Amy. The stage is late.”

"It's always a little late.  Don't you worry."

"Where are Hoss and Joe?  I told them to meet me here,” Ben said impatiently.

"They're coming.  I can see them down the street.  And there's the stage!"

The stagecoach driver reined the horses and stopped at the station. "Virginia City!  All out for Virginia City!"

Ben watched anxiously as an elderly woman and her young companion disembarked. They were followed by a salesman.  Then, shielding his eyes against the bright sunlight, Adam stepped down from the stage. His father was there to pull him into a bear hug.  Joe and Hoss stood to the side watching.

"Just you wait there, Mrs. Cartwright.  I'll help you down," the driver said.

Hoss turned to see Sara and held his hand out.  "Let me, ma'am."

"You're Hoss, aren't you?" She smiled warmly as she took his hand and stepped down.

"Well, yes, I am."

"I'd know you anywhere.”

“Ma’am?”

“Adam said that you’re a gentle giant with the clearest blue eyes in the world. I’m sorry, Hoss, I’m Sara.”

He blushed and bowed slightly, "I'm pleased to meet you, Sara!"

Amy stood in the stagecoach door.  "Papa?"

Adam turned and she leaped into his arms.  He twirled her around and she giggled.  "How could I forget my best girl?"  He set her down in front of Ben. She looked up at the tall snowy-haired man with warm dark eyes. She curtsied and asked, "Are you my grandpa?"

Joe elbowed his oldest brother.  "'Grandpa'.  Did you see his face light up when she said that?"

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Ben and Adam caught up with their news on the way back to the ranch. Sara and Amy sat in the back seat of the buggy and marveled at the scenery.  Hoss and Joe rode their horses alongside.  About an hour and a half into the ride Sara asked when they would reach the Ponderosa.

Joe smiled and said, "We've been on the ranch for an hour.  We'll be at the house in another half hour or so."

"I'll tell you what," Hoss piped in, "Amy, would you like to ride with your Uncle Hoss?  We'll ride ahead and warn Hop Sing.  He can fix some lemonade and cookies for everybody."

"Can I, Mama?  Papa?"

"Yes, you MAY," they answered together.

Joe tapped Hoss's arm.  "Did ya hear that?  She called him 'Papa'! Things are sure changin' for the older Cartwrights."

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After Hop Sing’s delicious homecoming dinner Joe and Hoss headed out to the barn where the horses were stabled. Adam and Amy, carrying an apple, followed behind. They stopped at Sport’s stall. Amy looked at the big roan with trepidation. Adam stood behind her, giving her confidence and instructed her to hold the apple flat in her hand to offer it to the horse. Sport took it from her and she giggled. “It tickled!”

Hoss took her hand. “C’mon, darlin’. There’s something I want to show you.”

Adam grabbed a brush and started grooming his favorite mount. “He looks great, Joe. Thank you for taking care of him.”

Joe nodded. “He’s still a stubborn cuss.”

“That’s part of what I like about him. I can’t wait to ride again.”

“How long has it been since you’ve ridden?” No one had mentioned the War yet.  Joe wondered if Adam would talk about it now. “Your leg’s all healed now, right? It’s just that you were limping.”

“It’s as healed as it’ll ever be. I’m just stiff, Joe. I’m tired and I’ve been traveling by stage too long.” He hesitated a moment, thinking back to Cold Harbor. “It’s been a year, a little more than a year since the battle” He shrugged his shoulders. “A year since I've been on a horse.”

“What do you have there, sweet pea?”

Adam turned to see Amy approaching with a furry ball in her hands.

“It’s a kitten, Uncle Joe. Uncle Hoss says it can be my special kitten when I’m here.”

Adam crouched down and Amy showed him her surprise.

“I’m gonna call it Josh, ‘cause it has blue eyes.”

“Just like your cousin….only there’s a problem.” He explained gently, “It’s a girl.”

“Oh.” Amy thought for a moment. “Then I’ll call her……Puff.”

“Well, it certainly is a …..puffy, calico kitten.” Amy looked at Adam with a puzzled expression. “Calico means she has blotchy colors in her fur.”

“I know! I’ll call her Callie!”

Adam stood and picked her up. Amy wrapped her legs around his waist. “That’s a perfect name, Amy.” He blew a wisp of hair from her neck and kissed her. She giggled and kissed him on the cheek.

“Let’s show Mama my kitten.” They headed toward the house.

“She’s got him wrapped ‘round her little finger, don’t she?,” Hoss said.

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In the middle of the night thunder began to rumble and a storm came rushing out of the mountains. Flashes illuminated the bedroom and were followed immediately by explosions of noise shaking the windows. The rain came down in torrents. Amy woke screaming in fear. She was alone in a large bed in an unfamiliar room. Down the hall Ben lit a candle and put on his robe. He made his way to Adam's room.

"Amy, sweetheart, it's Grandpa," he spoke softly to her. He placed the candlestick on the nightstand and gathered her in his arms. "You're safe with me." He patted her back and comforted her. "There, there, Amy. Grandpa is here."

Sara climbed the stairs from the guest bedroom where she and Adam were sleeping and stood in the doorway. Ben looked up and shook his head, indicating that he would take care of the little girl. She smiled and returned to her room.

The storm passed as quickly as it came. As the thunder rumbled far in the distance, Ben asked, "Amy, would you like some warm milk?" He picked her up and carried her downstairs to the kitchen. He stirred the embers in the stove and added some kindling. "Cocoa?"

Amy whimpered and nodded. While the milk heated, Ben and Amy walked into the great room. Ben added a log to the fire and settled her in his chair. "I'll be right back."

When she finished the milk, she fell asleep in his lap. He held her and stroked her hair, studying her now serene face. He smiled as he thought back on the changes in the family. Two years ago a troubled and, sometimes, diffident Adam left to fight in the War. It had seemed impossible that he might find peace and start a family. And yet, yesterday, Adam had returned home bringing his wife Sara and this adorable moppet, Amy, his stepdaughter. Three times in his life Ben had fallen in love in an instant, holding his new born sons. Now it had happened again when Amy greeted him asking confidently, "Are you my grandpa?" Amy stirred in her sleep and he held her closer.

Adam stepped from the shadows and into the dim light. He sat on the bench next to the fireplace and smiled at the cozy scene. "It's been a long time since you've had storm duty, Pa. Or should I say, 'Grandpa'?"

"I waited a long time to hear that word, son. 'Grandpa' suits me just fine."

"That's good, Pa, 'cause she won't be the only one calling you that. .Sara is expecting."

Ben smiled broadly.

"I'll take her back up to bed, Pa."

"No, son.  I'll take her up."  He rose and headed toward the staircase. "Why don't you and Sara sleep late tomorrow?  You both must be tired from the long trip."

Adam walked quietly back into the bedroom.  Sara sat up.  "Is she asleep?"

"Yes, and in my father's arms.  They make quite a picture."  Adam parted the curtains and looked out on a now moonlit sky.  He opened the window a crack and enjoyed the cool breeze.  "And Pa insisted that we sleep late."

She looked as his face in the moonlight. "You told him, didn't you?"

"Oh yeah." He looked at her sheepishly. "Well, it couldn't be a secret too long, what with your morning sickness and your..." his voiced trailed off.

"And my...."

He pulled at his ear and looked at Sara uneasily. "Well, sweetheart, your body is changing...and he's been a father three times...and... I'm sorry, Sara..  I spoke too soon."

She laughed at his discomfort. "Come here, big mouth.”  She patted the space next to her. “Come back to bed."

He placed his robe at the foot of the bed, climbed in under the covers.  He lay on his side facing Sara. She pulled her nightgown over her head, and carelessly tossed it toward the foot of the bed.  Then she cosied up to him and purred in his ear. "It's been since we left home that we've been alone at night. I’ve missed you.” 

Adam chortled with a low chesty laugh.  "My little vixen."  He embraced her, pulling her closer, resting his hands at her waist.  "I happen to love the changes in your body."

"Oh I'm sure that you do, Adam.  But will you love me when I'm big and fat in January?"

"Always, my love.  You'll always be beautiful."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Adam woke early on his third day back at the ranch, dressed in his familiar black jeans and shirt, and kissed Sara gently as to not disturb her. He spent the day with his brothers inspecting the north pastures and rounding up strays. Late in the afternoon they headed back to the ranch house. Adam stretched in his saddle trying to relieve his sore muscles.

Joe pulled up beside him and teasingly said, “Out of practice, brother?”

Adam grunted.

“Long day on the range put you in a ‘fine funk’? That’s one of your words, right? Bad mood?” he continued.

“My mood is fine, Joe. I’m tired and sore and hungry, that's all. Nothing a long soak in a hot tub, a good meal and Sara’s company can’t cure.”

Hoss laughed softly. “Yeah, brother, but will she want to be near you? You’re lookin’ and smellin’ different from your usual citified self.”

“I bet ya, Adam, she won’t kiss you before you wash up. You smell more like cattle than that bay rum she's used to."

“I’ll take that bet, too.” Hoss added.

“Now fellas, betting against my wife’s affections is not wise.”

Hoss and Joe laughed.

“Not for money, Adam. The winner gets the first bath and the loser has to stable the winner’s horse.”

“You’re on, Joe.”

As they rode in they spotted the rest of the family on the porch. Ben and Amy were playing checkers. Sara sat reading a book. Joe and Hoss smiled smugly and let Adam lead. Sara looked up when she heard the horses.  She shielded her eyes with her hand and watched Adam ride in. She was seeing her husband in a new way. Gone was the urbane Union officer she’d met last autumn and in his place was a dark, handsome rancher who sat tall in the saddle. She took a long admiring look and her heart fluttered a bit.

Adam reined Sport and stopped at the hitching rail near the house. Before he could dismount, Sara approached with a tall glass of lemonade. “Thirsty, sweetheart?”

He leaned down to take the glass and she kissed him first. She brushed her lips against his and then moved up to kiss the scar above his lip. She tasted the salt of his sweat and licked her lips while he drank the lemonade.

Adam dismounted and hugged his wife. “Sara, my love, you are the best thing that ever happened to me.” He handed Sport’s reins to Joe. “Make sure you give him a nice rubdown, Joe, and some extra oats. He’s had a hard day.”

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Adam slowly lowered himself into the steaming tub and leaned back letting the aches and pains wash away.  He heard a quick knock at the door and Sara entered carrying towels, clean clothes and a large bar of lavender soap.

“Want me to scrub your back?”

“Oh darlin’, you read my mind,” he drawled.

She grabbed the three legged stool in the corner of the room and placed it near the tub.  Then she rolled up her sleeves and held out her hand for the washcloth.  She vigorously lathered the cloth.  “Lean forward, sweetheart.” She began to rub his back in slow circular movements, kneading his sore muscles.  He rested his arms on the sides of the tub. As she scrubbed his back they chatted casually.

“What happened today?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “We worked … rounded up steers. Nothing special.”

 “Adam,” she scolded mildly, “when you gave Joe those reins you looked like the cat that swallowed the canary. Something happened.”

“Oh that….”

“Yes, dear?”

“Joe and Hoss bet me that you wouldn’t kiss me while I was all sweaty and smelling like cattle.”   

“Oh they did, did they? And the stakes in this wager?”

“The first bath and the loser had to stable the winner’s horse.”

“I see.”  She handed Adam the washcloth. 

“You’re not mad are you?” he asked as he looked back over his shoulder to check her expression.

She was unbuttoning her blouse.  “No sweetheart, on the contrary.  I think we both should teach them a lesson.  We can enjoy this victory together.” 

He grinned and watched her undress.  She folded her clothes and placed them on the bench with the towels.  Adam held his hand out to steady her as she climbed into the tub.  She settled back against him and he held her in his arms.  He nibbled at her ear and asked her seductively, “Would you like me to scrub your back now, Sara?”

She swallowed to compose herself and answered, “In a minute…I’m in no hurry.”

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Early July 1865

Sara's pregnancy was beginning to show and her dresses were feeling tight. Adam was pleased to see she was not as queasy in the mornings but worried about her health.  She assured him that all was fine but when she asked about going into town to visit the dressmaker about alternations he insisted that she see the doctor as well.  Together rode into Virginia City.

Adam introduced her to the dressmaker, Mrs. Branin, and the women immediately fell into conversation about clothes.  With his own errands to do, he left them to their business.  He promised to be back in two hours.  He headed to Philip Deidesheimer's office to talk about his studies at Harvard and his plans.

A couple of hours later the couple knocked at the door of Paul Martin's house.   A woman answered and greeted them.  "Adam Cartwright!  I heard you were home. It's so good to see you!"

"Betty Lewis.  It's nice to see you as well.  Let me introduce my wife, Sara."

"It's Betty Martin, now Adam.”

He leaned in to kiss Betty on the cheek.  “That’s wonderful news. Congratulations.”

Betty blushed.  “Thank you, Adam.”  She held out her hand to Sara, “It's nice to meet you. You know, Paul and I were very pleased when we heard that Adam had finally married.”  The two women shook hands.  "Come in. Come in.  I'll call Paul."

The examination proved Sara right.  Paul assured Adam that everything was going well with the pregnancy, although he advised them to leave plenty of time to rest on the way back East. The jostling of the stagecoach might be uncomfortable for Sara.

As they headed back to the ranch, they fell into comfortable conversation.  Philip had encouraged Adam to continue with his studies.  Sara was having dresses altered and ordered some new skirts and blouses.  Adam reached back and handed one, and then another, box to Sara.

"What's this?"

"Something for Amy."

"You spoil her, Adam,” she scolded gently.

"Maybe. But these are things she needs."

Sara pulled out a pair of pants and two plaid shirts from one box and boots in the other.  She looked puzzled.

"She plays in the barn, helps Hop Sing with his garden and chickens, and wants to learn to ride.  I thought these clothes made more sense."

"Just as long as we don't pack them when we leave for home.  I don't want to fight her about being a cowgirl in Cambridge."

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As the summer passed by Amy grew to love her Grandpa Ben and her uncles more and more. Each vied for her attention but one uncle was a clear favorite at bedtime. Fresh from her bath, smelling of lavender, Amy climbed on the settee and cuddled up next to Hoss.

“Why, hello little darlin’.  Are you ready for yer story?”

She nodded, “Please, Uncle Hoss.”

With that he scooped her up in his arms and carried her upstairs. He settled her under the bedclothes and sat on the coverlet beside her.

“Once upon a time, there was three little pigs.”

“Like Winkin’, Blinkin’ and Nod?”

“Yep, like them little pigs we got in the barn. Now these little piggies set out to build some houses. And the first little pig …”

“Winkin’?”

He nodded. “Winkin’ met a man with a bundle of straw. And he said,“Mister, I need to build a house and I aim to build it with straw.” So the man gave Winkin’ the straw and the little pig built his house.”

“What was it like?”

“Hmmm…it was yellow and kinda scratchy but it smelled real good.”

“Did he have curtains?”

“Oh sure, red and white checkered curtains. Now, no sooner had he finished his house when a wolf walked by on his way to find his supper. He saw the new straw house and looked in the window to see the little pig.

Hoss made his voice go gruff and continued. “Looks like a fine supper to me,” said the wolf. So the wolf knocked on the door and said, “Little pig, little pig, let me come in.”

Hoss stroked Amy's jaw and made his voice squeaky. “Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin,” answered the little pig.

"How did he know it was a wolf?"

"Well, let's see…. the pig had a peephole in the door. And when he looked through the peephole he saw the wolf's snout and sharp teeth and long red tongue.

Then the wolf said, 'I’ll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll bloooooow yer house in.'” Amy giggled as Hoss tickled her to emphasize words. “With that the wolf HUFFED and PUFFED and BLEEEEW the house in.”

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It was still dark when Adam softly called Sara’s name to try to wake her.  Then he sat on the edge of the bed and tickled her nose to coax her from sleep.  Finally, he nudged her and she stirred and opened her eyes wearily.

“Adam, what’s going on?  Is Amy all right?”  Puzzled by the darkness, she objected, “It’s the middle of the night.”  

“Amy is fine, dear.  It’s plenty early but not the middle of the night.  Come on, get dressed.”

“Adam, I don’t understand,” she said as she sat up and put her feet on the cool floor. She arched her back and stretched.

He kissed the top of her head.  “I want to show you something and the early morning is the only time to see it.”

She reluctantly stood. “This better be good. You’re depriving me of my beauty sleep, not to mention this one’s rest,” she said her hand on her belly.

“I promise you, you’ll like it.  Now dress warmly. I’ll grab a jacket for you.”

She met him outside fifteen minutes later.  Still yawning, she complained, “What I wouldn’t give for some coffee right now, even if it still does make me queasy these days.”

He put his arm around her and walked her to the buggy.  He helped her up and climbed up beside her.  Her feet bumped against a basket.  “What’s this?”

“A picnic basket.   I had Hop Sing fix us something.” 

“We’re having breakfast alfresco?”  She lifted the lid and peeked into the basket.  With the
morning sickness stage of her pregnancy fading, she was ravenous after she woke.

“Yep,” he said as he shooed her away.  “Now leave the basket alone, Miss Greedy.”

“Well, dear, you’re never boring.  Your timing might be curious, but you are never boring.”

At the fork in the lane he turned away from town and headed up towards the lake. Sara shivered and Adam pulled a blanket from under the seat.  “Here wrap this around you, sweetheart.  It’ll get warmer soon.”

The valley trail leading to the lake was Adam’s favorite part of the Ponderosa. Verdant meadows stretched for miles and the air smelled sweet from the clover and the tall grass.  It was here that they pastured the herd in summer.  They rode in silence and listened as the larks and bluebirds sing as dawn approached.   On the ridge path Sara watched the sky begin to brighten from deep purple to clear blue. There were no clouds. 

Where the path widened Adam pulled over to stop.  He hobbled the horse and helped Sara down.  Then he spread the blanket on the grass, gestured toward it, and said, “Your table is ready, madam.”  She settled herself facing east. Grabbing the basket, he quickly joined her. Together they watched the sun rise.

‘Oh Adam, this is beautiful.  This is what you wanted to show me.”  She looked out at the valley and the shimmering stream running a serpentine course through the rolling pasture.  She breathed in deeply.  “It’s so clean and clear.”

“Sometimes I think you can see all the way to Boston from here.”

“I think I believe you.”  She took his hand in hers.

“There is no place better suited for contemplation than this spot right here.  A man sees things clearly when the world is so neatly laid out before him.”  He shifted his position and lay back resting his head in her lap. 

Puzzled by his statement, she gazed into his eyes and held his face in her hands.  She tried to intuit what he was meant.  Then she brushed an errant strand of hair from his forehead. “Adam, sweetheart, do you want to stay here on the Ponderosa?”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Without her parents to rouse her, Amy slept late.  A sunbeam warmed her and soon shone in her eyes to wake her.  She didn’t bother to change from her nightgown and proceeded downstairs to find her mother.

She saw that Ben, Hoss and Joe were finishing breakfast.  The places for her parents were empty.

Hoss looked up and greeted her. “Good mornin’, sunshine.” 

“Morning, Uncle Hoss.  Morning, Uncle Joe.”

She sidled up to Ben.  “Grandpa, is Papa doing chores?   Where’s Mama?” 

He scooped her up onto his lap and kissed her forehead.  “Don’t you worry, angel. They took a picnic to the lake.  They’ll be back this afternoon.” He hugged her and continued, “It just means we get you all for ourselves today.”

“Hop Sing make you apple fritters, Miss Amy.”

“Now why didn’t we get those?” Hoss asked.

“No help me with chickens and garden, Mister Hoss.   Miss Amy my best helper.”

Amy slid off Ben’s lap and sat at the table.  Apple fritters were her favorite and a rare treat.

“Amy, darlin’, how about Joe and me give you a riding lesson today?”  Hoss saw his father’s eyebrow arch and added, “That is, if Grandpa says it’s okay, and after your chores, of course.”

Amy’s eyes widened and she smiled broadly.  “Really, Uncle Hoss?  Uncle Joe, you’ll teach me to ride?  Is it okay, Grandpa?  Please.”

Ben’s resolve melted.  “After breakfast, after you make your bed and do your chores…Yes.” Under his breath he muttered, “Sara and Adam may not be happy.”

“I’m going to ride like the wind,” Amy announced.  “Papa will be so proud of me.”

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As they neared the ranch house, Adam saw activity in the corral nearest the barn.  His father was standing outside the fence.  He squinted to see his brothers inside the corral and slapped the reins when he saw Amy on the pony.

“Why the rush, Adam?”

“They’ve got Amy on a pony.  They’re teaching her to ride.”

As they neared they saw Joe had the pony on a rope and was walking it in a circle.  Hoss was walking beside the pony. He was ready to catch Amy should she slip.  Dressed in her jeans and boots, Amy was riding bareback with her arms stretched out. She was getting the feel of the pony and learning to hold on with her legs.

Adam reined the horse and jumped down to tie it to the fence.  He helped Sara out of the buggy.  They joined Ben at the fence and were relieved to see how careful the uncles were with Amy.

When she caught sight of them, she shouted, “Papa!  Look at me! I’m riding.”

“Yeehaw! Ride ‘em, cowgirl!”  Adam called back.  He turned to Sara and laughed.  “She’s fine, dear.”

“I know,” Sara answered.  “She’s a real little Cartwright now, isn’t she?”

Ben put his arm around his daughter-in-law and pulled her toward him.  “She is indeed, Sara.”  He kissed the top of her head. 

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Late July 1865

Ben took Sara into town to pick up her clothes from Mrs. Branin's shop.  He told her that he had some banking business to do and some supplies he needed to order.  In truth, he wanted to spend some time with his daughter-in-law and show her off a bit to friends in Virginia City.  They lunched at the International House and had a wonderful day together.

As they rode into the yard they both sensed something was very wrong. Joe was sitting on the porch with his head in his hands.  Amy was ashen, sitting beside him.  She was crying.

Ben reined the team and shouted, "Joseph! What's happened?"

Amy ran to her mother crying.  "Mama!  It's Papa.  He's hurt."  Ben grabbed her and comforted her. She sobbed, hiccupping as she swallowed her tears. He patted her back, “He’ll be fine, Amy.” 

Sara ran into the house to find Hop Sing carrying hot water and towels into the guest bedroom. She followed him there and found Adam, pale, lying on the bed with his leg propped up on pillows and dirty scrapes on his hands and arms. Hoss was there sitting on the bed, removing Adam's boots.

"What happened?"

Hoss was startled and then swallowed hard.  "Well, see Sara, it's like this."

Adam interrupted him.  "I'm fine, sweetheart.  Really.  I just bumped my leg."

"'Bumped?' And it's your bad leg, isn't it?"

"Well, maybe not 'bumped'.  I was helping Joe with the Army contract and...."

Joe walked in and continued, "He was helping me break horses for the Army contract. And the bronco fishtailed...and he fell on his leg."

She shook her head and sighed.  "Joe, please get some ice. Hoss, help him take his pants off. Let's see what damage he's done."

Hoss looked at Adam and then at Sara and then back at Adam.  He was perplexed.

"Hoss, he's my husband.  I've seen him with his pants off.  Now help him while I get my kit."

Hoss pulled at the pants and saw the bruising already coloring Adam's leg.  But what stopped him was the damaged knee and the long scar there. It had barely faded in a year's time.  He tried to contain his shock. "Adam, I had no idea. You shouldn't be breaking horses.  You shouldn't be doing ranch work."

"My choice, Hoss.  I wanted to help. Most of the time it's fine."

Sara returned and began to palpate the leg watching for Adam's reaction.  He grunted as she twisted it but held his composure.  "It's not as bad as it looks.  I have no doubt that you'll be sore for days, and probably limp for a while, but you'll heal. Let me put some ice on it."

His father and brothers breathed a collective sigh of relief.  Of one thing they were sure, Adam should not be helping with the ranch work.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After several days in bed, Adam hobbled out to the table for breakfast.  Everyone was relieved by his appearance and the conversation quickly reverted to the normal give and take. Amy excused herself to help Hop Sing feed the chickens.  Before the others could leave, Adam asked them to wait.  He had some important things to tell them.

They knew that he was returning to Harvard for another year.  He would graduate in May with a master's degree in engineering, specializing in metallurgy.  He surprised them with the news that the following autumn he would be teaching at the Columbia University School of the Mines in New York.  His mentor, Dean Whitney, and Philip Deidesheimer had both been approached to recommend new faculty.  They thought that Adam would be perfect. He had interviewed with Columbia before coming out West and received a telegram offering him the job last week.

Ben sat still and then interrupted, "Son, I know that you would be a good teacher.  I just...."

"Pa, I'm not sure I can be a rancher anymore.  My leg is never gonna be as strong as it was. Besides, it's not like I'll never come back. In the summer, students come out West to do research and work in the mines.  I can bring students back here to Nevada and stay with you on the Ponderosa.  Next summer, we'll get settled in New York and then come out afterwards."

"But the baby...."

Sara piped in, "The baby will be five months old.  And with the railroad expanding, there will be less time on the stagecoach. Besides we'll have students to help us when we travel."

Ben smiled at Sara.  She had the strength and determination to make this plan work.  And he saw that she loved Adam and his family enough to keep them together.  It wasn't the plan he had imagined for Adam, but he had to admit, it made sense.

"I'm proud of you, son."

"Yeah, me too.  Professor Cartwright.  That sounds good to me."  Joe quipped.

Hoss added, "And we'll still have you here in the summers.  That's good too."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
August 1865

Philip Deidesheimer and his wife had invited Adam and Sara to a farewell dinner at their house. Thinking that the evening could run long, Adam arranged to spend the night in Virginia City. Hoss and Joe were out of town on business. That afforded Ben a rare evening alone with his granddaughter Amy. After her bath, they played a few spirited games of checkers, followed by extra stories at bedtime. When he was sure she was asleep, Ben tucked the covers around Amy and kissed her goodnight. He quietly made his way downstairs, settled in his chair and began to read.

Five minutes later Amy appeared at the top of the stairs. "Grandpa, can I have some water?"

"What are you doing up?"

"I'm thirsty, Grandpa."

"All right, just a little. I don't want you swimming in your sleep." With that he brought her some water and settled her in bed again. "Goodnight, sweetie."

A short while later, the clock struck nine. Ben sensed he was being watched. Amy sat barefoot on the stairs, looking forlorn. As a parent Ben would have scolded his sons and sent
them back to bed, but he looked at his granddaughter and asked softly, "Do you miss your mama?"

She nodded in response.

"Come here, Amy."

She ran down the stairs and into his arms. He gathered her onto his lap and kissed the top of her lavender scented head. "Why don't you sit with me a little while." He held her tight and she rested her head on his chest. She slowly relaxed and fell fast asleep. "I'll miss you, my angel."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A week later the family was waiting for the stagecoach to leave.  Adam and Ben stood to the side talking softly; Joe was checking the baggage with Sara; and Hoss and Amy were making their way down the boardwalk to the station hand in hand, arms swinging.  Joe looked up.  "Wonder what they've been up to?"

Sara grinned.  "Getting a little going away present, I think. I saw them earlier heading toward the general store."

"Peppermints, I bet.  Ever since you said they help settle your stomach, he's been buying them for you."

"And maybe some butterscotch.   Amy loves butterscotch."

The stagecoach driver announced the departure.  "Five minutes, ladies and gentlemen.  We leave in five minutes."

Ben hugged his son tightly.  "Travel safely, Adam.  I know this is the best thing for you, but I don't have to like to see you go."  He kissed Sara and patted her stomach.  "You take care of this little one.  He or she is mighty precious to me."   Amy turned to Joe and gave him a big kiss. Hoss did the same with Sara.

"Peppermints," Sara said to Joe.

"Butterscotch," Joe answered.

Ben lifted Amy up to kiss her.  “I’ll miss you most of all.  Promise me you’ll be a good girl.”

Adam, Sara and Amy climbed in and began the journey back East to Cambridge.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Late August 1865

The night was clear and Charlie Fuller tried to make up some lost time before stopping for the night. The stage was running hours late after repairs for the cracked axle were complete. They were making up time but the way station was still miles ahead in the prairie solitude. The moonlight was welcome.

At last Charlie pulled into the Horseshoe Station. Adam roused Sara and carried the sleeping Amy into the rough hewn building. Too exhausted to eat, they made their way to the stifling and airless bedroom. Adam settled Amy on the bed. He opened the window and a weak breeze wafted in.

At this stage of her pregnancy, Sara was sensitive to the heat. She washed her face and neck and turned to her husband. “Oh Adam, it’s so hot. I don’t think I can sleep in here.”

He nodded and lifted Amy into his arms. “Take the blankets, sweetheart. We’ll sleep outside.”

They made their way past the corral and Sara spread the blankets over a grassy dune near the stream. The water gurgling was like soft music in the quiet summer night. They lay on the cool earth and relaxed, looking at the starry sky.

Adam pointed to a star. "When Pa and I crossed these plains on our way West, that was my wishing star."

“Look at that!”

“What?”

“There. It’s a shooting star. Over there!”

Amy turned on her side and nestled next to her mother. She mumbled, “Starlight, star bright….” Her parents laughed softly. Sara brushed the hair from Amy's face. Sara didn’t need a wish. She had all that she’d ever wished for.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
September 1865

Adam took the time to wire his cousin Jack from Albany, New York.   With luck their train would arrive in Boston by late in the afternoon.  He asked if someone could please open the house for them. 

As they pulled into the railroad station the porter threw open the compartment door. “This is it, folks, Boston.” He tweaked Amy’s nose and continued, “Yer home, little one.”

“At last,” she sighed dramatically.  Sara echoed her daughter’s sentiments. 

Adam smiled as he retrieved the bags overhead.  He leaned down to give Sara a peck on the cheek and turned to Amy.  “Let’s go, Little Miss Drifter.  We’re homeward bound.”

“Oh Papa, you’re silly.”

Three weeks ago they had left Virginia City retracing their journey back to the east coast.  The open plains slowly had given way to towns and neat farms and then to cities.   They looked forward to unpacking their valises and sleeping in their own beds.

An hour later Carrie was locking the front door as a hansom cam delivered Adam and his family home.  She greeted them warmly.  She had come early in the day to air out the house and ready it for them. 

“Aunt Carrie!” Amy called as she ran to greet her. 

Carrie hugged the little girl tightly.  “You’ve grown up a bit, my girl. Josh will be so glad to have you back here.”  She looked at Sara. At five months her pregnancy was evident.  Carrie embraced her cousin and patted her belly gently.  Sara smile coyly. “Now I won’t stay long because I know you’re exhausted,” Carrie began.  “There’s a cold supper on the table, all ready for you.  Milk is in the ice box, food for breakfast in the pantry.  We’ll catch up tomorrow.”  Carrie kissed Adam and briefly looked back to Sara.  “Let Adam do for you tonight, get some rest.”

Sara entered the house and was pleased to find that it was in good order.  She was exhausted from the long journey and looked forward to staying put.  Adam placed his arm around her waist and guided her to the settee.  “Carrie’s right. You should relax. Let me put your feet up for you, sweetheart.”  She settled back against the cushions.  The smell of late violets lingered in the room.  Carrie had filled a vase and placed it on the mantle.

“Why don’t you close your eyes for a few minutes and I’ll bring the luggage in.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

That night Adam and Sara lay in their own bed.  Adam held her in his arms, her head resting on his chest.    A scented breeze from the fruit trees next door blew in from the opened window.  The gas streetlight faintly lighted the room. 

“It’s good to be home,” he said.

“Home is here in Cambridge, not the Ponderosa?”

“I mean ‘our home’.  Although, where you are is home for me.”   

“That sounds nice,” she agreed, “’our home’.”

Adam began to recite a few lines of a poem,
“I have led her home, my love, my only friend,
There is none like her, none.”

She wrinkled her brow, trying to place the verse. 

“Tennyson.”  He took her hand and kissed it. 

“Adam, do you know what Monday is?”

He smiled and answered with a gleam in his eye.  “Sure.  It’s the first day of school for Amy and for me.” 

“I mean beyond that, silly.”

“You mean that we met a year ago on Monday.”  He squeezed her gently. “How can I forget the luckiest day of my life?”

“Oooh,” she said, surprised.  “The baby just kicked!”

She took his hand and placed it on her belly.  “Do you feel it?  It’s faint.  Just a flutter really.”

He shook his head. 

“Be patient, sweetheart.”  She lightly covered his hand with hers.  “There.  Do you feel it?”

“Oh!  Yes, now I feel it.”  He was blushed with pride.  “Is that normal?”

“Yes, sweetheart.  Very normal. Our baby is making himself known in his new home.” 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Captain Samuel Wells called on Adam in late September.  He was returning home to New Hampshire.  Invalided from combat duty, he nonetheless had remained with the Army and was assigned desk duty.  Now, months after the surrender, he was going back to his family and civilian life.   He brought news of Adam’s company. 

“There is a favor I need to ask of you, Adam.”

“Of course, anything for you, Sam.”

“Johnny’s sister.”

“I didn’t know he had family,” admitted in a low voice. Johnny was the young man, no more than twenty, who had served as Adam’s groomsman.  He died in an explosion at Cold Harbor, shortly after Adam had been carried wounded from the field.

“Bridget.  I have the papers to give to her to claim his death benefits.  I thought you might like to deliver them to her.  I know it would mean a lot to her.”

“Where is she?”

“Here, in Boston.  She works in one of those society houses on Beacon Hill.” 

“It would be an honor.  Thank you, Sam.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The following day Adam consulted a note that Wells had written with the address where Bridget Reilly worked scrawled upon it.  He approached a red brick rowhouse with granite copings and a fanlight window above the door. Number 63, Mount Vernon Street was his destination, the home of the widow, Mrs. Amelia Gardner. 

His knock at the door was quickly answered by small officious man.  He asked to speak to Miss Bridget Reilly.

“Miss Reilly is in the employment of Mrs. Gardner.  She does not receive visitors whilst she is attending madam, and never by the front door.”

Adam placed his foot in the door to prevent its closing.   The butler opened the door to glare at Adam who stood erect, towering over him, and looking menacing.  With his teeth clenched, Adam said, “Perhaps we should begin again.  My name is Captain Adam Cartwright, late of the Army of the Potomac.  I am here on official government business concerning Miss Reilly, the beneficiary of Private Johnny Reilly, killed at the battle of Cold Harbor in the service of his country.”

A young woman, dressed demurely in a dark green dress, stood in the doorway to the parlor.  She blushed at the spectacle at the front door.  Mr. Crawford, as the most senior employee, had a pompous nature and made life difficult for the others, especially the youngest members of the staff.  She enjoyed the fact that the tall handsome stranger was giving him his comeuppance.  She regretted that she was the subject of the uproar.

“Captain Cartwright,” she said.  “I am Bridget Reilly.”

The two men turned to watch her approach them.

“If you would, please, Mr. Crawford, make an exception for a few moments, I can arrange to meet with Captain Cartwright on my afternoon off.”

He stepped away from the door and allowed Adam to enter the foyer. 

A frail voice called out from the parlor.   “What is all this fuss I hear?   Bridget?  Where have you gone?

Bridget returned to the parlor to explain the situation to Mrs. Gardner.

“Oh for heaven’s sake,” she said.  “Bring the captain in here and let’s be done with it.”

Mr. Crawford frowned when he overheard her..  Adam smiled triumphantly as he walked into the room.  He bowed slightly to the old woman and thanked her for her kindness. “I apologize for my intrusion, ma’am.  And I thank you for your kindness.”

“I do not understand why he treats me like a caged bird,” she protested.  “Now, Bridget, if you would help me to the library, I’ll leave you to settle this business.  Captain Cartwright, you are a formidable young man.”  He smiled as his eyes met hers.  “I like that in a man.  My late husband was much the same.”

He stood when Bridget entered the room.  “Miss Reilly, I apologize for the fuss in the hallway.  I offer you my sincere condolences.  I am sorry for the delay in offering them, I had no way of contacting you until the other day.”

“Thank you, Captain.  Johnny had much respect for you.  He wrote that you were a fair and honest man, who treated him men well.  Not all officers were like that.”  She paused a moment.  “He loved to work with horses.  He was happy to serve with you.”

“Perhaps we can sit down…”

“Oh, dear, of course.  Sit please, Captain.” 

He sat on the settee and opened his satchel.  “I had a visit from Captain Samuel Wells the other day.  He gave me some items for you.”  He pulled out a bible and a rosary.  In addition, there were two pictures, one of Johnny in uniform and one of Bridget.  Finally, he retrieved a journal.”

Her eyes brimmed with tears as she looked at the few personal items that belonged to her brother.  “Were you there Captain?” 

He nodded and explained that he had been wounded earlier in the battle.  He was not on the field when Johnny died.

“They wrote me to say there was no body to return.  Johnny and his friends vanished in the explosion.”  She held the journal so tight that her knuckles were white.  “It is a comfort to have some small bit of him.”

“Miss Reilly, you are due his pension.  There is some paperwork to complete but this is not a good day for that.”

Her eyes brimmed with tears and she nodded.

“I could come back, though perhaps, you might come to my home and meet my family.  We could complete the forms there.  I could come to pick you up on your day off.  On Sunday?”

“Oh Captain, that would be so kind.”

“Shall we say eleven o’clock?”  He grinned impishly.  “I’ll come to the service door in the back, shall I?”

“Yes, thank you,” she said softly.
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On Sunday Adam and Amy rode the horse car to Beacon Hill to fetch Bridget.   He held her hand and she skipped beside her as they made their way down the elm tree lined street.   Bridget was standing on the narrow sidewalk outside the Gardner house, waiting for Adam.  She smiled when she spied the tall man and the happy little girl with her pigtails flying. 

“Miss Reilly, are we late?”

“No Captain.  I thought I’d spare Mr. Crawford the ‘experience’ of meeting you again.”

Adam laughed.  “You are a wise young woman, Miss Reilly.  Let me introduce my daughter, Amy.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Amy.”  She held out her hand to shake Amy’s, but the little girl misunderstood.  She took hold of Bridget’s hand and turned to leave.  

“Come with us, Miss Reilly.  Papa promised to hail a hansom cab to ride home.”

Bridget laughed at the audacity of such a little girl.  Adam winked at her and together the three of them walked to find a cab. 

A month later, Bridget would think back and marvel at how easily they had found their way into her life.  Adam guided her through the paperwork to claim her brother’s pension and had assumed a fatherly role of counsel to her.  Sara was more of an older sister and confidant.  She and Sara fell into a gentle rhythm of friendship.  But it was Amy whom she loved best and who loved her best as well.  She had left a little sister Amy’s age when she left Ireland with Johnny.   Amy filled that empty corner of her heart.

Soon after that first visit, Bridget was spending her Sundays with Adam’s family.  She loved helping Sara make dinner, sew baby clothes and look after Amy. 

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Adam was examining his metallurgy lecture notes while Sara put Amy to bed.  She noted the light under the door streaming into the hallway when she came downstairs.  She went to the kitchen and poured him a cup of coffee.

He heard a tap at the door and ignored it.  “Adam,” she said as she opened the door.  “I brought you some coffee.”

“Hmmm,” he mumbled not pausing to look up.  “Thanks.”

She placed the cup and saucer on the desk and walked behind him.  She began to massage his aching shoulders, kneading the taut muscles, trying to relax them.  He arched his back and moved his head from side to side relieving the stiffness.  She worked her way up from his shoulders to his neck and smiled as she reached his inky curls.  She loved his hair longer.  She leaned down and kissed his neck.  She whispered, “Don’t be too long, Adam.”  She turned to leave.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her to him.  “Where do you think you’re going?”

“It’s been a long day, I’m off to bed.”

He pulled her in his lap and emitted an exaggerated groan. 

“That’s not funny.”

“I’m teasing, sweetheart,” he laughed softly.  He wrapped his arms around her and placed his hands on her stomach.  “The baby is getting so big.”

“You mean to say that I am enormous.” She yawned and added, “I wasn’t this large with Amy nor this tired.”  She leaned her head back on his shoulder.

“I’ve been thinking, sweetheart.  Do you think we might be able to steal Bridget away from the ancient Mrs. Gardner and overbearing Mr. Crawford?  She’s too lively for that house.”

“That would be stroke of luck for all of us. But Adam, will she want to leave Boston and go to New York in the spring?’

“We won’t know unless we ask her, Sara, but I have a good feeling about this plan.”  He kissed her and sent her off to bed.  “I’ll be up soon.”
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“Oh Mr. Adam, there is no need for you to take me home.  I can ride the horse car.”

“Now Bridget, it’s late and I will not take no for an answer.  I’ll take you home.  You’ve helped so much   to make Thanksgiving memorable, it’s the least I can do.  Besides I need to speak with you.”

Her stomach tightened as he said that.  What could he mean by needing to talk to her?  Sara and Amy kissed her goodbye.  She walked out to find Adam standing by a hansom cab, holding the door for her. He helped her in and then climbed in beside her.  “It’s cold in here.”  He grabbed the blanket beside him on the seat and handed it to her. “You should wrap this around you.”

They traveled a short distance when Adam broke the silence. “Bridget, we were all very happy that you were able to join us today.  We have become quite fond of you in a short time.  I hope that you feel similarly toward us.”

“Yes, indeed I do, Captain. I mean, Mr. Adam.”

“We greatly appreciate your assistance.” He hesitated a moment and began again. “Bridget, the baby is due in January and Sara feels a bit overwhelmed these days.  We were wondering if you would consider coming to work for us.  You would to help us with the baby and Amy, and do some general household chores.”

She sighed in relief.  “Oh, Mr. Adam, I would love to. I need to give Mrs. Gardner notice.”

He held his hand up to stop her.  “Wait, I need to explain something.  We are leaving Boston in May.”

“Back to your Ponderosa?”

“Yes, we will visit my family this summer, but I will be teaching in New York City in the fall.  We won’t be returning here.”

“Oh,” she gulped. “Are you thinking I’ll go to New York with you?”

He smiled warmly and nodded.

“Oh,” she said smiling this time. “I hope you won’t think me too forward but with Johnny gone…I have no close family now, ‘cept you all feel like kin to me.”

“We feel the same, Bridget.”

“Would I go to the ranch?”

“If you’d like, but we were thinking you might want to stay here to say goodbye to your friends and then later you could travel to New York to help ready the house for us.  The college will recommend some workers and the Dean’s housekeeper has offered to supervise.  We’d pay you, of course. We’re prepared to pay you $30 a month for now.”

“I have an aunt in Brooklyn. Is that far?  I could stay with her for the summer.  I don’t think I could live in an empty house myself.”

He smiled broadly.  “I’m sure we can work things out.”

“If it’s all right with you, Mr. Adam, I’ll give my notice to Mrs. Gardner this week.  I can be free in two weeks, three at most.”

“Thank you, Bridget. It’ll be a perfect Christmas present for my family.” 

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January 1866

The full moon shone bright in the January sky, softly illuminating the bedroom. Sara lay on her side and Adam, perched on one elbow, had nestled close to her.

"This is not how I expected to spend our first wedding anniversary. I thought we'd be dancing in the Parker House ballroom," she grumbled.

Adam thought back on the simple family ceremony in the Harvard chapel and the blizzard that followed. They danced the evening away and made love with abandon. That first night he thought he could never love her more.  He was wrong. Adam took her left hand in his and brought it to his lips. He kissed her ring finger. He opened her hand and kissed her palm and then her wrist.

Sara winced and slightly grunted. Adam placed his hand gently on Sara's distended stomach and felt the baby kicking.

"Well, someone is dancing, sweetheart," he chuckled.

"He’s practicing bronco busting. Your father will be proud."

"You're still sure it's a boy?"

"We’ve been through this, Adam. I just know it's a Cartwright cowboy I'm carrying. Look at me, I'm huge," she complained. The late stages of pregnancy were wearing on his wife's patience. It was hard for her to get comfortable.

"You're beautiful, Sara. You’ve never been more beautiful to me. Let me try to calm him down."

With that he rose and fetched a bottle of lotion from the dresser. He stood in the moonlight and warmed the lotion with a candle. Then he helped her move on to her back, he lifted her nightgown and gently started to rub the lotion on the tight skin of her belly. The motion soothed both Sara and the baby.
Adam leaned in and kissed her belly. "Good night, little one."

"I hope that he grows up long and lean and smart like his father."

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January 17, 1866

Jacob David Cartwright born this morning. STOP  Sara and baby healthy and doing well. STOP Amy is proud big sister. STOP I am happy but worse for wear! STOP Love, Adam STOP

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*The newspaper account of Lincoln’s death is from the New-York Daily Tribune, April 15, 1865.

**Walt Whitman began the poem “When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloom’d” within weeks of the assassination.  It was first published by the fall of 1865.