Mistress of the Ponderosa
(A Bonanza Romance)
by
Janice Sagraves

Part I

This is entirely for the enjoyment of Bonanza fans, and no infringement is intended.

1

Jacoba Martell and her mother sat on a crude wooden bench before the family’s fair-sized log cabin. Their fingers worked as they plucked two chickens for supper, which is what it took to feed a houseful of men. Their laughter and chatter filled the still mountain air as they took pleasure in one another’s company as mothers and daughters had for centuries. It was a bright and beautiful July day in the Sierras, and they were enjoying life to its fullest.

The approach of the pounding of hooves punctuated Jacoba’s child-like giggle, and she looked up. The twenty-four-year-old had never seen anything so magnificent in her life as the young man who had just engaged her father in conversation. He sat atop a leggy red horse like a Roman soldier, sleeves rolled up to reveal lean, muscular arms. He had longish, wavy black hair that caught the sunlight in ripples, and his skin was the color of tanned leather. Her heart fluttered as she watched him. She seemed to be of no concern to him, but he had indeed caught her attention.

A cool breath rushed in past her teeth. “Mama, please tell me who that is.”

Rachel Devon Martell looked so much like her daughter that they could almost be mistaken for twins. She swiped at a gray-streaked black strand that had fallen over her face and returned to her job. “That is the oldest son of the man whose land we live on.”

This only furthered Jacoba’s intrigue. “Please tell me his name.”

“Well I suppose you’ll find out anyway. It’s Adam Cartwright.”

“What a wonderful name. I’ve never seen a man like that before.”

Rachel puffed at another wayward strand of hair. “Those raised out here are of a singular nature you won’t find on the streets of New Haven.” She glanced up at the rider. “They’re wild and unruly, and you would do well to stay away from that one, young lady. For that matter, any mountain man.” She gave her daughter a sharp look. “Now these chickens won’t pluck themselves.”

Jacoba, however, couldn’t seem to take her eyes away from this mesmerizing creature. His pull on her was like that of the sun on a flower. Her skin tingled, and, in spite of the heat, she felt a chill dance over the surface of her body. The low, muted conversation ended, and her father stepped back as the young man wheeled the big horse with ease. Just then his smoldering, dusky eyes connected with hers, and her breathing staggered.

As Sport came around Adam Cartwright’s sight caught with the onyx eyes of the most beautiful woman God ever created. Her long raven hair fell about her shoulders in undulating hanks, and her coloring reminded him of an acorn. She caused a hot sensation to trace through him as if boiling water ran through his veins. She made his pulse race, but there wasn’t time for this now. He tipped his hat to her then kicked his horse into a gallop.

Jacoba couldn’t believe what had just happened. She found it hard to contain the excitement that thought to swamp her as her fingers tightened in the chicken’s feathers. She had remained in New Haven with her Aunt Abitha while her family came west in the belief that it was the best place to find someone that she could spend the rest of her life with. There she had stayed for the past five, fruitless years until a sense of defeat and a longing for her loved ones had driven her out to this vast territory which wasn’t even a state. Yet now – here in this untamed wilderness in the last place she had expected it – she had just looked into the face of her husband.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

That night the settlement hummed with activity and a sense of urgent anticipation. It had also spilled over into the Martell cabin which sat on a knoll that overlooked it.

The Martell men – father and four sons – sat around the eating table in the large room then made up the entire lower level of the house. Three shotguns, one rifle and two Sharps buffalo guns were spread over its top. Jacoba and her mother, while as women were not privy to the inner workings of the male mind, washed the supper dishes nearby.

Nathan Martell shifted his bulky frame in a rickety chair as he pushed at his mop of graying auburn hair with the back of an oil-stained hand. He rammed a metal rod with a cloth on the end of it down the barrel of one of the Sharps.

Lucas Martell, first-born and who bore a striking resemblance to his father, though somewhat slimmer, took a pistol from the top of his britches. As he started to take it apart his face bunched into a thoughtful scowl. “I’d wager that Little Joe is the source of the trouble.”

Nathan’s full focus stayed on his work. “Well you’d for sure win that one. Seems the little rapscallion went into Virginia City alone, and now they’ve got to go in after him. We’re supposed to go in at first light.” Nathan’s coppery eyes flicked to his son then just as quick returned to his hands. “Us from the Rim as well as the North Valley and the sawmill. Unless we’re told otherwise, we go riding in, hell-bent and ready for a fight.” He finished with the Sharps and laid it aside.

Esau Martell, the baby, like his oldest brother looked like their father with one exception. “That was flat stupid.” He huffed and scrubbed at the nose he had gotten from his mother. “He’s only a year older ‘n me and even I know better ‘n that.”

Matthew Martell, fourth-born, was a cross between both parents. He poked Esau in the ribs with the butt of a shotgun. “I don’t know who’d wantta bother with the likes of you. Fact is Pa’d probably send you.”

Booming laughter rose to the rafters, but Esau wasn’t amused. “Aw, that ain’t funny.”

Only Isaac Martell – second-born, and the very picture of his mother and sister – didn’t seem so amused by the joke. The quietest and most reflective of the Martell sons, he didn’t miss much. His intent black eyes stayed more on his sister and had all evening.

Jacoba thought it was good sport and laughed along with them. That is, until her mother prodded her, and the girl caught those rebuking, stern eyes.

“That’s isn’t, young man, not ain’t.”

Esau’s head dropped. “Yes, ma’am.”

Jacoba kept her dissatisfaction to herself as much as she could, but she thumped down a plate a little harder than intended. Now she found herself the object of those eyes again, but she didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t like it hadn’t happened before. She tired of being on the outside by virtue of her gender, and it wasn’t always easy to keep it concealed. She enjoyed fun – even her father’s and brothers’ kind of ribald humor – as much as the next person and she found the idea of always being proper and ladylike stuffy and boring.

As soon as everything had been straightened up from supper and her mother cut her loose, Jacoba grabbed her long homespun shawl and dashed outside. The night air was cooler and softer here than it had been in the city, and the heavy, nubby fabric kept the chill at bay. It also bore none of the smells of city life. This was clean and crisp and carried the dense scent of pine. It was intoxicating to say the least.

She wandered down from the house and found her stump – a favorite spot of hers – and sat upon it. Here she could sit and while away the time as her eyes and senses drank in the expansive vistas before her. The distant mountains – purple-hued in the darkening twilight – never failed to take her breath. The symphony of crickets and other late summer insects filled her ears with the music of nature. She hadn’t known what it meant to really be alive until she had come out here, and she had fallen into the habit of berating herself for not coming sooner.

She hugged herself in the warmth of the shawl as her thoughts returned to the handsome young Cartwright. “I wonder where you are tonight, my dark-eyed one. If you are safe or maybe you have already gone into harm’s way for a wayward brother.” A shiver wracked her lissome body at the thought of his being close to any kind of danger. She lowered her head and directed her eyes onto her heart as she said a silent prayer for his safety, and tonight when she went to bed she would say another. One could never say too many.

Isaac stepped out of the house as he lit his pipe. He drew on it then blew fragrant smoke into the descending night. A good pipe after a good meal was one of the true pleasures in life given to a man. He took another pull, and his eyes began their search. They went straight to the stump, and the corners of his mouth curved. Right where I knew she would be, he thought. He took another drag and started in that direction.

“A golden nugget for your thoughts.”

Jacoba glanced at him but didn’t let on as he came to stand alongside her. She adored all her brothers, but this one was her favorite. Him she could talk to better than Papa and the other three, and Mama thought she should be genteel and refined. Isaac understood her need for adventure and to be a man’s equal and not his subservient chattel. “I didn’t hear you.”

“I’m not surprised, what with your mind off in the mountains again.” He looked at her over the bowl of his pipe through a thin veil of smoke. “I’d ask what you’re thinking about, but this time I don’t really think I have to.” His eyes stayed right on her so he wouldn’t miss anything. “You were here when Adam Cartwright came by today.”

She looked at him with a bit of annoyance.

The hint of a grin curved the sides of his mouth. “I could tell by way you kept trying to worm things out of Pa about him at the supper table.”

She yanked her head away from him, and her jaw set. “I was doing no such thing. He just happened to come up in the general conversation.”

His eyes narrowed on her as he drew on the pipe. She wasn’t fooling him one bit, and he wasn’t about to let this just go by. “That’s really too bad.” Now the fun would start. “I could’ve told you whatever you wanted to know. But since you didn’t…”

She jerked around to face him, and her eyes were round and vivid in the light that pored from the cabin’s doorway. “Oh, please tell me, Isaac.” She grasped his arm with pleading fingers. “I want to know all about him. How well you know him, what he’s like, and if he has a girl. Oh, please, Isaac.”

Isaac’s grin widened as he glanced up at the moon that had begun its ascent through the sky. “All right, but I’m afraid I can only answer one inquiry at a time.”

Her brow lowered into a frown, and her delicate lips drew into a pout. “Stop teasing me.”

“All right, Sissy.” He took a long, indolent puff. This was too good to rush. “Now where to begin.”

“Oh, Isaac, stop it. It doesn’t really matter.”

“Ah, yes. Well, now, he’s a year older than Lucas and the oldest of Ben Cartwright’s three sons. If he has a girl I’ve never heard him talk about her. Of course, I don’t know him all that well. But you could ask Lucas as they’re friends, and he would surely be able to tell you more.”

Jacoba’s mortification was immediate. “I can’t do that. He would tell Papa, who would tell Mama and the fat would be in the skillet. You know how they feel about what they call my chasing after men.” Her eyebrows fell into an unyielding frown. “It makes me sound like a common harlot.”

“You may be many things, dear sister, but that definitely isn’t one of them. And I don’t believe they think that about you either. You must admit, though, that you are a little forward about it.”

“Well I can’t very well meet anyone if I can’t, well, meet them. I certainly am not going to marry a man I know absolutely nothing about. That may be fine for some women, but not me. And I’m not interested in wasting my time with parlor games. I see no harm in being a person with a man instead of some mealy-mouthed little flibbertigibbet. And while we’re about it that is why I stayed in New Haven when you all came out here. Watching my family leave without me and never knowing when or if I would ever see them again was one of the hardest things I have ever done. But, Isaac, I don’t want to wind up a spinster like Aunt Abitha. And when I marry it has to be for love, real, honest love. The kind that you know exists from the very moment when you first see it. I take this very seriously, you know that.”

He laughed.

“Don’t laugh at me, Isaac.” She huffed and turned away from him.

He took the pipe from his mouth. “I’m not.”

“Oh, yes you are.”

“All right, maybe a little, but you talk as if you’re already in love with Adam Cartwright after meeting him only the one time. And you admitted yourself to Pa that you haven’t even talked to him.”

She gave her head a vigorous shake. “I wouldn’t know his voice if I heard it. And I haven’t actually met him. I only saw him when he rode in to talk to Papa. We haven’t even been properly introduced.” But he looked at me, and I saw it in his eyes, she thought.

He stepped around behind her and brought one arm up about her shoulders and looked out beyond them both. “Well, I wouldn’t worry too much. You’ll figure it out just like you always do.” He kissed her on the side of the head and gave her a little squeeze. “And if he is who you have your heart set on then go after him.” He kissed her again then stuck the pipe back in his mouth and started toward the cabin. “And you better mind you don’t stay out too late or Mama’ll have a conniption fit.” He chuckled then went inside.

Jacoba was once again blissfully alone and reveled in the renewed serenity. She brought the shawl closer about her throat and enfolded herself in her arms. “It isn’t written that I can’t already love him. And no one has the right to tell me that I can’t or don’t. I think I know my own heart better than anyone else.” Bitter tears peeped from the corners of her eyes then ran down the sides of her face. “Maybe they can’t see that this is different this time, but I can. I can feel it, and I saw it, and I know it.” She took a long, shuddering breath. “He is the one.”

A wolf howled off in the distance, but instead of deepening her melancholy as one might think, it only strengthened her resolve. This was a new land fraught with new challenges and new possibilities. This could be the beginning of a whole new, wonderful chapter in her life, and she was going to enter into it with her whole heart and everything she could muster. This young man was what she had been seeking for all these long years, and she couldn’t let anyone or anything stand in her way, if this was as it should be. Then a sliver of doubt crept into her head, and it threatened to stifle her breathing. What if he didn’t feel the same way about her, and never would? A small moan left her. She couldn’t let herself think of that eventuality, it was simply too terrible to contemplate.

“Jacoba, it’s late and time for proper young ladies to be getting ready for bed.”

“All right, Mama. I’ll be right in.”

She came to her feet and looked up to the sky, and a warm smile enhanced her already beautiful countenance. From the canopy of stars she would choose one. It would be called Adam, and it would be hers as she knew one day he must be. Fate could not be so cruel that it wouldn’t work out that way. Her eyes traced across the heavens until they came to a bright one that flickered and danced off to the right. This would be the one. She watched it as it seemed to wink at her and tried to imagine what it would be like to be with him. To hold his hand and kiss his finely sculpted mouth. To have his strong arms around her and feel him close to her and it was all like heaven. How she could be so swept away she didn’t know, but she didn’t care to try to figure it out, she didn’t need to.

“Jacoba!”

“Coming, Mama.”

She looked to her star again. Good-night, my Adam, and stay safe, she thought. Then she turned and started toward the cabin where her mother waited in the doorway.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The faint light of dawn had begun to creep over the horizon when Jacoba awoke. It had been a fitful night, and she had gotten no more than three or so hours sleep. She stretched and propped up on her elbows on her straw mattress in the floor. A quick survey of the loft told her that she was alone. The smell and sound of sizzling bacon furthered her wakefulness and it registered where her mother was. Her father and brothers had spent the night at the settlement to be ready for what could come.

She threw back her covers then crawled to the edge and looked down to where her mother stood before the huge stone fireplace in attendance of that morning’s breakfast. Papa had always promised to get her a stove when he could afford it, but so far he hadn’t been able to. As she sat there and watched her mother go back to slice off some ham, a notion sprung into her still sleep shrouded brain.

With a quick tug, she yanked her shawl from the foot of her parent’s bed, draped it about her shoulders then started down the ladder. As she eased toward the floor, her eyes continued to dart toward where her mother busied herself. With the soft tread of a cat, Jacoba slipped to the door and, with a final glance at her mother, eased outside in the silence of a breath.

Rachel looked around as the door pulled together and smiled as she returned to the slicing of ham. Her daughter didn’t get away with as much as she thought she did, but she was content to let the girl think she was being clever. She knelt before the fire and slapped a piece of the smoked meat into the skillet and snickered. While for the most part Rachel didn’t condone such behavior, she could remember a time when she had been guilty of the same crimes.

The dew on the grass chilled Jacoba’s bare feet, but she couldn’t risk going back for her forgotten slippers. The nippy breeze caressed her cheeks, and she pulled the shawl tighter around her.

The sounds of unrest rose on a current of air, and she looked around in the direction of the settlement. With tentative steps, she went to the edge of the yard and looked down. A large bonfire burned outside the long, rough log meeting house at the far end of the wide dirt street. She could see men as they milled about in the glow it cast, though she couldn’t make out faces or individual voices.

Her gaze followed the sparks as they rose up into the receding darkness to where the arrival of the sun would soon blot out the stars.

The rapid drum of a horse’s hooves grabbed her attention and pulled it back to earth. By the light of the fire the animal looked to be red, but at this distance and in the partial dark, she couldn’t identify the rider. She liked to think it was Adam, and that right now he looked back at her. Her heart twittered like a frightened doe’s while her fingers dug into the fabric of the shawl, and her sight never left the man on horseback. Then, just as fast as he had ridden in, the horse wheeled and galloped back the way it had come.

She let her mind ponder what she had just witnessed. Did this mean the men would soon be on their way into that wretched town, or would they return to their homes? She decided to stand there and wait and see.

The sky had become pale coral streaked with aqua dotted here and there with patches of dark blue when the male contingent of the Martell clan rode into the yard. Jacoba, as she had promised herself, waited for them.

“Girl, you shouldn’t be out here like that.” Her father dismounted a shotgun in the crook of his arm. “You’ll catch your death.” He handed his reins to Lucas.

“I just wanted to come outside. I saw the rider.”

“Everything turned out for the right,” Nathan stroked the stubble on his chin. “So after all’s said and done we won’t be going into town.”

She caught the telling look on Isaac’s face, and she wanted to bust him.

“Now you must be chilled to the bone, child.” Nathan put his bearish arm around her shoulders then glanced down. “Let’s go in to the fire where you can warm your feet.”

In the excitement she had forgotten all about her feet, but now she realized that she couldn’t feel them. Her brothers took the horses off to the pole barn to the side of the house while she went inside with their father.

Nathan thumped his shotgun and hat down on the eating table while his wife sliced off more bacon. Jacoba watched them from her perch on a small stool before the hearth. Her father kissed her mother and it warmed Jacoba more than the fire did. After close to thirty years of marriage their love for one another had never waned, and never cooled. Though she was never envious or covetous of what they had, Jacoba longed for the same kind of a relationship with a man who would love her beyond words.

Nathan hung his coat on a peg by the front door then came and crouched before the fire. He held his large, work-callused hands out to its warmth and stared into its depths.

“It was a good thing that rider came when he did.” Jacoba let the shawl drop from her shoulders. “You and the others didn’t have to go into that town, I mean.”

His focus stayed on the fire. “I guess it was.”

“I’m glad. I was so afraid that it could have been dangerous.”

“I suppose it could have.” He rubbed his hands together. “But we owe old Ben for the land we live on and much of our work. He’s always been awfully good to us, and helping him get his son back would’ve been a small price to repay. And we all know that he and his boys would’ve done the same for any one of us.”

“But Papa…”

“Stop badgering your father with so much talk,” Rachel slapped more bacon into the skillet. “I’m sure your brothers can tell you just as much after breakfast. Now you go get dressed before you make yourself sick running around half clothed.”

“Yes, Mama.”

Jacoba went to the ladder, but stopped and looked back at her parents.

“Everything is all right, I trust.” Rachel’s sloe dark eyes went to her husband.

Nathan nodded then reached out and took one of her hands. “Adam said things went well. They got Little Joe back without much of a fuss.” He turned back to the fire. “Old Ben needs to thrash that boy a few times to get his attention. I’d tan one of mine where his britches are the thinnest. And I wouldn’t pay no mind to his age.”

Rachel stroked his thatch of wild hair then knelt and turned the ham.

Jacoba prickled all over. It had been Adam that had ridden in, and maybe he had seen her. She wanted to squeal and laugh and dance, but that would draw notice to her, a thing she didn’t want. She instead scurried up the ladder and into the loft. She had a wonderful day to start.

2

Almost a week had passed since Jacoba had first seen Adam Cartwright, and all the seconds, minutes and hours were filled with a longing for his return. Whenever she heard the approach of a horse or a man’s unfamiliar voice, she always yearned for it to be him. It never was, though, and each disappointment dashed her hopes a little more that she held any interest for him.

The day was very warm but being in the foothills of the Sierras softened the sharp edge from the heat. Jacoba had gone to the small stream about a twenty minute slow walk from the cabin for water to make some of her mother’s lemonade. Lemons were a rarity in these parts, so when they got them they made the most of them.

While she hummed to herself, she stooped and plunged the bucket into the icy mountain tributary. She let her eyes and mind rove about her surroundings. The breathtaking nature she found herself caught up in never failed to inspire awe. The impressive pines and these majestic, craggy mountains – wild and unforgiving of man’s mistakes – had left her goggle-eyed with wonder from the very beginning and it hadn’t diminished. This country – at its most rugged and untamed – defied any imaginings of anyone who had never experienced it.

She dipped her hand into the crystal water and drank of it. It was pure and sweet as none she had ever tasted back home in New Haven. However, as she soaked up the exhilarating beauty around her, she became aware of a rustle in the undergrowth. She looked in the direction she thought it had come from and listened. It came again. At first it didn’t alarm her – probably only a curious squirrel or timid rabbit – but it continued to draw closer. Then she thought she discerned a low, rumbling growl, and her unease began to mount with each passing second.

Then with the suddenness of a lighting flash, a cougar burst from the thick weeds and heavy brambles. She screamed and scrambled backward. Her left hand splashed into the water while the other dropped to her right thigh. She didn’t have time to think she would die. Then a loud crack echoed in her ears. The cat sprawled lifeless on her legs and pinned her to the ground. Her eyes riveted to the blood that swelled from the animal and ran onto her skirt.

The pressure left her legs, and she found herself jerked to her feet. A rich voice came at her through a mist, but she couldn’t take her gaze from the dead cougar. Them someone shook her. Still she couldn’t look away. They shook her harder. She looked around, and did so right into the dark, brooding eyes of Adam Cartwright.

“Miss Martell.” But she only continued to stare at him. “I need to know if you’re hurt.”

It wasn’t fear that paralyzed her but him, and she couldn’t talk or move. Powerful arms scooped her up from the ground, but her eyes stayed on those fine features. She was barely aware of anything but him and just realized when he put her up into the saddle. He got on behind her and seemed to wrap around her as he took the reins. All at once her strength evaporated. She slumped back against his solid, broad chest, and could feel his heart as it beat into her own.

Adam could feel the quiver of her willowy body against him. His arm stole about her slim waist in part to keep her on the horse, but most of all because he wanted to. She brought forth feelings that he had never experienced around a woman before. Not even when he had kissed Lotta Crabtree had he known it. It made his pulse race, and thoughts whirr in his skull. Energy – like one felt from being too close to a lightning strike – coursed through him. His skin tingled, and he couldn’t rein in his respiration. Something had happened to his life since he had first seen this woman, and desire was the only handle he could put on it.

Under normal circumstances Jacoba would have enjoyed the ride through such country. However, now all that consumed her was him, and nothing else could get in. The warmth and power of him, the steady rising and falling of his chest against her back, the sound of his breathing close to her ears was all she knew. As long as she was close to him, nothing else mattered.

The horse ambled on through what should have been a perfect time, but the quick burst of fright had left her exhausted and mind numb. The gentle sway of the animal rocked her into calm restfulness. Once, as a hoof slipped, his arm tightened around her, and her breath caught. She wasn’t even aware when they stopped.

“Martell!” Adam slid from the horse’s rump. “Nathan Martell!”

Nathan, followed close by Matthew, came out of the pole barn with a spade grasped in his hand. “Jacoba!” The implement hit the ground.

Adam had just lifted Jacoba down when her father and brother joined them.

“Jacoba.” Nathan’s eyes lit on the blood that covered the front to his daughter’s dress.

“I don’t think she’s hurt, just shaken up.” Adam eased her toward her father. “The blood isn’t hers.”

Nathan took hold of her arm. “Tell me what happened.”

“A cougar I’ve been trailing for several days. It’s been killing our cattle, and the other night it got one of our remuda.”

Rachel came out of the house as she dried her hands on the tail of her apron. Her face went ashen as she saw her daughter. “Jacoba, child!”

“She was getting water from the stream when it lunged at her, but I shot it. I think she’s just scared.”

Jacoba turned flashing eyes on him. “I’m not scared.”

“No, I don’t think you are.” Adam grinned and pushed his silver-gray hat back. It released a shock of pure black hair that fell over his forehead.

Nathan’s brow dropped into a scowl. “I don’t know how many times me and the boys have told her not to wander off alone. It’s just not safe.”

“Well, I guess you could say it’s mostly my fault. After all, I did chase it into her. And I couldn’t just stand back and watch it attack her.”

Nathan gave Jacoba over to her mother’s care. “Thank you, Mr. Cartwright. We’ve got a houseful of boys, but only one girl. But to lose any one of them wouldn’t set well.” He extended his hand. “We owe you a debt.”

Adam took it and gave it a hearty pump. “No, you don’t. I’m just glad I was there. Of course, if I hadn’t been, the cougar probably wouldn’t have been either. But I guess we’ll never know for sure.”

“I’ve just put on a fresh pot of coffee, if you would like some.”

“I would very much, Mrs. Martell.” Adam tipped his hat to her and her daughter. “But I have brothers who’ll complain if I don’t do my share of the work.” He swung into the saddle. “Maybe some other time.”

Nathan rested his hand on the horse’s neck. “You’ve always been welcome in this house, Mr. Cartwright, and even more so now.”

“I’ve never questioned that. Good day, ladies.”

Jacoba’s eyes never left him as he turned the big chestnut and rode away. As her mother and brother took her back to the house – much against her protests – she continued to glance over her shoulder as Adam galloped off.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jacoba sat on her stump with one leg brought up in front of her, and her arms wrapped around it. She took a deep draught of the cool air that her father said held the promise of rain. The sky had turned gray, but the sun still laced fiery fingers across it. Somewhere off in the pines that scented the evening a whippoorwill called in plaintive notes, and the insects seemed to hug the ground. A more spectacular night she had never seen anywhere.

Her horrendous experience earlier in the day had been put behind her, not that some trace of it didn’t still linger. She could have been killed – she knew that – but Adam had been there to make sure that didn’t happen. She recalled little of the actual attack, but every detail of his closeness had been etched deep into her consciousness.

“If Mama saw you sitting like that, she’d have your hide. Maybe I should go tell her.”

Jacoba looked around into Isaac’s jaunty face. “And maybe I should tell Papa about a few things you think you have gotten away with.”

“Extortion is beneath you.”

“Nothing is beneath a person when it comes to taking care of their self.”

He snickered as he came to stand beside her. “I don’t see how you can be so calm after what happened to you today. Most girls’d still be all atwitter. But then my sister’s not like most girls.” He blew sweet smoke into the air. “I would like to know something, and I would hope not to be thrashed too severely for wanting to.”

“That all depends on what it is.”

“Oh, it’s nothing much. I’ve just been wondering why, with all the eligible men here and in New Haven, you set your cap for Adam Cartwright after seeing him only the once.”

Jacoba rested her chin on her knee and let her eyes stray to the faraway amethyst hills. “I don’t know for sure. I only know that from the moment I first laid eyes on him I knew he was the one. I can’t explain it, so please don’t make me try.” She hugged her leg closer. “I can only hope that he comes to feel the same for me.”

“He will, even if it’s not his plan to.”

“He doesn’t strike me as the kind that can be influenced so easily, not that I would want him to be. He’ll love me or he won’t and on his own terms with nothing in between. And if I have to make him want me, then I don’t think I would want him.”

“I can’t imagine that that applies to Adam Cartwright.”

His remark struck a blow where it hurt the worst – her heart. “Not even Adam Cartwright.”

Isaac clamped the pipe in his teeth and stepped around behind her. He enclosed his arms about her and rested his cheek against the side of her head. “Judging by the reaction that most men have to you, I’d say you have nothing to worry about.”

Dear, sweet Isaac just didn’t understand. Jacoba wanted to be loved for whom and what she was, not for how she looked. But, then, Adam Cartwright, from what she had seen and experienced, wasn’t like other men. Maybe she had that in her favor.

Jacoba let herself dissolve into her brother’s loving hold. She tried to push away the thought that she would never have the one she desired, and it hurt. It hurt so bad that she wanted to cry.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A light rain had come through the night – as Nathan had said it would – and still lingered on everything it had touched. The sun hadn’t been up long enough to burn it off and drops of it shone and sparkled like deposits of diamond dust.

Jacoba swung a basket of eggs as she made her way along the wide path that led down from her home. Her long skirt swished over the grass at the edge and wet the hem. She hummed the happiest tune she could think of as her legs wound her forward. The events of the day before were in the past now – youth, in its way, had expelled the trivial and deadened the pain. A new, bright day lay before her. With it came promise, and she didn’t intend to waste a second of it by pining for what maybe wasn’t intended to be hers.

She left the path where it ended next to the livery and blacksmith’s. Her eyes glittered with anticipation. Today Mama had slipped in a few extra eggs for yard goods, and let her go to the store alone, both without Papa’s knowledge. Something special for almost being eaten by a mountain lion, as Mama had put it. Her hand went down to her right leg. Through the folds of her skirt and petticoats she could feel the hard bulge of the small, thin-bladed knife – a gift from her father when she had arrived back in May – in its leather sheath tied around her thigh. It was common knowledge that she carried it wherever she went and could and would without compunction use it – her brothers had seen to that.

As settlements went, this one was nothing more than a broad dirt street bordered on either side by weathered clapboard buildings. The meeting house – which doubled as a church – and the store and the Reverend Mr. Thorn’s house she had been in before. The stable and the shacks where the unmarried men lived were strictly off-limits, and she had no reason to go inside them anyway. Her eyes glanced toward Miss Emily Prigg’s boarding house at the other end of the avenue, if one wanted to stretch a point and call it that. She had heard tales about the way it was decorated, but she had never found a reason to go inside. And, what with Miss Emily’s reputation as a woman alone in a rowdy country, she doubted she ever would. Still that didn’t stop curiosity from tickling her imagination.

Dust and debris retreated before the swipe of Mr. Henry Waxman’s rush broom as he swept the porch of his store.

“Good morning, Mr. Waxman.”

His sky blue eyes went to her as the onslaught of the broom continued. “Good morning, Miss Jacoba. I can’t imagine your folks letting you come down here alone.”

She stopped at the base of the steps, and a mischievous gleam danced in the depths of her black eyes. “Papa and the boys don’t know, and Mama isn’t concerned. The men don’t bother me because I’m Nathan Martell’s daughter and for fear of Miss Emily’s late husband’s shotgun, and the knife they know I’ll use.”

With a cackle he leaned forward on the broom’s handle. “Miss Emily’s Ventilator. Since she powdered that jasper that tried to steal from her nobody wants to get on her bad side. And bothering a girl like you, Miss Jacoba, would sure do it.”

A flock of noisy, honking geese crossed in front of the livery.

He gestured to the basket she held. “I would suppose those are for barter.”

“Just like always. Mama needs bacon, flour, and salt and loaf sugar.” A rosy glow cast over her face. “And she said I could get something special today.”

He swiped at his thinning salt-and-pepper hair then leaned the broom against the wall. “Well you just come on in, and see what I’ve got while I fill your order.”

She came up onto the porch, and they went inside. The store was a conglomeration of stuff and smelled of smoked meat, muslin, weathered wood and gunpowder. Bacon in slabs and salt-cured hams hung from the rough-hewn rafters. In one corner were hoes, spades and other farming implements. Behind the counter were the ammunition and makings, knives and firearms. But what held Jacoba’s attention sat in the middle of the room – a counter filled with bolt after bolt of fabric – and she went straight to it.

“You go right ahead and take a look.” He took the basket from her, which she didn’t really notice. “I’ll sit these over on the counter while I get what your mother wants.”

Jacoba, though, was absorbed in her own world and seemed no longer aware of his presence. A grin spread over his full, round face as he watched her run delicate fingers over the fabric. She was indeed a fine addition to the Rim, and he couldn’t help but wonder how long it would take for some young man to take her as his own. No wonder Nathan and the boys were so protective. He snickered and shook his head then sat the basket on the counter and went into the store room.

Jacoba’s fingertips traced over the cloth, and the sensation was magical. Though only muslin, to her it was as precious as spun silk and captivated the little girl that still dwelled within. Her choice would go to make her first new dress in three years so it had to be perfect. And while each bolt on top was pretty, it wasn’t what she wanted. She would know it when she saw it, if she did.

She had gotten half way through the stack when her eyes lit on something bright. Her heart began to race as she clawed her way to it. This was it. It had a deep red background dotted all over with tiny yellow flowers and green leaves. As her hands trembled, she held the bolt against her shoulder then draped a length of her long raven hair so that it fell over the fabric. The contrast was striking, and she tried to visualize a dress made of the wonderful stuff.

“It looks like you’ve found one to your liking.”

“Oh, yes.”

“All right then, let’s get you set.”

When Jacoba came out of the store she had enough of the material for a dress, everything she had been sent for, plus two yards of red satin ribbon and two cans of peaches for one of her mother’s special cobblers. The eggs had been transferred to another container, and the goods put in the basket she had brought. She looked down at her haul with pride. When it came to bartering she lived up to the term ‘Yankee Trader’. Like all the Martells, she was shrewd at the practice.

As she left the last step she stopped dead in her tracks. A layer of chill bumps covered her arms and legs even in the summer heat. She had the odd sensation that someone watched her, even though the street was deserted except for a rangy hound asleep in the sun and the geese.

Must be my imagination, she thought. She shook the notion loose from her head then started across for home. She only got half way, though, when the awareness that watchful eyes were on her returned with full force. This time she knew it wasn’t her imagination, yet she saw no one except the animals.

Then her head shot up, and her eyes went direct to the ridge several yards down from the clearing where her family’s cabin sat. The horse that stood stock still near a stand of pines was unmistakable, and she recognized it in an instant as she did the man on its back. Her eyes locked with his, and her heart beat with a wild tempo that thought to suffocate her.

He didn’t move. It was as if he and the horse upon which he sat were carved from a single piece of stone. Then, with as much abruptness as she had ever seen, he wheeled the big chestnut and disappeared into the trees. For once in her life Jacoba didn’t know what to do next.

3

The sun warmed Jacoba’s face as she hung clean wash on a line strung from the cabin to a nearby tree. The aroma of her mother’s baking bread filled the air with earthy hominess like nothing else could. Off behind the house someone chopped wood with a vengeance. So for the present she found herself quite alone.

She took one of her father’s shirts from the basket and shook the wrinkles from it, but as she rose she stopped dead. Adam Cartwright stood at the edge of the clearing, and his dark eyes beckoned. She could feel their pull on her, as if someone tugged on a rope that had been tied about her waist. She wanted to go to him, but she didn’t want to appear too brazen so she stood her ground. Then he tilted his head to one side, and the deep corners of his sensuous mouth curved, and she needed no more coaxing.

Hand-in-hand, they faded into the trees. Here, in the light dappled shadows, they would be safe from probing eyes.

He squeezed her elegant fingers. “I want you to meet me by the stream tomorrow.”

She felt a flush come up from the roots of her hair. “Give me one good reason why I should.”

“I thought my asking was reason enough.”

“It has been two weeks since I saw you watching me from the ridge, and there has been nothing since. Now, out of the clear blue sky, you ask me to sneak off and meet you.”

“You heard me, and I never once used the word sneak.”

“I thought that was why we were hiding in the trees.”

“That’s exactly why. But if you don’t want to…”

Jacoba’s breath gushed into her lungs. “I never said I don’t want to. Of course I’ll meet you.”

“Good. Find some excuse to get away from your family, there’s something I want to show you.”

Her expectancy almost ran her down. “I suppose you have a very good reason why you can’t show me now.”

“For the simple fact that there’s no time. Just be at the stream tomorrow when the sun crests the mountains.” A mischievous grin parted his lips. “And I promise not to bring any more cougars.”

That grin melded into her memory to be there for as long as she lived. If she never saw it again she would never forget it. “All right, I’ll think of something, but I won’t lie to them.”

“I’m not telling you to. Just think of some reason to get away.” He released her hand and took a couple steps back. “I’ll be waiting.” Then he merged with the trees and was gone.

Adam took a last glance back as he went to where he had ground tied his horse. If only she wasn’t so beautiful as to boggle a man’s mind. He knew that the image of her standing among the evergreen boughs would haunt him all night like some willowy spirit. As he slipped his foot into the stirrup he hoped that he would be able to keep his agitation from his family. Pa was pretty sharp and his brothers weren’t what one would call stupid, but he had always had a pretty good poker face. However, poker was one thing, and this woman was quite something else altogether.

Jacoba had never felt this way. The heavy scent of the trees draped itself over her, and his touch lingered. With one atop the other, she placed her hands against her throat. She knew that if she were the swooning type that she wouldn’t make it back to the cabin under her own power, but she wasn’t. She just stood and listened to the muffled thump of hoof beats as he rode away and wished she was going with him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

That night, as she had anticipated, sleep was difficult at best, impossible at worst. While her family slept – the silence interspersed by masculine snores – she tossed and stared at the ceiling and tried to contain her exhilaration. It wasn’t working. She fought a losing battle, and she knew it well.

She puffed and flipped over on her side for the umpteenth time, and the straw in her bed rustled. She almost wished she were a man so that she could cuss. Yet, if that were the case she wouldn’t be going through this torment right now. Adam Cartwright would have no interest in her at all except maybe as a friend. She clamped her eyelids together and shuddered at the thought.

Then her eyes flew open. The reason to get away was simple – too simple – and she couldn’t understand why she hadn’t thought of it sooner. As a child – when everything could be and usually had been a new adventure – she had been prone to just wandering off. As she grew, though, and Connecticut became more civilized, her wanderings had ceased. However, after she had come out here they had started again with no explanations or telling anyone where she was going. She would just walk away with her mind beyond the confines of home, and enjoy all that nature had to offer. Her family had pretty much gotten used to them all over again, though they never failed to chastise her for her foolhardiness. These rambles didn’t last very long, and they knew she carried the knife, but still they worried. And since the incident with the cougar their admonitions had only intensified and bored her beyond tears. So, yes, they would start looking for her. She and Adam would have to play it cagey, but she could do that to be with him.

With a contented little sound almost like a purr, she snuggled under the quilt and let her head sink into the feather-stuffed pillow. Now she could go to sleep. A soundless snicker made her feel almost wicked. She could try.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

All morning Jacoba bided her time and tried not to act any different from usual. It wasn’t easy. She helped with the breakfast dishes, swept the cabin floor, made up the loft, and anything else she could think of to pass the time so that nothing would seem out of the ordinary. She made a point of being outside where her eyes could track the progression of the sun across the sky. Once Esau wanted to know why and almost stopped her heart. But a simple explanation seemed to satisfy him, and he went on about his chores.

As she hoed the potatoes she could just hear her father’s gruff voice, “She’s wandered off again. Let’s go find her, boys.” She grinned and hoed a little harder, and tried not to think about getting caught.

Then came the time when the sun would soon ‘crest the mountains’, and as luck would have it she found herself still alone. She let the hoe drop. In the past she had never been tidy about her impromptu meanders, and to do so now would be a dead giveaway. With a final survey, she dashed for the trees, and the whole time made sure no one watched.

Fervent anticipation drove her through the tall grass of the meadow beyond. With the skirt of her faded calico dress and petticoats gathered in one hand, her long sylph-like legs moved as fast as she could make them. Her pulse drummed in her ears like a thousand frantic tom-toms, and butterflies giggled in her stomach, but only he occupied her thoughts.

As she came around a dense thicket her feet seized the ground. Adam crouched on the bank with his broad back to her while the big red horse drank. She let her eyes soak him up then dropped her skirt and slipped up behind him. The animal’s head rose and large brown eyes turned toward her and water dripped from its chin, but Adam seemed too deep in his own thoughts to notice. With a soft touch, she placed a hand on his shoulder.

With a jerk, he looked around and came to his feet. “I would hope that you had no trouble getting away.”

“I didn’t, I just walked off.”

“Most parents I know of would want to know why.”

“They never have. They know me too well.” She looked around them, and her eyes sparkled like radiant stars. “It’s so beautiful out here. It’s nothing like New Haven, and I can’t seem to get enough.”

“Then you’ll like what I’ve got to show you.”

He gathered the reins, stepped into the saddle then leaned down, and extended his arm. Without a second’s hesitation she took it. He gave a tug, and she swung up behind him.

“You’d better hang on. It’d sure be a shame to lose you along the way.”

She put her arms around him, and it sent a rush trough her.

“Better hang on good and tight.”

She scooted closer to the cantle and tightened her hold around him.

He glanced back at her, an impish twinkle to his dark eyes. “That’s just fine.”

He gave the horse a light kick, and they splashed across the stream. Jacoba felt almost indecent, but it didn’t last. She thought of how her mother would react if she could see her daughter sitting astride a horse with her arms around a man who wasn’t her husband, father or brother.

“I’m dying to know where we’re going.”

“That’d ruin the surprise, but then maybe you’re one of those women who don’t like surprises.”

“I guess that all depends on what it is. The ones that try to kill me I can live without, thank you very much.”

“Then I think you’ll like this one. You’re all right back there, I trust.”

“I’m fine. You know, I was beginning to think I wasn’t going to see you again. When I didn’t hear from…”

“I’ve got family I havta get around, too. A father and two brothers, and we’ll leave it at that.”

She agreed and settled into the ride. Her long black hair swayed across her back as the horse lilted in an easy gait. As they moved through Jacoba’s idea of a marvelous dream she lost all sense of time. As if in no particular hurry to reach its destination, the sun moved across the crystal blue sky. A breeze sang in the trees in soft notes as the shoe-top high grass waved and undulated like a yellow-green sea. The whole scene was wondrous, and to her, he was the most wondrous part of it.

All sense of time had hidden itself beneath the joy that filled her close to bursting. So she didn’t know how long they had been riding when they stopped at the edge of a small copse of oak trees.

“We’re here.” He brought his leg over the saddle horn and slid to the ground then reached up, and put his hands on her waist then lifted her down.

“I see nothing more special here.” She didn’t try to conceal her disappointment. “It looks like all the other country we rode through.”

Without a word he took her by the hand and led her to the edge of a drop-off. She gasped, and her eyes went wide and round as she looked out onto a vast lake. “It goes for miles, and I have never seen such an incredible blue. It takes one’s breath away. It’s hard to imagine that it’s real.”

“Oh, it’s real all right. It’s Lake Tahoe.” But he wasn’t looking at the lake. He had seen it many times and – awe inspiring as it never failed to be – it was only water. Now something else consumed him, something far less tangible, and wouldn’t leave him alone.

“I’ve heard of it, but I never dreamed. A sight like this is too glorious to keep to one’s self. It’s meant to be shared with someone.”

“That’s why I brought you here.” His grip tightened on her hand, and her nearness excited him. He had to fight the urge to take her into his arms and feel her against him. But why fight it? Since the ride the day of the cougar attack, he hadn’t been quite right. “I’ve never brought a woman here before. I never wanted to until I saw you.”

It startled her when she looked around – he was different. He took his hat off and tossed it to the ground then pulled her close to him. She felt herself melt into his arms as his warm, moist lips covered hers. Her eyelids drifted down, and she surrendered to the strength that was Adam Cartwright.

Her mind whirled in darkness as he pressed her still closer to him. Then his fingers twined in her ebony tresses, and pulled her head back. A fire smoldered in his eyes. She took a deep, ragged breath as she looked into them so that she wouldn’t smother.

His lips almost brushed hers. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life.”

She gulped, and tried to keep herself breathing. “I think we should…” She gulped again. “Maybe we should start back now. If Papa finds out…”

“You’re probably right.” Sadness replaced the conflagration as he took his hand from her hair. “I doubt if your parents would approve. Not so much of our being alone together as their daughter with an untamed Cartwright.”

Her eyes outlined every feature of that flawless face. “I approve. Oh, Adam.” She put her hand to the back of his head, and brought it down to kiss the finely sculpted mouth she had longed for since she had first seen him.

He gathered her into his arms, and she let her head fall back against his shoulder. He carried her to the horse and put her up behind the saddle. As he retrieved his hat, he looked at her with an elfin gleam in his eyes. It made her heart pound, and the blood rush in her temples. He eased into the saddle, and her arms went around him as if she had done it for years.

“I’ll take you home now.”

She rested her cheek against his back as he turned the horse, and kicked him into a lively trot. Jacoba gave no thought to anything except the man that her arms now encircled. Papa and Mama and her brothers and what they would do if she and Adam were caught were of no consequence – she would cross that road when she came to it. She would fight for what she had found, even if it was against her own family.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

They had been gone longer than they had intended when they came to the stream. Voices called her name, and she sat straight up in near panic.

“That’s Papa and the boys. They can’t know about us – not yet.” He took her arm, and she slid from the horse’s rump. She came to stand in front of him, and didn’t realize she had placed her hand on his leg. “I hope it won’t be too long before I see you again.”

He cupped her chin in his hand, and gave her a cryptic smile. “We’ll see.”

She stepped back and watched as he rode away at a gallop. “Good-bye, my love.”

She didn’t return to Earth until he had ridden from sight behind a thick stand of pines. The voices continued to call as she hiked her skirt and waded calf-deep through the icy water to the other side. Her feet sloshed in her shoes as she came up onto the bank, but she couldn’t have cared less.

Just then Isaac came into sight, a shotgun strangled in his fist. “Pa! Lucas! Matt! Esau! I found ‘er! I found ‘er!”

She stood her ground as he rushed to her, and hugged her so that she thought her backbone would snap.

He held her at arm’s length, and eyed her with suspicion. “I would like to know where you have been. We’ve been looking for you for hours, and were beginning to think the worst. Ma’s frantic, and Pa’s fit to be tied.”

“Well, you can see for yourself that I’m perfectly all right.” She gave a noncommittal shrug. “I haven’t been eaten by any cougar or mauled by any bear.”

Isaac shut one eye, and looked her up-and-down. “Jacoba, you’ve been up to…”

At that moment her father and brothers appeared, and saved her the effort of making an explanation.

“Jacoba, my girl!” Nathan handed his Sharps to Matthew, and took her in a massive bear hug. He kissed the top of her head, and almost finished what Isaac had started. “I can’t imagine where you’ve been off to. You had us all scared out of our skins, and your mother’s half sick with worry.”

“I’m all right, Papa, really.” She released herself from his hold, and turned all the way around. “See, not a mark on me. You all worry too much.”

“You don’t worry enough.” Lucas glowered at her. ‘You’re not in Connecticut any more. You don’t care if the rest of us…”

“That’s enough,” Nathan said, a harsh quality to the words. “Your sister’s safe, and that’s all that matters.”

Lucas propped one balled hand on his hip. “And I’d like to know where she was that she didn’t hear us calling her.”

“I said that’s enough. You know I don’t like to fell a tree twice.”

“Yes, sir.” But that didn’t stop Lucas from giving her a frosty scowl.

Jacoba didn’t care. She floated among the clouds like a soap bubble, and wasn’t about to let anything spoil this feeling of pure euphoria.

Nathan put an arm around her shoulders. “Now let’s go home, and give your mother some relief.”

As they headed toward the home place, Jacoba saw that Isaac watched her like a cat would watch a mouse hole. It made the cold dread that he knew settle into her, and a knot swell in her throat.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was right before supper when Jacoba went to the barn for the evening milking. Grace, who had come all the way from Connecticut with the family, was a gentle creature with large soulful eyes. Her only bad habit was that she would kick over the pail if not hobbled. Once she had finished with that Jacoba popped down on the three-legged stool that her father had made. She spoke in soothing, melodious tones and patted the downy brown-and-white side then began to work the soft, pliable teats. Streams of milk filled the pail with noisy abandon, and she felt the urge to hum.

Isaac leaned against one of the poles of the barn, and his eyes followed every move she made. He liked to watch his sister. She moved with such fluidity and ease of motion that she made him think of a dancer. And her voice sounded like an Angel’s straight from Heaven. “No one milks a cow quite like you do.”

Her head snapped around, but her fingers continued to work. “Pish posh.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. The chore became more and more difficult under his constant scrutiny, and she wished he would just go away.

“You’ve been watching me like a hawk that has found its next meal ever since we got back.” She dared not look at him again. “I don’t know what you think you know but…”

“You were with him.”

The question came like an explosion, and her startled eyes shot to his face as her hands stopped working.

“I thought so.” He took his pipe from his shirt pocket and gave its bowl a loud rap on the pole. “You had that look about you. Fortunately I don’t think Pa and the others noticed. I don’t suppose you’d mind telling me where you went.”

“He…” She shifted on the stool. “He wanted to show me something.”

He sucked on the pipe’s stem then beat it against the pole again.

“I really wish you wouldn’t do that.”

“Sorry, but it hasn’t been drawing like it should.” He shook his head and stuffed it back into his pocket. “You still haven’t told me where the two of you went.”

“Lake Tahoe, if you must know.” She tried to return to the milking, but she had become all thumbs.

“That’s right; you’d never been there before.” He cocked his head to one side. “I wonder how he knew that.”

She spun on the stool to face him. “Please, Isaac, don’t spoil it. Don’t tell anyone. Papa and Mama wouldn’t understand, and it would only make it harder on me and Adam. Oh, please.”

It wasn’t like his sister to beg for anything, and it brought out a new side of her. For a change she didn’t seem so cock sure of herself. He got down on one knee before her in the straw, and took her hands in both of his. “I thought you knew me better than that. I would never come between you and what would make you happy, and clearly Adam Cartwright makes you happy. You’re bright as a silver dollar in the well water.” He brushed a strand of hair back from her face, and pushed it behind one ear. “I only hope he’s good enough for you.”

“I hope I’m good enough for him.”

“There isn’t a man on this earth that’s too good for you.” He kissed her on the tip of the nose. “If this is the one you want, all you have to do is ask for my help.”

Her chin trembled. “I hope you mean that.”

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t.”

Tears stung her eyes as she threw her arms around his neck. For the first time she felt as if she had a good chance to carry this off.

He hugged her then held her away from him. “Now you’d better get back to work, and I’d better leave you alone before somebody sees us and wants to know what’s going on.” He kissed her again then got up and walked off.

A quiver ran through her – she had an ally and a good one. Now anything was possible. She patted the cow and started to hum again as the milk resumed its rhythm. Then that sense of being observed came over her as it had the day she had seen Adam watching her from the ridge. She tried to override it, but it only grew stronger until she had to stop and look around her. She saw no one and had started to think herself being foolish until she turned her attention toward the cabin. Her mother stood at the corner – a towel in her hands – and watched her only daughter. They stared at each other for several seconds then Rachel turned and went back inside.

The bottom fell out of Jacoba’s elation, and her body went taut as a fiddle string. She didn’t want to think that maybe Mama knew, but what else could she do?

4

Since she had come to the Rim, Jacoba had never seen a more resplendent day as that Saturday. August and its sister month of September were two of her favorites. With August came the hot, less humid Dog Days and September brought the waning days of summer and autumn’s first glimmer of promise. This August day held something special, though she had no idea what it could be. Adam had refused to tell her, but he had been earnest in his insistence that she make their rendezvous. She had learned not to push him, so she had agreed.

She clucked as she sprinkled cracked corn over the ground. The chickens pecked at it with pleasant, almost musical sounds. Even the big speckled rooster – another pioneer from New Haven – made the most of a good thing.

Anticipation mounted as the time to meet Adam drew closer, and it absorbed her into her own private musings. She had become so lost to the world that she wasn’t aware of the shadow that fell over her. She did, however, notice the firm fingers that dug into her arm. Her head yanked around, and she froze. It was Isaac, and his expression rattled her. “Isaac, something’s wrong. You look…”

“It’s Pa. He wants to see you.”

She went cold and hollow, and her heart seemed to vibrate in her breast. She wasn’t even aware of the chickens as they picked around her feet. “If I know Papa, he didn’t say why.”

“He doesn’t tell me everything, but I’m afraid I already know.” He swallowed hard. “This morning I overheard him and Lucas talking about you running off for the past two weeks. I think he’s going to ask you about it. The other day I caught Lucas trying to follow you, but I got him interested in something else.”

Jacoba’s throat closed, and she had to fight down her rising alarm.

“I’ve done everything I can to cover for you, but you know Pa. He may not catch on right at first, but it doesn’t take him long to sort things out, and he’s a pretty good guesser.” He glanced around to make sure they were still alone. “You know how Pa gets when he’s suspicious.”

Jacoba gave the pan a swing. Corn spattered over the ground and sent the chickens into frenzy. “Isaac, I have to go. Adam’s going to be waiting for me, and he said it’s very important that I get away this time.”

“You know I can’t refuse you when you look at me that way.” He nudged her toward the trees. “Now git. I’ll do what I can here.”

She dropped the pan and hugged him. “Thank you, Isaac.” Then she shot off like a wild rabbit.

The pines needles brushed against her like sharp, accusing fingers as she parted her way through the trees, but she ignored them. As she crossed the meadow her legs surged her forward, and pumped the fervent blood through her veins and arteries. Soon she would be with him to find out what she could only hope he wanted to see her about.

She made it to the stream faster than she ever had before. Her voice rang out in the clear, crisp silence as she called out to him, but no answer came. She spun in place as her eyes tried to take in all of her surroundings at once to catch sight of him. He wasn’t there. Emotion ran away with her head, and the onslaught of reasons why he hadn’t come almost flattened her. There were hundreds of explanations why he hadn’t come, but one frightened her above everything else.

Tears stung her eyes like lemon juice, and she wanted to fall into a heap and bawl like a baby. The pounding in her ears grew louder, and it didn’t take long to realize that it wasn’t her heart. She whirled as the big red horse reined in from a full gallop, and its front hooves braced in the dirt. Adam leapt from the saddle before the animal had come to a complete stop. He and Jacoba ran at each other with arms wide. They caught each other in a passionate embrace, and he swung her around as they laughed like exuberant schoolchildren. Then he crushed her to him, and her feet dangled above the ground as he kissed her mouth hard.

Breathless, she rested her head against his chest so that she could hear the rhythmic thump and held onto him for dear life. “I thought you weren’t going to come.”

He pulled her away from him and stood her down hard – his dark hazel eyes alight with fire. “I told you I would. I’m not in the habit of making promises I don’t intend to keep.”

She went shamefaced and looked away from him. “I was afraid… I was afraid that you had gotten tired of me.”

His fingers bit into the soft flesh of her arms as he pulled her closer. “Not as long as I’m alive, and not even after.”

His head lowered and their lips met as their eyes closed. Enveloped in one another’s arms they were unaware when an unannounced light summer rain showered them. For a full two minutes neither of them took heed of it. He put his face against her neck and kissed the velvety skin then looked up and batted his eyelids against it.

The soft drops spattered in her face as she looked up into it with child-like wonder and astonishment.

With her hand in his, he led her back to the horse. He took his coat from where he had tied it to the saddle and draped it around her. They were both soaked through so it didn’t matter, but it did to him.

He looked down at her with something new she had never seen on him before as his gaze seemed to outline every inch of her. His fingers bunched on the coat’s lapels, and he pulled her to him. Those wonderful dark hazel windows to his soul harbored a tenderness that surprised her. In fact, much about this mercurial man surprised her. She knew she could take a lifetime to get to know all the aspects of him, and revel in every second.

“I think I should take you home.” She started to speak, but his fingertips stopped any forthcoming words. “There’s something I want to ask your father.”

She gulped and felt warm all over, and the coolness of the rain couldn’t touch it. Now her voice wouldn’t come, and she just stared at him.

He put her up behind the saddle then climbed on in front of her. As the horse turned she snuggled close to him, and held onto to him like a drowning woman would to any lifeline.

The rain continued its gentle patter as the big chestnut sauntered on. She let the animal’s movement lull her into the security that sat in the saddle in front of her. Jacoba knew that she could brave anything that might come save for one: the loss of him. Whether it be to the death of his body or the death of his love, she knew that either one would kill her. With a shudder she shoved away such a dreadful thought and hugged him tighter.

His grasp closed over her graceful hands. In all his born days Adam had never dreamed that he could feel like this. This woman stirred his ardent nature and brought forth in him a kind of protectiveness that he never knew existed. He wanted her. He would do what was necessary to have her, and take pity on anyone who ever tried to harm her, and if anyone ever did there would be blood.

He could feel the tension in her body increase as they drew closer to the clearing. He suspected that her father would hit the roof once he found out about their secret trysts, but he didn’t care. What he felt deep in his chest could make a man brave anything or, for that matter, anyone. That even meant the fierce indignation of Nathan Martell and his sons.

Then there was his family. He hadn’t told them about her, and the thought of how they would react to the news made elopement very appealing. That is, until they got home, and he incurred the full wrath of his father. That made even the fury of a cyclone pleasing by comparison. So it had to be, because he wouldn’t give her up for any reason or anyone.

A squeeze on her hand told Jacoba she was home. The rain had stopped and things had already begun to dry off in the glare of an August sun as they came around the trees. She heard Esau call out that she was back, and it sent a shiver along her spine. Then her father came out of the cabin, and she cringed at the sight of him. As long as she had known him she had seen that black scowl often enough to wish she could be somewhere else. Her grim-faced brothers – with the exception of Isaac, who looked more like a sick puppy – gathered around him while her mother stood in the doorway.

Nathan motioned his eldest forward with a quick jerk of his arm. “Lucas, go get your sister.”

Lucas stomped over to them, his face as livid as his father’s. As he reached up to her Jacoba put her foot against his chest and gave him a withering glare. He knew to back off.

Jacoba slid down and returned Adam’s coat to him. His smile comforted and reassured her. She held her hand out to him, but Lucas pulled her back.

“Come over here next to me, young lady. Right now!”

Jacoba didn’t want to leave Adam, but she knew better than to defy her father, most of all now.

Lucas shot Adam a dirty look. “I thought you were my friend. My own sister.” Then he spun on his heel and rejoined his family as he pulled a helpless Jacoba behind him.

Nathan gave his daughter a look of reprimand then turned his attention back to Adam. “I demand to know how long has this been going on.”

“Long enough to know that I want to marry your daughter, Mr. Martell.”

Jacoba watched her father’s face, and it seemed to darken.

“You sneak around behind my back, and now you expect me to say yes.” Nathan’s eyes narrowed. “I hope there is there no reason why you have to marry her.”

Adam brought his leg up and hung it over the pommel. “I don’t have to marry her, Mr. Martell. I want to. There have been no improprieties, and I’ve taken no liberties.” His mischievous smile rose to his mischievous eyes. “Unless you call kissing a beautiful girl like your daughter improper.”

Lucas, Matthew and Esau grew angrier and started forward.

“Boys, hold your ground.” Nathan stepped in front of Jacoba as if to shield her from this man. “I want to know why you didn’t just come out and ask me to court my daughter.”

“I didn’t think you’d approve of a girl like Jacoba with a wild Cartwright. But that really doesn’t matter any more. I’m in love with her, and I want her for my wife.” He leaned forward against his leg. “So I’m asking your permission for her hand in marriage, Mr. Martell. But even if you say no that won’t change how I feel about her.” He looked at Jacoba as she peered around from behind her father. “I don’t know about her.”

Jacoba threw out her haughty chin. “My mind won’t change either.”

Nathan turned on her. “You know your place, girl.”

“Yes, Papa, and I believe it’s with him. I mean no disrespect, but I am a grown woman, and you and Mama,” she glanced at her mother who still stood in the doorway, “have always taught us to think with our own minds. That’s what I’ve done.”

Rachel stepped out into the sunshine and took her daughter’s arm. “Nathan, we’ve got to let them make their own decisions and mistakes; as we’ve made ours.” Her tone softened. “You can’t have forgotten how my parents tried to keep us apart.” The light sparkled in her eyes. “But they weren’t able to because we simply loved each other too much. It will be the same with Jacoba and this young man.”

“I just don’t want her making a mistake.” Nathan’s eyes darted to the girl.

“Once upon a time we wondered if maybe we were.”

One could almost see the wheels work behind Nathan’s coppery eyes. Then he turned to Jacoba and took her chin in his hand. “Tell me true, girl, if you love this man.”

“Yes, Papa, with all my heart and being, and for as long as I live.”

Nathan took several steps toward Adam. “And you. You say you love my daughter. Tell me how much.”

“I’d die for her if I had to.”

Nathan pondered this for several seconds then nodded. “The last time you were here my wife asked you in for coffee. That offer’s still good if you want to take it.”

When Adam didn’t move Nathan motioned him down from his horse. Adam dismounted and came to stand before his prospective father-in-law. Jacoba seemed to hold her breath.

“I told you that you would always be welcome in this house, and I’m not one to go back on my word. I suppose there are worse things than having a Cartwright for a son-in-law.” Nathan extended his right hand, and Adam took it. “Welcome to the family, son. Don’t give me cause to regret this.”

“I won’t, sir. With Jacoba I never could. And if you didn’t kill me my own father would.” Adam ducked his head and said to himself – “He may anyway.”

Jacoba wanted to jump and squeal for joy, but propriety didn’t allow for such behavior. She turned to her mother and took her in a sedate hug. “Thank you, Mama.”

“It was your father’s doing.”

Nathan touched his daughter’s cheek as she faced him. His little girl wasn’t a child any more, but a grown up, beautiful young woman, and now a young man had asked for her hand. “My Jacoba.”

“Thank you, Papa.” She hugged him and leaned into his embrace.

Jacoba went to her brothers and hugged each of them. They seemed to be almost as excited as she, with the exception of Lucas – as he was too grown up and above such things. She saved Isaac for last, and they spoke so no one else could hear.

“I’m sorry, Jacoba. Pa cornered me, and I had to tell.”

“That’s all right. It was time anyway.”

“Ma knew. From the very start, she knew. She’s the one that told me to help you.”

Jacoba looked at her mother with new understanding, and Rachel smiled. At that moment they shared something that only a mother and daughter could.

Adam looked to his Jacoba as her brothers came to him with the inevitable handshakes and backslaps, but his keen gaze stayed on her. She soaked him in, and wished they were back among the Ponderosas and meadow grass.

Lucas gave Adam a resounding wallop between the shoulder blades. “Looks like we’re gonna be brothers.”

“That’s just all I need.” Adam’s expression turned somewhat ill. “More brothers.”

The Martell men laughed and supplied another round of backslaps as Rachel took her daughter in tow.

Jacoba gave her mother a squeeze and lowered her voice. “Thank you, Mama.”

The love and pride that shined in Rachel’s eyes required no words. Her daughter was a woman now and soon would be a wife, and someday, the Good Lord willing, a mother.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

For over an hour Adam stayed with the Martells – a new member of the family had to be welcomed in the proper fashion. However, all too soon, it came time for him to go back home. Nathan allowed Jacoba to walk with her intended to his horse while the whole family watched from the cabin’s only window. So, while the young couple stayed side-by-side, they were careful not to breach proper etiquette.

“Your mother makes the best peach cobbler I’ve ever eaten. I had no idea canned peaches could taste so good.”

“She is a wizard with them.” She grinned. “I didn’t know that anyone could put more cream on theirs than Isaac, but now I know different.”

They stopped where Sport was tethered, and he pulled the rein loose from where it had been wrapped around a low hanging branch.

“Adam, I hope you’re as sure about this as I am.”

“More sure than I have ever been of anything.” His brow furrowed, and he went sullen and pensive. “It’s just that, now I’ve gotta tell my family.”

“I can’t believe that you haven’t told them about me. Maybe you are…”

“No. I’ll never be ashamed of you. Don’t you even think such a thing. I don’t regret asking your father for your hand and never will. I can’t live that long.” He glanced toward the cabin then caressed her cheek with the backs of his fingers. “It’s just that I don’t think Pa’s gonna understand or take it well.”

“You sound almost afraid of him.”

“Not afraid, but he can be a bit of a bear, most of the time actually.”

“I can’t imagine what they’re like. You have told me so little about them.”

“Pa may scare you a bit at first, but you’ll get used to him.” His face brightened and a fond grin tugged at one side. “And I think Hoss could be friends with anybody, especially if they can cook.”

Her head tilted and a puzzled frown arched her eyebrows. “That’s an odd name.”

“His real name’s Erik. He’s a big man in more ways than one, and I know you’ll like him.” His sullen demeanor returned. “It’s Little Joe that worries me most.”

“Little Joe – he’s the one that you had to go into that town after.”

He nodded with a ragged breath. “He’s headstrong and stubborn just like the rest of us, but with a hot, southern temper. We’ve butted heads more than once, and sometimes I get the distinct impression that he resents me.” He laughed, but it held no humor. “Pa doesn’t like it when we fight, but with the both of us under the same roof blows are a foregone conclusion.”

She let her eyes roam over his face. It boggled her mind that anyone could resent such a man, and most of all, his own brother. “I think I am going to like your papa, in spite of your trying to frighten me.”

“You’ll havta call him ‘Pa, but only after he invites you to.”

“I can do that.” She wanted to hold him so much that it caused actual pain. “For you I can do and bear anything.”

“I’d put my arms around you, but your father’d probably come out on me with a shotgun. I don’t wantta get on his bad side just now, so I guess I might as well go home and break the news of my impending wedding.”

“I hope they won’t try to stop it.”

“They know me too well to do something like that, even Pa.” He gave her cheek one more caress then eased into the saddle and reached down and took her hand. “One day soon you’ll be riding home with me.”

“And I will count every second until then.”

Then pure wickedness danced in the recesses of his dark eyes. “What the heck. It can’t do any harm with your whole family watching.”

She frowned in confusion. “You’re up to something.”

“Yes, I am.” He leaned down, put his hand behind her head and kissed her square on the mouth, then spun the horse with a whoop and rode off at full lope.

She staggered backward as she watched him go. Sometimes he left her breathless, and this was one of those times.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jacoba had known that going to bed would be a futile waste of time. Her insides felt like the contents of a champagne bottle that had been shaken and agitated and strained at the cork that contained them. It had been a glorious day that had brought forth the promise of a shining future, but it had left her pent up and unable to settle.

She laid there for what felt like eons, her mind a whirr with all the possibilities that being married to a man like Adam Cartwright entailed. Her eyelids had begun to ach from trying to force sleep on them, but she remained wide awake. With a grunt, she flopped onto her side as exhilaration gave way to frustration. She turned back toward her family and realized that they had gone off and left her again.

“Enough of this,” she said to herself.

She threw back the quilt and clambered up from the floor. Her feet went into her slippers, and she draped her heavy shawl over her shoulders then started down the ladder with great stealth.

The fire downstairs had been banked for the night, and its warm aura spread little past the hearthstone. It brushed over Jacoba as she passed it on her way to the door, but she didn’t stop to enjoy it.

The night sky made Jacoba think of the inside of an ink well, and pin dots of light glittered like luminescent diamonds against black velvet. As she stepped down into the yard, she inhaled deep of the invigorating air and began to search for her star. After almost four minutes the search ended as she found its new position. A sensation ran through her like being filled with warm honey as it twinkled with more brilliance than all the others; her star, her Adam.

She tugged the shawl closer and hugged herself against the chill. “I knew from the moment I saw you that you were meant to be mine.” Then the light that shone in her eyes turned foreboding. “And no mere human had better try to take you from me.” Her hand went to her thigh. “I would fight for you, I would kill…, and I would die.”

5

Morning sunlight streamed in through the window and open door of the Martell cabin along with the breeze that smelled of late summer haze. Rachel, in a chair pulled from the table to the dormant fireplace, mended one of her husband’s shirts. Jacoba sat on the stool near her mother’s feet, a puff of red flowered fabric gathered into her lap. She had completed her new dress from the special fabric she had found at Mr. Waxman’s. Now she added the finishing touch, three red buttons she had saved since she had been ten. They had been given to her by her Aunt Abitha, who had taken them from an old bonnet.

Jacoba snipped the thread with a pair of long, narrow-bladed scissors. Careful not to stick herself, she laced the needle through her sleeve. “There.” She held the dress against herself for her mother’s inspection. “All done.”

Rachael leaned forward and raised the tail to examine the hem. “You do fine work just like your Grandma Devon. Still, you aren’t quite finished, and the buttons will need to be moved farther down from the neckline.”

Jacob’s brow furrowed. “I’ve sewn every seam, and tacked them eight times like you have always taught me. The hooks are tight, the hems are all in, and I like the buttons there.”

“Still, they are going to have to be moved.” Rachael put her sewing box and mending in the floor, and went to the sturdy oak mantle over the hearth. With gentle hands, she took down a small tortoiseshell chest and sat back down.

Jacoba had grown up seeing the little box that held her mother’s treasures, though she had never looked inside. As a child, she used to like to run her fingers over the fine carving on the lid, but she had gotten stern warning from her grandmothers never to disturb its contents or even to look in at them. This was a part of her mother’s private world, and it wasn’t for her or her brothers to have knowledge of.

She watched as her mother’s nimble fingers opened back the lid. She took out a piece of folded, age-yellowed muslin, then closed the chest and handed the small cloth parcel to her daughter. Rachel’s eyes generated a tender radiance as Jacoba pulled back the fabric to reveal the prize inside.

With an audible gasp, Jacoba lifted with care the most delicate piece of needle work she had ever seen: a collar and cuffs in airy lace of the softest ecru. “This is the loveliest crochet work I have ever seen.”

“My Grandma Humber made it for my wedding dress. They were white then, but I think they’re pretty like this.” Rachael reached out and touched the back of Jacoba’s hand. “I have saved them for the day when my daughter would get married.”

Jacoba’s eyes glistened with tears as she refolded the muslin with great care and clutched the precious keepsake to her bosom. She stood and gathered her new dress up so that it wouldn’t drag the floor. Her arms went around her mother and she hugged and kissed one of the most precious people in her life. “As wonderful as these are, you are the most wonderful gift I have ever received.”

With a sage smile, Rachael took her daughter’s chin in her fingers. “Your father, and you and your brothers are my finest gift. And when you marry Adam and have children of your own, they will be yours.” She handed over the little chest. “Now please put this back on the mantle.”

Jacoba had just returned the box to its usual place when someone knocked at the door. “I wonder who that could be so early in the day.”

Rachael had returned to her mending and kept her eyes focused on it. “I am sure I don’t know. Maybe you should open it and find out.”

“Adam!” The dress went behind Jacoba’s back lest he catch sight of her surprise. “You shouldn’t be here.”

A devious glint crept into his wicked eyes. “Well, now, I don’t know about you, but I’m gonna get married.”

“That’s a fine how-do-you-do.” Heat began to prickle at her skin. “I don’t see or hear from you in four days then, out of a clear blue sky, you announce that we’re getting married. Why my dress isn’t even finished yet.”

“That’s all right, we’ll wait.”

She scowled in puzzlement. “I am sure that I haven’t the slightest idea what you are talking about.” He raised a single eyebrow, and she knew that something was afoot. She peered around him.

Her father and brothers and three men she for sure and for certain didn’t know were all decked out in their finest. Then she took notice of what Adam wore. He wasn’t dressed in his usual rough clothes. He wore gray britches and a black broadcloth coat over a pristine white shirt with a black string tie. A black hat with a silver-studded band he held in his hands – simple, elegant and, as always, magnificent.

“Well, you’re just going to have to wait with these other miscreants while I get ready.” She frowned with mock ire and pushed him back then closed the door. She whirled on her mother who continued to sew with complete nonchalance. “You knew about this.”

“Your father told me last night. It was Adam’s idea and…”

“And Papa and my brothers went along with it.” Her mouth pulled into a pucker. “Oh, what a family I was born into.” She shook her head. “And what a family I am marrying into.”

Rachael put her mending aside and went to her daughter. “This is one of the most wondrous days in any woman’s life.” She cupped Jacoba’s face in her hands. “To find someone that you love and want to make this commitment to is one of the gladdest things we can attain to. It’s a time that you will remember and cherish for as long as you shall live, and it is one that will make you glad for being a woman.”

Jacoba swung her arms about her mother’s neck, the little muslin packet still clutched in her hand. “I never dreamed that I could be this blissfully happy. I feel as if I could burst out of sheer joy.”

“Hold onto that happiness, and when hard and bleak times come, and they will, return to this day, and it will see you through.” She kissed Jacoba on the cheek and basked in her daughter’s glow. “Now let us not keep that fine young man of yours waiting any longer than we must.”

It took close to an hour to add the finishing touches to the dress and for everything to be made ready. Jacoba would never have another day like this, and all had to be just so.

Rachael came out of the cabin first, and a mother’s pride lit her face like the flame of a candle. Jacoba came out right behind her, and it didn’t require a scholar to see her exhilaration. The lace collar and cuffs hand been sewn to her special dress and the buttons were moved down to make room. Her hair had been tied back with red satin ribbon and a length of it had been tied around her throat with a bow in back.

Jacoba didn’t feel self-conscious about being the center of attention. Nothing could distract from this, for she just wouldn’t allow it.

A big man with silver hair still laced with black and dark piercing eyes came forward. In a crowded room she would have known who this was for it was clear who Adam favored. “You weren’t wrong, Adam. She is a beauty, and I can see why you would want to keep her to yourself.” He reached out and took her hand and kissed the back of it. “I’m Ben Cartwright, my dear. My son has spent four days telling us all about you, but I am afraid that he didn’t do you fair justice. I hope that you are going to be very happy with us.”

He didn’t seem so bad, though she did catch a kind of sharpness to his eyes. She could only imagine what it had been like when Adam had announced that he was marrying a woman that they knew nothing about. “I know that I will, Mr. Cartwright. I will be content anywhere as long as Adam is with me, sir.”

“A man can’t ask any more from his wife.” He turned to the two young men that he had been standing with and motioned them forward. “These are my other two sons.”

The big one, a sweet-faced, blue-eyed bear of a man with an innocent, unassuming manner, seemed almost embarrassed around her. His large hat clutched close to his chest, he kept looking at his feet.

“You must be Hoss.” She touched the back of his hand. “It’s all right to look at me. I won’t be offended.”

He did look at her. “Yes, ma’am.”

“It’s not ma’am, it’s Jacoba.”

“Yes, Miss Jacoba, ma’am.”

“And this is my other son, Joseph.”

Jacoba could tell in an instant that she was going to have trouble with Adam’s youngest brother. Civil but abrupt, he said little and seemed not at all pleased with the situation. She got the distinct impression that he would rather be boiled than be there. A handsome young man, not as big as his father and brothers, with soft curly, dark drown hair that she knew to be eighteen. His emerald green eyes were sharp as lances and set right on her. “Little Joe.” She held out her hand to him. “It is so nice to…”

Without giving her a chance to finish he stuck his hat back on his head and rejoined his father. And she couldn’t miss the glare that he received from the elder Cartwright.

Jacoba’s father took out his pocket watch and opened it. “We’d better get going before Reverend Thorn gets tried of waiting, and just goes on home.”

With a round of agreement the men all mounted up. Rachel would ride with her Nathan. Lucas held out his hand to his sister, and she got up behind him. She would have preferred to ride with Adam, but she knew that Papa would never allow it, but there would be plenty of time later.

The small party made their way down the wide path toward the settlement. Jacoba looked over at Adam as he sat tall and straight as he rode alongside his father. In a short while he would be the husband that she had dreamt of since a little girl. Her arms tightened around her brother, but her gaze never left Adam. For the first time, she gave complete thought to what she was about to enter into and knew in the depths of her soul that it was right.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jacoba held onto Adam and looked over at his father and brothers as the big chestnut swayed beneath her. This country indeed bred them hearty, self-reliant and free-spirited. She had noticed the change in her own father and brothers, even her mother. And those born and/or raised out here were a breed apart. She inhaled deep of the pine fragrant air and let it go to her head. By way of marriage she had just become part of a fine, strong mountain family, and no dream she had ever dreamt had been so grand.

More than once she saw the way that Little Joe looked at her, and his expression told her that he would not be an easy one to win over. She wasn’t, however, going to worry about that now and allow him to spoil this perfect time.
She leaned her chin on Adam’s shoulder and spoke soft words into his ear. “I have just been wondering how many times I must tell you that I love you.”

“On the minute would be nice, but I figure you’d tire of that fairly quickly.”

“Never, not even if I you told four times of every second of every day for the rest of my life if we both lived to be two-hundred.” She cuddled closer and put her raven head against the side of his. “Until right this moment I didn’t know that it was possible to be so ecstatically happy.” She giggled and shivered. “Ooh, I feel like I could just pop.”

“Well you mustn’t do that until you give Pa at least one grandson. I hope you’re not that rarity among women who doesn’t want children.”

“Of course, I want children, but if I never have any, as long as I have you I could never want for more.”

“I’m afraid Pa couldn’t or wouldn’t see it that way. He would throw us out of the house with strict orders not to come back.”

“That doesn’t scare me in the slightest.” She kissed the side of his neck. “I would be contented in a cave.” She did it again, only with more gusto.

“I hope that you know that that tickles.”

“Of course I do, that’s why I did it.”

“Well if you don’t stop I’m gonna get down and give you a tanning you won’t soon forget.” She didn’t catch his playful grin.

“All right, grumpy.” She smiled and rested her cheek against his back, but the smile faded when she caught sight of Joe’s scornful eyes. “I can’t imagine why Little Joe doesn’t like me when he doesn’t even know me.”

He jerked his head with an indifferent shrug. “Who knows with him. I wouldn’t worry about it though, if I were you, and if he ever gets out of sorts all you havta do is to let me know. I’ll straighten him out. With a branding iron, if I have to.”

“Maybe he doesn’t think I’m good enough for his big brother. Or maybe…”

“You’ll wear yourself to nothing if you try to figure it out. Anyway, I can think of better things to talk about than whether Joe’s in a snit or not.” He brought one of her hands up to his lips.

“Very well then, tell me how long it will be before we get to the house.”

“That isn’t what I meant.”

“I know exactly what you meant, but this is neither the time nor the place for such things.” She readjusted herself on the horse’s rump, Joe forgotten all about, at least for now. “You haven’t told me anything about where we intend to live, and I heard Hoss say something about a Hop Sing.”

He let go with a hearty laugh that she had heard only once before. “Hop Sing is a who, not a what, and he’d be mad as a boiled chicken if he heard you call him one. He’s our cook, and has been for sixteen years now. He can be a little intimidating at first, but once you get to know him,” he snickered, “he can still be a little scary.”

“I thought I would do the cooking.”

“Don’t tell him that. I don’t think he’d like the idea. Anyway, I don’t want you slaving in a hot kitchen when you can be with me.”

“You’re the master.”

“And don’t you forget it.”

Her arms clenched around him, and she nestled her head between his shoulder blades. Things got quiet, even Adam’s father and brothers had become silent. Jacoba couldn’t help but to become once again aware of the way Joe watched her: distant, hard and unyielding. Chills ran along her spine and made tiny bumps rise on her skin. She could only hope that he didn’t ruin her new life as a Cartwright.

6

The thrill of the morning had worn Jacoba out, and she had fallen asleep, her arms still wrapped around Adam. As she awoke she became conscious of being lifted down from the horse’s back. With a feeble moan, she struggled to come full awake. She looked up into the gentle blue eyes of Hoss Cartwright, and the sensation of safety rose inside her as his warm, sweet smile eased her out of sleep. Then she felt herself transferred to another’s arms.

Jacoba looked into Adam’s handsome, dark face so close that his sensuous lips almost caressed hers. “I have something to show you.” Then he turned from his brother.

She blinked to clear her vision then followed his line of sight. A quick breath rushed in through her teeth, and her eyes came wide open. It was the most spectacular house she had ever seen. Built of rough-hewn logs, it seemed to her to stretch forever. Three large trees had been left to stand in the front yard that rose in a gentle slope as silent sentries. She blinked again to make sure that her eyes weren’t playing ticks on her.

Adam nodded toward the single front window on the second floor. “That’s our room.”

“I can’t believe that you actually live in such a house.”

“Can and have for a long time. We like it just fine, and I’m sure that you will, too.”

“I don’t see how I could not. It is the grandest thing I have ever seen.

By the time they entered through the heavy oak front door, she was wide awake, and the awe she had felt outside was nothing in comparison to what awaited her on the inside. Even Joe’s muttering about her not being able to walk, and Ben’s chastisement that a man always carried his new bride over the threshold made not the slightest impression on her.

Adam put her down, and she stood as if transfixed in the middle of it all. Four different comfortable chairs – one in red leather – were gathered around a large pedestal table with a green-inlay top in front of the hearth. The room’s warm masculinity spoke of family, and whispered home into her ear. She went to the immense fireplace, and ran her hand over its rough stone face. Nothing that surrounded her could be said to be dainty, and Jacoba had no desire to change a thing.

As she returned to Adam, Ben’s booming voice called out for Hop Sing. In a few seconds, a diminutive Chinese man in his late thirties all in pale blue came out from what Jacoba guessed to be the kitchen. His obsidian eyes snapped onto her the minute he came into view. It was obvious that he was less than pleased to see her.

“Come over here and meet my son’s new wife.”

‘New wife’ came as a slap in the face to Jacoba, and it stung. It wasn’t what her father-in-law had said, but how he has said it that caused her hope that he would accept her to slip some.

Hop Sing shuffled over to them, his round face drawn into a stern scowl that he made no attempt to hide.

“So you’re Hop Sing. I’m Jacoba Mar…” She gave Adam an abashed glance, and she got a wry grin in return. “Jacoba Cartwright. I look forward to…”

“You velly pletty – you cook?”

Jacoba was somewhat taken aback by his abruptness. “Yes, I cook, but that isn’t why I’m here. I don’t think…”

“You see you don’t. I go now, have supper to fix, velly much to do.”

“All right, Hop Sing, go ahead.” After he had left, Ben turned to her. “I apologize for that, Mrs. Cartwright. Hop Sing is very touchy about his position her, and his kitchen.”

“That’s right; Miss Jacoba, very touchy, but the best dang cook this side o’ Californie.”

“He’ll get used to you,” Ben gave her a less than sincere smile, “as we all will.”

Jacoba couldn’t be so sure of that. She could see right off that this may not be so simple an accomplishment. With perhaps the exception of Hoss, everybody that Adam lived with seemed disinclined to accept her into the family, and maybe always would. But for Adam she would never stop trying.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In spite of the cool reception Jacoba had received from Adam’s family, and the little cook, supper turned out to be an enjoyable affair. The food was delicious, and she took every opportunity to praise Hop Sing. This seemed to placate him some, but he remained apathetic toward her.

Adam pulled Jacoba’s chair out as she got up from the table. Then she took her new husband’s proffered arm, and they all went into the parlor for brandy, which she dreaded, since she had never touched spirits in her life. Mama and Papa – who had definite ideas on such things – would have splayed the skin on her back if she had.

“As the newest member of the family to you goes the first glass.” Ben handed a delicate snifter to her.

It would be rude not to accept it so she thanked him and did so with some trepidation.

When everyone had a glass, Ben held his up. “I would like to raise a toast to my oldest son and his bride. May they have many long, happy years together, and may they give me many grandsons.”

Jacoba got the distinct impression that Joe didn’t care to drink to their happiness, but one stern look from his father convinced him that it was a good idea.

Her first sip caused no problem, though she didn’t care for it. She found it bitter and ill tasting, but she kept it to herself. However, the second sip went down wrong, and she began to cough with as much composure as possible. For one of the few times in her life she wished she could crawl into a deep hole. She caught sight of Hoss’ gentle face and believed that he felt compassion for her.

Adam put his glass down and came to her and placed a hand on her back. “Try to get a good breath.” He gave her a few firm pats between her shoulder blades, but it didn’t seem to help.

She tried, but the coughing showed no signs of slacking. The liquor burned and only heightened the spasms in her throat.

Ben came to stand beside his eldest. “I remember my first drink of something stronger than wine. I’m sure they heard me all the way to China.”

Jacoba managed to get a decent breath, but it only suited to aggravate matters, and brought on a wilder spate of coughing. If not for the reassurance of Adam’s hands on her back, the whole thing would have been beyond more than just being unbearable.

Then Joe began to laugh – really more of a hateful, boyish giggle. At that moment, however, Jacoba wasn’t concerned with herself, for if looks could kill Adam would have murdered his own brother.

“Joseph,” Ben Cartwright’s eyes flashed on his youngest, “that will be enough of that.”

Joe withered, and the laughter stopped, but the damage had been done. Jacoba kept her demeanor calm and unfazed as much as she could as she began to settle down. She would not give Little Joe Cartwright the pleasure to know that he had injured her. “I’m sorry, Mr. Cartwright.” Her voice was rough as she placed the snifter on the pedestal table. “Now if you will please excuse me, I have some unpacking to do. I probably won’t be back down any more until morning so I will bid all of you a very good night. You have been most gracious.” But her raven eyes turned on Joe with anything but what one could call congeniality.

“Good night, Mrs. Cartwright. Sleep well.”

She thanked Ben then – with her most elegant deportment – went upstairs.

The room she would share with Adam, like the rest of the house, was very much a man’s, from the dark reds and greens of the fabrics to the heavy oak furniture. She stepped to the large four-post bed, and rested her hands on the high footboard. She began to tremble, more from anger than anything, as her fingernails dug into the ornate, deep carved wood.

As she stood with her back to it, she took no notice of when the door opened and closed or the footfalls across the floor. Tender hands rubbed up-and-down her arms, and a miniscule whimper left her as she closed her eyes against the tears.

“Sometimes I think I could just throttle Little Joe.” Adam turned her to face him; his intense gaze illuminated with love and sympathy.

“I don’t understand why he hates me so. I have done nothing to him to warrant this. He doesn’t even know me.” Her head dropped, and a finger beneath her chin raised it. “You know that I’m not one to cry, and I’m not so easy to embarrass, but I have never been so mortified in my life. I did so want to make a good impression on your family, and I have to go and get strangled. I only succeeded in making myself look the complete fool.”

“If anybody should be embarrassed it’s Joe, and he’s the fool, not you. You know, I think Pa likes you, in spite of himself, and he’ll never admit it, at least not yet.” He snickered. “He was giving it pretty good to Joe when I came up here. And Hoss isn’t the kind to turn away from anybody.” He stroked her silky hair, and placed a light kiss on the side of her head. “You can cry, if you’d like. I won’t mind.”

She threw out her haughty chin. “I should say that I will not. It isn’t important enough for tears, and I think your brother would like nothing better than to know that he made me cry.” She grazed the backs of her fingers along his cheek. “I want to be the best wife to you that I can, and I’m not going to allow our families to come between us.”

“Nothing should be allowed to come between two people who love each other.” He took her face in his hands. “You are everything I have ever wanted and never dreamed of finding in a woman, and I will keep you selfishly to myself as much as I can.”

“I wish we could stay up here, just the two of us, and never go out into the world where others could hurt us ever, ever again.”

His warm, inviting arms wrapped around her, and held her close as he kissed away the remnants of her alleged shame. Soon the unpleasantness of the episode downstairs dissolved in the solace of his ardent embrace, and she felt nothing but the love they held for each other as her fingers explored the back of his head. She adored him with all that she had, and nothing must ever change that, no matter what it took to make sure that nothing did. He was her Adam, and it must stay like that.

7

Jacoba bounced down the stairs as if the night before had never happened. She wore the second best dress she owned, which was saying something, and her long, black hair hung down her back, tied away from her beaming face with an ebony satin ribbon. Adam met her at the bottom step and escorted her to the table. As at supper, she was seated between him and his father, who sat at the head as the patriarch should.

Ben poured coffee into her cup. “I trust that you slept well.”

She tossed Adam a discreet, yet knowing glance. “I had a wonderful night.”

Adam’s eyes darted to his plate, and concentrated on slaughtering a fried egg.

Ben’s knife sawed into his ham slice. “I hope that you like it on the Ponderosa, Mrs. Cartwright.”

“It is spectacular, what I have seen of it, and I would like very much to see even more.”

Adam took her hand and squeezed it. “Well, now, I think that can be arranged.”

She glanced at him then back to Ben. “Mr. Cartwright, I wish you would please call me Jacoba. I won’t object.”

“You’re my son’s wife, and I’m sure that he does, so forgive an old man his ways. I like how it sounds, and I just like being able to say it, Mrs. Cartwright.” Ben reached out and gave the back of her hand a sharp smack.

Jacoba’s hand tingled and was quick to turn red, but she didn’t care, for to her it felt good. “So do I, Mr. Cartwright, and I like you. I can see now where Adam gets his tenacious, independent nature, and for that I am grateful.” Then a wicked light filled her face. “And I want to thank you for sending him to the settlement when you had to go into that town.” She turned her keen black eyes to the other side of the table. “And thank you, too, Little Joe. If you hadn’t disobeyed your father, I might never have met your brother.” With an ingratiating smile, she took a coy bite.

Old Ben howled with roaring laughter.

Hoss let fly with a loud guffaw and slapped Joe on the back. “She gotcha there, little brother.”

Adam watched Joe with a smirk that would befit the fox in the hen house.

Jacoba had just proven that she could and would hold her own. She could tell by their reactions, and the vicious way Little Joe glared at her, and it gave her no small amount of satisfaction. She also knew that the young man’s animosity toward her had intensified, and she knew that she would have to keep on her guard against it. It was worth it, though, to put him in his place, even for one brief, exultant moment.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After the meal, the men went out to begin their day, all but Adam who lingered behind. He cupped that splendid face in his hands and found a niche in those captivating, deep ebony pools that he had no desire to leave. Her skin was soft as down, and felt good against his work callused hands. To hold her in his arms forever would be a lifelong goal, even though he knew life would interfere from time-to-time. His head lowered, and he could almost taste her warm, sweet lips until his father called out for him and shocked him back into the present reality. “I guess I had better go.”

“I guess so. You don’t want to keep them waiting.”

“No, I suppose I shouldn’t.” Oh, what he wouldn’t give to be able to stay with her locked in his embrace like a willing prisoner. With an abrupt jerk, he pulled her to him, to hold her like a vise.

Jacoba could feel his eyes probe her soul then her senses exploded in a kiss so passionate that it took her breath. Her mouth ached from the pressure then he released her and was gone. Her head reeled as if she had been spun like a top. What a man she had married.

Once she had reformed her wits enough she stepped to the window in the study, and pulled back the heavy red curtains. She watched as they rode away, and her heart thumped with longing. It was going to be a long day so she might as well get at something.

She spent most of the morning cleaning about the house, and made a special effort to stay well away from the kitchen. While they were alone the night before, one of the things Adam had warned her about had been to stay out of Hop Sing’s domain. The little cook didn’t tolerate strangers messing around in what he considered his own private province. She had agreed to give him time to get used to her, but from the reception she had received from him she wondered if her ever would.

The chore she had set for herself led upstairs, though there was really little she could do up here, and she was worn out. She went into her and Adam’s room, and she felt that no real harm could come from just a tiny rest. The big, overstuffed wingchair beckoned, and it would be rude not to accept the invitation so she dropped onto the plump seat. Her drowsy eyes turned to the window as she nestled down in the comfort of the nubby, dark red fabric. She let her heavy eyelids drop as she wrapped herself in her arms. How many times Adam had set in this chair addled her mind to try to count, but it didn’t matter, only that she felt closer to him here.

Sleep nibbled at the edges of her consciousness, and its gentle warmth filled her when a commotion of voices and movement downstairs jerked her free from its grasp. Her eyes opened, and it took less than a second for her brain to register that someone had come into the house. Her pulse sped up as she listened then she jerked herself from the chair and rushed out.

She stopped at the head of the stairs and looked down into the parlor. Adam hung around his brother as Hoss sat in the red wingchair. Then a cold breath rushed in through her teeth, and her mouth went dry as sand. Hoss’ right arm was covered with blood, a lot of it.

Her heart beat in her ears with mad abandon as she hurried down the stairs. “Adam.” She saw at once that Hoss had a long, deep gash than ran from his wrist about half way to his elbow. “So much blood. I trust it isn’t as bad as it appears.”

Adam wiped around the wound with his bandana. “I’m afraid it is. He laid it open on a hay rake.”

“I caught my big clumsy foot on my other big clumsy foot and fell right into it.” His eyes conveyed embarrassment as they flicked to her as she came to the chair. “But my pride’s hurt worse ‘n anything.”

Jacoba took the bandana and took over the cleaning of the wound as Adam went to the liquor cabinet.

Hoss watched her as her deft fingers made over his arm. She had to be the loveliest creature he had ever seen, and he could well understand why his brother had fallen so under her spell. From the turn of her mouth and an essence that he saw in her eyes, he suspected that a fiery nature lay beneath the surface of her beauty only waiting to be aroused. He couldn’t know what it would take to draw it out, and he almost dreaded to find out. He stifled a chuckle as he recalled how she had put his little brother in his place that morning at breakfast.

Adam filled a glass with brandy. “Here, drink this.”

Hoss downed it in one slug. Adam poured again and that went with a jolt as well. It spread through the huge body like warm molasses and dulled the sharp edge of the pain. “I wish I had a keg o’ that stuff.” He got a third refill.

Without so much as a word, Jacoba gathered her skirt and petticoats into one hand and dashed for the kitchen.

Hop Sing – busy at the stove – shot a harsh look toward her and began to quarrel in Cantonese. She knew he wasn’t happy about the intrusion, but she had more important things to concern herself with than his petulant attitude toward her. “Mr. Hoss cut his arm. I need a pan of water and some towels and bandages.”

Hop Sing went white as a ghost, and the wooden spoon slid down into the bubbling pot. “I get things chop-chop.” He scuttled about the kitchen as he gathered what she had asked for while she filled a pan from the pump. “I hope Mr. Hoss not hurt too bad.”

“I don’t think so, but it is a nasty tear.”

“I come help.”

“I appreciate the offer.” She took the collected items from him then he sat the pan of water on top of them. “I think I can handle it, tough. There’s no need to pull you from your duties, and if my understanding is correct this will only make him hungrier. Still, it’s good to know that you’re here if I should ever require your help.” She gave him her kindest smile then went out with the supplies.

Hop Sing watched her go with something of a twinkle to his obsidian eyes.

Jacoba rustled back into the parlor as Hoss took down another shot of brandy. Adam helped her to put everything on the table beside the decanter. She took one of the cloths and wet it good, then squeezed out the excess and went to Hoss.

Adam took the snifter from his brother, and his eyes followed his wife’s hands in their gentle ministrations. “You do that very well.”

“Growing up on a farm with a father and four brothers I have had a lot of practice.”

“And I know that I needn’t ask if you would do the same for me.”

Jacoba went sober, and for a second she didn’t move. “I hope I never have to.” She resumed her job.

Adam had only meant to tease a little, but the set of her face told him that she had taken it to heart. He regretted having made such a careless remark and wished he could take it back.

The cut continued to bleed, and Jacoba knew of only one way to stop it. “This is far deeper than I thought and needs to be closed.” She took a clean towel and held tight against it. “Adam, please hold this down until I get back.”

Adam took over, and she hastened upstairs to their room. She grabbed her sewing kit from the end of the dresser and rushed back down to the parlor. The brothers watched her as she took a needle from the small woven basket and threaded it then turned back to Hoss, but she hesitated.

“Go ahead, Missy, it ain’t gonna hurt no more ‘n it already does.”

Adam took the towel away and tossed it aside then looked to Jacoba and nodded.

Jacoba swallowed hard and looked into Hoss’ bright eyes. “You may want to take a firm hold on those chair arms.”

With a heavy breath, Jacoba stuck the needle through the flesh at one end of the cut and tacked it eight times as she had always been taught. She gave a tug until the thread pulled taught. A quick rush of air ran in through Hoss’ clenched teeth, but he said nothing. She didn’t look at him. Her pace was steady and methodical as she whip stitched the wound together then tacked eight more times at the other end. She glanced up at Hoss. Tiny beads of sweat dotted his face, and his knuckles had blanched as his fingers dug into the arms of the chair. Other than that, however, he showed no outward signs of pain.

“Adam, there is a small pair of scissors in the top of my basket. Please hand them to me.”

Adam fished around until he found what he was looking for and handed them to her. She snipped the thread close to Hoss’ arm then laid them and the needle on the table, got a strip of the sheeting, and began to bind his wound.

“Miss Jacoba, you’re a mighty fine gal, but then I s’pose Adam’s already told you that.”

She glanced up at Adam as she kept to her work, and their eyes met for a brief second. “Yes, but not any nicer.” She split the end of the fabric then wound it three times around then knotted it tight twice. “There, that should take care of it. It will probably be stiff for a few days. I’ll check it again tomorrow to see how it is doing.”

Hoss stood and pulled his sleeve down. “It’s a good thing Adam run acrost you before I did, Miss Jacoba, or I probably would o’ took you to my own. That is, if’n you’d o’ had me.”

“I would have had you, and would have been proud of it.”

“Then I’m right glad I saw you first.” Adam’s arm stole around her waist. “And I’ll shoot any man who tries to jump my claim.”

“All right, brother, no need to get testy.” Hoss took his hat from where he had put it on the seat of the next chair. “She’s wearin’ your brand, an’ if’n you ever have any trouble you just let ol’ Hoss know. Well, I s’pose I’d best get on back to work, an’ this time I’ll watch my own big feet around hay rakes ‘n such.” He put his hat on and tipped it to her. “Thank you, Miss Jacoba. I couldn’t ‘o done a better job myself an’ I ain’t so purty.”

“I’m only glad I was able to help, and you are more than welcome, Hoss.”

With a shy grin and a duck of his head, Hoss’ nose wrinkled, and he started out. “I’ll be out in the stable when you get done.”

“All right, this won’t take long.”

Hoss nodded with a playful grin. “I’m sure it won’t.” Then he went out with a chuckle.

After he had gone, Adam put both arms around her, and his hands clasped together at the small of her back, and he pulled her to him. “He likes you.”

“And I him.” Her arms went around his neck. “And I love his older brother. Although for the life of me I do sometimes wonder why, I mean he is hardly around, even before we were married.”

“Things do come up, but if you’d like, you can still back out. I won’t hold you to this if you’re not…”

“From what my brothers have told me, it isn’t like you to give in so easily.”

“I haven’t been this is love before.”

“Then let me show you how I feel.”

She pulled his head down and kissed him as hard as she could. His grasp strengthened to almost stifle the air in her lungs, but she didn’t care. Jacoba loved this man, and she wanted nothing more than to please him, and be near him as much as she could. He was the most important thing on the face of the Earth to her, and she would do whatever it took to make him happy.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jacoba stuck the book she had been thumbing through back into the bookcase behind her father-in-law’s substantial mahogany desk. In the two hours since Adam had gone back out, boredom had never been the problem. Her husband was gone, and there wasn’t another woman for miles, so loneliness more-or-less kept her company.

Her gaze flicked to the ceiling, and she began an aimless amble about the room. Without much thought behind it, one hand drug over the furniture as she passed it. Her thoughts tried to reach out to Adam, or to anyone really, so she wasn’t aware when she went through the dining room and wandered into the kitchen.

A pot of water boiled on the back of the heavy iron stove, and the aroma of roasting pork mingled with that of sweet potatoes. A pan filled with wild huckleberries sat on the table in the middle of the room with a rolling pin beside it. Flour, lard, loaf sugar, salt and a large bowl sat on the opposite end. “What a wonderful kitchen.” She popped a couple berries into her mouth, and it still hadn’t registered where she was.

“Thank you, Missy. I velly ploud of it.”

She spun around as Hop Sing came in through the back door with a basket of fresh shucked corn. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be in here. I really wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing. I guess the wonderful smells drew me in. I’ll leave.” She turned to go.

“You no have to go. You stay.” He sat the basket on the cabinet by the stove. “Hop Sing long about Missy. I watch you sew up Mista Hoss’ arm, and you touch like feather.” He stepped to the table and nudged the empty bowl in her direction. “I about to make hucklebelly pie, Mista Hoss favolite.” He chortled. “All Mista Hoss favolite.”

“I can believe that.”

“You make this one if you like.”

Jacoba couldn’t help it that her mouth fell agape. After the frigid welcome she had gotten from the little man, and what Adam had told her about him, this was the last thing she expected, and especially so soon.

“You mellied to Mista Adam, now part of family. Hop Sing only cook – you wife.”

“Oh, no, you’re much more than that. From what I have seen in my short time here, and all that Adam has told me, you’re the one that keeps the household running. You make the best biscuits I have ever eaten,” she lowered her voice and leaned closer to him with a sly grin, “but please don’t tell my mother that I said so.”

He pushed the empty bowl closer to her. “You can make pie.”

“I would very much like to make that pie.”

Hop Sing’s smile lit his face like a bright Chinese lantern, and hers was just as luminous. The seeds of friendship and trust had just been sewn, now time and nurturing would make them grow and blossom and bear sweet fruit.

8

“An’ she sewed me up just as nice an’ neat as you please.”

Jacoba blushed and focused her attention on the remains of her supper. She wasn’t used to having such attention lavished on her for something she had done many times before. “It was nothing any of you couldn’t have done.”

“That may be so,” Ben reached out and took her hand, “but you did it, and so willingly.”

Jacoba’s eyes met with his. “He needed me, and that I never run away from.” The corners of her mouth turned. “And certainly not from family.”

Joe’s fork made an eternal figure eight in the gravy on his plate. His eyes narrowed as he watched her, and he tried to swallow down the bitterness that rose into his throat. How much more of her hypocrisy was he going to have to put up with?

Jacoba dabbed her napkin at her mouth then laid it on the edge of her plate. “Now, if everyone is finished, I have a surprise.”

She requested permission from Ben to be excused, and he gave it. Adam pulled her chair out for her and – with a hard to contain excitement – she left the dining room with the air of a lady. It was difficult to keep her feet from running away with her, but she managed, if only just.

Hop Sing met her at the work table with the pie and handed it over to her, then, after an exchange of furtive grins, she went back out. The little cook followed her, but stopped in the doorway.

“My huckleberry pie may not be as good as Hop Sing’s, but my mother taught me so I know you can eat it.” She sat it on the end of the table.

Hoss’ eyes almost glazed as they set on the delectable pastry, its golden crust dotted with puddles of dark purple juice which had seeped from the slits cut into its top. “Huckleberry pie, umm-umm.”

She sliced the dessert across the center. One half she cut into three equal portions – since she wanted none for herself – and the other half went to Hoss. His appetite was legend in this household of men, and she had been told by Adam and Hop Sing all about it. Joe she offered the last piece after his father and brothers.

“I don’t want any.” He raised an icy green glower. “You can’t buy me off with pie.”

“Joseph, I have had enough from you. This young woman is your brother’s wife, and I expect you to treat her as such. Now you accept the pie graciously or leave the table the same way.”

“It’s all right, Mr. Cartwright. I know how brothers can be sometimes.”

Joe slammed his napkin down on the table and jerked to his feet. “I’m not your brother, and I never will be.”

Adam stood and shoved his chair back so hard that it tipped over, and moved with menace toward the kid. His threatening expression alarmed Jacoba, and she rushed to get between him and Joe.

“No, Adam, no, he’s your brother. You might hurt him.”

Black almost swamped the dark hazel of Adam’s eyes. “I might.” He tried to get past her, but she grasped his arms and stopped him.

“No, Adam, not on my account.”

Joe’s expression grew mocking as did his voice. “No, Adam. No, Adam.” He huffed. “It’s all on her account, and you’re too blind to see how she trapped you. She doesn’t belong here.”

Adam broke away from Jacoba and backhanded Joe. For such a large man, Hoss was up in a wink and grabbed his younger brother as he was about to throw a punch.

“Lemme go, Hoss, I’m gonna bust ‘im!”

“No, you ain’t, Little Joe, you asked for that.”

“Stop this right now!” Ben was already on his feet. “I won’t have it. Now, Joseph, you apologize.”

Joe crossed his arms over his chest, and was steadfast in his refusal to kowtow to this interloper.

All the sudden Jacoba felt caught in a steel vise that threatened to squeeze her to death. With a quick look at the sea of angry faces that surrounded her, without as much as a whimper, she ran from the house. Adam called after her, but she didn’t seem to hear.

Hop Sing ducked back into the kitchen, and took his black scowl with him.

The cool night brushed against her face like a wispy feather. Eerie pale gray light from the full moon cast shadows that would have frightened a child, but Jacoba didn’t even notice them in her headlong flight to escape. She didn’t hear her name being shouted after her, she just kept running. Before she got much farther, however, someone grabbed her from behind and spun her around.

The shadows gentled Adam’s stormy features as he looked down at her. “Whoa, I don’t know where you could be going in the dark.”

“It doesn’t matter just so it’s out of there.”

“But I don’t understand why you ran. It’s not like you not to stand up to him.”

“I don’t know myself. Maybe it’s because he’s your brother or I felt trapped or I, I just don’t know. I only know for sure that I had to get out of there.”

He reached out and touched her cheek with his fingertips. “You aren’t crying.”

“I’m too angry to cry.” With a dejected sigh, she put her head against his chest. She felt the comfort of his arms around her, and let herself sink into the refuge they afforded. “I am still as a loss as to what I could have possibly done that he should bear such enmity toward me.”

“Who knows with Joe. It could be any number of things. It could be that he sees you as a trespasser and, worse, a Yankee, like I happen to be.”

She pulled back and looked at him, but she couldn’t tell if he was serious or not. “That is utterly ridiculous. Maybe against me I can fathom it, but you’re his brother.”

“His mother was French Creole from New Orleans, something he’s always been very proud of. But mine was the daughter of a Massachusetts sea captain, and I was born in Boston. On the other hand, Hoss’ mother was Swedish, and he was born on the trail out here so – in Joe’s book – he’s all right.”

“I see, I don’t understand, but I see.” A stunted snicker left her. “I think.”

“Don’t worry about it. I learned a long time ago that you’ve got to take Little Joe as he comes at you and not try to figure him out. It’s not worth staying awake at night.” Then a faraway look entered his eyes. With his usual abruptness, he released her then gripped her hand and began to pull her after him.

She had trouble keeping up with his long-legged, determined stride. “We’re going the wrong way.”

“No, we aren’t.”

She grabbed her skirt and petticoats in her free hand and hiked them before they twined about her legs and caused her to fall. “Adam Cartwright, slow down.” She glanced back toward the house. “You could tell me where we’re going.”

“I remember that you like surprises, so just you never mind, you’ll see.”

He turned loose of her hand once they entered the stable. Jacoba massaged the circulation back into her fingers and watched as he lit a lantern. He hung it from a nail then brought out Sport and began to saddle the big chestnut.

“It would be nice if you told me what you’re up to. It’ll soon be bedtime and not the time from any self-respecting woman to be out with a madman, even if he turns out to be her husband. At least, that’s what Mama would say.” Her eyes never left him as he continued with his task as if she wasn’t even there. “Adam, I want to know what you are doing.”

He gave the cinch a good, firm tug. “I’m saddling my horse.”

“You know what I mean.”

He led Sport outside as Jacoba put out the lantern then followed him, though she wasn’t quite sure why. He sprung onto his horse’s back then extended his hand down to her. She eyed it with dubious suspicion then her gaze rose to that handsome face. This was one of those times when he made her feel almost wicked, but not enough. She took his arm and, with a yank, she swung up behind him.

He reached back and brought her arms around him. “I wouldn’t want to lose you now.”

She scooted closer to him and tightened her hold. “Don’t worry, you won’t.”

Adam gave the horse a kick, and they galloped off into the moon-painted night, and Jacoba’s long hair flowed in the wind like Sport’s mane and tail.

They followed the road and didn’t slow down until they were well away from the house. Now, at this less frenetic pace, they left the beaten path.

Jacoba settled with her chin on his shoulder, the side of her face against his neck. “I hope you’re going to be able to find our way back. It all looks so different in the dark, especially in the moonlight.”

“This isn’t the first time I’ve been out like this, and I know every inch of the Ponderosa like I know my own name. I can get us back, and Sport knows the way as well as I do, maybe better.” He patted the animal’s neck. “We’ll be all right.” He gave the back of her hand a reassuring pat.

After the day she had had Jacoba knew she should be tired and sleepy, but she wasn’t. The night, the two of them on the big horse, and the moonlight was heady stuff, and she wasn’t the slightest bit drowsy. She put her ear against his back so that she could hear the beating of his powerful heart, and it stirred her own.

“I don’t think Little Joe will ever accept me.”

“You can never tell about Joe, one way or the other, but it doesn’t matter because we don’t havta stay here.”

She sat up straighter. “Oh, Adam, you wouldn’t leave your home because of this.”

“My home is with you, and wherever you are is where my home will be.” He brought up one of her hands and kissed the inside of her wrist then held it against his chest. “Joe didn’t marry you, I did, and he’s gonna havta learn that where you’re not welcome, I’m not either. Now enough about him. Let’s just enjoy the night and each other.” Then he went silent as death for several seconds. “Because one never knows when it’ll all end out here.”

An involuntary shiver ran through her, and she knew he sensed it for his hold squeezed on her hand. She nestled closer and said an unspoken prayer for his safety.

Sport ambled on and Jacoba couldn’t be sure how long they had been riding when Adam reined in near an immense oak that stood out alone from any others. He slid to the ground and lifted her down then tethered the horse to a piece of scrub so that he could crop grass. She didn’t say anything as he led her under the tree. She was content just to be with him and needed no explanation.

He moved around behind her, and enclosed her in his arms. “There’s nothing that matches the Ponderosa by the light of a full moon.” For a moment the only sounds were the night insects, a whippoorwill, and the faint whisper of their own breathing. “Except you.” He held her closer. “We’re going to be happy here.”

She leaned her head back against him. “If Little Joe will let us.”

“I don’t even want to think about him. This is about us and all that as far as the eye can see.”

Jacoba felt safe and protected in the shelter of him. She held onto his strong arms and felt as if nothing could ever harm her as long as he was with her. As she gazed out into the all encompassing night, she realized that he had become very still and very quite. She was just about to say something when he turned her to him. The silvery light filtered through the tree’s leaves like a mist, and she couldn’t make out his expression, but the man before her blotted out everything else.

He took her face in his hands with a touch so gentle that it took her breath. “I love you Jacoba Ruth Martell Cartwright, and when I die I want it to be in your arms.”

She started to speak, but his lips killed the words, and his arms surrounded her again. Her hand went to the back of his head, and her fingers ruffled the heavy black hair as she sank into the euphoria that filled every corner of her. The night moved around them, and the horse grazed nearby, but they weren’t aware of anything save each other.

The moon crept across the cobalt sky as if in no particular hurry to reach its destination and a lone coyote howled a mournful serenade to it. Some of the more prudent insects called it a night, but others continued their song as the stars shimmered overhead. Adam held her in front of him as they sat on the ground, and he leaned back against the thick, rough trunk of the oak, and let the cool night absorb them. Their hearts would do the talking.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jacoba supposed that it had been around two hours when they rounded back in. He helped her down then dismounted, and they directed their attention toward the house, where light still burned. She followed him as he led Sport into the stable, and this time she lit the lantern. As he unsaddled his horse she took a perch on the grain bin from where she could watch him. Neither said a word, as if they didn’t want the sound of their voices to shatter the magical spell of this time.

“It’s about time!” They hadn’t noticed Ben come in. “I was about to send a search party out looking for you!”

Adam acted as if he hadn’t heard a word as he continued to rub Sport’s shiny coat dry with a towel.

“I demand to know where you went, boy!”

“Just for a little ride, Pa. A night like this can’t be passed by.”

“It most certainly can.” Ben began to stalk back-and-forth with his hands clasped behind his back. “I have been having all kind of ideas about what could have happened to you. Lying in a ditch with your neck broken, or rode you horse off a cliff in the dark.” He spun around and flung his arms up into the air out of sheer frustration. “And any number of other things just as bad!”

“It’s not that dark, Pa.”

“Don’t backtalk me, boy!” Then Ben whirled on Jacoba as fire darted in his ebony eyes. “And you. I can’t imagine how you’re going to give me grandsons if you get yourself killed traipsing off in the dead of night with this wild one. Come over here to me, girl.”

Angelica gave Adam a wary glance, and he returned a jerky nod toward his father. She slid from the bin and walked over to her father-in-law, but kept her distance. While he didn’t altogether scare her, he did leave her a trifle apprehensive every now and again.

“Come closer, girl.”

With the measured steps of caution, she did as he commanded.

“You’re the first one, the first mistress of the Ponderosa, and I expect many grandsons from you and this one.” His eyes flicked to Adam with tempered menace then he took hold of her shoulders and turned her square to him. “So promise me that you won’t do anything so foolish again, daughter.”

“I promise, Mr. Cartwright.”

Old Ben gave her a grin that could have melted ice. “And if you’re going to live under my roof you’d better start calling me Pa.”

That was final. Jacoba had just been accepted by this strong, fierce man whose authority was law and not to be questioned on the Ponderosa, and it sent a sense of well-being through her. “All right…, Pa.”

Adam extinguished the lantern, and they went out then he closed the doors and dropped the bar into place. Ben got between them and put his arms around his children’s shoulders, and he beamed as only a proud father could. They started up the slight rise that led back to the house. Now, in spite of Joe, and his passionate hatred for her, she felt that this was indeed her home, and she would do what needed to be done to keep it that way. Maybe she would never find out why he felt so, and maybe one or both of them would be sorry if she ever did, but for now she just didn’t care. She was a Cartwright.

9

Adam had left with his father and brothers and a couple hands the previous morning to bring some cattle from higher up down to winter pasture. Jacoba didn’t know much about a cattle drive, but from what she had been told when in all innocence she had inquired, they were hazardous affairs. And she also knew that every second with him out there would be pure torment for her. Until she had come to live here her comprehension of what it took to keep this vast spread – as Adam had called it – running smooth had been very much lacking, but she was learning. And aspects of it, such as the inherent dangers of the matter, gave her no end of consternation. She endeavored to keep herself busy, and her mind occupied, but so far it hadn’t worked that well.

Hop Sing could see that she was miserable. The first day hadn’t been so bad, though he figured a lot of it was show for him, but after the night she had grown quite, and floated about the house like a spectral apparition from room to room. He guessed it had more to do with worry than just Mista Adam’s not being there, and he wished he could so something for her. She was, however, mistress of the house now, and he a simple servant. His hands worked the pliable bread dough with furor as he recalled how he had welcomed her. He regretted his terseness, but she didn’t seem to hold it against him.

It had only been four days since her arrival, and he would have been a blind man not to see how good she was for Mista Adam. Even Mista Hoss and Honorable Father liked her, and held her as family, but not Mista Joe. He worked with more ferocity. Him Hop Sing would like to take a broom to.

Jacoba had no idea what time it was when she wandered into the kitchen, lured by the smell of stew that made her realize how hungry she was. Since yesterday she had picked like a bird, and her stomach reminded her of that fact. Hop Sing stood at the table, his hands half buried in a soft brown glob. “I could do that for you.”

His head snapped up. “No, Missy, you not here to cook, that Hop Sing’s job.”

“I made the pie.”

“That diffilent.”

“I don’t see how, and I really would like to help.” She raised the lid and looked into the simmering pot. Its delectable aroma wafted into her face and augmented her already rampant hunger. “I do like to cook.”

He watched her with shrewd eyes. “And it good to help Missy to not miss Mista Adam so much.”

She replaced the lid and turned to him with a worn smile. “I had hoped it wasn’t so easy to see.”

“Missy like dove in cage with mate on outside; all time flutter, all time unhappy. If it help you not miss Mista Adam then you help, but first you eat.” He wiped his hands on his apron then went to the breakfront for a bowl and spoon. He ladled it to brimming with the fragrant sage-laced pork stew and handed it to her. He then got a glass and filled it from the pump at the sink. “To wash food down.”

She thanked him and went with it into the dining room and sat at the table. It didn’t seem so large when Adam and the family were there, but now it reminded her of the road that ran through the settlement – long and empty.

The first spoonful of Hop Sing’s delicious stew led to another and another and another until – in defiance of her melancholia – she had emptied the bowl. It filled a niche in her stomach and took the edge from her hunger. She took down the last swallow of water then gathered everything up and started back to the kitchen.

Hop Sing watched as she returned and washed up her dinner things and set them aside to dry.

She rubbed her hands together. “The bread looks like it’s ready for the pans. Six should be enough.”

“They in pantry,” he gestured toward the back off to the left of the rear door, “on second shelf on back wall.”

She darted off, and the moment she entered the shelf-lined room she gasped. This wasn’t the only pantry she had ever been in, but it was without doubt the nicest. There was loaf sugar, bags of salt, rice and tea, tins of crackers and sardines, the latter made her nose wrinkle, canned goods of every description, lard, cooking utensils, baking pans of many varieties, slabs of bacon hung from rafters, bottles of cooking wine, honey and molasses. This was only a part of it and it boggled the mind.

It took some effort to subdue her awe, but once she had she made her search. The blackened bread pans – in three stacks of four – were right where Hop Sing had told her they would be. She counted out as many as she needed then returned to the kitchen with them.

She deposited her small load on the work table. “There, they were right where you said they would be.” She began to separate the dough into loaves then tuck them into their individual pans. “I have never been in such a well-stocked pantry as that. It’s almost like being in a mercantile store.”

“It take lot to keep family fed, especially Mista Hoss.”

“This is no surprise. He ate every bit of my pie in one sitting, since no one else wanted any.” She put the last loaf into its pan, and tried to wipe that part of that night away. “All finished. We only have to let them rise then bake and we have fresh bread.” She covered them with the clothes that had been laid out then took them, one-by-one, to the breakfront where they would be nearest the warmth of the stove, careful not to get them too close. “Now I’m sure there is plenty more I can do, so if you’ll just point me in the right direction.”

“If Missy sure. Hop Sing not want you work hard. Mista Adam…”

“A little hard work never did anyone any harm, and what Mr. Adam doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

He turned back to his cooking, and his voice lowered. “Not hurt Hop Sing.”

She wanted to laugh, but thought better of it, yet inside she giggled. “You realize, of course, that I know very little about you other than you come from China.”

“Missy tell Hop Sing what she like to know.”

“About your family would be good to start with.”

“Have many cousins in San Flancisco, and three sisters. Mother die when I boy, but honorable father live in Virginia City. Not get to see him much. Mista Cartlight say I go whenever want to, but job here keep velly busy. Cannot all time go.”

Jacoba pushed a loose strand of hair back from her face. “There’s no reason you can’t now. I’ll do the cooking while you’re gone, and I think I can handle it until you get back.”

“No, Missy, you not…”

“I insist. And if you’re worried about your job, don’t be. I’ll make sure that you have it for as long as you want it, and besides, I don’t think Mr. Adam would like it if I took to cooking full time.”

“Hop Sing not understand why you do this after way he be to you when you come to Ponderlosa.”

“You were only protecting what is yours, and I can’t say that I wouldn’t do the same in your place.”

“Thank you, Missy.” A flush of shame came over him, and he lowered his head. “Hop Sing and Mista Joe make big mistake,” then he looked straight at her. “You belong on Ponderlosa. You plenty good for Mista Adam, and now old man all time talk about glandsons since you come.”

As she finished clearing the table, she was careful not to look at him.

Hop Sing couldn’t help notice the red that ran from her cheeks to her hairline and didn’t push the issue. Missy had her pride, and he would honor it. He held her in too high esteem to want to cause her any further distress. “Now you finish you go lest, put feet up, lead book. Hop Sing let you know when bled come out of oven.”

She guessed that he had seen her embarrassment, and had decided to change the subject with tact. “Yes, I think I could use a little time to myself.”

His gaze stayed on her as she wafted out like a water sprite. The first born had made a wise choice. He returned to his work.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It had been another long, tiresome day, and Jacoba’s longing for Adam had only made it longer. So, after two thick slices of soft, warm bread slathered with copious amounts of elderberry jam, a cup of Hop Sing’s fine tea, and another bowl of stew it hadn’t taken much prodding – something Hop Sing proved to be very adept at – to encourage her to turn in early.

It had been another one of those enjoyable times she had spent since coming to the big, rough hewn log house, to become one of her treasures to be locked away in her memory box. As she had sipped and ate, the little cook had filled her in on the likes, dislikes and foibles of Adam and his father and brothers. That is, until he had seen that she couldn’t hold her eyes open and shooed her out.

Jacoba closed the bedroom door and stretched her arms over her head then rubbed at the stiffness in her lower back. Enough of the early evening light came in through the window so that she could see to get undressed. A lamp wouldn’t be necessary for some time yet, so she decided to dispense with it. She sat in the chair and undid and removed her high-topped shoes then rolled off her stockings. She wiggled her toes and pushed her sweaty feet down against the cool plank floor. After being locked up in those hot, leather prisons all day it felt good to let them breathe.

Next she went about peeling out of her clothes down to her barest underpinnings. It took longer than usual, but she was so exhausted. At twenty-four, she knew she shouldn’t be for as little as she had done and as much as she was used to doing, but she believed that missing Adam played no small part in it. Her eyes rose. She wasn’t in any real fast hurry to once again get into that big, lonely bed worn-out as she happened to be.

She finished getting undressed then draped everything over the back of the chair and padded, nude, to the dresser and took out one of her three gowns from the top drawer and slipped it over her head. As she buttoned it she couldn’t help but wonder where her Adam was, if he was sleeping warm and had had enough hot food to eat.

Her back received one more good massage then she clambered into bed. She turned onto her back and stared at the ceiling as she said a silent prayer for him and those with him then faced his side of the bed. Her hand brushed light across his pillow, and it made her fingertips ache. All at once she clutched it to her. The sent of his Bay Rum clung to it to only make her hurt more. She had refrained from such theatrics last night, and she wished she had now as well. It only augmented the pain of separation that dwelled within her, and she wondered if – despite her weariness – she could sleep.

With a whimper, she buried her face in his pillow and let the familiar smell attempt to comfort. Then her soft, muffled sobs rose into the quiet of the room as she gave in to her aloneness.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jacoba had no idea when she had drifted off or how long she had been asleep when a deafening explosion woke her. She sat straight up with a jerk, his pillow clasped to her heaving bosom. In a near blinding flash the room came alight, followed by another blast that shook the night.

As the storm’s fury assailed the house, she bounded from the bed and rushed to the window. Rain fell in great sheets to the point that she could just make out the faint outline of the stable as lightning lit everything like huge bursts of flame. Trees writhed and twisted, and more thunder crashed like a barrage of cannon fire.

Her heart thudded like the hooves of a horse in terrified flight. The thought of Adam in the teeth of such a tempest brought to life the kind of fear that threatened to stifle one’s breathing. Yes, his father and brothers and two of the hands – men she didn’t even know – were with him, but they were as much in peril as he was.

In all haste, she jerked her long shawl from the footboard and wrapped it around her shoulders then hurried out into the hall. Her bare feet thumped the floor as she padded toward the stairs. She had just started down as Hop Sing was on his way up with a lamp.

“I see it wake Missy, too.”

“No one could sleep through this without being dead.” Her own remark made her cringe. “It wasn’t necessary for you to check on me.”

“Mista Adam tell Hop Sing to watch after Missy while away. He say make sure you safe and not aflaid. You want something you just ask Hop Sing.”

She jumped as a report rattled the windows. “I could use a cup of your good, hot tea with lots of spice. I couldn’t go back to sleep with that howling around out there.”

“And you know that Mista Adam out in it.”

“And Pa, Hoss and Little Joe.”

Hop Sing led the way as they started down. “Not understand why you wolly about Little Joe. He not like Missy.”
He held the lamp high as they wove their way around the furniture as they headed to the kitchen.

“I suppose I like to believe that someday he’ll change his mind about me. Maybe if I knew why he dislikes me so I could do something about it, but in not knowing, my hands are more or less tied. Still, there’s always hope, and as long as I have Adam I’ll manage.”

Now, more than ever, Hop Sing wanted to take a broom to Little Joe. He was the cause of anguish for this young woman, and yet she worried about his safety. And her love for Mista Adam was as boundless and deep as the sea. No, one broom would not be enough – this would require two at the very least.

As they entered the kitchen, Hop Sing sat the lamp on the table. He then went back out and when he returned he had the kettle that always hung in the big fireplace in the parlor. “Always have plenty of hot water.”

“Well at least you won’t have to build a fire in the stove.” She pulled the shawl tighter around her and sat down. Her eyes followed him as he went about his task with the occasional flick to the ceiling.

The weather seemed to grow viler by the second, and she wished she could banish it to some other place far away. But she couldn’t so she tried to ignore it, but that didn’t work either.

“I don’t suppose you have ever been on a cattle drive.”

He spooned tea into a clean cup. “Oh, yes, Missy, many times. I cook for men.”

“I hear that they can be dangerous. I mean, that a man can get hurt or killed.”

Hop Sing felt like he had been stabbed with an icicle as he stopped then turned to her. She made him think of a forlorn, frightened, lost little girl with her arms enclosed around her as if to protect herself from something. “I sure Mista Adam alleady tell Missy about it.”

“Yes, he has, but not in any great detail, and that’s why I ask you because my husband is out on a night like this, and I want to know what the chances are that…” but the words evaporated.

“Missy not talk that way. Mista Adam be all light, you wait and see. It not like he not go on cattle drive before. He know what to do and father and brothers and hands with him. So you not wolly.” He turned back to the breakfront, and his cheerfulness faded. He had seen storms like this come up on a drive before, and he had seen what they could bring about. He wasn’t, however, about to enlighten her to the grim facts.

Jacoba couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so helpless and useless. She cast her eyes onto the table top with the ardent wish for this night to soon end, and this hideous storm with it.

So lost in her own thoughts, she didn’t take note when the cup was thumped down before here.

“Here Missy’s tea. You drink light up, maybe make you want to go back to sleep.”

Her focus stayed on the steam that rose from the dark golden liquid. “No, I could never do that.” She gathered the cup into both hands and took a sip as the bracing scents of nutmeg and cinnamon filled her nose. “Umm, good.” On a heavy breath she looked at him. “I think I’ll take it into the parlor and sit before the hearth.”

“I poke up fire.”

“No, that won’t be necessary.” With one hand she managed to keep the shawl around her in a discreet manner and stood. “Now you go on back to bed, I’ll be just fine.”

“Only if Missy absolutely sure.”

“I absolutely am, so you go on.”

With hesitation he started toward his room.

“Thank you, Hop Sing, and I don’t mean just for the tea.”

“Hop Sing always happy to do for such fine lady.”

They wished each other a goodnight then he went into his room, and the door closed with a quiet hush. She stood there for several seconds, and let the shawl hang loose on her arms. Then she picked up the lamp and went out.

Any thought of trying to read was as fleeting as going back to bed. Both could only prove futile so she wouldn’t waste her time. She put the lamp down on the small, square table that sat on the hearthstone then eased into the overstuffed red leather chair she had seen her father-in-law sit in so many times.

The banked fire radiated warmth that kissed her chilled feet as the storm continued to lash, and the wind flailed at the walls as if in an attempt to get at her. She tucked her legs under her and pulled the shawl closer. The chair held only marginal appeal for snuggling, but she just couldn’t make herself go back to that cold bed in that barren room – not with him out in this.

She let her head drop. “Stay safe, my love.”

10

By the time dawn broke the storm had run its course to leave everything clean and fresh and new. Rays of yellow, like shafts of liquid butter, cut through the slate gray sky to dispel some of the gloom. Trees had been brought down. Branches and limbs were scattered over the landscape, and puddles stood, some deep enough to swamp a man’s feet past the ankles.

Regardless of herself and the thunderstorm, Jacoba had fallen back to sleep in the chair, and now she had to hurry upstairs before Hop Sing caught her. As she ran for the staircase she got a glimpse of the cup on the pedestal table where she had left it. Once nestled in the big chair her desire for it had waned, and she had taken no more than two or three more sips before she cast it aside.

The balls of her feet patted over the treads as she ran up the steps, and allowed the shawl to drag behind her. Adam had told her that the drive would most like as not take three days, though he had held out no promises of this, so he could be home today. Since driving cattle wasn’t a sure thing, it could take longer than expected – that being one of the few sure things about it. And with the ferociousness of last night’s weather, she was afraid to hope, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t or wouldn’t.

Hop Sing stuck his head out of the kitchen – a bowl of sliced apples in his hands – just in time the catch sight of a bare foot and a hank of fringe as they disappeared down the hall. It made him smile. Now he could start Missy’s breakfast.

By the time she came back down – clothed and freshened and ready to face the day – she was so pent up that she couldn’t stay put long enough to eat much. A couple sausage cakes, some of the fried apples and half a glass of milk, and she flitted away like a hummingbird.

All morning she was in a dither. The knowledge that Adam maybe would be home this very day kept her agitated, and always at something. The house had to be just so, and nothing pleased her. What had been fine the day before wasn’t right today.

For Hop Sing her frenetic energy was a joy to behold, and every chance he got he would slip out to try to catch what she was up to without her knowledge. So far he had been successful. Once he caught her as she straightened the chairs at the dining table just so. Another time she was dusting the furniture, which she had done earlier that morning as well as the day before. He smiled at the thought as he stirred a pot of cooking peaches on the stove and glanced toward the doorway. Maybe another peak was in order. With spoon in hand, he went to the end of the dining room, and he had to cap his hand over his mouth so he wouldn’t laugh out loud. She was in the process of rearranging the decanters in the liquor cabinet according to height and into a straight line behind one another. With silent alacrity, he backed out and returned to the kitchen so she wouldn’t hear him.

The midday meal had been a hasty episode to get through as quick as possible, and before she knew it dinner came. She placed another volume back into the bookcase in the study.

“It time for Missy to eat.”

She flicked him a glance as she took out another book. “All right, just let my do this one.”

“Mr. Cartlight’s books not need to be straightened.”

She made a space and slid the book in between two others. “I thought it would be easier to find a book if they were all alphabetized.”

Hop Sing’s teeth clamped down on his lower lip. “You come now. Mista Adam be velly unhappy with Hop Sing if he let Missy get sick because she not eat.”

“You’re right. I suppose these can wait a little bit.” She snickered. “I mean, it isn’t like they’re going anywhere.”

She brushed her hands over the book she had just placed then followed after him.

Hop Sing sat at one side of the kitchen table with a bowl and a knife. Jacoba, across from him with a chicken sandwich and a glass of milk, watched as he cut up parsnips, carrots and onions.

She took a bite then washed it down. “I hope they make it home today.” She took another bite.

He looked through his eyebrows at her, and his hands continued to work. “You not fool Hop Sing. It Mista Adam you hope get home today.”

Her doe-like eyes met with his then she turned her attention back to her food.

As soon as she had finished she wandered outside. Brown water stood in pools, some larger than others, and just about everywhere she looked bore some sort of evidence of the storm. The tail of her skirt soaked up moisture from the ground and drug in the mud, and her shoes caked with it. She got as far as where the yard began its downward slope then came to an abrupt stop as if she had taken root. Her eyes traced along the road to where it vanished into the distance. When he came it would be from there.

But seconds became minutes which turned into hours and still no Adam. The sun hovered just above the horizon, and the dark blanket of nightfall had begun to cover Jacoba’s part of the world. And as it did, disappointment and dejection welled inside her. It looked as if he wouldn’t be home tonight after all. The thought of spending another night in that cavernous house without him was pure misery, but there wasn’t a thing she could do about it. His pillow – poor substitute that it was – would have to fill the void for another night.

Hop Sing came out the front door and stopped. She didn’t even appear to hear him, and her eyes never left the road.

He hated to see her expectations and hopes so unkindly dashed. All day long she had been elated at the prospect that Mista Adam could be home, but now it looked as if it wasn’t to be. It hurt him to see such sadness in her lovely face, and he wished it were in his power to do something. “Mista Adam not come home today.”

“He’ll be here, he said he would be.” Her shoulders slumped, and her head sagged. “No, he said he would try.”

“Food all get cold. You come in, and I heat up. You eat.”

She shook her head. “I can’t. I have to wait for him. I have to be here when he rides in.”

“Please, Missy, it getting dark. Mista Adam not come tonight, so you come in and eat. Then I make nice cup of tea, and you drink in front of fireplace.”

Jacoba’s head told her he was right, but her heart said no – wait. After several minutes struggle her head won out. Her eyes dropped away from their vantage point. “You’re right. It is getting late.” A soft sigh wracked her slim body. “They’re not coming tonight.”

With a last look of intense longing to where she knew she wouldn’t see him, she turned and started back inside with Hop Sing.

Just as they were about to reach the door the pound of hooves made Jacoba whirl. Four riders moved along the road with one way out in front and riding hard. Her eyes strained through the dusky light, and her pulse quickened. Did she dare hope? She stepped farther down into the yard, and her hands clutched together in front of her. Among the horses was a wiry, little black-and-white paint and a big buckskin, but the one out front, the one that most caught her attention, was a tall, sleek chestnut with three prominent white stockings.

Her breathing now came so fast that it burned. As they drew closer she couldn’t stay still, and her feet pranced in place beneath her petticoats. Once, her heart almost stopped, and a gasp left her, and her fingers knotted together when the red horse slipped in the wet earth. She didn’t notice Hop Sing come to stand beside her.

Mud-spattered, Adam reined in just past the stable and bolted from the saddle as Sport skidded to a stop, and his long tail dragged the soaked ground. Adam jerked his hat off and ran to meet her as she rushed toward him. Her bright face reminded him of the cherubs on his mother’s music box. His heart throbbed with the anticipation of feeling her against him, and his long legs couldn’t move fast enough.

They threw their arms about one another, and he swung her around as she laughed like a high spirited child. Then he stood her down, wrapped himself around her, and kissed her like he hadn’t seen her for a year.

He looked deep into those enticing raven eyes that haunted his dreams and pervaded his every waking minute. “I told you I’d get back today if I could.”

“And very nearly killed yourself in the doing, if this was any indication.” She rubbed a thumb at the dried mud on his right cheek. “Oh, how I have missed you.”

“I’ve missed you so much that I ate little and slept less. The only thing that kept me going was in just knowing that you’d be waiting for me when I got back.” His hold tensed around her. “Something like you is well worth the wait, but I’m only human, and I can’t wait too long.” He looked to Hop Sing. “I hope she was good while I was gone.”

“Velly good, Mista Adam.”

Adam kissed her again as his family came up behind him, but he was too immersed in her to even notice.

Jacoba, likewise, had been so swallowed up by him that she wasn’t aware either. She wasn’t trying to be rude, but for now Adam was all that existed in her world. All she could see were those eyes, that mouth, the shock of black hair that fell over his forehead, and nothing else. Then she felt his arm around her waist, and they started inside, Hop Sing close behind them. She thought she heard Ben tell Joe to take care of his brother’s horse, but it was of small consequence so she gave it no serious attention as she leaned her head on Adam’s shoulder. He was home, and nothing else mattered.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A late supper was most pleasurable for Jacoba. The men had washed up though they had stayed in their trail clothes. Hop Sing had warmed the fare that he had tried to coerce her into eating before the family’s return. And now she watched every fork and spoonful they took, most of all Adam, while her own sat to grow cold again. She would take a bite now and again, but she didn’t even taste it.

“It weren’t much as cattle drives go,” Hoss gave his father a sly glance, “except for when a snake spooked Pa’s horse, an’ that gully washer of a storm last night.”

Jacoba hung on every word as they went about their rehashing of it. She was grateful that she hadn’t known then what they were enduring. Things such as sleeping in downpours or confrontations with rattle snakes, angry bulls, hungry coyotes, near stampedes and any other number of things all guaranteed to chill a woman’s blood.

Ben reached out and grasped her hand. “Now, daughter, it’s your turn. I want to know all about your days.”

Joe went all of the sudden ill, and the little bit left on his plate lost its allure. He took a slug of his wine to wash the bitter taste from his mouth.

“They were just days, though nothing at all like yours. I helped Hop Sing with the cooking and baking, and I even offered to take over his duties in the kitchen so that he could visit his father more.”

“No, you won’t.”

Jacoba’s eyes flashed on Adam as a ball of heat grew at the base of her head. “And please tell me what you mean by that.”

Amber sparks glittered in the dark hazel. “Just that. I didn’t marry you so that she could come into this house just to be a servant.”

Ben tried to intercede, but they didn’t hear him.

“That does not make me a servant. I like to cook, and I like Hop Sing. I’d think you would…”

“That’s just it, you didn’t think. I told you that I didn’t want you in the kitchen.”

His calm, even, self-assured voice flew over her like boiling water as her hands clenched into tight wads. “But you didn’t ask what I wanted, and I hate it when people do that to me, even you.”

Joe couldn’t help how he felt, and it made him glad that this was coming out now. Maybe now his pigheaded, Yankee brother would see her for what she really was. And maybe he would make her leave.

Jacoba stood with a jerk, and threw her napkin down in front of her. “I don’t understand why this table must always become a battlefield.” She caught Joe’s expression. “And don’t look so satisfied!” Then she reeled and flounced toward the stairs.

Adam called after her, but she paid him no mind and kept going. He bounded up from the table and caught her just as she placed her hand on the newel post. He grabbed her arm and yanked her around. “You should’ve talked to me about it first.”

The fire that Hoss had suspected lay dormant beneath the surface now rose in her eyes. “I didn’t think marrying you meant that I had to get your permission for everything I want to do.”

Now Adam’s own brand of fire came to the forefront. “You’re my wife, and it won’t hurt you to remember that.”

“Your wife – not your horse, not your saddle, not your rifle. I’m not property!” Then she shoved him back and trounced up the stairs.

Again he followed her and caught her on the top step. She glared down at his hand, and anger overrode fear as his fingers dug into her arm.

“You have never hurt me before, but you are now, so let me go.”

He only glowered at her and pulled her to him. “We’re gonna talk about this.”

His attitude and a glimpse of Joe only suited to infuriate her more. “Not here and not now, so let me go.”

She pried his fingers loose and slapped away his hand. As she did his foot slipped, and he toppled back against the railing before she could even reach out to him. She watched in horror as he fell – as if in slow motion – then settled onto the landing on his back with an awful thud, his head only inches from the banister.

“Adam!” She almost flew down the stairs after him and dropped onto her knees at his side.

Ben, Joe and Hoss were up from the table before he even settled.

“Adam.” She pushed the wisp of hair back from his forehead. “Adam.” He lay so still, and her hand trembled as she touched his face. “I didn’t mean it, oh Dear Father in Heaven, I didn’t mean it.”

Ben crouched by his son, and his heart seemed to try to beat through his ribcage as a father’s worse nightmare lay before him. What had started out as a stupid quarrel over a mere trifle had turned ugly all too fast. He didn’t blame Jacoba for this – after all, it takes two to fight. He could recall some bitter ones he had had with the mothers of his boys, and for that reason he hadn’t intervened in this. But Adam could be bad hurt, it was tearing Jacoba to pieces, and he wished he had. “Adam, son.”

“I’m sorry, Adam.” Her voice quivered, and tears laced her words. “I am so sorry.” She caressed his cheek.

“Sorry don’t do it, lady.”

Ben shot a harsh glance back at his youngest. “Joseph.”

But Jacoba heard none of it. “Please, please, my love, please be all right.”

Adam’s nose wrinkled and one dark eye opened and met with hers.

A cold stab ran through Jacoba. “You… You… You did that deliberately.”

His other eye opened, and an ornery grin spread his fine mouth. “I stopped the argument.”

She groaned and started to slap him, but he caught her wrist and tugged her head down and kissed her hard. At first she struggled against it with muffled moans then let herself sink into it and returned it just as hard. Then she pulled back and looked into his wicked face. And right then and there she knew that no matter how heated the disagreement or tempestuous the fight she would never be able to stay mad at him.

Ben helped him to sit up. “Adam Stoddard Cartwright, if you ever do anything like that again I’ll take a switch to you. I don’t care how old you are.”

“I’m all right, Pa. I’ve fallen off enough horses in my time to know how to land.”

Ben helped him get to his feet. “Tell me you’re sure you’re all right, boy.”

“You know me, Pa. You’d havta kill me to hurt me.”

She gave Adam her sternest look. “And if he ever scares me that way again I will.”

Jacoba leaned against him as he held her closer, and realization, bathed her in sheer relief, that she hadn’t caused him injury sank in and left her drained. Then she caught Little Joe’s expression of the purest disgust, and it did her the world of good.

After saying a round of goodnight and several reassurances to his father that he was indeed all right, Adam and Jacoba trudged up to their room. Apologies were best done in private, and goodness knew that they both had much to be contrite for. And wasn’t that always the best part of any fight?

11

Jacoba felt marvelous today. Adam had the most wonderful way of apologizing that made their altercation almost worth it. It yet surprised her how such a fierce, masculine man, who could be construed as nothing other than a man in his most unadulterated form, could be so altogether gentle.

She left the stairs and stopped as her eyelids squeezed shut, and her fingernails dug into the smooth wood of the railing. The image of him as he fell then lying still as death on the landing would be forever etched on her brain to be enshrined in her memories for as long as she lived. And that she could have hurt him would always haunt her.

With a shudder she shook it off and crossed to the front door at the far end of the study. From the second she stepped outside a sheer bedlam of mannish whoops and hollers assaulted her ears. It appeared to be coming from beyond the road, and she determined that she would find out what was back of it.

The ground’s surface had dried in the late summer breezes, and no longer clung to her shoes and the hems of her skirt and petticoats. She looked up as a hawk – at any rate, she thought it was a hawk – rode the thermals high overhead. What a magical land she now called home inhabited by the likes of which no one in New Haven could even imagine.

As she passed the stable she became even more aware of the buzz of activity. A shrill scream that sounded almost like it came from a horse, though she had never heard one emit that kind of noise, rose on the warm morning air.

A large corral came into view, and she now knew where the cacophony came from. Men and horses of different sizes and description where everywhere, but most attention seemed to be directed at what appeared to be some kind of chute to one side of the corral. Three men sat atop it and were paying great attention to whatever was inside.

Now she became aware that her father- and brothers-in-law sat on top of the fence. And inside the corral was another man on horseback.

Ben was the first to be aware of her approach. “Daughter, you shouldn’t be down here.” He brought his legs around and came down in front of her. “This isn’t the place for you.”

“I’m afraid my curiosity got the better of me, and I just had to see what all the commotion was about.” She looked at Hoss, and her gaze only skimmed over Joe. “And, anyway, I do get tired of staying in the house so much. Besides, it isn’t that far, and I don’t see how it could do any harm.”

“We’re breaking horses,” Joe said, with clipped words. “I don’t imagine you’ve ever seen horses broke before.”

She gave him a sideways glance. His tone rankled, and she hoped that he could see her displeasure in her face. “No, I can’t say that I have, but it doesn’t sound like anything so horrible.”

Joe’s features sharpened. “You might be surprised.”

“I really don’t think…”

A familiar voice cut her off. “Let ‘er rip!”

She looked around just as the chute door came open, and a horse burst out in a ball of snorting, bucking fury. It was, however, the man in the saddle that captured her complete attention. Her fingers clamped onto the weathered wood as Adam stuck to the back of the furious animal through all its contortions like a burr.

“Atta, boy, Adam!” Joe seemed close to being as frenzied as the horse. “Stay with ‘im! Stay with ‘im!”

She couldn’t look away as the horse twisted and lunged and reared in an effort to rid itself of the annoyance in the saddle. A few times it even looked like it had taken to dancing.

“Tighten the lead, Adam!” Ben edged closer to Jacoba. “Don’t let him ride you!”

Jacoba wanted to turn and go right back to the house, but she just couldn’t make herself. To see Adam on this brute, to be quite frank about it, scared her to death, but at the same time it had a hypnotic hold on her. Until now her comprehension of what these men were, and what it took to live out here had been incomplete.

Near where she stood, the animal almost smashed into the fence. Her breath caught as she jumped back, and Adam hung right on. She didn’t notice when Ben put a hand on her arm. She moved back to the fence, and her fingernails dug into it until red appeared. It occurred to her to call out Adam’s name, but she held back lest she distract him.

Then, no sooner had it started than the exhibition ended as the horse’s bucking lessened. The rider came alongside, and Adam eased onto the rump of his mount then slid to the ground. Hoss got into the corral to help the men calm the animal from its hectic experience. At least, Adam was off of that nasty creature, but Jacoba’s heart remained in overdrive as he came toward them as he removed his work gloves.

“That was a good ride, son.”

“I don’t think he’d agree with that.” With a wry grin Adam moved to Jacoba and took her face in one hand. “I certainly didn’t expect to see you down here.”

Joe’s upper lip rose as he jumped down. “She was curious.”

“Well now we can’t have that.” Adam climbed over the fence and landed between her, and his little brother. “Curiosity can be a dangerous thing in the wrong hands.”

“Stop teasing. I only wanted to see what was going on.” She nodded to the still agitated horse. “You all act like this sort of thing is commonplace.”

“This is just another work day,” Adam crooked a thumb toward the bronc as it was led away, “and he’s just another job.”

“And so is branding calves and round ups, and fence mending. I suppose you’d like to see those, too.”

Ben and Adam shot Joe a severe look, but Jacoba ignored him.

Adam put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. “Now tell me what you thought of my ride.”

“It was frightening, but at the same time fascinating. I wanted to look away, but I just couldn’t make myself as much as I tried. And you were, as always, magnificent.”

Joe groaned and stomped away.

“Daughter, I still think you shouldn’t be down here, in fact, I’m going to insist that you return to the house.”

“Pa’s right, this is no place for you.”

“Oh, but, Adam, I don’t think…”

“Maybe I should go fall down some more stairs to get my way.”

She blanched at the notion. “All right,” her cheeks colored, “but only if you’ll walk me back.”

Adam looked to his father.

Ben chortled. “I think we can manage until you get back, but please remember that there is still plenty left to be done, and not all the time in the world to do it.”

“Straight up and straight back,” Adam held up his right hand, “I promise.”

Ben jabbed a finger at him to give emphasis to each word. “You see that you do.” Then he walked away with a mischievous grin.

She took Adam’s arm with eager hands. But as they started for the house, she glanced behind her. She caught sight of Joe on the other side of the corral, and those condescending green eyes were aimed right at her. She hoped that her expression conveyed what she felt, and her self-assuredness. Her lungs expanded with a full breath as she blotted him from her sight and turned back to Adam as they kept walking.

“I saw the looks you and Joe were giving each other. He won’t back down from this, you know.”

“I hope you don’t think I will.”

“I just don’t want you getting yourself into something that maybe won’t be so pleasant.”

She stopped just as they reached the stable and turned to him. “It already isn’t pleasant. I came to this house with the highest expectations for our life together, and being the best wife to you that I could. But, Adam, I will not run and hide from your youngest brother every time he gives me a look I don’t like or tries to make something harder on me. I think we both know that he would like nothing better than to drive a wedge between us, though for the life of me I don’t know why. But that won’t happen, either. So if it’s a fight he wants it’s a fight I will give him, and one I intend to win.” She reached up and placed a hand against the side of his face. “And nothing in my life has ever been so worth the battle. Someone may get bloodied, but it won’t be you, I’ll see to that, I promise.”

“It’s not me I’m worried about. Joe has a temper, but then I don’t know a Cartwright who doesn’t, but his seems to get fired up a little more than the rest of us. I just wouldn’t want you to get caught in it.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, I can be a little fiery myself, and Joe could just be the one to get burnt.”

“I think a few blisters could be the least of his worries, ‘cause I’ll bust his head.” He took her face in his hands and looked deep into her eyes. “I’ll stand against anybody for you.”

Joe’s eyes set on a sight that nauseated him just as he swung the saddle onto the bronc’s back. He hated to see Adam moon over this woman that he knew so little about. Joe had thought about telling him what he had heard about her, but he knew that Adam would never listen to him. He reached down to get hold of the cinch, but his eyes never left the couple.

“Joe, watch what you’re doing!”

Joe’s gaze lowered, and he saw that he had the saddle on backwards. “Sorry, Pa.”

On a robust guffaw, Hoss slapped his little brother on the back. “I guess he’d rather see where he’s been, to where he’s goin’.”

Joe, however, wasn’t in the mood to laugh as his eyes returned to Adam and Jacoba. He had to have it out with her, and the sooner, the better. He had to get her deceit out into the open where the others could see it. His fingers tightened on the saddle. He had to.

12

Jacoba sat on the edge of the bed as she watched Adam pack his saddlebags. Her hands were drawn together in her lap with fingers laced, and no one could ever mistake her for being happy.

His eyes flicked up to her as he stuffed in a clean shirt. “You’re not saying much.”

“There isn’t much to say except that I wish you weren’t going. It has only been ten days since you got back and already you’re leaving again.”

“This shouldn’t take too long. Believe me; if I didn’t havta go I certainly wouldn’t.”

“I don’t see why Pa can’t send Hoss or Little Joe.”

“Because they don’t know the operation at the sawmill like I do.” He fastened the buckle on a pouch.

“Well if it’s that important Pa should go himself. You don’t have to do everything that gets done around here.”

He hung the saddlebags over the footboard, and sat on the opposite side of the bed from her. “You knew before we were married that we couldn’t be together all the time, or you should have. This ranch is more than just our home, it’s an enterprise and the sawmill is a part of that.”

She stubbed up and turned her back to him.

On an impulse, he pulled her across the bed and cradled her against him, and looked down into those stark, black eyes. “This is as hard for me. I don’t like being away from you so much, but I have family and obligations, both of which were there long before I met you.”

“On our wedding day I distinctly remember Reverend Thorn saying, ‘…and forsaking all others.’ Sometimes I feel like the one you’ve forsaken.”

“If you feel that way then maybe you should go back to your folks. I won’t force you to stay here if you aren’t happy. That was never my intention.”

All at once, Jacoba felt as if her heart would split itself in two as she saw the sadness come into those soulful eyes. “Oh, no, Adam.” She threw her arms around his neck and buried her face against him. “I’d die if I did that.” She leaned back and looked up at him. “The thought of living without you is more painful than any wound any weapon could inflict. I don’t mean to be selfish with you, it’s just that I hate being without you.”

The corners of his mouth crooked. “Then you do love me.”

“Every day I thank the Good Lord for sending you to me. And you will never get away from me so easily.”

“I hoped you’d say that.”

Jacoba thought she would succumb as his head bent over hers, and she fell into the comfort of his muscular arms as he kissed her. She knew that if she should pass from life at this very moment she would go loved beyond all words, and she could ask for no more.

She stayed secure in his embrace for as long as she could, but all too soon he had to get on his way. He gathered up the saddlebags and they went downstairs to where Ben and Hoss waited. Joe had gone off somewhere and no one really knew or, for that matter, cared. After the farewells were exchanged she went outside with him where she could say her own private adieu.

Adam put the saddlebags across the big chestnut’s back and tied them into place on the saddle. “I’ll get this taken care of as quickly as I can, and come right back home.”

She moved closer and took his hand. “I know you will. All I ask is that you take care of the best part of my life, and don’t worry about me. I’ll be all right, though I can never be fine when you aren’t here. And Pa, Hoss and Hop Sing will be here to help.”

“I know they will or I wouldn’t go.” He took her in his arms, and kissed her so that it would last, then released her and stepped into the saddle. He pulled a hand over her cheek. “I love you.”

She grasped it and kissed his palm. “I know that, and I love you.” Then she moved back.

Sport wheeled and headed off along the road, and she watched as he rode out of her life again. She would stand there until he had ridden from sight then she would go back inside and keep her pain hidden as much as she could.

Hoss came down from the house, his hands thrust into the front pockets of his britches. Right now she needed to have someone with her, so, with his father’s complete agreement, he came out to her. She looked so small and alone as Sport carried his brother away from her. He wanted to hold her and make the hurt stop, but he knew it wouldn’t help. “He’ll be back, Miss Jacoba, don’t you worry none.”

“I’m not worried.” Her eyes followed Adam as he grew smaller. “I just don’t like being away from him so much. It seems like he no sooner gets back than he’s gone again. And then that awful argument the other night.” She shook all over. “Hoss, if I had hurt him I couldn’t have lived with myself. And it bothers me that it probably won’t be the last one we have.”

“It won’t be. You’re both too mule-headed to give an inch. But you’re good for ‘im, Miss Jacoba.”

“He’s good for me. I never told you that I knew he was the one from the very first time I saw him.”

“Didn’t need to. I’ve seen how the both of you watch each other when you think nobody’s lookin’. An’ I reckon if’n it’s right the heart for sure’s gonna know it.”

At last Adam disappeared from her sight, and she turned to Hoss. “I’m so glad you’re Adam’s brother, and I hope you don’t mind if I lean on you from time-to-time.”

“Shoot, ma’am, if’n’ I can’t hold up under a little filly like you then I sure enough ain’t worth much.” Hoss held his arm out to her. “Now I think we just oughtta go on back into the house.”

After a final glance toward the road accompanied by an onerous sigh, she took his proffered arm. His large hand engulfed both of hers, and he gave them his gentlest pat, then they went into the house.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jacoba sat in the big red leather chair by the dormant fireplace with one of her faded dresses spread over her lap. A seam under one arm had popped for what must be the third time and it needed mending. She whip stitched over the previous repairs, and her eyes never left her hands. The sound of the front door brought a halt to her work, and her head rose, only to have her anticipation crushed. With a frown, she went back to her sewing again.

Ben’s boots clomped on the hardwood as the big man came to stand by the pedestal table, on which he deposited his hat and gun belt. Since she had come to live with them, he found himself daily reminded of her love for his son. As well as her great beauty, he could see why Adam had fallen so hopelessly in love with her in such a short period. He hadn’t been quite ready to accept her at first, but after what she had done for Hoss without a moment’s delay, and the way Adam lit up when she was around or even when he just talked about her, he had welcomed her as a member of his family, his daughter. And now, to see her grieve in this imposed separation hurt him to witness.

“That’s the second time I’ve seen you mending that dress since you came here. I think you need some new ones.”

“It’s all right.” She looked up at him, and forgot about the dress. “I was raised with New England frugality. As long as something holds together you use it, and when it wears out or comes apart you use it for something else.”

“That may be, but this isn’t New England. So the very next time you’re in the settlement I want you to go to Mr. Waxman’s store and buy from every bolt of fabric he has.” His stern tone was attended by a warm smile. “My daughter won’t go in patched up rags. Not as long as I have anything to say about it.”

She tried to appear cheerful then she lowered her head and concentrated on her sewing.

Ben came around in front of the chair and lifted her face to him. “You needn’t tell me that you miss him. I can see it with my own eyes.

“He said he wouldn’t be gone long, but it’s been twelve days.” Her brow furrowed. “I do hope nothing had happened to him.”

“We would’ve heard if it had. It’s just taking longer than he expected, is all. He should be home soon.”

“I hope so. If not for my family the loneliness would be unbearable.” She tried to center her attention back on the dress. The needle pulled the thread through the soft, worn material with a steady cadence.

Ben took the garment, needle and all, and placed on the green-topped table. “That’ll be enough of that for now.”

“But I…”

“I’ll have none of that.” He grasped her hands and pulled her up from the chair. “You need to go for a ride, and I have just the horse for you.”

“But I need to…”

“Nonsense. You’ve been cooped up in this house ever since Adam left, and you need to get outside for a change. The weather is glorious and would be the perfect tonic for what ails you. Now get yourself ready while I saddle the horses. I’ll meet you right out front.”

“I don’t have any riding clothes.”

Ben grinned with a spark of his own wickedness. “My son doesn’t mind what you’re wearing. Now get ready.”

Her eyes twinkled in the light that streamed in from the windows. “A ride does sound wonderful. All right, I won’t be a moment.” With a whirl she bounced up the stairs.

Ben crossed his arms over his chest as he watched her go. Yes, she was without a doubt a fine addition to the family. She and Adam would give him fine grandchildren, and while boys were what he wanted most, he wouldn’t turn away a precious little girl or two.

All Jacoba did was run a brush through her hair and tie it back from her face before she headed back downstairs. She felt light as a cloud for the first time since Adam had left, and she bobbed down the steps like an India rubber ball caught in an ocean wave. When she got outside Ben waited as promised. One of the horses was his own big buckskin, and her eyes went round as marbles when she saw the other one. She stepped to the little dapple gray mare and ran a hand over the animal’s downy muzzle.

“Her name’s Sunshine. When she was born Hoss said she was like the morning sun after a rain.”

“She just may be the sweetest horse I have ever seen.” She rested her cheek against the mare’s velvety jowl. “She’s just perfect.”

“Then she’s yours.”

“I thought she belongs to Hoss.”

“She belongs on the Ponderosa, just like you do, and I know Hoss would want you to have her. So she’s yours, unless, of course, you don’t want her.”

“Of course I want her,” she rubbed between the horse’s soft brown eyes, “but to give such a wonderful gift.”

“Nothing’s too good for the wife of my son.” He eased her around to face him. “And I didn’t give it, you earned it. I can see how happy you make Adam and anyone who does that for one of my boys, I want to do the same for.”

She batted back the tears as he kissed her on the forehead. “I’ll try not to disappoint you or Adam.”

“I don’t think you could ever do that. Now,” he steered her to the dapple’s side, “let’s go for that ride.”

“This is the first sidesaddle I’ve seen since I came out here.”

“We keep some on hand for guests, but I happen to know that one has been ordered special from New York.”

She looked at him with full eyes.

“Well, now, my daughter can’t use just any old sidesaddle.”

She put her foot into the stirrup, and he helped her to get mounted. Then he got aboard Buck, and they headed along the road at a brisk trot.

Jacoba had only gotten a glimpse of the vastness of the Ponderosa before, and the night she had gone out with Adam it had been too dark – even with the moonlight – to make out much. It was like a kingdom, and she felt as if she were living a fairy tale like the ones she had read as a child. But this was no fairy tale and all that spread out around her was very real.

There were pines that looked as if they could scrape the halls of Heaven, and here the mountains were closer. Here one could see the snow on the highest peaks change color – orange to yellow to purple – with the progression of the day from dawn to evening. They rode past herds of cattle that could fill an entire pasture. Twice she caught quick sight of cougars as they slipped away through the brush, and rather than fright it brought the notion that one of the beasts had brought her Adam to her. And all this to the accompaniment of Ben’s rich voice as he described and explained and shared the land he had come to so many years ago.

But – splendid as it was – all too soon it came time to head home. Ben led the way and they headed along the bank of a small stream that trickled at the edge of dense woods. They rode on for close to twenty minutes before Jacoba broke the silence.

“Pa, tell me what Adam’s mother was like, if that isn’t too much to ask. He said she was the daughter of a Massachusetts sea captain and nothing else. I have seen things in him that make me think he must be like her.”

“In some ways he is very much like her. Sometimes the way he holds his head or the way his mouth draws into a pucker when he’s deep in concentration and Elizabeth could be very stubborn when she wanted to.”

Since he rode ahead of her she allowed herself a smile. Adam hadn’t gotten all his stubbornness from his mother.

“He is so much like her that sometimes it’s as if she is still with me.”

“That may be, but I knew who you were without being told because I had seen Adam.” She shifted in the saddle. “He must have loved her very much.”

“He never knew her. She died when he was born, but I’ve tried to keep her alive for him. I bought her a music box before we were married, and when I thought he was old enough to take proper care of it I gave it to him.”

“I’ve seen it. It’s very pretty. And no one has to tell me that you loved her.”

“I did, and I loved Joe’s and Hoss’ just as much.”

She began to think of him losing the three women he loved so much and lapsed into silence and stayed that way for the rest of the ride. Even Ben’s mild prodding couldn’t induce her to say any more.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jacoba picked at her supper like a titmouse. The wonderful freedom if spirit she had derived from the ride and the gentle nature of the mare she rode had vaporized. And Joe’s general attitude toward her only exasperated what she already felt.

Ben watched her like a hawk, his own food forgotten. “You need to eat, daughter.”

“I’m afraid my appetite is nowhere to be found.” She pushed a bite of potato across her plate with her fork. “It all smells and looks so good, but I just don’t want it.”

“Say, I hear you met Sunshine today. She sure is a sweetheart.”

Jacoba looked up into Hoss’ bright face, but only nodded. He always seemed to be able to brighten her mood by just looking as her, but not tonight. She thought she missed Adam more than she ever had, and maybe because she had no idea of when he would be back. The eager anticipation of his impending return always being dashed had taken its toll.

“I gave her to Jacoba.” Ben took a drink of his wine. “I thought that since she’s a part of the family now that she should have a horse of her own.”

“I think that’s a right good idea, Pa. Don’t know why I didn’t think of it myself.”

Joe watched his father and brother make over her as if she were something special. It sickened him the way they fawned over her, and he couldn’t watch it any more. He clunked his fork down on his plate and stood. “Pa, I’m not hungry either. If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some close work out in the stable I need to do before it gets too dark.”

Ben gave him a wary eye. “All right this time, but don’t make a habit of it.”

Joe promised with a polite thank you, then got his coat and hat and went outside as fast as his legs would carry him.

Jacoba gave him a cautious side glance, but little else. She didn’t altogether believe that he hated her as she had at first thought, but that he didn’t trust her she knew with all certainty. Her attention returned to her plate and the food looked less appetizing than ever.

13

It had been a long, hard morning for Jacoba as she helped Hop Sing with the washing. The chore, back breaking as she had always known it to be, she welcomed as it kept her mind as well as her body busy. After the pleasant respite of the midday meal she had gone right back at it, lest she had too much time to think. With her arms filled with folded clothes – just plucked fresh from the line and perfumed with the fresh Sierra air – she went up to their bedroom to put them away. Her soft voice as she hummed a favorite tune filled the room and mingled with the beams of sunlight that came through the window. As she closed the top chest drawer someone gripped her shoulders from behind and spun her around.

Warm lips smothered hers before she knew what was happening as powerful arms thought to squeeze the life from her. Then he buried his face in her hair.

Adam was home.

She held onto him as if afraid someone would take him from her. He had been gone for eighteen days, and the ache that had grown inside her vanished as if on a puff of smoke as she held him.

“I have missed you so much.” He kissed the side of her neck. “And every day’s been worse than the one before. The next time Pa wants something like that done he can do it himself.”

She kissed his temple and rested her head against his. “He’ll have to because I won’t let you go again unless I go along with you.”

He leaned back and looked at her with the strangest expression. Jacoba frowned as she noticed a deep purple bruise on his right cheekbone. She winced as her fingertips skimmed over it. “I’m not sure I even want to know what happened.”

One eyebrow rose, and a lopsided grin turned his mouth as he grazed a knuckle over it. “A minor disagreement, but we got things ironed out with no hard feelings.”

She pulled his head down and placed a tender kiss on the angry mark. He clutched her close to him and brought her up from the floor. “It’s not like a woman’s curiosity not to wantta know who hit me.”

“Knowing you like I do, I don’t need to. I can only guess at whose feathers you ruffled and leave it at that. All that matters is that you weren’t badly hurt, and that you’re home now. Everything else is trivial.”

He backed up and pushed the door closed with his foot. “We have a lot of time to make up for, and now’s as good a time as any to get started.”

Her feet dangled above the floor as their lips touched. If this was how all his home comings were going to be, then maybe his being away wouldn’t be so bad. His fingers knotted in her hair as she reveled in his nearness, and her pulse throbbed in her ears. More than ever she knew that her life could never be complete without him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was a little more than half-an-hour before supper when Adam and his father and brothers blustered in as Jacoba was setting the table. He had left to find them out on the range after a suitable amount of time to reacquaint himself with his wife. He had wanted to fill Pa in on the outcome of his business at the mill, and hadn’t wanted to wait until he got back to the house.

Joe came in first. “It’s nothing any poor boy out of New Orleans couldn’t do without really thinking about it.”

Jacoba cringed. She hated it whenever he said that. It seemed to her to be more directed at Adam, and she detected a superior, condescending tone. At least, to her it sounded that way.

She stepped from the dining room as the men came into the parlor, loud and slapping dust from their clothes. Her face fell and her hands went to her hips with an exaggerated jerk. “I have been dusting and here you come and put it all right back. You could have done that outside.” One corner of her mouth crooked to give her away.

“Sorry, daughter.” With a hint of a grin Ben smacked his hat against his leg to fill the air with extra dust. “Old habits. Next time we’ll try to remember.”

She came toward them as a full blown smile spread her mouth. “I don’t care if you bring in a bucket of dirt and speared it through the house.” She put her arms around Adam’s waist and looked up at him. “As long as you’re all home safe and I don’t have to worry about you.”

“You mean worry about him.” Hoss gave her an ornery leer. “You don’t fool me none.”

She looked around Adam at him. “I should have known better than to try.”

Ben slammed his hat and gun belt down on the pedestal table. “Hop Sing you’ve got four starving men out here!”

“Keep shirt on,” fired back from the kitchen. “Supper be leady when I say it leady.”

This brought forth a round of laughter from all save Joe, who just stood there and stewed.

Adam’s arms tightened around her, as Hoss said at his shoulder, “I don’t know how you do it, Adam. If’n I was married to somethin’ like that I wouldn’t leave ‘er for more ‘n a minute or two at a time. An’ when I did it’d only be ‘cause somebody was holdin’ a scattergun to my head.”

“I think the only reason I can is because of how good it is to come home to, and the longer I’m gone the better it is.”

“You go a point there, older brother.” Hoss gave Jacoba a sly wink then started upstairs after his father to clean up for supper.

Joe continued to watch them as revulsion curled his upper lip. It still boggled his mind how the rest of his family could be taken in by this woman’s play acting. He riffled his fingers in his thick curls. He had decided some time ago that he would get her alone and have it out with her and maybe open Adam’s eyes before it was too late.

“Come on, Joe.”

“I’m coming.” Joe watched them for a few seconds longer then went after Hoss.

Adam looked around to make sure they were alone before he kissed her, not that that had ever stopped him before. “I guess I’d better get washed up, too.”

“And I had better go see to the cobbler unless you want me to burn it.”

He kissed her again then released her and bolted for the stairs. As he got to the landing he stopped and shot her a look that said I love you then dashed on and disappeared down the hall.

Sometimes he behaved like a big, overgrown boy, and she loved it. With a snicker and the shake of her head she went back into the kitchen. Hoss would never forgive her if she burned that cobbler.

Jacoba hummed from pure contentment as she left the kitchen twenty minutes later. The arraignment with Hop Sing was working out just fine. He did the main meals while she did the desserts and helped to clean up afterward. Adam had gotten used to the idea, though there were times when she caught a look in those dark hazel eyes that he still wasn’t so crazy about the idea. “I just want you happy,” he had told her, and she knew it to be the truth.

As she started into the parlor her feet froze to the floor, and her pleasant voice halted. Joe stood at the fireplace, making savage jabs at the logs with the poker to send golden sparks up the chimney. For the first time since she had come here she found herself quite alone with him. With a deep, quiet breath her spine stiffened and she marched straight for the stairs.

She had just placed her hand on the newel post when an icy voice rose up behind her. “You don’t fool me.” She didn’t move or dare to look at him. “You may have the others fooled, but you don’t have me. I’ve heard the stories, and I know what you’re up to.”

Jacoba wanted to walk away and leave him to think what he wanted about her, but fear for Adam made her turn to face him. “I don’t know what stories you’re talking about, and the only thing I’m up to is trying to make your brother happy. Whether you want to believe it or not, I do love him.” His derisive snort made her want to scream, but she bit down on her lower lip instead.

“You’re dumb or you think I am. I told you, I’ve heard the stories.”

“Then maybe you can just tell me about them, because I haven’t.”

“All right, I will.” He slammed the poker down against the hearth and stormed over to her. “You came out here looking for a husband. You tried to find one in Connecticut, and when that didn’t work you came out here to try your luck, and boy did you get lucky. You latched onto the first one that gave you the time of day. And when you found out that he had money that made it even better.”

Jacoba couldn’t keep her mouth from falling agape. She hadn’t heard any of this before, but it didn’t surprise her that a gullible teenaged boy would swallow it without learning the truth behind it. She understood now why he didn’t like her, and she wanted to believe that concern for his brother fostered it.

Hop Sing peered around the corner. The sound of raised voices had aroused his curiosity, and he didn’t like what he saw. Only a dead man couldn’t know how Mista Joe felt about Missy, and coupled with a temper that could burn so hot, it made for a bad combination. He vanished back into the kitchen without being noticed and scurried out the rear door – he had to find Mista Adam.

“I won’t deny that I have been trying to find a husband, but what the stories apparently didn’t mention was that I wouldn’t marry just anyone to be marrying. I knew from the second that I saw Adam that we were meant to be together.” She smiled and reached out to him, but he backed away from her. “I knew he was my special one.”

He harrumphed. “I can’t believe that after only two-and-a-half weeks. I don’t see how you could in such a short time unless you knew about Pa’s money.”

“My parents knew after less time than that, and they’ve been married for thirty-one years. Joe, I don’t know exactly what you’ve heard about me, but the only true thing is that I love Adam with all my heart and I only…,”

“Maybe that’s why you knocked him down the stairs.”

This was useless, and she had to fight hard to hold back her frustration. “I did no such thing. You were there; you know that he did it himself. I would never deliberately hurt him, which is more that I can say for you.”

It had happened. Her temper had slipped and there was no going back.

Joe’s eyes narrowed on her, and his hands clenched into fists. “It sounds like you’re saying that I would.”

“You do in your resentment of him.”

“I don’t resent Adam.”

“Oh, yes, you do. You constantly belittle him,” her voice rose even more, “and treat him like the poor relative you’re ashamed of.”

Joe edged closer to her. “I would never do that to Adam.”

“You do that to Adam so much that it makes me want to cry. Joe, we can’t choose our parents or our families or where or when we’re born.” By now she was so angry that she didn’t care what she said. “It’s not Adam’s fault that he’s from Boston any more than it’s yours that you’re from New Orleans.”

Something snapped in Joe’s head, and before he knew it, his arm telescoped out, and he slapped her across the face.

With a startled gasp her hand flew to her cheek. Jacoba, for as long as she had lived, had never, ever been struck that way. By anyone!

“Joseph!”

From nowhere Adam appeared. He pushed Joe back with a savage shove, and put himself between his little brother and Jacoba. She had never seen Adam look so menacing, and it frightened her.

“She said…” Joe started, in his own defense.

“I heard what she said, we all did.” Adam’s calm was ominous. “Now maybe you’d like to go outside and settle this like a man with those epées you’re so fond of playing with.”

“That’s won’t settle anything.” Ben got between his sons. “One of you could be hurt or killed.”

“Maybe and it’d probably be me,” Adam’s glare grew more sinister, “but he won’t hit her again.”

Ben turned a wrathful scowl on his youngest. “No, he won’t, or I’ll take a switch to him myself. I don’t care how grownup he thinks he is. Now I want you to apologize to your brother and his wife.”

Joe stood fast, and the look he gave Jacoba could have melted iron. He crossed his arms over his chest and said not one word.

“Joseph, I told you…”

“It’s too late for that, Pa.” Adam turned to Jacoba and compassion doused the fire. His gentle fingers touched her reddened cheek. “Put some of your things into that carpet bag of yours.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “We can’t stay here.”

“Adam, you can’t leave. This is your home.” Ben’s coffee eyes darted to her. “Yours and Jacoba’s.”

Adam shook his head. “I’m sorry, Pa, but we can’t stay here any more. Not if I’m gonna havta worry about her whenever I’m not around. Jacoba, get your things.” He eased her toward the staircase.

Jacoba went onto the first step, but her eyes stayed on Adam. If not for him she would have wished that she had never come there. As she had feared from the onset, Little Joe had ruined things.

“You don’t even know where you’ll stay, son.”

“We’ll go to the settlement. Maybe we can get a room at Miss Emily Prigg’s, and Jacoba can see her mother and father and her brothers.”

“No, I won’t let you go.”

“I’m afraid you don’t have any choice, Pa, none of us do except Little Joe, and he’s already made it.”

Ben rested a hand on Adam’s shoulder. “At least wait until morning. Have some supper and get some sleep. Things might look not so bad in the light of day, and if you still decide to go, you can see better where you’re going.”

“All right, Pa, but we’ll eat in our room, and I doubt if we’ll sleep a whole lot.” Adam’s weary eyes sought out the little cook. “Hop Sing, please bring us up a tray.”

“Light away, Mista Adam.” Hop Sing rushed for the kitchen, but not before he shot Joe his nastiest look.

Adam put an arm around Jacoba and pulled her to him, and they started up the stairs. She let his warmth envelope her as she tried to blot out the whole ugly episode, though she knew she couldn’t. Behind her she could hear Ben as he tore into Joe, and the young man’s feeble attempts to defend the indefensible, and she didn’t care. Hoss hadn’t said a thing the whole time. She would always recall the misery in his soft blue eyes, as she would the fire that had burned in the face of Hop Sing, and it would only add to the pain that she already felt for Adam.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hop Sing brought up the tray as promised. He even added a couple pieces of her cobbler as an extra enticement, but it didn’t help. Everything sat on the dresser with little touched.

For one of the few times in her life, Jacoba cried like a baby, and it had nothing to do with being slapped or what Joe had said to her. No, it was because the dream of a wonderful life there with Adam had been destroyed. As for Joe, she tried not to even think about him. He was the cause of all this grief, and right now she didn’t care if she ever saw him again. She buried her face in the pillow, and it muffled her crying.

Adam’s arms closed around her as he tried to soothe away the hurt. He had never seen her this way, and he hated it. He could feel her tremble as he held her against his chest, and to hear her heartrending sobs in the darkness cut into him like a knife. He could thrash Little Joe for doing this to her, and driving them from their home, but he knew he had come to the right decision. To keep her safe he would do whatever he had to.

It took Jacoba almost an hour to cry herself out and fall asleep in his arms. He could feel her breathing, and felt a yearning to never let her go. She shifted and snuggled closer to him without waking up. He brushed back her hair from her sleeping face and kissed the top of her head, careful not to disturb her. “I love you Jacoba Ruth Martell Cartwright, and when I die I want it to be in your arms.”

She slept until right at the break of day. Soft coral light slipped into the room as Jacoba looked around at him. She saw that he had fallen asleep, and it softened the intensity of his face. When she had first met him she had no idea that a woman could love a man as much as she did him. She lay content in the protection of his arms, and she knew that whatever came he would always be hers – her Adam. With a faint sigh, she closed her eyes, and dozed back off to sleep.

14

The sun had been full up for almost an hour when Jacoba finished her packing, since she had been in no special hurry to get it done. With a final look around the room that had become her sanctuary, she turned and, with reluctance, walked out, and pulled the door together behind her.

As she drew closer to the stairs she could hear Pa’s and Adam’s raised voices in the parlor. She stopped on the top landing to postpone the inevitable.

“This is ridiculous. I can’t even talk to you.”

“Because there’s nothing more to talk about. Pa, that’s it. I won’t go off and leave Jacoba in this house where he can get at her any time he sees fit to. I didn’t marry her just to give him the pleasure of slapping her around.”

“I think last night came as much of a surprise to Joe as anybody. I don’t believe it’ll happen again.”

“I’m not willing to gamble on that. Now I’ve said all I’m gonna say on the subject. We can’t stay here any more, and that’s all there is to it.”

“No, that’s not all. Son, I understand how you feel, but…”

“I said that’s it.”

Jacoba took a slow, deep breath and straightened her back then started down. Adam waited for her at the bottom step and took the carpet bag from her and steered her into the room.

Since she had met him, Jacoba had never seen such a despondent look in the rich, dark eyes of Ben Cartwright. From what little she had heard she would never have thought it, but since she had come here and gotten to know him she knew better. She had seen firsthand the bottomless love he held for his sons, and when she had married Adam that love had embraced her as well. And now, with her and Adam about to leave, maybe never to return, she could see how profound his sorrow was.

Before another word could be spoken, Hop Sing scuttled out of the kitchen with a cloth wrapped bundle tied with twine. It was killing him inside to see his oldest boy and his girl go, but he could do nothing about it. He knew why the first born had decided to go and take his bride, and the little cook agreed, but still it hurt. After what Little Joe had done, Mista Adam had no other choice, for Missy’s sake. But oh how he would miss them.

Hop Sing seemed self-conscious as he held the parcel out to Jacoba. “This some of Hop Sing’s biscuits split with ham between, for journey.”

She took it from him. “Thank you, Hop Sing. These will be very welcome on the trail.” How it grieved her so to leave him – to leave them all, with one obvious exception. Then the line between servant and master blurred even further as she kissed him on the cheek. “And thank you for your friendship.”

A startled flush covered Hop Sing’s face, and his obsidian eyes met with hers. Now he knew one of the reasons that he had been so drawn to her, once he had given himself a chance. There had never been any class distinction between them, and she had never looked down on him. To her he was her friend, and that was all she saw. With a quick bow he turned and went back into the kitchen so no one would see his tears.

Jacoba daubed at her right eye, careful not to let anyone see. She wasn’t going to cry, she just wasn’t. Firm fingers gripped her shoulders, and she looked into the haggard face of Ben Cartwright. Neither said anything as he pulled her to him, and held her tight against his broad chest. She could hear the fierce beat of his heart, and he rested his chin on the top of her head. How could she make herself do this? Only because Adam would be with her.

Ben stroked the long, wavy raven hair that was so much like his oldest son’s. This dark little thing had come into his family, his home and his heart, and he knew things wouldn’t be the same without her. If she were going alone it would be bad enough, but Adam was going with her. He couldn’t expect anything less from his strong willed son and – as a father – he was proud of his oldest. He had tried to talk him out of it, as any parent would, but down inside he knew that he would do the same thing to protect the woman he loved.

In silence, they went outside to where Hoss waited with Sport saddled and ready to go. Adam had been adamant that Jacoba would ride with him, and she hadn’t felt like an argument, so Sunshine would stay behind. The brothers shared a look of the sincerest despair as Adam went to his horse and tied the carpet bag to the saddle.

“I wish there was something I could say or do to convince you to stay, son.”

Adam’s brow knit into a dark frown. “Shoot Little Joe.”

“There ought to be something you could say, daughter.”

“I tried, but I’m afraid that he’s too much like his father for it to do any good.” The smile that she had managed was quick to die.

Ben only grinned and nodded.

As she turned to Hoss she thought she would burst into tears, but she kept a tight rein on herself and didn’t. She placed a hand on his cheek, and wished she didn’t have to look into those heartbreaking eyes. He lifted her up as she put her arms around his neck. She was like a child in his immense arms, and with one squeeze he could have crushed the life from her. But she trusted him, and loved him, and knew he wouldn’t harm her.

Hoss could have held his sister that way forever, and she was his sister for he loved her as much as if they had been blooded kin. He knew he couldn’t, though, and it grieved him so. Ever so careful, he let his hold tighten on her then he sat her down as if she were a delicate china figurine. “Maybe you won’t be away too long, Miss Jacoba.”

“I hope not, Hoss. With all my soul, I hope not.”

She wiped away a single tear that had tracked down his cheek then turned to Adam. Without words, he shook his father’s hand and found himself pulled into a warm embrace. He then went to his brother and gave Hoss a playful punch in the arm. The big man’s grin was as cheerless as any Adam had ever seen. It was twisting him inside to leave, but he could no longer trust his little brother around his wife, and this was the only way to ensure that something like last night never happened again. He looked around and found just what he had expected to or, rather, what he hadn’t. He untied the rein from the hitch rail and swung into the saddle.

Little Joe watched from his secret vantage point at the corner of the house behind a tall bush. He had only meant to drive her away, and he had succeeded, but he hadn’t figured on Adam going with her. He had only wanted Adam to see her for what she really was. But maybe he had been wrong about that, too, though he would never admit it.

With a last glance at two people she had come to adore, Jacoba went to the horse. Adam put his arm out to her, she grasped it, and he pulled her up behind him. As she snuggled her arms around him, he turned the horse toward the road and nudged him into a lope, and Jacoba didn’t dare look back.

THE END

PART 1

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